#david allen griffin imagine

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting David Allen Griffin

(Not my gif) (Requested by anonymous)

(I'll try to get the dating portion of this finished in the near future. I felt like there was too much included in this scenario to put it all in one post anyway. Hope you enjoy!)

“Have you ever noticed that the older you get, the smaller you become?”

- You don’t know the exact moment you started to feel insignificant but it felt as though the minute you turned eighteen, it was magnified sevenfold. Once you got out of high school and you got your license and you started working, you started to realize just how anonymous the rest of the world really was. 

- You could pass by hundreds of people a day, and yet, you wouldn’t be able to recall a single one of them off the top of your head. You could sit on a curb for hours and no one would even bother looking your way. If you started crying, no one would ask if you were okay. If you were visibly struggling, they’d look the other way. It all just felt so …lonely. 

- Maybe that’s why you started your humble radio show. Maybe a part of you was yearning: yearning to reach out and brave that daunting gap between you and the rest of the fast paced society that was whirling around you. To speak to the people who looked a lot like yourself: like-minded individuals who just wanted to talk to someone who was willing to take the time out of their day to listen; to speak to someone who wanted to make a connection with them regardless of how fleeting that connection may prove to be. 

- Anonymity provided the people who called into your show with a sense of protection. They quickly found themselves throwing their inhibitions to the wind, allowing themselves to speak freely and comfortably, to vent their frustrations. Most of them were lonely: happy to speak about anything at all. Some were opinionated and prideful: wanting to talk about their views and passionately debate any point that you brought up that they didn’t agree with. Others were desperate: seeking guidance from another faceless person who tried their best not to judge. You���re not entirely sure where David fell on that list, though perhaps it was somewhere in the middle. 

- You worked your radio show late at night which meant that most people weren’t around to listen to it: if you were lucky, you’d get ten or so callers a night, and if you were really lucky, none of them would be perverts. Most of the time, you’d just play music for your listeners or ramble on about relevant facts or whatever else came to mind that could help you pass the time.

- David's calls were a welcome reprieve, a break from all of the prank callers and heavy breathers. You always knew what you were getting into whenever you heard his voice, knew it would never let you down. After a while, you’d begun looking forward to talking to him. 

- He didn’t call regularly and the lengths of his conversations always varied; ranging from guest speaking for a couple of minutes to practically becoming a co-host, but you were always more than happy to talk to him. That was, until his calls started taking a darker turn.... 

“Have you ever thought about hurting someone.”

- The question had thrown you off, your eyes glancing towards the line that connected the two of you. “I think most people have,” You’d answered after a moment or two. “When someone wrongs us I think it’s sort of natural to get upset and want to get even.”

“No, no. Not when you’re wronged. I mean a total stranger. Someone you don’t even know.” Came his reply. 

“I can’t say I have David. …Have you?” He didn’t speak for a moment, the silence feeling much more heavy than the ones you were used to. Finally, he let out an exhale and answered. 

“All the time.” The way he said it made you shiver: the way his voice seemed to change, shift into something a little darker, something with more depth than you were capable of understanding. 

“Why do you think that is?” You questioned earnestly, intrigued yet wary. David had never behaved like this before, and this slight crack in his facade had managed to fill you with morbid curiosity. 

“I don’t know. It’s just always been there. Something in me just wants to do it,” He’d answered, pausing for a long moment before continuing. “What do you think about that?”

- The call ended soon after, and the next call you'd had with him made it seem as though things were back to normal, but after that, there was a noticeable shift in the way that David talked to you. He still spoke about music or the same types of things he’d always brought up, but amongst all of that were conversations about far more morbid topics.

- You wrote it off as an interest in psychology or forensics, sometimes an odd way of wording things while trying to have a deep conversation, but after a while, you couldn’t deny that there was something truly off about your anonymous friend.

- In a matter of months, he’d shifted from talking about bands to telling you about his violent thoughts: about how he’d stalked a woman, about her routine, about how he’d killed her, and about how it felt. You’d let him speak about it for a while, mainly out of morbid curiosity: unsure of whether he was reciting fact or fiction. You’d answered truthfully when he asked questions, you'd pried for more information, tried to pick apart whether he was being truthful or not.

- You went to the police once you were certain, telling them everything you knew, trying your best to recall all of the details he’d told you about himself; things you’d forgotten about as time went on. They’d chosen to tap your radio station, encouraging you to talk to him and try to get as much information out of him as you possibly could without being suspicious: a taxing request which involved listening to some gruesome details that you’d rather not have heard. 

“You went to the police, they’re listening in now.” He stated with complete certainty one day. It wasn’t a question and you were sure there was no way of denying it. 

“They have my lines tapped. They tried tracing your calls but they can’t link you to any one place,” You’d answered truthfully before hesitantly asking your next question. “Does that make you upset?”

- He took a long pause before he replied. “You’ll have to do more than that to upset me, y/n. You said it yourself: all they’re doing now is listening in like the rest of your audience. They might as well be sat in their cars.”

“I guess you're right. …Is there anything you want to say to them?” 

“I don’t want to talk to them. I want to talk to you. I tried with them, but it didn't work: they didn’t get me like you do. You’re the one who understands me, who sees me. We used to have such great conversations. ...You talk differently now. I liked us better before they got to you.” Us. You weren’t sure how to feel about that one.

- Some days he’d make conversation like normal, tease the police with useless small talk, call just to check in and see how you were doing. Other days he’d spill clues: have the police rush to investigate, have them form a massive swat team just to find another cadaver and get no closer to finding him than they had before. Whenever they tried to talk to him themselves; trying to reason with him or angrily cursing at him in frustration, they’d be met with an empty line or a passive aggressive reminder that he called to talk to you, not them.

“Did you sleep well?” He’d asked one day, curious yet casual.

“I slept fine. Why?”

“No reason. …You just look a little tired lately.”

- The comment made your heart sink, body stiffening in your seat as your eyes shot over to the police man who was stationed in the room with you, finding his eyes already on you. You struggled to respond, your tongue feeling heavy and dry in your mouth as you tried to form words with it. "You've seen me.”

"I see you a lot." He answered, as if it was the easiest thing in the word to admit.

"When?" 

"Whenever I can." 

"Why?" You couldn't come up with anything else, floundering at this new piece of information. 

"Because you're nice to look at." You faltered, unsure of what to say. He hung up after a moment of silence.

- Then came the call that changed everything....

"Hi, it's me." You nearly dropped the phone. Your home phone.

"How do you know my number?"

"I know a lot of things about you.” He answered casually, almost teasing, you could practically hear the smile in his voice. 

"Yeah? So what's my roommate's name?" You wanted to call his bluff, wanted to deter him a little with the promise of someone else living in the same house as you— being there to protect you from him if it really came down to it. 

“Oh come on, y/n. Really?” You didn’t like the amusement in his tone.

“What is it?” You insisted. 

- He paused before speaking, a heavy beat of silence that felt far longer than it actually was. "You don't have one.”

"Why are you calling?" You attempted to steel yourself, trying to keep a level tone and calm your shaking hands. 

"I wanted to talk to you."

"We spoke last night." You reminded as if he could have actually forgotten. 

"I wanted to speak to you in private." He clarified and it made your chest tighten.

"Why?" You asked, though he ultimately ignored the question. 

“You never told me you had a boyfriend. In all our times of talking, you never brought it up.” His voice was more serious now, taking on a sort of grave tone which was rare for him. No longer his chipper, sometimes taunting self. 

“I didn’t?” You replied, trying your best to remain calm. Your question wasn’t too far off from what you were thinking: out of all the times you’d spoken; especially before he let his real self shine through, you would have imagined bringing up your significant other at least once.

“No,” He insisted, pausing before continuing. “I don’t really know what you see in him.” 

- You’re not sure how to reply, and so you don't, waiting for him to continue, knowing he will. “What does he think of all this?”

“I think you already know.”

“You’re right. He doesn’t like it, though that's when he’s actually around to talk to you. He doesn’t make a lot of time for you, does he? I wonder why he even cares if you continue helping the police, continue talking to me, it’s not like he’s doing much to protect you anyway.”

“He’s a busy guy.” The words feel alien, strange on your tongue. The concept of verbally defending your boyfriend to a serial killer is almost comedic. 

“So am I. I still make time for you.”

“Why do you?” 

“I’ve told you before.”

“Tell me again.”

“Because we understand each other. Because you were the only person I had, and even while being in a relationship, I was the only person you had too.… Your boyfriend might as well have been a ghost: never there but never fully leaving. He's just a namesake, you’re better off without him. At least then you'll be fully free.”

- You didn't speak for a long moment, taking in his words. “Thank you.” You hesitantly responded.

“Hmm?” 

“Thank you for being there.” You don’t know why you said it. 

“Break up with your boyfriend.” His voice was quiet but there was something deeply commanding in it, something your words seemed to have awakened. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak.

“Break up with him.” He repeated after a moment of silence.

“I can't do that.”

"Yes you can, you can and you will. Break up with him or I'll get rid of him myself."

“I thought you didn't kill men.”

“I don't, but I'll do it for us. I'll do it just to make sure he's out of your life.”

“Why?”

“Isn't it obvious?” 

“I want you to say it.”

“Not yet,” He replied, pausing momentarily, hanging onto the silence that formed in both your voices absences, savoring the connection between the two of you. “Goodnight y/n.”

- You don’t tell the police he called. You don’t know why. 

- It eats you up inside, and yet, you still can’t bring yourself to do it. You keep it to yourself and let it consume your thoughts, uncertainty riddling your mind. When he asks if you told anyone, you answer truthfully. When he asks if you will, you tell him you won’t. You don’t know why you do.

- He calls you at home in the early mornings. He tells you things he doesn’t say in front of the police: not things that would help them but nothing entirely innocent either. Most of the time he talks about you: about the way you look, about your day, about your connection and the things he likes about you. When he calls into the radio show, he acts as if the calls never take place, as if all the communication you have is inside that room and that you won’t be talking mere hours later while the officers are at the precinct without a clue.

- It becomes obvious that his fascination with you isn't entirely platonic, that he believes there's a deeper connection between the two of you that's brewing beneath the surface. He never outright tells you how he feels, never tells you that he loves you, but he gives you hints. When you break up with your boyfriend, tears falling from your eyes just as the phone begins to ring, he praises you and tells you that it’ll only bring you closer. He can't imagine the inner turmoil that those words bring to you.

"I want to meet you." You tell him one night. Decided.

“We already have.” He replies, referencing the times he's recalled seeing you in person, interacting with you without you even knowing.

“Not like that. I wanna see you. I wanna talk to you.” You insist.

“We’re talking now.”

“I wanna touch you.” The words come out of your mouth as if your voice doesn’t belong to you. It’s late at night, you're lonely, you don’t know why you say it.

- He’s silent for a long moment, and for some reason, you worry that you’ve scared him off, as if that's not something you should pray for and rejoice about.

“How?” He finally speaks and you know right then and there that those words were your golden ticket. His voice is deep with something and it sends a chill down your spine.

“I don’t know," You answer truthfully, faltering. "I just want to feel you, to make sure you’re real, to feel something solid, something that doesn’t disappear.”

“I want you to see me. I think about it all the time.” He comments, taking in your own vulnerable admission and giving one of his own. He trails off for a few moments before he finally speaks again, giving you an address and a time before he hangs up without another word.

- In a moment of clarity, you finally tell the police, feeling as though you’re going insane. You lie about everything else but you give them that, scared of being arrested for keeping away what they might consider crucial information. 

- The police swarm the area but they never find him and you return home later that day, shivering with nerves and feeling as though you’re walking the plank; even as the officers with you insist that you’ll be fine and that they’ll be right outside your apartment in case anything were to happen to you. 

- You almost expect it when you turn around at the sound of your bedroom door shutting, when you find him standing there, basked in the light of your apartment, far more handsome than you ever could have imagined. He stills under your gaze, shoulders squaring, standing tall as you take him in; seeming almost proud of himself. He doesn’t look particularly angry but his eyes bore into your own— as if he can read every thought you’ve ever had. It’s the most seen you’ve felt in a long time, as if you’re completely naked and vulnerable.

- When he walks closer, you’re certain he’s going to hurt you: that he’s going to kill you and instantly end whatever the two of you had after a taste of your betrayal. Instead, he grabs your face, shushing you as you try to explain why you did what you did, gazing into your eyes for a long moment, watching them shine with tears. All before he leans down and kisses you. 

- You don’t know why you kiss back….

[musickool]

𝔪𝔞𝒅𝔢 𝔦𝒏 𝒉𝔢𝒍𝒍

★ 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒊-𝒈𝒐𝒅 𝒗𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆!david griffin 𝑥 𝒂𝒃𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏!reader

𝐈.

vampire!david who whispers in your ear like the voice of Satan himself, chuckling right after under his baritone breath. he watches you squirm and tremble with fear as you lay helplessly on the ground like a lamb ready for slaughter; ripped up clothes, arms and legs tied up and chained to a wooden apparatus, body covered in bruises. vampire!david smirks devilishly, eyes demonic, reddishly dark and evil. his fangs are like sharp milky daggers, easy to cut and tear through the soft flesh of your pillowy mammal meat. the aura around him is so dooming and potent, you'd rather be dead. vampire!david gains closer and pecks a kiss to your virgin lips, raising his hands up to start aimlessly roaming his hand around body, whispering sinful nothings into your ear lewdly.

. . . .

vampire!david sinks his fangs into your neck, drawing out blood. you jolt up and scream, vision immediately fades to darkness, the environment around you rapidly becomes inaudible. he suckles and doggishly laps up every drop of scarlet fluid, lips stained and swollen. vampire!david closes his eyes in pure ecstasy, eyes rolled back as he moans and sadistically enjoys the sounds of you wailing, extracting every blood he can get. tears stream down your face violently, crying and screaming and shaking, from your bloodshot eyes to your scrunched up face. vampire!david simultaneously grabs your neck and pulls you closer, continuing the torment. he snaps your face towards him and doggishly makes out with you, snogging your face. the veins on his neck bulge as he passionately fights tongues with you, hands still touching your body. after a while, he releases and finally pulls back, revealing his face that is now messed up. his chest heavily heaves up and down, staring at you with that same wicked smile that paints on his face. vampire!david watches you as you slowly lose conscious, head jerking back and forth as your body starts to go cold. he lifts an index finger to place them on your lips, gently stroking them. the moments you think are your last, your eyes flutter repeatedly one last time, blink and blink again, before closing silently; lights out....

[musickool]

ain't no way....

i was literally maladaptively dreaming about something like this for david griffin and my female fictional character since last month, bruh wth?...

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

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[stranded-labyrinth]

given that hannibal fans have been talking recently about movies that have some hannibal vibes, i'd like to put forth a recommendation.

The Watcher (2000)

Joel Campell (James Spader): a sweaty, diabetic fbi agent that doesn't take care of himself beyond going to therapy.

David Allen Griffin (Keanu Reeves): a grungy, flirtatious, stalker serial killer who is desperate for the attention of the fbi agent when he's not too busy strangling random women with piano wire.

Polly (Marisa Tomei): a sweet yet professional therapist who cares about joel's well-being, and sheds a new light on things involving griffin.

the premise of the movie is that the case got to be too much for Joel, so he dropped it and moved from L.A. to Chicago just to get away from it. Griffin decidedly didn't like that, as things weren't fun without him, and chose to follow him, deciding to make things easier on the poor man by sending him a photo of his intended victim a day in advance.

essentially, imagine a movie in which Will was investigating The Chesapeake Ripper while never having actually met Hannibal before. the case becomes too much, Will moves away and starts therapy with Alana, and Hannibal follows. there's even someone in Jack Crawford's position, only a lot more forgiving toward the agent.

i'm fully willing to accept that it could just be me that sees the similar vibes, but i'd like to share regardless. the trailer's available on youtube still (but you have to add the 2000 or they'll think you mean the show)

[snailg0th]

here’s my giant leftist to-read list for the next few years!!!

if a little (done!) it written next to the book, it means i’ve finished it! i’m gonna try to update this as i read but no promises on remembering haha

Economics/Politics

Property by Karl Marx

Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx (done!)

Wages, Price, and Profit by Karl Marx (done!)

Wage-Labor and Capital by Karl Marx (done!)

Capital Volume I by Karl Marx

The 1844 Manuscripts by Karl Marx

Socialism: Utopian and Scientific by Fredrich Engles

Synopsis of Capital by Fredrich Engels

The Principles of Communism by Fredrich Engles

Imperialism, The Highest Stage Of Capitalism by Vladmir Lenin

The State And Revolution by Vladmir Lenin

The Revolution Betrayed by Leon Trotsky

Fascism: What is it and How to Fight it by Leon Trotsky

In Defense Of Marxism by Leon Trotsky

The Accumulation of Capital by Rosa Luxemborg

Reform or Revolution by Rosa Luxemburg

Discipline and Punish by Michel Foucault

The Conquest of Bread by Peter Kropotkin

On Anarchism by Noam Chomsky

Profit over People by Noam Chomsky

An Introduction to Marxist Economic Theory by Ernest Mandel

The Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith

The Postmodern Condition by Jean François Lyotard

Capitalist Realism by Mark Fisher

The Socialist Reconstruction of Society by Daniel De Leon

Anarchism and Other Essays by Emma Goldman

Socialism Made Easy by James Connolly

Race

Biased: Uncover in the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do

Blindspot by Mahzarin R. Banaji

Racism Without Racists: Color-blind Racism And The Persistence Of Racial Inequality In America by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva

How To Be Less Stupid About Race: On Racism, White Supremacy And The Racial Divide by Crystal M. Flemming

This Book is Anti-Racist: 20 Lessons on How To Wake Up, Take Action, And Do The Work by Tiffany Jewell & Aurelia Durand

The Next American Revolution: Sustainable Activism For The Twenty-First Century by Grace Lee Boggs

Tell Me Who You Are by Winona Guo & Priya Vulchi

The Fire This Time: A New Generation Speaks About Race by Jesymn Ward

Class, Race, and Marxism by David R. Roediger

America for Americans: A History Of Xenophobia In The United States by Erica Lee

The Politics Of The Veil by Joan Wallach Scott

A Different Mirror A History Of Multicultural America by Ronald Takaki

A People’s History Of The United States by Howard Zinn

Black Theory

The Wretched Of The World by Frantz Fanon

Black Marxism by Cedric J Robinson

Malcolm X Speaks by Malcolm X

Women, Culture, and Politics by Angela Davis

Women, Race, & Class by Angela Davis (done!)

Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Davis (done!)

The Meaning of Freedom by Angela Davis

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Ain’t I A Woman? by Bell Hooks

Yearning by Bell Hooks

Dora Santana’s Works

An End To The Neglect Of The Problems Of The Negro Women by Claudia Jones

I Am Your Sister by Audre Lorde

Women’s Liberation And The African Freedom Struggle by Thomas Sankara

W.E.B. DuBois Essay Collection

Black Reconstruction by W.E.B. DuBois

Lynch Law by Ida B. Wells

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

Sula by Toni Morrison

Song Of Solomon by Toni Morrison

Beloved by Toni Morrison

Paradise by Toni Morrison

A Mercy by Toni Morrison

This Bridge Called My Back by Cherríe Moraga

Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander

Black Feminist Thought by Patricia Hill Collins

Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower by Dr. Brittney Cooper

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

Black Skins, White Masks and The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon

Killing of the Black Body

Revolutionary Suicide by Huey P Newton

Settlers; The myth of the White Proletariat

Fearing The Black Body; The Racial Origins of Fatphobia

Freedom Dreams; The Black Radical Imagination

How Capitalism Underdeveloped Black America

How Europe Underdeveloped Africa

An Argument For Black Women’s Liberation As a Revolutionary Force by Mary Anne Weathers

Voices of Feminism Oral History Project by Frances Beal

Ghosts In The Schoolyard: Racism And School Closings On Chicago’s South Side by Eve L. Ewing

Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon To White America by Michael Eric Dyson

Why We Can’t Wait by Martin Luther King, Jr.

Fatal Invention: How Science, Politics, Big Business, Re-create Race In The 21st Century by Dorothy Roberts

We Gon’ Be Alright: Notes on Race & Resegregation by Jeff Chang

They Can’t Kill Us All: Ferguson, Baltimore, and a New Era In America’s Racial Justice Movement by Wesley Lowery

The Common Wind by Julius S. Scott

Black Is The Body: Stories From My Grandmother’s Time, My Mother’s Time, And Mine by Emily Bernard

We Were Eight Years In Power: An American Tragedy by Ta-Nehisi Coates

American Lynching by Ashraf H. A. Rushdy

Raising Our Hands by Jenna Arnold

Redefining Realness by Janet Mock

When Affirmative Action Was White: An Untold History of Racial Inequality in Twentieth-Century America by Ira Katznelson

Whistling Vivaldi: How Stereotypes Affects Us and What We Can Do

Citizen: An American Lyric by Claudia Rankine

Left of Karl Marx: The Political Life Of Black Communist Claudia Jones by Carole Boyce Davies

Black Studies Manifesto by Darlene Clark

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

The Souls Of Black Folk by W.E.B. Du Bois

Darkwater by W.E.B. Du Bois

The Education Of Blacks In The South, 1860-1935 by James D. Anderson

The Half Has Never Been Told: Slavery And The Making Of American Capitalism by Edward E. Baptist

The Color Of Money: Black Banks And The Racial Wealth Gap by Mehrsa Baradaran

A Black Women’s History Of The United States by Daina Ramey Berry & Kali Nicole Gross

The Price For Their Pound Of Flesh: The Value Of The Enslaved, From Womb to Grave, In The Building Of A Nation by Daina Ramey Berry

North Of Slavery: The Negro In The Free States, 1780-1869 by Leon F. Litwack

Black Stats: African Americans By The Numbers In The Twenty-First Century by Monique M. Morris

Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools by Monique M. Morris

40 Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall, And Redemption of The Black Athlete by William C. Rhoden

From #BlackLivesMatter To Black Liberation by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor

A More Beautiful And Terrible History: The Uses And Misuses Of Civil Rights History by Jeanne Theoharis

Medical Apartheid: The Dark History Of Medical Experimentation On Black Americans From Colonial Times To The Present by Harriet A. Washington

Working At The Intersections: A Black Feminist Disability Framework” by Moya Bailey

Theory by Dionne Brand

Black Women, Writing, And Identity by Carole Boyce Davies

Slavery By Another Name: The Re-enslavement Of Black Americans From The Civil War To World War II by Douglass A. Blackmon

Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

Some Of Us Are Very Hungry Now by Andre Perry

The Origins Of The Urban Crisis: Race and Inequality In Postwar Detroit by Thomas Surgue

They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us by Hanif Abdurraqib

Beyond Containment: Autobiographical Reflections, Essays and Poems by Claudia Jones

The Black Woman: An Anthology by Toni McCade

Double Jeopardy: To Be Black and Female by Frances Beal

How We Get Free: Black Feminism and the Combahee River Collective by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor

Indigenous Theory

Colonize This! by Daisy Hernandez and Bushra Rehman

As We Have Always Done

Braiding Sweetgrass

Spaces Between Us

The Sacred Hoop by Paula Gunn Allen

Native: Identity, Belonging, And Rediscovering God by Kaitlin Curtice

An Indigenous People’s History Of The United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

Why Indigenous Literatures Matter by Daniel Heath Justice

Highway of Tears: A True Story of Racism, Indifference, And The Pursuit Of Justice For Missing And Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls by Jessica McDiarmid

The Other Slavery by Andrés Reséndez

Seven Fallen Feathers by Tanya Talaga

All Our Relations: Indigenous Trauma In The Shadow Of Colonialism by Tanya Talaga

All Our Relations: Finding The Path Forward by Tanya Talaga

Everything You Wanted To Know About Indians But Were Afraid To Ask by Anton Treuer

Rez Life: An Indian’s Journey Through Reservation Life by David Treuer

Latine Theory

Borderlands/La Frontera by Gloria Anzaldúa

Open Veins of Latin America: Five Centuries of Pillage of A Continent by Eduardo Galeano

Inventing Latinos: A New Story of American Racism by Laura E. Gomez

De Colores Means All Of Us by Elizabeth Martinez

Middle Eastern And Muslim Theory

How Does It Feel To Be A Problem? Being Young And Arab In America by Moustafa Bayoumi

We Too Sing America: South Asian, Arab, Muslim, and Sikh Immigrants Shape Our Multiracial Future by Deepa Iyer

Alligator and Other Stories by Dima Alzayat

API Theory

Orientalism by Edward Said

The Making Of Asian America by Erika Lee

On Gold Mountain by Lisa See

Strangers From A Different Shore: A History of Asian Americans by Ronald Takaki

They Called Us Enemy (Graphic Novel) by George Takei

Yellow Peril!: An Archive of Anti-Asian Fear by Edited by John Kuo Wei Tchen and Dylan Yeats

Yellow: Race In America Beyond Black And White by Frank H. Wu

Alien Nation: Chinese Migration In The Americas From The Coolie Era Through World War II by Elliott Young

The Good Immigrants: How The Yellow Peril Became The Model Minorities by Madeline H. Ysu

Asian American Dreams: The Emergence Of An American People by Helen Zia

The Myth Of The Model Minority: Asian Americans Facing Racism by Rosalind S. Chou & Joe R. Feagin

Two Faces Of Exclusion: The Untold Story Of Anti-Asian Racism In The United States by Lon Kurashige

Whiteness

White Fragility by Robin Di Angelo (done!)

White Kids: Growing Up With Privilege In A Racially Divided America by Margaret A. Hagerman

Waking Up White by Deby Irving

The History of White People by Nell Irvin Painter

White Like Me: Reflections On Race From A Privileged Son by Tim Wise

White Rage by Carol Anderson

What Does It Mean To Be White: Developing White Racial Literacy by Robin DiAngelo

The Invention of The White Race: Volume 1: Racial Oppression and Social Control by Theodore W. Allen

The Invention of The White Race: Volume 2: The Origin of Racial Oppression in Anglo-America by Theodore W. Allen

Immigration

Call Me American by Abdi Nor Iftir

Create Dangerously: The Immigrant Artist At Work by Edwidge Danticat

My Family Divided by Diane Guerrero

The Devil’s Highway: A True Story by Luis Alberto Urrea

The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

Enrique’s Journey by Sonia Nazario

Tell Me How It Ends: An Essay In Forty Questions by Valeria Luiselli

Voter Suppression

One Person, No Vote: How Voter Suppression Is Destroying Our Democracy by Carol Anderson

Give Us The Vote: The Modern Struggle For Voting Rights In America by Ari Berman

Prison Abolition And Police Violence

Abolition Democracy by Angela Davis

Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Davis

The Prison Industrial Complex by Angela Davis

Political Prisoners, Prisons, And Black Liberation by Angela Davis

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson (done!)

The End Of Policing by Alex S Vitale

Invisible No More: Police Violence Against Black Women and Women of Color by Andrea J. Ritchie

Choke Hold: Policing Black Men by Paul Butler

From The War On Poverty To The War On Crime: The Making Of Mass Incarceration In America by Elizabeth Hinton

Feminist Theory

The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

A Vindication of the Rights of Women by Mary Wollstonecraft

Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay

7 Feminist And Gender Theories

Race, Gender, And Class by Margaret L. Anderson

African Gender Studies by Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí

The Invention Of Women by Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí

What Gender Is Motherhood? by Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí

Feminism Without Borders: Decolonizing Theory, Practicing Solidarity by Chandra Talpade Mohanty

I Am Malala by Malala Youssef

LGBT Theory

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler

Performative Acts and Gender Constitution by Judith Butler

Imitation and Gender Insubordination by Judith Butler

Bodies That Matter by Judith Butler

Excitable Speech by Judith Butler

Undoing Gender by Judith Butler

The Roots Of Lesbian And Gay Opression: A Marxist View by Bob McCubbin

Compulsory Heterosexuality And Lesbian Existence by Adrienne Rich

Decolonizing Trans/Gender 101 by B. Binohan

Gay.Inc: The Nonprofitization of Queer Politics by Merl Beam

Pronouns Good or Bad: Attitudes and Relationships with Gendered Pronouns

Transgender Warriors

Whipping Girl; A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity

Stone Butch Blues by Lesie Feinberg (done!)

The Stonewall Reader by Edmund White

Sissy by Jacob Tobia

Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein

Butch Queens Up In Pumps by Marlon M. Bailey

Black On Both Sides: A Racial History Of Trans Identities by C Riley Snorton

Go Tell It On The Mountain by James Baldwin

Ezili’s Mirrors: Imagining Black Queer Genders by Omise’eke Natasha Tinsley

Lavender and Red by Emily K. Hobson

[the-daily-multi-fandom-post]

Kinda sorta master list:

-Request-options:-

So I haven’t been able to write for a couple of weeks. I couldn’t find my computer charger then my computer deleted all my drafts I had for when I was ready to post.

So I’m asking if y’all have any request if you want you can send them in or message me with your request!!

I love every single one of you. Keep your head up while all this stuff is going on in the world.

Directions:

If you love one of these fandoms/ characters then dont be shy and send me a request with your character(s)! When I am sent a request I try to post at least a day or two after receiving the request. Thank you to all who request fics/imagines.

Supernatural:

Sam Winchester

Dean winchester

Castiel

Crowley

Gabriel

Balthazar

Criminal minds:

Spencer Reid

Aaron hotchner

Derek Morgan

The walking dead:

Paul Rovia (Jesus)

Rick grimes

Daryl Dixon

Shane Walsh

Glenn Rhee

Negan

Carl grimes

Aaron

Ezekiel

Abraham ford

The avengers/marvel characters:

Steve Rogers / captain America

James Barnes- Bucky Barnes/ the winter soldier

Tony stark / iron man

Bruce banner/ the hulk

Thor odinson / god of lightning

Loki / god of mischief

Natasha romanoff / black widow

Clint Barton / Hawkeye

Sam Wilson / the falcon

James Rhodes / war machine

Peter Parker / spider-man

Vison

Thanos

Peter quill / star lord

Dead pool

Pietro maximoff / quick silver

Wanda maximoff / scarlet witch

T’challa / black panther

Scott Lang / ant-man

Groot

Nick fury

Gamora

Drax the destroyer

Rocket raccoon

Phil coulson

Agent hill

Justice league:

Super man / Clark Kent

Batman / Bruce wane

Wonder Woman / Dina prince

Flash / Barry Allen

Aqua man / Authur Curry

Cyborg / victor stone

The maze runner series:

Thomas

Newt

Minho

Gally

Frypan

Chuck

Tressa

The vampire diaries:

Damon Salvatore

Stefan Salvatore

Enzo st.John

Jeremy Gilbert

Kai Parker

Matt Donovan

Tyler Lockwood

Alaric saltzman

Silas

The originals:

Klaus mikaelson

Elijah mikaelson

Marcel Gerard

Kol mikaelson

Finn mikaelson

Vincent Griffin

Jackson Kenner

Josh Rosza

Declan

Roman

Thierry

Fast and the furious

Dominic Toretto

Brian O’Connor

Han

Letty

Mia Toretto

Deckard Shaw

Sean Boswell

Luke Hobbs

Roman pierce

Tej Parker

Harry potters series:

Harry Potter

Draco Malfoy

Ron weasley

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Severus snape

Hagrid

Sirius black

Remus Lupin

Once Upon a time:

Captain Hook

Mr. Gold

Henry mills

David Nolan

Hunger games:

Peeta Mellark

Katnis Everdeen

Gale Hawthorne

Hamitch

Cato

Cinna

Finnick Odair

Sucide squad:

Joker

Dead shot /

Rick flag

Killer croc

El diablo

Captain boomerang

Youtubers:

Colby Brock

Sam Golbach

Corey schere

Mr. beast

Brennan Taylor

The Dolan twins

(Feel free to reblog)!

6-28-20

[pbwsports]

The all-time starting five for every NBA Western Conference team

What if the Splash Bros. had Wilt Chamberlain playing center? How many titles would the Lakers have won if Magic Johnson was running the break with Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal? Imagine Hakeem Olajuwon and James Hardenteaming up in Clutch City.

We asked our NBA writers to come up with an all-time starting five for every current NBA franchise, along with one additional blast from the past. Only a player's contributions during his time with that franchise were considered. (So, no, LeBron James doesn't crack the Lakers' all-time list ... yet.)

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In this era of "positionless" basketball, traditional positions don't matter quite as much as they used to, so we allowed some flexibility in choosing a lineup -- but you won't see teams with four centers or three point guards. The idea was to dive into each team's history and create a group that could at least potentially share the floor together.

We rolled out the Eastern Conference on Wednesday. Here is the Western Conference:

Dallas Mavericks

G: Derek Harper G: Jason Terry G: Rolando Blackman F: Mark Aguirre F: Dirk Nowitzki

Terry joins Nowitzki as the only players on both of the Mavs' Finals teams and was the second-leading scorer on both squads. There's a reason Harper and Blackman, the backcourt for some good teams that just couldn't get past the Showtime Lakers, have their numbers in the American Airlines Center rafters. Aguirre's jersey probably won't ever be retired in Dallas because of his bitter departure, but you can't dismiss his 24.6 points per game in eight seasons with the Mavs.

The toughest cuts: Michael Finley and Jason Kidd, one of whom helped a young German kid find his way in the NBA and the other who helped Nowitzki finally deliver a title to Dallas.

-- Tim MacMahon

Denver Nuggets

G: Fat Lever G: David Thompson F: Alex English F: Carmelo Anthony C: Dikembe Mutombo

You're probably asking yourself the same question I debated for roughly 48 hours: Wait, no Nikola Jokic? There's a good chance Jokic eventually becomes the greatest player in franchise history, but he's just 25 years old.

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Mutombo, on the other hand, is a Hall of Famer and produced probably the most iconic image in franchise history, celebrating the historic upset of the top-seeded Seattle SuperSonics in the 1994 playoffs. Mutombo is the defensive anchor behind a pure scoring lineup that could outgun just about anybody.

English, Anthony and Thompson all averaged better than 20 points a game for their careers, but at their peaks were pushing 30 PPG. Add in a floor general like Lafayette "Fat" Lever to pull the strings, and it could work. Between Fat, Melo and Dikembe, the Nuggets can outname just about anybody, too.

-- Royce Young

Golden State Warriors

G: Stephen Curry G: Klay Thompson F: Kevin Durant F: Draymond Green C: Wilt Chamberlain

Adding Chamberlain to the Durant-era Warriors teams that won back-to-back titles would just be unfair. Can you even imagine how dominant that team would be? Curry, Thompson, Durant and Green already have won titles together -- and now they have one of the greatest big men of all time to drop the ball to down low? Unbelievable. The defense is great, the offense is otherworldly.

It's tough leaving Hall of Famers Rick Barry and Chris Mullin out of this group, but who would come out? Curry and Thompson form the best shooting backcourt of all time. Durant is one of the best players of his generation and Green provides the defensive intensity and glue that has propelled them for years -- plus those four already have played together. There is no stopping this team. A juggernaut for the ages.

-- Nick Friedell

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Houston Rockets

G: James Harden G: Calvin Murphy F: Tracy McGrady F: Rudy Tomjanovich C: Hakeem Olajuwon

Apologies to Hall of Fame big men Elvin Hayes, Moses Malone and Yao Ming, but it's hard to get one center in the Houston lineup these days. Of course, there's no debate about the candidacy of Olajuwon, who remains the best player in franchise history, even after Harden's run of historic offensive production.

Harden is 22 points away from passing Murphy for second on the Rockets' career scoring list, so for now the flamboyant, 5-foot-9 Murphy continues to be the only player who ranks among the franchise's top two in points and assists.

Rudy T is best remembered as the Clutch City-era coach and for the brutal punch that interrupted his playing career, but he earned his spot here with five All-Star appearances during a career spent entirely in a Rockets uniform.

-- MacMahon

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LA Clippers

G: Chris Paul F: Kawhi Leonard F: Blake Griffin F: Elton Brand C: Bob McAdoo

Paul and Griffin authored the greatest and most exciting era in Clippers basketball with Lob City. Paul spent six seasons with the Clips, was first-team All-NBA three times and led the league in assists twice during that span. Griffin was Rookie of the Year, a five-time All-Star and the exciting, above-the-rim player the franchise sorely needed.

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Brand spent seven seasons with the team and made both of his All-Star appearances as a Clipper. McAdoo started his Hall of Fame career when the franchise was in Buffalo, where he led the league in scoring three straight seasons and was MVP in 1974-75.

Leonard is just 51 games into his Clippers tenure, but his elite production already puts him on this roster. Averaging 26.9 points, 7.3 rebounds and 5.0 assists, a healthy Leonard can further validate this choice if he can get the Clippers to the conference finals for the first time.

-- Ohm Youngmisuk

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Los Angeles Lakers

G: Magic Johnson G: Jerry West G: Kobe Bryant F: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar C: Shaquille O'Neal

Four of these picks were no-brainers. Johnson (fifth in career assists) teamed up with Abdul-Jabbar, the NBA's career scoring leader, to win five championships. Bryant (fourth all time in scoring) paired with O'Neal (eighth in scoring) to win three.

The fifth pick was harder. Is it Elgin Baylor, the greatest small forward in franchise history? Or how about LeBron James, the greatest small forward in NBA history? How about James Worthy, who teamed up with Magic and Kareem and won a Finals MVP?

Ultimately, the pick is West. Baylor never won a ring. James hasn't been a Laker long enough. Worthy would have to play the 4 and you already have Shaq and the Captain on the blocks. The Logo brings shooting and toughness and leadership, and he is extremely important to the franchise as a whole for his post-playing days in the front office.

-- Dave McMenamin

Memphis Grizzlies

G: Mike Conley G: Tony Allen F: Shareef Abdur-Rahim F: Zach Randolph C: Marc Gasol

The question with the Grizzlies: Who should be the final player to fill out a lineup that features the Grit 'n' Grind mainstays called the Core Four? (I'd make a joke about Chandler Parsons' max contract, but I want to be welcomed back to Memphis.)

Based purely on merit, Pau Gasol would be the pick, but he doesn't fit alongside his brother Marc at center and Randolph at power forward. So we will go with Abdur-Rahim, who was a really good player for some really bad teams in Vancouver, averaging 20.8 points and 8.2 rebounds per game over five seasons in which the Grizzlies went a combined 86-292.

-- MacMahon

Minnesota Timberwolves

G: Ricky Rubio G: Sam Cassell F: Kevin Garnett F: Kevin Love C: Karl-Anthony Towns

The three best players in franchise history just all happen to be big men: Garnett, Love and Towns. Garnett is the franchise leader in points, rebounds, steals, assists and blocks; he's the only player in NBA history to lead a team in all five categories. Towns (22.7 points, 11.8 rebounds in 358 games) and Love (19.2 points, 12.2 rebounds in 364 games) each put up monster numbers, even though playoff success never came.

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(Side note: Towns is only 14 3-pointers away from becoming the franchise's all-time leader. Seriously.)

Rubio trails only Garnett in franchise history in steals and assists. Since Wally Szczerbiak and Andrew Wiggins were primarily listed as small forwards, the other guard spot goes to Cassell, who played only two years in Minnesota but had a career year and was a second-team All-NBA selection in 2003-04.

-- Andrew Lopez

New Orleans Pelicans

G: Chris Paul G: Jrue Holiday F: Jamal Mashburn F: David West C: Anthony Davis

(Just a reminder: The Pelicans' franchise history starts in 2002, when the team moved from Charlotte to New Orleans. Anything before that belongs to Charlotte, even though it's the same franchise. Got it? Cool, let's move on.)

First, the locks: Davis, Paul, Holiday and West. Now once you get to the wing ... oof. This spot came down to four players -- Mashburn, Peja Stojakovic, Eric Gordon and, yes, Brandon Ingram.

Mashburn, in the franchise's first season in New Orleans in 2002-03, made the All-Star team and was a third-team All-NBA selection. The Pelicans didn't get another All-Star selection from a wing player until this year, when Ingram made it. But with only 56 games under his belt, Ingram falls off this list. Gordon's time in New Orleans always seemed underwhelming. Stojakovic was a key cog on the 2007-08 team that won a franchise-best 56 games, but he struggled with injuries.

Mashburn was limited to 101 games for New Orleans, but his impact in Year 1 was unmistakable and he still sits second on the team's career scoring average list (21.5), behind only Davis.

-- Lopez

Oklahoma City Thunder

G: Russell Westbrook G: James Harden F: Kevin Durant F: Paul George F: Serge Ibaka

There's an irony to the Thunder's all-time starting five, because it features their best sixth man. The baggage of Harden's role looms large, whether he wanted to come off the bench, whether starting impacted his contract negotiations and ultimately facilitated the breakup of one of the greatest organically built superteams ever. That's a lot to unpack.

Hindsight and what-ifs aside, the Thunder's all-time group can stand with almost any in NBA history, and most certainly is among the most stout in the past 20 years. The Thunder have been around for just 12 years and boast a remarkable cupboard of talent: three MVPs (Durant, Westbrook, Harden) and piles of All-NBA and All-Star nods. Maybe one of the best examples of how deep they are is in showcasing who didn't make the cut: Carmelo Anthony and Chris Paul. Not a bad bench.

-- Young

Phoenix Suns

G: Steve Nash G: Kevin Johnson F: Walter Davis F: Charles Barkley C: Amar'e Stoudemire

No Shawn Marion? No Paul Westphal? No Alvan Adams? No Larry Nance? No Jason Kidd? You can make a solid starting five from the next group of Phoenix legends.

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The franchise's two MVP winners, Nash and Barkley, were locks. Westphal split time as a point guard and shooting guard during his six seasons, but we give the nod at the other guard spot to Johnson, who spent 12 years in Phoenix, and had three consecutive 20-point, 10-assist seasons and five All-NBA nods.

Davis vs. Marion was a tough battle. Both made a pair of All-NBA teams (two second-teams for Davis compared to two third-teams for Marion), but Davis gets the edge as the franchise's leading scorer. At center, Stoudemire stands supreme as his four All-NBA honors best Adams' longevity.

-- Lopez

Portland Trail Blazers

G: Damian Lillard G: Clyde Drexler G: Brandon Roy F: LaMarcus Aldridge C: Bill Walton

As with any conversation about Blazers history, their starting five comes with plenty of introspective sighing and deep what-iffing. Injuries to Walton and Roy abbreviated what would've been legendary Portland careers. But at their best versions, Walton was a transcendent big man with unique skills, and Roy was a gifted scorer with a knack for the moment.

Drexler is a Hall of Famer who led Portland to its best sustained run of success in franchise history. Aldridge is one of the dominant scoring big men of his era, and Lillard will likely go down as the franchise's all-time best. The Blazers are haunted by history and a compulsion to live in the anguish of what could've been, but there is also a beauty to their all-time five. It represents who they are, and forever, what they might've been.

-- Young

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Sacramento Kings

G: Oscar Robertson G: Tiny Archibald F: Peja Stojakovic F: Chris Webber C: Jerry Lucas

A Hall of Fame backcourt of Robertson and Archibald knocks Kings great Mitch Richmond out of one of the two guard spots. Lucas, another Hall of Famer, averaged 19.6 points and 19.1 rebounds in six seasons with the Cincinnati Royals. He gets the center position.

For the forwards, we look at two Kings from the early 2000s, when Sacramento was a perennial playoff team. Stojakovic is still the franchise's leader in 3-pointers made, and Webber averaged 23.5 points, 10.6 rebounds, 4.8 assists, 1.5 steals and 1.5 blocks in 377 career games in Sacramento.

It feels weird not to have DeMarcus Cousins on the all-time Kings squad, but when you look back at the franchise's history -- which dates back to the Rochester Royals and their first year in the NBA in 1949 -- it becomes clearer why he doesn't make the cut.

-- Lopez

San Antonio Spurs

G: Tony Parker G: Manu Ginobili F: George Gervin F: Tim Duncan C: David Robinson

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It took about as long as the average Gregg Popovich sideline interview to come up with this squad. These were all easy decisions, considering each player's combination of greatness and longevity with the Spurs. (Kawhi Leonard would have been in strong consideration if not for the lack of the latter.)

Duncan and Robinson are on the short list of MVPs who played their entire careers for one franchise. Ginobili and Parker were essential parts of a dynasty. Gervin was a must-see superstar whose presence made sure that pro basketball stuck in small-market San Antonio.

-- MacMahon

Seattle SuperSonics

G: Gary Payton G: Gus Williams F: Detlef Schrempf F: Shawn Kemp C: Jack Sikma

Payton, Kemp and Sikma, the three players to make at least five All-Star appearances in Sonics uniforms, are the three certain selections here. At the other guard spot, there are strong cases for Fred Brown (who's second in career scoring) and Ray Allen (a four-time All-Star in Seattle), but Gus Williams' key role in the Sonics' 1979 championship and pair of All-NBA picks give him the nod.

Spencer Haywood reached greater heights and Rashard Lewis had more longevity, but with the last spot I'm going with Schrempf, whose versatile and efficient game was ahead of its time in the 1990s.

-- Kevin Pelton

Utah Jazz

G: John Stockton G: Pete Maravich F: Adrian Dantley F: Karl Malone C: Rudy Gobert

The Jazz's arena is located at the intersection of Stockton and Malone, with statues of the legends prominently featured out front, so we figured those guys should make the cut. Dantley was a historically elite scorer for the Jazz, averaging 29.6 points on 56.2% shooting and winning a pair of NBA scoring titles during his seven-season tenure in Utah.

Gobert gets the nod over fellow dominant defensive anchor Mark Eaton because he's a far superior offensive player and rebounder. It was difficult not to include Darrell Griffith, aka "Dr. Dunkenstein," but Pistol Pete was too productive (25.7 points and 5.7 assists per game) with the New Orleans Jazz to be left out. Source - ESPN

[itsblosseybitch]

Griffin Dunne by Lynn Geller (INTERVIEW Magazine, May 1985)

At 29, Griffin Dunne has seen the movie business from many different perspectives. Born in New York City to Ellen Griffin Dunne and television producer-turned-writer Dominick Dunne, Griffin grew up in Los Angeles and is the nephew of Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne. Eleven years ago, he returned to Manhattan to pursue an acting career and, after roles in Off-Broadway plays, television, and “An American Werewolf in London,” teamed up with Amy Robinson and Mark Metcalf [misprinted with an e at the end] to produce the film “Chilly Scenes of Winter,” in which he had a small part. He and Amy went on to produce “Baby, It’s You” and, most recently, Martin Scorsese’s “After Hours,” starring producer Griffin Dunne in the male lead. As if this weren’t enough responsibility, the past year has also included acting roles in the films “Johnny Dangerously” and this spring’s “Almost You.” 

Looking remarkably fit for such a busy man, Griffin strode into the Lion’s Head in Manhattan only fifteen minutes late and carrying a briefcase full of future projects.

LYNN GELLER: You come from a literary family--your aunt, uncle and father are writers--were there any actors before your generation?

Griffin Dunne: Well, my mother was an actress until she had children, meaning me. I was the first. She was raised on a ranch in Nogales, Arizona, and my grandfather sent her to school in the East. My father was an actor then and he met her at a play. Actually, she hated being an actress.

LG: I didn’t know your father had been an actor.

GD: He wanted to be an actor before he became a producer. He was a stage manager and actor, studying with Stanford Meisner, who ran the Neighborhood Playhouse. Meisner told him he would never be a leading man because he was too short. When I say short, I mean my height, five-seven, five-eight. He left the profession because he wanted to be a leading man, not a character midget, or whatever he thought he would be. This was in the pre-Dustin Hoffman days. He became a stage manager for live TV, everything from Howdy Doody to Playhouse 90 in the ‘50s. When I was two, he got a job in L.A. and that’s where I was brought up. 

LG: Is that home?

GD: Well, yeah, home is where the mother is, but I’ve lived in New York for eleven years.

LG: Why did you move here--you went to school in the East?

GD: I went to boarding school in the East [more specifically, Fay School in Boston, Massachusetts, based on a New York Times article from the -late ‘90s and the Alumni page] , a pre-prep school that was very repressive. Coats and ties, whippings--if you ever saw the Lindsay Anderson movie If... you know what I’m talking about. You stay through eighth grade and then hopefully you graduate and go somewhere like Exeter and Andover. 

LG: Did you?

GD: My response was to get the hell away from the East Coast and go to a liberal arts school in Colorado called Fountain Valley.

LG: I know about that school. That was supposed to be a very wild place.

GD: Well, I was hoping it would be. It was wild in my wildest imagination. You could grow you hair as long as you wanted and you were allowed to smoke cigarettes. You could pretty much get away with anything, but I did manage to get myself kicked out.

LG: What did you do?

GD: I smoked dope and a teacher saw me through a window. The next night I was going to appear in Othello, and I never got to do the play. 

LG: So you were acting at an early age. Was that because of your parents?

GD: No. I was planning to be a writer. But a guy who taught acting talked me into auditioning for Zoo Story, the Edward Albee play. I got the part and that was the end of that.

LG: How old were you when you got kicked out?

GD: I was 17 and almost finished. They wouldn’t let me graduate, which was really depressing. It was more depressing that I didn’t get to play Iago. They felt that my performance would be tainted by the fact that I had been kicked out and I might be unduly rewarded by applause.

LG: What did you think you might do after that?

GD: Be an actor. I finally got some work. I was in a movie called The Other Side of the Mountain.

LG: Then you came to New York?

GD: No, then I got a job on a television series called Medical Story. I had about ten lines. I played a doctor, stuffing an IV in Linda Purl’s veins [misprinted as Linda Pearl] and answering Meredith Baxter Birney when she came in and said, “What’s the diagnosis, David?” I’d memorized the diagnosis, which was complicated medical jargon. 

LG: What did you use for inner motivation?

GD: My major motivation was to say the words correctly. I figured if I did it like a real scientist, I’d pull off a real character coup. Then right as we were about to roll, the medical adviser on the show came over and said that the diagnosis wasn’t accurate, we had to change the description. They changed the lines and every time we’d go for a take, I couldn’t remember the lines and I’d clam up. The director would go, “Cut. What’s your problem? What is your problem?” I said I needed five minutes, so he said, “Okay, five minutes, the kid’s got five minutes.” I went into a little room and I was so nervous about ruining my career that when I went to light a cigarette, I set my lip on fire. So when I went back to give the diagnosis I hadn’t memorized in the first place, I lisped. The director was furious. He said, “Cut. What’s the accent? Are you doing an accent on me?” Finally, the actress, Linda Purl, took out one of my pens in my top pocket and without me knowing it, she wrote out the diagnosis on her arm, where I was to insert the IV. So when they said, “Roll ‘em,” I had no idea at first what my line would be and then I looked down at her arm and there it was. It was very sweet of her.

[Based on the available information I have, the Medical Story episode that Griffin Dunne was on was titled “Up Against The World” or “Us Against The World” depending on what you check. The episode is said to have aired December 4th, 1975. All I could find on the show was a promo on YouTube.]

LG: You must have fallen in love.

GD: I did, but we never got to say goodbye. So I got the lines out, but what I realized from that experience was...nothing. Absolutely nothing, but to have a cigarette in your mouth when you go to light one. Shortly after that I moved to New York and signed up at the Neighborhood Playhouse.

LG: Because your father had gone there?

GD: I didn’t know he’d gone there until I was already in there and he told me the Stanford Meisner/leading man story.

LG: While you were studying acting, did you work as a waiter?

GD: Yes. At Beefsteak Charlie’s for a limited engagement. At Joe Allen once for two weeks. I lied and said I was experienced and I clearly wasn’t. That was enough to get me the job at Beefsteak’s. I hung in the longest there--they liked my work.

LG: Then you would go on auditions? Is that what you do when you’re a waiter/actor?

GD: When you’re a waiter/actor with no agent, you read Backstage and go out for plays that you never see in ads for openings. They never appear as productions. I went to an audition for an original play once, written and directed by a woman with a long Russian name. She thought I was perfect for the part. It was the first time a director said, “You are going to be great, you’re it.” She told all the other actors to go and took me out for coffee. I couldn’t believe my luck--I’d just arrived in New York. She took me out, we talked intensely, and at some point I realized she was stark raving mad. She had this long scarf that dragged behind her picking up dirt and pizza crust. I looked closely at her and realized she was a bag lady. I realized that anyone can hold an open casting call, a trick I haven’t really employed yet as a way to meet new and exciting people. 

LG: How much does it cost to take an ad out? As much as a bag lady collects in a day?

GD: No, these people weren’t quite bag. They have apartments and enough money to be able to decide, is it Safeway tonight or an ad in Backstage? At some point, they just cross that line. 

LG: How did you get involved in producing?

GD: Well, Amy Robinson, Mark Metcalf and I were unemployed actors hanging out together. We were working on the play Cowboy Mouth, which we were going to do for ourselves and hopefully get a production. That never happened, but the three of us had a lot of energy together. Eventually that translated into our trying to get a movie off the ground. Amy loved the book Chilly Scenes of Winter by Ann Beattie, and we agreed. That became our first project. We were all frustrated at being out-of-work actors. At the time I was working at Radio City Music Hall selling popcorn. I carried around a big set of keys as the manager of the popcorn concession. I wasn’t getting a lot of feedback on my work.  

LG: Had you ever thought of producing before?

GD: I never had dreams of producing, but I was with Amy and Mark and what we wanted to do was much closer to what I wanted to do than what I was doing. It felt as good as acting. 

LG: How did you end up doing Baby It’s You?

GD: I was in Poland acting in a TV movie called The Wall. Amy was talking about the idea for the film before I left. It was loosely based on her life, about a middle-class girl who gets involved with one of her classmates, a guy from the other side of the tracks. While I was away, she got John Sayles involved. We discussed it over the phone from Poland, the conversations closely monitored by the hotel staff. God knows what they made of it. But I didn’t have too much to do with development. 

LG: You mean in terms of the story?

GD: More in terms of getting the development deal at the studio. Amy and I have a very good relationship. We both rely on each other’s opinions and support. We were both line producers on the film. Our job was to keep things rolling and to make sure that John Sayles had everything he needed. 

LG: Are you good at that?

GD: Yes, to my surprise. I never considered myself much of an organizer, but it turns out I’m good with money and at getting along with people, making sure that everyone has what they need and keeping those needs within the budget. 

LG: Let’s talk about some of the films you’ve been acting in recently. Have you seen Almost You yet?

GD: Yes. I liked it. The characters were incredibly human and sympathetic. And screwed up. Not homicidal--but normal, confused human beings. My character in particular was a very confused fellow. 

LG: That was a movie where someone approached you with a script. What made you decide to take it on?

GD: Well, Adam Brooks, the director, had a script he’d been telling me about when he was a script supervisor on Baby It’s You. One day, when I was living in a beach house with Brooke Adams, he came up with the producer, Mark Lipson, and the script. We had a great day at the beach. Brooke cooked this great meal. After they left, we read the script and thought it was really charming, funny. Brooke and I wanted to work together and this seemed perfect. We said yes, thinking, this sweet little picture is never going to get made anyway, but, of course, we’ll do it if it does. Ha ha ha. All we did was say yes, and Mark and Adam took the ball and ran with it. The next thing I knew, we had a start date.

LG: What was the time lapse between those two events?

GD: Six months. It was shot in February. Very quick--I was pleasantly surprised. 

LG: But at this point you’re no longer living in that beach house? 

GD: Six months is also a very. very long time. A lot can happen in that time. Brooke and I aren’t living together anymore, nor were we when we did Almost You.

LG: Wasn’t that hard?

GD: It was interesting. We get along very well. We’re good friends, and we were very professional. I think we both dreaded the idea of letting the crew think there was something more to this than there was. 

LG: Do you think people see you as wearing two hats now, actor and producer?

GD: It’s hard to tell. I don’t really know. I have noticed that scripts that are submitted to Doubleplay Productions that have a character that is anywhere from 20 to 35, they say, “This would be a good part for you.” I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a lure. 

LG: Well, aren’t you looking for movies to produce that you can act in?

GD: Whatever movies Amy and I decide to do, it’s totally collaborative. I can see doing a movie that I would rather produce than act in, but it would have to be very special, like Chilly Scenes of Winter or Baby, It’s You. But doing After Hours revitalized my interest in acting, it really inspired me. So my dream is to be able to continue producing movies with Amy that I can act in.

[thecomedybureau]

As you might be aware, there is a gigantic list of categories for The Emmys, which has made the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences split up the ceremony into two separate weekends, the first of which is deemed the Creative Arts Emmy Awards. That covers the technical and smaller categories including short form, cinematography, and production design.

This year, Hannah Gadsby rightfully garners an Emmy for her writing on Nanette, Russian Doll and Marvelous Ms. Maisel nabbed many technical awards for their beautifully imagined universes, Fleabag was honored for its spot on casting, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend appropriately got honors for original music and choreography, The Simpsons still has staying power after all these years, and James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke has won the hearts and minds of America.

Also, Megan Amram is still without an Emmy for her An Emmy for Megan web series, which is a huge snub. Also, perhaps, it might be a way to force her to renew her own digital short form series, but she needs to, when all is said and done, win one for her genius satire that points an absurdist mirror at the entertainment biz.

Here are the rest of the comedy winners for The 2019 Creative Arts Emmys Awards:

Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program United Shades Of America With W. Kamau Bell CNN, NN Original Series, Main Event Media, All3Media America W. Kamau Bell, Executive Producer Jimmy Fox, Executive Producer Layla Smith, Executive Producer Tim Pastore, Executive Producer Justin Yungfleisch, Executive Producer Amy Entelis, Executive Producer Lizzie Fox, Executive Producer Lauren Thompson, Co-Executive Producer David E.J. Berger, Supervising Producer Dwayne Kennedy, Supervising Producer Geraldine L. Porras, Supervising Producer

Outstanding Short Form Variety Series Carpool Karaoke: The Series Apple Music, CBS Television Studios / Fulwell 73 Ben Winston, Executive Producer James Corden, Executive Producer Eric Pankowski, Executive Producer David Young, Supervising Producer Sheila Rogers, Supervising Producer Diana Miller, Producer

Outstanding Short Form Nonfiction or Reality Series Creating Saturday Night Live NBC (nbc.com), SNL Studios in association with Universal Television and Broadway Video Lorne Michaels, Executive Producer Oz Rodriguez, Co-Executive Producer Chris Voss, Co-Executive Producer Matt Yonks, Co-Executive Producer Michael Scogin, Supervising Producer Erin Doyle, Producer

Outstanding Variety Special (Live) Live In Front Of A Studio Audience: Norman Lear’s All In The Family And The Jeffersons ABC, Smoking Baby Productions, ACT III Productions, Gary Sanchez Productions, D’Arconville and Sony Pictures Television

Outstanding Variety Special (Pre-Recorded) Carpool Karaoke: When Corden Met McCartney Live From Liverpool CBS, CBS Television Studios / Fulwell 73

Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special Hannah Gadsby: Nanette Netflix, A Netflix Original Production Hannah Gadsby, Written by

Outstanding Animated Program The Simpsons, “Mad About The Toy” Fox, Gracie Films in association with 20th Century Fox Television

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, “Vote For Kennedy, Vote For Kennedy” Amazon Prime, Amazon Studios Jane Lynch as Sophie Lennon

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, “All Alone” Amazon Prime, Amazon Studios Luke Kirby as Lenny Bruce

Outstanding Character Voice-Over Performance Family Guy, “Con Heiress” Fox, 20th Century Fox Television Seth MacFarlane as Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Seamus

Outstanding Casting for a Comedy Series Fleabag Amazon Prime, All3Media International Limited and Amazon Studios Olivia Scott-Webb, Casting by

Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, “I Have To Get Out/Song Title: Antidepressants Are So Not A Big Deal” The CW, CBS Television Studios in association with Warner Bros. Television Adam Schlesinger, Music & Lyrics by Rachel Bloom, Music & Lyrics by Jack Dolgen, Lyrics by

Outstanding Picture Editing For Variety Programming Last Week Tonight With John Oliver, “The Wax & The Furious” (segment) HBO, HBO Entertainment in association with Sixteen String Jack Productions and Avalon Television Ryan Barger, Editor

Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing for a Comedy Series Fleabag, “Episode 1” Amazon Prime,  All3Media International Limited and Amazon Studios Gary Dollner, ACE, Editor

Outstanding Picture Editing for an Unstructured Reality Program United Shades Of America With W. Kamau Bell, “Hmong Americans And The Secret War” CNN, CNN Original Series, Main Event Media, All3Media America Alessandro Soares, Editor

Outstanding Multi-Camera Picture Editing for a Comedy Series One Day At A Time, “The Funeral” Netflix, Sony Pictures Television Pat Barnett, ACE, Editor

Outstanding Cinematography for a Multi-Camera Series The Ranch, “Reckless” Netflix, Ranch Hand Productions Donald A. Morgan, ASC, Director of Photography

Outstanding Cinematography for a Single-Camera Series (One Hour) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, “Simone” Amazon Prime, Amazon Studios M. David Mullen, ASC, Director of Photography

Outstanding Cinematography for a Single-Camera Series (Half-Hour) Russian Doll, “Ariadne” Netflix,  Universal Television in association with Jax Media, Paper Kite Productions, 3 Arts Entertainment, Shoot to Midnight, Avenue A Chris Teague, Director of Photography

Outstanding Motion Design (juried) Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj

Outstanding Technical Direction, Camerawork, Video Control for a Limited Series, Movie or Special The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special 2019 CBS, CBS Television Studios / Fulwell 73 Oleg Sekulovski, Technical Director Taylor Campanian, Video Control Joel Binger, Camera Jim Velarde, Camera Edward Nelson, Camera Mark McIntire, Camera Adam Margolis, Camera Jorge Farris, Camera Mike Jarocki, Camera Peter Hutchison, Camera Charlie Wupperman, Camera Joshua Gitersonke, Camera Ian McGlocklin, Camera Doug Longwill, Camera Josh Greenrock, Camera Trace Dantzig, Camera William O’Donnell, Camera Max Kerby, Camera Scott Acosta, Camera

Outstanding Technical Direction, Camerawork, Video Control for a Series Last Week Tonight With John Oliver, “Psychics” HBO, HBO Entertainment in association with Sixteen String Jack Productions and Avalon Television Dave Saretsky, Technical Director August Yuson, Senior Video Control John Harrison, Camera Dante Pagano, Camera Jake Hoover, Camera Phil Salanto, Camera

Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series (Half-Hour) And Animation Barry, “ronny/lily” HBO, HBO Entertainment in association with Alec Berg and Hanarply Elmo Ponsdomenech, CAS, Re-Recording Mixer Jason “Frenchie” Gaya, Re-Recording Mixer Aaron Hasson, ADR Mixer Benjamin Patrick, CAS, Production Mixer

Outstanding Choreography For Scripted Programming (Juried) Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – “Routines: Don’t Be a Lawyer, Antidepressants Are So Not a Big Deal” The CW Kathryn Burns, Choreographer

Outstanding Production Design for a Narrative Program (Half-Hour) Russian Doll, “Nothing In This World Is Easy” Netflix, Universal Television in association with Jax Media, Paper Kite Productions, 3 Arts Entertainment, Shoot to Midnight, Avenue A Michael Bricker, Production Designer John Cox, Art Director Jessica Petruccelli, Set Decorator

Outstanding Production Design For Variety, Reality or Competition Series Saturday Night Live, Host: John Mulaney, Host: Emma Stone NBC, SNL Studios in association with Universal Television and Broadway Video Eugene Lee, Production Designer Akira Yoshimura, Production Designer Keith Ian Raywood, Production Designer

Outstanding Lighting Design/Lighting Direction for a Variety Series Saturday Night Live, Host: John Mulaney NBC, SNL Studios in association with Universal Television and Broadway Video Richard McGuinness, Lighting Director Geoffrey Amoral, Lighting Director William McGuinness, Lighting Director Trevor Brown, Lighting Director Tim Stasse, Lighting Director

Outstanding Sound Editing for a Comedy or Drama Series (Half-Hour) And Animation Barry, “ronny/lily” HBO, HBO Entertainment in association with Alec Berg and Hanarply Matthew E. Taylor, Co-Supervising Sound Editor Sean Heissinger, Co-Supervising Sound Editor Rickley W. Dumm, MPSE, Sound Effects Editor Mark Allen, Sound Effects Editor John Creed, Dialogue Editor Harrison Meyle, Dialogue Editor Michael Brake, MPSE, Music Editor Clayton Weber, Foley Editor Alyson Dee Moore, Foley Artist Chris Moriana, Foley Artist

Outstanding Contemporary Costumes Russian Doll, “Superiority Complex” Netflix, Universal Television in association with Jax Media, Paper Kite Productions, 3 Arts Entertainment, Shoot to Midnight, Avenue A Jennifer Rogien, Costume Designer Charlotte Svenson, Assistant Costume Designer Melissa Stanton, Costume Supervisor

Outstanding Period Costumes The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, “We’re Going To The Catskills!” Amazon Prime, Amazon Studios Donna Zakowska, Costume Designer Marina Reti, Assistant Costume Designer Tim McKelvey, Costume Supervisor

Outstanding Hairstyling for a Single-Camera Series The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,  “We’re Going To The Catskills!” Amazon Prime, Amazon Studios Jerry DeCarlo, Department Head Hairstylist Jon Jordan, Key Hairstylist Peg Schierholz, Personal Hairstylist Christine Cantrell, Hairstylist Sabana Majeed, Hairstylist

Outstanding Makeup for a Multi-Camera Series or Special (Non-Prosthetic) Saturday Night Live, Host: Adam Sandler NBC, SNL Studios in association with Universal Television and Broadway Video Louie Zakarian, Department Head Makeup Artist Amy Tagliamonti, Key Makeup Artist Jason Milani, Key Makeup Artist Rachel Pagani, Additional Makeup Artist Sarah Egan, Makeup Artist Young Beck, Makeup Artist

Outstanding Stunt Coordination for a Comedy Series or Variety Program GLOW Netflix, A Netflix Original Series in association with Tilted Productions Shauna Duggins, Stunt Coordinator

Outstanding Music Supervision The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, “We’re Going To The Catskills!” Amazon Prime, Amazon Studios Robin Urdang, Music Supervisor Amy Sherman-Palladino, Music Supervisor Daniel Palladino, Music Supervisor

For full list of 2019 Creative Arts Emmys Awards Winners, go here.

[junker-town]

The big winners and losers from Week 1 of the NFL preseason

The Browns’ QB situation looks pretty good — really! The 49ers’ injury report, less so.

The first night of league-wide preseason action is in the books, which included the debuts of Baker Mayfield, Josh Allen, Saquon Barkley, and much of the rest of the 2018 NFL rookie class.

There were a total of 12 games Thursday night, leaving four games left on the schedule for Friday and Saturday. On Thursday, the Browns extended their preseason winning streak to five with a 20-10 win over the Giants, and the Patriots overcame a 17-0 deficit to beat Washington, 26-17.

But scores don’t really matter in preseason. The real focus is on the players who made the most of their opportunities to impress and those who didn’t. Here’s who stood out to us — good and bad. We’ll keep the list updated throughout the weekend:

Winner: Andrew Luck is playing football again

Just stepping out on the football field was a win for Luck. But surprisingly, the Colts didn’t play it ultra conservative with the quarterback.

He didn’t throw deep or do anything reckless, but he played two drives and got plenty of reps, finishing his preseason debut against the Seahawks with six completions on nine attempts for 64 yards.

Andrew Luck leads 2 scoring drives in his 2018 preseason debut: https://t.co/vzGsiVsUYh pic.twitter.com/hID081w4Av

— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) August 10, 2018

We’ll need to see more before it’s safe to consider Luck an MVP candidate any time soon, but Thursday was a good sign that he’s on the right track. — Adam Stites

Winner: The Browns quarterback situation looks ... good?

Since the Browns have been reintroduced to the NFL, they’ve struggled mightily to find any semblance of competent quarterback play. If the first half of their preseason opener against the Giants is any indication, the Browns look to have two starting-caliber quarterbacks on their roster.

Tyrod Taylor, the incumbent starter, was flawless in his debut with the Browns. He played two drives and went 5 of 5 for 99 yards and a perfect touchdown throw to David Njoku.

TYGOD pic.twitter.com/AL4BG8sFce

— Ben Baldwin (@benbbaldwin) August 9, 2018

Taylor also had a dime on a comeback route to Jarvis Landry for a big gain. All in all, a perfect start for the former Bills quarterback.

JARVIS LANDRY IS GOOD @friscojosh pic.twitter.com/Kb7GV8NTVm

— Ben Baldwin (@benbbaldwin) August 9, 2018

Baker Mayfield had a fantastic debut for the Browns. He showed poise, accuracy, and good decision-making. Mayfield didn’t have the efficiency of Taylor, but he had a productive evening (11 of 20, 212 yards, two touchdowns) — including this strike to Antonio Callaway along the sideline.

One helluva play by Baker Mayfield. Wow. #Browns pic.twitter.com/KTDTQEkFeK

— Jordan Schultz (@Schultz_Report) August 10, 2018

This is the best quarterback situation the Browns have had in very, very long time. If these two can continue their play into the regular season, it just might be the Browns’ year after all. — Charles McDonald

Loser: Sean Mannion, yikes

It was pretty obvious the Rams didn’t see Sean Mannion as their quarterback of the future considering they spent the first overall pick on Jared Goff the year after selecting Mannion. Still, it’s hard to imagine a worse performance than the one Mannion just delivered, especially in a preseason game.

Mannion completed 3 of 13 passes for 16 yards, tossed one interception, and took two sacks for 13 lost yards. Yikes!

A deeper breakdown of Mannion’s numbers showed how hilariously bad he was in the preseason opener.

have a day, sean mannion pic.twitter.com/I7WefWfzGy

— charles mcdonald (lakers 0-0) (@FourVerts) August 10, 2018

(If you don’t know what some of these abbreviations stand for, check out the Pro Football Reference glossary.)

With Brandon Allen playing solid in limited action, Mannion’s roster spot legitimately might be up for grabs.— Charles McDonald

Winner: Lamar Jackson’s ankle-breaking ability

His Hall of Fame Game debut was pretty forgettable, but on Thursday night Jackson looked more like the Heisman Trophy winner the Ravens expected to get when they drafted him in the first round.

He completed just seven of his 18 passes, but looked deep a few times and showed his unique skill set when he broke the ankles of two Rams defenders on his way into the end zone.

lamar jackson is making players kneel mid-game. a true patriot pic.twitter.com/PCrvtk8Oao

— Harry Lyles Jr. (@harrylylesjr) August 10, 2018

The path to supplant Joe Flacco is still a long one for Jackson, but more plays like that and his 36-yard pass to Chris Moore is a good start. — Adam Stites

Loser: The 49ers’ injury report

There’s really just two goals of preseason:

Get ready for the regular season

Don’t get hurt

The 49ers really didn’t have much luck with the latter, racking up several injuries early in their game against the Cowboys:

#49rs injury roundup: Possible concussions: Solomon Thomas, Garry Gilliam Shoulder injuries: George Kittle, Matt Breida (Breida's does not appear to be serious) Hamstring: Malcolm Smith.

— Matt Barrows (@mattbarrows) August 10, 2018

Add a sixth player — and fourth starter — to the 49ers’ injury list. Shanahan said Eli Harold suffered a lower leg injury and had to come out of the game.

— Matt Barrows (@mattbarrows) August 10, 2018

That’s not ideal. — Adam Stites

Winner: The Steelers’ celebrations are back

Antonio Brown stayed on the sideline all night, but the Steelers’ celebration game didn’t miss a beat.

Juju Smith-Schuster — no stranger to creative celebrations — put on a show, first by Mossing Eagles corner Rasul Douglas and then punctuating it in the end zone by ... eating the ball? (idk, please don’t own me, youths):

Need Everything!!!! pic.twitter.com/V464jb9WVb

— JuJu Smith-Schuster (@TeamJuJu) August 10, 2018

But another receiver managed to upstage Smith-Schuster. Damoun Patterson made a terrific snag, topped only by his freakin’ backflip after:

Great touchdown catch by #Steelers Damoun Patterson from Dobbs.pic.twitter.com/fljVNVZ8Ff

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) August 10, 2018

Patterson’s battling for a roster spot, but he certainly looked like he belonged on the Steelers Thursday night — and not just because he led the team in receiving with six catches for 77 yards. — Sarah Hardy

Loser: Josh Allen’s blooper

The Bills’ first-round pick wasn’t that bad Thursday night. He showed some wheels and his big arm on a couple plays in his preseason debut.

The problem is that there’s a three-way battle for the starting job in Buffalo and the rookie was clearly the third best against the Panthers. Nathan Peterman finished his night with nine completions on 10 attempts for 119 yards with a touchdown, and AJ McCarron completed seven of his 10 throws for 116 yards.

Allen completed just nine of his 19 passes and had the blooper of the night when he ran backward 18 yards and hurled the ball like a grenade into traffic.

Lmaooo. This is the FULL JOSH ALLEN EXPERIENCE pic.twitter.com/lLFuonQUMI

— Billy Marshall (@BillyM_91) August 10, 2018

That’s not the best first impression. — Adam Stites

Winner: Cowboys receivers post-Dez Bryant

Dallas didn’t do much to help Dak Prescott following the retirement of Jason Witten and release of Dez Bryant, but the Cowboys’ young group of unheralded receivers got off to a good start Thursday.

Rookie third-round pick Michael Gallup took just a few minutes to show how he fits, hauling in a 30-yard touchdown from Prescott in the first quarter:

Michael Gallup's first catch (preseason) as a member of the Cowboys. : @NFL pic.twitter.com/Ia2kILKRSh

— Blogging The Boys (@BloggingTheBoys) August 10, 2018

Among those impressed with Gallup’s debut was the man who wore the shoes he’s trying to fill:

I like him https://t.co/eB5CPIcjT5

— Dez Bryant (@DezBryant) August 10, 2018

Later in the game, second-year receiver Lance Lenoir who spent most of 2017 on the Cowboys’ practice squad showed what he’s got too:

Touchdown, Lance Lenoir! : @NFL pic.twitter.com/dOJYkNKBDp

— Blogging The Boys (@BloggingTheBoys) August 10, 2018

The Cowboys will likely heavily lean on Ezekiel Elliott and the run game in 2018, but it’s a good sign that the young receivers are shining early in preseason. — Adam Stites

Winner: Shaquem Griffin

The fifth-round rookie linebacker has taken some first-team reps in practice for the Seahawks while K.J. Wright deals with a nagging hamstring injury. While he didn’t get the start Thursday, Griffin looked good when he stepped into action.

On his first drive of the game, Griffin made tackles on four consecutive snaps and ended up as the game’s leading tackler, with nine tackles including a TFL.

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll was among those who came away impressed.

Pete Carroll “yeah, really fired up” about rookie LB Shaquem Griffin’s debut. “This is what he looks like in practice....he’s a weapon (with his speed). We are really fired up.” #Seahawks pic.twitter.com/JGkeJlXuvL

— Gregg Bell (@gbellseattle) August 10, 2018

Early in the second half, Griffin knifed through the Colts offensive line to stuff a run play for a loss. It was the first game in a long time that Griffin played as a teammate of his twin brother, Shaquill Griffin, and he looked like he definitely belonged as a member of the Seahawks defense. — Adam Stites

Loser: The Bucs’ kicker curse makes an appearance

The Buccaneers — the same team that traded UP to draft a kicker in the second round, only to cut him a year later, never forget— have not had good kicking luck lately, to put it mildly. They cycled through eight different kickers in nine seasons and then hoped they had solved their kicking woes this offseason when they signed former Cardinals and Jets kicker Chandler Catanzaro.

On Tuesday, they waived Catanzaro’s only competition, Trevor Moore. On Thursday, the curse struck:

Chandler Catanzaro did not miss an extra point in all of 2017, going 29-for-29. Misses on first attempt with Bucs. Just preseason, but ...

— Greg Auman (@gregauman) August 9, 2018

And it struck again:

Bucs kicker Chandler Catanzaro misses a 53-yard field goal attempt in the fourth quarter. It sailed wide right. He missed an extra point attempt in the first quarter as well.

— JennaLaineESPN (@JennaLaineESPN) August 10, 2018

BUT, Catanzaro got one more chance: a 26-yarder with 23 seconds left and the Bucs down by one. He nailed the attempt, which ended up being the game-winning score.

Maybe, just maybe, that killed the curse once and for all ... but probably not. — Sarah Hardy

[lyndsey-parker]

Katy Perry suffers wardrobe malfunction on otherwise perfect 'American Idol' episode

Katy Perry takes a tumble. (Photo: ABC)

Katy Perry, with her impeccable comic timing and seemingly genuine affection for the contestants, is doing an excellent job as a new American Idol judge, as evidenced by Sunday’s expectations-surpassing reboot premiere. But she probably won’t be invited to be a World of Dance or So You Think You Can Dance judge any time soon. Monday, when she attempted to bust some sexy salsa moves during one audition, she landed flat on her backside — and flashed that backside, along with her frontside, to everyone on the set. (It’s a good thing she didn’t suffer such a wardrobe malfunction at her Super Bowl performance a couple years back!)

Katy laughed off the wacky incident, as did her fellow judges, Luke Bryan (who quipped, “There are some things a man can’t unsee!”) and Lionel Richie (who awkwardly straddled Katy as he helped her get up, joking, “There are some things you have to do for the business!”). TV hilarity ensued — and the way Luke and Lionel leapt to Katy’s aid demonstrated that these three already share fantastic onscreen chemistry. Kudos also to the producers for creatively employing the oval Idol logo as a well-placed censor bar and keeping this show family-friendly.

As for the contestant at the center of this ruckus, Venezuelan dancing queen and self-described “show-woman” Michelle Sussett, she was entertaining as well, and Katy admired her “chutzpah” and “fearlessness” — though I think Luke was exaggerating when he dubbed her “the next damn Jennifer Lopez.” There were many other contestants who figuratively knocked me off my feet (and one that even got weirdly close to Katy’s feet). Below are my favorite auditions from Monday.

Mara Justine, 15: “Love on the Brain” This spitfire and Idol superfan took Rihanna’s song to church and back with a growling, vampy performance. Such sass, such spunk, such soul! She had enough confidence to make Michelle Sussett seem shy, and she earned a standing ovation and instant golden ticket. “This is a top 10 … That’s worth doing American Idol,” gushed Katy.

Griffin Tucker, 15: “Lady Madonna” A Kurt Cobain lookalike playing a groovy piano Beatles tune, with a voice deeper than Scotty “Baby Lock Them Doors” McCreery? What’s not to love? “You’re 15, but you’re like 7,000 years old,” said Katy. “Your level of talent is staggering,” raved Lionel.

Griffin Tucker sharing his music/ gift(s), inspiring the world!#AmericanIdol @gktrocks pic.twitter.com/g0F42jGDaY

— Kevin Wayne Woodward (@KevinWWoodward) March 13, 2018

William Casanova, 26: “A Song for You” This flirty, overconfident women’s shoe salesman seemed like a novelty contestant, but then he showcased a smoky crooner voice (Lionel called it “smooooove”) that lived up to his cheesy, self-appointed surname. His foot fetish (he was way too excited about Katy’s well-manicured toes when she handed him his golden ticket) was a little odd, though.

Brandon Diaz, 21: “Unaware” Meet the the Constantine Maroulis (or maybe Michael Johns) of 2018. With his pinup-worthy curls and bedroom eyes, Brandon is major heartthrob material. But he’s also the “best male singer we’ve seen so far,” according to Katy. His falsetto on the Allen Stone staple was “very clean” (said Lionel) and “badass” (said Luke), and that’ll be his real secret weapon on the show.

Trevor Holmes, 27: “In Case You Didn’t Know” Here comes another heartthrob! Trevor (who’s crushed on Katy for years) and Katy had a moment as he serenaded her, altering Brett Young’s lyrics to “Katy, I’m crazy about you!” I feared producers were about to have another Paula Abdul/Corey Clark scandal on their hands … until Trevor’s girlfriend rushed in, just as Katy was flirtatiously handing him his golden ticket. Alas, Trevor and Katy’s romance was not meant to be. But with his lovely, intimate singing style, Trevor could still go far.

Laine Hardy, 17: “Hurricane” Meet the Phillip Phillips of 2018. This shy Louisiana bayou kid had such a swampy voice (no pun intended) on the Band of Heathens song, with gravel, grizzle, and grit that was practically Tom Waits-level. I did not expect a voice like this! Laine is my favorite male singer so far. “If you ain’t careful, you might win,” proclaimed Luke.

Gabbii Jones, 20: “Dangerous Woman” A “full package and then some,” this delightful, vivacious soul/pop dynamo could be dangerous competition. There was some Beyoncé-level slayage going on here. Lionel was so impressed, he got up from the table and hugged her. “There are things we can tone down,” he said of her over-the-top personality, “but the basic core of you is exciting.”

Thaddeus Johnson, 25: “Don’t You Worry Child” Thaddeus tried out before — eight years and 162 pounds ago — and after becoming nearly suicidal following his Hollywood Week elimination, he dropped his excess weight (see before/after photos below) to improve his vocal stamina. And that he did! I loved his silky R&B rendition of Swedish House Mafia’s EDM smash. Another congratulatory hug from Papa Lionel ensued as Lionel told him, “You’re here for a reason.”

Thaddeus Johnson, before and after. (Photos: Fox/ABC)

Rissa Watson, 17: “When We Were Young” This small-town guitar girl needs to work on her playing, but she gave me Crystal Bowersox vibes with her sparkling country vibrato (“the voice of an angel,” said Luke) and effortless delivery. “I got full body chills,” said Katy.

David Francisco, 25: “Isn’t She Lovely” After being paralyzed from the waist down in a car accident just three weeks after moving to Nashville, this Casey James look-alike made a miraculous recovery and is back to pursuing his dream. His coffeehouse cover of the Stevie Wonder classic was pretty and pleasant, but what made his audition truly stand out was how he serenaded his supportive fiancée. Their pure love was so evident that an emotional Katy sobbed. (Maybe she was imagining Trevor Holmes singing to her that way?) Another Lionel hug followed, as he told David, “You’re an inspiration to us all.”

And so, an inspiring first week of auditions comes to a close. I dare say, the talent this season totally eclipses that of The Voice this year. Can Idol make a real TV comeback? Watch this space.

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

Why the time might be right for the return of ‘American Idol’

The 40 best ‘American Idol’ performances of all time

Adam Lambert talks new song, new sound, and those old ‘Idol’ judging rumors

Follow Lyndsey on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, Amazon, Tumblr, Spotify

[fitzboogieblog]

Steve Mills promoted, Melo on his way out?

I think I was able to be happy for about five days this off season. I thought the Knicks weren’t making any outlandish deals for players who didn’t deserve large contracts, and going for a true rebuild. That was before the Tim Hardaway Jr. signing. I somehow tricked myself into believing that a new front office was going to embrace a rebuild once they signed a new GM. Welp, now it doesn’t appear as though they’re going to hire a GM. Instead, Steve Mills is going to be president of basketball operations. Dumb and dumber Mills and James Dolan will remain in charge of the franchise, missing out on hiring former Cav’s GM David Griffin due to not giving him enough roster control. If they do hire someone, it’ll be a puppet like Allen Houston. It’s maddening as a fan, and legitimately makes you question why you’re supporting this franchise. I’m fully aware that running a franchise is harder than it seems, but at the same time... I could run this franchise better than they can. Give me a room full of dorks that know how to calculate the salary cap and taxes and all of that bullshit, and I could absolutely do a better job that these two bozos we’ve currently got. You know what I wouldn’t have done? Given Timmy Jr. 71 million dollars. 

Alas, I’m not the GM of the Knicks. I’m an angry amateur blogger that’s going to scrutinize their every move until they show they’re committed to rebuilding through the draft. With that being said, it appears that Mills’ second move as president of the Knicks will be to give Carmelo Anthony a way out. Ian Begley of ESPN is reporting that Melo is confident that a deal will get done to send him to Houston. While that is theoretically good news, the Knicks really need to receive some sort of compensation for sending him to the Rockets. There is no way that they can justify a buyout at this point. Regardless of how long they’d be able to spread Carmelo’s money so that it didn’t hit their salary cap all at once, that would still be dead money. Meaning they’d have millions of dollars against the salary cap without a players actually playing. 

The Knicks need to receive players back in a deal for two reasons, neither of which are to win games. 

One is that they need veterans to help mold their young talent. Frank Ntilikina still doesn’t have a mentor at point guard, which he’ll desperately need. Ideally, the Knicks could get back an older point guard from a third team to show him the ropes in any deal that sends Melo out of town. I wouldn’t bank on Rajon Rondo signing for the Mid Level Exception, just as I wouldn’t bank on any free agent ever signing with the Knicks. The only other point guard on the roster currently is Chasson Randle, which is a major problem. There’s a difference between tanking and playing your first round draft pick too many minutes when he’s not ready, ultimately setting him up for failure. The Knicks need minutes at point guard from someone other then Ntilikina, ideally from someone who could teach him a thing or two about the game. If the Knicks are going to center their team around Ntilikina (18), Porzingis (21) and Willy Hermangomez (23), they need a few veterans surrounding them not named Joakim Noah and Courtney Lee. 

The second reason they need players back is to trade them down the line. For example, look at Ryan Anderson. Many people dismiss taking him back in a deal for Carmelo because of his awful 3 year/$61 million dollar deal. But you know what that will eventually turn into? A one year, $21 million dollar deal. That will eventually become attractive to a team looking to acquire an expiring contract while remaining competitive,especially as the salary cap continues to rise. While that may not sound like the best long term plan, if they’re going to be losing games (they are), it’s as good as any. Additionally, taking on a bad contract like Anderson’s would also almost certainly guarantee at least one first round pick coming back to New York. Stockpiling draft picks should absolutely become a priority by any means necessary for these new-look Knicks. 

So to avoid Carmelo’s contract becoming dead money via a buyout, what could the Knicks do? Here are some actually realistic trades they could pull off within the next couple days: 

Carmelo Anthony and Lance Thomas to Houston for Ryan Anderson and Eric Gordon 

Like I just said, many are saying that nobody wants Anderson. And I’d agree with that - nobody does right now. But down the line, they could. The Knicks already have Hardaway and Noah locked in for three years or more, so they might as well go all in on bad contracts and tank that way. At least in that scenario, they don’t have more cap room to give to more bad free agents.. It’s also important to note that Gordon’s deal really isn’t a bad contract, and he’d have some value on the trade market if he manages to stay healthy and play at the sixth man of the year level he did last season. I’ve seen a lot of trade scenarios include swingman Trevor Ariza to the Knicks, and those should be laughed at. Ariza is actually a big reason why CP3 wanted to go to Houston, based on their time playing together on the Hornets. Ariza isn’t going anywhere. Still, I’d imagine Houston being reluctant to give up Gordon. Which brings me to.. 

Carmelo Anthony to Houston. Ryan Anderson, Chinanu Onuaku, Isaiah Taylor and 2020 1st Round Draft Pick to New York

Noticing a trend? It’s Anderson being dealt if the Rockets are going to acquire Carmelo in a trade. If the Rockets want to hold onto Eric Gordon, take in Camrelo’s contract and have the salaries match up, they’ll need to include Anderson and a couple of younger players. I believe the holdup on an incoming deal is that Houston would prefer not to give up a draft pick, whereas New York feels that they need one back in order to take on Anderson. Perhaps I’m biased, but I’m going to side with the Knicks - I can’t see any team being up to taking Anderson without draft pick compensation. With that being said,I believe both teams should strongly consider pulling the trigger on a deal such as this one. 

Carmelo Anthony to Houston, Marco Belinelli, Chinanu Onuaku, and Isaiah Taylor to New York, Ryan Anderson and draft picks to Atlanta 

So let’s say the Knicks are adamant that they’re not taking Anderson or Gordon’s contract back. That’s fine, I honestly would prefer they didn’t. However, that means they’re not going to be receiving any draft pick compensation - that will be going to whoever takes on Anderson’s contract. If recent deals are any indicator, Atlanta is amidst a full rebuild, and would likely be willing to take on Anderson assuming they’ll receive future picks. The Knicks would free up some cap space for years to come, and the Rockets would land Melo while keeping their core group of players. Atlanta’s only real motive here is because they have the cap space to absorb Anderson’s bad contract while being given draft picks to do so. 

Carmelo Anthony to Houston. Terrence Ross, DJ Augustine and Tim Quarterman to New York. Ryan Anderson, Shawn Long and future draft picks to Orlando.

I’ll put my hand up in the air and say that once you start making six player deals on the trade machine, you might be reaching. But who is saying no to this deal? Terrence Ross and DJ Augustine are not commodities, regardless of what anyone tries to say. I don’t care that T dot Ross scored a million points that one time and can dunk with the best of them. He’s an unimportant NBA player. Orlando should jump at the ability to offload both of them while taking in draft picks. Anderson played his best basketball of his career in Orlando, perhaps they could get him to produce once again. As for the Knicks, they shed cap and acquire a veteran point guard in Augustine to soak up minutes and teach Ntilikina how to be a pro in the NBA. Houston once again gets their man and offloads a bad contract at the price of future draft picks. 

Carmelo Anthony to Cleveland. Channing Frye, Iman Shumpert, Richard Jefferson, Kay Felder and draft picks to New York

I’m just saying, I’m not counting out Cleveland. While I think Cleveland would be sad to see Jefferson leave for sentimental reasons, I think they’d do it in order to acquire Melo. I’m actually surprised this trade hasn’t happened yet, as I just assumed Melo would want to play with Bron Bron over playing for D’Antoni again. As a lifelong Knicks fan, this trade does make me want to vomit seeing Shump and Frye back in Knicks uniforms. But I think it makes sense. Adding Melo establishes the Cavs as a legit super team, and they’re not really giving up anyone valuable to do so. The addition of Jeff Green really makes Frye expendable, as he’s probably the most valuable on-court talent included in that trade. Felder and Jefferson honestly don’t matter, though the later would probably want a buyout. This is a trade both organizations should seek out. 

I’m hoping this is the last time I have to write about Carmelo Anthony on the Knicks. If Nene’s Instagram is to be believed, Melo will be out of New York shortly.I hope the Knicks manage to get back at least one somewhat valuable asset in exchange for their former superstar. Just one. 

Until then though, #STAYME70 

[junker-town]

Some of the most notable steals in NFL Draft history

From Antonio Brown to Tom Brady, teams have found gems where they didn’t expect to.

In the moment, the biggest storylines of the NFL Draft are usually those that are selected in the first round. It’s the players who were typically the most decorated during their college careers, and are expected to have similar success in the NFL.

But as it is with anything else, things change with time. Thats when we start to see the diamonds in the rough, ones that sometimes become better than we could have ever imagined.

These are the steals of the draft, and these are some of the best we’ve seen in NFL history.

2000: Tom Brady, Patriots. No. 199 pick in the 6th round

This is the crown jewel of all NFL Draft steals. Brady has cemented his legacy as arguably the best quarterback in NFL history, after having six quarterbacks taken in front of him. He’s the face of the NFL’s greatest dynasty, with five Super Bowls, three MVPs, 13 Pro Bowls, and three All-Pro nods.

Players picked over him at his position: Chad Pennington (No. 18), Giovanni Carmazzi (No. 65), Chris Redman (No. 75), Tee Martin (No. 163), Marc Bulger (No. 168), Spergon Wynn (No. 183)

2010: Antonio Brown, Steelers. No. 195 pick in the 6th round

The NFL’s best receiver the past four years is so damn good, we often forget he was a sixth round pick. He gives us so many other things to marvel over, that it’s easy to forget he was a sixth-round pick, and the 23rd wide receiver taken. Since then, he’s made six Pro Bowls, received four All-Pro nominations, and even got consideration for MVP in 2017 before falling to injury.

Players picked over him at his position: Demaryius Thomas (No. 22), Dez Bryant (No. 24), Arrelious Benn (No. 39), Golden Tate (No. 60), Damian Williams (No. 77), Brandon LaFell (No. 78), Emmanuel Sanders (No. 82), Jordan Shipley (No. 84), Eric Decker (No. 87), Andre Roberts (No. 88), Armanti Edwards (No. 89), Taylor Price (No. 90), Mardy Gilyard (No. 99), Mike Williams (No. 101), Marcus Easley (No. 107), Jacoby Ford (No 108), David Reed (No. 156), Riley Cooper (No. 159), Kerry Meier (No. 165), Carlton Mitchell (No. 177), Dezmon Briscoe (No. 191)

2011: Richard Sherman, Seahawks. No. 154 pick in the 5th round

Sherman was a part of what seemed like a bunch of misfits that formed one of the best defenses the NFL has ever seen in the 2013 Seahawks, and one that was known as the “Legion of Boom.” The band got broken up this year, but Sherman and company went on a tear that gave the rest of the NFL nightmares for years. He was arguably the best cornerback in the game at one point, which is remarkable for a fifth-round pick.

Players picked over him at his position: Patrick Peterson (No. 5), Prince Amukamara (No. 19), Jimmy Smith (No. 27), Ras-l Dowling (No. 33), Aaron Williams (No. 34), Marcus Gilchrist (No. 50), Brandon Harris (No 60), Chris Culliver (No. 80), Demarcus Van Dyke (No. 81), Johnny Patrick (No. 88), Shareece Wright (No. 89), Curtis Marsh (No. 90), Curtis Brown (No. 95), Brandon Hogan (No. 98), Da’Norris Searcy (No. 100), Chimdi Chekwa (No. 113), Jalil Brown (No. 118), Rashad Carmichael (No. 127), Cortez Allen (No. 128), Davon House (No. 131), Buster Skrine (No. 137), Brandon Burton (No. 139), Josh Thomas (No. 143), Rod Issac (No. 147)

2012: Russell Wilson, Seahawks. No. 75 pick in the 3rd round

Wilson wasn’t exactly slept on like some of the other players on this list, but much like Deshaun Watson, college football fans couldn’t understand why NFL teams didn’t view him in a better light. That ended up working out for both him and the Seahawks, as he won a Super Bowl in his second year, and has been one of the NFL’s best quarterbacks ever since.

Players picked over him at his position: Andrew Luck (No. 1), Robert Griffin III (No. 2), Ryan Tannehill (No. 8), Brandon Weeden (No. 22), Brock Osweiler (No. 57)

2010: Jimmy Graham, Saints. No. 95 pick in the 3rd round

Graham played one season of college football out of Miami, after being a full-time basketball player. He then became a tight end that changed the game forever, making way for athletic pass catchers to become the norm at the position. The Saints got three, and nearly four double-digit touchdown seasons out of him, as well as two seasons of more than 1,200 yards receiving.

Players picked over him at his position: Jermaine Gresham (No. 21), Rob Gronkowski (No. 42), Ed Dickson (No. 70), Tony Moeaki (No. 93)

2006: Jahri Evans, Saints. No. 108 pick in the 4th round

There were 10 tackles taken over Evans, who had an incredible run with the Saints. From 2009 to 2012, he made the Pro Bowl and was an All-Pro in each season. The Saints even got a Super Bowl during the 2010 season. He was a machine for them, playing in all 16 games for the first seven seasons of his career, and only playing in less than that twice. That’s what we call a good value, ladies and gentlemen.

Players picked over him at his position: D’Brickashaw Ferguson (No. 4), Winston Justice (No. 39), Daryn Colledge (47), Marcus McNeill (No. 50), Andrew Whitworth (no. 55), Jeremy Trueblood (No. 59), Eric Winston (No. 66), Paul McQuistan (No. 69), Rashad Butler (No. 89)

2012: Josh Norman, Washington. No. 143 pick in the 5th round

Norman took a few years to develop, but came into his own in 2015 when he made his first Pro Bowl and got named to his first All-Pro team. It gave him a reputation as one of the best shutdown cornerbacks in the NFL, and helped him signed a lucrative contract with Washington.

Players picked over him at DB: Morris Claiborne (No. 6), Mark Barron (No. 7), Stephon Gilmore (No. 10), Dre Kirkpatrick (No. 17), Harrison Smith (No. 29), Janoris Jenkins (No. 39), Tavon Wilson (No. 48), Casey Hayward (No. 62), Trumaine Johnson (No. 65), Josh Robinson (No. 66), Brandon Taylor (No. 73), Brandon Hardin (No. 79), Jamell Fleming (No. 80), Bill Bentley (No. 85), Jayron Hosley (No. 94), Omar Bolden (No. 101), Coty Sensabaugh (No. 115), Brandon Boykin (No. 123), Ron Brooks (No. 124), Christian Thompson (No. 130), Jerron McMillian (No. 133), Matt Johnson (No. 135), Robert Blanton (No. 139)

2005: Darren Sproles, Chargers. No. 130 pick in the 4th round

At 5’6, Sproles was almost immediately counted out despite being a talented player at Kansas State. He made a trio of Pro Bowls later in his career with the Eagles, but was still a great triple-threat in the air, on the ground, and in the return game for the Chargers and Saints for years.

Players picked over him at his position: Ronnie Brown (No. 2), Cedric Benson (No. 4), Carnell Williams (No. 5), J.J. Arrington (No. 44), Eric Shelton (No. 54), Frank Gore (No. 65), Vernand Morency (No. 73), Ryan Moats (No. 77), Maurice Clarett (No. 101), Marion Barber (No. 109), Brandon Jacobs (No. 110), Ciatrick Fason (No. 112), Manuel White (No. 120), Alvin Pearman (No. 127)

[junker-town]

Behold, the most absurd all-time NBA 2k lineups for every team

You had great suggestions for each team’s all-time starting 5. I, on the other hand, had terrible ones.

Dope news: NBA 2K18 will allow you the chance to play with the best possible all-time roster for all 30 NBA franchises. Ever wonder how your favorite team’s legends of yesteryear mesh with your best players today? Wonder no more, thanks to the magic of sports’ best video game.

This got us thinking about who would make each franchise’s all-time starting 5. So, we asked you and tracked your responses.

It also got me thinking about the dumbest all-time starting 5s I could put together for each team. (Why? I don’t know. I gave up trying to figure out my brain years ago).

Below are the answers to both of those questions. If you can come up with a weirder all-time starting 5 for your favorite team, let me know in the comments.

ATLANTA HAWKS

My pointless lineup

PG: Acie Law III SG: Dion Glover SF: Dominique Wilkins PF: Rasheed Wallace C: Jon Koncak

Sheed was technically a Hawk, right? Also, poor Nique.

Your way better lineups

Spud Webb Iso Joe Wilkins Millsap Pettit https://t.co/M61iIeImAM

— sad georgia fan (@The_Kid_Across) August 11, 2017

Doc Joe Nique Horford Dikembe Maybe? https://t.co/sjiy3p5oNf

— Bo Churney (@bochurney) August 11, 2017

Atlanta Hawks: PG: Lenny Wilkens SG: Pistol Pete SF: 'Nique PF: Bob Pettit C: Dikembe Mutombo https://t.co/Lzer6k8Hzy

— Garrison (@Garrison_McD) August 11, 2017

BOSTON CELTICS

My pointless lineup

PG: John Bagley SG: Dana Barros SF: Todd Day PF: Dino Radja C: Greg Kite

The Celtics have too many legends, so how would a team of forgotten Celtics fare? The schadenfreude already amuses me.

Your way better lineups

Rondo Pierce Bird Garnett Russell https://t.co/antU6U5nTF

— Ammar Ljubijankić (@IlCapitanoJuv) August 11, 2017

Rondo/DJ/Jones Pierce/Jones/Ainge Bird/Havlicek McHale/Cowens Russell/Parish https://t.co/oYftBd4jUT

— Mike Slonina (@Slo_24) August 11, 2017

Cousy, Pierce, Bird, Garnett, Russell https://t.co/rLT3CY3cwO

— John Morgan Francis (@MonJorgan) August 11, 2017

Cousy, Sam Jones, Hondo, Bird, Russell. Sounds nice. Aproximately 3928 rings between them, too. https://t.co/XPTg07NQUI

— TM Warning (@tmwarning) August 11, 2017

NEW JERSEY/BROOKLYN NETS:

My pointless lineup

PG: Rumeal Robinson SG: Rex Walters SF: Bostjan Nachbar PF: Yinka Dare C: Brook Lopez

Brook Lopez has played on worse teams.

Your way better lineups

Kidd-Petrovic-Erving-Coleman-Lopez https://t.co/QtL5nPJTuQ

— NBA Central (@nbacentral247) August 11, 2017

Jason Kidd Vince Carter Dr. J. Kenyon Martin Brook Lopez https://t.co/R4z8atYFVv

— Yoshimitsu (@me_IKE_who_U) August 11, 2017

CHARLOTTE HORNETS

My pointless lineup

PG: Raymond Felton SG: Rex Chapman SF: Kelly Tripuka PF: Byron Mullens C: DeSagana Diop

Let’s remember the worst of the early days of the Hornets and Bobcats.

Your way better lineups

C: Alonzo Mourning PF: Larry Johnson SF:Glen Rice SG:Dell Curry PG: Kemba Walker

— Jeremy Powell (@coolastheyc) August 11, 2017

Hmmm. . . Kemba Walker Dell Curry Gerald Wallace Larry Johnson Alonzo Mourning Just post Bobcats (04): Kemba Batum? Wallace Diaw?! Okafor https://t.co/AwE9stpgJV

— Stroupe-a-loop (@Stroupe_a_loop) August 11, 2017

Baron Davis, Rex Chapman, Jamal Mashburn, Larry Johnson, Alonzo Mourning @BringBackTheBuz

— Jordan Flowers (@FlowersJordan) August 11, 2017

CHICAGO BULLS

My ridiculous lineup

PG: Jannero Pargo SG: Michael Jordan SF: Brad Sellers PF: Victor Khryapa C: Dalibor Bagaric

What’s the worst possible team I could create around Michael Jordan? I challenge you to do better.

Your way better lineups.

Rose/Sloan Jordan/Theus Pippen/Love/Walker Rodman/Love Gilmore/Noah https://t.co/oYftBd4jUT

— Mike Slonina (@Slo_24) August 11, 2017

Jimmy G Rodman Noah https://t.co/PfsssB3QSw

— le (@wallinthe80s) August 11, 2017

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS:

My equally ridiculous lineup

PG: Matthew Dellavedova SG: Sasha Pavlovic SF: LeBron James PF: Donyell Marshall C: Chris Mihm

This team is definitely making the playoffs in the East.

Your way better lineups

Price Carr LeBron Love Z https://t.co/iBeS4iLeOr

— . (@CLE4life216) August 11, 2017

C - Ilgauskas PF - Larry Nance SF - LeBron SG - Austin Carr PG - Kyrie

— Josh Hooper (@fmjosh) August 11, 2017

Price/Irving/Bron/Nance/Daugherty

— PETTIS NO ES BORICUA (@LoWuaSacar) August 11, 2017

DALLAS MAVERICKS

My pointless lineup

PG: Brad Davis SG: Tim Legler SF: George McCloud PF: Charlie Villanueva C: Shawn Bradley

Is Shawn Bradley ... the first option?

Your way better lineups

nash finley mashburn dirk tyson

— costanza. (@bforbernard) August 11, 2017

Dirk Aguirre Chandler Nash Blackman#MFFL https://t.co/lS00YkzB8i

— adam (@adamahole) August 11, 2017

DENVER NUGGETS

My pointless lineup

PG: Michael Adams SG: J.R. Smith SF: DerMarr Johnson PF: Nikoloz Tskitishvilli C: Raef LaFrentz

J.R. Smith is gonna take every shot, and he probably should.

Your way better lineups

Iverson English Melo McDyess Mutumbo https://t.co/Nea6BLT9Um

— heirpush. (@Pusha_TeeWat) August 11, 2017

Chauncey Billups Alex English Carmelo Anthony Kenyon Martin Nikola Jokic https://t.co/cbPRFrKyTs

— Lucas Navarrete (@LucasNavarreteM) August 11, 2017

Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf David Thompson Alex English Carmelo Anthony Dikembe Mutombo https://t.co/BI3sOMnQQh

— Tommy Wood (@woodstein72) August 11, 2017

DETROIT PISTONS

My * thinking face emoji * lineup

PG: Rodney Stuckey SG: Arron Afflalo SF: Jonas Jerebko PF: Jason Maxiell C: Darko Milicic

Imagine a world where Darko turns into a star. The 04 Pistons start to age out, and it’s time for a new generation to take over with Darko as the centerpiece. It’d look something like this, right?

Your way better rosters

Isiah Joe D Debusschere Rodman Big Ben#DetroitBasketball https://t.co/iadwZrYHrn

— Ben (@Ben_Searle) August 11, 2017

Isiah Chauncey Grant Hill Dennis Rodman Ben Wallace W/ 6 man Joe Dumarshttps://t.co/1XkYvEPYeb

— Chuck (@idgachuck) August 11, 2017

Prediction: Thomas, Dumars, Rodman, B. Wallace, Lanier Favorite: Billups, Dumars, Hill, Rodman, B. Wallace https://t.co/oTsQa1CgGD

— Detroit Bad Boys ☠ (@detroitbadboys) August 11, 2017

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

My pointless lineup

PG: Earl Boykins SG: Vonteego Cummings SF: Mike Dunleavy PF: Todd Fuller C: Andris Biedrins

Remember when the Warriors were a joke? Let’s go back to a time when that were true.

Your way better rosters

This beats anybody who's not Lakers or Celtics: Steph, Mullin, Rick Barry, Durant, Wilt https://t.co/wYh2ES8CRR

— Tony Biasotti (@TonyBiasotti) August 11, 2017

Curry, Thompson, Durant, Green, and Literally Anybody Else. https://t.co/b5iLzzHmcr

— Grant Brisbee (@mccoveychron) August 11, 2017

OK OK I get it.

There's a real argument for choosing Steph, Klay, Iggy, KD, and Draymond https://t.co/7jxuWu5GSr

— Golden State of Mind (@unstoppablebaby) August 11, 2017

I SAID I GET IT.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

My pointless lineup

PG: Yao Ming SG: Dikembe Mutombo SF: Dwight Howard PF: Moses Malone C: Hakeem Olajuwon

The Rockets are the franchise of big men, so let’s make them all play together.

Your way better lineups

Harden Tmac Barkley Yao Dr34m https://t.co/KEukh6WZp6

— Hurk (@McHurk) August 11, 2017

CP3, Harden, T-Mac, Elvin Hayes, Hakeem https://t.co/2sOYg323QA

— The Red Monster (@ChrisR7575) August 11, 2017

Calvin Murphy Harden Tmac Hakeem Sampson/Yao https://t.co/FZakJeNWUR

— Tad Ghostal (@_ForestWind) August 11, 2017

INDIANA PACERS

My vengeful lineup

PG: Haywood Workman SG: Fred Jones SF: Paul George PF: Tyler Hansbrough C: Zan Tabak

Instead of punishing Paul George by making him play in Oklahoma City, why not build this roster and force him to stay?

Your way better lineups

Mark Jackson, Reggie Miller, Roger Brown, Mel Daniels, George McGinnis

— Sam DeVoe (@samtdevoe) August 11, 2017

If ABA players are out: Mark Jackson, Reggie, PG, Granger, Jermaine O'Neal. https://t.co/AAdXEnHiKM

— Caitlin Cooper (@C2_Cooper) August 11, 2017

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS

My oh-god-there-are-so-many-options-how-do-i-choose? lineup

PG: Baron Davis SG: Marko Jaric SF: Yaroslav Korolev PF: Keith Closs C: Michael Olowokandi

We could create infinite terrible Clippers starting 5s.

Your way better lineups

CP3 Maggette Griffin Brand McAdoo

— Whatsapp Danny** (@DanielCoupe) August 11, 2017

CP3, Corey Maggette, Elton Brand, Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan. https://t.co/YUNCT0qUWr

— Josh Roberts (@JoshCantBlog) August 11, 2017

LOS ANGELES LAKERS

My pointless lineup

PG: Smush Parker SG: Kobe Bryant SF: Wesley Johnson PF: Slava Medvedenko C: Travis Knight

How long until Kobe breaks his teammates’ eardrums?

Your way better lineups

Magic Kobe Elgin Baylor Kareem Shaq https://t.co/rlcmcWQze5

— Alex B. (@ABsole_) August 11, 2017

Magic Kobe The Logo Shaq Kareem Playing old school af https://t.co/doNf5TUqUI

— Keenan Victor (@KeenanVictor) August 11, 2017

MEMPHIS/VANCOUVER GRIZZLIES:

My pointless lineup

PG: Steve Francis SG: Tony Allen SF: Zach Randolph PF: Marc Gasol C: Bryant Reeves

Merge the pillars of Grit ‘N Grind with the two biggest player reminders of why Vancouver failed.

Your way better lineups

Dickerson, Edwards, Reeves, A-R, Bibby??? I dunno ask Jay Triano.

— Cleveland in 6 (@RealMurf) August 11, 2017

Marc Gasol, Randolph, Abdur-Rahim, Allen and Conley

— Ravis (@SRavi81) August 11, 2017

MIAMI HEAT

My rude lineup

PG: Gary Payton SG: Mike Bibby SF: Juwan Howard PF: Chris Gatling C: Zydrunas Ilgauskas

The all-time Ring Chaser team! Let’s see if you can do better.

Your way better lineups

Tim Hardaway, D Wade, LeBron, Alonzo Mourning, and Shaq https://t.co/h4hSrp4OPv

— KingOfGettingCurved (@jordanholic19) August 11, 2017

Tim Hardaway DWADE LeBron Bosh Shaq

— DatBootyDoe (@ShonenShadow) August 11, 2017

Tim Hardaway, D Wade, Glen Rice, Bron and Zo. Zo is captain despite Bron's numerous objections. https://t.co/IJ94AJKpyz

— Bobby Wilson (@chewingbones) August 11, 2017

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

My pointless lineup

PG: Lee Mayberry SG: Charlie Bell SF: Todd Day PF: Marty Conlon C: Randy Brewer

Another team with a ton of super random dudes that have played for them. Damn.

Your way better lineups

Oscar Roberson, Sidney Moncrief, Michael Redd, Giannis, Jamaal Maglore https://t.co/hTYkd6Qlnc

— Nader Kiblawi (@Kiblawi97) August 11, 2017

Oscar Moncrief Giannis Terry Cummings Lew Alcindor https://t.co/oDfByr94Xq

— Tyvion (@tyvion_jones17) August 11, 2017

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

My Kahn special lineup

PG: Jonny Flynn SG: Wesley Johnson SF: Michael Beasley PF: Anthony Randolph C: Darko Milicic

David Kahn really went out of his way to get all of these players. I’m speechless.

Your way better lineups

@Timberwolves: Pooh, Tony Campbell, @22wiggins , KG and @KarlTowns. I'll hang up and listen. https://t.co/3Qu65JGujX

— Kyle Jamison (@kylejamison) August 11, 2017

Marbury, wig, butler, KG and KAT https://t.co/CybN9NAuxq

— Matt Johnson (@Matt_Johnson10) August 11, 2017

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS/PELICANS:

My lineup to prove a point

PG: Chris Paul SG: Marco Belinelli SF: James Posey PF: Anthony Davis C: Omer Asik

Take the two best players in franchise history and surround them with a visual reminder of how terribly the franchise build around them.

Your way better lineups

Chris Paul Baron Davis Jamal Mashburn David West Anthony Davishttps://t.co/7eY0CVIXv6

— The Bird Writes (@thebirdwrites) August 11, 2017

CP3, Baron, Peja, AD, Tyson RT @SBNationNBA:2K18 is releasing All-Time teams this year. What’s your favorite team’s all-time starting 5?

— deejay (@whoadiedeejay) August 11, 2017

NEW YORK KNICKS

Your pointless lineup

Shane larkin, langston galloway, lance thomas, quincy acy, lou amundson https://t.co/5e1rQLjDyG

— #TheHackening (@Boehme_NYJ) August 11, 2017

Your way better lineups

Fraizer Monroe King Anthony Ewing #knicks https://t.co/N59gNzcDzp

— Kola Champagne Papi (@ZSoloDolo) August 11, 2017

Frazier, Earl Monroe, Melo, Willis Reed, Ewing https://t.co/uKrTsu04mM

— ak (@LiveLoveAK) August 11, 2017

SEATTLE SUPERSONICS/OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

My suuuuuper fun lineup

PG: Gary Payton SG: Russell Westbrook SF: Kevin Durant PF: Shawn Kemp C: Jack Sikma

Because this combined franchise deserves the best.

Your way better lineups

Sonics: Payton, Allen, KD, Rashard, Kemp. Make it rain 3s in Seattle. https://t.co/VlmfMzFlJP

— Colin Byrne (@BallinByrne) August 11, 2017

Payton, Westbrook, Durant, Kemp, Sam Perkins? https://t.co/Pb5AKqNvsm

— alternative moe (@Atlmoe6) August 11, 2017

If you want Sonics only...

Hmmm... C - Jack Sikma F - Shawn Kemp F - Dale Ellis G - Lenny Wilkins G - Gary Payton https://t.co/teMPB8hr0C

— Tanner Savage (@tsavage55) August 11, 2017

ORLANDO MAGIC

My pointless lineup

PG: Brooks Thompson SG: Anthony Bowie SF: Jeff Green PF: Jeff Turner C: Andrew DeClercq

Brooks Thompson was one of my favorite players growing up. Not joking.

Your other good lineups

Penny TMAC Grant Hill Vujevic Shaq

— Yeboi (@itsmeyeboi) August 11, 2017

Penny Hardaway Tracy McGrady Grant Hill Rashard Lewis (I guess) Shaq Injuries are our fave https://t.co/ivWjL9FuVI

— Smokey Carmichael (@turtlewithapen) August 11, 2017

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

My pointless lineup

PG: T.J. McConnell SG: Allen Iverson SF: Hollis Thompson PF: Sharone Wright C: Manute Bol

Will Allen Iverson ever pass? Tune in to find out!

Your actually good lineups

Mo Cheeks, AI, Dr J, Barkley, Wilt https://t.co/BVS7xawIBt

— Matt Powers (@MattPowers31) August 11, 2017

PG: Simmons (Yeah I went there) SG: Iverson SF: Dr. J PF: Barkley C: Wilt Chamberlain https://t.co/5ryTwqifuG

— Arie & Al (@OfficialReview) August 11, 2017

Mo Cheeks A.I. The Doctor Charles Barkley Joel 'The Process' Embiid https://t.co/kSdrdnn8fb

— 737 almost every day (@ShoutingStreet) August 11, 2017

PHOENIX SUNS

My pointless lineup

PG: Isaiah Thomas SG: Eric Bledsoe SF: Goran Dragic PF: Negele Knight C: Frank Johnson

Three point guards that feuded with each other and two point guards you surely forgot about.

Your way better lineups

Gimme - Nash - Majerle - Marion - Barkley - Amar'e https://t.co/mrGjLJPrZX

— Joey Artigue (@Joey_Artigue) August 11, 2017

C: Adams PF: Barkley SF: Marion SG: Davis PG: Nash@Suns #Suns https://t.co/YSaDnHvKdy

— Phillip_Ramírez (@Phillip_Ramirez) August 11, 2017

PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS

My thought experiment lineup

PG: Damon Stoudamire SG: Ruben Patterson SF: Rasheed Wallace PF: Zach Randolph C: Bill Walton

How would Bill Walton deal with the JailBlazers? I wanna simulate a season and see what happens.

Your way better lineups

C: Walton PF: Aldridge SF: Roy SG: Drexler PG: Lillard Would hear arguments for Lucas or Sheed at 4. https://t.co/pRhK7BSDiM

— Ricky Young ⭐️ (@RickySYoung) August 11, 2017

Rod Strickland Clyde Drexler Kiki Vandeweghe Rasheed Wallace Bill Walton https://t.co/q7acF7M63v

— DTea (@DTillery79) August 11, 2017

SACRAMENTO/KANSAS CITY KINGS / CINCINNATI ROYALS

My thought experiment lineup

PG: Jason Williams SG: Doug Christie SF: Peja Stojakovic PF: Chris Webber C: DeMarcus Cousins

The inverse of the Portland scenario. How will a fun team affect DeMarcus Cousins’ sour mood?

Your way better lineups

jason williams, peja, the rock, webber, cousins

— CdotJdot (@cjayyyof916) August 11, 2017

Sac Only: Theus, Richmond, Peja, C-Webb, Boogie Franchise: Tiny, Big O, Jack Twyman, Jerry Lucas, C-Webb https://t.co/1x4ECJUs78

— Akis Yerocostas (@Aykis16) August 11, 2017

Archibald, The Big O, Peja, CWebb, Boogie

— Marc N (@KingsFan312) August 11, 2017

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

My thought experiment lineup

PG: Avery Johnson SG: Willie Anderson SF: Chuck Person PF: J.R. Reid C: Tim Duncan

If you look back in NBA history, the Spurs surrounded David Robinson with some weird rosters full of mediocre vets. Would Tim Duncan fare any better than Robinson did with them? I’d love to know.

Your way better lineups

Spurs: - Parker - Manu - Kawhi - Timmy - Robinson 6Man: Gervin Bench: J. Silas, Bowen, Aldridge, D. Green and Diaw because he's the GOAT https://t.co/l1Hx4rDOX7

— Jacob Roth (@Jacob_Roth21) August 11, 2017

TORONTO RAPTORS

My pointless lineup

PG: Mike James SG: Vince Carter SF: Joey Graham PF: Rafael Araujo C: Andrea Bargnani

How many Raptors fans would enjoy seeing Vince Carter punished with this sad team?

Your way better lineups

Lowry DeRozan Vince Carter Chris Bosh Antonio Davis https://t.co/3ny0LTGYXK

— K-D (@KDnoball) August 11, 2017

Mighty Mouse/Lowry DeRozan Vince Carter/Tracy McGrady Chris Bosh Antonio Davis #WeTheNorth #RTZ https://t.co/bIlotcxI4d

— ⚠️Guy On The Couch⚠️ (@6SportsGod1) August 11, 2017

UTAH JAZZ

My pointless lineup

PG: Raul Neto SG: Delaney Rudd SF: Quincy Lewis PF: Scott Padgett C: Greg Ostertag

Remember when Delaney Rudd had an awesome moment in the 1992 playoffs? I swear, it happened!

Your way better lineups

John Stockton Pete Maravich Adrian Dantley Karl Malone Mark Eaton (Gobert is coming for this spot)#TakeNote https://t.co/27ymqsBQ57

— Jake Hatch (@JacobCHatch) August 11, 2017

Jazz one is interesting John Stockton Pete Maravich Gordon Hayward/AK47? Karl Malone Gobert? Already? https://t.co/LZImegrrYV

— Ben Wagner (@ben_wagner) August 11, 2017

WASHINGTON BULLETS/WIZARDS

My lineup to prove a point

PG: Mark Price SG: Michael Jordan SF: Bernard King PF: Charles Oakley C: Moses Malone

Did you know all of these guys played for this franchise? Bet you didn’t, but it’s true. (Alt lineup: Muggsey Bogues | Nick Young | Ladell Eackles | Andray Blatche | JaVale McGee).

Your way better lineups

Here's a stab at the Wizards All-Time Starting 5 (they all should make the team) John Wall Earl Monroe Phil Chenier Elvin Hayes Wes Unseld https://t.co/mju9TpBQtL

— Bullets Forever (@BulletsForever) August 11, 2017

Wall Arenas Unseld The Big E Dandrige

— Pete (@PeteRuso) August 11, 2017

Wall, Chenier, Butler, Hayes, Unseld

— Jack Kogod (@Unsilent) August 11, 2017