#dave voice okay so what happens is that the dragon comes down from the sky in an almost heavenly light and you just get killed instantly -

[handbagman]

the mandela dnd session (aka a very Canonical and Real reason on why thatcher keeps having the worst time of his life /j)

[reefer-reelz-n-reviews]

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010)

 

Smoking: Papa Smurf {I had attempted to rolls some jays for the movie but for some reason they wouldn’t stay sealed 😥}

 

Here is the little description from Disney+ “A modern-day sorcerer must make his seemingly average recruit into the ultimate apprentice.” I feel it sums it accurately. Now for my high mind to write this week’s entry 😊

We start off with a background on the 3 sorcerers that worked under Merlin, James A Stephens, and the evil Morgana, Alice Krige. We have Nicolas Cage playing Balthazar and Alfred Molina playing Horvath the dueling for good and evil. Then we get a glimpse a little more into the future of a young boy named Dave who is found out to be the Prime Merlinean.

Now we go 10 years later and adult Dave is played by Jay Baruchel. The voice of Hiccup in How to Train Your Dragon. I love the relationship Dave has with Bennet, played by Omar Benson Miller. Bennet wants to help him not be by himself and spend time with friends so he doesn’t get stuck in his science projects alone.

Nicolas Cage coming into save the day by turning wolves to puppies while riding a giant metal eagle. I mean can you talk about an entrance!

One of my favorite parts is coming up. The fight in China Town, and on top of that during a festival! We have the fight between Balthazar and Sun-Lok played by Gregory Woo. He has this really cool power where he turned one of the festival paper dragons into a real dragon and chase Dave around. I love how they use the confetti. Its just floating down gracefully, and then they use magic to manipulate it as well.

I’m watching the movie right now on Disney+, but I also have the DVD as well. In the special features they go into details about how they made the Merlin Circle because they didn’t want it to be put in but have it be real. Now I don’t remember a lot about what was said, okay okay, any of what was said ahahah, but I remember thinking it was interesting lol.

Watching Jay try to make a plasma bolt is hilarious! It’s like a whole training sequence where he is basically failing, and failing hilariously.

Now we have Horvath trying to get some more help by reaching out to Drake Stone, played by Toby Kebbell. He uses his sorcerer abilities to be a magician and make money by doing shows. Very good looking and killer accent 😍

There is a Star Wars reference in this movie. Thinking about it. I wonder if in some how Disney new that 2 years after this movie came out they would take the Star Wars franchise?

Then they is the wonderful scene where Dave leaves his lab to be cleaned by his magic. This scene was done with a lot of people in green outfits being different kinds of cleaning supplies. It is an ode to the scene in Fantasia where Mickey Mouse puts on Merlin’s hat and does the same thing with the brooms and mops. They did a REALLY good job putting it all together.

And I just got a 10min interruption by a cat. Calcifur apparently needed my attention for a little while lol.

Snack Break!

I got this way too huge slice of cake. Its soooo good and coconutty 🤤

Can’t believe I’ve gotten almost 600 words in and haven’t even mentioned Dave’s love interest Becky, played by Teresa Palmer. They have a very cute relationship that buds throughout the movie.

Now we get to the last battle. Morgana has been brought back through the 3rd sorcerer Veronica, played by Monica Bellucci. Morgana’s soul is connected to Veronica’s and she is trying to complete the ritual she was stopped from in the beginning of the movie.

We have Balthazar and Horvath battling each other while she is shooting fire balls up in the sky and no one in New York is paying any attention to it. Nor was I for the last 5 mins lol. I got distracted on my phone for a minute there.

Dave gets to battle Morgana in the end, and you know, stuff happens. Once again, trying not to ruin stuff here lol!

Hope you enjoyed this week’s review! Till next time ❤

 

-RRR

[callunavulgari]

TOP 25 FICS OF 2017

1. A Somaal Universe by @kaikamahine | Steven Universe | 7.5k

Connie flips over the next card. “'Most likely to -’” She reads out loud, and then dissolves into laughter and has to start over, propping the card up on her bump. “'Most likely to freak out when you go into labor and break the speed limit getting to the hospital?’” 

“Pearl,” Amethyst and Jasper say in unison.

Heather Says: It was really difficult to choose between this and Favor For Your Four-Chambered Heart as favorite Elizabeth fic for the year, but in the end this one won out because it was one of the first fics this year that made me well and truly happy.

2. The home front by aesc | Stargate Atlantis | 10k

“This had better be the Sheppard residence,” Rodney says, brilliant, agitated life and volume against a monotonous day and Dave’s subdued welcome, “because I’ve been driving around for hours and if I ever find the woman who did the voice on my GPS system I’m going to personally amputate her vocal cords.”

Heather Says: I read this in the pool, precariously balanced on the top step with my body angled weirdly so that I wasn’t holding my phone over the water. I started it before I got in the pool, of course, but I couldn’t put it on hold long enough to swim, so I finished it in the water.

3. Junk Cheap by DevilDoll | Stargate Atlantis | 13.5k

If you were thinking you’d love to read an AU where Rodney is a college professor and John owns a junk shop, this is the story for you.

Heather Says: This might be my favorite SGA fic that I found this year, which is funny since going into the fandom I would have told you that I’d prefer to read fics set in canon. I mean, c’mon. Atlantis? Why would I want to read anything set anywhere else? But this fic perfectly captured John’s lazy personality and Rodney’s crotchety... everything. It’s fabulous.

4. Unidentified by fiercelydreamed | Stargate Atlantis | 30k

Fourteen years, eight months, and seven days after John and Rodney meet, the clock starts all over again.

Heather Says: I’m not typically one for the amnesia trope. I’ve found some good fic for it, but most of the time either the angst or the second-hand embarrassment gets me too hard and I end up exiting out of the fic. This fic was intricate and engaging and introduces a Rodney just off-center from the Rodney that we know.

5. Black Helicopters at Dawn by whizzy | Stargate Atlantis | 240k

Screw the bet. Rodney was going to prove the existence of extraterrestrial intelligence. Oh, and incidentally, he might just catch the United States Air Force with their pants around their ankles.

Heather Says: This fic is long. And beautiful, and sad, and kind of a lot. Also if you’re like me you’ll have to find the third part of it on some weird, sort of sketchy website that hopefully didn’t give you viruses. Or if you’re really desperate you can ask me to send you a copy since I think I still have it somewhere.

6. Like a Lightning Strike by miss_aphelion | Hannibal | 71k

In a world where omegas are instant celebrities and treated like royalty, Will just wants to be left alone. So he keeps what he is a secret, managing to avoid the spotlight and the restrictions that come with it for nearly twenty years.

Then a case goes wrong, and his secrets start to unravel before the entire world—and even more worrying, it happens in front of Hannibal, the alpha that was already fascinated with him before he knew what he was.

Heather Says: Okay, so remember how I said I wasn’t crazy about the amnesia trope? I am really not crazy about the A/B/O trope. Done well enough it’s intriguing, but I read a really awful one way back in the day that basically scarred me for life. That said, this fic came along and hooked me hard. It hasn’t been updated since April, which is disappointing, but it’s well worth the read, even unfinished.

7. Lord, Save Me from Your Followers by anamatics | Supergirl | 27k

Kara, perhaps out of a want for thoroughness in her story, perhaps out of a Millennial-born urge to creep on a the social media of a woman she finds intriguing, discovers that Lena Luthor has a pretty active following on Instagram one afternoon not long after their first meeting. She debates it, just for a moment, before following Lena.

Heather Says: Don’t watch Supergirl? That’s fine! Technically I’ve only seen a couple episodes myself! Read this anyway! This fic has that perfect realness to it that I’ve only found in a very select group of fics and it has cute girls kissing to boot.

8. hood & glove by @fahye | Yuri On Ice | 12k 

“I don’t mess with the fae,” Otabek says.

"I'm not asking you to mess with them," JJ flat-out lies. 

Heather Says: I’ve tried to say things about this three times now. There are fairies. Otabek is a hero. The king of the fairies fell in love with a human and the weather is fucked up. And there is some truly spectacular art within.

  9. With Fire in Their Eyes by @asukaskerian | Yuri On Ice | 8k

He lands butterfly-light in a swirl of hair and glittering gauze, and the ceiling crashes to the rink all around him.

His ears are ringing with heartbeats, his efforts, the cries of the crowd. The rink wobbles under him -- must have landed a bit wrong but he can work through it. Only there are things strewn all over the ice; people usually know to wait until the end to throw roses and tokens and --

Not applause. Screams. The light is wrong because a fourth of the ceiling projectors are missing. The sky is dark. No stars. Something gleams behind the broken sky. And moves. Something he can't -- won't -- something.

Something that's looking at him.

Heather Says: It’s a Pacific Rim/Yuri On Ice crossover. What more could you want?

10. What We Pretend We Can’t See by @gyzym | Harry Potter | 131 k

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

Heather Says: I’ve been a fan of gyzym’s stuff since way back in 2009? 2010? Whatever year it was, it was on livejournal back when Inception was a thing. So when I got the notification that she wrote something new? And that the new thing she’d written was 130k of Draco/Harry? I was over the moon. 

11. No Less Unthinkable by @rageprufrock | Yuri On Ice | 79k

In which Katsuki Yuuri fights a losing battle with chronic anxiety, the quadruple Salchow, and his own judgment four drinks in — but wins the war.

Heather Says: I’ve been affectionately dubbing this fic the slutty Yuuri picture show, because damn. The porn itself is exquisitely written, yes, but more than that is the way Yuuri himself is written. That realness that I was talking about above is very prominent here too. 

12. Slithering by @astolat | Harry Potter | 27k

Draco found the nest down in the Manor’s cellars, while he was clearing them out.

Heather Says: I have a weakness for fics with snakes, okay.

13. Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi | Harry Potter | 93k

'You’re a wizard, Harry’ is easier to hear from a half-giant when you’re eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you’re seventeen and late for work.

Heather Says: In addition to just being really fucking great all around, the soundtrack to this fic lead me to some of the best music that I’ve listened to this year.

14. the king of oak by @picqueries | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them | 38k 

The first thing Percival Graves does after being released back into the world is buy a new wand. He's at Greymalkin's for ten minutes and the only wand that works for him is raw aspen, whiter than bone and so rough that Graves gives himself a splinter conjuring a storm of birds. The wand—dragon heartstring, a most unusual wand for an American wizard, according to a flustered Greymalkin—feels wild, and Graves empties half his wallet on the counter and keeps his hand on his new wand all the way home.

The second thing he does is quit his job, because honestly.

("Grindelwald did his research before he put on your face," Seraphina says reasonably. "And it's not like you're open with your personal life. He has us all fooled."

"He wore scorpion stickpins!" Graves shoots back, somewhat less reasonably.

Seraphina looks at Graves, his pressed creases, his immaculate shirt, the red ruby cufflinks he's wearing to hide the starved brittleness of his wrists. "I'm sorry," she says. It is not enough to make him stay.)

The third thing he does is get jumped by Credence Barebone in an alley.

Heather Says: Okay, okay, okay. But. Wizards are descended from fairies. Should I say it again for those in the back? Wizards are descended from fairies. Honestly, even if this fic had been horribly written I’d be hooked just on that concept alone. Fortunately it’s written beautifully, and is a complete work of art.

15. apocrypha by aerynlallaboso | Dishonored | 97k

The Eighth year of the reign of Empress Emily Kaldwin, First of her Name, the second year without a whisper from the Outsider, is the year the Void chooses to mark the end of an era.

Heather Says: This wasn’t the first Dishonored fic that I read, but it was the first one I’d read that was longer than 5k, and I was just so goddamned pleased with everything about it.

16. A Year In Toussaint by @astolat | The Witcher | 30k

Geralt had no damn idea what to do with a vineyard when Anna Henrietta gave him Corvo Bianco, but he figured it couldn’t be that bad.

Heather Says: Between the Stargate Atlantis and Harry Potter, I read a lot of astolat’s fic this year. I’d noticed that she’d been writing fic for the Witcher, but didn’t much care because I never really played the games. But I was bored one day, so I read one of her Witcher fics. Then another. And another. And then I went out and bought the games. This one is my favorite.

17. wild peaches by @notbecauseofvictories | The Labyrinth | 3.5k

The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast.

Heather Says: The feel of this fic is basically what I want out of everything that I read for the rest of my life. Just the right amount of magic, but eerie and timeless. I have read this fic at least five times since it was published and will probably go on to read it another five times next year.

18. where the weeds take root by @beenghosting | Supernatural | 30k 

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

Heather Says: I really adore slice of life fic, especially when it’s an after-the-war-is-over sort of thing rather than just some fluffy AU that the characters have been stuffed into. I haven’t touched anything Supernatural related in years, not because I didn’t love the characters, but because the show was on this slowly creeping spiral downwards, and I just couldn’t. This though, feels like a very organic end for my two favorites, so thank you for giving me closure.

19. Heart and Home by lc2l | Les Mis | 97k

In an alternate Paris, werewolves occupy the majority of the ruling classes, making and adjusting policy to suit their interests. The punishments for a human attacking a werewolf can be brutal, unless they have the protection of a wolf pack.

How this translates to ‘claim Grantaire as your mate to get him out of prison’ is something Enjolras is still trying to get his head around, but he’s never been one to give up on a cause even when it’s sleeping on his sofa.

Heather Says: I, like many other people, watched the movie adaptation of Les Mis several years ago. My ex-girlfriend liked the play, but I’d never seen it. Loved the movie. Loved the play, once I got around to seeing it. But until this was recommended to me by a dear friend, I never once thought of it in the context of fandom. And werewolves! 

20. World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile | Les Mis | 185k

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.

“I need a favor,” he says at last. 

"With what?" says Grantaire. "Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I'd be awesome at cults, I just know it." He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. "I love chanting, I look great in robes—" 

Heather Says: The thing about high school AUs that no one ever tells you is that as you grow up, one of two things happens. Either the high school AU in question triggers a massive influx of nostalgia that basically cripples you emotionally or it has you cringing away from the screen, groping blindly until you can ex out of the tab. I’m happy to say that this one is more of the former.

21. despite what you’ve been told by @caseyvalhalla | Yuri On Ice | 14k

When Victor falls, he goes down hard.

Heather Says: All I wanted out of the Yuri On Ice fandom was a good, long in-depth look at the inside of Victor’s brain. This is the fic where I got it.

22. these things take time by sonhoedesrazao | Les Mis | 63k

He’s always wary of making assumptions; even more so when Grantaire is concerned. He knows he’s not the easiest person to deal with. People either like him or can’t stand him, and it’s easy to respond to those reactions, but Grantaire—Grantaire is hostile and mocking, Grantaire scorns his beliefs, and Grantaire stays.

Heather Says: This fic soothed my soul during a particular rough patch this year. There are dates and misunderstandings and some pretty intense UST and it’s just wonderful all around.

23. Watercast by @fishwrites | Voltron | 113k

Shiro has been a Galra prisoner for over a year; with his flight feathers clipped and unable to fly. Desperate to escape, he jumps overboard while being transported to the capitol on a Galran ship. Lance is a merman who saves him from drowning. Keith thinks Shiro is about to become mermaid dinner. Hunk just wants Lance to stop going to the surface all the time, dammit!

Heather Says: When the most recent chapter of this came out, I ended up going back and rereading it, because I was on the beach, and it seemed like a really good time to read about mermen and flying bird people and I am just. So excited for this fic all over again.

24. Fifteen Men in September by ballantine | Black Sails | 34k

Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

A Black Sails origin story for the song.

Heather Says: I stopped watching Black Sails after the end of season one, because there was a lot of things that we were watching at the time, and it was the one to get cut. I don’t even remember how this fic got recced to me, but I’m thrilled that it did because it’s made me go back and keep watching.

25. Patience on a Monument by betts | Game of Thrones | 21k

Having a Jaime in your life means living in a soap opera, except you can’t DVR it to watch later, and the main character sometimes ends up in your guest bedroom for an undisclosed period of time because he has a woefully codependent relationship with his sister.

Heather Says: It’s. So. Good.