#datingsimoc

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OC Review: Ida North

Reviewed by: Mod Charle

I’m gonna be completely honest here... This thing took so long to do.

Sorry for the sketchy quality!

This art is pretty nice and it does show a lot of Ida’s physique and the other aliens as well.

Okay, so she is the protagonist of an idea of a dating sim, that I will never do, or hardly ever, who knows, still, I like developing the characters...

The thing that’s so great about dating sims is that you can make them as weird and extravagant as you want and it can still flow because the premise of it is dating. However, the story will still have to be well thought out and the characters need to fit.

How it starts (its an excuse plot) YOU CAN SKIP READING THIS AND GO TO THE PREMISE

: The protagonist (Ida North) doesn’t get the job she wanted (either because she overslept or because she wasn’t accepted for not meeting all the qualifications) on a travel agency, so her best friend Mabel Attar, offers her a job in her workplace, a faraway Space Station, 

Well then. So Ida North is shown (so far) to be irresponsible due to oversleeping and she isn’t very organized or mature because she can’t meet the qualifications for her job. Her friend Mabel offers her a job at a space station? You probably need more clarity on what type of society they live in. Is this like an advanced world where aliens and space are both well known to mankind?

Ida NEEDS the money, so she isn’t gonna waste her time questioning her best friends or suspecting anything shady so she accepts immediately, after all, she isn’t going to spend all her life mooching on Mabel and eating College Student food...

I’m a little confused. So Ida basically lives on Earth while Mabel lives on a faraway space station? Long distance is fine but I mean it would be difficult for Ida to mooch on Mabel. And she’s still eating College Student food? Not gonna lie, that’s a pretty sad life.

On the way there, Mabel tells Ida that she will love her job, that is well paid, and she will soon forget about her Travel Agency desired job, and that she also started with that job, however, it turns out that the job is nothing more than being a glorified janitor, having to clean up rooms and collecting things so other’s could study them, work that could be easily done by machinery, but isn’t because Mabel asked for it so Ida could have the job, Ida suspects that Mabel has more power on the Space Station than what she says.

Mabel is either a god-awful friend giving Ida a janitor job, or a dang good one. Mabel is powerful if she has control of jobs on the Space Station and I really wonder how the two became friends at all if their lives are so different. A well paying janitor job is well near impossible to have, but if Mabel is the all powerful front runner of the station, I’ll let this one slide.

One day, when she enters a room, a massive amphibianish alien, also encounters Ida and is enthusiastic about her presence, very enthusiastic in face, he starts playing with her, nuzzling her, however Ida isn’t taking any of this and knocks a pair of his teeth with a metal bar, 

Where’d the metal bar come from?

making it clear that she isn’t a helpless damsel in distress, and swings the bar at the alien menacingly, but he just places his claw on her body, holding her and making eye contact, or something, and taking off her uniform to keep it.

The alien strips her? That’s a little erotic, but I mean it is a dating sim. 

I find this really confusing, however. You didn’t give a good background on how society is. Are aliens a normal thing? It was made clear that there is advanced extraterrestrial knowledge due to the space station, but are aliens normal? The alien just randomly jumps on Ida so I’m not sure if aliens are seen as friends or dangerous creatures, or if they’re even known to mankind.

** Side note, I would like to know how Ida was allowed to go up to the space station without training. Like, space is dangerous.

The next day, when Ida and Mabel go to a cafe nearby to celebrate Ida’s first week, and Mabel tells Ida that one of the aliens has escaped, but she shouldn’t worry about it too much, because it probably wasn’t her fault but Mabel would have to retrieve the alien back to its room, and a young looking (about late 20′s) guy, approaches Ida and tackles her, the guy despite looking skinny is actually really heavy, and leaves footprints whenever he walks so its really uncomfortable for Ida, who has no idea of this guy, but they guy just enthusiastically tells Ida that he is going to help her with her dream job and everything, because he wants to make her happy, he introduces himself as Keith Gatti and keeps rambling on very enthusiastically...

I would have been super surprised if someone randomly tackled me. Did Ida at least try to fight back? She is strong so I just want to know if she at least fought back against Keith and tried to kick him off of her.

... It turns out, Keith is the alien that has gone missing, and he really has become infatuated with Ida, but since only Ida, Keith and Mabel know about this, Mabel decides to help them both, and tells Ida that she could, introduce the earth to Keith, and eventually a bunch of other aliens, like a tour guide of sorts, while also developing a growing affection...

So Ida is supposed to introduce the aliens to life on earth, orders from Mabel. There’s nothing wrong with this, and in fact I think it’s a pretty good way to get the story flowing into a dating sim. Background information, like I mentioned earlier, is key, however.

Okay that it, now we cut to the important part (there might be fluff): Premise: The protagonist has to introduce the earth to a bunch of aliens so their plant and earth can form an allyship, while also developing a romance with them.

This is probably the background information I’m looking for, but I feel as if there would be more knowledge about aliens if the society they live in wants to form an allyship with an alien planet. 

And now the OC stuff: Name: Ida North Meaning of name: Id: from the Germanic word “id”: Work, labor Age: 30 D.O.B: March 26th (Aries) Height: 1 Meter 75 Centimeters, or 5 feet 9 inches Type of body: Mesomorph Hair style and color: Celebi/Onion style with antennae like fringe, red with brown streaks (dyed) Eye shape and color: Deep set, brown Build: Muscular, beefy Voice: Orotund, rough Romantic and Sexual Orientation: Bi for both

She’s a very muscular and strong woman, who is actually already 30. She is really different from your usual dating sim girl. Most girls, I believe would either be in their teens or early 20′s. However, I suppose her age does work out since she is supposed to be helping out aliens, and teens aren’t exactly the type for that. 

A resume of her personality: Grumpy, snarky, and a bit sour, Ida seems like your typical jaded person, who has lost all faith in the world, but this couldn’t be further from the truth, since Ida loves the earth and appreciates the beauty of nature and technology, though due to her insecurities and bad experiences she hides her love with layers and layers of jerk.

I could definitely see Ida being the type of person to care for a lot of things, but hide it all behind a facade. Is there a reason for her to hide herself, though? Having insecurities as bad as her don’t usually pop up out of nowhere.

Personality traits: Snarky: Whether in a good mood or a bad mood, Ida always seems to convey her thoughts in a good dose of irony and sarcasm Rash: Ida doesn’t usually think about the consequences of her actions, and oftenly acts on a whim, only caring about the now Strong Willed: She isn’t going to give up on anything Hardworking: When she has to do something, she does it with whole dedication Appreciative: She loves the world, and its beauty, and how it stays strong, despite everything Insecure: She doesn’t think highly of herself Aggressive: She conveys her insecurity this way Adventurous: She loves new experiences and challenges, she isn’t afraid of the future, but rather a lack of future

At first I was a little iffy about Ida being insecure and strong willed/hardworking at the same time. There isn’t an easy way to connect these without heavy amounts of character development and such. However, you did mention that Ida conveys her insecurity through aggressiveness, and not the other personalities. 

I do have one issue though, and that is her lifestyle compared to her personality. She was previously said to be in a bad position where she oversleeps and has her life in a mess, yet she is hardworking. This doesn’t connect. If she was hardworking, she wouldn’t miss a job interview for anything, especially if it’s a dream job. 

Relationships: 

With Mabel: They have been best friends since very young, and they often confide each other’s secrets, Mabel also wants to help Ida with her quest. Although she may have a secret crush on her.

I would honestly like to see Mabel be a path for this dating sim. Just me? Ok.

With Keith: He is the first alien she meets and one of the most effusive and enthusiastic about the earth, he often shows a lot of affection towards Ida, though he has toned down the touchy feeliness and tries to keep a reasonable distance. Not that he won’t hug Ida every now and then, in both his alien and human form.

He’s a good depiction for the first route in the dating simulator. Having a bubbly and outgoing character compared to Ida’s tough character is a pretty fun match and would keep the game interesting.

With Drake: Drake is the second alien that meets Ida, they started with a rough fight that Ida barely won, he respects her now, but has drawn lines she is not allowed to cross. Although he is willing to see if she wants to cross those lines and to fight her.

Drake is a tiny little alien, and is smaller than Ida, so I would understand how Ida would be able to beat him in a fight. However, it is a little inaccurate to have Ida beat Drake given that he is an alien. More clarification on the strength of this alien species and their abilities would be more beneficial, just as extra background information.

With Caleb: Despite their initial interactions, being scarce and in the shadows, they have found themselves fond of each other, and having similar yet different tastes, but only think of themselves as friends. Or in the case of Caleb, he sees her as food, but he has another reason, rather than wanting a snack, something having to do with his species and fatherhood, although he is trying not to because he appreciates her company.

Ida’s relationship with Caleb is super confusing not gonna lie. They have a friendship going, but Caleb does see Ida as food? Again, more clarification on the alien species themselves would be beneficial in understanding the different types of aliens we come across. Caleb is also giant and scary as hell.

With Xander: He wants Ida to open a bit up more, and often opts for her security and comfort, wanting others to see them as each other’s protector, and he is willing to hear her most inner desires and insecurities. Although he also feels insecure and has shown a jealous streak.

I actually like the relationship between Xander and Ida. It’s good to have different personalities in dating sims, and you really nailed this. 

With Shiro and Kuro: Shiro and Kuro are two eerily coordinated security guards that watch how the relationships develop, and both would love to have Ida as a guinea pig every now and then.

This might be a little unnecessary to have, but if you elaborate on Shiro and Kuro’s significance in the story, it would be better. They are supposed to watch over and guard, but for a dating sim, they aren’t necessary, UNLESS, the society still sees aliens as dangerous. Again, background information is KEY.

Other stuff** -She is an A cup and wears a pushup bra -She is not a vegetarian but would rather eat veggie food than hamburgers and hotdogs, she DESPISES them -She has gardening knowledge -She has gone camping several times. She LOVES camping -She had a dog, who died of old age -She has travelled by air, land, and sea -She knows English, German, Spanish, and Portuguese, she is currently learning French -Her favorite flowers are buttercups

She has a flat chest. Wow. But I’m not surprised about this looking at her physique. The second bullet point technically means she is a vegetarian if she despises meats. 

I hope you like it, and if you are interested, I might do the profilies of the four main boys, and maybe Mabel and Kuro and Shiro

This was overall, a pretty decent story given the amount of work that needs to go into a good story. There are some good points in this dating sim idea, but there are also a lot of fixes that need to be made; a lot of them being major. However, with these fixes I mentioned, this could potentially be a very good idea. 

I wouldn’t mind looking at the other profile characters, but it may take a while to get it back to you since they are fairly long. This took me a while to write just because of the mix of grammar and length.

Thank you for submitting/reading, and I hope this helps! (●´ω｀●)

~ Mod Charle