#dash watching. Cryptid watch

[ghosthuntcr]

"Hmm... Well, it is my job to investigate these things! And you never know, sometimes even the most wild rumors can turn out to be true!"

[r3ynah]

Barbiefied

dcxdp oneshot

Do you know how Barbie herself is such an icon that she works multiple jobs impossible for regular people?

Well, Danny's like that, but less of an icon and more of an eldritch cryptid—no one's that iconic than Barbie herself—he says.

Nevertheless, Danny after living in Amity Park for most of his life, grew bored and Jazz decided that it would do him good to move out for the sake of his mental health. But the only problem is Danny possesses a serious case of a hero complex.

I guess being a vigilante at the age of 14 has finally caught up to him—oh, well

He couldn't risk leaving Amity Park behind fearing that something would happen if he weren't there to act as the city's unloved vigilante later on, the next day Dani had visited him back from one of her journeys, and then an idea hit him.

So here he is now, with at least 100 clones around the world working interesting jobs or just exploring as he stays at Amity Park, his mind working at maximum speed as he devours every single memory made by his clones, Danny's honestly having a great time. He even gained friends from exploring and Regulars from his different Jobs!

Hal Jordan was baffled, it was the fourth time he had seen this boy Danny this week and it was only Tuesday, he was grabbing lunch at Chipotle and he came face to face with the same guy he ordered pizza from yesterday, his gaze never leaving the boy as he paid quietly and directly leaving the establishment, He must've been tired he thought to himself.

'You're just overreacting it's normal for people to have more than two jobs Hal, great that boy must think I'm a creep ' Hal said as he turned to a corner only to bump into someone.

" I'm so sorry, i wasn't looking-" he cut himself off as he faced the person he crashed into, there again was Danny— the same Danny he just saw not even a minute ago.

"It's alright" Danny said sheepishly. "Don't worry about it, I was also paying attention to where i was walking" and then he was out of sight dashed away from a stunned Hal.

"Danny? what are you doing here" Tim asked flabbergasted as he eyed the black haired boy in front of him.

"Oh- Hey Tim, I work here" Danny greeted casually as he pressed the buttons of the cash register in preparation "the usual?" he asked

"Why?" Tim asked confused,

Danny looked at him with a questioning look "Why what?"

"I mean— why are you working here?"

"For money?" Danny said unsure "I don't have enough to pay my bills and college tuition"

"You intern for me! I pay you." Tim stated clearly offended, he had the right to be, he gave money to interns generously, and alongside that Danny had a scholarship that provides allowances so he's pretty sure the boy in front of him is doing fine.

"Hey, inflation's a bitch" Danny shrugged "So the usual?" he asked again

Tim just sighed and nodded, This is just a problem he'll take care of later.

Little did he know, it was also everyone else's problem.

Constantine was rubbing his palms together nervously as he watched Zatanna chant the few words of the spell.

Just the other day Superman used his x-ray vision trying catch an assailant from a robbery who hid from him hiding amongst the jungle of cement buildings that is Metroplis, then he saw it a giant Lazarus pit that was below the Earth's surface hidden from the world that seemed to have a mind of it's own eating everything in its way including the Earth's core just to reach the surface to create havoc, without the core and its mass the planet will become unstable, and with it approaching the surface it'll endanger the people and environment leading to unimaginable catastrophes, so with no time to lose he immediately sought out Batman who then called an emergency meeting where they talked amongst themselves on how to solve this crisis.

And here he was currently surrounded by heroes that just look as nervous as he was.

Why were they nervous? oh it's nothing their just summoning THE HIGH KING PHANTOM OF THE INFINITY REALMS,

That he only just learned about this guys existence from Deadman and secret out of all people when they were asked why they didn't say anything earlier they said they couldn't talk about the realms without the permission of their king, so with enough pressure from their peers, they looked at each other with a hint of fear and uncertainty in their eyes and took the initiative in going to the infinity realms to request from the king himself, when they arrived before the king he only gave them a scroll that once used either successfully or unsuccessfully it will disintegrate leaving nothing behind to ever contact the ruler again, bidding both of the dead heroes goodbye and to send the message on his behalf.

When they returned back from the realm of the dead Deadman's aura was brighter than when they came in, relaying information and the scroll to Batman which he then passed to Zatanna— Constantine had a feeling Batman didn't trust him to lead with this summoning, but to be fair he didn't trust himself either, so yeah, Zatanna it is.

While they prepared the materials, he noticed Nightwing had made his way towards Secret to ask—interrogate— about Phantom, and Secret who also returned from the realms with a little bit of tension out of her shoulders only looked at the Vigilante and uttered the word "merciful" and then she was gone made herself intangible, along with Deadman.

Turning his attention away from the disappointed bird and onto the Summoning circle, he just hoped that this wouldn't backfire on them after all they only had a single chance.

So here they are back at the present, just in time for Zatanna to back away from the summoning circle as it glowed ominously green the same kind of shade that the pits emitted, suspense and nervousness flooded the room as blinding light came out of the circle temporarily making them look away, when the light finally diminished they faced the king.

There stood a very familiar face, standing between the summoning circle, even with the uncanny inverted colors his appearance was alike.

"Danny?!" Flash jumped, making everyone turn to him.

''Hi" Danny waved casually, in his full royal attire that somewhat looked like a very fancy jester's outfit with the hat getting replaced by a crown that floated ominously a few inches above from his head, a cape that seemed to be a piece torn and sewed carefully from space itself tiny meteoroids that moved inside of it, and a ring that stole everyone's attention with how much power it radiated.

"You know Danny?" Superman asked surprised.

"He's my tailor" Flash replied

"You are?" Green Lantern looked at Danny

"I am" Danny confirmed, with a nod

"How do you know him?" Flash questioned Superman back.

"He's my wife's intern, a little strange but he does his job well" Superman exclaimed

"I'm like right here."

"You're his wife's intern??" Robin said accusingly with a tone annoyance laced in his tone

"I am" Phantom replied smugly like working for Lois Lane was the best thing that ever happened to him, which was absolutely correct.

"Don't you work at Batburger?"

"Yep, but I quit, tried retailing instead"

"How about The Aquarium?"

"There too"

"Even the Zoo"

"Uh huh, I did that."

"And I'll assume that you're also the High King Phantom?" Batman interjected, making everyone fall silent and immediately realize once again who was the person standing in front of them,

This kid in front of them was the King of the infinity realms, the most powerful being that ever existed, the one that struck even the Gods with fear so unbearable to carry.

"Damn, did the crown, ring and inverted colors give it out?" Danny grinned cheekily, and for the first time they ever interacted with him, his aloof and unbothered behavior vanished, what replaced it was something more frightening "Shall we begin?" he asked.

Constantine now understood why Secret and Deadman vanished, with the way his presence screamed capability, authority, and power.

This was Phantom, not Danny. And being away from Phantom was mercy itself.

[soarrenbluejay]

Supervillains for a community. (Well, except those jerks over in Gotham, insular lot, but they’re they’re one problem) Of course they do- supervillains are a group defined by strong opinions and a willingness to see them through, often with a healthy dash of societal failures and trauma as a catalyst.

The fentons, while not active even on the online message boards, are well known and explosive when they do show up, full of fascinating insights and hours long rants on mad science on hair pin turns courtesy of that ADHD attention span. Bit of the cryptids you feel honored to bump into kind of deal. Besides, like a good quarter of the community as it aged, they’d settled down and had kids (not necessarily in that order) and taken it very seriously! Out in the middle of nowhere, where even the most fearsome government outpost members, the local branch of the IRS, quake before them in fear. Out of the way.

Reveal gone okay-ish, Danny moves to Gotham still to get some air bc now things are Akward and he landed that engineering scholarship which is loads better than any other college would give him with his track record. So- the mysterious Fenton children are finally crawling out of hiding! Everyone is psyched! And roll in to Gotham en masse to witness the fireworks!

Except Danny is Determined To Be Normal. He’s had enough of the throwing himself into harms way shit for a lifetime- he wants to be free to peacefully built Rube Goldberg machines and unintentional increasingly complex bombs to his hearts content. JAZZ, on the other hand- the coveted token Normal One, has finally snapped! She’s watched her baby brother she practically raised throw himself into danger over and over and could do nothing, and now that she’s exposed to this whole network of superheroes outside of small town Amnity, some of those uglier emotions are coming out. And boy is she pissed! And can’t afford to show it much while filing the paperwork to have Arkham legally razed to the ground!

See I love this idea of like, niches in superhero society. A villain the heroes know they can plop their kiddo down with for an exciting afternoon brawl while they take care of a particularly grisly case and come back to a few hours later ranting about some new life lesson and a new move they really want to try. A villain who has a functioning moral compass despite their somewhat batshit long term goal and you can contact to fuck with another villains’s plan so they can laugh at them and you can have an easy afternoon. One who pries up hostile architecture and fills in pot holes, idk man. Get creative here, there’s such potential!

So Jazz becomes a Training villain- someone the heroes know their sidekicks will walk away from in a fight 100% of the time, usually with some new lesson to ponder and only a couple of bruises. Sometimes even snacks!

She also absolutely ambushes mentors to check that they’re worth the kiddo, which they appreciate once they get over being jumped in a dark alley by a 7 foot Amazon trained force of nature. They are not used to being on that side of the jumping, it’s a little unnerving.

(Yes, she low key adopts Shazam upon checking in with him on cursory ‘is the main hero of this city and asshole’ checkin. Yes, the super clones get yoinked out from under Superman’s negligent thumb to go have a blast with Ellie. What about it?)

This however only encourages more assorted weirdos to crawl out of the woodwork. It’s not often one of their own forfeits their potential spot for the running of the coveted Most Normal I Swear prize, but when they do it’s bound to be good! But jazz is off hounding various heroes and punching the faces in of pedophiles and shit whenever there’s no cape within easy reach, and so is a mite bit harder to contact than Danny, who has innocently gotten an apprenticeship under a clockworker for access to their workshop and is gleefully going about doing nerdy shit with great abandon.

Plus this is Gotham. No one gives a shit if someone in the Mad Alchemist uniform and still smoking from their latest experiment pokes their head in a window to bother the local shrimp teen- none of the usual social rules apply, everyone’s crazy here! So everyone drops any and all attempts at masking and just acts their genuine unhinged selves, much to the alarm of the Bats and frustration of Danny.

Bc he cannot get these mfers to go. Away. Even liberal use of the creep stick has little effect when the interloper is calibrated for an opponent with super speed or laser vision or whatever, and he’s trying to maintain his guise as a Normal College Student Do No Investigate.

So he calls in the big guns. He’s not super active in the supervillain kids group chat ever since things in amnity calmed the fuck down post becoming King and then immediately using a loophole that says he will not take the throne until he is grown, as defined by finishing learning his trade a la the medieval standards Pariah set up. So he can just take his sweet ass time with his graduate degree and out of inter dimensional bull shit that much longer! Point is, he hasn’t taken the chance to rant over there in a while, so his Crazy friends are getting a lil worried.

The change to come over and shout at their batshit crazy but (mostly) well meaning parent AND see Danny? Score!

The bats, however, are getting awfully suspicious about this one kid that villains from all over the country are flocking to, especially young and upcoming ones as of recently! And he’s acting his engineering course- all the worst rogues are known to have flown through their PhD studies prior to Cracking. They seem to have a real problem on their hands with this Fenton guy.

[daughterofheartshaven]

It (was) My Birthday!

So I meant to post this on my actual birthday (which was was like two weeks ago at this point) but uh it wasn't done in time and then I got distracted and anyway you're getting this now.

Anyway, I just survived another year! Yippee! On my birthday I often think of the following quote from Babylon 5's season 4 opener:

It was the year of rebirth, the year of great sadness, the year of pain, and the year of joy

Because (for me at least) that's kind of my life. In this last year alone, I:

graduated college

got an adult job for the first time

started estrogen

got vaguely suicidal for the first time since COVID

worked out I have even more neurological disabilities

officiated a wedding

oh yeah and got Tumblr

And like those are all experiences that will stick with me for a long time and... if you'd told me beforehand that getting Tumblr was going to effect my life as much if not more than taking estrogen, I... I'm not sure I would have believed you.

But it has, because I have met the most wonderful people here. I have a fantastic group of mutuals and I wanna take a moment, for my birthday, to celebrate some of them.

First of all, a big shout out to @ostrich-runner, @lazybard, @cryptid-comrade, and @cowboy-cosmonaut for peer-pressuring me into getting Tumblr in the first place, and @threepigeonsinamechsuit, @mail-me-to-hell, and @bitchcentralstation for helping me get situated here as well. You are really the most wonderful people, and I love you all deeply.

And now, in order of when I followed them...

@the-worms-in-your-bones Worms, you were one of the first people I found on Tumblr, the first person to encourage me that my takes and ideas had value here, and to this day one of my dearest friends on this website. I love your analysis, I love your animal thoughts, and I love having you on my dash.

@thebraxiatelcollection April, I love your takes and thoughts on the DWEU - perhaps unsurprisingly, especially the Bernice Summerfield end of it. You also have this... I guess maturity is the right word about discussing your feelings on the franchise as a whole that I have a lot of respect for. Also if I may be remarkably shallow, the fact that I am mutuals with someone who has wrote a licensed Bernice Summerfield story is so cool.

@familyparadox It's always so much fun talking about Doctor Who expanded universe stuff with you, because you've been in as much of the weeds as I have but very often different weeds so we're coming at these conversations with different backgrounds. It's really delightful and a great way to get new perspectives on the Whoniverse.

@mintyimperiatrix Alongside Worms, you were one of the first people to interact with me on Tumblr, and you gave me some much-needed encouragement that I was welcome in the community. I will never not be grateful for that.

@nitronine Data, we've not interacted very much, but when we have, you have consistently been a kind and caring person to me. I love seeing your posts about the VNAs, as a fellow VNA fan, and seeing your posts about the Eighth Doctor Adventures as a to-be-EDA-fan-once-I-finally-get-around-to-reading-them. Also while I was writing this I was looking at your blog and I found your art tag and your art is very cool, too!

@natequarter Nate, you have some excellent Sarah Jane Smith takes, some excellent literature recommendations, and a lot of delightfully unhinged commentary. You're also consistently down to engage in my shenanigans and that is so wonderful and delightful.

@riversofmars Finding another Liv Chenka fan - one who does some kickass fanart no less - was a moment of pure joy. I love occasionally talking Liv with you. Also while I haven't watched Arcane yet, I still want to, and I promise I will let you know when I do!

@dykebeckett Ace, you've been such a friendly and welcoming presence on Tumblr and I super appreciate that! You're just delightful to talk to, and I love how you post about some of me and my roommates biggest hyperfixations (Doctor Who and Dragon Age).

@electronickryptonitegladiator I see you do a dedicated go-through my blog every so often, and it always makes me happy to see you there. Also, your thoughts on Faction Paradox are super fun and always lovely to see!

@toaasted-bread Alien, I'm pretty sure you were the person who got me into the Gallifrey fandom proper, and that's been wonderful. You have also been super enthusiastic about explaining other special interests of yours to me, and it has been so exiting whenever that can happen. It is always so fun to talk to you about whatever we find to talk about!

@acertainmoshke / @presidentdisastraofgallifrey Mosh, I... I don't know what I can say that I haven't said already, but. You are one of my closest friends. Ever. I love you deeply, and the fact that we're really only known each other for like six months blows my mind. You are such an important part of my life now, and I'm so glad you are here in it.

@gotyouanyway Ali, you were one of the key people involved in getting me settled in the Gallifrey fandom, and I really appreciate that. I've also been having a lot of fun seeing your reacts to media I'm less familiar with - you're unintentionally doing a very good job plugging a certain animated show to me right now...

@stopmyhearts Jae, you are an absolute pillar of the community. You are always so welcoming, so open, and so caring. And on a more personal level, you have always been super direct in encouraging me to share my thoughts, and I always love seeing yours. That I get to call you amongst my friends is both an honor and an absolute delight, and it is a friendship I deeply hope will last a long, long time.

@tenthirty-s-bastards Bill, I'm gonna be intentionally a little vague here, but we've had a couple good connections and I value them quite a bit. It's always a pleasure.

@rosemaryrubiginosa Freya, I love all of the zine stuff when you talk about it! I think that's super cool and I love your passion and enthusiasm for it and the more I learn the cooler it gets. Also the art you have posted is super incredibly cool!

@the-fuckwizard Sam, you will just post about the most random things and have the most random takes (relative to the rest of my feed at least) and it adds this delightful little chaotic spice to my following page that I really appreciate. Thank you for that! (Also I love being able to say that "the Fuckwizard" posted this or that to people it's great).

@shiftofgallifrey Shift, you have these wonderful different perspectives. I love it when we can talk about things, especially when we disagree. It is always a pleasure to learn new things about different perspectives and thoughts through our conversations.

@okaystoptellingmetomakeanaccount I do not remember why we started following each other, but you are the Ducks Person on my dash, and that has actually become such an important part of my dash. It's not complete without the ducks. Thank you for providing the ducks.

@kovacs-on-ice Kovacs, our encouragement about how much you like my stuff... I can't express in words how much it means to me and gives me motivation to keep going and doing the stuff I do. You're super rad and I supper appreciate you!

@squid-in-the-tardis Squid, you provide this lovely assortment of things for my dash. It gives it some nice variety without, like, pulling up posts that are things I would want to avoid. Also you're a squid and that's really cool.

@gracefelldownaflightofstairs / @graceburntdownthekitchen Grace, you're delightful in conversations about Romana and the Gallifrey things, but I need to give a special shout-out your cosplays! They are wonderful and I'm so glad you've posted some photos of them.

@rassilonsleftbollock You go out of your way to provide such a welcoming, accepting space in your blog, and I want you to know that is seen and appreciated. Also most of my friends aren't really into the Deca as a concept so it's fun to have a Deca friend.

@rihagoesrawr Riha, you are a fantastic person. I know you don't believe me here, so let me just say that again. You are a fantastic person. You're so much fun to talk to about various DW EU things, and it's also lovely to talk about video games every so often, too.

@cousin-quartz-of-house-paradox Quartz, this is a deep pull, but your analysis of Bev Tarrant specifically is so, so wonderful and fascinating. You elevated Bev from a character I like to one I adore. Your thoughts on the rest of the Benny cast have been wonderful as well!

@oswinoswald15 Lucero, you always have the most interesting questions about my headcanons. Getting a question or ask from you is always super exiting and I'm very grateful that you give me the chance to talk about my thoughts in the way you do. It means a lot to me.

@autisticzoeheriots Robin, I love seeing your thoughts on Nyssa and Zoe specifically - your perceptions of those two characters line up with mine pretty well and you have these delightful little insights that make me go "oh! I didn't think of that!" Also yes Zoe is autistic forever.

@catscancook I don't know if this will make sense, but I love scrolling around on your blog because of how curated it feels. I dunno what you're doing, but you have the like exact amount of reblogs and original posts and things that just makes me really happy. I also really like seeing your Yaps when they come up too - you always have interesting thoughts.

@smallerontheoutside Lyssa. Arthur. I am so, so glad that we met each other and have been interacting more. You have these wonderful thoughts and insights, and it is always super wonderful to talk with you. You are my friend, and I definitely look forward to many more interactions in the future.

@sanscest69 You are just so kind and welcoming and that's a really wonderful energy and I really appreciate that and knowing where I can find it. Thank you.

@clowns0cks Joey, I love the level of depth you take your character analysis of the Master. I can always see the routes you are taking and I love that and it is so so interesting and always a joy to see.

@the-oracle-of-the-lost Charlie, I love your insights and analysis, but I need to give a special shout-out to the suicidal-hubristic/bastard-clown charts you've been doing for the relisten. I love them so much. Also I appreciate your Star Trek posts too - I'm not as much of a fan, but I do have a very soft spot for DS9, so seeing you reblog and post DS9 stuff is another happy thing for me.

@inkwells-posts Inkwell, you have the most wonderful non-sequitur posts and bug facts. Thinking of you and blue bumblebees and being happy about it! Seriously, interacting with you has been delightful so far and I fully anticipate it to continue to be.

@mildlyinterestedcreature / @i-heart-heart-doctor-who Creature, we have had some great conversations about Doctor Who, but I also love seeing the other things you are into - it gives me such a good insight into a bunch of different medias I wouldn't be into at all otherwise, and I think that's really neat!

@lerios Rob, I love how different your takes on Gallifrey and so on are to mine. Like you take these characters in these directions you never would, but at no point have you been like "my way is the only correct way" so I feel safe talking with you and comparing/contrasting what we do with the characters. It's really wonderful and you're super nice and fun about it and I love that I can talk about this stuff with you so much.

@anonymousdandelion Dandelion, getting you into the Doctor Who expanded universe has been a delight and a privilege, and something I deeply hope I can continue to do! I love seeing your reacts and thoughts to everything.

[kyumisyumi]

Something something something eldritch Nikto something something something

I've sifted through so many ideas for this because I didn't wanna just pick a random eldritch creature from my box of horrors and slap Nikto's name on it. But also I don't feel like I have enough info about him(ironic, considering I write about him so much) to craft him into a creature. I watched some documentaries on eldritch horrors, dived into Russian cryptids and still drew blanks but here's what I managed

Rating: E for everyone who loves Nikto

Eldritch!Nikto x F!Reader

Word count: 1

Part 2

~Taking requests~

You weren't running from the consequences of your actions, more like briskly walking in the opposite directions. Looking forward all the way because backwards held the sounds of large dogs and angry men. Their boots cracking every twig and foliage along the way, voices interrupting the once peaceful ambiance of the woods. You could hardly tell whether the growling was from the hounds or the men. And really, who wouldn't want to run away from such a thing? Not run; walk. Quickly, very quickly. You were being smart, not cowardly.

No, never that.

You weren't cowardly when you snuck into that guardsman's post. You weren't cowardly when you tried to steal the gold he confiscated from the Miller's wife, the only woman that kept you fed while the streets were your home. You weren't cowardly when you defended yourself once he caught you. And you weren't cowardly when you accidentally bashed his head in with a clay pot. He should've worn a helmet, really. A guard should always have their helmet on! What was he thinking? Now look at you, running for your life and deluding yourself as if it would change the actions of the past.

Running.

You ran your mouth, ran your mind, but no matter how fast you moved, you couldn't outrun hunting dogs. Your fault, really, for trying to do so while wearing the long, ugly skirt you stole from someone's unattended clothesline. You should've maybe stolen the guard's old pants, you knew he had some because he mentioned wanting to give them to his nephew who was in combat training. Instead you dashed out the home the moment you realized he wasn't breathing, panicked by your first time taking a life. What were you thinking?

"I wasn't-" you spat a thick glob of blood out your mouth, it's red color staining the putrid black floor. Tears staining your vision and pain plaguing your mind. "I didn't mean to." You said it over and over again but it was little defense against men who'd lost a comrade because of you. A good man. A good man who stole from widows and bullied the elderly? It's weird how two people can look at the same person but see someone different. But that train of thought was halted by a kick to your stomach. And when one of the men took the final hit, the force of it sending you against the edge of the pit, you finally felt that feeling in your stomach. The one you hid away behind conversations with yourself. Locked away behind a naive expectation that things will either go your way or go away. Your first taste of true regret. Because you got a glimpse of where that attitude has lead you. That attitude that kept you going when your parents had left you. That attitude that kept you alive when your survival was in your own hands at an age where other children were being coddled and sung to. That attitude that protected you in the harsh village slum, now had you staring down into hell. 'The pit'; a giant hole defacing mother earth's perfect form. It's surface covered in black ichor, you couldn't tell whether the walls were moving or you'd been hit so hard your vision was thoroughly fucked. This was considered a punishment worse than death. Jokesters and troublemakers got a stern talking to. Thieves and crooks got jail time. Murders and adulterers got death. But the truly damned got the pit. The punishment didn't match the crime but judging by the hate filled glares of the men surrounding you, they didn't much care.

Or maybe they did care, they cared about you as much as you did yourself, these days.

That was a more comforting thought, maybe? Maybe not. Either way, thinking about it felt a whole lot better than thinking of the weightlessness you felt as you fell. Your vision quickly losing the greens and yellows of a gentle forest to being plunged into darkness. A darkness beyond description. One that surpassed what's seen when you close your eyes for the night. That surpassed the unconsciousness of sleep when dreams escaped you. A darkness that felt like death yet was somehow alive.

The walls were moving, they shifted uncomfortably as they felt the presence of another. Voices that whispered of uncertainty and conflict. Voices that yelled intruder and ones that yelled fodder. But one voice just hummed in curiosity at seeing the source of blood and spit and tears it tasted. He had consumed many of your kind but what little it had of you ignited interest rather than hunger. So it did not eat. Didn't wrap you in its tendrils and rip you apart into easily digestible pieces to be absorbed by its mass. The tendrils held you, confused by their many intentions and wants, before simply bringing you lower into the pit. To the very bottom that no other creature has ever seen. No other creature would ever be allowed near. Far too close to it's more vulnerable organs. But you wouldn't hurt it, would you? Wouldn't hurt them. Not with those blunt nails and teeth, not with those little limbs and severed ties to the natural order. You were weaker than it's weakest points yet you fought against his tendrils like you believed you could win. Struggled and resisted as if you had a fighting chance. 'Hush, little human.' It thought as it strangled you, only enough to render you unconscious. Give it enough time to build a prison home inside itself for you. Then build a form for himself more perceptible to your primitive eyes, he'd tried once before but the human face was so hard to mimic. There was so much anger inside you, more for yourself than for him. And Nikto couldn't understand it. There is only one 'you' inside that tiny, fleshy form. How can one be angry at their own/only self? That would be one of the first things he asked. He felt there was nothing a creature like you could teach him yet he had so much he wanted to ask regardless. Maybe once he had his answers he could finally consume you in peace. Maybe then the voices that called for him to spare you will quiet down. And the ones that screamed for him to bond with you will stop. Your body couldn't handle the things he desires... Could it?

Regardless, he has time. All the time in the world and beyond.

Silly human, getting yourself thrown down here, what were you thinking?

All in all, I didn't want to forget the eldritch and just make a monster.

[adhd-fandom-hyperfocus]

✧₊⁺ Gentle ✧₊⁺

Pairing: None

Arthur's Note: All the chatter about Primarchs and Astartes with babies got to me. Raserei was a father before he got locked in stasis and purged from the records. Before his home world and kingdom were destroyed. Father was the only title he held that he held deeply and cared about the most.

Summary: Some unassigned Primaris marines find an abandoned baby and look to the primarch leading them for help.

Warnings: General Grimdarkness. Proofread? Never heard of her

Tagging those who I saw all over my dash about this: @beckyninja @jaghatai-khock @cosmic-cryptid-from-beyond

★。------ ＼｜／------。★

The cry was shrill and like a desperate wail. The astartes quickly halted their move through the rubble and began to search for the small survivor who was desperately trying to make sure it was heard.

And thre under some rubble safe in it's mother's lasting embrace was a small babe, screaming for a mother who could no longer care for it as she gave herself to save them. There was a quiet, "oh no" from the Primaris who found the babe.

"Over here and don't be too loud." he said calmly.

His brothers made their way over and saw the answer for why they needed to be mindful of their voices. They didn't need to know anything about babies to understand that smaller often meant weaker. There was no telling what their booming voices could do to something so tiny. Throne it was so small.

"What...do we do? Emperor's mercy?" one asked.

The one who found the babe glared at his brother through his helm, "Are you insane, brother? Did you not hear what our lord with us did to a Black Templar for doing that? Rather fight Daemon Lords."

"Right, but how do we move it and stop it from crying? It's so tiny. Throne it can fit in my whole hand!" another said.

The founder of the babe sighed, "Do any of us here know how to pick up a child?"

They all looked around at each other bewildered, they knew many things when it came to violence and warfare, but how to pick a small baby up and not crush it? Well, it seemed the Codex Astartes didn't cover everything.

"How hard can it be? Just got to be gentle right?" the one who originally asked if they should end the babe's suffering figured.

"Longarson you are an idiot. How gentle, look at it! Throne what if crush it on accident, that would be worse."

"Can't be worse than screaming to death like it is now."

The three fell silent once again, before the finder spoke, "Emperor preserve us we are astartes! We got this, just need to bend down and do it. Easy."

"You got this Ulric." Longarson encouraged.

Ulric slowly knelt down and with care moved the mother's body away, the whole time uttering how small the baby was, and nothing should be this small. Why were human babies so small?! And over and over reminding himself to be gentle, and it wasn't going to be that hard.

The moment his cold gauntlet touched the babe, it wailed harder causing UIric to recoil and straighten up like he'd seen a ruinous god.

"Shit, I think I hurt it!"

"You barely touched it! If that hurt how do we move it?" the third asked now worried.

Before they could continue a massive gauntleted hand was on Ulric's shoulder, and the unmistakable aura of a primarch was upon them.

"Watch out, I got it." Raserei said calmly, allowing his adopted sons to move so he could kneel down.

The primarch smiled sadly at the babe, "Hey little one, I know you're scared and looking for momma," with ease and care he scooped the babe up and cradled it close, "I'm sorry momma can't be here, and my armor is so cold too." he spoke so softly to the little one.

How he made it look so easy, so natural. Was this the power all primarchs had? The babe was even slowly calming back down, being lulled by the cadence of Raserei's speaking and tone.

"Come we need to get back to our safe zone and the other survivors, maybe a woman there can help feed this one. They are tired and hungry." Raserei said, his gaze not leaving the babe in his arms.

It had been too long since he cradled a child. He missed it dearly. Holding his own children, cradling his nieces and nephews.

"We cannot feed them, My Lord?" Lonarson asked with clear confusion.

Raserei began to walk, snorting and holding in the bellowing laugh he wanted to let out, "Do you they really teach you Astartes nothing but war?" before they could answer he continued, "No, we do not have the means to in many ways. But in regards to which I speak now, none of us here have the...parts. Unless there is something they do to you I am not aware of."

His adopted sons looked at each other lost, and Raserei sighed, "I will explain back at the safe zone."

The Astartes keep looking at the babe as they move, still going on about how small they were and how easy Raserei made it look. Lamenting they couldn't hold the baby, and how holding one would make them look bigger, stronger even. Also would look good for the civilians.

"Lord, when we get back...can you show us?" Ulric asked.

Raserei had an idea of what he meant, it was such an innocent question to come from such a hulking figure. It pained him, but also brought him joy.

"I can, but the little one might want to sleep, and we do not want to overdo it with them, yes?" Raserei explained.

"They will need a place to rest then. They can stay with me." the third Astartes chimed in.

"Thorne it is. I will rest with me. I shall hold it with great care and guard it." Ulric snapped.

"Brother you couldn't even pick it up earlier." Longarson pointed out

"But I'm going to learn." he pointed out.

Longnar snorted, "Assuming after I learn I let either of you two hold them."

Raserei rolled his eyes under his helm and looked back down at the babe, "What are we going to do with them? Hm? Never thought I would be teaching grown men these things...guess I'm a father again after all."

[lingerina]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀KINKTOBER⠀//⠀day three

➤ PROMPT degradation ➤ 947 words ➤ vampire!taeyeon x fem!reader ➤ brief mentions of blood, spanking, squirting ➤ exploring abandoned properties can reap severe orgasms consequences.

Goosebumps prick your skin as you cautiously make your way through the dark, massive castle. Your fight or flight senses are on high alert, just like they would be at any severely aged building that’s standing on its last hinges. It’s not because you’re concerned about ghosts like the locals are. You’re more concerned about possible wildlife and random dwellers that may emerge from around the corner.

More logical explanations for the little noises.

You dance the fine line between fascination and delusion. While you’re intrigued by urban legends and run-down places that are off the grid, you wouldn’t definitively say ghosts and cryptids are real.

You would love to believe in them the way locals do because they seem to get an inexplicable high whenever they think they captured evidence of a mythical creature. You want to experience that level of euphoria too, but logic keeps you grounded. Unless you actually come face to face with these “legends”, you will always find a logical reason for what you see. 

But just because you’re logical doesn’t mean you’re fearless.

You’ve heard talks about a haunted castle somewhere past the train tracks. The city has allegedly attempted to restore the abandoned property to its original glory, but never completed the project because reports of shadow figures and eerie noises forced the construction workers to flee. It wasn’t enough to keep them away forever because they would return on multiple occasions to finish remodeling.

That is until a fateful encounter would leave the restoration in ruins, and the workers vowing to never return.

Every little noise draws you to a pause. You would stop in your tracks to scan your surroundings, shining your flashlight in the general direction of the disruption. Every time, you are met with an empty corner occupied by cobwebs and spiders.

The hair on your nape suddenly stands, followed by a chill running down your spine when you reach the third floor. You can only equate the sensation to feeling like someone is watching you from afar. You grip your flashlight tighter and shine it all around you, spinning in erratic circles in one spot to cover all your ground and confirm that you’re alone.

You take a deep breath to ease your racing heart, mildly relieved to see nothing else lurking in the distance. 

That is, until you turn around to continue forward and come face-to-face with a woman standing just a mere foot in front of you, a maniacal grin flashing some fangs and marring her pretty but deathly pale face.

“You humans always underestimate us.”

Catching your breath is difficult when your chest is pressed against the wall and her hand is squeezing your nape. She had torn through your panties, half of the garment draping over your hip in tatters, and worked her fingers into your dripping cunt. Your adrenaline rush only got you so far because despite the head start in your race towards the door, the pretty woman–Taeyeon–seemed to have dashed behind you with inhuman speed.

And now here she is, flexing her impenetrable strength as she fucks you with her fingers. She swears up and down that she’s a 400-year-old vampire who rarely emerges from her dark quarters but you instantly dismiss it. Vampires are not real. She just happens to run at the speed of light, is as pale as a sickly Victorian child who has never seen sunlight, and has the most prominent fangs you have ever seen on a person.

Vampires are not real.

Your moans echo through the abandoned estate as your dripping cunt is at the mercy of her brisk pace, her knuckles brushing past your slick folds with each thrust. Your knees are buckling from the pleasure as you feel her so deep inside you. What began as one of your usual adventures to appease your curiosity took a turn, and the warmth in the pit of your stomach morphed your fear and concerns into a burning need for this “vampire” to bring you to ecstasy.

“Can’t escape now, huh?”

Taeyeon suddenly shoves her fingers in deep. Her laugh rings through your ears, engraving into your memory while the abrupt pause haunts you.

“This should teach you a lesson.”

You yelp after she spanks you. The swats that continue to follow after merges your cries and moans. You can barely focus on her words as she reprimands you through pleasurably painful means.

“You curious humans are a plague,” she hisses, bringing a hand down to your buttock and squeezing it harshly. “Stupid enough to explore these places with no sense of danger. You just can’t leave things alone, can you?”

Your eyes roll back as she forces her way back into you, dainty digits thrusting so quickly and preventing you from adjusting to the intrusion again. You’re relieved to have the wall act as balance because you’d be sinking to your knees right now.

Taeyeon scoffs. “Dumb and a whore. If only you could see how this pretty little cunt is swallowing me up right now.”

“T-Taeyeon.”

“Silence,” she snaps. “You’ve caused me enough trouble. You will pay for your consequences.”

Ecstasy ripples through you in turbulent waves, breaking the dam and forcing you to squirt all over her hand and the wall. One second, you feel light as a cloud. The next, a sharp pinch at the junction of your neck brings you back down to earth, breaking skin and leaving you lightheaded as she suckles on you.

When she’s finished with you, she turns you around to face her. The last thing you see before sinking to the floor is the same maniacal grin, now stained with blood.

Your blood.

[thelaurenshippen]

Out of every film that exists, give one to each of your podcasts. I wanna see what vibes you think, cause I rlly wanna listen to some!

ooooooh GREAT question. this has me fully stumped, because I really don't watch a ton of movies? I'm much more of a TV person. but I'll do my best.

The Bright Sessions - depending on the season, this could really change. but, at its core, TBS is an emotional sci-fi story that's super queer, so...Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind meets Love, Simon meets...like, the non-saving-the-world parts of The Incredibles or...idk, Matilda.

Breaker Whiskey - Another Earth meets Portrait of a Lady on Fire.

Bridgewater - Hereditary is a horror movie about family trauma, right? So that, but not as scary or sad, plus cryptids.

Maxine Miles - Harriet the Spy meets The Goonies, but with environmental anxiety.

New Year’s Day - take The Prestige and The Illusionist, shake, add a dash of The Greatest Showman and then make it gay.

Surviving Hawkins - I mean, obviously, the TV show this is most like is, uh, Stranger Things (this was the official ST podcast I wrote lol), but actually it's closer to Dead Poet's Society or The History Boys, especially since there's no Upside Down business.

Passenger List - I really just want to say that Idris Elba Apple TV show about a plan hijacking but I'm committed to the movie thing--there's an element of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo in here, plus maybe Flight Plan or...Shutter Island even?

and, honorable mentions (shows I produced but didn't write):

In Strange Woods - this is tricky because it's a musical but...Into the Wild meets Spotlight (but not sad in the same way) meets....a musical.

Life With LEO(h) - Her but, like, fun and actually romantic. Her + Pride & Prejudice + Nora Ephron movies.

Look Up - I have never seen it, but Briggon loves the movie Handsome Devil so I'm putting that here along with, like, the tiniest little sprinkling of Moonlight.

Greenhouse - jesus, there are not enough fun sapphic romance movies. Imagine Me & You meets You've Got Mail.

but I'd LOVE to hear all your thoughts, listeners!!

[ye-olde-tardis]

I have a local cryptid that I've seen about twice. Nobody who believes me can understand what it looks like, and everyone else just thinks I'm crazy.

Before you get super excited, I want to let you know that it's some sort of bug or animal. It's not extra terrestrial or monster-esc, it's just a really weird bug.

TW for vague descriptions of dead animals

Several things to get out of the way before I can describe it to you.... I live in Michigan, so anything that doesn't live around here is out of the question... and I collect bones from dead animals.

Ok, now the describing. About a year ago I was out tending to my maceration station (the place I keep my roadkill so that the bugs can eat away the bits and I can collect the bones once they're done) when I spotted this.... thing.

It was about four inches long, two inches wide. It had wings, and was flying like how a humming bird would do. Sort of hovering and dashing around. It's abdomin had two bright yellow lines and the shape of it reminded me of a wasp. It's face looked like a butterfly's face, with a probiscus and those weird shaped eyes. It had six legs, but when it landed the wings didn't stop flapping. The wings themselves were short and I couldn't get a good look at them because they never stopped moving, but they could have been a different color than the rest of it. I think it's main color was black but I can't quite remember.

I ran inside to grab a jar to catch it, but it was gone when I came back. I remember researching bugs, butterflies, humming bird moths, beetles.... none of them matched what I saw. And if they came close, none of them ate dead things.

That's right. It eats dead things. Today, I saw it again. I didn't have my phone (a mistake I'll try not to make again. I need a picture of this thing.) I watched it scout out the best place to land, and when it finally did, it unfurled its probiscus and started drinking.

I had a jar this time... (I wanted to catch some American carrion beetles to pin) but I was kinda scared of it. When it saw me trying to catch it, it CAME TWARD ME and started loudly buzzing. When I backed off of it, it flew away.

I'll update with pictures if I ever manage to get some. But it could be a year before I ever see the thing again.

[ghosthuntcr]

Steph snaps to attention. He can feel something shift in the universe. Someone needs to be approached with a positive attitude? He loves spreading positivity!!

[aikoiya]

Hello there, I love your post and I like your idea about Danny being affected by hamon but now not the time for dp x jjba and i have a long post idea that I would be understanding that it takes you days to research and post your idea.

Danny Phantom (phantom planet not happen in this au idea) x hunter: the parenting and by extension the world of darkness.

A few months before the event of Adorable Family Trip, the D family went to Amity Park for a month to visit one of Big-D ex, Jack Fenton, and while at Amity Park Kitten decided to look into Amity Park folklore. I want to know what 3 folklore that Amity Park has and what Kitten and Big-D thought about it, also bonus point if one of them is not about ghosts.

Also I have fun idea that the D family shenanigans while in Amity Park like Kitten learning about ecto ghost from Maddie ( who has extreme bias), Jack ( who is still learning about ecto ghost), and Big-D ( who usually keeps info until it's relevant), Marckus telling Danny and Dash about his experience with bully and tell them about how Brok Blacklaw eat Marckus book, gross Danny and Dash out, Door and Boy waiting in line at Nasty Burger for the meatiest burger for Boy and telling Jazz about his old 'mining day' unintentionally misled Jazz into thinking he was a miner and not a EOD specialist that he actually is, and Big-D and Jack have a journey and talk about why Big-D broke up with Jack as while Jack is good against ghost, he is not prepared for Big-D reckoning against the various supernatural.

Also for the funny Big-D know Danny Fenton is Danny Phantom when first met and didn't tell his family until on the plane back to Norfolk UK and his reasoning is that "it is obvious".

Holy cow! Honestly, I was confused for a bit. But the further down I got, the more I recognized. Like, Big-D was my first tip off, but it wasn’t until I read Markus, Door, & Boy that it clicked.

Now, I know what we’re talking about. I was afraid this was about Monster Hunter or Hunter x Hunter because I know practically nothing about either of those except dragons & that they are an absolute infestation in Monster Hunter.

You have no idea how lucky you are that my brother got me to watch the animated adaptation on YouTube or I would be completely lost! XD

So, congratulations, I can ramble about this subject!

However, I have only seen the animated adaptation up to Big-D's guide to avoiding arrest & am actually currently watching it as I type because I asked my brother a question about the show & he later said he'd rather watch more of it rather than continue with Lupin III. So, thanks for that. (Jk.)

Brok literally just appeared for the first time. His crew certainly seems to possess quite the motley assortment of very unfortunate faces, don't they?

But, yeah, I haven't seen any of the actual sessions, so my knowledge about how that world works is limited to that.

First off, I love, love, love all the supernatural lore in it. I was literally taking down notes.

Anyway, hmm… Well, I just looked at a list of Michigan cryptids & it talked about Michigan Mermen, though evidently, it's “bad luck to threaten one.” Though, the legend specifically says it's in Lake Superior. At the same time, the 2 lakes are connected by Whitefish Bay, so I wouldn't understand why they wouldn't also appear in Lake Michigan unless it was specifically inhabited by a predator of theirs. There's also apparently the Chicago Mothman, which according to a really cool map someone made from doing a bunch of research (Amity Park Location & Map), is most likely not even a full day's travel from Amity. Then there's the Lake Michigan Sea Serpent, which is, like, right there.

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it lived in Lake Eerie. Maybe even just a short walk away from Amity itself.

Though, I do also have something a bit more benign that I made up myself. It's not really a creature. It's just a jukebox that plays creepily accurate music. → The Haunted Jukebox

It's really not much, but I figure that it'd be nice to investigate something that wouldn't try to do unspeakable things to them for once, ya know?

And I do have to say that I very much don't see Jack as the type who'd be into Big-D. In fact, I think the only dude that Jack might have a chance of being into is Vlad, who was never interested & will never be interested. And I don't even know if Jack would be aware of his own interest or if it's ever even crossed his mind.

However, I do have an alternate suggestion. What if Jack & Big-D… were brothers or cousins?

Now, I have a lot of thoughts on not only the Fenton Family’s lineage, but several others too, so here's a link so that I don't have to put it all here. → DP AU - Family Legacy

For that matter, I also hc that Warden Walker is Maddie's dad (but neither are aware). Seriously, go read Grandpappy Walker on Fanfiction.com. It’s an interesting read. However, it never finished. I have other hcs involving her family here, too. → The Walker Family

Now, moving on. This could absolutely work because my theories regarding both the Fenton family & Big-D actually align very well.

Mainly in that I hc that the Fentons are descended from a Lugat, thus making everyone descended from him dhampirs after a fashion.

Now, if we go this route, my suggestion is that Jack was the black sheep of the family… but Big-D was the bedazzled, feral sheep that kept biting everyone. Brilliant & the star of the Fenton family with a brain like a supernatural encyclopedia, but obviously has something very wrong in his head.

In my mind, Jack was never good at learning other languages (which was very important for research) or the apotropaic magics of his family because he could never really wrap his head around the mechanics of how it all worked, so he became frustrated with it all, called it a load of hooey & became determined to prove himself a hunter through the medium he did understand: SCIENCE!!!

And engineering. However, because he'd felt like an outcast due to being unable to understand the magical side of things, he'd begun to reject a lot of the old, tried & true hunter methods, relegating them to the domain of superstition even though a part of him knew that it was all true. He was bitter, okay?

Despite this, he's actually surprisingly honest with himself, considering how full of himself he can be. As such, if he's ever shown concrete evidence that he's wrong, he's actually very quick to adapt & accept that fact.

Then, promptly make amends.

Maddie, however, is ridiculously secular & stubborn. As such, she would be ridiculously difficult to convince regarding subjects involving the supernatural that couldn't be explained using science.

Interestingly, despite being so very different, Big-D was actually one of the only ones in their family who actually heard out Jack’s theories.

At the same time, though Big-D thought that the possibility of this “Ghost Zone” was, indeed, possible, he'd never thought that Jack would not only be able to reach it, consistently of all things, but then prove it!

Personally, I love it when experts of the supernatural are entirely blindsided by something that completely shatters their understanding of the world around them. Like, science is making new discoveries all the time. Why can't the supernatural hunter field also be doing the same?

I'm saying that I think it would be fun if the entirety of Big-D's knowledge of this new plane of existence completely consisted of whatever theories Jack had spoken to him about regarding it.

On the one hand, he's so ridiculously PROUD of Jackie-Boy!!

On the other, Big-D is absolutely shitting his short shorts as it slowly dawns on him the implications of all this.

I mean… this… this is the fucking trans-universal thanatonexus!! Literal proof of alternate & parallel universes!!!

The universe between universes & the moment between times!!!

….

….

Big-D needs to sit down before he passes out…

Which, my guy. I have a full freaking masterlist of hcs regarding how the Infinite Realms work, how it interacts with the Living Realms, how ectoplasm is made. As well as hcs about Clockwork & Nocturn. → DP Ghost Zone Masterlist

Clockwork - The Origin of Clockwork - Clockwork Through the Multiverse - Nocturn (My Style)

Peruse at your leisure.

Seriously, I might have a problem…

I mean, if you really think about it, how would Big-D know much of anything about ecto-ghosts? The only people shown to possess portals are the Fentons & Vlad & the only other portals are natural portals which open randomly & very rarely. Like, maybe he's heard stories about powerful beings that could fly & shoot lasers, but I don’t think he’d know anything truly concrete.

But I definitely think he's aware of Danny's time traveling shenanigans, though only from the perspective of having seen imagery of Phantom & Plasmius scattered through time. But not that it’s Danny & the mayor of Amity (at least initially).

Which, I honestly think that they'd legitimately despise each other. D & Vlad, that is.

Which, perhaps Big-D's actual reason for visiting could partially be because of that? Maybe he saw a picture in a supernatural tabloid about a little town in Illinois that was a tourist trap centering around ghosts? And the picture used was of one of Danny & Vlad's fights?

Maybe it was Kitten who was reading it & Big-D was just sort of sipping his drink at breakfast, was chatting with Kitten, & glanced down only to choke on his drink as he recognized the figures from one of the single greatest mysteries in all of hunter history. He gasps & wheezes rather comically as he tries to catch his breath. Kitten is concerned, but the second D caught his breath, he declared that they were headed to Amity Park to visit family.

The terrifying thing is that I actually think that the Fentons of Amity might be the most well-adjusted members of the current Fentons in the family… This realization haunts me…

Holy fudge, I think Jack would end up being the responsible & rational one between him & D…

Like, I can just see Jack looking D dead in the eye & telling him that drugs, psychedelics, alcohol any purer than near beer, & especially sacrifices were not allowed within 5 yards of the perimeter of Fenton Works & neither were D's sexual indiscretions.

If he brings that shit anywhere near his family, no one will find the pieces. And if he gets caught with that sort of thing here, then Jack's never met the man.

Like, the supernatural stuff is fine, whatever.

Typical Fenton clan brouhaha, but Jack raised a couple of wonderful, talented, genius kids.

(Even if Danny was having a rough time keeping his grades up at the moment, he could still reverse engineer any one of their inventions practically on autopilot & sometimes could even surpass Jack himself in terms of guerilla science & ingenuity, but that's not the point!)

His kids were brilliant & they don't do drugs or commit crimes or go out drinking, & he's not about to have one Bignaceous Ditryck T. Fenton walking in & screwing up the 2 (3 if they’ve adopted Ellie) most sane, well-adjusted children born into the Fenton clan in 5 generations just because he couldn't behave like an adult for a week! Like, he loves D, but “Seriously, D, you need serious help.”

Which would probably start a bit of a dismissive handwaving about how, of course, he’d never dream of it! But Jack just narrowed his eyes at the other man’s insane smile before sighing with a slump of his shoulders before letting them in reluctantly.

Anyway, I'd very much appreciate Amethyst Ocean to be a thing here. This is the DP ship that I've been shipping since I first watched the show. And it was made canon.

Of course, in the end, it's your choice. Not mine.

Also, keep in mind that if Phantom Planet isn't canon, then neither is A Glitch In Time. Just something to remember.

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Polygon Unraveled

A video series that explores the dangers of taking video game lore and logic too seriously.

Or as others online put it:

A series of viral videos for the gaming website Polygon in which he slowly goes insane while talking about video games.

Brian David Gilbert tries to unravel game lore without losing his grip on reality.

Several years ago, this guy who somehow managed to exude cryptid vibes despite appearing to be the walking embodiment of an excel spreadsheet kept coming across my dash. I gleaned enough info to determine he was a YouTuber and promptly scrolled on.

A couple years later...I'll be honest, I have no idea how I actually came to watch any of this. At some point, someone on tumblr tricked me into watching a completely different channel, which showed me that there is, in fact, entertaining content on YT despite a preponderance of talking heads and intensely parasocial fandoms, and the Almighty Algorithm recommended me a a video with a title I couldn't ignore, probably The Perfect PokéRap.

Host Brian David Gilbert is to all appearances an unassuming besuited nerd with high charisma and an even higher ability to subject himself to mental torments in the form of reading in real life all 333 books in the video game Skyrim, calculating how much money in OSHA fines Mario would owe, and interviewing his mother as part of a mathematical process to determine the Game of the Year...during which she kindly says, "This is a lot of research into things that really have very little meaning."

"A lot of research into things that really have very little meaning" would be a great and accurate tagline. Unraveled tricks you into thinking it's about video game-associated nerdery, but actually refers to Gilbert's mental state.

At any rate, it's easy to see why this garnered attention: it's funny and full of the specific pedantry that fandoms enjoy, taking canon details seriously to their ridiculous conclusions.

The subject is video games, but I haven't play the majority of titles/series/franchises featured and enjoyed it all, so it should be accessible and enjoyable to people who similarly haven't. Clips and brief descriptions of games/gameplay/stories are included when necessary, which for me gave all the context I needed.

Because listen: you do not need to be familiar with any Legend of Zelda games to enjoy the hilarity of Gilbert and a non-gamer coworker trying to recreate 78 recipes from Breath of the Wild using only ingredients listed in the game (that is: very few ingredients). I don't need to know anything about Hideo Kojima or the games he creates (and to this day, I do not) to understand the humor of his character names, because Gilbert explains that particular brand of peculiarity in the course of generating an 11-page form that will help him generate his own similarly-kooky names. There are a minimum of three different song/musical interludes throughout this series that are enjoyable and impressive.

Final comments: Highly recommend. It's accessible and fun even with a very small amount of video game knowledge (the small amount I have via pop culture osmosis) and witty; Gilbert has a talent for spouting great one-liners that contribute to the preponderance of gifs on this website.

Subtitle availability: English captions (not auto-generated) are available!

Where to watch (USA, as of May 2024): A playlist (X) on Polygon's (@Polygon) Youtube channel contains all episodes. Polygon's channel contains literally thousands of other videos, so I recommend using the playlist regardless of whether you watch them all or just a few.

Start watching with: My best recommendation is starting from the beginning using the playlist, with Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 Minutes, because individual videos are great but it's also fun to watch Gilbert increasingly, well, unravel. But if you want a few videos to sample, I'd start with any of these:

Every Sonic game is blasphemous

The Perfect PokeRap (live convention panel; trust me it's worth watching instead of the PokeRap-only video)

We made all 78 Breath of the Wild recipes in one day

Calculate your pet's HP with my 100% legitimate formula

I used The Sims to perfect my apartment

Status/Frequency: There are 28 videos total, most of which are 15-20 minutes long with only a handful of outliers. The series was released from 2018 to the end of 2020, when he left the company to pursue other projects.

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[kittynugg]

HELLO 👋👋👋 HIIII. I think your art is super charming and I always love seeing it pop up on my dash :]] I hope ur having a nice day!!!!

What are your favorite headcanons for Ford?

i received this ask at around three in the morning which sucks because i went to sleep like juuuuuuust before you sent it but regardless its better this way because i saw it an hour ago and am responding now that im on my computer and have gotten rid of most of the eyecrust/lh

first of all thank you so much!! i'll keep that in mind whenever i post i'll think "ah yes canadianno will love this one" or "ooh candianno will hate this one shit" depending on the post

i do recognize you in my notes from time to time every time im like "OH ITS THAT GUY !!" like i do with,, every repeat interactor (do NOT know what word to call that like lump of people because not all of you guys are following me [which doesn't bother me!/gen] but uiuhkgk that works]

and about having a good day my day did just start but regardless its off to a decent one, i like interacting with people and receiving asks although they scare the shit out of me before i check them 😭

anyway *rubs hands together* here's the good part of this post my ford headcanons

i think my all-time favorite has to be the aroace ford headcanon, that might be me overcompensating against all the weird ships with him some of which i dont even want to know about but know they're out there because the shipping side of this fandom has a lot of,, strange people but regardless i like it a lot!! i'm aroace myself and only realized that because of that headcanon and jaidenanimation lmfao

to piggyback off of that ford being touch-starved is a hard second, honestly might be tied with the aroace hc. like. all those fics about him getting incredibly sleep deprived and cuddling with stan those are my fucking LIFEBLOOD. PLATONIC👏PHYSICAL👏AFFECTION👏IS👏REAL👏 he definitely falls asleep on the couch with mabel when they stay up really late watching movies or passes out on the floor with dipper (hugged in a vice grip that dipper tries to escape from but just gives up ofc) after a really long ddnmd session. or maybe they were studying a cryptid or waiting for a machine to power up. i also hc him to have really bad insomnia but shhhh let him have his sweetness

also i gave him autism i think thats important, and also depression and anxiety. and maybe adhd?? idk disorder soup dude ([not] small explanation for this i dooooo project most of the symptoms i have him show in my works atm and ive suspected that i have all of those for a while [some longer than others] so i figure i either mistake adhd symptoms for autism at times or they have a lot of overlap which they do tmk but someone did point out that ford might have adhd in the comments of one of my fics and i never really thought of it before but yeah)

here's a fun one from my notes app not quite a favorite headcanon but uhh here's this ford can't shake hands (not just because of bill but mostly bill, part of it is being raised thinking he's a freak for his extra finger and hiding it) BUT he can dap someone up flawlessly. just a weird quirk he has

anyway ive said too much im going to leave now and work on my fanfiction because the grind never stops !!! ty for the ask!!

[savage-rhi]

THIS IS A STICK UP!! GIVE ME ALL YOUR YAPS!!

NOW!!

EASY

EASY

Finefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefine! Here's some fucking yaps!

I'm writing some scenes of ahead of Duality and I have this (what I consider cool) metaphor/deep thing/pretentious (if ya'll wanna be a bitch call me that last one [not you in particular mal, its general ya'll...ya'll]) that involves Two Legs (plaga!luis) and Sawyer watching The Fly (YES WITH THE JEFFIE GOLDBLUMS) together in Spanish and poor screaming worm boi has an existential crisis (the parallells between Seth and Luis are 🤌🏻💯) and my girl who still has no idea wtf is up catches on the boy ain't doing too right and goes out of her fucking way to get them the hell outta there and distract and its cute and it doesn't fix everything (cause screaming worm boi is seeing some of Geenas Davises in Sawyer which makes shit worse) but he feels ✨seen✨even though I don't feel like I'm doing a great job at writing the damn story about "what if a parasite had human feelings?" I'm still having fun.

Revamping my new Death Stranding fic outline has been ✨F U N ✨ it has everything: Gene being a sweetheart, Gene losing her absolute shit (justifiably), giant black tar gods, Egyptian Gods living vicariously thru humans, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Zords energy, sexual tension, sexual tension (not the kind you're thinking), Murica' fucking up...again, personal covid 19 near death experience incorporated into the plot, existential horror, existential horror 2 electric boogaloo (Gene mostly, and arguably Higgs when shit hits the fan), ssssSSssssSSSSsnakes!, blood, darkness, Gene serving cunt, Higgs serving cunt, The DUAT serving cunt...everyone serves cunt at least once (they're all slices of cake), "that one beach party that turns into a rave party", a dash of everything everywhere all at once, and the password is🎶 Aruba, Jamacia, ooo I wanna take ya🎶 (this is gonna probably get fucking more lit when DS2 comes out and I get drugged on chilarium and weed that week [fun story about chilarium and weed I might share later I had with a friend])

I'm slowly building back up to working on some novel ideas I've been cooking. One, with cryptids living in a 4 plex with a human protag and its kind of slice of lifey but there's an overarching BIG PLOT (which I'm still trying to figure the fuck out) and the second one is my zombie/monster story where all the main characters are named after Beatles songs, the latter is a little difficult cause I'm putting a lot of trauma and shit I went through in it, BUT the creatures/zombs are so fucking twisted and go for the gut on my tokophobia among other things and I'm loving how even though its difficult, being able to turn trauma into something tangible (like a monster thing) has been therapeutic (also, its been acting as my counter fuck you to "the kiss" in TLOU HBO cause while I do like the horror element [especially in the context of sex cause I think it did a good job evoking the same ick as the Alien franchise does with the xenomorphs and their reproductive cycle], the whole, "...They’re violent because we resist, but what if you don’t? What does it look like if you just stand perfectly still and let them do this to you?" and, "...what we are may look disgusting and the way we reproduce may be horrifying and violent but it is tender, when this man comes to her it's not violent because she is not fighting, if she ran, if she fought back they would have taken her apart but she's just standing there and he shares of himself" **can't find the damn link but it was something along the lines of this was said in the podcast** commentary rubbed me the wrong way as an SA survivor sooo...THERE AIN'T NOTHING "PRETTY" IN THE SHIT IM COOKIN. (don't get me wrong I like me monster and horror stuff but...yeah...no words).

Ardyn Izunia is still #1 husbando and Karl Heisenberg is right up there with him. I love these two old men and their fuckitry. I'm very saddened they are not within my hyperfixations shooting range right now, but they'll come when they need to come (pun intended).

I've been drawing more RE monsters and I'm getting back into drawing dinosaurs again (and crocheting lgbtq themed scarfs!). Its been an uphill climb and I want to post but imposter syndrome x burnout are making sweet love in my brain and they haven't paid the rent.

I'm just fucking psyched for DS2 hmmkay?

....I need food

[luckylunatix]

Some headcanons and lore tidbits regarding Blue Moon and Martian: Paranormal Agents

A lot of WISP's aesthetic, such as assigning codenames and using gadgets disguised as mundane objects, is purely a creative choice and have little actual impact on their operations; they are excellent spies and paranormal detectives, but they are also a bunch of nerds.

Speaking of gadgets, said gadgets are provided by Acme and designed and delivered by Wile E. Coyote, aka Agent Canis Latinicus.

Other notable agents of Artemis' branch are Agents Arsenic and Old Lace, better known as Dr. Lorre and Witch Hazel respectively. They keep tabs on the knowledge accrued by WISP in their missions and pretty much handle anything science or magic related.

The real name of the Area 51 mole I designed previously, Agent Saffron Sun, is Apollonia Aether.

Often when Artemis and Marvin take on a mission in another country, they'll meet up with agents from local WISP branches, typically given codenames that reflect the culture of that country (for example: British agents named for British cryptids or fairies, Japanese agents named for yokai, etc.)

Artemis is something of an anime fan, and has two favorite in-universe shows she typically references: Uchuujin Rose, a yuri romance between a human woman and an alien that reflects her situation with Marvin, and Luna Lisa and the Mystic Agents, a sort of Sailor Moon/Totally Spies inspired series with a paranormal twist that she watched as a kid and inspired her to become a WISP agent.

Marvin has a habit of taking on new hobbies or learning little party tricks that actually end up becoming useful in unexpected ways during missions, especially if he's in a situation where he has to save himself without Artemis' help.

As nervous as going on missions can make him, Marvin really likes learning about the weirder, supernatural side of Earth. He's also quite fond of traveling to Earth locations he hasn't seen before.

Marvin is the character most likely to actually use various pronouns for Artemis. Most people who know her usually default to she/her, and strangers usually ere on the side of caution defaulting to they/them, but Marvin will use both of these, as well as he/him, in an almost equal amount. There's an implication that nonbinary gender is a lot more normalized among Martians, or at least that Marvin doesn't need to put too much effort into understanding it.

Artemis is definitely the type to try being suave and dashing to impress his crush but then just gets flustered and fumbles.

The thing that brings Artemis and Marvin together most, both as love interests and mission partners, is curiosity and an eagerness to learn. They bond over acquiring new knowledge over the course of their adventures, as well as exchanging knowledge they already had beforehand. They're pretty much the kind of couple that could spend hours infodumping to each other and would watch video essays together. (They're autism4autism Your Honor.)

[connectparanormal]

Paranormal Great Bear Rainforest

Situated on the central coast of British Columbia, Canada, the Great Bear Rainforest is a location of unmatched natural beauty. One of the world's largest temperate rainforests, covering an area of over 6.4 million hectares, is home to tall cedars, lush ferns, and a variety of fauna, including the uncommon white-furred Kermode bear, also known as the spirit bear. Known for its stunning scenery and ecological significance, the rainforest also envelops itself in myth and mystery. Both Indigenous tribes and tourists have passed down stories of uncanny events and mysterious happenings, which some believe to be supernatural, over the centuries. For thousands of years, numerous Indigenous communities, like the Heiltsuk and Kitasoo/Xai’xais Nations, have coexisted peacefully with the Great Bear Rainforest. According to their oral histories, there are creatures that are beyond human comprehension, guardians who watch over the forest's sacred areas, and spirits who live there. Their cultural values and reverence for the natural world intricately link these tales, making them more than just folklore.

The Spirit Bear itself is the subject of one of the best-known stories.  Despite its scientific classification as a subspecies of the black bear with a unique genetic characteristic that gives it its white fur, many Indigenous people revere the bear as a sacred creature, a symbol of balance, and a remembrance of the ice-covered earth. Those who have had the good fortune to see a spirit bear report experiencing an unexplainable sense of peace and a sense of belonging to something much bigger than themselves. In addition to the spirit bear, several people who have visited the rainforest have reported experiencing paranormal activity. Even in the absence of other people, hikers and researchers have reported hearing weird, disembodied voices resonating through the thick forest. No matter how far they venture into the forest, others experience the unsettling sensation of constant surveillance. Others report seeing shadowy shapes that are too big and nimble to be any recognized animal dashing between the trees. There is frequently a spooky silence during these sightings, as though the forest is holding its breath. There are also claims of frequent cryptid sightings in the Great Bear Rainforest. The Pacific Northwest folklore ingrains the Sasquatch, often known as Bigfoot, as one of these creatures. According to indigenous mythology, the Sasquatch is a woodland protector who resides in a transitional realm between the material and spiritual realms. Reports from campers and adventurers today include finding enormous tracks in the mud and seeing gigantic, ape-like beings moving softly through the trees. Firsthand witnesses frequently speak with conviction, saying that what they witnessed defies any logical explanation, while skeptics reject these claims as hoaxes or misidentifications.

Another unexplained event associated with the Great Bear Rainforest is the appearance of strange lights in the sky. People frequently refer to these luminous orbs as ghost lights or earth lights, believing them to dance along the beach or hover over the treetops. Those who have seen the lights up close are not satisfied with the natural explanations put out by scientists, such as bioluminescence, swamp gas, or electromagnetic disturbances. Many claim that they are clever and seem to react to sound or movement. While some attribute these lights to alien activities, others view them as a manifestation of the forest's spirits. The natural and the supernatural appear to blend together in the Great Bear Rainforest, a region of immense mystery. There is no doubting the sense of wonder and awe the forest evokes, regardless of whether one believes the bizarre happenings are the result of human imagination, cryptids, or spirits. It serves as both a reminder of how little we actually understand about the world and evidence of nature's timeless ability to enthrall and enigmatize. Through its breathtaking beauty or hints of the unknown, the Great Bear Rainforest is more than just a place to visit; it moves the soul.