#darkwants: billie ft ezra 13

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

status: closed

pairing: billie & ezra

with: @darkwants

at first she thought she had heard the doctor wrong.

she had asked him to repeat himself at least three times. even leaving the clinic the words had echoed in her head. she was actually pregnant and she had thought it was impossible. she had never told ezra that even with the breeding fantasy that she had. yet she knew that her cycle had never been regular and stress was likely the biggest factor. yet she knew that since the move and ezra finally being there with her all the time, things had settled. her body no longer seemed to be completely out of wack. however for the past few days she had felt sick but she had told ezra is probably a stomach thing. he had been the one to tell her she might want to get checked out if it didn't go away on it's own.

she found herself sitting in her car in the parking lot of the walk in clinic. the papers showing the results were in her lap. she had yet to even put the key in the ignition. one of her hands was resting on the wheel and the other on her flat stomach. her phone was in the cup holder and she could see the text from ezra. he was probably checking in with her to see if he had gone to the walk in or if she was feeling better. she groaned before she was going to move only to set the paper in the passenger seat. even though she had been given a blood test she still was struggling to wrap her mind around it. that was why when she finally did start the car up she was heading to the nearest pharmacy. after buying herself a bottle of water and a test, she went to the bathroom to take it.

by that point she had more then a few messages from ezra and a missed call. she knew that she was likely worrying him and he didn't need to be leaving the garage. he was still getting his new business off the ground. that was why she forced herself to head there next instead of home. the results from the doctor and the at home test were shoved into her purse before she made her way inside. she walked through the reception area, ignoring the younger looking guy behind the desk. instead she made her way through since she knew if she didn't tell ezra she felt like she was going to explode.

she could see ezra was talking with one of his employees. billie forced herself to take a deep breath before she was walking over only to tug on the sleeve of his shirt," um, can we talk? in your office?"

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

she couldn't stop herself from giggling as he confirmed she was his best girl. those giggles soon stopped the moment he pulled her into another kiss. casual displays of affection were still something that she had to get used to. no longer did they have to look over their shoulder to make sure they weren't being watched. instead they could behave like another couple. they could hold hands walking down the street or curl up at the movies. they could get lost in kisses and drag them out for however long they wished. it was a whole new freedom that the both of them were taking advantage of in the fullest.

of course part of her still felt like she only could depend on him and herself. that was why her mind had gone to just shopping online for everything they might need. the list was certainly going to be long and she had no clue if he intended on going shopping with her. it was something that he had done before since the move. he had no issues going with her when she asked. something told her that he was going to be excited about every little thing related to the baby. she nodded at his words, knowing that they did have some time," i know you will daddy." it had taken her some time to realize that he meant it when he said he would be there for her.

it had been ages before she realized that he truly meant everything that he said. he looked out for her and took care of her. she knew that she had been stubborn before they had moved. there were still times that she hadn't gone to him when she knew that she should have. that was no longer going to be an issue since she knew how she could depend on him. she had the feeling that he was going to be right there if she had continued bouts of morning sickness. that he would be at every single appointment, help her with cravings or anything else that came along. she shook her head a little at the idea of taking vitamins," that's going to be a lot to get used to," she admitted," we really are."

already she knew that if she had to give up coffee that she would struggle. her addiction to it had started when she was younger. solely because often she had zero energy with how much she had to do. a slight pout appeared as he pulled out his phone and she went to nuzzle into his neck," i don't think i can give it up," she protested, not wanting to look at his phone as she began to pepper his neck with kisses," i'd be so cranky."

"the very best." he wanted to kiss her again and the fact there was no reason he couldn't was a joy to rediscover again and again, his hand on her jaw as he kissed her softly. no matter how much sleeping around ezra had done in his past, the simple truth was that he'd gotten fixated on billie in a way that he couldn't fight and hadn't even wanted to. by the time ezra realized just how deeply invested her was and that she wouldn't be like everyone else, a passing fancy he was bored with in a handful of weeks or months, it was too late and he wasn't letting her go. she'd been his best girl since the beginning, and he could admit it now with his whole heart.

ezra didn't know if she meant that she was going to look online for things that they needed in a nursery (she would probably be looking online for things they needed a lot in the coming months, and ezra knew he would be the same) of if she meant that she'd be looking online for the furniture and other such things. personally, he hoped it was the former. he almost wanted to go shopping around with her and look at items in person, slowly build the room up in a more personal way that just looking at options online. it wasn't that he was against online shopping, he'd done a fair bit of it himself, he just didn't want it checked off their list in a single afternoon. "we've got time. we'll figure it out. i'm going to help you, okay?"

he wasn't going to be one of those deadbeat dads that had nothing to do with their kids and he wasn't going to be a useless partner that left billie struggling through the pregnancy alone. that meant that he was going to be there for her appointments, he was going to rub her feet, he'd buy things for the baby and put them together, and he was not letting her eat dirt. "we're going to buy you so many vitamins," he sighed before smiling at her widely, obviously teasing. he didn't think there would be that much issue with keeping her from eating dirt, but the coffee… "oh, we're going to be in trouble."

he didn't know if she could have even half a cup, but he was pretty sure three was off the table. no drinking, and wasn't there something about limiting chocolate?? oh, was that going to count towards her coffee intake? he didn't think she'd like that and ezra squirmed, trying to get to his phone so he could pull it out and google one handed. "let's find out, you may be having a final farewell cup today…"

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

billie had always known that things had progressed slowly. that was purely on her because she was the one who had been nervous. the one who hadn't been fully ready to take that big leap. of course she knew that if they hadn't moved that things wouldn't be where they were. it had taken her what felt like forever to realize that it was her and ezra. that he meant what he said and he had proven it time and time again. that was why she knew that they were going to be able to handle an unexpected pregnancy. even if she had no idea what in the world that she was doing given she hadn't ever thought it could happen.

"i'm your best girl?" she repeated, unable to stop herself from smiling. truly since he had moved in full time, she had realized she was smiling more. it was the first time in her entire life that she wasn't stressed out every single day. she knew that they could enjoy being pregnant with him at her side. there were going to be so many changes and she had no clue what was to come. she was practically relishing in every single moment and all of the attention that he gave her.

it dawned on her at his words that they would have to make a nursery. something that she hadn't even thought of. she nodded as she began to instantly wonder about what colors they should paint the walls. they were going to need to get a crib, changing table and one of those rocking chairs. she had a faint idea due to tv and books. she found herself smiling, nodding," i can start to look online for things." faintly the idea of a baby shower crossed her mind but she doubted she would have one. even if she had made some of her friends she wouldn't feel right about it.

her head tilted down as his hand dropped down to her stomach. obviously there was no sign that she was pregnant yet. she couldn't help but laugh," i can't promise that," she teased," but if i start eating potting soil just know we are in trouble." it would mean she was lacking something but she doubted it would happen. her face instantly fell at the mention of giving up her coffee. quickly she glanced down at his hand on her stomach," limit my coffee? like no more than three cups?" she had zero idea how much she could have but she knew that it was going to possibly be the death of her.

once, ezra doubted that billie would have been able to say something like that so easily, that she may have worried about the stress of things getting to them. sometimes he did wonder if that's why it took them so long to move, if she doubted his devotion or if she was just that scared of her father, but it was reassuring to him to hear billie be so optimistic and to have so much faith in them - in their growing family. he couldn't help the bubble of happiness floating inside of his chest even though his logical, rational mind knew that there were so many ways they weren't ready for a baby.

"you are my polite girl." ezra agreed, leaning in when she tipped her face up so that he could press their foreheads together. "and you're my best girl." he'd seen something once about a guy calling his wife 'princess' and saying if they had a daughter, she'd be his princess, too, and some part of ezra wondered if he'd end up having the two best girls in the world. he didn't actually care what the baby came out as, he just wanted them healthy, and ezra realized that he had no idea if billie had a preference. that was going to be another thing to find out as they managed their way through her pregnancy, but it wasn't like there weren't plenty of gender neutral options for nurseries - fuck,they needed a nursery.

"i just realized, we do have one more set of house repairs we'll need to do. we'll need to make sure the spare bedroom is ready to be a nursery." that would be smaller, that was just one room, but it would need to be done before wrapping everything else up, he thought. sure, the baby could stay in their room for a while, but he wanted the baby to have its own space with a place for their things. he could always finish up any other little leftover repairs to the rest of the house later, his main focus needed to be billie being able to rest and being ready for the baby.

without really thinking about it, ezra dropped a hand to her stomach, thumb rubbing along the material of her shirt. she couldn't be that far along, so he knew there wouldn't be any swelling yet, but that didn't mean there wasn't a baby in there. "you know, i think i've heard about that? something about craving the nutrients in the dirt? please don't let me catch you eating the potting soil, though." which maybe the vitamins would keep her from eating dirt, so ezra knew that was going to be a priority - vitamins had to be healthier than dirt. "hey, wait. doesn't this mean you have to limit your coffee?"

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

back when things first started she never imagined they would come so far. after all she hadn't ever imagined that she would no longer be living in her hometown. let alone that she would be living in her own house that she got to decorate. on top of that? she was finally able to freely be with ezra. now they were going to be bringing a new life into the world. she would be able to have him go with her to appointments and go through all the fun milestones.

of course she was only slightly terrified given she felt like she knew nothing about pregnancy. she knew that there was probably a lot of things that were going to be changing with her body. clearly nausea was a big one considering the past few days. she had the feeling there were going to be even more fun things ahead but she wanted to focus on the good things. mostly the fact that it was clear that ezra was thrilled and she had been so nervous he wouldn't be.

"i don't think it'd hurt," she agreed, already debating coming up with a list. of course that would mean doing some research. then again her day had already had one very unexpected turn. it meant that she was going to be doing some shopping she hadn't planned on. plus she had the feeling that she was going to have to go through the kitchen. the very idea of it was enough to make her head spin. yet she knew that once ezra was done with work that he would be right there with her. she nodded in agreement, biting down on her lip," at least we can figure out everything we are in for together."

part of her wanted to just keep going with the house projects. however, she knew that if she did and ezra caught her that he might be disappointed. instead she pushed that thought from her mind and put on a smile," thank you daddy." truly she was feeling worn out but she wanted to enjoy no nausea. her hand reached to run through his hair as she relaxed against him. she glanced down at his hand that was still resting against her stomach. only to laugh at his suggestion of indian food and she shook her head," honestly i'm craving tacos? possibly some chips and guac and maybe some horchata?" she had found a few places in the time she had been living alone. she had fallen in love with a mexican place that was not too far from the garage.

they'd been through a lot of unpleasant things during their relationship, there had been trials and hiccups and eventually they can out stronger for it and overcame them, but there had been some moments when it felt a struggle. he'd known when he moved away with billie that it was all worth it, but he'd never imagined that the pay off for that patience and resilience would be this, being able to live openly with billie and see her grow with their baby. he felt almost giddy in a way with the knowledge, light like he'd had a hit of laughing gas and everything was perfect.

there were going to be struggles with the pregnancy, too, life wasn't going to be magically perfect because she was pregnant. there were going to be times when bilile's back hurt, or when smells made her nauseous, she was going to need to pee constantly and she was going to get tired and have swollen ankles, there was a risk of heartburn and so many other possible side effects besides those. maybe billie would have an easy pregnancy without problems, or maybe every step would be a struggle and in six months, they'd be trying to stop her from going into labor. maybe in seven months, they'd be in a hospital waiting to find out if the contractions were real or just fakes. it wasn't going to be perfect, but that moment certainly was.

"i think you can start taking them as soon as you're pregnant? they can't hurt, right?" they were vitamins and she was pregnant, it seemed like it was a good thing to start looking out for her health, especially if he was right and billie was going to end up being high risk. maybe they could ask the doctor about that - and maybe they should start making a list of things to ask. ezra may not have liked hospitals, but this was something he wasn't going to take any chances with. he already knew that even with a book, chances were he would be doing internet searches and getting other opinions. "a book would be good, because i have the feeling we're going to be in for a lot."

ezra felt it when billie tensed, although he wasn't sure why. "they can spare me for a while, it's okay. you can stay here and take it easy." how long would the medicine from the clinic last? a few more hours? it was tempting to make a quip about ow she could start thinking of baby names while she was resting, and how it was good she'd be able to hold things down now for the sake of the baby, and ezra realized that he could very easily become fixated on the subject of the baby and not billie if he wasn't careful. "since you'll be able to eat now, what do you feel like for dinner after this? you want to celebrate with indian food?"

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

there were so many unknowns for the two of them.

billie knew that it was likely she might be high risk. only because of her health and the way that her cycle had been irregular. obviously her health had never been that big of a concern for her growing up. her father had only ever taken her to the doctor when she had been in school for an annual physical. those had always been awkward and she had always been incredibly tight lipped. the last thing that she wanted was someone sticking their nose into her family life. that was why she had never worried too much but now it seemed there were a number of things to worry about. she had thought that it would be impossible to get pregnant. did that mean that she was going to be able to carry the child to term?

she realized that she hadn't exactly expressed her happiness. otherwise ezra likely wouldn't have asked. quickly she nodded to show him that she had been listening and wasn't lost in her own thoughts," i'm happy," she promised," i just-i'm shocked-i didn't-i never thought i could." part of her feared what could happen if for some reason she wasn't able to. if it would possibly mean an end for ezra and her. yet she pushed that thought from her mind as he reassured her that he was happy. she found herself clinging to him.

"i had to ask the doctor to repeat himself," she admitted, laughing a bit at the thought. part of her was amazed that she was even in such a situation. she knew that if they hadn't moved she would be in trouble. someone would have seen her buying the test and it would have been a matter of possible minutes before someone found that. it was likely that ezra would have heard her about her buying it before she told him. her hand reached to run along the back of his head, playing with his hair," i was hoping you'd say that." she knew that it was likely that ezra was going to have questions that she wouldn't even be able to think of.

she glanced down at herself before looking back towards him," the paper is just the blood test results." she had no clue in the slightest how far along she was," i think at the appointment we will find out all the important stuff." she knew that they both were likely very curious," they did give me a prescription to help with the nausea which i have to go pick up but i just-i wanted to tell you before i did anything else."

he was so caught up in her own joy at the idea of having a kid that for a moment, he forget the risks involved. if billie had trouble conceiving, then could she had trouble carrying? was there some kind of risk to the baby because of her fertility issues? there was some issue some women had where their body wasn't strong enough to hold the baby once it got a certain size and they lost it without realizing, was it possible that billie had been capable of getting pregnant all along, but her body wasn't strong enough to carry and that was the real reason for her irregular periods? they'd certainly never taken precautions, not even from the start, long before billie had ever murmured anything about not being capable.

they'd need appointments, ultrasounds, that could probably tell them if the baby was healthy, couldn't it? there was suddenly so much to do, so much to take care of, that for a moment, ezra forgot to question if billie was happy about the idea of being a parent. sure, he knew that she had fantasies of being bred, but a fantasy was different than playing host body for months, then being responsible for another living thing for years.

"but you're happy about it, aren't you?" he asked quietly as their hands found her still flat stomach. he didn't know how far along billie was, but somewhere inside of her, maybe no bigger than a cherry, was their baby. he'd wanted a baby, had known he wanted one with billie even if it would be difficult, and the baby felt like a miracle no matter what the timing was. maybe this would be their only shot at a child, he didn't know, but even though his head was spinning, ezra knew he was grateful as billie slid into his lap, his arms going around her. "i'm happy about it, okay? even if we didn't plan this, i'm happy."

hand rubbing along billie's spine, ezra realized it was likely a good thing he'd pushed moving, because a baby was another reason they wouldn't have been able to stay where they were. they wouldn't have been able to be together there, wouldn't have been able to be a family, even risking a moment like this had been dangerous back then, and he could even swear billie would have been able to buy a pregnancy test without word somehow getting out. but now they could go to a doctor appointment and he could say that he belonged with billie, and that billie was pregnant with his baby. "i can be there." he'd clear his schedule if he had to, he wasn't missing it.

pulling away from billie, he felt almost shaky. "shit, i guess i better read that paper. do you have any idea how far along you are, or do we have to wait until the appointment to make sure everything's okay?"

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

of course she knew that she could have waited till he was home from work. maybe she could have found a better way to tell him. however she wasn't exactly worried about how she had told him. instead she was focusing on the fact that she was about to deliver such shocking news. plus she knew that he was probably worrying about her having something seriously wrong with her. she had noticed how he had been looking at her before she convinced him to go to work. he had wanted to stay with her but she told him that she was going to be okay.

she shook her head at his question," i'm okay." she wasn't entirely sure if she was or not. all that she did know was that she was in shock. truly she had wrapped her mind around the fact that she wasn't meant to be a mother. after all she didn't even have one herself so how would she know how to be one? she noticed how he was taking the paper but he wasn't looking at it. instead he was focusing on the second thing that she had pulled from her purse.

he didn't seem to be processing what she had said. she was turning to show him the positive test result. part of her wanted to figure out what she should do. she was just hoping that he wasn't going to freak out. she and him hadn't exactly talked about kids. they had just started to settle into their new life. one were they could just be open about being together and in love. now it seemed life had thrown them another curve ball.

"uh huh," she breathed," we are!" she wasn't too sure if she was happy or freaked out. she was going to set the test aside before she was reaching to place their hands onto her stomach," i didn't think it was possible." she hadn't ever said it to him out loud but she knew that he had to understand that feeling. yet she found herself going to slide into his lap. her eyes were filling with tears but they were happy ones for a change. she was going to press rest her forehead against his.

she knew that they were going to have to make a lot of preparations. they were going to need to make a nursery. she knew that she was going to have to do a lot of research. plus she was going to have to schedule more appointments," i scheduled another appointment for next week," she told him," i was hoping you could come with? it's on wednesday morning at ten?" it was the first available appointment that the doctor had.

a couple needing to talk was, stereotypically, never good. ezra wasn't concerned that billie was unhappy with their relationship, but considering how sick she'd been, he was worried that maybe her throwing up wasn't a simple stomach bug and that she was dealing with something more severe. some kind of stomach issues? or maybe nothing at all to do with her stomach, but the nausea was just a side effect or something else. ezra didn't know enough about medicine (biologically, pharmacology, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it) to know what might be wrong or what she might need.

he tried not to worry too much. if she needed appointments for something, he could take her. it could just be unpleasant, not serious, and the way she linked their hands together when she stopped him from feeling her temperature was reassuring. "sure, baby. you want a water or something?" he asked, not sure what was wrong, but trusting that it wouldn't hurt to hydrate her considering the way she'd been sick. it would also give her a minute to catch her breath or calm down or whatever it was she needed a moment for.

when she pulled out the paper, ezra took it and he wasn't too surprised that it seemed like a medical print off - he'd told her to go to a clinic and get checked out, so it could be a prescription or a write up of her vitals or even a next appointment date. he didn't get the chance to really see what it said before billie pulled something else out of her bag and ezra was pretty sure that anyone would recognize the shape of a pregnancy test. somehow, it didn't click inside of his mind, because billie wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant. he'd wanted to talk with her about it one day, she if maybe she'd be open to finding out more about her fertility issues and maybe consider some options for a family, but he'd planned on waiting until they'd had time to settle into their new life together.

"holy shit." morning sickness, she was throwing up because of morning sickness and he'd never expected it, just like he hadn't thought much about her period not showing up because he knew how irregular billie could be. the clinic had likely ran their own test, that was probably the paper he was holding, that or maybe a referral to a doctor for her pregnancy, but that meant that they didn't have to trust just the stick, it was verified and it was real. without even realizing it, ezra had started smiling and his eyes went from the test to billie. "we're going to be parents."

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

billie was just hoping that she wasn't going to spin out in a panic. what she had just discovered was literally life changing. she and ezra had finally gotten what they had longed for. they had their own home and no longer did they have to hide. maybe they should have considered what could happen. after all it wasn't like they were careful when it came down to it. plus when ezra had finally moved in they had basically christened every single room in the house.

she pushed that thought from her mind as she walked through the garage. she had yet to get to know the guys that worked for ezra. mostly because she had been trying to adjust to everything they had going on. she had lived in the house alone, gotten a part time job and her own group of friends. that was why she didn't stop to make small talk like she might have before. plus she feared that if she didn't tell him that she wouldn't get the words out.

it was evident he was surprised to see her. she noticed how he seemed to visibly become less tense at least," i just-i need to talk to you." she glanced towards the guy who thankfully seemed to take the hint and was walking away. it wasn't a surprise when he was ushering her towards his office. it was a bit quieter the moment she stepped inside and he was right behind her. the moment the door shut most of the sounds of the shop were muffled.

he was coaxing her onto the couch and she reached to grasp his wrist when he went to touch her forehead. she pulled his hand down with hers only to link their fingers together. she forced herself to take a deep breath," i'm okay," she promised," i just-just give me a second?" she could see that she had been right, he had been getting worked up over her not answering the phone. she normally wouldn't have done that but she needed to try to process. her free hand delved into her purse only to pull out the paper. she held it out for him and waited till he took it before she produced the test.

"i know we never really talked about it," she breathed," besides, well, you know and i really didn't think i was able to but um, we're pregnant ezra."

he hated when billie didn't answer her phone.

he was trying not to worry about it, because she was sick and he knew that keep track of her phone wasn't the most important thing in her life. she could have been busy throwing up (again) and not her heard phone go off. she could have been in the shower, trying to feel better or clean herself off and not heard one of his follow up texts. people were supposed to check their phone on average every ten to fifteen minutes (depending on their generation) and ezra knew that there was a chance that billie felt so crappy that all she did was curl right up in the bed and go to sleep.

when you were sick, you needed rest, he knew that, but he also knew she could have fainted and hit her head and that could be why she wasn't responding. that was the point when he called her and when she didn't answer, he started pacing. she could have just gone to the clinic like he said, and obviously she wasn't going to answer her phone while talking with the doctor, and she wouldn't have been texting him back while driving… assuming she was in the state to drive. fuck.

couldn't she have text him from the waiting room? or maybe she started throwing up as soon as she walked through the doors, staggering against a wall, that would have made them jump up and get her, he bet. or maybe it was simply a reason as ordinary as billie being so groggy that she forgot her phone.

the young guy that he'd recently hired to work the desk tried getting ezra's attention one time and got snapped out, which prompted one of the other employees to come along to distract ezra and get the young man to warn everyone that ezra was in a bad mood. the fact he even tried to hold billie up would end up another mark against the guy if ezra ever found out.

due to the noise, ezra didn't hear billie approach and only turned when he felt the tug on his sleeve, the irritation on his face immediately melting away. "baby, what are you doing here? how are you feeling?" he asked immediately, looking away from her just long enough to send his employee back to work.

slipping his hand to billie's back and guiding her in the direction of his office, it was a little quieter once they were inside and ezra immediately closed the door to help block out noise. guiding billie to sit on the couch, ezra reached up to touch her forehead, trying to check her temperature. "what's wrong? why haven't you been answering your phone?"

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

"we can get through anything with each other," she agreed, unable to stop herself from smiling. of course billie had been a bit worried about how he would react. they hadn't broached the idea of children besides the mention of a breeding kink. that had been just an idea in her head but she hadn't thought it would happen. she knew that maybe she had told him too soon. after all most didn't share the news till after the first trimester. that was when things were less risky but she knew that she couldn't possibly keep it a secret. plus she knew that ezra had been worried due to the bouts of nausea.

granted it was coming at a time that neither of them expected. they were just getting things settled. they were finally getting to some projects that she had waited on him for. mostly because she knew that he would help and that he wanted to do it. plus there was only so much heavy lifting she could do. something told her that he was going to be keeping an even closer eye on her than he usually did. it had taken her a long time to come around to the idea of him wanting to look after her. she knew that he actually wanted to take care of her and that it was going to extend to their baby.

billie couldn't help but blush at his words but she shrugged," i can't help it." ever since things had changed she knew that she owed him a lot. he had done so much for her and she hoped she had done the same for him. all she could do was blush as she realized that she had been thanking him," you know i'm polite." that was something that he had pointed out more than once. she shrugged as she looked up towards his face," and i like being good for you."

instantly she perked up as he agreed to her suggestion. she was truly amazed that she was even thinking about eating. yet she knew that mexican food was going to be the best choice. she merely shrugged again at the mention of heartburn," it will be so worth it." her tone was mock serious as she laughed," you never know, i did see an episode of a show where they said some pregnant women crave clay or even dirt." she pressed a kiss to his forehead before she was going to slide from his lap. a small yawn escaped from her," so we will see how it goes but lets enjoy the normal cravings."

"yeah, we'll figure it all out. may time some time, but we're going to get through this." it wasn't ezra's first time with a pregnant girlfriend, a fact that he often tried not to think about. it had gotten easier in time, the wound turning into a scar that was sensitive to the touch, but no longer left him in danger of bleeding out, something that went unnoticed by most and ezra wanted to keep it that way, except… well, he didn't keep a lot from billie. he had no reason to, he trusted her with everything and she'd never once disappointed him. maybe not every pregnancy was the same, maybe him having some experience with what a woman went through for the first and second trimester didn't mean much, but it suddenly felt odd that there was a part of his life billie knew nothing about.

sure, it was inevitable there were things that the other didn't know about, especially considering how much older ezra happened to be, but they hit on the big things, or at least he thought that they did. this was a big thing to not have shared, and ezra knew it, but he pushed it aside at the moment because it wasn't time to be lost in past failures, it was a time to be happy with billie and he wasn't gong to take away from her joy by talking about something else. the moment was for them, and there was plenty of time to explain things later, and how that experience could help them.

"you don't need to thank me, baby." he'd choose her every time, hadn't she realized that? he chose her over his house, his last job, his sleeping schedule, he would always choose her as long as she was his. besides, even if that wasn't true, how could he want to be anywhere but by her side, enjoying celebrating news that he'd once thought would be an uphill battle?

laughing when she corrected his guess, ezra nodded. "i could go for some horchata myself. we'll get you as many tacos as you want, but you're at a risk for heartburn, you know." she was in for so many fun new pregnancy symptoms, although none of them were guaranteed. as much as ezra wished she'd have a simple and glowing pregnancy, he was still worried about the dangers in it. "you know, as far as pregnancy cravings go, tacos seems pretty normal," he teased, his worry once again eclipsed by the joy in saying cravings, in knowing that she was pregnant.

[fcundaticnsofdecay]

they were both clearly processing what they had been told. as far as billie had been concerned she had never wanted to discuss kids. only because she knew that it was likely impossible for her to have them. yet it was clear that life had other plans for her. she found herself unable to stop smiling," you're right, something went right and we deserve to enjoy this."

she knew that if they were in still in their hometown it wouldn't have been joyous news. she likely would have been in tears thinking about how she would have to hide it. yet she knew that she was going to be able to embrace all the changes that she knew were coming. she couldn't help but smile as he pressed kisses to her cheeks. it was clear that he was thrilled. she laughed a bit, nodding slowly," we both weren't but it's happening."

of course she knew that everything was going to be flipped. they had a whole new set of challenges waiting for them. the first thing to pop in her mind was that they needed to figure out a nursery. they had a lot of things they were going to need to buy and endless doctor's appointments. it was also going to mean that she was going to need to talk with her boss at the consignment shop. something told her that ezra was going to want her to take it easy or easier than she already was.

"prenatal vitamins?" she repeated, realizing for what felt like the thousandth time that there was so much she didn't know. of course before that afternoon she had never concerned herself with anything related to pregnancy. she bit down on her lip, realizing that she might be in over her head," i don't see why not but i'm starting to think that i need to stop at the bookstore as well." she faintly remembered hearing about a what to expect when you're expecting book. something told her that had just moved to the top of her list.

she found herself relaxing against him and biting down on her lip," you're welcome." it seemed that she had made the right choice. their foreheads met again and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. only to nearly tense at the mention of stopping house repairs. they had been turning their house into their own but she knew that he had a good point," they gave me something to help at the clinic so i'm feeling okay right now but i want to stay with you, if that's okay?" she glanced towards the door then back at him," can i just lay here while you your work? unless you have to go back out on the floor?"

"good. that's good." he still hadn't lost that shaky feeling, wasn't sure how to get his words in order to express how he felt or if he even knew the right words to encompass the feelings raging through his system. "i know we didn't plan it, but this is a good thing. something went right, so lets enjoy it." he'd only asked billie about it once, then backed off when he realized it was a tender subject for her. maybe she'd considered it dropped, but ezra had only shelved it for later - a conversation now it seemed they wouldn't need to have at all.

reaching up, he kissed at her cheeks, not wanting to interrupt her, but needing to do something to show how happy it was. it may have been an accident, but it was the good kind of accident - just like billie was, if he thought about it. their relationship all started because of an accident and ezra considered it to be a blessing in his life,that he had billie now because of it, and this was just the same. their baby would be the same.

"i don't blame you. i never expected a baby." he wasn't worried about her being sick and dying from a tumor anymore, now he knew it was a baby and while ezra wasn't about to call himself an expert on what women went through when they were expecting, everyone knew that morning sickness was a common symptom. ezra would even go so far as to say it might have been a woman's first sign, but again, he wasn't an expert.

even though the paper was just blood results, he wanted to keep it almost as proof that they had a baby. he knew that he'd want to look at it later and the piece of paper was a ot more hygenic than the little stick. "sounds like we'll need to wait for the appointment to know anything. vitamins, fuck, you can start taking prenatal vitamins now, though, right?" prenatal, just saying any kind of words like that seemed strange on his tongue, but nice. so was knowing that she'd have something to help with the nausea, and ezra wasn't too worried about if it would be bad for the baby since a doctor prescribed it.

"thank you." pressing his forehead against hers again, ezra's hand slipped to the back of her neck and squeezed. "i'm glad you told me like this. god, we're going to have ot learn so much about taking care of babies and what's healthy and not… and we'll probably need to wrap up the house repairs for a while. how sick are you feeling? you want to just stay here with me for a while before getting your meds?"