#darkside 0f the sun

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

just bill being a silly boy pt. 10

[drunkinyourbenz]

୨ৎ stars align. b.e

୨ৎ billie eilish x fem!reader

୨ৎ genre: fluff and angst

୨ৎ note: Ironically listened to ‘she calls me back’ by noah kahan while writing this, don’t be fooled babe. also listen to i love you, keep that in mind!!! if you catch the astronomy by conan references yes you did. i love you all and you're very welcome in advance <333 not proofread

୨ৎ taglist: @47lake @st0nerlesb0 @n0vabug @darkside-0f-the-sun @asterisk-eyes (ask or comment to be added)

three times you called billie, and one she didn’t pick up. 

you called billie a lot. she was away on tour, so naturally, whenever both of you had a free minute, you’d be calling. if she wasn’t free, you’d be sending her videos and voice messages and photos of whatever you did in your day. at first, sending her a photo of the flowers growing on the footpath on your walk to work had seemed stupid to you, but it started a train of endless photos of mundane things that either of you found beautiful. it was a way of keeping each other up to date on your lives—other than just selfies. it was as if you were there, eating her breakfast with her and watching finneas while he recited a dramatic reenactment of his dream the night before. 

currently, it was nine in the evening in your time zone, and you had shark’s head resting on your chest. with the limited mobility you had with the dog on top of you, you reached for your phone and clicked on billie’s contact. you clicked on the call button, you wanted to facetime her so she could see both her babies.

it didn’t take long for her to pick up, and as soon as her camera had loaded, you saw an extreme close up of her eyes and the tour makeup she was halfway through taking off. “love!” she beamed, propping the camera up on the desk so she didn’t have to hold it. you tilted the camera down to show shark, and she practically squealed. “baby! oh my god, my baby shark.” she pouted as she took in how he had his head resting on your chest and his eyes half open. “that should be me?” 

you giggled, “with me or shark?” 

��both,” billie said as she continued taking off her makeup, you could hear the smile in her voice. “i should be sandwiched in the middle of you.” 

you hummed in agreement, hugging shark closer to him and kissing his forehead before scrunching your nose up. “he stinks.” 

billie rolled her eyes, “you’re so rude to him.” 

a scoff left your lips, “oh please, you’ve said exactly the same thing.”

“he’s my child, so that’s different.”

“actually, he’s my child too. and i think i’m his new favourite.” 

billie gasped with faux horror, “oh, keep lying to yourself.” 

you called billie whenever anything went wrong, when you didn’t know what to do, when you felt like your life was closing in on you. you were sitting on the ground beside your bed, your eyes staring blankly at the wall in front of you as your fingers fiddled together anxiously. you didn’t quite know what you were feeling, nor why you were feeling it, but you were overwhelmed and miserable. nothing seemed to be able to help except for the songs playing through your headphones that magically put everything you felt into words. 

you weren’t sure when the tears had started falling down your cheeks, but they were there. you could feel the cold salty trails down your skin, and you didn’t bother trying to wipe them away. the moonlight was casting a soft light over your room, dancing across your skin in a way that you would have perhaps thought was pretty had you been more aware of your surroundings. 

instead, you were aware of the pounding of your head and the racing of your thoughts, the feeling of your clothes against your skin, and the emptiness inside your head. you felt a level of numbness you hadn’t felt since you were seventeen, and you weren’t sure if anything would fix it. 

But then you thought of your girlfriend. billie. 

somehow, she always knew how to make things better. 

so, with shaky hands, you reached for your phone which had sat discarded on the floor next to you. it was only charged to eleven percent, but that was enough for you to call her. 

you tapped on her contact, calling her. she picked up in record time, her comforting voice filling your ears. “baby? it’s two am, you alright?” 

“mhm.” you hummed. you’d be content to simply sit there and listen to her voice for hours, but you knew you’d have to actually speak at some point—you were the one who’d called, after all. after a long moment, you sighed. “can you come over?” 

“yeah, of course. i’ll be there in ten. want me to stay on the call?”

and you did, but you knew your phone would die and you didn’t have the energy to find the charger, “no, it’s okay.” 

“okay, angel. hold in there, yeah?”

“yeah.”

you called billie whenever anything important happened in your life, such as getting accepted into your new job. you’d quit your old job a few months ago—it just hadn’t felt right. you weren’t happy working there, your boss was an asshole, and with the time and effort you put into it, you were atrociously underpaid. you talked to billie about it, and she assured you that quitting it would be the best. your happiness was both of your priorities, so it wasn’t long after that conversation that you quit. 

getting a new job had been harder than you’d thought—not necessarily because of your qualifications, more because you weren’t sure what would make you truly happy. it took some time, but eventually you found one that you felt would make your inner child giggle and kick her feet. 

you had applied, and then there was nothing left to do but wait. 

wait, and wait, and wait. 

it was hell. you got an interview, and after that, it was more waiting. you didn’t know what to do with yourself, an anxious feeling always sitting at the pit of your stomach. 

after what felt like months of waiting—but was more likely just a week and a half—you got the email. you read one line, and almost screamed, dropping your phone on your foot. 

once you picked your phone up again, you fumbled with it desperately for a moment, shaky hands navigating to billie’s contact. it rang for about thirty seconds before she picked up—upon second thoughts, you realised that she may have been in a meeting, but she always told you to just call her. 

“hi, my love-” billie’s sweet voice came through the phone, and you couldn’t help the giddy smile that spread across your lips. 

“i got the job.” 

billie squealed, “oh my god, baby! i knew you would, i’m so proud of you!”

an excited giggle fell from your lips, “i was so nervous-”

“but that’s okay, you did it.” 

“couldn’t have done it without you.”

“oh shut up, yes you could. take some credit, darling.”

you opened your mouth to speak again, but she continued. 

“we’re going on a date tonight. to celebrate. our restaurant, yeah?” 

you giggled again, unable to stop the happiness radiating from you, “yeah.” 

“perfect. i’ll book it now-”

you interrupted her before she could continue, “i love you.”

you could hear the smile in her voice when she responded, “i love you too.” 

billie was always the first person you thought of to call. even slumped against the wall drunk in a hallway at a loud, bustling party, she was the one who your fingers gravitated to in your contacts. your vision was slightly blurred, your mind unfocused, but somehow you knew to call her. maybe your brain had drifted to the other calls, maybe it was just a feeling. 

either way, that feeling was wrong. 

the phone rang twice before going straight to her voicemail. “hey, this is billie. leave a message. love you!”

you frowned, your head falling back against the wall behind you. why did the 'love you' feel so bittersweet?

“hey, bils. i miss you. a lot. call me back?” 

you didn’t know why you knew she wouldn’t. she wouldn’t call you back, she wouldn’t text you, she certainly wouldn’t be picking you up from this hell of a party. 

in fact, it was likely that you and billie would never call again. 

it was then that you remembered: billie wasn’t yours to call, and she hadn’t been in a long time. 

billie wasn’t your person any more, the two of you had fallen apart and she was no longer your shoulder to cry on, your partner in crime, your bird of a feather. she was no longer the one who could make you laugh louder than anybody else. she was no longer the person who would pick you up when you were drunk off your face and laugh at the way you slurred your words before falling asleep at your side. 

billie didn’t pick up, and it would be unfair to expect her to. 

maybe you needed to stop trying to force the stars to align when she had already found a new one, and that love burned brighter than yours ever could.

[vijaxx]

taglist

comment here to be added to my taglist for future fics!

@47lake @hkkuugu @st0nerIesb0 @n0vabug @everythingtruly @darkside-0f-the-sun @vyntagess

[d0wn-in-the-morgue]

DUDE.

what part of "they are brothers", TWIN BROTHERS TO BE EXACT, do toll shippers NOT understand 😭😭 i genuinely wanna know what goes through their brains. why. WHY. WHYYYY. and the fact that tom and bill have talked about it and how its weird, youre just being even more disrespectful to them which is just making you a fuckin fake fan 💀

tumblr, PLEASE stop reccomending me fuckass toll ship accounts. the only reason i dont block them is so they can fuckin see posts like these, and so they know how much we all hate them 😝 WE DO NOT WANT YOU IN THIS FANDOM.

"dont like, leave" GET OFF MY FUCKIN DICK.. all you do is make this entire community uncomfortable and you give our fandom a bad name 😭 this is one of the MANY reasons i feel embarrassed saying tokio hotel are my favourite band

again, i just wanna fuckin know what goes through these peoples minds when they think "oh yeah! im gonna edit a photo of these two brothers to make it look like theyre kissing" or "oh yeah! im gonna write an entire smut fic about two FUCKING TWIN BRTERHJSBDJSGHDJKDH"

and i changed my mind, i want all the toll shippers to interact so i can put them on blast and send as much hate as i can to them 🫶🫶

you guys are stinkin WEIRD...

@darkside-0f-the-sun

[den-xerw-giati-uparxw]

Bold and tag game

rules: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 people to do it.

I was tagged by: @darkside-cookies-913 thank you so much, I love this kind of games!

APPEARANCE

I’m over 5’5” / 165cm // I wear glasses/contacts// I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing  // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces// I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition// I can cook or bake without a recipe// I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing// I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush// I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside //the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle //I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least three dogs

I'm tagging: @dakrya-kai-ponos @nystazw-para-poly @kapse-to-soutien-sou @kwnstantina03 @keno-synolo @bipolar-kamikaze @anapopheukto @romantismosss @companionofthemoon @melirrytos @fake-feelings03 @pagokolwna @y0ur-cup-0f-c0ffee @pame-gi-alla @i-love-beer @nystazw-poly

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

just bill being a silly boy pt. 12 i think????

i like haven’t been posting at all but life’s been a bitch so yk

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

i js wanna rant for a sec but bitches saying shit about how smut shouldn’t be on tumblr and how it not a por website is so stupid like i’ll say it one and i’ll say it again it’s TUMBLR what more can you expect??? there’s smut and people talking about their sexual fantasies in literally every single fucking fandom like trust me i’ve been in a few different fandoms and every single one i’ve been in there’s always been smut, there has always been talking about sexual fantasies it’s literally js how tumblr is and if you don’t like it then we do not care grow tf up and block the accounts if it rly bothers you that much. go to like pinterest or something js leave smut writers and innocent people alone bro no one cares

anyways i’d let bill do whatever he wanted to me😍😛😘😉😜

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

chat if life doesn’t get even a little better by the end of the year im ending it all fr

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

just bill being a silly boy pt.9??

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

bill has a crush on the reader

ok so i wasn’t completely sure what you exactly wanted but i js did headcannons<3

bill having having a crush headcannons

he definitely giggles when thinking about you 

he has a little box under his bed of things you’ve gifted him or pictures of you two 

he tries to hide his crush

but he’s really bad at it

he thinks he’s being so slick too

if you complement him that guy is BLUSHING so bad i swear

even if it’s js something as simple as saying his hair hair or makeup looks good

he’s giggling and stuttering 

it’s adorable 

he be dreaming about you

like dreams about you two being together and starting a family and that cute shit

tom was the first to find out about his little crush

and the the rest of the guys

the endless teasing was CRAZY

it eventually calmed down but it was never completely stopped 

he would write songs about you

god i haven’t written in months but wtv i hope this is goooddd for you<3

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

happy birthday to my favourite twinsss

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

just bill being a silly boy pt 8 i think

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

me cuz i’m starting to count my calories, weight myself every night, restrict what i eat and am literally going insane:

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

“good girl”

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

“idc that school shootings happen”

this def isn’t targeted…

[darkside-0f-the-sun]

trump was shot????

too bad they missed