#dark!eris vanserra

[aphroditelovesu]

yandere eris from acotar maybe?

''You know very well my reasons for doing this.'' — Eris Vanserra.

❝ 🍂 — lady l: yes, yes and yes! Ah, finally someone asked him! As soon as I saw this request I couldn't control myself and wrote 👀. I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 🧡

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, jealousy, mention of murder, manipulation, unhealthy relationships.

❝🍂pairing: yandere!eris vanserra x gender neutral!reader.

Eris Vanserra projects a strong air of arrogance, of superiority, as expected from the heir of a Court. He appears to be someone who is violent and has ulterior motives and that is true, at least for the most part. But there is something about Eris that few know.

He is very intelligent and observant, his gaze is always sharp and a mischievous smile on his lips. You will never know what he is thinking or planning unless he wants you to.

Eris is very manipulative, he always knows how to say the right words to convince anyone to do whatever he wants. Including his darling, although he prefers not to manipulate you, he is not above doing so if he deems it necessary.

Not much is known about him, not even you know. The few times he let his feelings and thoughts show are when he allows himself to be vulnerable by your side. These moments are rare, but when they occur you realize how much he cares about you.

He has done many bad things in his life and there are few that he regrets, and yet he will always be insensitive about it. Eris doesn't care about many things besides himself and what he truly values. Yet he cares about you, more than he has ever cared about anyone. You became his most forbidden desire, his obsession.

Eris seems like an intriguing enigma, someone you could call two-faced. He shows his different sides to each person, but you are the one who knows his true side, his true personality. Eris is skilled at hiding his true feelings and intentions, but the connection you have allows him to be more vulnerable.

He feels connected to you in a way he's never felt with anyone before, maybe you're mates or just really close, but Eris knows he loves you and that's scary. The world is dangerous, people are dangerous and they may try to use you against them. He can't let that happen.

If someone dared to hurt you, Eris will be ruthless and merciless. You had never seen him so furious, so eager to kill, gut and burn. He seemed like a different person, so crazy and overcome with the murderous rage that consumed him. Only when he was left with ash and the smell of burning flesh did he take a deep breath and head towards it. His gaze softening and almost pleading with you. Your heart broke right there.

For him, you are something more than a simple fixation, than an obsession. You mean a beginning, a life away from the traumas inflicted on him. He reserves a softer and more affectionate side to you. This suggests a deep connection between you, something that goes beyond the manipulations or the more austere exterior he projects to the world.

Eris is quite possessive, but he is not consumed by these feelings. He deals with them in another way, usually by making it very clear to everyone who you belong to. An arm around your shoulders, a sharp gaze, and a stern expression usually do the trick. But if it doesn't work, he doesn't mind dealing permanently with that person.

He's no stranger to killing someone to get what he wants and that's no different when it comes to you. He wants you and he will have you, simple as that. Anyone who gets in his way will suffer the consequences.

Eris tries to be by your side as much as possible, he's not clingy but he likes to have some kind of physical contact with you. Like holding hands for example. He would spoil you with everything that money can buy and power can offer. This male will be willing to spend a fortune just to pamper you, to do all your wishes.

His dogs love you too and know that they must protect you at any cost, considering how important you are to Eris. He delights in watching you play with his dogs.

Having Eris Vanserra behind you is something complicated. His sharp intelligence and manipulative skills can be both captivating and dangerous, and if you try to escape, he won't let you. You are the only good thing, the only good person he has in his life and he will not lose that. He won't lose you.

[secret-third-thing]

WIP Wednesday!

I'm excited to share a snippet of And the Hounds Bayed, a Southern Gothic styled fic centered on a very irredeemable Eris Vanserra.

🐶 Lucien, Elain, Nesta, and Azriel are all featured in this fic!

🐶 There's a lot of dog imagery and other dog things :)

🐶 The fic is scheduled to drop Feb 22!

🐶 Warning: Graphic(ish) descriptions of Violence

The forest was silent again, stilling as the hounds tore through the underbrush. Eris pulled the gun from his shoulder and plodded forward. His fingers danced over the rifle's worn metal to flick the safety free. Three generations of his kin had drawn a bead down this same barrel.  His father had passed it to him when he had been young, bringing him to the heart of the wood to down a buck. A rite of passage: to claim a life to signal the start of his own. Beron had watched his son with a skeptic’s squint, waiting for his eldest to cower before the task at hand. Yet Eris was wrought from the same wretched world as he was and rained down a leaden hail until the forest ran red with the blood of all that had been nearby. In this moment, Eris had found peace, an inner stillness born of the hunt’s grim ritual. 

[sarawritestories]

I Died With Her

Eris Vanserra X Fem Reader

Summary: Beron discovers your mating bond...A cruel prophecy fulfilled.

Content Warning: Death of Main Character, Murder, Unnatural cruelty, Beron's demise.

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: Its short and angsty...and I may be persuaded to make a part two. I also apologize if this one is not my best. I'm in a slump but this

Eris’s blood ran cold as he entered the throne room. His brothers grinning in cruel delight. His father standing in front of a throne that he did not deserve. Beron’s hand threaded through the now tangled mess of your hair. Forcing you to look your mate in the eye while your knees dug into the concrete. Tears streamed down your face as you met Eris’s russet eyes. Memorizing every sharp angle of his beautiful face, every freckle that kissed his pale skin, try to remember the feeling of his soft, thick locks through your fingertips. Memorizing the sweet scent of the fall breeze, embers with a hint of cinnamon that brought you so much comfort. Your beautiful mate, best friend, love of your life.

If only you had had more time.

Eris was staring at you as well, memorizing your sweet doe eyes, the plump curve of your lips, your smile, the warmth of your skin against his. The things he may never get a chance to encounter again, your laugh, your soft snores as you laid on his lap, the way you would scrunch your nose when reading your book, or how your body eased and relaxed simply being near him. How you were his equal in every way and how his body sang in harmony with yours. Clearing his throat he placed his cool mask on, “What is the meaning of this?”

Beron’s smirk was cruel as he yanked your hair back causing you to yelp. “I found something that belonged to you. I must say the bitch was hard to find.” Eris snarled as Beron released his grip and kicked your back, your hands and knees preventing your face from colliding with the ornate flooring. “She is yours isn’t she, Boy?”

“I would never sully myself with a common whore.” Lies, lies. The words felt like ash against his tongue. You lifted your head only slightly, and the solitary wobble of your lower lip broke his façade. Eris met his father’s gaze with fury in his russet eyes and fire roaring through his veins.

“There he is. Eris the lover.” Beron taunted pressing his foot against your back forcing you down on the cold marble and you cried out. “I didn’t raise you to be a romantic.” Beron snarled.

“You didn’t raise me at all.” Eris retorted his lip curling upward.

Beron quirked, “I should have known. Well, it’s a good thing I handled that problem already.” The High Lord of Autumn clapped his hands forcing his weight down on you causing you to whimper in pain. You reached out for Eris, only for one of the guards to intentionally step on your delicate fingers and you bit back your scream. As the guard approached with the head of Eris’ mother detached from her body.

Eris felt the bile rise from his throat at the sight and he clutched at his chest.

“Eris, I want you to listen to me.” The Lady of Autumn held her son close to her bosom. Eris, barely six, snuggled close to the warm scent of his mother. “One day, you are going to find your mate.” She smiled and tucked a loose strand of his copper red hair behind his ear and the young fae leaned into his mother’s touch. “When you do. You need to promise me to take care of them. Love them with all your heart.” She gripped his chin, “You keep them away from your father. Run far away from here.”

Eris scrunched his face, “I don’t want a mate. I want to be with you forever.” He smiled up at his mother, He tilted his head as he watched his mother’s eyes line with silver. “Mama, why are you crying?”

She pressed her soft lips against his forehead, “I just love you so much, My little flame.” Leaning her head against the top of his, “You can be with me for as long as you want.”

“Get off me!” You shrieked bring Eris to the presence, flames licking his skins as two of his brothers grabbed a hold of you to keep you in place as Beron fetched for a blade and Eris’ flames banked out. Your eyes found his once more and she mouthed “I love you.”

He mouthed those three letters back and then bolted toward his father, but not before two of his younger brothers grabbed him and forced him on his knees. Tears began to form, blurring his vision, he desperately tried to blink away to memorize every crevice of your face. “Eris,” Your voice cracked, and Eris could feel your fear and love shot down the bond to him and he felt his heart breaking. “I will see you in the next life. Being your mate has been the greatest gift the cauldron could ever have granted me.” Eris let loose a broken sob. “Promise me. You will move on. You will find reasons to smile. Love freely. Remember that I loved you.”

Eris could barely see, his breathing shallowed as the pain flooded his entire body. “I love you, Little Flame. I’m so sorry.”

You smiled, “I’m not. Being loved by you was the closest thing I would get to The Mother. If I could do it over and never change a thing.” Tears streaked your perfect face and yet being the brave female, he knew you where you straightened your posture. And the last words Eris heard, your sweet voice echoing through the throne room. “Long Live the High Lord of The Autumn Court.” Her eyes drifted to Eris as the eldest Vanserra son watched his father approach. “Eris Vanserra.”

The sword sliced through the air and Eris’s scream thundered through the entire continent. Eris’s body moved on its own, consumed by rage and grief and the numbness that came with the bond deteriorating. In the manner of thirty seconds, Eris Vanserra had lost everything…

And then he saw red.

Refusing to look at the floor, not wanting to see your head detached from your body. He refused to think about the plans he had made with you, a wedding, a family, a life of freedom, a chance to run away. Gone. At the hands of the man who was laughing with his brothers about your demise.

No one disrespects his mate.

Eris had no memory of the events that occurred when he rose to his feet, but when he was done, the entire throne room was in flames, the screams of his brothers and his father drowned by the familiar crackling sound of his flames. Letting the throne room burn, he exited out into the forest, your headless body in his arms. Eris felt nothing, the gold thread that once shined bright, fell limp and became ash. As Eris buried your body in your favorite clearing, he knew one thing was certain.

Any kindness he held in his heart died with you.

Story Taglist:

General Tag: @milswrites @lady-of-tearshed @tsunami-of-tears @readychilledwine @ceoofyearning

@velariscalling @daycourtofficial @prythianpages @writingcroissant @itsswritten

@illyrianbitch @acotarxreader @pit-and-the-pen @nocasdatsgay @labyrinth-of-stories-and-stars

@ninthcircleofprythian @thelov3lybookworm @riddlesb1tch @lilah-asteria

@kylaisra @nickishadow139 @aelincaddel @nighttimemoonlover @demirunner

@marvelbros-oneshots @mybestfriendmademe @le

[achaotichuman]

Ngl today alone I have seen countless men who could easily play Rhysand if they were given violet contacts and bat wings.

In my entire period of living I have seen maybe one or two people that could MAYBE pass for Tamlin if they had makeup on.

I have never, ever in my life passed a man on the street who could play Lucien or Eris Vanserra.

[littlest-w01f]

Cakes

Eris Vanserra x his (and Rhea's) daughter

For @erisweekofficial

Eris Week 2024 Masterlist

Day 2: Childhood/Legacy

Summary: Eris takes a step towards not being like his father while putting firm boundaries with his daughter.

Cw: Fluff, a lil angst

"Dalia Cersei Vanserra." Eris crossed his arms over his chest, watching his daughter sitting in the middle of the kitchen, chocolate cakes on the floor, his daughter's chubby cheeks and lips covered in the desert. "Why are you up at this hour?"

The little girl gasps and looks up at him, her violet eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights, "Da!" Dalia giggles, her small hands trying to wipe off some of the chocolate from her face but only smearing it further. "Da! Hi Da!" She says again, looking at her father with bright eyes full of excitement.

He chuckles softly, reaching down to scoop her up into his strong arms, feeling her tiny body squirming against him as he holds her close. "What are you doing awake, sweetheart? It's the middle of the night."

Her eyes light up even more at the sound of his voice, she starts babbling something about cakes and rolls and milk while pointing towards the open door leading out to the kitchen.

Dalia was always full of energy, especially when there was food involved, anything sweet had the girl on a roll. Dalia's tiny hands flew up to her mouth as she tried to stifle a giggle, her body shaking with suppressed laughter. The sight of her father's stern look, only made the situation more comical in her innocent mind. She couldn't help but let out a snort.

Eris raised an eyebrow, his expression unchanging despite the adorable scene before him. He held Dalia closer as he walked, his bare feet thudding against the tile floor. "Did you hear me, young lady?" he asked firmly, trying to maintain his authoritative tone amidst the chaos of his daughter's antics, refusing to smile and let her get away with being way past her sleep time and sending herself into a sugar rush.

He tried to recall what his mate had said, that if he wouldn't even try to discipline their daughter he might end up at the other extreme opposite to his father, he sighed softly, looking at the precious girl he had made with his lovely Rheana, the said girl was happily licking her fingers to clean the chocolate. He would explain to her how what she did was wrong, make sure she understood it, it should be easy enough, instead of whatever his father would've done, which was strike at him in different ways. Eris' eyes darkened at the thought of any harm like that coming to the precious bundle in his arms.

He felt the darkness shifting in the room, his love was watching, there for him if he needed help, but Eris refused to call upon her, determined to handle this situation himself. he set his girl down in her bed in her cosy room.

Eris sat down in front of Dalia, his large frame towering over her yet maintaining eye contact, ensuring he had her full attention. He took one of her small, sticky hands in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. His voice softened, yet remained firm, "Little one, what you're doing is called sneaking out of your bed in the middle of the night, remember? We decided it wasn't a good thing, right?"

Dalia nodded, her eyes still wide but filled with curiosity rather than fear. She tilted her head slightly, her braided red hair swaying gently behind her. "But… I just wanted a treat, dada."

Eris smiled warmly at her honesty, then explained, "It's not about wanting a treat, sweetheart. It's about following rules. You see, your Mama and I work hard to keep you safe and healthy."

His words were calm, as he looked at her, he couldn't understand how his father had done what he did while looking into the eyes on his daughter, if he too had looked up this innocently at his father for answers and was met with torture instead, "And part of keeping you safe means making sure you're sleeping soundly in your bed."

He stroked her chocolate-covered hands. "This," he emphasized, pointing at the sweet desert remains, "Is delicious, yes? But we need to be careful when we eat things like these because they give us energy, and too much energy all at once could make our bodies sick."

As he spoke, he waved his hand, his magic cleaning his daughter fully. "So, while having a taste is okay sometimes, we shouldn’t fill ourselves up so late at night. That’s why bedtime snacks aren’t allowed, okay?"

Dalia's eyes squinted a little in confusion, "But you and Mama say I can get anything I want in life if I try hard enough... And I really wanted some chocolate cake."

Eris let out a hearty laugh at his daughter's innocent bewilderment, "Well, my love, you still have a sleep time, don't you? If you don't sleep at night, you will be tired in the morning and miss the sparrows." He then only noticed the door of her room, scorch marks on the handle, she had used her budding power to open the door to her room, like mother like daughter for sure.

Dalia gasped at the thought of missing her sparrows, setting herself back in bed and closing her eyes, mumbling something about the birdies. After a moment she opened a single eye to see Eris still standing there, then closed them again, pretending to be asleep.

His heart melted at the sight of his little girl faking sleep, another trick she'd learned from her mother. He gave her a tender kiss on the forehead, murmuring, "Goodnight, princess."

"I'm sorry, Da." Dalia called out as Eris stood at the door to her room, "I'll be good and rest... Can we play together in the morning with the sparrows?"

Eris turned around, a warm smile spreading across his face as he gazed lovingly at his daughter. "Of course we can, sweetheart. In fact, after breakfast, we'll go outside and build a special feeder just for those feathered friends of yours. But first, you must promise to stay in bed until the sun rises. No sneaking out for midnight treats, deal?"

Dalia's eyelids fluttered open, her violet eyes sparkling with excitement at the prospect of spending time with her father. "Deal, Da! I promise!"

With that, Eris quietly exited the room, leaving a contented and sleepy little girl to drift off into slumber, dreaming of sparrow-filled mornings ahead.

With one last lingering glance at his babe, he left the room quietly, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. As he walked back to his bedroom, he found his Rheana waiting for him. "Everything alright?" She asked, concern etched on her beautiful features.

He smiled reassuringly at his mate, pulling her close and planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "Everything's fine, my love. Our little troublemaker is fast asleep now, dreaming of birds and chocolate cake."

Rheana let out a soft sigh, her body relaxing against his touch. "I wasn't worried for a moment. You handled that beautifully."

Eris tensed slightly as he remembered his childhood, memories of his abusive upbringing threatening to resurface. However, he quickly pushed them aside, focusing instead on the warmth and comfort of his mate's embrace. "Yes, well… I refuse to repeat history. Our children will know nothing but love and understanding under our roof."

Eris snuggled into Rheana's arms, his head resting under her chin, arms wrapped around her muscular form, he couldn't help his memories as they threatened to drown him.

"Hey..." Rheana whispered softly, feeling his distress, "Would you like to talk about it?" She asked, wrapping her arms around him, knowing his needed to be held without even asking.

"No," He finally answered, "Let's leave it where it belongs, in the past. There's no point dwelling on the mistakes of our fathers."

But still, as he said, he couldn't help but think of his own childhood, how he enjoyed nature, the red falling leaves, jumping on them to see how hard they would crunch, but his father had not liked it, that he was having fun. The first time Beron had raised his hand on him, he had beaten him bloody for having fun with his brothers on the autumn leaves

Memories flooded Eris' mind, each one a painful reminder of the cruelty he endured growing up. He recalled the countless times his father's fists had connected with his skin, whips, knives, the blood dripping down his face, the searing pain that never seemed to subside. Even now, centuries later, the scars ran deep, both physical and emotional.

As he lay there, lost in the darkness of his past, Rheana's soothing presence brought him back to the present. Her gentle strokes along his back and the comforting weight of her body against his own served as a balm to his troubled soul.

"I remember when you first told me about your childhood," Rheana murmured, her breath warm against his ear. "It broke my heart to know you suffered through such torment. But you're strong, Eris."

"You're worth so much, my love." Rheana kissed his cheek and neck, "My precious fire. Beron is dead. Our children have an advantage of never knowing him. Yes, we'll make mistakes, it's inevitable to, but what's most important is for her to have her safe place with us, the rest we'll figure out as we go."

Her words, laced with love and affection, worked their magic, slowly drawing him out of the depths of despair. The sensation of her lips against his skin sent a tingling sensation coursing through his veins, reminding him of the warmth and safety he found in her arms. "I love you, Rhea."

Slowly, the shadows of his past receded, replaced by the bright glow of his future with Rheana. He knew he could overcome any hardship as long as he had her by his side.

"I love you too," Rheana smiled softly, cupping his cheeks, planting kisses all over his face, "For anything you might need from me. Forever."

{General Taglist - @nox-ceur @lilah-asteria @paleidiot @dee-writes-smut @adalia-jaycee @anarchiii @alwayshave-faith @velarisnightsky444 @minnieoo}

{Eris Taglist- @fxckmiup @slut4acotar @secret-third-thing @shadowsingers-mate @fieldofdaisiies @st4r-girl-official}

{Flames and Darkness Taglist - @anuttellaa @tuggboatfishin @inloveallthetime}

[yourlittlebunnyy]

my opinions on:

characters

chapter 42 acomaf

why tamlin is not an abuser

cassian is worse than rhysand

ACOTAR

tamlin

azriel

eris

kallias

lucien

elain/amren/nyx soon

my request are open!

currently I'm writing for acotar characters, but I'm also open to other fandoms maybe in the future.

i write for tamlin, azriel, eris, lucien, kallias, amren, elain, nyx (aged up/platonic).

i also have rules about requests.

-please dont ask me to write weird stuff (ex. pedophilia, rape,...).

-it takes time to write! please don't be mad if i take my time.

-i write smut, but don't expect me to write porn. And yes, there is a big difference.

divider credits @cafekitsune

[readychilledwine]

Death of Peace of Mind - Part 1

Summary - We all believe Eris has a cabin hidden in the Autumn woods that he keeps his mate in, but what if she wasn't there willingly?

Warnings - technically kidnapping, sighs of setting in Stockholm Syndrome, technically signs of abuse/neglect towards a partner, inferred smut

A/N - this part is fairly mild, but the ending should tell you all what's coming. This is a pretty big time jump between this part and the little preview *link coming soon.* at this point our "unnamed" oc has been trapped in Eris's cabin for 7 months now

Ps- do we think Eris and Lucien need their own foxboy dividers? (I low-key do)

Part two

*6 months into her entrapment*

Eris had left his mate alone in his cabin for a  month now. Warding her within the 20 foot radius he gave her for exploration. 

It had taken time to tame her. More time than he had wanted it to, but he still knew it was what was best for her. 

He leaned back in his chair, listening to the advisor his father was allowing to drag on speak about how they need to tax the lesser fae harder. It wasn't a sentiment he argued with despite his face showing neutrality towards the idea of continuing to rob the poor and hungry, but he knew better than to start an argument.

An argument would mean he'd be there longer, or have to deal with his father's wrath and whatever punishment he felt fit. Being quiet meant getting back to his mate sooner. It meant seeing if his isolation plan had worked sooner. And when it did, it meant in a few more hours, he'd be buried inside of her. 

-

She knew he was coming home soon and tucked her legs into her chest. The silence had been welcomed. Wanted even if she was honest with herself. But she was lonely. He'd left her with one hound instead of the usual 3, and not even a hound who wanted to be with her.

She was confused by him. Her body begging and pleading to bend to his every wish and want, to be his, but er mind screaming to run, to fight. Her heart stood tore in the middle. She'd always wanted a mate, she just have never wanted this isolation.

She jumped as the door opened and familiar claws ran across the wood floor rushing to come greet her. She turned to pet little fluffy heads, one hound in each hand as he took off his jacket and shoes.

"You told me it'd only be a few days," her heart tightened. "You were gone for a month."

Eris quickly hid the tugging smile. "Did you miss me then?"

"No." Yes. She realized she had answered too quickly. His brow raised indicated he didn't believe her. And who could blame him when she didn't believe herself. "It just isn't something a proper mate would do." 

Eris felt his shoulders grow stiff, his head turned to the side slightly as if he were assessing her. "So a month of loneliness is all it took for you to acknowledge the bond? To acknowledge you are mine?"

She felt the weight of his questions hit her. That had been his plan all along, to force loneliness so deep it cut through her sanity. He moved to her, hands falling to her hips and gripping tightly. He was waiting for an answer. "Speak, fox." He said to her, "Tell me of your nights without my body and magic keeping the sheets warm, of how cold the cabin grew without me keeping the fires lit. Tell me how desperate you were for me. For my touch."

His gaze was serpentine. Staring her down as if she were no more than a wounded animal. "I didn't mean it that way," her voice was weak.

"You know better than to lie, little fox," one hand moved up her body. "Now greet me like a proper mate who missed her other half." She shook her head, refusing to give him that one carnal desire. Eris clicked his tongue. "Maybe I was mistaken in thinking you were ready for time apart. I thought we were past this." His hands on her hips grew tighter and warmer. She felt her lip tremble. "Do you need a reminder of who this body belongs to? Of who makes it sing?" His right hand moved up her body. "Not a single day went by where I did not miss and think of you. Of the good girl I left at home."

His words were a soft confession and opening. His Amber eyes met her doe ones. The offer shining brightly. If she gave him this one thing, he would be gentle with her tonight. "Well, little love," his hand tilted her face to his. "Will you give me a welcome home kiss?"

Her mind screamed for her to fight longer, to fight more. Her heart begged to cave to this new gentleness he was offering. Her body screamed for it as well. It screamed to be reunited with her mate, despite his isolation methods, despite his cruelty.

She caved, hands finding his chest, her soul, and heart, singing from finally having contact and socialization again. She began kissing him deeply despite the dimming protests in her mind.

-

Eris knew of her independence when he ripped her from her parents home. He had begun to use it as a reward against her.

If she behaved, he allowed her a taste of freedom, of what they would have when his father was gone. And last night had behaved beautifully. 

She had allowed him to take her, the way he truly wanted, with soft caresses and whispered words of adoration and worship. She had cried and begged for him as if he was her savior and salvation all in one. 

So today, he took her to Spring. Allowing her to explore the once destroyed but now flourishing market.

"Good girls get rewards," he had murmured into her naked skin as he took her again this morning. 

He didn't even notice her plotting. He only finally noticed when they had reached an area that was more lively than others and she was no longer at his side. 

But if she wanted a game of chase, if she wanted to ruin this beautiful day the two of them were having. He was more than happy to oblige and trap her back in that cabin until she understood one simple fact.

She wasn't going to go home. 

-

Her heart was racing as she pulled the scarf further over her hair and weaved between bodies. 

She didn't bother looking at anyone. Didn't return their joyful good mornings. She had to focus on her escape. On crossing that border into Autumn and getting home.

She quickly made it to that odd edge between courts, were bright green grass contrasted deep golden orange and burning red hues. 

She took off running when the bond warned her he was close. Her home was a 3 days journey by horseback from Spring. She had no clue if she'd make it there, or how long it could take, but this kiss of freedom was worth it.

She was near the cabin when nightfall came giving away to cold air. She was starving, exhausted, and her body felt as if she had been laying on hot pokers all day.

Every step to keep herself warm was tedious as her legs grew heavier. Every rustle of leaves had her on edge.

She stood at the small clearing, knowing a right would take her back to the cabin, to somewhere safe and warm. A left would take her towards the border of Winter. Continuing straight would take her home. 

She knew these woods weren't safe. That she was not safe. I was safe in the cabin, her mind whispered. He may be cruel, but I was always safe.

-

Eris watched her from up in the trees unknown to her. He had found her hours ago with the 9 hounds that were also stalking her like prey. 

One of them paused, ears folding back and his body going low to the ground as he growled. Eris smelled the beast before he heard it or saw in. He gave the signal for his hounds to hold and waited, a bow and arrow notched. 

Soulless black eyes stared at his mate, long claws emerged from its hands as it stalked around her and she stood there frozen in fear. "The dark mother has brought me a blessing," the creature hissed to her. "A treat wandering into the forest all by herself." 

Eris kept his arrow lined and true with the beast but never released it. The hounds were growing restless, itching to destroy the monster, threatening the female they considered their mother. She didn't even move as it raised a clawed hand to brush her cheek, only whimpered out of fear. "Your screams will be delicious." 

It's other clawed hand raised and Eris took the opening, shooting the beast in the ribs and heart before it could harm his little mate and giving the hounds the signal to attack.

He jumped down, and she looked at him, eyes welled with tears before running into his arms.

"I'm sorry," she kept whispering. "I'm so sorry. Take me home. Please. Please don't make me stay out here." 

Eris put her at an arm's length, faking a look of indifference. "I offered you my love, my safety, my protection. I gave you a treat for your good behavior, and you repay me by running away?" Her lips trembled as her tears fell faster. "You truly expect me to take you back to the cabin you seem to hate so much?" He whistled for his hounds, signaling them to stop the attack and head home. "Why shouldn't I leave you in these woods, alone and cold?"

Her body shook with sobs. "Eris please. I'm so scared."

"And you could have been home safe. If you would have played your part, had you been a good little mate. A night out here would be the consequences of your own actions." 

A whimper ripped through her. "I'll give you anything, please. Please take me back."

Eris cocked his head at her, "Anything?" He purred in delight. Holding his hand out. "If I bring you home, you never run again, you will serve me a meal, and you will move into my chambers when I place as high lord with no further arguments."

It was a slap in the face. Her mind was reeling instantly, pleading with her to just leave. To turn towards winter, to turn towards anywhere and leave. "You can shake my hand and seal the bargain, or you can stay in these woods. Cold, afraid, and alone. Thousands of females would slaughter each other with no hesitation for your spot at my side."

The mating bond growled in possession inside of her, her heart shattered at the idea of him with someone else. Her body moved on its own choice, her hand slowly raising and holding his. 

Eris growled in satisfaction. "I expect my dinner tomorrow night, little fox." He picked her up, warming her freezing body with his own as he walked to the cabin. "Let's get you inside and safe."

-

He tucked her naked body into the bed. Warming the sheets to fight the chill that had sunk into her bones. She was covered in evidence of his love for her. He grinned with male satisfaction before moving to the living room and checking over the 9 sleeping hounds who had been treated to her love and treats. 

He walked out of the door, whistling three times for the last three to come in. They jogged to the door happily, little scraps of her clothing still attached to their collars. He took the clothing off of them, throwing it into the hearth where the rest of the dress had burned early, and he patted them each gently.

"Good hounds," he spoke softly. "You lead it straight to her."

[vixenshiftsvrs]

I'm sorry but the unspeakable things I would do to have Eris, Cassian, Azriel, Rhysand, Helion, Casteel, Fenrys, Rowan, Lorcan, Aaron, Cardan and so on... just exist other than between pages is shocking like sweet fuck the things i would let these men do to me

[acotarmemes]

ACOTAR poll // pet hoarder

[shadowqueenjude]

Whenever you feel up to it, I would love for you to expand on the haircolor post because I find that super interesting. But only when you feel up to it. RIP to your bun bun 💙

Thank you for your condolences 🥺

Haha the hair thing is ridiculous but it’s a pattern that’s prevalent in fandoms. A lot of people will overlook a character’s flaws if they fulfill the “dark-haired bad boy” trope. The best examples of this are the bat boys. If you think about it, Rhysand’s crimes are far worse than Nesta’s. Nesta antis are still hung up over the whole “She was mean in the cottage and did nothing !” thing when she was just a kid and you can’t really expect her to provide for a family at that age. And honestly for an older sibling she’s not even that mean; my older sibling has done way worse and I don’t consider him abusive😭. But Rhysand gets a pass for sexually assaulting Feyre and manipulating her and locking Lucien and Nesta up for no reason. There’s a lot more but I won’t get into it lol. At least he’s the MC tho.

The most baffling thing is that Azriel is more popular than Lucien AND Eris. He canonically has no personality and the little that we got of him totally creeps me out. But people obsess over him legitimately because of his dark hair and his rumored big dick (unconfirmed). Plus people will ship him with the woman he was totally creepy with (Elain). Sorry but I need a little more substance in a man.😭

[aphroditelovesu]

Eris Vanserra love letter to his mate💖💖

My precious mate,

In this enchanted Court, where the golden leaves dance in the wind and the twilight spills over in shades of orange and pink, is where I find the true essence of my existence. From the moment we met, (Y/N), my life lit up with a beauty I never imagined.

In the Autumnal Court, your beauty is completed by the exuberant sights. You have become my source of inspiration and love. Each day by your side is like a rare ray of sunshine that warms my soul and makes my heart flutter.

With every smile you give me, with every gentle touch, my love for you grows even more. It's as if autumn itself, with all its magic, had chosen to bring our destinies together. Every moment shared with you is a perfect painting, a harmonious melody that cradles our hearts.

I promise to protect and care for you, (Y/N), with all my being. We are mates and that bond is unbreakable, and it is the purest expression of the love that burns in me. I am willing to face any challenge to keep our love strong.

Please accept my heart, (Y/N), and know that, amidst it all, you are the brightest flame. Together we will be like leaves dancing in the wind, forever bound by the magic of our love.

With all my love,

Eris Vanserra.

[andrigyn]

A Swing in the Dark - Moodboard

[lyssasdrafts]

i can’t explain it but i feel like the sakuatsu fans are also azris fans

[vellichor01]

What are y'all's favorite elements of dark romance?

[littlest-w01f]

Heated

Eris x Rheana (See Rheana here)

For @acotar-omegaverse-week

Omegaverse week 2024 Masterlist

Day 2: Turning Up The Heat

Summary: Eris had kept this side of him a secret for so long that he didn't think he'd get so desperate for his mate when his heat hit

Cw: Heat, pegging, Alpha!Rheana, Omega!Eris, FxM, mentions of B*ron's abuse of Eris at the end, Smut 18+ MDNI

A/n: I would like to really thank the week mods for giving me an excuse for writing Rheana pegging Eris cause I've been dreaming about this moment since day one

Rheana walked the halls of the Autumn palace, looking for Eris, she could sense his distress through their bond, and should've known something was wrong with him when he excused himself from a very important meeting, something he normally wouldn't do, she found him in their shared chambers.

Eris lay on the bed, gasping for breath, as Rheana entered the chamber, her keen senses immediately picked up on the change in Eris's scent. The normal aroma was now laced with a heady sweetness, unmistakable evidence of his heat. His body glistened with sweat, each muscle taut and quivering as he struggled to catch his breath.

She reached out a hand, gently brushing back a strand of damp hair from his forehead. "Eris," she whispered softly, her voice a soothing balm to his frayed nerves. "It's okay, my love. I'm here for you."

"Rhea..." Eris whined, chest rising as her skilled hands worked his tunic off, "I... I don't... I don't know what's wrong with me."

Rheana's eyes softened, "Oh baby, nothing is wrong with you... You've just gone into heat."

Eris groaned at Rheana's words, his body writhing under her touch. He tried to speak but all that came out were guttural sounds of need and desire. His eyes fluttered open, revealing dark eyes clouded with lust, reflecting the burning fire within him.

Rheana's fingers deftly removed his tunic, exposing his chiselled torso. Every inch of him seemed to burn hotter than usual, every nerve ending screaming for relief. His cock twitched against his pants, straining.

"Rhea," he moaned again, reaching out for her. "Please… help me."

Rheana nodded, her fingers deftly working at Eris's pants, freeing his hard cock. His clothes fell away, and he lay bare, body burning with arousal, the scent of his slick thick in the air.

"I know it must seem overwhelming," Rheana continued, her voice low and comforting. "But we'll get through this. Just remember how good it feels once we're through, alright?"

Eris nodded weakly, unable to form coherent thoughts anymore. All he could focus on was the throbbing ache between his legs, begging for release. His cock sprang free, standing proud and eager, dripping precum wherever it could reach.

Rheana's hands were gentle yet firm as they caressed his thighs, spreading them wide to give her better access. Her touch sent sparks shooting through his veins, making him buck his hips upwards instinctively as she gave his cock a few strokes before leaning in to lick at the head, sucking softly.

"Oh-" he breathed out, watching as Rheana leaned down to take him into her mouth.

Eris's back arched off the bed as Rheana's warm, wet mouth enveloped his throbbing cock. Her tongue swirled around the sensitive head, teasing and coaxing out more precum. She took him deeper, her mouth massaging his cock as she bobbed up and down.

"E-ahh! Rhea!" Eris cried out, his hands tangling in her hair to have some semblance of hold. His hips rocked in time with her strokes, trying to fuck her face with desperate abandon, but she moved at her own pace. The sensation was intense, bordering on pain, but he couldn't stop, didn't want to stop. Not until he exploded down her throat and from the scent of his pheromones, Rheana knew he wouldn't last long at all.

The pleasure coursing through Eris's body was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Each stroke of Rheana's talented tongue sent waves of ecstasy crashing over him. He pulled her closer, his cock hitting the back of her throat with every thrust.

His breathing grew ragged, his moans turning into pleas for release. "Rhea… I'm close," he panted out, feeling the coil inside him tightening rapidly.

Rheana hummed around his cock, her hand moving to the curve of his ass, fingers trailing till they found his hole wet with slick, watching his reaction she plunged a single finger in.

The unexpected intrusion made Eris cry out loudly, his entire body tensing up. But the shock quickly turned into pleasure as Rheana's finger began to move inside him, stretching and preparing him for what was to come and he exploded down her throat. He bucked wildly against her mouth as Rheana drank his release, licking him clean, the dual sensations of her lips working his cock and her finger probing his ass nearly too much to bear in his aftershock, twitching slightly. "Fuck! Rheana… please…"

She pulled off his cock, giving the underside a few long licks, "Please what, my sweet omega?" She teased, her finger still moving in his ass.

Eris's mind was foggy with lust, his thoughts fragmented and incoherent. All he knew was that he needed more, needed Rheana to fill him completely. "Please… fuck me," he begged, his voice strained and desperate. "I need you inside me, now."

"Aww, look at you, you've leaned to beg so sweet," Rheana cooed, using her free hand to stroke his cock as she added another finger in his ass, stretching him

The addition of a second finger sent Eris spiralling even further into madness. He screamed out loud, his body shaking violently under Rheana's relentless assault. His cock throbbed in her hand, slowly growing hard again.

"Cauldron… yes!" he roared, feeling her fingers curl inside him, stroking that sweet spot that drove him insane. "I'm…!"

The second orgasm hit Eris like a sudden tidal wave, sweeping him off his feet and carrying him away on its crest. His cock pulsed violently in Rheana's hand, his seed spurting forth in thick ropes that landed on his own chest and stomach. His cries echoed throughout the room, raw and primal, as he rode out the waves of pleasure that racked his body.

As the spasms finally subsided, leaving him panting heavily, Eris managed to open his eyes. He looked down at himself, covered in his own cum, and then at Rheana who was still there between his spread legs. A lazy smile crept onto his lips, satisfaction painting his features.

"Feeling better, my darling?" Rheana cooed, asking softly, still stroking him in his after-shock, "Do you want more?"

Eris let out a content sigh, feeling utterly spent but also incredibly sated. His muscles relaxed, the tension seeping out of him slowly. "Yes," he admitted breathlessly, looking into Rheana's eyes. "I always want more when it comes to you."

Rheana stood up to her full height, pulling her fingers out of his ass, he didn't know when, but she had removed her clothes, his eyes wide as he sees her wearing her strap, deep purple in colour and fit her taste perfectly, "Well then, hope you're prepared." She smiled sweetly.

Eris watched, captivated, as Rheana stood up. His gaze drifted lower, taking in the sight of her naked body, curves highlighted in the dim lighting of their bedroom. His eyes widened further when he saw the strap hanging from her hips. He swallowed hard, anticipation coursing through his veins.

"I'm ready," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "For whatever you want to do to me."

She smiled, getting on top of him to position herself on him, Eris gasped as he felt the tip of the strap against his ass, she pushed in fully, stretching his ass completely he groaned sharply as Rheana impaled him on her strap-on, the thick shaft stretching his ass to its limits. He felt every inch of her penetrate him, filling him completely. The pressure was intense, almost painful, but it was a good kind of pain, one that only served to heighten his arousal.

His hands flew to her hips, gripping tightly as he tried to adjust to the sudden invasion. Rheana started to move, her hips rolling in a slow, deliberate rhythm that had Eris moaning in ecstasy. With each thrust, he felt himself being driven deeper into the mattress, his body submitting completely to hers.

The sound of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room as Rheana pumped her hips, driving the glass strap in and out of Eris's stretched asshole. The slickness of his own fluids provided the perfect lubrication, allowing her to move with ease.

Eris's moans grew louder, more desperate, as he surrendered to the pleasure. His hands gripped her hips harder, urging her on, pleading silently for more. The sensation of being filled so completely, of having his ass pounded by Rheana's strap, hitting the sweet spot inside him with every stroke, was intoxicating, driving him closer and closer to the brink of another orgasm.

Eris loved every moment of being pegged by Rheana, relishing in the way her hips ground against his ass, the way her strap filled him completely. He could feel every ridge and bump of the glass toy, each movement sending sparks of pleasure shooting through his body.

His moans were constant, his body writhing beneath hers as he gave himself over to the pleasure entirely. His cock throbbed with need, precum leaking steadily from the tip. He was so close, teetering on the edge of another powerful orgasm, pain and pleasure twisting in his belly.

Eris' eyes filled with tears as Rheana leaned forward to kiss his eyes, kissing all over his face, his eyes rolled back in pleasure as Rheana leaned forward to claim his lips in a hard kiss, his legs locked around her as she claimed him with every thrust, "Shhh... Baby, just feel me."

The kiss was hard and passionate, matching the intensity of their lovemaking. As Rheana continued to pound into him, her movements became more erratic, less controlled. Her grip on his hips tightened, her nails digging into his skin slightly.

Eris tried to meet her every thrust, his legs locking around her waist to pull her even closer. The sensation of her strap plunging into him, coupled with the taste of her lips on his, the taste of his cum on her lips and tongue, was enough to send him spiralling towards climax once again.

After several more minutes of relentless pounding, Eris's body finally succumbed to the overwhelming pleasure. He cried out loudly, his orgasm hitting him like a freight train. His cock twitched and spasmed, releasing yet another load of cum onto his stomach.

He went limp underneath Rheana, completely spent and satisfied. His body was covered in a layer of his own sticky fluid, making him look like a work of art. But despite his exhaustion, he couldn't help but reach out for her, wanting to hold onto her as he both came down from his high.

Rheana gently touched his cheeks bringing a small smile to Eris's lips, despite the exhaustion clouding his mind. As she slowly pulled out of him, he let out a low groan, feeling the stretch of his ass as she withdrew.

She took care not to hurt him, her movements slow and measured. She slid off to the side, waving her strap away the way she had done with her clothes, cleaning him fully with the same motion, laying beside him and pulling him into a tender embrace. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him close as they both caught their breath.

Eris clung to Rheana's muscular arms, his fingers digging into her flesh as he held onto her tightly. Soft tears left his eyes, trickling down over the bridge of his nose, his temples and onto the pillow beneath him. He wasn't sure why he was crying, maybe it was just relief from the intense session they'd just had.

Regardless of the reason, he buried his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply. The scent of her, mixed with the lingering smell of sweat and sex, was comforting.

"Eris, you never have to be embarrassed about your needs ever again." Rheana sighed, holding her omega close to her, still sensing his heat, stroking his back gently, "I know you were never allowed to feel your urges fully, but now you can..." She knew, his father had forced him on supplements after whipping him through his heats to try to force him to control his pheromones, but he had failed, because no omega could hold their urges during their heat forever, it wasn't natural to.

He snuggled closer to her, enjoying the warmth of her body and the steady beat of her heart. Despite everything, he felt safe and loved in her arms, something he hadn't experienced in a long time. "You didn't get to cum..." He whispered, his eyes heavy.

"We can worry about me late," Rheana kissed his temple, sending him off to sleep. "Rest well, my love,"

{General Taglist - @nox-ceur @lilah-asteria @paleidiot @dee-writes-smut @adalia-jaycee @anarchiii @alwayshave-faith}

{Eris Taglist - @fxckmiup @slut4acotar @secret-third-thing @shadowsingers-mate @fieldofdaisiies}

{Flames and Darkness Taglist - @anuttellaa @tuggboatfishin @inloveallthetime}

[yourlittlebunnyy]

a court of shadows and darkness

masterlist - previous chapter - next chapter

chapter three

summary: Selaene, Rhysand's sister, Azriel's mate runs away after the High Lord of Spring tries to kill her.

warnings: death

enjoy! <3

"Mother! Selaene! Father!" Rhysand's voice echoes through the mountains, but the Illyrian Steppes remain silent before his prayers. With his hands in his hair, his grip so tight it tears them apart, the male's knees give way, and at this point, he does not care who sees him. Sobs shake his entire body as he slumps to the ground, and he does not even feel the frozen snow soaking his clothes. He feels nothing but the pain of that loss. All he can do is think, after his family was killed, that it was all his fault. His sister had tried to call him, but he did not arrive in time, and now they are all dead. He opens his eyes just wide enough to look at the patch of his mother's blood mixed with Selaene's blood smearing the white snow. The sight is almost poetic. He will get his revenge, whoever was the bastard who killed two of the most important people in his life. And his father.

He hears footsteps behind him but he doesn't compose himself, not caring who might see the future High Lord of the Night Court in that state.

"Brother...," it's Cassian, he realizes. He lays a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"Get the fuck away." And as he has arrived, he leaves, silent. Around him, a gentle breeze caresses his face, the only uncovered part of him. It should be icy but tepid, as if it were a last goodbye, a last cuddle from his family before they leave forever. More sobs make his body shake. He takes off his gloves and slips his hands into the snow, the pain in his scalp fades and he immediately regrets it. But it's quickly replaced by the snow that is so cold it burns his palms. He deserves it, he thinks, he deserves it after failing to protect those he loves.

He stays there an indefinite time. His clothes are soaked and the sun is setting, now the air is so cold it freezes his bones, and Rhysand stands up shivering like a small child.

Before he leaves he makes a promise to himself. It doesn't matter how, only that no one he loves will ever die from his lack of attention again. He will never again fail in his task. With one last look at the blood-stained snow, an action he is not ready to do-but must, he leaves, leaving his mother, father, and sister for one last time. When he returns to the Wind House, he does not find Azriel. He enters and each step seems heavier than the last. He does not bother not to drag his wings, does not care about appearances. Even breathing becomes too strenuous. He finds Cassian sitting at the table, his cheeks streaked with tears. At the sight of his brother so grief-stricken Rhysand cannot hold them back himself. He sits at the table with him, the house so cold and empty without the laughter of the two females. He wonders if one day he will forget even the sound of their voices.

"Azriel?" he asks after what seems like infinity. The broken voice reaches Cassian's ears distantly. When he answers, his voice is a reflection of his brother's. "He... he's gone mad, Rhys."

A heavy silence fills the air with tension.

"I'm going to kill him, Cassian."

"I know, Rhys. I know. But Azriel may already be thinking about it."

Cassian looks at his brother in the eyes. His gaze dull, his eyes red and puffy. They make him look centuries older. The warrior believes that he himself is in the same condition as Rhysand. Selaene and her mother have also been his family, have been the only family.

"Do you know where he is?"

"No. He woke me up at dawn after he heard-he heard Selaene die from the bond. Goddamn, Rhysand." The brother's voice cracks so hard. They have never cried like this in the nearly seventy years they have known each other. Rhysand watches the Illyrian warrior, his brother, fall apart before him. Something in his gaze changes.

"Find Azriel. I'll take care of the bastard." At the change in his brother's tone, Cassian lifts his face in surprise. "Do you-do you know who-?"

"Who could it have been but Tamlin'." He points this out in a voice so distant that the warrior wonders how he can plan a murder under these conditions. "Brother, I don't think-"

"No, Cassian. Find Azriel and let me have my revenge."

The warrior can do nothing but nod. Before he goes, he takes one last look at his brother. The icy voice is not reflected in his expression, still heartbroken. When he is about to leave the room, he turns a small bow to him. Now, Rhysand is a High Lord.

"NO!", Azriel's screams wake Cassian. His brother did not scream, ever. Not even when he had nightmares, not even when he was being tortured did he ever scream.

He can do nothing but grab the dagger hidden under the mattress and run to his room. What he certainly did not expect was to see his brother kneeling, sobs wracking his entire body, hands clutching his chest at heart level. When he heard his brother enter the room and looked up, Azriel's eyes are of pure pain.

"Azriel... what's going on?" He approaches him and kneels before him, the dagger forgotten on the ground at the doorframe, two strong hands rest on his shoulders to give him support.

Azriel rises hastily, trembling knees not offering him too much stability causing him to stagger slightly. Cassian is worried-he has never seen his brother in such a condition.

"Selaene..." he manages to gasp and a pain expands in the warrior's chest. "Azriel. Speak, Selaene what? What has happened?"

"The bond. I don't... I can't hear it anymore, Cassian. It's empty." His brother's cracked voice shatters him.

"I-I thought you wanted to accept the bond."

"No, Cassian. I don't..." Azriel takes a short pause, a long breath, and Cassian has never been more agitated. If he is not suffering because he was rejected, what else could have happened that is so terrible? "I don't feel her anymore. She is..." But Azriel cannot finish the sentence. He can't. The sobbing that beats him is so violent that the warrior has to hold him up as the ShadowSinger cries on his shoulder. He himself cannot stop the tears. The situation is so surreal.

"Azriel." His voice is broken, like when he was a baby is crying in Rhysand's mother's arms. "I swear if this is a joke-"

" Fucking hell, Cassian. It's not a fucking joke." His brother's voice is so harsh that he feels guilty for even thinking it.

"I have to go." He suddenly breaks away from the comforting grip.

"Azriel, brother..."

But before he can even finish the sentence, Azriel disappears into his shadows.

463 years later

"I have never entered your room, Azriel. It is an honor." Feyre's voice and her little comment make Azriel smile slightly.

"I like to ... keep my own space." The Fae smiles at her words, and the Illyrian notices the female's gaze wandering around the room. Too much for his liking.

Her eyes land on a romantic book, one that Nesta has recommended to him and he is far too kind to tell her he will never read. The Fae picks it up and lifts it to show him, a feline smile breaks across her bright face. "Uh-huh. I didn't know the much-feared Spymaster read such impurities!"

An amused snort escapes his throat, but he doesn't respond further. He lets Feyre take a closer look at the room and comment on every single thing in it-not that he has many, fortunately. This is exactly why he does not like it when people enter his room.

As the young Fae continues to browse through his things, he heads to the real reason he brought Feyre to his room. The damned paperwork that his High lord desperately need for some reason.

"Fey. You're supposed to be looking for the reports, not the dirty books your sister lends me."

"Ah! But look at you going all defensive," she chuckles, and Azriel struggles to hide the smirk that lights up his face, "there's nothing wrong with wanting to read a little pepper every now and then." She laughs again after seeing the Shadowsinger roll his eyes.

"Oh...," Azriel pays no mind to whatever caught the Fae's attention, probably another piece of junk. "Az?"

"Yes?"

"Who-who is it?"

The Illyrian warrior's entire body stiffens at such words, somehow knowing full well what, who he is referring to.

"She is... it's gorgeous." The tone suggests to him that she is speaking more to herself than to him. But Selaene is still an open wound for him, and he is not ready to talk about it, and perhaps never will be.

After her death he simply ignored the pain, doing nothing about it. Rhysand became High Lord and he was made Spymaster, he begged his brother to send him on so many missions that he forgot about Selaene. Of course, he did not succeed. But at least he was busy and time made things better. But every time she is mentioned ... he still feels that unbearable emptiness in his chest, and it would hurt less if his heart was ripped out of his chest alive.

"Is that Rhys's sister?" Feyre's question brings him back to reality. He stares at her for a long time, and the Fae cannot help but notice the pain that flashes in his eyes, pain so fiery and burning. His eyes blur, as if inside his head he is replaying memories. When he does not respond, she speaks again.

"Rhys told me about her. But I didn't know you were related."

Azriel still does not answer, and Feyre realizes that he will probably never answer. She feels like a bad person for asking such intrusive questions, and feels the need to make up for it.

"I'm sorry, Az. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories."

Azriel wanted to yell at her, to get out, to not speak about her.

He wanted to scream that she was not a bad memory, but he could not. It had been decades since anyone had mentioned Selaene.

It had been decades since anyone had mentioned Selaene. Sure, above his bed there is a painting of her that he stares at every morning as soon as he wakes up and every night before he goes to sleep. Gods, there are days when he sits on his desk and stares at her for hours, unable to look away. But this is different. Someone talking about his dead mate in front of him is different. He is not ready to voice his thoughts, and perhaps never will be.

"Maybe ... maybe I should go. Don't... forget about the papers, I'm sure Rhysand doesn't need them that much."

Azriel watches her leave her room, and hates the look he receives. Compassion. The look he gets from his brothers whenever they see him alone at a ball, or the look he gets whenever a bond is mentioned.

He stares again at the painting of his beloved, and lets the memories he has of her calm his mind and the shadows obscure his vision, as if to put a wall between him and reality.

He wonders when was the last time he heard her voice, her laugh, her name on his lips. And when he tries to remember the sound of it, he can't. He has forgotten Selaene's laughter.

After almost a century of it not happening, Azriel lets tears flow freely down his face and sobs fill the room, careless of who might hear. The shadows themselves, who loved his female as much as he did, cry and call her name, as if at any moment, she might return. As if she simply went out on an errand.

He wonders how his brothers would look at him now, weeping for a lover lost almost five centuries ago. Who knows how much compassion he would find in their looks.

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