#danny: *deadpan-unimpressed-done with this bs*
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Danny calling John Constantine a “discount, hyped-up voldemort wannabe” and complaining that “at least voldemort didn’t make that much paperwork for the ministry”
A list of why the insult is legit, maybe written by a spite fueled Danny, the soul tax collector, helped by Clockwork who wrote the file he’s getting his info from probably:
British
Magic
Manipulate, Mansplain, Manwhore
Bad habits
Soul splitting (!!!)
Involved in some weird shit
His house could kill you
Tax evasion
Mother dies and father resents him for reasons (in some version, or an orphan at some early point, either way)
Magical, special lineage connected to cunning
Dark arts knowledge
Met a lot of Ghosts but most don’t like himÂ
Dies?
But not really
Many contacts and connections everywhere
Killed people
People die around him (Different things)
Problems with the Government (mood but also >:( )
Grave robbing (implied? it has to have happened, i can’t believe otherwise)
...
You know what, a lot of crime in general, what the heck?
Asshole (should’ve been higher on the list honestly)
Gets a blood transfusion from an enemy and becomes stronger
Protected from mind control (Lucky)
Probably called you-know-who by someone at least once
Smart (???)
Changed his name and joined a band (So to speak)
#dp x dc#behold: the idea i had that made me acquire some knowledge about john constantine#most of them are right#others are technically right#other others might just be for fun#(i say because I am not all knowing and did this on a whim and bc it was funny)#(my machinations lay undetected for years for I’m a Master of Deception)#<--that's john#thinking he's getting away with it#if you've seen the vid you know what danny is doing#danny: *deadpan-unimpressed-done with this bs*#danny unironically calling john you-know-who with contempt when talking about him#danny: you-know-who split his soul. AGAIN--!#the flying paper planes only it's blobs coming with memos that it happened once more#jazz: did you find john--#danny: he-who-must-not-be-named has not YET been found#more info at eleven#(not really)#*pinches his nose in frustration*
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