#dang man dev really knows how to drag me back

[semothekat]

Im sorry but. WHO IS THIS???

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 27+28.11.20 lbs

27.11.20

lmao i was gonna get suuuuuuper mad at kabir for being in her room but then he’s like:

“hi.”

....................... and i instantly snorted happily. vishal is realllllllllly just so likable that i just can’t with him anymore. i love when adorable marshmallows like him and shrenu play evil. you just cannot fucking hate them!

blah blah humaara kamra, mera kamra nonsense.

shaadi ka joda gift. with that tackyyyyyyyyyyyyassss KABIR KI RIDDHIMA written on it. main marr jaooon par kabhi bhi aisa kuch na pehnoon, no matter how much i love the guy.

“kuch hi derr mein tum VANSH ki riddhima se, KABIR ki riddhima ho jaogi.” coz even in 2020, women are nothing but chattel to be passed on from one man to another.

riddhima is thinking fat chance, bitch.

telling him she’ll never wear red for him, coz “laal pyaar ka rang hota hai, aur main sirf ek insaan se pyaar karti hoon, aur woh hai vansh.”

“toh yeh bhi vansh ke paise se hi liya hai.” lmaooooooooo

ghani beizzati by saying she’s already bought a joda for herself, a white one. which honestly looks muchhhhhhhhhh nicer than the red one acc. to me but ok.

vansh checking his account balance and seeing that there’s charges for two wholeass designer jodas bought for a shaadi that’s not even gonna happen:

anyway kabir’s like ok who cares, colour doesn’t matter, shaadi toh tumhari honi hai mujhse blah blah.

kabir doesn’t like mandap setup. coz all white. and apparently aryan was in charge of it? coz he’s getting dragged by the collar for it.

good. i don’t feel any sympathy.

ishani is like dekh liya nateeeja iss loserrrrrrrr ki khushaamad karne ka? when has vansh ever treated you like this no matter how mad he’s gotten at you? he always protected you.

behen kyun bhains ke aage been bajaa rahi ho? yeh manhoos baaz nahi aana.

ishani flounced away and aryan’s now vowing revenge against kabir. abbe yaar, tera list toh kabhi khata hi nahi hota.

why the fuck are these ppl soooooooooo dressed up for a wedding they don’t even want to participate in? itna toh main apni genuine shaadi ke liye naa sajjjjjjoon.

suddenly ishani is allllll about bado ka sammaaan and parampara, pratishthaaaaa, anushaasan and all. lmao ok?????

tod di choodi uski kalaayi par. jaisa bhai, waisiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hi behen.

shaadi mubarak indeed. lol.

riddhima’s calling vihaan and freakingout ki woh paise leke bhaag gaya. you are so fucking stupid sis, why would you give him that much fucking money BEFORE HE EVEN SHOWED THE FUCK UP??????????

“tum thodi weird nahi ho????” bhai obvious sawaal naa pooch.

anyway he’s like calm yo tits, untwist your panties, i’ll get there on time.

kabir instead of fixing his maatam waala mandap is back skulking around vihaan’s container box house. ladki ko shaadi karni bhi nahi hai and she’s sitting there ready from 3 hours before, aur yeh, jissko shaadi ki utaavli chadhi thi, is out doing randomassssss jasoosi, coz that’s the priority rn. sounds legit. 

VIHAAN THE DUMBASS TOOK OFF THE CCTV CAMERA AND PACKED IT. GOD YOU’RE ALLLLLLLLLLL FUCKING AQAL KE DUSHMAN IN THIS SHOW.

kabir sneaking in with gunnnnnnn.

how the fuck am i supposed to take him seriously with these bachchon waale sports shoes?!!?!?!? GIVE THE MAN HIS COMBAT BOOTS BACK SO HELP ME GODDDDDD

he’s peeking in the door and making some threatening statements about oh ho yeh hai tumhara plan, main sab khatammmmm kar doonga and all, but we never see wtf he’s looking at and this show is fulllllllllllll of red herrings, so........ idc.

riddhima putting on previous mangalsutra for this wedding and..... guts toh hai bandi main. badiii dheent hai.

mummy coming and saying blah blah usse utaar do this is your new mangalsutra and lmaoooooooooooooo

this is the tackiest fucking shit i’ve ever seen in my life. what’s with their obsession of putting their name on everything!?!!!?!!? what are you, an eight grader?!?!!?!?

anyway, bored with this ainvayi ki dhamki waala scene, fwding.

blah blah 2 ghante mein kaunsa chamatkaar hona hai and all......... WHY ARE YOU PPL SO DAMN OVERCONFIDENT????

meanwhile kabir is back and now harassing dadi. KISI KO TOH AKELA CHOD DE.  

actually, lmao, i’d love to see him go try this shit on ishani and angre. it would be fucking glooooooooooorious lololololol.

anyway, he wants dadi’s aashirwaad in the form of vansh’s saafa (pagdi/turban). ABBE YAAAAAAAAAAR. USKE UNDERWEAR DRAWER SE JAAKE USKI CHADDI BHI LEKE PEHEN. ITNAAAAAAAAA WANNABE VILLAIN MAINE AAJ TAK NAHI DEKHA. HADHHHHHHH HAI.

chikni chupdi baatein ki i’m just trying to be the son vansh was to this house. if i wear his saafa, it’s like uski aashirwaad aur duaein meri saath hongi.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PICTURE VANSH’S FACE IS LITERALLY LIKE

anyway dadi is like really really fucking hurt by this and my god i wanna fucking murder kabir.

she’s literally telling him to pick anything else, it’s vansh’s nishaani and he’s like aap sab ke paas koi na koi nishaani hai, mere paas apne bhai ki koiiiiiiiii nishaani nahi hai blah blah and oh my god, this is truly the most villainous thing kabir has done, being thisssssss fucking emotionally manipulative. the absolute fuckkkkkkkk.

ugh anyway long story short. baandh diya dadi ne ukso saafa. bloody nonsense.

poor dadi phoot phoot ki ro rahi hai ki she’s losing vansh bit by bit. awwwww man it’s genuinely heartbreaking.

riddhima has witnessed this and is about to fuckkkkkk shit up lolll. 

lmaoooooooooooo dayum.

wtf is your problem, i’m marrying you, why are you torturing the fam like this blah blah. kabir like physical, emotional, moral sabbbbbbbbbbb tarah se tod ke rakh doonga inn sabko and ugh god i just really fucking hate him.

but damn he just looks really good in this sherwani and hair all mussed up.

anyway he’s doing some real messed-up, genocidal dictator kinda talk and phew. is just askinggggggggg to be murdered.

and then lmao he abruptly switched to “bohut khoobsurat lag rahi ho tum; time kya ho raha hai???? ooooooh ek ghanta baaki hai.” and i legittttttt lol’d at the way he delivered it. I HATE VISHAL FOR NOT LETTING ME HATE KABIR IN PEACEEEEEEEEE.

riddhima panic-calling vihaan, wants to go check on him. mummy ne pakad liya, room mein badh kar diya coz K told her to handle riddhima’s bhagodi dulhan ways.

great. riddhima’s having a breakdown.

motivational call from the choti sarrdaarni. she kinda just looks like a tall baby shivangi joshi had with aditi dev sharma????

le, doosre show waale heroine ko bhi pata hai kabir kameena hai, iss show mein 3 episode pehle pata chala issko.

ok is the choti sarrdaarni delusional and having a make-believe phone call with the protagonist of her favt tv show IMMJ, coz she knows waaaaay more details than even the people in this house know about the plot and what went down. she’s talking about how vansh aakhri pal tak ladta raha and riddhima’s like huh, news to me, i just got there in time to see him spout some ghatiya shayari and then throw himself off a cliff.

anyway riddhima seems to have gotten strength from this deranged phone call, so............. good for her, i guess.

———————————————————————

28.11.20

next ep just abruptly started with kabir and mummy in riddhima’s room threatening her and i just.......... dude, whatever. i’m just gonna skim through this ep coz i know it’s just filler shit till literally the last 1 minute. 

OK HE’S MANHANDLING HER AGAIN AND FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

dang helly looked evennnnnnnn younger in the first eps. legit baby face. at least now they’ve aged her up a lil with the makeup and styling.

he’s saying don’t bother waiting, no one is gonna come. OH BOY. VIHAAN ARE YOU OK????? ARE YOU OK??????? ARE YOU OK VIHAAN?!?!?!?!?

cue riddhima’s panic attack.

lmao kabir telling mummy ki iss shaadi mein ab koi speedbreaker nahi hai lol. heavy foreshadowing that ab se everything that can go wrong is definitely gonna go wrong.

suddenly at the speed of light kabir is back at the container home in his sherwani and saafa and holding vihaan at gunpoint????

oh. sapna tha riddhima ka. ouff. this stupid show has tooooo fucking many dream sequences.

someone give this bitch a klonopin coz watching her is making my anxiety shoot up.

mummy comes into room 2 min later and sees riddhima sleeping ghoongattttt and all. SURE. NOT SUS AT ALL THAT A BRIDE DYING OF ANXIETY WOULD TAKE A NAP 30 MIN BEFORE THE CEREMONY IN FULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OUTFIT. TOTALLY A THING THAT HAPPENS.

DUDE SHE PULLED A NURSE WAALI HARKAT AGAIN. LMAOOOOOOOOO. KISKO SULAAAAAKE AAYI HAI TU, AAFAT?!?!?!!?

askdjasldkjlsakdjlaskjdlaskjdlaskjdlkas. ALSO THE FACT THAT MUMMY RECOGNIZED HER FROM HER PRESS ON NAILS. LMAOOOOOOOOOO I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS SHOW.

LMAO RIDDHIMA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

lol mummy has to call and give bad news to kabir. and i am sad we didn’t get to see his volcanic reaction, which no doubt would have been epicccccccccccc.

10 MINUTES TO THE CEREMONY. VR MANSION IS 20 MIN AWAY FROM THE CONTAINER HOUSE (AS STATED BY V BEFORE) AND THIS SIS IS...........

RE DEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

she finally got in and the whole place is empty. he practically lives in a storage unit, you telling me he went and moved his stuff to a whole different storage unit?????

new freakout within the pre-existing panic attack: kabir ne vihaan ko saaf kar diya ya vihaan paise leke bhaag gaya??

cut to fb: riddhima asking V all earnestly ki tum dhoka toh nahi doge na????

HIS ASS ACTUALLY SAID, LEMME TELL YOU A FACT ABOUT ME: I LOVE MY MOM. I SWEAR ON HER I WON’T BETRAY YOU. 

AND SHE STILL DIDN’T GET THAT HE’S VANSH. MY GODDDDDDDD.

she’s like nope vihaan gave mummy promise so he won’t give dhoka. ah yes, the most sacred and inviolable of promises.

toh bacha alternative ki kabir has vihaan. 4th simultaneous panic attack in a panic attack. someone sedate this bitch.

aaaaaaaaaand kabir has sent a video of a bomb in VR mansion below the mandap. great.

and now he’s calling to say ki get your ass back home or imma scramble these eggheads called the raisinghanias.

lmao the bomb is counting forwards instead of backwards????

mummy saying MY BETA SMAAAAAARTEST. haan, tha..... kisi zamaane mein. ab nihaayati bewakoof ho gaya hai.

lmao kabir accosted a passing by angre and is like you need to be loyal to me as you were to vansh and lol angre’s like saaf saaf shabdon mein, fuckkkkkkk off.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KABIR WENT TO HURL THE NAARIYAL AT ANGRE’S RETREATING HEAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MAN HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO HATE HIM HE’S SO FUCKING HILARIOUS

lmao he goes to phodofy naariyal and:

abhi bappa ko huullllllllll de raha hai. overconfidence ki hadh toh dekho.

riddhima is back and hunting for the bomb and kabir comes bouncing the fake bomb around and she’s legit like TUMNE MUJHSE JHOOOOOT BOLA?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? lol bitch, seriously???? because he’s been the paragon of truth and virtue up until this moment??????

“apna hulia sudhaar ke aao. 5 min mein mrs. kabir banne waali ho. thoda standard toh match karo.” lmaooooo the sasss and disdaaaaaain he said that withhhhhh. boy knows he’s looking damn good today.

anyway blah blah shaadi has started. dadi is sad af. to the point where ishani is looking really concerned. i really love this soft ishani.

“kaash samay ka paiyya ulta ghoom jaaye aur mera vansh wapis aa jaaye mere paas.”

dadi, shoulda asked for world peace instead. just the one wish you had and you wasted it on getting your hellion pota back. 

some more in-room threatening of riddhima by mummy. while riddhima is throwing out last minute prayers to bappa and vihaan ki bas just do something and stop this whole shitshow.

vihaan ka toh pata nahi, the shady fuck, but bappa like:

i gotchu girl.

bhaari bhaari flashback waali walk down the stairs.

HE EVEN SAID THE MAA LINE AS VIHAAN IN THE VANSH VOICE. SHE GOTTA BE SOOOOO FUCKING STUPID MY GODDDDDDD.

ouffffff so much time wasteeeeeeeeeee.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....................

watch that he was wearing while falling off the cliff? ✅✅✅

wedding ring that was not found on the dead body????? ✅✅✅

“YEH SHAADI NAHI HO SAKTI” booooooooming across the whole damn neighbourhood in the fakest deep voice everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr???? ✅✅✅

———————————————————————

precap:

haan yeh sab toh theek hai.............. 😕😕😕

par asli sexxxxxxxxx waali chemistry idhar hai!!!!!!!! UNFFFFFF. 🤩🤩🤩

[junker-town]

I rode around Houston with Paul Wall during Super Bowl week

It turns out that Paul Wall’s life is exactly what you want Paul Wall’s life to be.

HOUSTON — Paul Wall is going to be late again. He calls to tell me this as I’m waiting for him outside a Starbucks off of I-10, one of Houston’s looping, overpass-laden highways. It’s about two hours after we were initially supposed to meet on Wednesday before the Super Bowl, because this morning Paul Wall’s friend unexpectedly got out of jail and he had to go pick him up.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” Paul Wall says on the phone. “Houston traffic is so bad. I’m about 15 minutes away.”

About thirty minutes and a few apologetic texts later, Paul Wall walks up to me. I didn’t see him pull into the parking lot, but here is, wearing black jeans, a baggy T-shirt, and the most spectacular set of grillz I’ve ever seen — gold rimmed, diamond-encrusted mouth guards strapped to both his top and bottom teeth. His flat-brim hat says “HOU,” and his facial hair is limited exclusively to his chin.

He shakes my hand, apologizes again, and leads me to his black Cadillac that he’s parked in front of the dry cleaners next to the Starbucks. We get inside.

I’m hanging out with Paul Wall because hanging out with Paul Wall seems like the right thing to do when Houston hosts the Super Bowl. The rapper and Houston native is deeply rooted in the city’s music scene, custom car and jewelry worlds, and sports community. I should also tell you that I’m referring to Paul Wall in this article exclusively by his full name, because “Wall” doesn’t feel right and neither does “Paul.” But “Paul Wall” is poetry.

There are two cans of Red Bull (they’re orange and they look special, maybe, like, a limited-edition situation) in the cup holders of the car, which smells very new and is very clean. Paul Wall sends a few texts and then pulls out and into traffic, thanking me for being patient while he picked up his newly-freed friend, who he says did two and a half years for felony and possession of a handgun (“yeah, sucks”).

We stop at a red light and I ask where we’re going. Paul Wall says we can go anywhere — he lives around here, near Houston Heights, and he has about an hour before he has to go get rims put on the Cadillac we’re riding around in. He just got it yesterday, adding it to the collection of six other Cadillacs he already owns.

“Oh, really? Rims?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’m putting swingers on the car,” Paul Wall says.

“Are you doing that today?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says.

“Can I come with?” I ask.

“Nah, not really,” Paul Wall shakes his head apologetically. “‘cause I gotta go pick up somebody else and there’s not gonna be room. The rims gotta fit in the backseat.”

I ask what kind of rims he’s getting, even though I don’t know the difference between rims, nor do I know the names of any rims, so the answer won’t mean much. But it feels important.

“The elbows!” Paul Wall says, getting animated. “They’re called Texan wide wheels, you know, tippin on fo’ fo’s.”

Paul Wall laughs. He talks lyrically, almost with a deliberate rhythm, interspersing “mans” and “you knows” throughout his speech as though they were ad libs in a rap song. Speaking of rap songs, he starts to play some of his own using the fancy buttons on his steering wheel. All of the tracks are screwed and chopped. It sounds like molasses mixed with sidewalk grit. In a good way.

Driving through Houston’s gridded streets, passing strip mall after strip mall, with Paul Wall is surreal. In fact, it’s almost too good to be true. Because Paul Wall’s life is exactly what you want Paul Wall’s life to be: One in which a totally normal day entails literally living out the song “Throw some D’s.”

And Houston is the perfect beat for his daily bars. The city mirrors Paul Wall, and Paul Wall mirrors the city — his drawl matches its sprawl, his car moves through the streets the way the slightly sticky heat comes through on breezes.

But for all the rap song things he does, Paul Wall is a family man now. He’s dedicated to his wife Crystal (who owns a fitness gym for women and is doing some sort of fitness performance downtown as we speak, although Paul Wall doesn’t totally know what that entails) and their two kids. He’ll go to the studio to record at night, and often spends his days with his family, tricking out cars, or at the jewelry shop he owns with his business partner Johnny Dang.

Paul Wall and Johnny Dang supply grillz to many of Houston’s athletes, including Arian Foster, Duane Brown and his wife Devon (or “Devvy Dev,” as Paul Wall calls her), and Andre Johnson. I ask if they’ve made J.J. Watt a grill, and Paul Wall says that they haven’t, but that Watt definitely needs one. They’ve also made Venus and Serena Williams grillz, and Shaq has a Paul Wall special, too. I ask if there’s anyone Paul Wall hasn’t made a grill for that he thinks needs one.

“I’m a huge baseball fan,” he says. “Roger Clemens. That’s my boy. We gotta get Roger a grill. Put the word out, man.”

As we’re stopped at another Houston stop light, which I’m convinced the city has more of per capita than any place else in America, a pickup truck pulls up beside us with a Weber grill in the truck bed.

Paul Wall is thrilled that the Super Bowl is in Houston this year because it brings attention to his city. But he’s not going.

“I’m trying to get some tickets, though,” he says, making a hard right turn off of a main drag onto a frontage road that tracks the highway beneath an overpass. “I’m trying to get ‘em to sell ‘em. Those tickets cost too much, man, if I get tickets I’m for sure selling those bad boys.”

“With Houston, the H stands for ‘hustle.’ There’s a billboard that says, ‘Houston, hustle, heart, and home.’ That encompasses Houston.”

“What if you performed for tickets?” I ask. “You should’ve told them you’d perform.”

“We tried, you know, they’re not trying to have us, though.” Paul Wall says. “They wanna do the Lady Gaga thing, that’s what they’re trying to have. It is what it is, you know. I understand it, but, I mean, I personally don’t know any football fans who are interested at all in Lady Gaga. They’re trying to expand the reach of who the fans are, man. But Beyoncé did the Super Bowl halftime a few times, so, here in Houston, I would expect or hope they’d have gotten Beyoncé!”

I nod vigorously as Paul Wall continues to suggest alternative halftime show performers for Super Bowl LI.

“You don’t know who’s going to be in the Super Bowl, but Atlanta, they got so many good artists,” he says. “Maybe Usher or somebody, I don’t know. There’s 50 artists it could’ve been from Atlanta. Man, the Migos, definitely the Migos, man. Then there’s people like 2 Chainz, T.I., Ludacris. He’s doing more acting, same with T.I. T.I. balances his music and acting out. He still comes with the music. Nonstop.”

I ask what Paul Wall thinks the difference between Houston and Atlanta rap is, and he tells me they used to be two very distinct sounds. But these days, the styles have blended.

“It’s dope to see that there’s a bridge,” he says. “And I appreciate that there’s an open door and an avenue for us to work with each other and support each other and all that.”

Paul Wall is very close with other Houston rappers — guys like Slim Thug, Bun B., Zero. I ask him how Chamillionaire is these days. His face lights up.

“Now that boy, there,” he says, “he invested in an app, and the app sold for 700 million dollars.”

“What was the app?” I ask. “Are you kidding me?”

“Nah, he won’t tell me!” Paul Wall pulls off the frontage road and out of traffic, onto a straightaway that cuts through a neighborhood. There are finally no stoplights and no other cars on the road. He picks up speed. We’re cooking. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so alive.

“No, I mean, I just can’t remember what the app was, man, it’s something, man.” Paul Wall says. “That boy, maaaaan! So I’m like, man, let your boy hold something. Let your boy hold something!”

I’m not sure Paul Wall knows what an app is, because a quick Google search shows that Chamillionaire joining Mark Suster's Upfront Ventures as entrepreneur-in-residence is likely what he’s referencing.

Another track starts playing and Paul Wall turns it up. The Cadillac has a great sound system, and he raises his voice a bit over the beat to tell me that this song features his wife, son, and nine-year-old daughter signing on the hook, and his daughter free-styling one of the verses. He can’t believe it; she hadn’t even been practicing. He beams with pride.

The song is an anti-bullying song. Paul Wall says that his healthy and intact family is a real role model for other people in the community, especially in Houston’s hip hop world. He says the song is about never giving up, staying motivated, and trying to inspire other people.

Paul Wall is a guy who cares. He cares about the people he loves and he cares deeply about his city, which he says is more diverse and more open than a lot of other places in the U.S.

“With Houston, the H stands for ‘hustle,’” he says. “There’s a billboard that says, ‘Houston, hustle, heart, and home.’ That encompasses Houston. You know, the love we have, that we show, but also the hustle we have, I think that comes from us being so far away from the rest of the media, kind of separate from everywhere else in the country.

“Dallas is more in line with mainstream America,” he continues, “But Houston’s farther down on the map where it’s a little different. I think it’s the slowness of our culture, how we move slow. It’s hot in here, you know. We got our own culture, our own slang, a little bit our own way of doing things.”

Paul Wall swerves to avoid getting into an accident and pulls back onto I-10. He starts to talk about how great the Super Bowl has been for the city’s visibility. But he’s wary of the attention, too.

“Social media has brought the whole world together, and that’s good in some ways and bad in others, because a lot of the individuality that we all had, everybody shares it now,” he says. “We’re all just one Instagram post away. And it is what it is, but a lot of the slang, what we do, what we talk about in our music — people didn’t understand because they couldn’t see what we were talking about. But now they can see what we’re talking about. So it’s good and bad because now everyone else is talking about the same things we’re talking about.”

“Do you mean that it dilutes the culture a little?” I ask. We’re pulling into a gas station off the side of the highway. Paul Wall pulls up to one of the pumps.

“Yeah, it waters it down like a motherfucker,” Paul Wall says. “But you’ve gotta take the good with the bad — we want everyone to embrace our culture and not look down, but at the same time, we don’t want them to take our culture and make it their culture. So where’s the happy medium in all of that?”

Paul Wall shakes his head. I ask if we’re getting gas, even though we’re obviously getting gas.

“Yeah, I was gonna get gas,” he says. “This also might be a good place to drop you off, it’s not too far from downtown where you’re going.”

I agree, thank Paul Wall for his time, and shake his hand. He gives me a copy of his mixtape and asks if I need anything from the convenience store. I tell him I’m good, and he smiles — flashing his beautiful grillz one more time — before he makes his way across the hot pavement and disappears into the store. His car sits by the pump, its black paint reflecting the waning evening light. The wheels are rimless for now, but in a few hours, Paul Wall will make them shine.