#dan's journal

[bucksthrobbingbussy]

I started watching The Rookie since New Years, and yeah I get why this site is so invested on this show now. It's way better than I expected

Also Lucy Chen is probably one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen on television, your hand in marriage please

[crispyliza]

I just realized that early fanfiction sites provided me my first sex education.

[betaphannie]

All im saying is i can't be trusted to concoct a dan and phil interview. If it was me I'd act like I didn't know them at all and I'd ask them shit like "So have you thought about expanding the dan and phil brand to add other live-in coworkers to the channel? :)" I'd "accidentally" print their names as Dan and Phil Lester. I'd put the 2009 tackle hug as one of the pictures in the article. If I snap a pic of them for the interview I'd put text over their left hands. I'd name the article Dan and Phil are More Than Friends with the subheading "they're partners in a brand 15 years in the making with sold-out shows around the globe"

[loveinstreams]

"i believe they've become a couple? im not sure if they are married but hum. they may have got married or they may just be going steady" is genuinely hilarious and iconic

[cabinetteofcuriosities]

Currently obsessed with Dan Brown’s 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬 as much as with my project of a lifetime 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬—my goal is to finish that one in about 30 years. Ha.

[frumdyke]

ive been annotating tabinof

[smahccked]

started a visual journal for the year where i can add things that i get obsessed with each month

some highlights so far

[aftgphoenix]

I’m thinking of a Neil with a kid fic but the kid is one that Neil found abandoned somewhere as an infant and decided to raise them. Maybe after he buried his mom on his way to Arizona?

[dnpblogcuzican]

An Open Letter to Dan and Phil From One of Your Many Lesbians

With the digital release of TIT and a rebrand on the horizon I felt the pull to get a bit sappy about this era of dan and phil. I've been watching them for 11ish years and this past year has been the most meaningful to me as I've been traversing the good and the bad of being out to my family. This is also kinda an open letter to dan and phil, they talk about their pride in their impact on us in the past, but this era is remarkably different from the past and it comes with its own new and growing impacts. To me at least, more meaningful impacts because they have finally been able to be their true authentic selves and share it with us on purpose, happily.

Its long but I think its worth it. So if you want a little lesbian trauma (nothing graphic) and how dan and phil have impacted me as a happy older gay couple to look at as models for the future, feel free to keep reading :)

Alright here we go.

The narrative in my house was queerness is not accepted, it is tolerated. It wasn't brought up much, but this was said to me directly. My parents had known gay people, had a distant gay friend here or there. I know in my parents' minds these people's queerness was separated from their character. Hes gay, but hes such a nice guy, so I guess its okay, not my life after all.

For most of my adolescence I identified as bisexual, attempting to come out to my parents around 13 only to have them walk me back to the closet, labeling me confused (classic).

Around 21 I had started identifying as a lesbian. Slowly realizing how suppressed I was. Realizing all the sex I had with my ex-boyfriend didn't feel right because, while it was consensual, I didn't know that I didn't actually want to have it. It was an exchange to me, I get an orgasm, you get an orgasm, done. I didn't know what it felt like to want to have sex, to actually be attracted to someone. I had locked it away unconsciously. It didn't help that everyone says straight sex for women isn't great, I thought because I was getting off it must be fine. Everything was fine on paper, what could be wrong? Recently I realized I was never in love in that 3 year relationship. My only relationship. I realized, uh oh, I've never been in love at all.

When I pictured the future I always pictured myself alone, I thought it was because I was a Strong Independent Woman. I didn't need romantic love, I felt fine without a man by my side. All I needed was my friends, myself, a cat, and a garden. It felt like a gut punch to realize oh my god I do want a partner, I want a wife. Even though mentally I knew it was 'okay to be gay' and I acknowledged part of my attraction to women, internalized homophobia and heteronormativity made it so I never truly considered that life for myself. So when the realization hit that life with a woman was in fact the only fulfilling life for me, it was scary and it was freeing.

So what about dan and phil?

Dan and Phil are the only gay couple that I have ever felt any real connection to. When they came back from the dead I was obsessed in a way I was not before. I'd been watching most of phil's videos through the hiatus and they were two of my favorite youtubers among the many I watched back in the day. But I didn't run a side blog dedicated to them, I didn't check the tag almost everyday like I do now.

Back in the day they were funny guys who I thought were probably dating on the DL. But now, now they are queer adults who model what a wonderful, happy life as a gay couple looks like. I have never had that. I still don't besides them. Not in real life, not online, not in celebrities, not in media.

One of the reasons I never pictured my life with a woman was because I had never known what it could look like, not really. I had no one to hold my hand and say "oh my god its amazing, let me show you". When I pictured getting married I thought about how the man I married would always love me more than I loved him. I unwittingly dug a grave for my ability to fall head over heels in love, like it just wasn't in the cards for me. Mind you I have been surrounded by queer friends since high school, but we were all figuring it out together, there was no one to show us the way. I know this was the case for most of us in the phandom, most queer people really. We need our queer elders where we can get them (rip to the twink status they're white knuckling, sorry guys)

Dan and Phil make videos celebrating their queerness and ours. They don't just say its okay to be gay, they shout at us that its fucking wonderful to be queer. And they do it casually, just by playing their games and chatting shit. They also do it in big ways, like with BIG and TIT, but casual has meant more to me. The everyday example is what I need right now, seeing something and realizing oh I could have that in my everyday life too. I want that for my life.

When dan off offhandedly said something to the aid of "life's better when you're out" in the Split Fiction video it stopped me in my tracks. Because of recent homophobia from my parents, I had the thought 'being out is worse'. I know its not true, but there was a shitty few weeks where it really felt that way.

Dan and Phil were the only thing that truly made me feel better because when I didn't have it in me to combat the homophobia, to picture how wonderful a queer life is in spite of all this bullshit, they were on my screen embodying queer joy. queer normalcy. Making me think its not fair and it sucks but its worth it because I am going to have that happiness one day.

They talk about the power of light entertainment in TIT. But the light entertainment of this current dan and phil era is more than just entertaining for so many of us. Its a road map. The bants, the domesticity, the flirting, the loving looks, the security, the love story. They have just barely given us the privilege to see it and already it says 'look at this, its not out of reach. Its real, and lovely, and boring, and fun. Its a life that you can have.'

It is completely different than before and I didn't realize how badly I needed it, especially as an out adult. I know they're working on bigger stuff, but I sincerely hope they do not underestimate how much the world just needs them as an example of happy queer couple having fun with their life. That's why its important for them to be out in the way they are. Its not about a hard launch, its not about speculation. Its about hope. Its about queer community. They know that.

So, dan and phil, if you happen to see this- thank you for letting us in. Thank you for making TIT and clearing the air. Thank you for creating something new with us this past year and a half. Thank you for proudly taking on the role of our gay dads. I hope you guys enjoy seeing your newest impact. I am excited to watch you grown and learn as we all do the same.

[bucksthrobbingbussy]

My italian coworker overheard that I put diced salamis and chicken in the carbonara I brought for lunch and he got so outraged he called me two different slurs 😔

[tetrapaec]

Evil Dan and Phil be like:

[storytellerdannie]

It’s crazy but I think the more we learn about their sex preferences through jokes and innuendos and crazy fucking references they make the more we ask “okay but have you ever hugged? Have you ever held each other’s hands while walking? Oh god have you ever cuddled watching a movie???”

[artverso]

Dan Panosian - Green Latern War Journal

[ultrameganicolaokay]

Green Lantern: War Journal #10 by Phillip Kennedy Johnson and Montos. Variant cover (1) by Dan Panosian. Main cover (2) by Montos. Out in June.

"The contentious team of Caolán Shepherd and Guy Gardner are about to test their strength against the entire United Planets blockade on a SUICIDE MISSION to rescue John Stewart from the oldest enemy of the Guardians… but John has been pulled into a nightmare dimension from which no living thing has ever returned! Can John Stewart’s legendary willpower measure up against the GODS OF THE FIRST WORLD?"

[mothgirlmareed]

Dan and Phil Appreciation week

Day 1: Favourite baking video

Does it feel basic to just pick the newest one? A little. But the chaotic energy of this one is truly unmatched and I think about it about once a week. The lighting makes it hard to read what I wrote on the red paper, but I put some quotes:

"I'm hot. I don't know how to count." "Baby, I am heaven" and "Oh, we're on the gaming channel. I can swear my head off, can't I? Let's make some fucking dough!"

On a completely different note: Seeing the announcement for this appreciation week really brought my motivation to journal back. This is the first collage spread I've done in six months and I'm so happy to be back at it. I could go on a whole rant about this, but I don't think anyone wants to read that.