#dan humphrey defense squad

[queenladonna]

I have probably said this before, but I will say it again:

The Gossip Girl fandom owes Jenny Humphrey, Vanessa Abrams, and Dan Humphrey a huge fucking apology.

"Dan was Gossip Girl!!" Oh, please, Ch*ck and Bl*ir have both done worse, but this fandom has been licking their asses since 2007! Because they're spoiled rich kids. 🙄

[trashfordair]

sigh i should delete twitter and stay on tumblr where i somehow see much less dan humphrey slander :( people on twt telling me even without being gg dan is worse than ch*ck and s*rena like sorry?? one sexually assaulted multiple women and abused his girlfriend physically and emotionally? (not to mention the dubious consent of his second sexual interaction with jenny, the first being when he assaulted and attempted to rape her) and the other manipulated someone into sleeping with her and then filmed revenge porn? like yeah dan being a judgemental occasionally hypocritical dick is worse than that okay sure jan

it's bullshit. the way my blood pressure goes up every time i see shit like this

[thevillainsfangirl]

Gossip Girl characters who deserve hate but get praise from the fandom: Chuck, Blair, Monet, Luna.

Gossip Girl characters who DON'T deserve hate but get it from the fandom: Jenny, Obie, Vanessa, Dan. (Dan is debatable since he was GG after all. But he definitely wasn't any worse than those characters listed at the top!)

[jamesv-t]

Managing the Upper East Side

Earlier, after watching a Gossip Girl episode at the gym in which Jenny Humphrey shows potential for usurping Blair from her throne, I got thinking how I’d cope with the two of them in the same team if footballers on the popular game/addiction Football Manager had their personalities. Then I took that idea and ran with it. 

I realise this is very niche.

Blair Waldorf - Blair is the Queen Bee. She’s the star striker. The whole team is built around her, and she puts in performances to match it. The fans adore her, the club adores her, she’s the highest paid player (with a clause in her contract ensuring nobody earns more than her) and she knows it. Understandably threatened when the new young star shows promise in the youth team, she wants to keep her place.

Jenny Humphrey - Little J. She’s from a similar mould as Blair. Both work well with Serena, but as J is a few years younger, she could easily be farmed out on loan spells to lower league clubs and affiliates to get experience, before being rotated and getting first team action in the cup games or when Blair needs resting ahead of crucial games. Let’s face it, nobody can stay injury free forever, either.

Serena van der Woodsen - returning after a long injury layoff, she complements both Blair and Jenny when S plays up front with either of them. Her relationship with Blair is fractious off the pitch, and fantastic on it - think Cole and Sheringham at Manchester United. More content to assist than score, she modestly accepts plaudits and player of the season awards (much to Blair’s chagrin).

Nate Archibald - simple, basic defensive midfielder. Fan of the three yard sideways pass. The team misses him when he’s not playing, but nobody notices him when he’s in the side. One of the lowest paid in the squad, just happy to be there. Can sign his best mate from his youth side on £2k a week and Nate’ll be as happy as a clam. Can also jangle shiny keys in front of him and he’ll be as happy as a clam.

Chuck Bass - the driving force of the midfield. A Roy Keane esque player - ambitious and wants the club to succeed at all costs, prone to occasionally cause grievous bodily harm to opponents, team-mates, officials, fans - anyone who gets in his way. Well worth the occasional ten match ban.

Dan Humphrey - Left back with delusions of breaking new ground and having a fancy Italian term invented for his role. Thinks he’s better than he is, needs an occasional knocking down a peg to remind him he’s playing for the team. Main provider of Serena’s goals. 

Georgina Sparks - the creative “spark” in the team. (Yeah, I couldn’t resist that. I’m sorry.) A tricksy but inconsistent attacking midfielder - sometimes will bamboozle the opposing full back and leave them with twisted blood, other times will end up running into blind alleys or firing every cross into the crowd. Best as a super-sub rather than having a run in the team. Always cedes free-kicks to Dan despite being the deadball specialist at the club.

Kati and Isabel - Blair’s minions, identical in style playing on either wing, supplying the majority of Blair’s goals.

Vanessa Abrams - nobody likes her. The team, the fans, the manager - even the Chairman’s 35 year old son (who always gets a game at the end of the seaon) gets a better reception than her. The one time she got a cheer from the crowd was coming on and getting sent off for a foul committed by her team-mate.