#damn you and your angst civil war stony

[starchasersversion]

steve "you know i left a part of me back in new york" rogers and tony "you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?" stark

[finitepeace]

this week in my fic reading life: still crying over stony.

this week i’m trying some of the reincarnation trope, peggy carter is tony stark’s mom trope, and age regression trope. 

Past Lives by lookin1080p_feelinVHS

Summary: Tony and Steve get in a fight. Tony thinks Steve would be better off without him but learns that this is not the first time they were together.

1k words, tony having a few flashbacks of stony in their past lives

You take me to Nirvana by Jackttwist  💙

Summary:  "Talk to me" He answered

"You probably want to get to DC qui ck,Stark."

2k words, post CA:TWS hospital conversation between stony 

age after age; forever by theappleppielifestyle

Summary: Steve and Tony are born for the first time as a Prince and his Knight.

The last time they are born, they're Iron Man and Captain America.

2k words, bit flashbacks on stony’s past lives before avengers 

Lost and Found by winterwind  💙

Summary: I will find you. I will always find you.

2k words, stony’s lives from 1400ish to 2012 

Home Can Be a Person, Too by Impala_Chick  💙

Summary: Sam helps Steve take out Hydra in D.C., travels the world in search of the Winter Soldier, and eventually becomes an Avenger. But somewhere along the way, he realizes that Steve isn't telling him everything.

And when Steve's judgment becomes impaired because of his personal feelings towards Tony? Sam feels an obligation to take action.

8k words, sam POV, civil war fix-it a.k.a. tony finds out the secret before siberia 

in these moments by orphan_account

Summary: Tony visits Steve after The Winter Soldier incident.

1k words, post CACW

not this omegaverse by  Annehiggins 

series of 2, 21k words, abo verse, forced marriage pre-Avengers 2012, 

His Mother's Eyes by Annehiggins 💙

Summary: Peggy Carter is Tony's mother. It changes a lot, but some things are still destined. 

24k words,  it starts with tony sabotaging the 1940s hospital room stage to ease Steve’s awakening, kinda Avengers AU, tony is loved T_T, bucky found early and married peggy. 

Cap Luvs his Teddy Tony by Annehiggins

Summary: Steve gets hit by a mental regression ray and wants what he wants – cuddling Tony.

4k words, cute 

Pink Is the Color of ...? by Annehiggins 💙

Summary: The new element Tony created for his arc reactor core responds to his moods. Once the other Avengers move into the Tower they quickly figure out what all the colors mean. Except one – pink.

3k words, it’s all in the summary. 

Top That! by Bearixt

Summary: There was a swish—a familiar sound of a circular magic teleportation thing being made, a sound that Steve had associated as a harbinger of traumatic events.

This time, in the middle of their movie night, it was Stephen dropping off a teenager who looked like— no, who was probably Tony.

2k words, tony turned into his teenager self, just for a moment. 

tom ford be damned by brucewaynery

Summary: Steve Rogers gets turned into a toddler.

this is how Tony Stark handles it.

700 words. 

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by allumir

Summary: Tony gets de-aged by a villian and it's up to Steve to take care of him but Tony seems afraid of him for some reason.

2k words, trace of howard stark’s A+ Parenting 

The Other Side of the Story by missbecky

Summary: Steve goes to visit Peggy one day, and discovers he isn't the only Avenger who's been coming to see her.

2k words

Understanding something doesn't mean you can change it (except where you can) by sirona

Summary: How Howard Stark went from Captain America's Howard Stark to the one Tony grew up with. And a possible explanation for Tony's Mom not taking more of an interest in her son. And Tony coping with the parents he's been saddled with. With bonus appearances from Peggy Carter, Dummy and, eventually, Steve himself.

3k words

Watermarks by SailorChibi

Summary: There was nothing I could do by then, though. I tried, but Howard had so much money and influence and I’d given up all my parental rights.

Howard. Maria.

Steve stared at Peggy's letter in growing horror.

No.

3k words

Size America*  by KMYash

Summary: Fill for CapKink Prompt

http://capkink.livejournal.com/810.html?thread=342058#t342058

"Steve was well-endowed before he became a soldier, enough so that Bucky made jokes about it. After getting the serum, he's found that he's even grown there — and so has his libido, but he's terrified of sex, afraid he'll hurt someone, if not with his strength then with his dick.

Tony only needs to catch one glance at Steve changing before he's decided that yeah, he wants a piece of that. He just needs to convince Steve it's a good idea.

4k words, smut, ao3 users only. 

Mister Fixit and the Mechanic by Mizzy 💙

Summary: An Iron Man 3 AU, wherein Steve was defrosted too early, and after a couple of lonely decades working for SHIELD, decides to retire and run a hardware store called Mister Fixit’s in suburban Miami.

Tony Stark, presumed dead, presumed not-Iron Man, needs to make some weapons to take on the Mandarin’s mansion. A non-chain store that takes cash and doesn’t ask questions is just what Tony needs.

Steve becomes intrigued by the mysterious mechanic that keeps buying things from his store, but when he becomes more aware of what Tony the Mechanic is up to, is Steve ready to be this close to the world of superheroes again?

40k words. everyone in the small city loves steve!!! 

In the Stillness of Remembering by elise_509 💙

Summary: Steve Rogers is a reminder of a past that Tony Stark would rather forget. But when Steve’s own ghosts suddenly become the present, Tony finds he and Steve need each other to face the future.

70k words in 9 chapters, slow burn like.. WHY DONT THEY JUST KISS? 

And Tread Once More Familiar Paths by xxan

Summary: It wasn’t like reincarnation was some great big mystical concept. By now, it was completely accepted that sometime in your current life, you were going to remember something from a past life. Tony Stark's mother was worried when Tony turned ten and still hadn’t remembered anything, but the reincarnation specialist had assured her that some people began to remember as early as toddlers, and some as late as puberty.

But now Tony was 36, and he had never remembered anything.

7k words in 3 chapters,  soulmate au, angst with happy ending 

[tisthedamnstark]

And whatever they lose, they rediscover (Stony Angst)

Read on AO3

It's a little known fact that at fifteen, Tony Stark was a gifted poet. The combination of his genius mind and his complicated teenage emotions made him an able writer, collecting and polishing words like a machine he has to restore.

Now, Tony writes again, standing in the ashes of the Avengers fever dream.

OR

Set after Civil War, Tony writes a poem for Steve when all he has left is a burner phone, broken promises and a stubborn ember of hope.

cap breaks promises. "we'll lose" in that second, every ounce of trust released unbound willing to believe whatever he says in return. "then we'll do that together too".

Tony remembers, vividly, that time when Steve promised to be there. The time when he swore, half unspoken, that no matter how catastrophic the loss, he would stay by Tony's side.

He can still feel the rush of relief, the band aid on his ageing heart when he believed he had Steve. The feeling of being wanted and trusted is burned so strongly onto his very being that he still dreams about it- even now. Standing in the ashes of the Avengers fever dream. Surveying the wreckage of his naivety.

A little part of him still believes. Tony is fully aware that he poured expensive alcohol on a flame and expected it to flicker and die, when deep down he knew that it would burn brighter than before.

One day, he thinks it was a Sunday, Peter came into the tower unexpectedly and, well. It wasn't a pretty sight, as Tony was (impressively) both drunk and hungover.

He took one look at his wasted mentor and pulled out his phone, frantically typing something.

"Hey kid," Tony slurred, "don't go telling on me. Not cool."

"I'm not busting you Mr Stark, it's, uh, your life I guess?" Peter scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, "It just reminded me of a meme I saw. Um... this one!"

Peter handed Tony the phone, saying "This is you, Mr Stark, seriously."

The meme was a yellow dog in a room on fire, sat at a table with a mug. There was a speech bubble saying 'This is fine.'

Before Tony could respond indignantly, Peter took the phone back and said he was heading into the lab to work on the web formula. Waving him off, Tony sat back into the chair holding his glass of whiskey contemplatively.

"Damn kid." He muttered, "If only he knew how spot on that analogy was."

After that, Tony drank less, which was good. Unfortunately, he also decided that a good replacement for his poisonous drink was something toxic to inhale instead.

It had been a long time since Tony had smoked like this. Sure, he enjoyed a cigarette now and then, but he kicked the habit in his early twenties.

So, to say Rhodey was surprised to see his friend chainsmoking on the balcony was an understatement.

"You gonna talk about it, Tones?" He asked softly, without judgement.

"Not a chance." Tony scoffed, taking a particularly long drag.

"Hand me one then. I'll keep you company."

The pair spent almost two hours in a comfortable silence, the only sounds from the traffic below and the occasional click of the lighter.

When Rhodey got up to leave, he placed one hand on Tony's shoulder and said "Don't break yourself over this."

Tony heard the footsteps of his best friend fade, and wondered if he'd ever open up again. Ever trust again.

Tony remembers the time when Steve promised to be there. He wonders how delusional he must have been to have seen love in those eyes.

spoken so strongly you're compelled to believe. they lost. but they lost to eachother. promises twisted and poisoned and still promises. indescript phone. indescribable promise. "whatever it takes" he promised. his promises shouldn't mean anything now; no trust. liar.

Sitting at his desk, his eyes linger on the phone Steve left him when he, well, left him. Ran off with his childhood friend because he never truly loved-

Tony quickly cuts off that train of thought, forcing it back into the darkest corner of his mind, refusing to face reality. He returns his attention to the computer, to the document full of false starts and cliché concepts.

It's a little known fact that at fifteen, Tony Stark was a gifted poet. The combination of his genius mind and his complicated teenage emotions made him an able writer, collecting and polishing words like a machine he has to restore.

When his parents died, he felt the violent roar of grief, simultaneously overwhelming his mind and numbing his emotions to the point where he was so changed that he couldn't do it anymore.

Words that once flowed smoothly like clockwork ground to a bitter halt, depriving Tony of his last healthy outlet. Thinking nothing of it in the haze, he tucked his notebook away and reached for the whiskey.

The decades passed and it was almost as if the recent events revived the poetic voice in him; maybe two wrongs do make a right.

Deciding to change tack, Tony closed the document and reached for a pen and paper.

It was if someone had ripped open a faucet, everything that wouldn't type poured out onto the page. The poem was a mess, a formless chunk of angry, brutal, beautiful sentences that expressed everything he wanted it to.

He reread what he wrote with a more critical eye, reshaping the raw emotions into palatable English, harshly critiquing his rusty wording.

When Tony was satisfied, he folded the page in half and tucked it into the locked drawer of the desk.

Three weeks later, with a cigarette in his hand and a determined expression, he pulled out the burner phone and typed it all out into a text message. (It had been a while since he used an old-fashioned keypad, so that took longer than he would care to admit.)

Wondering if he would regret this, he quickly added a short line at the bottom:

"you asked to read my poetry a couple of years ago. i didn't like that idea. you taught me that we don't always get what we want, or even what we thought we already had. -ts"

Trying not to tremble, he sent off the message, praying that the phone really would contact Steve.

Without the luxury of read receipts, Tony went to bed troubled that night, silently begging the universe to give him a break for once in his life.

The universe, unsurprisingly, didn't reply.

yet somehow despite the pain, despite the loss, there's always more to gain in him. and whatever they lose they rediscover and it burns even brighter than it did before. hurts even deeper than it did before. they love even harder than they could before.

Tony, despite his current pessimism, hates bad endings. His life seems to deal him those cards constantly and unrepentantly, ending everything painfully and pairing them with beginnings that were so beautiful he couldn't bear to ignore them.

There was Yinsen, a saviour before he even spoke a word to Tony. He knows he owes his life to the man, and that debt shall remain unfulfilled until the day he himself drops. Tony tries to believe that death was truly what his companion wanted.

Obadiah was the caring father figure that Tony desperately needed, until his jealousy got the better of him and he went from supportive to unplugging the life support. Tony cursed the man who invented greed.

These circumstances are what made losing Steve so jarring. Somehow, Tony had convinced himself that his boyfriend loved him and would never leave him behind, but... it turns out even Captain America was a bastard.

"I'm so done with bad end-"

A shrill, tinny noise comes from the burner phone. On autopilot, Tony reaches for it and answers in a split second.

"Steve?"

There was a huff of breath and a pause.

"I read your poem, Tony."

Tony hadn't noticed how much he missed Steve despite everything. Hearing his voice was almost too much, but the last thing he would ever do is hang up.

Tony swallowed. "Um. Yeah. Thoughts?"

"We lost. And I'm sorry." Steve said, trying to hide the uncertainty in his tone, "I broke a promise, and I hurt us. We both made mistakes but..." A shaky sigh exits Steve's mouth, and Tony feels the familiar ache to kiss away the pain for him.

"But." Steve spoke more surely now, "I made the bigger one. That mistake was leaving you behind. I love you, Tony, and I have completely failed at expressing that in a meaningful way."

"I love y- you too." Tony said, voice small and stuttering slightly. All his residual anger was fading hearing from the man he loved speak to him again. "We really lost, Steve. Can we really continue the story of us? When all I have left is the ashes of what we were?"

"Killing me with poetry." Steve mutters, but he spoke too close to the microphone and Tony smiles a small, hopeful smile.

Steve, unbeknownst to Tony, was stroking over the words of his poem, having copied it out as soon as he received it. "What is lost, as you said yourself, can be rediscovered. What love we had can make it, Tony." He paused, before adding;

"We'll burn even brighter than we did before."

[punchholesinthesky]

Domestic avengers and other cute fics for your broken post-endgame soul

mostly fluffy fics and if they have a little angst theres a happy ending, several pairings, check tags and warning, under the cut for lenght

“Letting me in or letting me go” clint/natasha,maria hill, kate bishop, nick fury, private investigators AU

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5169491?show_comments=true&view_full_work=true#comment_103047759

“The nucleus burning the inside of the cell” stony, fem!tony, fake dating

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9276041

“The space between feathers” darcy-centric, darcy is tony’s daughter, avengers family feels

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1715504/chapters/3653909

“To have a home” 616/mcu mix, post TWS,, clint/natasha, clint&kate, kate/america

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3797752

“Put them back in poetry” 616 -coffeshop AU, carol&steve brotp, carol/jessica,carol danvers, steve rogers, tony stark, natasha romanoff, bucky barnes, jessica drew, thor,sif,bruce,all the young avengers

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042409

“I’m gonna find that girl” cartinelli, modern AU, christmas fic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5521448

“And the stars all looked down” cartinelli, modern au, coffeeshop au , christmas

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5568106

“The Iron Lady”Series, fem!Tony, Pepperony, covering the iron man movies and avengers but if tony was a woman

https://archiveofourown.org/series/127914

“Here I dreamt I was a soldier” WWII AU, clint/nat, carol/jess, the one where they’re codebreakers at bletchey park

https://archiveofourown.org/works/925882

“He picked the wrong one” 616, carol/jess, steve/tony, parallel universes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/899002/chapters/1737360

“Once you live a good story” 616, carol/jess, steve/sam, bucky/nat, young avengers, coffeeshop/bookshop AU

https://archiveofourown.org/works/759705

“Unexpected every time”, darcy pov, sif/loki, post-thor, cohabitation

https://archiveofourown.org/works/203746/chapters/302173

“Hold on to your heart baby” young avengers, kate/america, roller derby AU

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2328659

“The pit stop” darcy,jane, betty ross, pepper potts, aou tag, road trip

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3733240

“We are not history yet;we are happening now” darcy/bucky, soulmate mark au, angst with a happy ending

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2785958/chapters/6252605

“Call it luck call it tragedy” kate/america + cohabitation

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004233

“Spiral galaxy” natasha feels and backstory

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3667707

“This is how we roll” darcy is tony stark’s sister, shenanigans ensue

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3709507

“The year of sugar everywhere” natasha/yelena, fluffy spies

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6711379

“Click here to read the full article” steve/bucky, angie/peggy, fake dating, celebrity au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4919347

“For a rainy day” maria hill&natasha,clint/natasha, carol/jess,pepper/tony,  and they were roommates

https://archiveofourown.org/works/866946

“Unshackled” carol/jess, theyre complicated https://archiveofourown.org/works/3648003

“The cyborg arm job” leverage + mcu by copperbadge

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6242446/chapters/14302882

“I’m wide awake it’s morning” WIP, clint/natasha, kate/america,clint&kate college au,

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5696710/chapters/13122121

“Weekend plans” maria hill/natasha

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1690832/chapters/3596174

“A home in your mind” steve/maria hill, college au, living together

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1675478

“We’ll run like we’re awesome” darcy-centric, darcy is tony’s daughter, pepper/tony

https://archiveofourown.org/works/771491/chapters/1448078

“From a certain point of view” jarvis pov, steve/maria

https://archiveofourown.org/works/744103/chapters/1386364

“Technical difficulties” steve/bucky, being cute basically, messing with twitter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1779256/chapters/3810535

“Marvel city PIs” AOS,jemma/skye, jiaying/melinda, peggy/angie

https://archiveofourown.org/series/486491

“I came to win” hockey au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3453113

“How you get the girl” where the YA work at a diner

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2557724

“God save the queen” set during WWII, steve and bucky  meet a princess

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122144

“Diplomatic relations and intelligence failures�� maria hill/sif,alien courting rituals

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1665326/chapters/3534110

And you may as well read the whole series:

“Phil Coulson’s casefiles of the Toasterverse”

https://archiveofourown.org/series/18869

“He ain’t heavy, he’s our villain” darcy&loki, post-avengers,redemption and shit

https://archiveofourown.org/works/429016

The avengers and everyone play FMK

https://archiveofourown.org/series/97610

“Those damn stars in your eyes” carol/jess, jess vs star wars

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5588335

“Pancakes and lady bits” bucky/darcy,bruce/nat,pepper/tony,maria/steve, jane/thor https://archiveofourown.org/works/6908116

“Chiseled out of brick” steve/maria, he went to war but he can’t ask a girl out

https://archiveofourown.org/works/754852/chapters/1410497

“Alstroemeria” AOS, jemma/fitz, jemma/skye, imagine me and you AU

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2424200/chapters/5364749

“Adjectives assemble” maria/steve, clint/nat, carol/jess, bookshop au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835988/chapters/1592025

“We grew under a bad sun” clint&natasha growing up together (unfinished)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/468368?view_full_work=true

“Steve rogers: pr disaster” or the story’s of steve’s publicist

https://idiopath-fic-smile.tumblr.com/post/117149098318/steve-rogers-pr-disaster-gen-4k

“Jump! For my love” angie/peggy, love actually au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5110565/chapters/11757599

“Burn down the disco” fitzsimmon hang the dj au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14798531/chapters/34238189

“Hope burns bright” hope-centric + other players

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4933831

“We just decided to” steve/peggy, the newsroom au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13145568/chapters/30067047

“But I was late for this, late for you” jemma/skye, 40’s AU, Skye is Captain America

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8007598

“Tales of the bots” Tony Stark and his children, steve/tony, bot feels

https://archiveofourown.org/series/18990

“The state of the world and everyone on it” nat and maria post civil war

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14304189

“In all your cracked perfection” modern au, angie/peggy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7403269

“Feed the body, nourish the soul” part 1 of the amazing foodieverse, where they’re all chefs, steve/tony

https://archiveofourown.org/works/790633

“Turn me up when you feel low” steve/bucky, where steve is still cap but bucky is a radio host

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15144857

“Re: i’m keeping him” bucky and pepper take over the world, steve/bucky

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2787221/chapters/6255242

“A better type of fairytale” stucky,cartinelli,immay au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4647936/chapters/10601703

“Bucky barnes has his shit together” steve/bucky, modern au, coffeeshop au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5344526

[starkerintheparker]

For the Do You Ship It Meme from.... idk how long ago, I found it in my saved likes, but anyway. Starker, IronDad, Stony, Stuckony, Stucky, ScienceBros, IronStrange, IronHawk, WinterIron, WinterHawk, Clintasha aaaaaand Carol/Beating Up All The Bad Guys.

Omg thank god you’ve just reblogged it so I don’t have to search for that chart 😂 holy shit, this became a full TED talk and I apologize but uhh let’s get to it:

Starker - obviously OTP and I’d die for it, it’s all about the yearning and the implications and complications but they’re so wholesome and everything each other needs and deserves okay. Let Tony Stark be happy, damn it!!!!!

IronDad - a mix of Cuteness overload and Read fics about it. To be honest I don’t read it much because a) I’ve always preferred mentor!Tony over father figure!Tony and b) as a 24/7 horny hoe I’d rather read the nsfw version of facts lolol but sometimes I’m in the mood for a cathartic h/c IronDad, why not? Not everything works for me because I’m not a big Pepperony fan plus I like May to be very much involved in Peter’s life, but I’ve found some great longfics (big shout out to The Third Option with homeless!Peter and ever in your favor, a Hunger Games AU) thanks Ash for the recs!

Stony - uhhh I ship it but Wouldn’t read a fic about it. This probably doesn’t make any sense but while I’m still somewhat emotionally connected to this ship (read: Endgame was a Stony event and I can totally see Tony being in love with Steve since Avengers 1), the thought of them together after Civil War is too bittersweet so going back there would leave me miserable. I’ve been a very passionate Stony fan in the past, it’s what pulled me into the MCU fandom and what made me join tumblr in the first place. But CW left this horrible bad taste in my mouth and kinda ruined MCU!Steve for me. I honestly thought I’d never read another ship with Tony after that, but then Starker happened and I’m pretty satisfied with it to even consider going back there.

Stuckony - Dunno. I mean.... I’m all for a hot OT3 but I don’t think I could read a canon based fic with this particular trio. Steve is so devoted to Bucky I can’t help but think Tony would be a third wheel and he deserves better.

Stucky - Kinda leaves me indifferent? I’ve never felt the urge to check it out because a) I’ve never been a huge Steve Rogers fan to begin with and b) I don’t feel very connected to MCU!Bucky. I loved TWS but the movies that developed his character the most (TFA and CACW) are not among my favorites so I rarely rewatch them. Such a shame, I know for a fact it’s a BIG fandom with lots of great content and gorgeous art. 

ScienceBros - BROTP. They did Bruce dirty in IM3 (honestly, who besides Tony was well written in that movie???) but omg they’re totally friendship goals, I love how comfortable Bruce feels around Tony and how Tony shows his caring, supportive side with him in Avengers 1. 

IronStrange - Why not? Okay so I might be biased because I’m a slut for enemies to lovers but I��d have loved to see more of their bantering on screen. It’s funny because they’re so similar I wouldn’t have thought it would work to put them together, but turns out their dynamics are hilarious and fascinating and if I wasn’t a 100% Starker hoe I’d totally consider reading this ship. As it is, I’m happy to see Strange begrudgingly tagging along and helping out whenever Peter or Tony fuck things up, in that exasperated, bitchy way @learned-foot explores so well.

IronHawk - Meh. I’m not familiar with the comics and I don’t think I’ll read a ship involving MCU!Clint anytime soon. I like his relationship with Nat but apart from that I couldn’t care less about his character, especially after his appearance in CW.

WinterIron - Would read a fic about it. I actually have, and was surprisingly okay with it. Lots of room for angst, catharsis and forgiveness which are totally my jam. I kinda prefer the idea of WinterIron over WinterIronSpider (my fear of seeing Tony as a third wheel is showing isn’t it) but uhhh as I’ve said before I don’t feel very connected to Bucky as a character so I don’t think I’d read many canon based fics with these two. Besides, I’m pretty satisfied with Starker and once you find your OTP... 

WinterHawk - No thanks. I think I’ve read it before as a side ship in one or two Stony fics but it’s been ages and honestly I don’t care enough about either character to get invested in this ship. 

Clintasha - BROTP. I guess I could have shipped them if AoU hadn’t happened but it did and between that mess of BruceNat + Clint having a secret family I kinda lost the interest in knowing whatever the hell happened in Budapest. Wouldn’t say no to finding out in the Black Widow movie tho...

Carol/Beating Up All the Bad Guys - The sexiest pair and We need more of it okay??? Now that’s what I’m talking about! I love Carol and I love Captain Marvel and I fucking love Brie so I want her to be happy in all possible ways, be it beating up all the bad guys or with Maria, or with Valkyrie and preferably with me. I just love Carol and want to see her being badass forever, pls and thank

[claraxbarton]

A Winterhawk Primer

So, this is ENTIRELY biased to my own tastes, and the Winterhawk journey I have been on - which is largely entirely the fault of @kangofu-cb .

@casualminiaturetimemachine I hope this list curses exposes you to the larger Winterhawk world!!! 

1. @winterhawkkisses posts daily drabbles. All winterhawk. EVERY. DAY. This was NOT my introduction to the ship, but wow. You have a craving? You’re going to find it among their AMAZING writing. I recommend following on tumblr BUT you can also look at their archive on AO3. Rated G-M.

2. Ain’t That a Kick in the Head by Finely Honed is a massive fic. Modern day AU, featuring recovering vets Bucky and Clint and... everyone. It’s a companion piece to a stony fic, but can be read alone (it’s a prequel) and this was one of the first Winterhawk fics I read. It is lovely, filled with smut if that’s your thing, and SO many wonderful emotions and really well-developed characters. Rated E.

3. Nameless by AvaKelly. I’ll be honest with you - I LOVE angst, so, there’s a lot of that on this list. This fic takes places after TWS and is KIND OF a fix-it Ultron and Civil War fic? It’s lovely, angsty, has great Natasha things, and will make you feel all the feels. ALSO, lots of other freaking amazing winterhawk by this author to explore. Rated M.

4. This is My Rifle by @mollynoble. Modern day AU soulmate fic with Clint as a badass sniper and Bucky as a badass baby sniper? It’s awesome. It’s SO good. It IS unfinished, and you don’t get to experience any romancing, but you DO get wonderfully developed characters, some of the best writing I’ve ever had the pleasure to read, and just... a really well crafted story. I CANNOT recommend this fic enough. Rated M.

5.  The Other Man Out of Time by @captn-sara-holmes Look, throw a rock at Sarah Holmes’ fics and you’re going to find a fucking amazing story to read. But for my money? This is my FAV. If I had to pick only one of her fics to ever re-read... that would be a horribly unfair thing to make me pick. But I’d pick this one. They are ALL amazing, though. So I suggest you start with this one and then just... DIVE in and prepare to never resurface. It is, as the title suggests, a time travel fic. And it’s wonderful. THIS is the first Winterhawk fic I ever read, because @kangofu-cb knows me too damn well and knew EXACTLY which fic would suck me in. Rated M.

6. Silhouette by @mariana-oconnor. This is another case of being spoiled for choice. EVERYTHING she writes is brilliant and wonderful and has a lovely blend of angst, action, sass and dare I say fluff? You just feel GOOD when you finish one of her fics. The journey is always great. IF I had to pick a favorite... damn. I dunno. I THINK it would be this one? But, seriously, read ALL of her fics. ALL OF THEM. It’s kind of AU, kind of... not? It’s great. Rated M.

7. Mistakes Were Made by @spidergwenstefani. Look, as I previously stated, I go in for angst. But you give me humor and snark and good dialogue? I’m happy as can be. This one is short, but it is SO good. And all of their fics are great so give them a follow and read more!

8. You’ve Got a Killer Voice by Chex. This might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but damn do I love this fic. Clint has a kink and Bucky gives it to him. That’s... actually a pretty fair summary. Rated E. 

9. Trainwreck Through A Rear Window by @flawedamythyst. Another author who staked a claim on Winterhawk Mountain and has been churning out gold ever since. This was the FIRST fic I read by them, and I still think it’s my favorite, but there are SO many good ones to choose from. Modern AU. Rated T.

10. Kiss Me Deadly by @kangofu-cb. Gun to my head, I CANNOT choose a favorite Winterhawk (or any fic) by her. BUT. I can recommend this as an entree into her Winterhawk writing. She’s got a great variety of things, including a fucking AMAZING slowburn fic called Like Real People Do and she’s working on a ridiculously damn good birthday fic for me that you will get to see in 2019. But this is a great little slice of her typical feels, angst, sass, snark and smut. ENJOY. Rated E.

Okay. Ten seems like a solid number to stop with. But, well, I gotta plug myself as well... so... I’m going to suggest ONE of my fics and I dunno, maybe you will like it enough to read through the other Winterhawk I’ve got on AO3?

Hardfeelings It’s vaguely canon, rated T, and it wasn’t the FIRST Winterhawk fic I wrote, but it’s the first one I felt decently satisfied with?

Okay, so there’s my Winterhawk Primer of 10 (+1) fics. This list is NOT exhaustive by ANY STRETCH. There are SO MANY good Winterhawk fics out there - by the authors listed above and by authors NOT listed above! Seriously. SO MANY GOOD FICS. SO. MANY.

This list is, I think, just a decent list of some of the better known fics, as well as a good variety of the genre so you can get a feel for the different relationships people write with these two characters.

@everyone feel free to add your own thoughts and suggestions.

I hope you find some fics to fall in love with!

[buckybarnesbingo]

Week 2 Roundup!  We have some fantastic stuff from all our participants, so keep reading to see it all!

Title: Cross Stitch Cutie Bucky Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: Tumblr Square Filled: C3 - free square Ship: non Rating: Gen Major Tags: cross stitch, crafts Summary: Bucky wearing his Wakanda battle uniform.

Title: The Sum of His Fears Collaborator: lokivsanubis Link: AO3 Square Filled: C1 - nightmares Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Major Character Death, Evil Steve Rogers, Evil Tony Stark, Angst, Nightmares of Torture Summary: Very few things filled Bucky’s heart with dread and paralyzed him with fear. But this… this did… Word Count: 2280

Title: All Will Be Well Collaborator: littlemarvelfics Link: AO3 Square Filled: B2 -  AU: cop/detective/FBI Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Gen Major Tags: pregnancy, reader insert, domestic fluff Summary: Cop Bucky has a hard shift and you try to help him. Word Count: 1207

Title: I can feel the sinkin’ (But then I came around) Collaborator: bitterfloof Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y3 - accidental marriage Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Teen Major Tags: no powers AU, getting together, fluff and humor Summary: He downloaded the next photo … and the next … and the next. And with each one, the situation became more and more clear. Letting his phone drop onto the mattress, he paused for a few moments. The last photo still shining up at him - Clint and him, standing hand in hand laughing evidently, at the altar of some random crappy chapel. Bucky looked the to the sleeping form of Clint - he had married Clint Barton. Word Count: 3254

Title: Desk Collaborator: shieldagent-78 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: U2 - WinterHawk Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Teen Major Tags: fluff Summary: A training accident holds you up but not for long. Bucky is not pleased with you pushing yourself. Word Count: 531

Title: Count On Me Like One, Two, Three Collaborator: EvensDramaticShenanigans Link: AO3 Square Filled: U2 - schmoop Ship: Stucky Rating: Gen Major Tags: college AU, broken bones Summary: “I also need to get one of those scooter things,” Bucky adds. “That’s gotta be better than these damn crutches.” Steve’s eyes drop down to the crutches again, and he frowns. “Crutches are never comfortable,” he agrees, shaking his head. “You want a piggyback ride?” He asks, grinning as he laughs at his own joke. Bucky ducks his head and laughs along, a good-natured smile settling over his lips. “Yeah, that would be real nice, wouldn’t it?” He says, not thinking anything of it.When he looks back up, however, Steve’s already in the process of shrugging his backpack off of his shoulders. The smile melts off of Bucky’s face and his brows furrow together. Was that… a serious offer? Word Count: 4235

Title: A Heart Beats at Midnight, Chapter 3 Collaborator: Trashcanakin Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y1 -  warm and fuzzy feelings Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: fluff and humor, Tony POV, post CA:CW Summary: Bucky & Tony have a well needed chat. It’s an emotional rollercoaster! Word Count: 5045

Title: Dirty Mouth Collaborator: AvengersCompound (emilyevanston) Link: AO3 Square Filled: U1 -  KINK: please let me come Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content Summary: When Bucky makes a comment about your dirty mouth, you show him just how dirty your mouth can be. Word Count: 1589

Title: call the minions (fire up the lab) Collaborator: calmena Link: AO3 Square Filled: B1 - Protectiveness Ship: WinterIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: preslash Summary: When Reed Richards turns down Tony’s help with Dr. Doom, Tony knows what the next step has to be: he needs his own personal supervillain. And who else should respond to his request but the Winter Soldier, who cannot watch a dumbass risk his life without trying to interfere? Word Count: 1536

Title: it’s no secret, everyone knows Collaborator: Daecyan_Shikoba Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y1 - secret relationship Ship: BuckyNat Rating: Teen Major Tags: background Stony Summary: it’s only a secret because they’re oblivious. Word Count: 1292

Title: The Winter Senior Collaborator: Blondie_Bluue (LuvMeAlwayz)Summary: Link: AO3 Square Filled: C4 -  Get Off My Lawn Ship: Stucky Rating: Gen Major Tags: old man Bucky Summary: These kids just wont stay off Bucky’s lawn Word Count: 617

Title: Wake Up Collaborator: candycanedarcy Link: AO3 Square Filled: C5 - Coma Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Gen Major Tags: pre-relationship, protectiveness, angst with a happy ending Summary: Clint tells Bucky he loves him and promptly falls into a coma. A+ avoidance skills there, Clint. Word Count: 1761

Title: Torn By What We’ve Done And Can’t Undo Collaborator: Politzania Link: AO3 Square Filled: B4 - Regrets Ship: none Rating: Teen Major Tags: Civil War fix-it, not really character death Summary: Bucky Barnes is living a quiet life in Bucharest when his world is turned upside down twice within twenty-four hours. Now nearly four thousand miles from home, he is called to face his past, pay a debt, and begin again. Word Count: 1874

Title: Friday Night Collaborator: candycanedarcy Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - Bed Sharing Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Gen Major Tags: pre-relationship, drunk Clint, recovering Bucky Summary: Drunk Clint Barton is different than Sober Clint Barton, and Sober Clint Barton pretending to be Drunk Clint Barton is different from them both. Bucky’s pretty sure he feels the same about all of them anyway. Word Count: 3712

Title: The Ballad of Many Legs Collaborator: Judy_The_Dreamer Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y5 -  Bucky/Nat Ship: BuckyNat Rating: Explicit Major Tags: meet-cute, faerie AU, shifter AU, explicit sexual content Summary: Deprived of believers by the modern world, Steve Rogers is perhaps the most lacklustre earth faerie prince you’ll ever meet. Good thing he’s a man with a plan. Unfortunately for Steve, he hasn’t quite figured out that the people he’s charming aren’t exactly human in every sense of the word. Life can get lonely when your best friend is oblivious to the supernatural side of your life, so Bucky Barnes is in dire need of some feels. And guess who shows up to give them to him? Word Count: 3711

Title: Magic Spell Collaborator: lokivsanubis Link: AO3 Square Filled: B3 - Winteriron Family Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Hidden Relationship, Superior/Subordinate relationship, Angst with a happy ending potential Summary: Stephen sighed sitting beside Peter out on the patio while Bucky and Tony had a rather intense conversation behind the glass doors in the kitchen. The ex-neurosurgeon wasn’t a child psychologist but it didn’t take one of his four Ph.Ds to understand it wasn’t good for the small boy to see the two fighting. “Peter, I’m going to place a magic spell on your family, okay? It will protect them from harm but only if you promise me one thing.” He said taking the boy’s attention off the scene taking place before them. Or Tony’s parents are coming to town and Bucky has to move out during their visit. Word Count: 1019

Title: Can’t Be Blamed Collaborator: candycanedarcy Link: AO3 Square Filled: B3 - KINK: Phone Sex Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content, light D/s Summary: Bucky misses Clint when Clint’s on a mission. So he takes the situation into his own hands. Literally. Word Count: 1332

Title: fine, i’ll write a flower shop au Collaborator: 1000_directions Link: AO3 Square Filled: U3 -  AU: flower shop Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content, semi-public sex Summary: Undercover missions were easier before Clint had a boyfriend to miss. Word Count: 3312

Title: Super Man Flu Collaborator: until-theend-oftheline Link: Tumblr Square Filled: U5 -  marriage Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Gen Major Tags: mentions of injuries, fluff Word Count: 1600ish

Title: A Perfect Size Collaborator: HeyBoy Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y4 -  Height Difference Ship: Stucky Rating: Gen Major Tags: art

Title: Midsummer Afternoon Collaborator: SierraNovembr Link: AO3 Square Filled: B3 -  Tony Stark/Iron Man Ship: WinterIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: Masturbation, Voyeurism, Skinny Dipping, Secret Relationship, Minor Injury Summary:  Tony came slowly awake. The sound of the water and smell of honeysuckle swirling around him nearly tugged him back to his pleasant doze. There was a rustling below him in the small clearing, and a distinct humming that Tony would recognize half-dead. He leaned over the branch, staying well within the shady cover of the leaves, to spy the culprit. Word Count: 2977

[bucky-iss-bae]

Love Yourself (Stony) - Part 2

Fandom: Marvel Pairing: Stony (Steve x Tony) Summary: After Civil War Tony and Steves relationship falls to pieces as do both Tony and Steve - A Loose Enemies to Friends to Lovers - Very Loose. Warnings: Angst, swearing, I think I made Steve look like a really bad guy and a prick. But I do love him. A/N: So this is the first multiple part fic that I’m posting, one of many xoxo Hey all, here’s part 2 out of 3 on my Stony Fic. As a writer, I’m still growing so sorry if the characterisation is a little out, but hope you all enjoy x 

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Stony (Steve x Tony)

Summary: After Civil War Tony and Steves relationship falls to pieces as do both Tony and Steve - A Loose Enemies to Friends to Lovers - Very Loose.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, I think I made Steve look like a really bad guy and a prick. But I do love him.

Masterlist  Fandom List 

Love Yourself - Part 2 

Living in such close proximity to someone that Tony wanted to avoid was proven to be more difficult than he thought. Especially if he was still madly in love with that certain someone, yet wanted to avoid them like the plague. But of course, he would never admit the former to anyone. Ever.

But he understood that they shared mutual friends. That they had the same family, and that despite everything you can’t split up a family despite how heartbroken he was.

Tony had done the good thing of clearing everyone’s names from what happened in Germany, everyone aside from Bucky and Steve’s names. Despite it being more difficult than said, especially since they didn’t have a lot of trust in who didn’t want to go along with the accords.

The easiest if anything was to make sure Barton was free, seeing as he was ‘retired’ aside from the odd opp, or the cold cases he didn’t do much, he had SHIELD at his disposal yet the only person he took orders from was Fury.

Wilson was out of the goodness of his heart. He had a good relationship with Rhodey, and helped with his recovery and between Tony and Sam there was a mutual understanding.

T’Challa made sure that Steve and Bucky had their freedom, Tony couldn’t in his heart after everything that the three of them specifically went through to help them. They left him, so why should he help them?

Steve did try to talk to Tony, from time to time. Each time Tony nearly gave in. Nearly. Bucky, it was a different story, despite saying that Tony wouldn’t help them. He helped Bucky a lot.

After Bucky was put under in Wakanda, and once they returned to New York he had a new arm. One with nanotechnology that Tony understood and had to work with especially after missions to ensure everyone's safety.

Trusting either of them in battlefields wasn’t something he wasn’t comfortable with, instead it spiked his anxiety, and he soon realized they were trying to prove their worth, and trying to prove that they were on the same team as Tony.

Tony soon started to grow from everything. Over time he got used to living in the same space as his ex, he got used to being around Bucky. Started showing his face more around the compound, started eating more, sleeping more, smiled and laughed more. Peter helped with this, made him happier. But whenever he saw Steve he hurt on the inside. He hurt but he numbed that pain out, still ignoring him unless it was to do with a mission.

But the thing Tony didn’t realize that helped him heal was helping Bucky. Learning who Bucky was and how he wasn’t the Winter Soldier. The one that killed his parents.

When working on Bucky's arm, ensuring it was safe enough, or mending any damage through missions, they had to endure spending time with one another.

“Why are you doing this?” Bucky whispered one day in the lab. Just the two of them, sometimes Natasha, Wanda, or Sam were wandering around. This time it was only the two of them.

“For the safety of my team”

“I mean why didn’t you get Shuri involved, get her to do it rather than doing this when we both know you hate me”

“Because it’s easier if I do it. Now I really don’t want to talk Barnes because yes I do hate you. I hate you because you killed my parents. But I also hate you because I know it wasn’t you who killed them. I hate you because the first time I genuinely loved someone, I was left for dead by them. And as much as I know it’s not your fault. There’s no one else to blame Barnes”  

Bucky once again let the guilt fill him up after hearing this. He felt guilty over something he had no control over, Tony knew this and Tony regretted opening his mouth. Both in the lab too caught up in their own feelings to talk to the other.

Shuri had shown Tony everything, how scattered Barnes’ brain was. Shuri showed and explained the advance science behind everything. Tony learning so much more than he would’ve ever realized. How Bucky was closer to self-destructing than recovering was scary since the science behind it showed everything.  

Forgiving Bucky was not on Tony’s agenda, but he saw a piece of him in Bucky. He saw how they both suffered from anxiety, how they both were trapped in their own minds. Their own nightmares. They were both their own worst enemies. 

“I’m sorry, for everything I caused” Bucky whispered, his voice slightly cracking, “For taking away everything you’ve ever loved. Steve included. I know that you love him. I know that before I came back, the two of you were a couple. And I’m sorry I broke you both apart. I see it in Steve, he’s hurting because of it, he tries to hide it, but I know it’s my fault.”

“I know you never caused any of this Barnes. You didn’t break us apart. He has done that all by himself.”

Those few words between them allowed some air between them to be cleared up. It almost took their lack of relationship to another level. They knew they weren’t friends, but they knew they were along the way. The tension between them had been eased, which even allowed them to have time outside of the lab to talk and interact with one another.  

“What happened between yourself and Barnes?” Wanda asked getting coffee one morning.

“Nothing, why?”

“Well... in the last few days. You’ve spoken to him outside of the lab, joked with him, even asked how he was and if he wanted coffee.” She said waving her mug in the air.

“We talked it out a few days ago. I told him I understand. We now have somewhat mutual respect for one another”

“How about Steve. Have you two spoken yet?” She pushed 

Tony grimaced at that, “No. That’s different. Only in meetings”

She nodded her head before sipping on her coffee, “Peter will be here today, won’t he? For the weekend?” She asked, changing subjects.

“Yeah, Happy is getting the kid. His aunt said he can stay around as long as there are no secret missions. Not until he at least finishes high school, which I completely agree on”

“I’m sure being an Avenger will look better on his resume than a high school diploma,” Barton said walking in with Wilson and Barnes closely behind. Those two looked like they just got back from a run, Wilson going right for the juice in the fridge and drinking straight from the carton,

“Gross, man. Could you not the rest of us might want some of that as well” Barnes said taking the carton off of Wilson and drank from it as well,

“Hypocrite” Sam grumbled whilst Barnes grinned at him,

“I hate you, I really do. I cannot express how much I hate you”

“I love you too” Barnes winked at Wilson before turning his attention on everyone else.

“So the spider kid is coming today then huh?”

“You two are not allowed to bully this kid and this is coming from me,” Clint said whilst putting an unhealthy amount of sugar into his coffee.

“Us? Bullying him? That’s preposterous, outrageous, completely absurd. We are fine gentlemen of this community, some of us being part of the elderly community, and you know what the old folks are like” Sam said throwing a hand on Barnes’ shoulder, “They just hate the youth sometimes. The youth and their technology, and memes. So maybe, just maybe, this old age pensioner has a slight dislike towards him or acts differently towards him because they were both raised in New York in completely different times, and he’s just not with it any longer. But nah jokes aside, in reality, the kid is good fun, we never bully him it’s all fun and games, he knows that, and we know that, he’s our friend!”  

“The kid talks a different language. It’s slightly scary. I still have no clue what memes are, I don’t even understand what Wilson says most the time” Barnes grumbled.

“You see what I always gotta deal with?” Sam asked,

“Hold up, what you gotta deal with?” Clint asked.

“Thought you could see anything Hawkeye” Wanda smirked at him.

“Wait what?” Tony asked looking between everyone.

Sam and Bucky were just stood there rising their eyebrows and smirking at everyone else,

“Same man. Same” Clint murmured, “So are you two bangin’ or what?”

“Thought that was obvious about a month ago?” Sam said while grinning.

“But you hate each other” Tony Pitched in, “You bitch about one another to each other all the time, all you ever say to me is how much Wilson annoys you whenever I’m fixing you up”

“My way of showing affection and love.”

“Damn, that has fucked with my mind Wanda how did you know?”

“How would I not know?”

Tony realized how this changed the friendship between Steve and Bucky. How it was a friendship, but that didn’t change Tony’s betrayal, all it confirmed was that Steve didn’t have romantic feelings for Bucky when he left with him.

“You know it’s like women have a sixth sense in this type of stuff? Because it's creepy how you guys always see more than we ever do” Barton asked Wanda.

“I’m sure your wife can answer that for you Clint”

Clint looked confused and looked at Tony who shrugged, “Don’t look at me man, I’m not your wife”

Clint just snorted at that but not long later Peter arrived at the compound happy to see everyone.

**

Despite being around his friends and the closest he could get to family, Steve had never felt more alone. He was a fugitive for so long, constantly on the run and it meant he could never stop to think, but now everything was back to normal, he was missing one of the most important people in his life. That person was Tony Stark.

Since Siberia, and everything that was revealed, Steve hadn’t been himself. He was on one hand reunited with his best friend since childhood, his best friend for just under a hundred years, but at the cost of losing the love of his life. The man he could see himself spending the rest of his life with was on the other side of the fight in Germany, and things were different from there on. There might’ve been a chance for recovery at that stage, but Siberia burnt that down. The fight between Tony and Bucky essentially meant he had to choose a side.

Either way, he would’ve regretted who he chose, but he knows that Bucky needed him, and he knows that he doesn’t regret it as much as he would’ve to leave Bucky.

But now, now everything is back to normal, everything aside from the relationship between Tony and Steve. Even Bucky and Sam had one another, and Steve was happy, happy that his both of his best friends had one another, despite their relationship being different than others, they knew they loved each other despite the mocking arguments that they have, their way of showing affection.

Since being back, Steve has tried ways to take his mind off of being so close to Tony yet so far, it involved training up SHIELD agents, despite his tarnished reputation, it involved training constantly doing anything to get his mind off of Tony, but he couldn’t.

He knew that Bucky and Tony had repaired their non-existent relationship, that they spoke more so than Steve and Tony had in the last few months. And at this point, Steve just wanted to at least talk to Tony, allow them to try to repair the tension between them. The last time he tried, Tony was in a bad place, and since he hasn’t been as bad in terms of eating and sleeping, and talking with everyone else because now the only person in the compound he kept his distance from was Steve.

Steve watched him, made sure he was ok, he got Sam to keep an eye on him, he constantly asked Natasha for updates on him, same for Wanda.

“You need to talk to him, Steve. Both of you are exactly the same, but he feels betrayed by you. He says he got over it, everyone knows he hasn’t and won't. So the two of you need to talk”

“He won’t talk to me, Nat. He won’t”

“Last time he never, just try again. See if you can with the basics. Acquaintances, friends. Alright”

Steve just nodded unsure on how he would approach Tony again after last time. This time he figured he could do it in open space that was still away from everyone else, probably his lab, maybe the gym.

Which is where he managed to get Tony next, it was 3am, and the gym was empty when he went in there, unable to sleep and he knew the only things he could do was go up against the punching bags.

He was shocked to see Tony there on the treadmill at such a late hour, and tony saw him, neither of them saying anything for a few moments,

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Steve asked Tony, saying the first thing that seemed reasonable to say.

“No” Tony replied back shortly,

Steve just nodded and went to wrap his hands,

“How... how have you been?” Steve warily asked Steve, his eyes shifting from the hand wraps to Tony.

“I’m in here at 3am, what do you think?”

Steve sighed, “Tony, we need to talk. We need to straighten things out. I need to apologise, I miss talking to you, I miss being around you”

Tony let out a bitter chuckle at this, “You are around me Steven. You're in my compound are you not?”

“That’s not what I meant Tony. You know this”

“You’re right, I do know this. How do I know you won’t betray me again Steven?”

“I can’t make up for what I’ve done in the past Tony. I’m sorry though, and I know sorry won’t cut it, but I want to build something between us again, I want to prove to you that I... I won’t betray you again. I won’t walk away from you again unless you want me to”

“And what if I do want you to? You’ve done it before, shouldn’t be too hard again should it?”

“You think it wasn’t hard for me? Tony, I Love you! I still do! I will always Love you. At that time I had to choose between the Love of my life and my best friend since before the damn war. It wasn’t an easy choice, but the way things went down in Germany, I wasn’t going to be easily forgiven for anything. So saving Bucky was all I could do at the time”

Tony had a grimace plastered on his face, “Bucky, I’ve spoken to him. Not a bad guy. Different from what I expected. I know it wasn’t him who killed my parents” Tony said ending the sentence with a whisper, “I know it was the Winter Soldier, Hydra. But he’s a good guy, him and Sam, they’re good for each other”

“How about us Tony. We were good for each other”

“We were” Tony agreed, “But that doesn’t mean I trust you, Steve. You knew everything, about how I felt, about how everyone in my life has walked out. The anxiety I have gone through in the last few years. Yet you, you do the same as everyone else”

“I’ve come back though. I wanted to be back with you Tony. I didn’t want to walk the way I did”

“You still did it though Steve”

“Let me prove to you that you can trust me then. However long it takes Tony. Let me prove myself, this time I will not walk away, I won’t betray you, just let me prove myself”

Tony looked at Steve with an intent look in his eye, “You got one chance Rogers. I’m still not over what happened last time. And this doesn’t mean we’re anything aside from acquaintances, friends even”

Steve couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face, and Tony couldn’t hold back the small smile on his, they both felt a small sense of relief. From going from Lovers to Enemies, they took a big step in order to become friends with one another again. And this time Steve will prove to Tony that it’s just him. And Tony may or may not try to be as stubborn as he is.

[crazy4thewinbros]

Tears of the Sun (Stony AU)

Hi! everyone, so I re-watched the movie Tears of the sun this weekend and I thought well why the hell not?, so yeah this fic is my contribution to this amazing fandom, I’m no native english speaker so bare with me folks, i’ll try to post every Monday for new chaps, my ask box is always open!

*Some names of places or sites are made off due to Wakanda being a fictitious country, in the MCU Wakanda is between Kenya and Uganda, even taking part of Kenya soil so I went along with the reference and used a few names from Kenya.

*Modern setting, no powers.

*Steve’s pov.

Summary: SHIELD’s elite team lead by Captain Rogers are send in a mission to Wakanda to extract Dr, Anthony Stark and bring him to safety to american soil due to the country rapid grow of violence with the change of government in Wakanda. (STONY slow burn)

Warnings: violence, mentions of rape and abuse, angst, military language. I’ll put more warnings in every chapter as needed. 

CHAPTER 1: The Mission

…The tension that’s been brewing up in Wakanda with the demise of King T’Chaka exploded yesterday when the exiled General N’Jadaka or better known as Erick Killmongrer, son of N’Jobu; the deceased  younger brother of the former king T’Chaka, orchestrated a swift and violent coup against his cousin the heir of the throne prince T’Challa; in the land of 120 million people and 250 ethnic groups there had been a long standing ruling of the royal family, were the democratic ruling was well received, the enmity of the border tribe with the royal family; The black panther tribe persisted over the years, Erick Killmongrer used it to gain followers and a way in to perform the coup; the victorious Kilmongrer rebels along with now HYDRA soldiers are taking to the streets as periodic outburst of violence persist all over the country, tens of thousands had been killed in the fight or executed thereafter, fearing ethnic cleansing the majority of the black panther tribe has abandoned their homes and are fleeing the city searching sanctuary where ever they may find it, for now Erick Killmongrer has taking control of almost all the country, there’s no word yet on the united nations or SHIELD’s actions to counter the violence, but as preventive and safety measures the embassies had been evacuated…

“welcome back” Fury said cutting the voice of the reporter, his team had been helping evacuate the embassies in Wakanda and they were just finishiing eating after their last mission, Bucky and Sam had power on the TV, the world only spoke of what was happening in Wakanda, the fight for control over the supposedly mines of vibranium in the country was on the roof, he was so damn tired of this civil war and evacuating insolent people “gentlemen, Romanoff; we do appreciate you’ve been hopping out there, but we’re going to put you back in, priority tasking, we need to extract a critical personality ASAP, so finish your chow, refit for 3 day LRRP, se you in debrief room”  they all nodded

“We haven’t even been here an hour and we are going back to that hell hole?” Clint asked making Sam and Buck shrug

“This has to be important if Fury is debriefing us personally” Scott mused making Nat nod

“What do you think Steve?” Bruce asked him

“Doesn’t matter, is a mission, so hurry and lets go, the sooner we go the sooner will be back” he said standing up and going to get prepared for the debrief he heard some groans in his way out but he paid no mind, at the end they were going to follow orders if it was important for them to go, they’ll go. He and his team has being waiting in the debrief room for at least 10 minutes when Fury finally arrived with Hill and Coulson.

“Ok, let’s begin” Fury said, the lights went down and the large screen lit up, showing a map of Wakanda “now, intel estimates that Hydra has at least 5 thousand soldiers divided in the southwest sector of Wakanda, they taken to government armories and unfortunately they have been supplied far too well over the years, in addition the rebels are killing whoever that are not supporting the change in government” Fury said looking at every single one of them “all right, your prime objective is to find and extract Dr. Anthony Edward Stark with Stark Industries, Dr, Stark is the son of the late Howard and Maria Stark; he was there helping to construct a new orphanage and school in the area with the Maria Stark foundation, the second objective is two nuns and a priest who run the safe camp where this construction was taking place near the border if they so choose to leave, they are in St. Michael Mission Camp, here” the map zoomed in showing the small camp, just in the middle of the rain forest and the zone swimming in soldiers “you will halo over Kenya and float into your drop zone, near the edge of the Horr rain forest, when you get your package, you will proceed to your extract point” Fury explained the drop zone a few miles away from  the camp and the pick up a few clicks from the border  “our presence on the ground will be consider hostile, questions?” Fury asked.

“Doesn’t Stark has enough money for a private extraction team?” Clint asked.

“Yes, he had one in the city, a Shield Team to be exact" Fury explained.

"SHIELD's?" Thor asked before he could because that was unheard off no one used SHIELD for an outside job no less for a civilian.

"His father Howard Stark was the co-founder of SHIELD along with Agent Carter who is his godmother, Stark Industries is one of our major contributors, Stark's signature is in your paychecks, there for we are his private extract team" Fury explained, there was no more to say to that does it? Clearly Stark was important and the mission was a must; the scoff of Clint and Scott was loud in the room making the others smirk.

“Sir, rules of engagement?” Nat asked.

“You will defend yourselves if you’re fired upon; otherwise do not engage” Fury confirmed.

“What’s our escape and evasion plan?” Buck asked next.

“Go to the Kenya border through the North Horr passage, anything else?” Fury asked there were no more questions, he nodded and looked at Fury when his eye went to him “very well, dismissed” Fury said leaving the room and he followed him just outside “Rogers, be careful I just received notification that the hole royal family had been assassinated; it will be more dangerous for you and the team, Stark is not only the rich white son of this organization founder,  he is a medic but also the brain engineer of Stark Industries and the one who had made and supplied your entire gear and weaponry so Shield and the United States are very aware of the importance of this man to get to American soil” Fury said, he nodded.

“Understood sir” he replied and went to the room to retrieve his team.

“I didn’t knew a Stark could get his hands dirty” Scott said making the group laugh.

“Does a rich kid even know how to use a shovel?” Clint asked making them laugh harder, they got ready and went in the plane, it had its complications but surely Stark was dying to leave the forest and go to back to air conditioning and a comfortable bed, hell he was sure he wanted to go back home and sleep at least 48 hours...

[ironheart-stony]

MCU Civil War Fic Recs | Stony Edition

FINALLY i’ve decided to post my first fic rec list. Caught up with my feels after watching CA:CW. THE PAIN, THE ANGST, THE HEARTBREAK </3 Anyway I’ve been reading lots of MCU Post-Civil War fics and I thought it’s time for me to contribute to our lovely fandom. Here are some of my favorites to share with y’all. Don’t be shy, feel free to share any fic recs with me (●♡∀♡) I’d love to read more!

last updated 17/7/2017.

new fics added on top :) will be updated from time to time if there are new recs.

Over Sea, Under Stars by vorkosigan | 36k | fix-it, slowburn, textingfic

Tony gets the phone, but he never uses it and he never intends to. Or, he doesn’t until Steve starts texting him, asking strange questions about medication and mental health, which is when Tony gets worried.

(A texting fix-it that grew beyond all proportion. Deals with depression and anxiety quite a lot. There is even some plot in there somewhere.)

Lost With You (Might Be All I Need) by ann2who | E | 25k | fix-it, dimension travel

Tony and Steve fall through a portal just after defeating Thanos and his army. Stranded in another dimension, the two have to finally face what happened—and what could have been.

This Is How We Happen by Starksus | 3.9k | angst

"Tony is missing."

Steve hears the words over Natasha and Clint's bickering, over Sam's snorts, over the erratic beat of his heart.

Things We Wish Were True by Wix | M | 15k - WIP | postCW, multiverse

The Avengers are in the aftermath of the Civil War, trying to keep their heads above water when an unexpected portal opens up and drops a few familiar faces on their doorstep for the upcoming battles.

Never let it be said that fate doesn't have a sense of humor.

I Cannot Walk on Water ♡ by izazov | M | 26k | PostCW, angst, not exactly a happy ending

Steve doesn't think about having sex with Tony Stark. He certainly doesn't plan for it. It happens anyway.

A New Way For Us by ann2who | M | 24k | CW fix-it, time travel

They fight Thanos—and they’re losing. And before Tony knows what’s happening, he’s standing with Doctor Strange in front of the Eye of Agamotto and gets send back in time. Can he find a way to fix things this time around, or are they doomed to fall apart all over again?

Multitude of One ♡ by nostalgicatsea | G | 4k | soulmates, angst

"So was I," his soulmate would tell him one day, and what it would mean was that they loved him. 

Disrepair by Tippet | T | 30k | CW fix-it

Post-Civil War. A mission at a power plant goes south and the ensuing explosion triggers the denaturation of the serum. In which Steve insists that he's feeling fine, Natasha gets Tony involved and pieces start being put back together. 

Mailbox Full series ♡  by RurouniHime | T | 9k

Tony bypasses into the mailbox every time. It drives Steve absolutely nuts. 

Used to be Mine by Fangirlingmanaged  | T | 12k - WIP | break-up

Tony can't even recognize himself nowadays.

Bring Him Home by seventymilestobabylon | E | 13k

Tony misses Steve very badly after the Accords. Some days he deals with it better than other days.(a fic featuring the booty call flip phone, minor kidnappings, and time jumps between chapters because the election has been happening and my brain has been too mush to make a proper plot)

Take It All Away by ann2who | part 9 of Say When Verse | E | 71k | married!stony

Steve and Tony love each other—that would undoubtedly always be true. However, there might just be things that don’t care for love, that don’t care what it means for the two to take different sides. Things that none of them could’ve foreseen. Things that might just rip everything apart.When the United Nations attempt to put restrictions on the Avengers, Tony has to admit that the pawns had been in place for a long time, he just hadn’t dared to admit it to himself. And now, it is simply a matter of who will move first—and more importantly: in which direction.

World Keep Turning ♡ by gilestel | teen | fancomic

Tony struggles with the day-to-day of leading a UN-sanctioned team of superheroes, Steve goes on a listening tour across America, and Natasha would like to remind everyone that (unlike Sam Wilson) she is not a licensed therapist.(55/200) page fancomic

Fundamental Attribution Error by Atsadi | teen | 57k - WIP

When we do things, we always have a good reason. It’s other people we see as defective.

Learning to look a little harder than that will be a long journey, but it might just be worth the struggle to change. After the civil war, everyone is left living in the new reality they've created — and now they have to figure out if they are willing (and able) to try again at being a real team.

Rebirth by panda_shi | mature | 105k | angst & feels

If you think of life and death on a continuum, finding the point where it tips is complicated. It cuts across all political lines and gets to the root of our humanity. It requires faith informed by years of intimacy that you're doing what's right for your loved one.

But Tony is just a man. And there's only so much he can do.

(Or that time when Tony does what is necessary to survive just so that he can continue to fix things and makes extremely rash decisions; because even if Steve may have left him behind, doesn't mean Tony would do the same. Kind of.)

Yesterdays by by panda_shi | mature | 67k | deaged!tony

Everything seems to be in working order; except one day, after hoping and hoping for a chance to set things right, to prove what he had meant in his letter, that he'd be there for Tony when Tony needs him, Steve is given the opportunity to. It just isn't what he had expected it to be. Not by a long damn shot. Sequel to Rebirth.

Tusk ♡ by laudatenium | mature | 6k | fix-it

Strangely, or not so strangely, Steve is the one to call first.“Tony,” is all he says, low and throaty and oh so raspy.Tony says nothing. Not because he has nothing to say, but because he has too much. And maybe, for once, Steve should be the one talking.

Never Eye To Eye ♡ by vorkosigan | mature | 26k

After the Civli War, the Avengers were back together.

How is everything going, Tony? Pepper had asked in her email. It's fine (Tony had written back). I'm fighting with Steve all the time. Everything is going to hell. I'm okay (you know I'm always okay).

(Or: How Tony and Steve learned to be a bit gentler with each other)

Irreparable ♡ by aslightstep | general | 99k - WIP | slowburn, fix-it

It's a mistake destroying Steve's gesture of goodwill, Tony thinks, even as he takes an unholy amount of glee smashing that stupid phone to bits down in his lab and DUM-E waits eagerly with a fire extinguisher for the last of the letter to burn down. But it's a mistake Tony is happy to make.

Like a Postcard Phrase ♡ by isellys | teen | 5k| pining, fix-it

How to say ‘wish you were here’ without actually saying so, as done by Captain Steve Rogers.

Aftermath by Potrix | explicit | 2k | stuckony, ABO verse

One moment they’re fighting, yelling scathing insults and ugly accusations at each other, and the next they’re kissing, all teeth and anger-fuelled desperation. Steve backs him up until Tony’s shoulders hit the closest wall, and hoists him up, giving Tony no choice but to wrap his legs around Steve’s waist for support. Tony bites Steve’s bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, and Steve growls, and grips both of Tony’s wrists in one big hand, his hold bruisingly tight.

I never thought I could have this (and now it's gone) by tarialdarion | mature | 1k | ABO verse, miscarriage

‘Dear baby,’ he thought hysterically while dodging an arrow, ‘One day your daddy and I fought and almost blew up an airport. I hope you’re better at communication than we are.’

An Infinite Number Of Monkeys At Typewriters (Or, Steve and Tony Finally Get It Right) by JenTheSweetie | mature | 18k | fix-it

Tony blinked up at the face staring down at him. This was impossible. This was definitely 100% not possible, he had not just started giving a good morning handy to -

“Steve?”

After the events of Civil War, Tony and Steve wake up in bed next to each other in an alternate universe. It goes about as well as you'd expect it to.

Smoke and Mirrors by Riverlander974 | teen | 72k 

Before Afghanistan, before New York, and long before Siberia, Tony was given the gift of Peggy Carter as his godmother.It was maybe one of the best gifts he ever received, one that kept on giving even forty years later. Because even when the Avengers are scattered, the team and his trust torn apart, there's still one thing Tony has that no one, not Steve, not Ross, not Stane, had ever managed to take from him.A family.In the aftermath of the Civil War, Tony will need them more than ever if he's to pick up the broken pieces of himself again. And save the world. Of course.

weigh the heart, tip the scales ♡ by carzla | explicit | 14k | dubcon

It was the first time they’d seen each other since Siberia. It was probably one of the worst possible ways to have an unscheduled reunion. It was also about to get worse. A lot worse. 

Last Train Home ♡ by erde | teen | 10k 

 Steve writes letters to Tony that he never sends. By the time he hands them to their rightful owner, Tony has had a brush with death, has retired as a superhero, and now has a small town workshop of his very own. But it's okay, Steve has gone into retirement too.

(nothing left to lose) ♡ by romanoff | explicit | WIP

An alternate universe where Steve wins the Civil War.

It doesn't go well for Tony.

Saudade ♡ by aslightstep | mature | 17k | break-up, one-sided love, starkquill

A deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return.

Steve and Tony before, during, and after.

And In The Silence That Follows ♡ by lazywriter7 | mature | 19k | fix-it, steve feels

“But as a guy who’s never been good at anything but killing- lemme tell you this. Wars can come to us, and we can fight to end them.”

“But nothing’s ever worth starting one. Nothing at all.”

As the dust of Civil War starts to settle- Steve begins to see a couple of things.

The Man Behind The Weapon by lazywriter7 | mature | 10k - WIP

“Humans are machines. Fascinating ones, but fatally flawed- because we feel too much. We try our hardest to be objective; but whenever two sides are too close, we ‘follow our heart’, which means fall prey to whatever our emotions think best and fuck all that logic might have had to say about it.”

Sequel to 'And In The Silence That Follows'. Three months after the 'truce', AIM is on the move again, and Norman Osborn seems increasingly determined to seize power in the void that the Avengers left behind. Logic dictates that Tony should cooperate with the runaway superheroes, led by one Steve Rogers to get ahead of the situation. Too bad his trust issues don't agree with him. Too bad humans aren't actually machines who can turn emotions off at the flick of a butto-Oh. Hello Extremis.

Fracture ♡ by laireshi | explicit | 2k | dark!steve

Steve splays his fingers on Tony's chest, over his heart, and Tony whimpers. "You should take better care of that, Tony," Steve says, digging his fingers in briefly.

Tony closes his eyes. "Don't."

Steve laughs, and it's cold. He trails his fingers lower. “I could hurt you,” he says, almost conversationally. “I'm a criminal now, remember.”

Broken Mirrors ♡ by laireshi | teen | 3k | crossover, multiverse

“He hid some things from me,” Tony says, then shrugs. “It’s fine. I hid some things from him, too. Don’t you know this story?”

616 Steve meets MCU Tony.

Closure by laireshi | teen | 1k | fix-it (sort of)

“You were supposed to say thank you,” Tony said after a moment, covering his eyes with his forearm. It wasn't as if Steve could see him. “It's only polite, you know. Happy birthday, Steve—Thank you, Tony.”

It always rains ♡ by Kamaleen | mature | 21k - WIP | ABO, mpreg, ANGST, H/C

It was raining when Tony exited his car. In front of him was a church.

He wasn't sure why it always rained nowadays, but it wasn't like he could do anything about it. Tony knew this weather kind of suited his mood, and his current mental state.

Attending funeral after funeral after you've been beaten up by the father of the embryo in your womb in Siberia before he left you in the cold, was beyond hard and painful. Tony had cried himself to sleep more than once. However, he couldn't let anybody know, except Vision who had figured it out by himself.

"I sense a lifeform in you," the android had mentioned to him once. "Is it… Steve's?"

Tony remembered breaking down in front of him, after that Vision never mentioned the relationship between Steve and the lifeform in Tony's womb again. He felt guilty, yet grateful. It had been barely a week after the incident in Siberia. Tony wasn't ready for something that would remind him of that event, and he doubted he would ever be.

I said to call me when you need me (But it is I who need you now) by rz_jocelyn | general | 2k | pining!steve

Steve never lets go of the phone. Sam thinks that it's time for him to use it.

nothing hurts more than your memory by boiledegg | mature | 14k - WIP | torture, kidnapping, hurt!tony

The written letter and cellphone never made it to Tony.

Tony never made it home.

Making Amends ♡ by TheseStoriesAreWrittenOnMyHeart 

Everything about them happened in seconds. Their first meeting was quick, with Tony landing next to the Captain, each man giving a curt nod and name in greeting. Their argument on the hellicarrier took mere seconds to escalate. Until Steve was goading Tony into putting on the suit and going a few rounds and Tony not so subtly reminding Steve that he wasn’t afraid to hit an old man. It was only seconds of staring at Tony on that New York City Street, his arc reactor dark, no rise and fall of his chest, for Steve to know that inside the tin can, was a good man. Then Ultron happened, and it took seconds for their world to change, seconds for Steve to throw his shield at Tony and for the billionaire to send a repulsor blast back. They went from laughing and relaxing to standing on an edge thousands of feet above solid ground. And now…now everything’s changed. And all it took was a combination of seconds; of decisions made, actions performed and words spoken that they couldn’t get back. Just a few ticks of the clock for their world to shatter.

One Phone Call Away ♡ by ann2who | explicit | 7k | fix it, steve feels

It took two months and fourteen days.Well, two months and sixteen days if you wanted to be nitpicky and count the two days it had taken Tony to actually accept that yes, the phone was still lying on his desk, and no, it wouldn’t magically disappear just because he wished it so.The phone, and beneath it, that goddamn letter. If you need me, I’ll be there.

Of Spiders and Super-Soldiers ♡ by AuddieAussie | explicit | 113k - WIP | +winteriron & stuckony, superfamily

After the hell that was Ultron and the Sokovia Accords, Tony doesn't blame the team for wanting nothing to do with him. To make up for past mistakes, Tony disappears into his lab and focuses on using his money and brains to provide the Avengers with more fancy tech than they'll ever need. By doing this, he also doesn't have to worry about Steve's grim frown, Bucky's hateful gaze, or everyone else's cold annoyance.For six long months, this formula worked, but then fate decided to be a Loki-like dick and Tony wasn't sure how it happened, but in the span of one week, he'd somehow acquired a kid.

Lying Next to Me (and Straight to My Face) by Meadow_Wanderer | mature | 23k - WIP | +winterion/stuckony, betrayal, breakup, dubcon

He's sitting there on the carpeted floor with blood dripping down the back of his head, holding the battered red notebook with trembling hands. He looks up from the page and tries to blink away the scribbled words that won't seem to disappear from his eyesight. He can't breathe, can't get his throat to work properly because it feels like he's being strangled by the sheer truth of what he realizes now.

They knew. Oh god, they knew.

When Tony discovers a devastating secret, it will threaten to tear apart everything they hold dear.

Messages Worth Listening by Breyito | teen | 7k - WIP | ABO, mpreg, childloss, ANGST

Steve is going to realise in the worst possible way what happens when you let pride, rage and fear cloud your judgment. What happens when you don't listen.

Lines of Communication by cptxrogers | explicit | 4k | phone sex

“And you think you could take me, do you, Stark?”“I’d give it a good fucking try. I’d like to shove you into the nearest wall and wrap my hands around your damn neck.”“Oh yeah? And then what?”Post-CACW, a series of phone calls between Tony and Steve. 

Total: 38 fics

[tonystarktogo]

Can I ask for Tony Stark/Stephen Strange piece? Maybe after Civil War? Strange being really protective of Tony when the old Avengers arrive (back) at the compound. Especially Strange protecting Tony from mean and hurtful words/sneers from the team? Steve in particular, because Tony is kinda afraid of him after Siberia. Just some hurt/comfort with Tony and Strange, pretty please?

Well, since you asked so nicely ;) Fair warning though, I haven’t seen Doctor Strange yet so I mostly went with my impression of the actor from Sherlock. Hope you like it anyways! And just in case the prompt doesn’t make it obvious, this isn’t particularly Steve friendly and contains angst. 

“You’re not listening!” Steve accuses sharply, fire burning restlessly behind too blue eyes. It’s not the building frustration or the first beginnings of anger exactly but the tenor of unrelenting steel echoed in every syllable that causes Tony to freeze in his place.

It has happened before, ever since the exiled Avengers have returned on American soil again, if Tony’s honest. The fire that burns so bright and all-consuming in Steve hasn’t lost an ounce of its intensity during his time on the run and nowadays, with the entire world on the brick of a war it can’t afford to loose, it seems to be the only thing the resistance has left to draw strength from.

Everyone but Tony, that is.

Oh, he can still taste the fire of Steve’s willingness to fight, to win, on the tip of his tongue, can still feel the flames licking at his fingers, blazing hot but never burning. It’s not the same anymore though. Tony feels no warmth in those glistering flames, no all-encompassing heat in Steve’s every touch. There is no soothing hum in the back of his mind, no lulling sensation of being wrapped up in soft blankets and sipping hot chocolate in front of a crackling fire.

It used to be like that, Tony knows, although the memories become blurrier and more out-of-focus with every passing day. Sometimes, when he closes his eyes, Tony can almost feel them, a shadow of complete safety tickling along his nerve endings, gone a moment later, before he has the chance to grab a hold of it. 

Of course Tony keeps his eyes wide open all the time now, suit on call at any given moment. Not that it matters.

It doesn’t matter that he can’t bring himself to turn his back onto his own team. Doesn’t matter that sometimes he rubs his shoulders against the nearest wall until the skin is red and prickling, as raw as Tony feels.

Because Tony hasn’t been warm since Siberia. Hasn’t slept. Hasn’t smiled. Hasn’t breathed. And it doesn’t matter. There’s a war hammering against their door and no one can afford for it to matter.

Tony swallows. Does it a second time, hard enough to be borderline painful. Tries to gather his thoughts, to remember anything besides burning blue eyes staring him down, down, down. But it’s like the unforgiving cold Tony feels in the face of Steve’s burning fire has frozen his thoughts, crystallised them, beautiful in the most vulnerable way, and all it takes is a gentle puff of breath for them to shatter as Tony watches helplessly. It’s a pretty picture, thousands upon thousands of splinters of pure ice, glinting like diamonds in the early sunlight. Cutting just as easily, just as deep.

Steve as per usual is too caught up in it, the fight, because it’s always about the fight, isn’t it, to notice. Tony hasn’t thought he would still be bitter, could still get more bitter, but. Some wounds don’t heal, only fester, and the gap of words unspoken and mistakes unacknowledged between the two of them grows steadily.

“I’m serious, Stark!” Steve bellows, incensed perhaps by Tony’s lack of  attention or simply the entire situation. The Captain, never Cap, slaps both hands onto the table, causing the wood to creak in protest at its forceful handling and Tony’s thoughts just- give. Fracture. Shatter.

Torn metal. Cold stone. Wood ripped apart. A shield crushing everything.

“Enough!” a new voice speaks up, sharp and unyielding and it’s that wordless demand for attention that Tony clings to, allows him to rearrange his mind until the past is the past and the present the present and Tony here.

Strange stands in the room. Tony can’t remember when the guy entered but he’s somehow managed to place himself between Steve and Tony without actually blocking their sight of each other, his stern gaze fixated on Steve. His presence loosens some of the tension Tony hasn’t even realised has been building in his muscles.

“We need to become proactive now, whilst Thanos is still gathering his forces, not after the first attacks are already over!” Steve snaps, impatience curled so tightly around his frame it looks physically painful.

It’s all Tony can do not to flinch at the veiled accusations, the unspoken You’re not doing enough shadowing his every conversation with his former childhood idol. 

Something warm and surprisingly soft settles around his shoulders in an odd mimicry of a hug and Tony frowns down at the red fabric in confusion for a moment before he half-heartedly tries to shrug the damn thing off. Tony hates that stupid, magic coat Strange insists on wearing. The ugly, glorified doormat defies everything Tony believes in, and to add insult to injury it tends to cling to him like a shy toddler to its mother’s leg.

Tony refuses to acknowledge the indulging fondness he’s begun to associate with the stubborn coat, nor the gentle, comforting waves of warmth it makes him feel that have nothing on Steve’s blazing heat and are somehow all the more welcome because of it.

“And we’ve got a War Council where your input is valued and welcome at any given time,” Strange retorts calmly, clearly unimpressed by Steve’s argument and making no effort to hide it.

“That’s-“

“I said enough!” Strange interrupts, his voice growing colder even as the coat tightens its grip on Tony, as though wanting to cover him in his entity. “This is neither the place nor time for this discussion. Now leave, Rogers. You are not welcome here.”

Strange’s stony expression conveys clearly that he means every word he says and expects his command to be followed without protest. Steve lingers for another moment, fists clenched and lips pressed into a thin, white line, but Tony feels strangely untouched by the wave of rage the other man emits, huddled away in the thick, red coat as he is, before Steve turns on his heels and slams the door shut behind him.

A moment of silence follows, in which Tony simply allows himself to bask in something that’s not quite safety but still hits pretty damn close. When he looks up again, it’s to meet Strange’s ever watching eyes. They are blue but cold, in a way Steve’s could never be, and that in itself is more comforting than it should be.

“You need to stand up to them,” Strange says finally, but not unkindly. “They have as much power over you as you give them and that’s perhaps the only thing you’ll have any control over in the days to come.”

“I know,” Tony answers, the words hollow for all that they are true. Thankfully Strange lets the subject drop, instead steers the conversation towards an experiment Tony’s been needling the man to participate in.

Part of Tony is aware that Strange’s unusually chatty behaviour is probably an attempt at comfort, just as part of him knows very well that the man he’s gotten to know over the past few months doesn’t do comfort. Tony is tired though, wrung out in a way that has nothing to do with physical exhaustion, and for once he’s willing to accept the other man’s atypical actions without a demand for explanations or inappropriate jokes.

The walk to Tony’s workshop is comfortable. Strange stays by his side, cloak securely wrapped around Tony’s shoulders, and if the rest of the Avengers give the man a wide berth when they cross the pair’s path, Tony is too distracted by the intellectually stimulating conversation and pleasant, fluttery feeling in his chest to pay them any mind.

Yeah, that’s it. Maybe it wasn’t exactly fluffy comfort but it was comfort, so it counts, right? By the way, I hope you all made it safely into 2017!

[bucky-iss-bae]

Love Yourself (Stony) - Part 1

Hey Guysss, so here's Part 1 of my 3 Part Stony Fic. I think I found this the most difficult, character growth doesn't show as much as I wanted but I’m still learning hope you all enjoy xoxo 

Fandom: Marvel 

Pairing: Stony (Steve x Tony) 

Summary: After Civil War Tony and Steves relationship falls to pieces as do both Tony and Steve - A Loose Enemies to Friends to Lovers - Very Loose. 

Warnings: Angst, swearing, I think I made Steve look like a really bad guy and a prick. But I do love him. 

A/N: So this is the first multiple part fic that I’m posting, one of many xoxo 

Masterlist  Fandom List 

Love Yourself - Part One 

One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling completely alone and unwanted. Feeling like everything that’s happened is your fault, constantly trying to impress someone, someone you love, that someone being a guy that your father constantly talked about, constantly praised during your childhood. Trying to impress him, your father, anyone. But both of them ripped away from you by the same motherfucker.

It’s not like Tony tried to impress Steve constantly. He just didn’t want him to think he was that irresponsible conceited prick when they first met. But instead, he feels like he should have realized, loving yourself is far much better than letting someone else love you. That way you avoid getting hurt.

But of course, Tony feels like a dumbass. A dumbass that fell for the charming smile, the blue eyes that could just consumer anyone. The eyes that held so much emotion, power, love and it quickly moved on to pity. All of it changed as soon as the damaged Bucky Barnes was back.

So much bitterness and hate that was held towards Barnes. Even before he found out the Winter Soldier had killed Howard and Maria Stark. Killing the woman that Tony loved so much yet he held regret in his heard that he wasted his time, and instead dint show them as much love and respect he should’ve.

Tony hated him before this though. When all Steve could talk about was the good old days with Bucky. The good old days with his father. Holding more good memories of his father than he ever did.

Then let’s not forget how that man, the man that Tony wore his heart on his Steve for protected his best friend rather than his partner, the man who had planned out an extravagant yet quiet proposal. Not only protecting his best friend but also keeping the fact that Steve knew who killed Howard and Marie Stark. Steve knew whenever he spoke about Howard, whenever he spoke about Bucky.

It was almost like Bucky Barnes aim was to ruin Starks life. Taking anyone and everyone he had ever loved away from him. Initially, it was bitterness and jealousy that clouded Tony’s image of Bucky, but then as soon as the truth was out. As soon as Steve kept these secrets from Tony. As soon as they were revealed he realized the bitterness was called for which evolved into hate. Such a strong hatred.

Now Steve knows. Steve knows the hate that Tony has for them both. Especially Steve. But there’s a fine line between Hate and Love. The feeling of knowing that he had been betrayed by the man he envisioned to spend the rest of his life with. Being abandoned by the man he trusted with his life. And what he hates the most, is knowing that no matter how hard he tries, he’ll never be able to hate Steve. Not really.

But knowing that his nightmares are back because the only way they ever left was whilst he was in Steve’s arms at night. Comforted by him. All while Steve knew the truth behind everything. While Steve kept secrets to protect another man that he truly loves. But as soon as the secrets were released the nightmares were back, and this time they were so much worse, as all he could see was the man he loved with all his heart, fighting against him. Watching his retreating figure, another man in his arms leaving Tony for dead.

**

Everyone else had soon gotten over the events in Germany, the only one who was reserved was Tony. The only one who lost the most. Though he gained an apprentice of some sorts through Peter, he lost someone he truly loved. Someone he truly loves. The worst feeling was knowing they’re in the same building yet could be in separate universes.

As soon as Steve waltzed back into his life, a simple apology in a letter meant nothing. It couldn’t make up for anything. Yet Tony still kept the letter, read, and re-read the words wanting to know whether they came from Steves' heart, or whether he said them to keep the peace between them.

But in reality for Tony, the emotional trauma Steve left him with couldn’t be healed with a letter. Steve took Tony’s heart out of his chest, crushed it with his bare hands or better yet put the shield that Howard made and put it into the arc reactor.

“Tony” Natasha called walking into the lab that Tony rarely left. “You need to talk to him”

Tony scoffed before turning to Natasha, “Who? Barton? Yeah, I spoke to him. We’re good you know. And I actually made a friend out of all this, that little big guy, he knows his science. Could potentially offer him a job within the Stark Industry”

“You know who I’m on about” Natasha pushed walking towards Tony, “Steve’s upstairs right now. You should talk to him”

“I’ve got nothing to do with him,” Tony said whilst starting to fiddle with something else, “I would prefer to keep the space between us the way it is”

“This isn’t a good way to deal Tony. He’s just as broken as you are”

A grimace settled on Tony’s face as he looked at Natasha, “Right. Him and his precious Bucky. All broken together. Are you forgetting that part where his best friend killed my dad… or the part where he hid this from me whilst we were together… or maybe how he was looking for this guy whilst we were together, without telling me. Or here’s the icing on the cake, how he left me for dead fucking ripping my god damn heart out in the process.”

With each word Tony could feel himself getting angrier, the bitterness he’s been holding showing itself.

“He wants to talk. About everything. So much has changed but you’ve thrown yourself into your work. You only go out for publicity. Pepper… she’s even asked about you. You haven’t been sleeping, Tony”

“I’m well aware of that Natasha. Now please… can you leave” His voice cracked as she turned his back on her going back to what she was doing. He wasn’t sure if she was still there or not. But she spoke up a few moments later.

“At least come up to get some food. Eat a proper meal, then try to get some rest. Stop working for a while. Something Tony. You don’t look well”

“And you want me to go up there and show everyone this? Rather not thank you”

“Then I’ll bring some food down to you, then I’ll take you to your room”

“A meal before getting me into bed. Such a Lady aren’t you

“Only for you Stark” She smirked going upstairs.

Rather than Natasha coming down, it was Wanda.  

“Tony” Her thick accent drawled, “Your food.” She perched herself up on one of the benches the food beside her.

“Thank you” He muttered before picking at the food she set down, he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he started to eat.

“You don’t need to face anyone. But you need to sleep Tony. I know how bad nightmares of your past can be, I have my own. But I don’t know the pain you’re going through now, just know that I’ll try my best to be there for you”

Tony just nodded at what she was saying before changing the subject, “Who’s up there?”

“Both of them… if that’s what you’re asking. Bucky is recovering, he went under again, I’ll be looking into Bucky’s mind soon. They both live on the compound, Fury’s orders”

“There’s so much more to it than just that kid.”

“I don’t know if Natasha told you this… but Bucky… he also wants to talk to you. I know you don’t want to talk to him or Steve, but out of the two, Bucky would be easier to talk to.”

“Tell him, at my funeral, he’ll have the opportunity but until then he’ll just have to wait”

“Please don’t say things like that. Because then someone will have to send down Clint. Although this is the most you’ve spoken or eaten in a few days. I’m glad”

Despite it being difficult tony fought for Wanda to make sure she got home safely. Since then two gained a stronger relationship. They were family. She cared about him in a genuine way, because she remembers what it’s like to have family ripped away, and she knows when to hold onto all the family that you’ve got left. Even if the family was slightly dysfunctional and full of superheroes. They were still a family.

“Come on, let’s go upstairs. You should probably have a hot shower. Have some sleeping pills and try to get to sleep”

She left no room for an argument instead the A.I. shut everything down safely whilst the two went upstairs and successfully managed to avoid everyone. Wanda left some pills on the bedside table along with some water. And after his shower Tony took them, he was content, until he had an unwelcomed visitor.

The last time I had seen this man was once he was officially free. No eye contact made, nothing. Whenever he’s here I’m not. All I saw was a man I loved… maybe still love who knows if the feelings will ever leave me. But a man who broke my trust broke my heart and took me for everything I had, leaving only my father’s shield.

“Tony” He whispered staring at Tony. It had been so long. The last time Steve had seen Tony was when he left him on the ground walking away with Bucky.

“Leave. Now.” Tony growled out through gritted teeth.

“Please. We need to talk Tony… I... I miss you”

“You miss me? That’s funny. Should become a comedian. Now fuck off out of here”

Tony could feel his blood boiling. He was angry, but also in shock, it had been so long since he last saw him. He missed him. But it had been so long and the feeling of betrayal hit him fresh.

He hesitated before walking out of here. But the pain that caused Tony… seeing him, him being back in their shared room. The number of nights they spent in there together. For the first few weeks, nearly the first month Tony avoided the room like the plague until he realized that he didn’t want his life to be controlled by someone else.  

Tony felt like he couldn’t breathe. His chest was restricted and all he wanted was for Steve to be with him right now. No bad past, but instead he had to be strong, and realize that Steve Rogers would only be a work colleague at a push. An old friend of his dad’s. That’s it, no more, no less.