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grishaversecommunityyy · 4 years ago

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The Grishaverse Ship Survey Results

So! After all of that, we finally have the results! What is the general opinion on the ships in the Grishaverse? Well, that’s for you to read below! It’s actually pretty interesting and, while some parts make sense, there were definitely some parts which... surprised me... Anyway, onto the results!

Everything in this post can be split into:

The Grisha Trilogy

Six Of Crows Duology

The Nikolai Series

Shadow and Bone: TV Series

Most Enjoyed Ships

Least Enjoyed Ships

Crack Ships and Shipping Discourse

Notes from the Survey

(note from mod emily: i tried to bold all of fritz’ comments, but i might have missed a few! be aware there are two of us analysing here :))

The Grisha Trilogy

The first book series we asked about was, of course, the first chronologically: the Grisha Trilogy. The most popular ship, with 83% voters for this series selecting this, was Genya/David (Fritz was glad to hear that; Yes I am). This is likely due to the lack of alternate romantic interests in the series, which seems to be a major issue for Alina’s ships. It also seems to be one genuinely enjoyed by most fans, in contrast to Darkling/Alina and Mal/Alina (each around 30%) and Nikolai/Alina (just under 20%), for which I have definitely seen plenty of debate. The second and third most popular ships for this series were Tamar/Nadia (55%) and Nikolai/Zoya (47%). Interestingly, Genya/Alina (43%) and Zoya/Alina (30%) ranked surprisingly high, especially considering how few of my friends and associates I hear talking about them. Good for them!

Honourable mentions:

Alina/Sun (no doubt inspired by that crack fic I wrote a while back) (Still havent read that out of fear)

Alina alone (a common concept among those surveyed, though most mentioned it later)

Zoya/Genya or Alina/Zoya/Genya

Six Of Crows Duology

This series was a little less divided, I would say. Predictably, Kaz/Inej came out on top with a whopping 96% of voters (:relieved:), with Wylan/Jesper next (90%) and Nina/Matthias just after (83%). None of the others really came close, despite Nina/Inej gathering 35% of the votes and Colm/Aditi at 25% (yeah, I’m not sure why that was so popular on AO3 either, but nobody really has objections so I assume that’s why it amassed so many votes). As Six of Crows is decidedly less divisive about ships and doesn’t have such controversial ships (more on that later), it seems the fandom agrees with canon pairings and the votes are... pretty unanimous.

Honourable Mentions:

Jesper/Wylan/Kuwei

Polycrows (platonic or romantic)

Kaz/Inej/Nina

Whoever didn’t read the instruction about this being for only the book series and put Jesper/Milo. I will never escape.

The Nikolai Series

This one is a little harder for me because I actually haven’t read this... so over to Fritz for analysis! But first, the stats. At 85%, the most popular ship is Genya/David, followed by Zoya/Nikolai at 77%. Tamar/Nadia and Nina/Hanne draw at 61.5% and Nina/Matthias has 56% voters onboard. There’s no real honourable mentions for this one, sadly. Hello Fritz here! Read the books and very glad to see Genya/David as the top ship as it damn well should. Although still a bit surprising since its more of a side-arc of the two and only ties in with the importance of the story at a specific chapter that I feel like I don’t need to elaborate about, if you read Rule of Wolves. (I believe the popularity of the ship also sky-rocketed due to ROW) Following of course Zoya/Nikolai, the high ranking makes sense, it is the main ship and lets be honest they deserve it <3

I think the only really surprising thing about this is the high votes for Nina/Matthias since [SPOILERS CROOKED KINGDOM] he’s dead so I feel like people should move on from that. Nina/“Hanne” having not as high a ranking as I would’ve thought, but with Matthias still being in the frame I guess we shouldn’t be surprised either.

Shadow and Bone: TV Series

This one is really interesting, with the exclusive show watchers now taking part! We have 89% voting for Kaz/Inej, 76% for David/Genya, 71% for Matthias/Nina, 67% for Ivan/Fedyor (that’s a thing???-->Yeah they had a few somewhat sweet interactions in the background-->nvm i watched it you’re right fritz) and 62% for Mal/Alina. What’s really surprising is how high Malina is compared to Darklina, with Darkling/Alina at 36%. Who knows, maybe Fritz’ analysis can shed some light on this?

Yes yes Fritz to the rescue: First of all we have to see their interactions a little different from what we already knew of them by the end of episode 8. I still think it is a surprising number, since the Darkling in the show isn’t as nasty as he was in the books BUT over all his actions are now seen on TV. We all thought the deer antlers were a necklace amirite? Well no apparently not, the darkling used the worst kind of small science to fit Alinas collarbone to the bone and out comes a gruesome sight: a reason why many people might have started thinking: Wow what a disgusting person he is. And on the Malina “ship”: Mal finally has personality!! jkjk :eyes: Mals and Alinas friendship has been portrayed way better in the show and I believe that the people noticed more chemistry between them especially by the end of season 1. So I’m still a little surprised Darklina has such a low ranking (what with him being all sweet and cuddly in the middle of the show) but it makes sense and the Malina ship as well. Their vibes are just *chefs kiss* and thats coming from someone who didnt even like any of these “ships” <3

Loving the quotation marks for the word ‘ships’, Fritz. Over to the honourable mentions!

Honourable Mentions:

Jesper and Milo (isn’t milo a goat? guys, why?)

Nadia/Marie (huh that didn’t appear anywhere else)

One person had several - Kaz/Inej/Jesper, Dubrov/Mikhael, Dubrov/Mikhael/Mal - and yeah, you can really see the show differences in these mentions right? (whose dubrov...and whose mikhael...)

16% actually voted for Inej/Alina which is wild to me because of book context (they did have chemistry in the show tho :cowboi_smirk:)

Another person with several! We have Nina/Inej, Genya/Alina, Zoya/Alina, Zoya/Genya/Alina. Very sapphic. Good for you.

Kaz/Jesper and Nina/Inej all in one

That’s a lot of honour and mentions but it’s so interesting to me and I think you should see too

Most Enjoyed Ships

The most enjoyed ship was Kaz/Inej. This had unparalleled support, being at 35%. Jesper/Wylan, which was next on the list (23.5%) and Nina/Matthias (18%) were also pretty popular. Most of the others were quite low, though interestingly Mal/Alina only had 1 vote (plus one for the show version). Overall, the SoC ships were a lot more popular in this section, which makes sense - this part is really about your favourite ship, and those were more unanimous in the last sections.

Least Enjoyed Ships

Most people said Darkling/Alina, which got 47% of the NOTP votes. A lot more people disliked Darkling/Alina than liked Kaz/Inej. Make of that what you will, but I take it as a somewhat general agreement among many of you guys. Mal/Alina was also strongly disliked at 22%, but around a half or more of these were clarified to be about the book version of the ship specifically. They really must’ve upgraded in the show! Jesper/Kuwei and any other Darkling ships were also voted by a few, but all of these pale in comparison to the anti-Darklina votes. Shoutout to the person who said Apparat/Anyone. I agree, though it’s not something I thought of before seeing this response. Also one person said they didn’t like the poly ships, which I hope meant just the ones mentioned earlier and not all poly relationships in general... Another shoutout to whoever said Kaz/Heleen, because why did I have to read that. A fun question, all in all!

Crack Ships and Shipping Discourse

I love talking about crack ships, so let’s start with that! This time, I really don’t want to have to count and list because... well, let me show you:

I think that sums up the sheer variety, to be honest. Then again, it would be rude not to mention that the most popular were Jesper/Milo, Darkling/Nikolai and Alina/Sun. (If you’re still confused about that last one, I take full responsibility.)

YES KAZ/KRUGE I SUPPORT!!!

Honourable mention to this:

which was a lot to take in, and:

Now for the discourse. Yep, the part you probably came for.

Actually... maybe you didn’t? Looking at all of these responses, I see a lot of people genuinely don’t care about ship wars and so on, and often enjoyed the books regardless of the romances involved. Quite a few disapproved of the ongoing (though small) wars between Darklina and Malina, and others had a similar line of thinking, saying we should maybe stop focusing so much on it. You guys are right. I know this is a ship survey, and the conclusions should not include that shipping isn’t as important as we make it (Yes it should), but... that’s where it’s at.

And then again, a lot of you guys expressed disapproval for Darkling/Alina, discussing how it is often one-sided and manipulative and overall unhealthy, so I could be completely off with that last one. Some people mentioned that they ship this but as a slightly different version that the one given to us, recognising the flaws of the canon ship.

Someone said they headcanon Tolya as aroace (OMG YES!!). We need more aroace characters, so thank you for that headcanon :) We also have a few gay ships mentioned here, and one person telling us they love Malina. Yes, you’re right - it’s pretty unpopular, it turns out. Someone else said Alina should’ve been single, and I agree, actually!

One person rickrolled me here. Thankfully, Youtube’s ads saved me. *wipes forehead*

I leave you all with this, in the end:

Notes from the Survey

Statistics Stuff:

The top ships were taken from AO3, so some ships may be more focused on in other books and may not provide accurate statistics for an earlier series.

The main circles this was sent around may have had bias as most people are from the same discord server, which has debated these topics in the past. Hence certain ships may have lower-than-average results. In future, this could be improved upon by sending this to other servers and areas of the fandom.

Personal bias may be present in the analysis, though I have tried to minimise this in the more formal sections.

Observations and Notes from Me:

You guys really don’t like Darklina. Or you love it. Usually one or the other. Wow.

Be glad I didn’t talk about any of the cursed ships in this. The things I have seen... (:cowboi_eyes:)

I thought more people would rickroll me, ngl.

What Surprised You Guys:

Kaz/Inej/Jesper

A few of you guys saw some of those cursed ships, and that surprised you. Well, me too!

Nikolai ships being in the TV Show section at all, what with his character not being in the show (yeah what was up with that huh tztz)

Inej/Alina

The existence of The Severed Moon

Darkling/Nikolai(/Alina)

How fun the quiz was :D

Things You Sent Me:

Bee Movie copypasta

“Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!”, except via an AO3 link

A fun fact about enzymes! I liked this one

Fic recs for Feriku and Sarai (esp for Wylan/Jesper shippers)

Another rickroll

Nice compliments :) aww you guys

I asked everyone for some kind of placeholder name and never used it. Sorry! But hey, anonymity, right?

Closing Statements

If you got this far (I feel like ive been sitting here for hours), thanks for reading! This was fun to do and I hope you enjoyed all of this too! The survey is still open for anyone who hasn’t done it but wants to. If I get a huge amount of new responses, I might update this post! But for now, adios!

-mod emily (and mod fritz)

#grishaverse #fandom #shipping #shadow and bone #six of crows #nikolai series #king of scars #the grisha trilogy

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thethrillof · 3 years ago

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Hollow Knight time travel AU except characters go into the future instead of the past?

oh no.

(this bounced between headcanon and funky plot summary, as these things tend 2 do for me......)

let’s handwave this as an extremely mcfucked up experiment with soul and void with the pale royals trying to look into the most likely (and, they hoped, best) future way too hard.

everyone pretends not to panic while noticing everyone is panicking from the instant they notice what’s around them. they start from the white palace being gone to the void being uncomfortably barely-contained to, ofc, the entire dead hallownest thing. they try so badly to reason with the shambling infected guards and rich bugs they find once they get to the city, even though they know it probably won’t work...and then the white lady and the pale king absolutely blast those infected into ashes. for safety! and, to everyone else who were dragged along for the ride, exceptional trauma and grief that both are not letting themselves process.

lurien and monomon and the great knights, including hollow are probably there...

...but it’s too early for herrah, who has agreed and has placed her terms but hasn’t finished the deal completely.

this is a blow to hornet--who definitely noticed the terrifying white light that flashed through half the damn kingdom--and she is...not quite as helpful as she could be beyond tersely explaining the situation once she investigates. just there and gone again, watching as she did the little ghost from her webs above to see what happens. in particular, if the pale king fails and flees again.

“the situation” is solely the infection, the pure vessel’s failure, and everybody’s deaths. she does not explain much about herself and absolutely nothing about the fact that other vessels exist and there’s a strong one running around right now.

the pale king takes the hollow knight not being hollow badly, of course. because it’s terrible, the plan failed, and...he knew, on some level, but had been so deep in desperate denial and arrogance that he didn’t allow himself to think it through. tries to interrogate them but it goes nowhere b/c they’ve been acting hollow for so long they don’t know how to just stop--

--and they’re also horribly wrecked by the knowledge they failed and getting to see the ruins of the kingdom they were meant to protect before seeing the kingdom as it was living. they never left the white palace before, and would not gain the full knowledge of it until they were sealed within the Egg with the World Sense as a final gift. so for a long time they’re barely listening to more than the most direct orders, like “look at us” and things like that.

lurien wants to lock himself in his tower; monomon wants to go to the archives; neither of them do this because it is terribly dangerous to split up. this ratchets the tension up further. there is a lot of bickering that, again, everyone pretends is not bickering and is just discussion, because they are all too dignified and have more important things to be paying attention to for something so petty.

this doesn’t last, of course. they are reasonable enough not to storm off into the helltrap the caverns are, but everyone just gets fucking angry and starts flinging accusations at each other. and hollow. not the pale king because he’s the pale king and creator, and not the white lady because she is the queen and powerful, but quite frankly they’re both accusing themselves internally and every word flung at hollow is the same to the pale king as at himself.

dryya is defending the white lady as doubting the whole plan without quite saying so directly. ze’mer is incredibly loud and goes so far into her own language that nobody really knows what she’s saying. hegemol wants to go patrol the city and keeps nearly going off on his own anyway. ogrim and isma try to settle them down and fail.

(above, hornet is suddenly far less shocked in hindsight about everything going to shit for the kingdom. her childhood memories were maybe too steeped in nostalgia when she allowed herself to consider them.)

they do end up in the Watcher’s Tower just to get a better look in the city after all the arguing burns out for a bit (and calls infected their way). lurien suddenly doesn’t want to stay there anyway, since it’s wrecked and there are bodies of his loyal servants and also possibly his own self, dreaming. nobody learns anything of value and everyone just gets more upset! just what they all need amirite

the pale king decides the thing to do is to go to the temple of the black egg for a direct investigation. sort of in denial but mostly just floundering. the white palace is gone and so is his workshop. he knows only he could have done that. everything he ever built is gone, in fact. it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense, he’s latching onto something.

the theme of “everyone knows something is wrong but won’t directly call it out” continues! nobody else really has better to do. monomon is the most optimistic and tries to think of this as a chance to study the infection further, which she says aloud. she sees this as a chance to study the hollow knight as well, which she does not.

it’s not that hard to get through hallownest, all things considered. this seems like a good thing until the realization sets in: it’s only easy-ish (for these gods and knights) because most of the worst of it has passed. most of the potential threats died a long time ago.

quirrel! quirrel quirrel quirrel. he shows up at some point and it’s definitely freaky because he knows monomon but doesn’t, and this is somewhat stressful. on the flipside his lack of memory and having her mask unsettles everyone but her greatly.

he doesn’t come with them. instead, he wrangles a promise from monomon and the rest to meet him at the archives (once they talk a bit and he remembers where they are) later to talk things through properly. he’ll see the kingdom as it is before discussing memories of how it once was.

the little knight gets a heads-up from hornet when she sees them nearly crossing the path of the pale court’s remains. she warns them away, specifically, but it’s their choice, and they choose to go look at them. they’re not at the level of knowledge yet to fully understand the significance, only that there’s a bunch of non-infected and hornet not challenging them to battle, but speaking to them? warning them? must be a huge deal.

can’t say all hell breaks loose once they show up. really, everyone freezes. more guilt for the royals! various degrees of dawning horror for the rest.

hollow finally reacts, if only to step closer. they remember the little knight. oh, they remember.

the little knight does not remember them, but it doesn’t matter. familiar enough. and some answers, potentially, if they stick together now. so that’s what they do--once everyone starts moving again, the knight is there too, though they go off to wander fairly often.

the egg reveals nothing. watching the vessel reveals what they should have known already--impurity, or rather, that they are people.

they end up in dirtmouth, where people still live, and try to plan further there.

the knight basically abducts hollow to explore the kingdom with them anyway, after that takes a while. waiting is not giving them answers and hollow will listen to them as long as they aren’t given contradicting orders, and the pale king is suddenly unable to do that!

hollow gets to learn to be a person, in their own little ways. it’s not easy, but being away from the rest and with a vessel that expresses themselves in minor-but-genuine gestures helps immensely.

hornet shows up also for Sibling Bonding even if is not intentional on her part.

the future white lady is visited, eventually, and that goes rough. she’s glad to see the pale king and the rest, sure, but she can do little to help. it’s disturbing for everyone else to see how she’s bound herself, and dryya is extremely messed up by the fact she is dead and the white lady was unaware.

monomon and quirrel run the archives, sort of. quirrel tends to disappear for a while. monomon insists she’s fine with it. she’s not, but she’s certainly not going to discourage or stop him.

for the travelers, there’s no way home. the white palace’s tools are too important. all they can do is...rip their way into the Black Egg and end the Radiance. the pale king takes this upon himself, once this is apparent.

and once he bonds (barely) with the little knight, anyway, and they let him know about the dream nail. this takes a while, but not that long. the hollow knight of now still exists, and suffers, and they can be united in hating that if nothing else.

they take her down together.

the void drags them down together.

the pale king’s light and the knight’s power over void is enough to drag them back. the little knight, the king, the hollow knight of now and the not-pure vessel of then, and...

...there’s no running away. nothing else left to do. the kingdom is still dead, if not still rotting.

calling them a family is definitely incorrect! but all of them end up with a bond, and mostly choose to stay in dirtmouth, retrieving helpful things that still exist in hallownest and planning improvements to make it a better, bigger place to live. a good town, if nowhere near a kingdom. that’s for the best.

#vivifrage

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smallestclowninthecircus · 4 years ago

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Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

#tma notes #tma

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plasmasip · 4 years ago

Photo

AHA! And so we officially begin the intro of the Am I Worthy (of a) Legacy (?) off with several bangs. I’m still a bit ambivalent on the name, but I wanted to include the worthy wordplay in the legacy somehow so I hope it’s acceptable.

Anywhosies, as usual I simply had to make Francey Pants look even more pretentious upon starting everything off. He wasn’t in the mood to strut his super posh plaid pants ™ as it was raining, but that’s alright. It would’ve ruined his fresh Kavar Sun haircut, oh dear watcher.

Yeah so I’m not used to random fitness men coming in and yelling at me to work out, but it seems Frances was too busy to be bothered- dedicated scholar shit. I think it’s important to note that right before this a streaker bolted through Frances’ dorm.

Coach: YDSJHKYWIUHDKHDKJH GRRRR MOVE IT BUCKAROO!!! GET THAT BLOOD FLOWIN’ UJKLSHKJGS GRUMBLE GRUMBLE

Frances: Hrm, yes yes random intrusive coach- let me get right on that after I lock my damn doors, so about that term paper...

Guy: ^^

Frances: Oh how could I possibly be bothered by my (only) friend while I’m perfecting such a masterpiece... Sigh... It seems I must soon start thinking about my departure to class. It’s a tragedy my education is tearing us apart. See you later, dear magnificent painting.

And so class that evening was, well.. as expected, class. Not much to say about that. He made friends with some professors and promptly went to bed after making himself an unsatisfactory TV dinner.

The next day he rolls the want to purchase a flower bench which, at first, I forgot existed. Alongside that want, he also wanted to earn a talent badge so I started him on a bouquet. That’ll keep him company...... right?

That afternoon Jane walks by and the two exchange greetings and hang out by the pool, though the two don’t exactly hit it off.... fantastic. Here’s where the drama begins.

Jane: Nonono I’m gonna have to stop you right there aheh.. money isn’t my thing.

Frances: UGH! So you aren’t willing to hear about my investments, stocks, and other rich advancements? How preposterous of you, yuck! I simply cannot associate with you, no I can not!

About that streaker, he returned to thoroughly disgust Jane and the other townie cheerleader who hung around Frances’ pool. He decided it would be a good idea to start hula-ing around, again, thoroughly disgusting the girls.

Sir Nudist III: I heard you needed a dancer at your beach ;-3

Jane: This isn’t a beach, this is a pool! And it’s not public, scram sam.

So about Frances befriending some professors, Professor Jeannie Enriquez decided to call him in the middle of the day for whatever reason.

Frances: *Yawn* Oh yes, Professor Enriquez I’m still on the line. Oh do tell me about the jock incident on campus this morning.... You’ve aroused my curiosity....

Semester crunching is not one of Frances’ many skills, as we see here.

Frances: How in the ever-loving SHIT am I supposed to get ALL of this done by 1 AM? Who, with a stable mentality, thought such a time would be fit for a final exam? Dear me, I’m going to pop a blood vessel in my head.

Well well well! Lookie here! Frances’ locked want was to snag a spot on the Dean’s List and he also wanted to earn §100- two birds with one stone amirite? Sweet success, nothing less achieved from a Worthington. His exceptional work certainly didn’t disappoint his aspiration meter either hubba hubba ;-)

Frances: If I had a breakdown over final exam prep. I don’t have breakdowns over final exam prep bc I did. No I didn’t ❤️

So I’d say that concludes the first semester of freshman year, I installed a shorter uni mod after this because god knows I don’t have the patience to play through 72 simhours a semester. I have to keep reminding myself this isn’t even the beginning of the actual legacy, I can’t even imagine how that’ll start. Until then... ;-o

#props to me for the ridiculous name #yes it was a shower thought #i thought that was obvious #the sims 2 #sims 2 #ts2 #worthy legacy intro #(am i worthy of a) legacy #worthy legacy #frances j worthington iii #premades #premadeacy #premade legacy #la fiesta tech #strangetown #jane stacks #guy wrightley

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asbraveasrobb · 7 years ago

Note

Can you point out more parallels between House Stark/the North and House Martell/Dorne, please??

Let me count the ways…

Between the North and Dorne, well let’s start with the obvious WOIAF passage:

Archmaester Brude, who was born and raised in the shadow city that huddles beneath the crumbling walls of Sunspear, once famously observed that Dorne has more in common with the distant North than either does with the realms that lie between them. “One is hot and one is cold, yet these ancient kingdoms of sand and snow are set apart from the rest of Westeros by history, culture, and tradition. Both are thinly peopled, compared to the lands betwixt. Both cling stubbornly to their own laws and their own traditions. Neither was ever truly conquered by the dragons. The King in the North accepted Aegon Targaryen as his overlord peaceably, whilst Dorne resisted the might of the Targaryens valiantly for almost two hundred years, before finally submitting to the Iron Throne through marriage. Dornishmen and Northmen alike are derided as savages by the ignorant of the five ‘civilized’ kingdoms, and celebrated for their valor by those who have crossed swords with them.”

Unity and Identity

To be noted is this idea of being “other.” The North has the blood of the First Men and their strange, savage gods and Dorne has the blood of the Rhoynar and all the seemingly strange customs that go with that. Because of this “othering,” Dorne and the North have a sense of unity that the other kingdoms lack. We see this in Dorne refusing to kneel to foreign invaders, no Dornish lords betraying Sunspear even after the Targaryens tried to turn them against their liege, and when they are conquered the smallfolk of Dorne rise up in resistance. In the North, we see this in Greatjon Umber’s speech that “Why should they rule over me and mine, from some flowery seat in Highgarden or Dorne? What do they know of the Wall or the wolfswood or the barrows of the First Men? Even their gods are wrong.” We see it in Tyrion knowing even as an outsider that the Lord of Winterfell would always be a Stark, we see it in the Mountain Clans risking all to save “the Ned’s little girl.” As we hear a hundred times, there must always be a Stark in Winterfell. I think a key difference in their sense of unity is that in the North the lords will only bend a knee to the Starks but in Dorne the high and low will only bend their knee to a Dornishman. Dorne has a strong patriotism and national identity that high and low sacrificed thousands of lives to keep. Smallfolk of the North are loyal to the Starks because the Starks protect them during winter. But there is not nearly as strong patriotism for “the North.” Firstly, when Torrhen Stark surrenders to Aegon the Conqueror, the smallfolk do not rise in anger the way the smallfolk of Dorne do after the Submission of Sunspear. Secondly, Dorne is the only kingdom in Westeros that has a true name. “The North,” is not the name of a country. North of what? That puts their identity as related to another land. Dorne does not call itself “the South.” Dorne is a country, so Dorne must have a name.

Even where there is disunity, Dorne and the North compare. House Bolton and House Yronwood—the vassals that were once kings of great power. House Bolton rebelled against the Kings of Winterfell and most recently…ya know…stabbed one and took his castle. House Yronwood fought against their Martell overlords in three of the Blackfyre rebellions. Many of the great houses have a powerful vassal who gives them pause, but only the Starks of Winterfell and the Martells of Sunspear have a rival within their realm with a turbulent history for centuries before Aegon’s Conquest.

Outsiders

As Meria Martell said, “This is Dorne. You are not wanted here.” That…that about sums it up. Both kingdoms have just one skinny border. Because of this, both the Northerners and Dornishmen express the idea of fighting better on their own soil, notably Moat Cailin or the Prince’s Pass and Boneway. It’s damn hard to get into either kingdom, and when you do…

You are not wanted. We see this in the POV’s of outsiders:

He remembered their godswood; the tall sentinels armored in their grey-green needles, the great oaks, the hawthorn and ash and soldier pines, and at the center the heart tree standing like some pale giant frozen in time. He could almost smell the place, earthy and brooding, the smell of centuries, and he remembered how dark the wood had been even by day. That wood was Winterfell. It was the north. I never felt so out of place as I did when I walked there, so much an unwelcome intruder. He wondered if the Greyjoys would feel it too. The castle might well be theirs, but never that godswood. Not in a year, or ten, or fifty.

A Clash of Kings, Tyrion XI

This place is strange to him, and little to his liking. Hotah could understand that. Dorne had seemed a queer place to him as well when first he came here with his own princess, many years ago. The bearded priests had drilled him on the Common Speech of Westeros before they sent him forth, but the Dornishmen all spoke too quickly for him to understand. Dornish women were lewd, Dornish wine was sour, and Dornish food was full of queer hot spices. And the Dornish sun was hotter than the pale, wan sun of Norvos, glaring down from a blue sky day after day.

A Dance with Dragons, The Watcher

Ser Arys Oakheart pulled up his hood to cover his face. It would not do for him to be recognized. A fortnight past, a trader had been butchered in the shadow city, a harmless man who’d come to Dorne for fruit and found death instead of dates. His only crime was being from King’s Landing.

A Feast for Crows, The Soiled Knight (smallfolk loyalty, amirite?)

Which brings us to the Lady of Winterfell and the Lady of Sunspear, Catelyn and Mellario, who I talk about more here. Both wed to great lords for many years, both loved them, both bore them children, both always felt as outsiders. Catelyn wed a stranger and found love, Mellario wed her love and found a stranger. Because they did not just wed a man, the wed a land, a land that felt strange and queer to them.

When I first came to Winterfell, I was hurt whenever Ned went to the godswood to sit beneath his heart tree. Part of his soul was in that tree, I knew, a part I would never share. Yet without that part, I soon realized, he would not have been Ned. Jeyne, child, you have wed the north, as I did …

A Storm of Swords, Catelyn III

Robert’s Rebellion to Present

The previous generation of House Stark and House Martell have similarities in plot, character, and themes. Unfortunately, we do not have as much information about the Princes of Sunspear during Robert’s Rebellion as we do about Ned.

Elia and Lyanna

One woman, one girl, two lives that impacted their brothers so much, two deaths that their brothers never forgot. Because they are dead before AGOT, we know very little about their personalities, but what we do know seem all at odds. Sweet and gentle Elia, bold and brash Lyanna. AGOT opens the narrative of Robert’s Rebellion as a war between Rhaegar and Robert over Lyanna. Obviously there is more to it, the rights of lords, broken feudal contracts, etc, but if House Martell and House Stark have anything in common it is the bond of familial love. Elia and Lyanna were both a “princess in the tower” and their brothers were fighting to save them from their imprisonment. Elia and Lyanna’s most poignant similarity? They were both abandoned by Rhaegar. Elia was left in King’s Landing as a hostage to Rhaegar’s notoriously racist and unstable father, and Lyanna was left in the Tower of Joy. They both were powerless, striped of whatever agency they might have once had, and dead before their time.

I assume that Lyanna went willingly with Rhaegar, whether for love or freedom or a combination of both, we do not know. If she went willingly, that means she ran off with Rhaegar and Arthur Dayne and Oswell Whent. And later, she watched the latter two try to kill her brother. Elia came to King’s Landing as the wife of the Prince of Dragonstone, and mother to his heir, yet when Rhaegar left she fell from princess to hostage. Another tragedy of similar style: both Elia and Lyanna watched their guardians turn to gaolers.

And so Elia and Lyanna are the bookends of Robert’s Rebellion. Elia in King’s Landing watches Brandon Stark ride in and demand justice for his sister, not knowing that her own hotheaded brother would do the same fifteen years later. Elia is present in King’s Landing for the first death of the rebellion, and Lyanna is there for the last.

Ned and Doran

Superficially, the basic gist of their brothers’ personalities appear similar: Brandon and Oberyn are hotheaded, rash, bloodthirsty, lustful, and bold while Ned and Doran are quiet, temperate, and patient. But if we delve a little deeper into the latter two…

Innocents

Ned and Doran have a concern for the innocent that is (unfortunately) atypical in Westerosi lords. We see that all the Stark children have learned from their father that “a good lord protects his people.” Doran similarly expresses to his own daughter that “it is an easy thing for a prince to call the spears, but in the end the children pay the price. For their sake, the wise prince will wage no war without good cause, nor any war he cannot hope to win.”

And we see that these mindsets are not just individual to Ned and Doran, they are institutional, with the construction of the Water Gardens and the use of Winterfell during winter to preserve thousands of smallfolk.

In the end, the children pay the price. Which brings us to…

Rhaenys and Aegon

Lyanna’s death meant nothing to Doran and Oberyn, and Elia’s death meant nothing to Ned. But Rhaenys and Aegon, the death of innocent children was an injustice that no one cared about, no one mentioned, no one was punished for. Why, the only people who could not get over it were Doran, Oberyn, and Ned. These deaths and the lack of justice leads to Doran and Oberyn becoming disloyal to the throne and plotting against all responsible, and it drove a wedge between Ned and Robert that causes Ned to keep his own secret from Robert, the greatest and most terrible secret. Jon.

Secrets

Promise me, Ned, Lyanna once pleaded. And so Ned promised her. He took Jon as his own, and he never told a soul, not even Catelyn who he came to love or Jon who desperately wanted answers.

Some secrets are safer kept hidden. Some secrets are too dangerous to share, even with those you love and trust.

A Game of Thrones, Eddard VIII

Eddard cannot forget the murders of Rhaenys and Aegon no matter how hard he tries, and when Robert plans to murder Daenerys Ned is once again reminded of Robert’s darker side. And so Ned sacrifices his honor. He sacrifices his wife’s and child’s happiness. He sacrifices all for the shade of his beloved sister. Wait…this sounds familiar…

The old knight read the pact slowly. “If Robert had known of this, he would have smashed Sunspear as he once smashed Pyke, and claimed the heads of Prince Doran and the Red Viper … and like as not, the head of this Dornish princess too.”“No doubt that was why Prince Doran chose to keep the pact a secret,” suggested Daenerys.

A Dance with Dragons, Daenerys VII

Themes

Grief

She had lived too long, and Ned was waiting.

A Storm of Swords, Catelyn VII

These books are all filled with grief, but something about Catelyn’s grief in the novels stuck with me. It was hopeless, it was one by one losing everything and trying to just roll over and give up. It was this old, worn out, lived too long type grief. It was losing the people who you were never supposed to lose. It was trying not to be consumed because people depend on you. Catelyn’s grief was losing her children until only Robb remained to her, but he had lost all his childhood as well. And then her POV ended.

But the grief returned, manifested somewhere new.

“I was the oldest,” the prince said, “and yet I am the last. After Mors and Olyvar died in their cradles, I gave up hope of brothers. I was nine when Elia came, a squire in service at Salt Shore. When the raven arrived with word that my mother had been brought to bed a month too soon, I was old enough to understand that meant the child would not live. Even when Lord Gargalen told me that I had a sister, I assured him that she must shortly die. Yet she lived, by the Mother’s mercy. And a year later Oberyn arrived, squalling and kicking. I was a man grown when they were playing in these pools. Yet here I sit, and they are gone.”

A Feast for Crows, The Captain of the Guards

And we see a man still grieving for his sister after fifteen years, now fresh in the grief of his beloved brother. And we watch Areo Hotah stand guard over this sad, silent man, not privy to his thoughts like we were Catelyn’s. But we soon see those thoughts parallel beyond their grief.

Desire for peace vs. desire for justice

Both Catelyn and Doran share a similar thematic storyline as their grief unfolds and they are faced with conflicting desires: desire for peace vs. desire for justice. They both feel a great duty to defend their people. For Catelyn, this is her family. For Doran, it is Dorne; it is the children in the pools. And yet…they want justice and justice is not given easily. This conflict is central to their characters; it has caused Doran to not fight any war he cannot win. It leads Catelyn to choose the hope of her daughters over justice against Jaime Lannister.

“Oberyn wanted vengeance for Elia. Now the three of you want vengeance for him. I have four daughters, I remind you. Your sisters. My Elia is fourteen, almost a woman. Obella is twelve, on the brink of maidenhood. They worship you, as Dorea and Loreza worship them. If you should die, must El and Obella seek vengeance for you, then Dorea and Loree for them? Is that how it goes, round and round forever? I ask again, where does it end?” Ellaria Sand laid her hand on the Mountain’s head. “I saw your father die. Here is his killer. Can I take a skull to bed with me, to give me comfort in the night? Will it make me laugh, write me songs, care for me when I am old and sick?”

A Dance with Dragons, The Watcher

The Greatjon bellowed his approval, and other men added their voices, shouting and drawing swords and pounding their fists on the table. Catelyn waited until they had quieted. “My lords,” she said then, “Lord Eddard was your liege, but I shared his bed and bore his children. Do you think I love him any less than you?” Her voice almost broke with her grief, but Catelyn took a long breath and steadied herself. “Robb, if that sword could bring him back, I should never let you sheathe it until Ned stood at my side once more … but he is gone, and a hundred Whispering Woods will not change that. Ned is gone, and Daryn Hornwood, and Lord Karstark’s valiant sons, and many other good men besides, and none of them will return to us. Must we have more deaths still?”

A Game of Thrones, Catelyn XI

Catelyn and Ellaria are pleading for peace instead of getting caught in a cycle of vengeance. House Stark’s and House Martell’s desire for justice is very similar—it is not good enough that someone dies for it. They want to make it does not happen again. For Robb and the North, that meant declaring independence. For the Martells, we see it in Oberyn coming to King’s Landing to publically condemn Tywin and Ser Gregor. When Robb and his lords are faced with the prospect of peace, its not Brynden Tully’s warning that they could never trust a peace with Tywin anyways that makes them keep fighting. It is the idea of dying in vain and the desire to make death have meaning.

“What did Torrhen and my Eddard die for, if I am to return to Karhold with nothing but their bones?” asked Rickard Karstark.

“Aye,” said Lord Bracken. “Gregor Clegane laid waste to my fields, slaughtered my smallfolk, and left Stone Hedge a smoking ruin. Am I now to bend the knee to the ones who sent him? What have we fought for, if we are to put all back as it was before?”

A Game of Thrones, Catelyn XI

This sentiment to pursue the course in order to make life have meaning is found again in Quentyn’s storyline. But Quentyn is reminded, “Men’s lives have meaning, not their deaths.” Yet it still remains to be seen if that lesson died with him, and if Quentyn’s futile death becomes something Doran must give meaning.

As we know, Robb did not listen to Catelyn…but will Doran listen to Ellaria?

Secret princes: Jon Snow and Young Griff

(So help me if someone says the two Aegons…)

Not only do Doran and Ned have their secrets, they have their secret princes as well. The last remnant of lost sister. As of TWOW, Young Griff has reached out to his supposed Uncle for aid. Young Griff as a character is a foil for Jon, the two secret princes, one oblivious of his heritage and forging his own path, the other oblivious to his heritage and that he is only a mummer’s dragon on another’s strings. And it’s hinted that Aegon will meet his maker quite soon (most likely at the hands of Dany). Whether or not Dorne throws its lot in with him remains to be seen, but the fact of it is that Jon is the “true secret prince” we will naturally root for simply because the narrative introduced him in AGOT and not ADWD, just as the Martells were not introduced until ASOS. And that is the greatest and saddest distinction between these thematically very similar house storylines: the Martells were not given their own version of “The wolves will come again.”

#asoiaf meta #house stark #house martell #ned stark #catelyn stark #doran martell #oberyn martell #lyanna stark #elia martell #brandon stark #my meta #Anonymous #abar replies #i feel like i have more to say about honor and tradition but i would need to do some worldbook research #long under the cut

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outwardjourneywithin · 8 years ago

Text

Week 2 - Getting Fucked Up at a Children’s Birthday Party

28/02/17

"I love this country! Everywhere I go I get drunk!"

My uncle remembers me screaming these words 7 years ago at his bucks night. All his friends remember too. I don't.

I always knew I had an inclination to kind of take it too far and make a mess of myself at parties (because it's funny, and funny is fun). It's also stressful at times too, I wonder if I'm making too much of a mess of myself, I start to think too much, get deep inside my head. Self doubt starts creeping in and then gushing through. Consuming me, prompting me to just sit still, say nothing, do nothing, do not even try, a single thing. Ever. I just sit and shut up.

The other night was one such example of me exhibiting that sort of behaviour. Getting messy at a small child's birthday is a wildly inappropriate atmosphere for embarrassments to occur. The party started at 5pm, as an always punctual individual (to important events) I arrived at 5:02pm. I figured a child's birthday isn't the sort of place where you arrive fashionably late. Evidently I was wrong. Nobody else was there, not even my uncle yet and it was his child's birthday. My aunty was frantically running around the kitchen slicing up wraps for nibblies. She was frazzled but smiling and welcoming.

My two baby cousins were blonde haired blue eyed little watchers. The youngest was almost three and eldest - the birthday boy - was five. They stared up at me in mesmerised confusion. Another new addition to the ever increasing boundaries of their world. They accepted me to into their new reality and went on with their day. I gave my cousin his little bag of goodies. The bag consisted of two colouring books and some chocolates. I wanted to get him crayons but couldn't find them. I tried probably ten different shops, even the shop attendants didn't know where I could get some.

Slowly, more people started filtering through. I nervously sort of poddled around. I didn't know the language well enough to engage fully, but I could throw in a comment or two when somebody directly spoke to me.

I had some champagne and when it finished Dorota (my aunty) asked me, "so next, beer or vodka?". In my head I thought, 'surely not vodka, you can't do shots at a 5 year old's birthday. You don't get white girl wasted, at a baby's birthday.'

Well I was wrong. I had a lot to learn about my culture, family and what happens at family events. I asked Dorota for a beer, she laughed thinking I was joking, poured two shots of vodka and gave one to me. We cheers'd, drained them, and only after I got my beer . Just like I said 7 years ago, everywhere I go in this country, I get wasted. What a country, what a family!

After that my tongue was lubed up good. I could have comfortably spoken to anyone from any country with any language. I had so much to say and so much to drink in.

Fortunately though I got to wag it in my native language. I engaged with the only English speaking person at the party. She was a woman in her late 30s, wife of a diplomat, and spent the last 7 years living in Geneva.

She spoke English well and was an intellectual. Kind eyes and a warm personality, she probably went to events all the time where she had to meet people. It was very easy to talk to her, and it was so exciting to finally talk to someone in English. Giving myself a bit of validation, remembering that in my own tongue, I do have a lot to say.

I started to think two things. The first was, 'How does Lukasz, who is a loose cannon, whose friends are all loose cannons, have a friend like this woman? She is unlike any of his other friends who are all big drinkers and blue collar.’ I found out later that she knows Lukasz from pre school. Her son and Stefan became friends, that's how she was invited to the party.

My second thought was, 'I wonder if I can have sex with her?" I also wondered what sort of faces she would make while we were having sex, the sort of positions we would have sex in, what she looks like naked, etc. etc.

I didn't even know her name at this point. What triggered the sex thoughts was the fact that her son would intermittently interrupt our conversation to run in and ask her for something. A glass of water, or for her attention for a moment. She started to get frustrated at these intrusions. I thought, 'she must be getting annoyed because she also wants to have sex with me, and her son is cramping her game.'

25 year old men amirite? In reality she was probably thinking, 'I am in the middle of a damn conversation, give me space for 15 damn minutes.'

Eventually the child dragged her away for good. We didn't re-engage in our conversation and she left without saying goodbye.

I kind of dobbled about a bit more, mostly left in the dark with most interactions. I sat next to my grandfather's girlfriend. She was a very chatty woman with a lot of stories, I found it hard to believe them though.

She was telling me about how she's always being interviewed on the news for her opinion regarding the current political climate. Shen then showed me pictures of her in some eccentric fashions that she wears in the street, getting all this attention. While she was showing me these fashionista photos my grandpa yelled out to her, 'show him the strip tease photos!' I said that I think those photos are just for grandpa. She told me about how she writes to politicians and they listen to her. She writes to them all the time, and because they respect her opinion so much, they write back to her. Grandpa again interjected and said, 'she wrote to Putin once too.' I then enquired, 'Did Putin write back to you?' Apparently he did, and he was a bit abrupt in his response. According to her, his response was confirmation that he is a poor leader. Because he tells the people of Russia what they want, he doesn't ask the people what they need.

I was torn away from this conversation when my uncle popped his head into the living room and said he needed to see me. I followed him into the kitchen, where his friend greets me with a big fat joint. I get asked if I want some and say No. But then easily get goaded into agreeing.

It always happens this way. Whenever I drink I always get offered weed, my initial reaction is no, then suddenly I am obliging.

I know why I don't want weed, it's because when I smoke, I introvert hard. I just want to sit by myself, not engage with anybody. I also know why I always agree to smoke a bit in the end. It's because I know what happens to me when I get drunk. It's boring and predictable and at 25, i've done it hundreds of times. However the phenomena of mixing weed and alcohol is still a confusing mess to me, so I do it to try work it out and see what happens.

So there I am, in the basement of my uncle's house, next to three strangers, sharing a polish doob. The conversation is well lubricated and relaxed. I take just two tokes, hoping that's enough to tip my sobriety off balance but not careen me into the black introverted state. Two of my companions are also happy with just two tokes, and the third demolishes the rest of the jumbo doob.

We hobble back up stairs in unison. Too high to co-ordinate a staggered rebirth into the party. The smart move which would deflect suspicion from what we just did. This staircase is right next to the kitchen where everybody is talking. A dozen people watch us re-enter the party. They laugh and shout about the smell that enters the room, question us as to why four of us had to go downstairs together.

"There was a queue for the upstairs bathroom," says one of my basement brethren.

I didn't realise it straight away, but I got very fucking high.\

My hands were doing that, 'holy fuck look at my hands' thing. I felt like an alien (common side-effect when I get high). I felt like everybody knows, I didn't know how I was supposed to stand, I didn't know where to go, I didn't know what was normal at all, everything was a confusing mess. All the while I was still at a 5 year old's birthday.

Post this, It's a bit of an unexciting haze. The party wrapped up without any real interesting or embarrassing incident. I think I was also to drunk and high to remember what happened. I was so messed up I didn’t even think about sex. I couldn't really talk to anyone because the language barrier was still there and my capacity to overcome it was totally compromised. I do remember that my aunty - who is approaching 40 - agreed to come with me to Woodstock. She's never been to a festival so I am super excited about her coming. But she may have just said this because I was messed up and thought I wouldn't follow her up on it.

But I will. I'm going to Woodstock 2017, really hope she is too.

Afterwards I got too drunk to drink anymore. It was almost 2am, nobody was left but my uncle and me. We chatted for a little bit, not long. Dorota yelled at him from upstairs and suddenly it was time for the party to be over. So I arranged an uber, got taken home to babcia's, and went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning hungover as fuck. It was a sickly hangover where I wanted to vomit for the first 3 hours of consciousness. I never thought that the morning after a 5 year old's birthday I would have such a vicious hangover, let alone a hangover at all.

That's the point of travelling though, experiencing things you never thought you would.

#journal #travel #alcohol #drinking #experience

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