#damn i wanna get back on my liliana blog

[wifelinkmtg]

gotta get back. back to the present samurai jesent

*wh-cha*

I am ten goddamn sets behind but I have to catch up because we’re almost back to The Horniest Goddamn Plane In All Of Magic Canon (that’d be New Phyrexia, babes!) and if I don’t cover that in uncomfortable detail, then what was this blog even for? We got some ground to cover, so let’s get going.

CORE SET 2021

Good news! Unlike Core Set 2020, this one isn’t a complete wash!

Indulging Patrician (art by Miranda Meeks)

Meeks giving vampire-fuckers exactly what they want here. Rose-tinted diaphanous silks & equally-diaphanous bats, the delicate damask patterns, the bridal carry, the victim’s languid pose, the collarbones, the blood - but for me, it’s the contrast between the vampire’s self-possessed hauteur and the trickle of blood down her throat that really makes this work.

Liliana, Waker of the Dead (art by Anna Steinbauer)

Liliana almost always makes the list, of course, but usually she gets here through raw displays of power and dominance. Steinbauer’s taken a different tack here, though, constructing this pastoral idyll centered around Liliana as a Gothic heroine. Is that sharp-edged pensiveness hesitation? Regret? Whatever it is, it’s a vulnerability we don’t usually get to see with her. This is easily, easily my favorite Liliana. It’s also about forty percent more Audrey Hepburn than typical, which. Yeah, that works for me.

KALDHEIM

man i just really do not care for the art direction in Kaldheim if I’m being honest. “viking plane” has a lot of potential and most of the art here is well-executed i just can’t help but feeling like the briefs the artists were given were kind of half-assed. like they have gods of DEATH and FEAR and they just look like whole foods hipsters. still, though! couple of hot valkyries.

Eradicator Valkyrie (art by Tyler Jacobson)

You really have to appreciate when someone just fully commits to a vibe. She could have stopped with the corpse paint and the black and gold everything but she went that extra mile for the blue flame wings and the smoldering pillar of the damned.

Youthful Valkyrie (art by Anna Steinbauer)

Yeahhhhh, I knew I could count on Steinbauer to deliver something ineffably sapphic. Hot, broody warrior angel fits the bill. Thank you for your service as always, ma’am.

HONORABLE MENTION: Jorn, God of Winter (art by Magali Villeneuve)

I gotta give credit where credit is due: in one of the drier sets in a very neutered Magic the Gathering era, Villeneuve has made a god who one million percent fucks. This rules.

STRIXHAVEN: SCHOOL OF MAGES

You know, I figured there’d be more candidates at wizard college, if for no other reason than there’d be more girls with glasses - but no, not even Goth Entomologist House OR Bitchy Poet Vampire House produced a single hit between the two of them. Here’s what we do get:

Professor Onyx (art by Kieran Yanner)

Liliana Vess: MILF professor version. I don’t need to say more than this, the scenario writes itself. Still, I do wanna pause and note the shoulder battlements. This is a woman who knows the value of fortifying gun emplacements, by which, yes, I do mean her tits.

Dragonsguard Elite (art by David Rapoza)

Oh yeah this is genuinely horny. Big owl glasses, perfect facial features, picturesque windblown hair, a dramatic display of power, those curves. I’ve really missed art that manages to be self-indulgent but not boring. More of this!

ADVENTURES IN THE FORGOTTEN REALMS

I have a great deal of resentment about the D&D crossover sets in terms of flavor. You can’t make Lolth, Zariel, and Mordenkainen planeswalkers in Magic canon and then be like oh well but no not really it’s not like they can go to Ravnica or something like that. Motherfucker then they’re not planeswalkers! You didn’t even bother to make Lolth hot! That was a fucking slam dunk! Three different D&D sets and you didn’t even include a single marilith!

I could keep going, at great length, but instead I’m choosing to be responsible and talk about the hot girls.

Ingenious Smith (art by Nicholas Elias)

I’m going to confess to spending an unspecified-but-lesbian amount of time watching Simone Giertz build weird shit on youtube. This scratches that same primal dyke itch of wanting to watch a clever, funny woman make something with her hands, but with bigger biceps.

Djinni Windseer (art by Livia Prima)

Look, man, sometimes what you want is a hot blue lady in a tornado.

Kalain, Reclusive Painter (art by Justine Cruz)

Cruz is almost a complete newcomer to Magic the Gathering here, which is really impressive because Kalain is the clear stand-out of this set. I personally wouldn’t choose to paint in my finest red doublet, but obviously this is a deficiency in my commitment to the Byronic artist Aesthetic. Obviously I don’t glower intensely enough. Obviously I don’t dress enough like a mildly-genderfluid Prussian vampire. Rest assured Kalain will be making none of these rookie mistakes!

I genuinely have so much gender envy about Kalain, holy shit.

OKAY progress made. This was the tail end of the drought. We got two Innistrad sets next, and whatever else you wanna say about those sets, I’m pretty sure we get more hits in even just one of them than we did in the four sets covered here together. Next time we got: girls accessorizing with bones, girls accessorizing with snakes, Hot Crossbow Autumn, woman laughing alone with shovel, dog mom, and so, so many vampires.

[writtenbyliliana]

I’m impatient so I’m answering all of these rn... sorry to those who don’t care lol

Hello newcomers tho~!

Okay let’s do this *cracks knuckles*

1) Lilian Rose Marcella DeReu

2) Capricorn (why does everyone hate us? We’re bossy, sure, but it’s only cuz we know best lol)

3) thunder & lightening, going back to being suicidal, and the ocean (tho it’s super pretty a magestic, it terrifies me)

4) knowledge/learning, frogs, and memes (especially frog memes)

5) the ability to hold a deep conversation, the ability to be both silly and serious on separate and appropriate occasions, butts, and beards

6) being rude to waiters, people that spit in public (like stop that’s nasty af), people that shame others for having mental illnesses or other disabilities (this includes learning disabilities, racists/homophobes

7) myself or my sister (too many issues with other people rn to claim someone to be my best friend)

8) bisexual/pansexual and I think I’m gender fluid or at least androgynous or non binary (I’ve been contemplating all of this since I was 10 and yet I’m still confused somehow)

9) I went to a farmers market with my first love (who turned out to be fake but whatever)

10) I’m only 4’9” :((( (but good things come in small packages lol)

11) I miss the lavender festive a farm would put on in Skaneateles, NY (they had the best honey and lavender flavored sweets ever!!!)

12) I was either born at 5:30 am or pm (no one remembers which it was lol)

13) either lavender or sanguine

14) hell yeah I have a crush but I dunno what to do about it (they’re super cool and cute and we’ve been talking a lot recently but I dunno how to make a move aah help!)

15) “There are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, Keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.” -Practical Magic

16) Salem, Massachusetts!

17) sweet potato sushi from Sakura Sushi in Buffalo, NY!

18) pffft nah, I never use sarcasm😗😉

19) my ceiling fan and the ringing in my ears

20) their hair tbh (I love different hair cuz I used to be a cosmetologist, not cuz I’m just a weirdo lol)

21) an itty bitty 6

22) sometimes green hazel other times auburn (depends on the weather)

23) natural ginger baby!

24) light wash blue mom jeans and white chunky sneakers with various tops (yes I know I’m a basic white girl)

25) Ive never done a prank call and I can’t say I’ve ever had the desire to tbh

26) grey ;o

27) my nickname is Liliana and my posts are written by me (and this blog is for snail mail and other written arts)

28) Studio Ghibli’s Kiki’s Delivery Service

29) Blue Ridge Mountains by Fleet Foxes

30) probably Fleet Foxes

31) exhausted but happy :)

32) my sister❤️

33) I’m single as a Pringle and ready to mingle~!!

34) used to be pretty rocky but definitely on the way to getting better

35) Halloween~!

36) no tattoos yet but I have my ears pierced and a septum piercing

37) oh gosh all the tattoos and my ears pierced a few more times

38) tbh I joined it again cuz of the new animal crossing game coming out, then I discovered snail mail tumblr, and then discovered academia tumblr so I made a new side blog for the last two (go follow my animal crossing blog @islandkahunaliliana )

39) Meditations by Descartes

40) Nope :’)

41) yes but not in a romantic way (aka my mom lol)

42) couple months ago :’) (I’m totally not salty about the breakup... no no, you’re salty, not me... jk jk I’m not actually salty just sad I’m alone again)

43) when I’m more masculine and don’t do makeup probably about 10 minutes, but when I’m more feminine and do makeup it takes me 30 minutes to an hour

44) nope! (I’ve been feeling more masculine lately so I don’t feel the need to shave my legs rn)

45) in bed lol

46) probably my roommate? Or maybe my sister if she’s with me?

47) loud af, I’m practically already deaf cuz I listen to my music so damn loud lol

So that was it!! I hope y’all enjoyed getting to know me! It’s always fun doing these, it’s almost like a journaling prompt!

If anyone wants to do this too, feel free to tag me in it! I wanna get to know y’all better!