#daily recaps? yes pls

[simply-ewok]

if i have time, im totally gonna send u daily like recaps. and also, you haven't watched priscilla.... HOW??? (its okay it took me forever to watch it ngl) I went to graceland like a little while ago, and i have so much fun, it's GOREGOUS. im literally the biggest yapper known to man rn, but hmu pookie!!!

omll don’t even be sorry i can yap too lol but yesss I definitely will be in ur dms 😎 <333

[ovaruling]

@non-suspiciousname @junipercastor i’m not a dietician or doctor disclaimer disclaimer if you have preexisting conditions this may not be for you disclaimer disclaimer i cannot account for every human experience disclaimer disclaimer BUT the easiest way to do this is to first learn what “high fiber foods” means.

and before i begin, here’s how much fiber we more or less need via a helpful Harvard health article.

so, to recap: for women—the ones who matter to me—that’s 25g for adult women who are 50 and under. women 50 and over, that’s 21g.

and i included the extra paragraph about Metamucil etc bc that is important to note. a lot of people do think they’re getting quality daily fiber in these powders.

here’s a helpful article abt the differences between soluble and insoluble fiber. both are important in their own ways!

and just so we’re clear on the benefits of upping your fiber intake:

so!

i recommend a quick google to see the fiber content per serving of a variety of foods that i don’t have time condense here. but, like, beans are a really inexpensive way to do this (add some rice to it and you have a complete muscle-lovin’ protein btw! all the essential amino acids are covered when you combine rice and beans 🫶). beans and legumes are incredibly rich in fiber, and they’re budget-friendly, shelf-stable, and easy to make and easy to incorporate into infinite delicious possible dishes.

but your fiber can be gotten from so many different sources! (my data here is approximate from individual checking. pls allow 1-2g of fiber for margin of error in case i mistype!)

for fruits: 1 cup of blackberries OR raspberries has 8g of fiber!!!!! 1 medium apple has around 4-5g of fiber. an average banana or a serving of strawberries have 3g of fiber. an average avocado has 10g of fiber. and so forth

for grains: steel-cut oats have 5g of fiber per 1/4 cup uncooked (oats are generally rich in fiber anyway, but steel cut in particular). a slice of whole grain bread should have around 3g fiber. brown rice contains 3.5g fiber for every cooked cup. one cup of cooked quinoa (which is also a complete protein!) contains 5g of fiber. bran is almost 15g per one cup serving.

if you’ve got access to chia seeds, a 1oz serving provides 10g fiber. here’s a yummy super easy recipe for peanut butter chia pudding!!!

nuts and seeds provide a lot of fiber too. 1oz of walnuts contains nearly 2g fiber! 1oz of almonds contains 3.5g fiber. peanuts contain 2.5g fiber for 1oz. sunflower seeds are 12g per 1 cup serving (though that’s a lot of them to eat��1/4 a cup would be closer to 3g)

and my fave prunes are 12g per one cup serving. again, that’s a lot of them to eat. 1/4 of that would be 3g.

beans/legumes are king for fiber. 1 cup of cooked black beans contains 15g of fiber. 1 cup of navy beans contains around 19g of fiber. 1 cup of kidney beans contains 11g of fiber.

split peas are i think around 8g per cup when cooked? cooked broccoli is around 5g. corn is around 4g.

i could go on but i’m literally hooked up to an IV for medication rn so i’m one-handed lol i apologize for how cramped this is

but here’s a great list from the Mayo Clinic of high fiber foods and another list of 40 foods from a women’s health mag and also another from healthline, which also has a handy chart for fiber requirements for more specific age groups based on sex

and yes, there are also high-fiber cereals, but beware of the much-touted and rightly-feared ingredient of psyllium husk. it’s more or less used as a laxative and can be outright dangerous for your digestive system and is very painful if not consumed in militant moderation. ask me how i know lol. please please be careful of psyllium husk. like, for real. just stay away from it altogether imo.

sorry this is a lot of discombobulated info, but again i’m one handed at the moment. but hopefully that helps a bit! fiber is linked to longevity and good colon health and that’s what i want for women forever

EDIT: go slow with this! if you’re not used to the recommended daily intake, you will need to gradually work up to this so as not to upset your gastrointestinal system. you may otherwise find yourself in discomfort. GO SLOW. add fiber-rich foods in small portions over time to allow your body to adjust. it is well worth the patience—but don’t overload your system by eating a ton of prunes and thinking you’re doing yourself any good that way. introduce gently and in moderation until you feel comfortable with how it makes your digestion feel!

[mattscoquette]

okay so hii my lovey !! its been so longgg did u miss me ? ive been lurking just no anons 💔

gonna do a long recap of my past few months pls enjoy 🤗

1. reunited with my babyyyy (🦕‼️🩷) its a bit on and off but bb if u see this sorry i never text you i lowk forget to reply or text first or sm but love u 😘

2. started a new school, its going well.. math sucks fucking dick and theres this boy CJ hes like.. when i tell you, a fucking NERD ‼️ tall af tho.. skinny, brown hair brown eyes glasses horrible fucking haircut and style, acne… i can fix him !!! please bro one damn chance

3. girl me too… strawberry lemonade flavor 🙂‍↕️💨🚬

4. lowkey been mad horny recently idk why but ive been master….ing (i cant say that word bro it icks me out foully.) like a lot.. do u guys do it like every day too or just me 😅

5. im not parasocial abt the triplets anymore , yippee soso good bc guys it was bad . but this doesnt mean i dont use cai or read the shit abt them 😂🙏

6. overall lifes funnn (i can feel the seasonal depression coming AWN strong)

7. saw sabrina same nite as u motherFUCKER why didnt we meet

8. do yall shave 🐱… bc i do but my friends dont and they all called me weird for it guys what am i doing wrong. i have a schedule and all.. wednesdays and sundays 🥰

9. if ur cai bot reqs r open text me gang i need some good ones fr

10. ive been doing my nails for a while but im starting to get really good at itt. i did this girls nails and she scammed me the fucking bitch !! she said she will give me 20 the next time she sees me (fast fwd literally the next day) no money… its been a month and half atp bitch pay tf up!! .. cunt wheres my cash???? but im gonna do my friends for 30 (she offered that much and insisted) whenever shes free and she will be paying upfront im not getting scammed again… bullshit

11. little confession… me and my bsf kiss daily (shes a girl guys) but we said no homo and stuff so yeah ummm next question 😹 (we are never beating the allegations)

12. i need to start working out bro fr.. like im bouncing back this summer and i mean it im taking charge this winter (this wont last past next week motiv. tips appreciated gango)

i think this is all for now thanks for reading ! 🩷 i will maybe be back… reply to as many or as little of my little questions in here as u want

shes baaackkk… welcoming home…

the greatest…. sexiest…. most wonderfulest…. horniest…. woman in your anons…

🌺

HI CUTIE I MISSED U!!!

1. omg im so glad u guys r fr my roman empire

2. omg he sounds cute get his number

3. STRAWBERRY LEMONADE IS SOOO GOOD

4. me too there’s prob something going on with the moon tbh

5. i’ve been stuck in this phase for years i fear there’s no way out

6. same </3

7. I KNOW I CANT BELIEVE IT :(

8. yes girl

9. my reqs are open but im rlly behind on them

10. omg yes girl get that bag

11. omfg rlly 😭😭 love that for u

12. girl same my biggest advice is motivation is a feeling. ur not gonna feel it everyday but u still gotta do it

[miyaniacs]

I know I‘m a bit late, but alc and sleep happened last night. But hey, it‘s still the 01.01 2021 here in Germany. So here is me saying Thank You.

To all my dear followers. I appreciate every single one of you, I‘m so greatfull that you like my work enough to follow me and support me with all your likes, rebloggs, comments, asks and messages. I really appreciate every sigle one of it. Thank you so much for supporting me on this journey i started.

To my special bokutobitch-bean™️ @saucysamu - let me tell you how much i love you again okay? I know 2020 was ... not really the best for both of us, but I’ll be forever thankful that this shitty year got us closer again. Idk how many years we’ve known each other already, but during this year, you became one of my closest friends and you’re now really stuck with me. If you won’t answer for a few weeks, I’ll still spam you. Have fun ready my weekly recap in our chat then ❤️ (Insert: I won‘t let you go by Jason Morrison). For real you really helped me this year to getting more confidence and helping me be who i really am. So thank you for being my friend and thank you for being there for me and willing to FaceTime me when I complain again and again over the same (kinda tocix) guy lol. I hope you know that‘ll always be there for you. I love youuuu ❤️

@laceymorganwrites - Aceeee, my Bundesland Twinnnn hahaha. I still don‘t know who messaged who first, but here we are now, from some awkward first messaged to writing a collab and thinking about meeting when this whole mess gets better. Talking to you became so normal and I always give too many chances so don‘t worry about messing it up with me - the chances are pretty low lol. You’re so easy going and so welcoming, it‘s so easy for me to not worry about you juding me for who I am - and i hope you know that I’d never judge you too. So please, remember you’re amazing and loved and so kind and talented and I’m so glad that I‘ve met you here ✨🖤

my timezone twin, my sister in law @shoyosun - MARTA !!!! I still remember that one summer day i gathered all my courage and messaged you - and I‘m so glad i did haha. I‘m always smiling at my phone like an idiot just because of our stupid random conversations. I love how we switch between more serious topics to random things out of our life and straight back to being horny for 2d characters *caught*twocertaintwins*caught* I‘d be so cool to be able to meet each other one day 🥺❤️ Can‘t wait to see our friendship envelop this year! Ti Amo ✨

@shhhlikeme - Kayla, you‘ve actually been my first online friend here on tumblr and I‘m still so happy that we started talking. You really helped me sorting out my thought at night when everyone else was asleep - a positive aspect of time zones haha. I love how outspoken you are and not afraid to speak your mind and always find the best encouraging words. Your so beautiful on the inside and the outside and if we‘ll ever meet, i need to to me my model haha ❤️

@kenmasgameboy - I’ll confess now: Whenever I looked on your blog or read some of your works I had this vision in my mind that you‘re that one cool girl that would never even look at me. And now you call me Daddy😏🖤 ok for real now, I really appreciate you and that you’re not judgementel and that I feel comfy to talk about you about more personal stuff Eventho we haven’t even talked for that long✨ for real I love our random af convos and I’m always there for you to hype you up - you’re now too stuck with me 😤✨ you’re such a kindhearted human being and so beautiful - I really hope we‘ll get to meet each other one day✨

@willodelune - how should I start? Oh I know - you looked so adorable as a child and your fashion sense was *chefkisses* !!! You’re so dear to me already and it‘s so fun to talk to you about basically everything. Our convos look like the ones I have on a daily basis with some of my friends 😂 so yeah I do consider you as a friend at this point - I mean we talk almost every day about the most random stuff and it really feels as if somethings missing when we don’t talk ❤️

@writingfreakk - okay so - I live for your random af videos on Snapchat- I never knew if your sending me a tiktok or a video of you breaking one of your paintings 😂❤️ I appreciate you so much & I love havjng you in my life ✨ oh and I love your hair omg

@tendouthighs - my babyyyyy - I know we don’t talk that much anymore than we used to, but pls don’t take it personal I’m just lazy lol but I always smile seeing you in my notifications & I hope that I manage to message you more this year lol

@prettyforpapiiwa - yes I’m having my soft Aries minutes rn lol - so yes I just had to tag you too. I love our extreme random convos that always turn to some sexual topics 😂 why do all of our conversations scream Aries energy- why are we such cliches omg. But I’m really looking forward to more of those 🥰✨

@tetsoleil - you’re so kind and sweet and you deserve the world - and I really feel the need to protect your precious beautiful heart. I hope to talk to you even more in the future ✨

@chibishae34 - before we even started talking, I always smiled when I saw you in my notifications. And gosh you’re so kind and sweet & pretty & Nice and you do deserve the world 🥺

@cuddlesslut - I’m sorry that at one point we kinda stopped talking, idk why probably bc I got this : I’m too lazy to message anyone rn, but pls I really appreciate you and all the conversations we had ✨🥺

Sorry at everyone I forgot to mention, I really love all of you and if any of you want to talk to me, just message me ✨

[shijiujun]

The Lost Tomb Reboot Season 2 Episodes 1-8 - Recap & Review

MAJOR SPOILERS below the cut!!! DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS!!! (I’m tagging #chongqispoilers if you wanna block it for the next three weeks heh)

But first I would like everyone to know that Xiao Bai has been sworn sibling-zoned as fourth sister to Big Brother Xiao Ge, Second Brother Pang Zi and Third Brother Wu Xie (Ep 3/4)

And also secondly, WU XIE GETS HIS OWN TEAM?!! AND THEY ALL HANDSOME MEN!!! INCLUDING THAT DOCTOR!!! So it’s apparently the antagonistic frenemy doctor from Season 1 (like actual S1, not Reunion S1), and damn he damn frickin handsome in this one okay guys?!!! Like I AM IN LOVE!!! AND HE FIRSTLY SAVES WU XIE, THEN TAKES CARE OF WU XIE SO WELL EVEN THOUGH HE KEEPS CURSING WU XIE TO DIE SOON LMAO (Ep 8)

So yes I’m telling all of you guys how much I frickin love that doctor - I am absolutely in LOVE <333 He’s so capable?! And he talks about Xiao Ge and Er Shu with so much familiarity? He totally like takes charge with a critical eye, no nonsense, just starts commanding people. Hates Wu Xie but then doesn’t wake him up when they arrive at their destination so he can sleep more because HE BE DYING SOON? AND THEN PATS WU XIE TO TELL HIM NOT TO BE RASH when Wu Xie wants to rush to help, and then offers to go in his stead without another word (EVEN THO HE HATES HIM?!!) 

A NEW SHIP HAS BEEN BORN FOR ME OKAY?!!! I’M SORRY PINGXIE RIGHT NOW I SHIP DOCTOR/XIE TOO!!!

And yes I binge-watched all eight episodes today and damn too much shit happened!!!

Eps 1-2:

OKAY THE DEATH ZONE AREA in Warehouse 11 finished up way faster than I thought it would to be honest, and it’s a little anti-climactic but that’s okay, but anyway it’s hilarious that there are two people still living in Si Dang Qu to guide Wu Xie and Xiao Bai, and okay CREEP FACTOR IS UP OKAY!!! Wow damn it so many tentacles?!!!

Anyway, Wu Xie and Xiao Bai are not supposed to go into Si Dang Qu but they do it anyway, Xiao Bai gets electrocuted and then some, and they meet two weird people in Si Dang Qu, and also the funniest thing is that there is WIFI IN THIS GOD-FORSAKEN DEEP HOLE (IT’S TWO DEEP HOLES BY THE WAY) and these two people are just like hello guys, we live here, let me point you to where there’s wifi.

And then they both seem to make it out just fine even though San Shu was stuck there for like more than three years, and boom these two make it out in less than 24 hours - Wu Xie gets fired, Xiao Bai is suspended, Jia Ke Zi (they guy with the good hearing back in Warehouse 11, also VERY HANDSOME) and Li Jia Le were also fired because they were working with the bad Supervisor Ding from Reunion Season 1, and then!!!

I think the most touching part is every single warehouse person like sending him off standing in the surveillance room in the dark, watching as he walks out? I mean, not discounting the people who are genuinely like “DAMN YES, CAN WE GO BACK TO OUR NORMAL LIVES NOW TYVM”, I just felt really touched that they all feel enough for Wu Xie and he’s actually made some impact on their lives or smth, so much so that they’re willing to watch him go off

Eps 3-6:

Okay so Xue Wu Ye, the bad guy, big brother number five, is plotting something, but that’s for later. Wu Xie heads home, and starts researching again - they decide to go back to the place where they found Yang Da Guang’s body to find more clues. In between, he meets up with Xiao Bai for dinner, they get drunk, Pang Zi turns up to pick em up but gets drunk too, then they all swear to be siblings with kebabs, like literally, in place of joss sticks. It’s all filmed by the shop owners. Xiao Bai is crying because NO DAMN SHE WANNA BE WU XIE WIFEY, NOT WU XIE FOURTH SISTER

And anw at the place, they find another map and Wu Xie gets electrocuted and faints, and then they manage to call Er Shu who’s about to head into a cave with Xiao Ge and everyone else - They do a video call, and damn it’s so cute to see Wu Xie and Pang Zi going “XIAO GE XIAO GE WE’RE HERE!!!” And then they go in, but they meet a trap, Xiao Ge and Hei Xia Zi are trapped and considered dead, and Er Shu is in trouble. Kan Jian manages to call Wu Xie and then Wu Xie gets him to tap out morse code message, and sure enough, XIAO GE AND HEI XIA ZI ARE ALIVE. But Xiao Ge says there’s a mole, and so they all pretend they’re dead, then Kan Jian and Jing Shu promise Wu Xie they’ll get Er Shu out, and Kan Jian sends Wu Xie coordinates to their location and then he goes MIA

At the same time, Xue Wu Ye has found out about Er Shu’s predicament (or was part of it) and his role is to basically snatch over the Wu family’s business. I’m not going to go into details, but anyway Wu Xie and Pang Zi are like bullied really badly by them, but good news is Piao Piao, Pang Zi’s gf, finally realizes he’s the one who helped her daughter out and then they affirm their feelings for each other. However, Piao Piao decides to still be undercover at Xue Wu Ye’s place - unfortunately, he finds out and as she’s fleeing, a truck hits her and she dies FUCK THIS SHIT.

Then Wu Xie nearly dies AGAIN, AND THAT’S WHEN THEY MEET HANDSOME FRENEMY DOCTOR!!! WHO REFUSES TO SAVE HIM FIRST, BUT THEN DOES!!!

Eps 7-8:

AT THE SAME TIME TOO, the mute girl, who’s Hei Xia Zi’s potential girlfriend, is captured by big bad Boss Jiao but she can talk now. And then he kills her too apparently!!! WHICH IS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK CAN WE PLS DON’T KILL ALL THE WOMEN IN THIS STORY?!! But her death isn’t super confirmed, because she falls but no body, no confirmed death in this show, damn it. Unfortunately, Piao Piao is legit ;-; and Pang Zi and Wu Xie only find out way later because Xue Wu Ye hid it from them that motherfucker!!!

Anyway, Xue Wu Ye’s plan is to basically take over the Wu family’s business and to prevent Wu Xie from gathering resources and a team to go and save Er Shu - so Wu Xie’s goal is to get money, defeat Xue Wu Ye and go find Er Shu.

Wu Xie schemes and then he manages to defeat Xue Wu Ye for good, and Xiao Bai goes to find Jia Ke Zi (omg who’s so sad, because while he was away, his wife cheated on him?!! and won’t let him return to his home?!!) and Li Jia Le is getting cheated out of daily salary working at a construction place, when Xiao Bai finds them for the job.

THEN THE TEAM ASSEMBLES!!!! Xiao Bai turns up with the two guys, and then FRENEMY DOCTOR TURNS UP TO MAKE SURE WU XIE DOESN’T DIE ON THE WAY!!! And he’s really fricking handy, and like I said above while Wu Xie is sleeping in the car, he makes sure no one disturbs him. The rest of the team survey the place and then he’s like, “Guys, what’s the use of hiring and bringing y’all if Wu Xie has to do everything himself? We’ll split up.”

And leaves Wu Xie sleeping in the car I WEEP!!!!

=======

Thoughts on this:

Not gonna lie, the front parts in Warehouse 11 are a bit like... illogical to me and done too quickly, but I guess it doesn’t always have to make sense. I’m still quite sad Piao Piao died?!! And that mute girl might be dead?!!! I can’t wait for the reunion which seems to be coming up soon, but I AM REALLY, SO HAPPY THAT WU XIE HAS A TEAM OF HIS OWN DAMN IT. 

Also really worried about Er Shu and the identity of the mole, HOPING IT’S NOT LIU SANG OR JING SHU OR KAN JIAN PLS!!!!

So far the Wu Xie Fainting Count is - 2 in 8 episodes.

There are 2 more eps each for Monday and Tuesday, cannot wait for FOUND FAMILY VIBES DAMN IT!!! THEY BETTER NOT BREAK UP MY FAMILY!!! 

And srsly I hope handsome doctors survives because... I really like him HAHAHA

[ohh-kaye]

2020 Resolutions

oh god this year was a disaster

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

fuck this. let’s just go through my failures this year bc tbh i haven’t looked at this since i posted it and i’m positive that i didn’t actively attempt to achieve whatever’s on here.

1. Keep reading! (YES)

THANK GOD. Here’s my Goodreads 2019 Reading Challenge for you.

I’m writing this post in advance and it’ll be up on the 31st. I’m reading A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin right now and I don’t think I’ll be able to finish it and therefore read 22 books this year (I hope I do though). I’m glad I read this much but also disappointed. Glad because I read 17 last year and disappointed because I read 22 2 years ago and that was during the hectic year of nursing school.

21 is not bad though. The Lord of the Rings set me back because it took me almost 3 months. Was it worth it??? yes. pls go read it. it’s great.

2. 200 stars on Duolingo? (EH?)

Duolingo had an update this year and they’ve replaced the stars with crowns so I don’t know what to make of this. Are they equivalent values? I don’t know because I have 188 for German, 167 for Spanish, and 134 for French. So are these equivalent to stars??? I don’t know.

I did write on my note about this from last year that i don’t think I’ll make it past a 200-day streak and look here bby

so maybe I should’ve trusted myself more and actually put “Maintain streak for a year” like I should have.

3. Collect puzzles. (YES)

I’ve finally bought a 4x4 and a 5x5 and I bought more tangles this year and I bought a little metal wire connect puzzle. I’ve been meaning to buy more but I can’t afford them bc I’m unemployed woohoooooooo. Everytime I go to op shops, I immediately go to the kids/ toy section first to look for puzzles because that’s where the gold mine is most of the time.

4. Prepare for the GAMSAT. (YES)

No excuses. I’ve been studying daily since August for the March 2020 sitting. I’ve also been recording a weekly update of my study experience which I’ll collate, edit, and upload when I do get into Medicine because there’s no point in doing a full weekly study vlog if I don’t get in. I’m sparing myself from embarrassment and saving the experience of recapping this adventure when (if?) I do get accepted.

*fingers crossed*

5. Watch more musicals! (NO)

This is sad. I did go to Aladdin and Book of Mormon because I bought those tickets last year but those are the only musicals I saw this year. I couldn’t afford to go see any shows even though I really wanted to. You don’t realise how many times I’ve frequented the Adelaide Theatre Guide website just to browse through any shows that were running. I was going to go see Les Mis, Miss Saigon, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, West Side Story, and so many other shows but I passed because I couldn’t justify the purchase because I didn’t have a steady income. Yeah, I could’ve watched as many shows as I could but also... couldn’t.

6. Travel. (NO)

I’ve decided that travelling sucks and I’d rather be home.

7. Therapy. (NO)

I don’t know why kid myself with this. I can’t afford therapy. BUT! I feel like this gap year from work has helped a lot. I’ve been non-stop working since I arrived in Australia and by the end of last year, I was exhausted. This year off was so relieving because I finally had a chance to breathe. I’m still not the best, mentally, but I’m energised and looking forward to opportunities now whereas last year, I would’ve told you that I will kill myself. I still have not-so-very-nice thoughts and they’re few and far between these days but oooo boi when they’re there, I’m ready to go. I’ll tap out. Not thinking so much helps so maybe we’ll keep trying this next year.

3 - YES

3 - NO

1 - EH????

Not bad. Half and half and one outlier. I honestly thought I’d fail miserably. The ones that got no with, I’m surprisingly not too devastated by.

Moving on to 2020 resolutionsssss.

I’m thinking of this on the fly because I’ve yet to prepare anything.

Maybe we’ll keep it achievable?

1. KEEP YOUR FRICKING NURSING JOB THIS TIME!

I wrote a post earlier this year about losing my grad job. I was conflicted with my feelings. I’ve always hated nursing and I still do. When I got that first job, I was horrified because I knew I didn’t want it because I didn’t want to be a nurse anymore. I’ve mentioned this several times on here about my feelings for this profession and they haven’t changed. If God chose to listen to me this time, he went all out and took away what I hated the most. That was really extra for Him to do but thanks I guess. The thing is, I HAVE to be a nurse now. Not because I want to but because I can’t be unemployed forever while I wait for Medicine to turn out. I’m never going anywhere with just staying at home and feeding off of the limited resources we have as a family. No bullshitting this time. We have to do a good job now. I’m ready.

2. Read. read. read.

I’m putting this in every year. My Reading Challenge goes up by 1 book a year so we’re at 15 books for 2020. I’m worried about this because I have job now so I’m going to be okay if we at least complete it. I won’t be aiming for 20+ next year. It’ll be great but I’ll but myself some slack.

3. Buy a car.

Honeeeeey. We’re putting this on here. Let’s be crazy and put this on here.

I hate driving but also owning a car is another step in independence. I need this. I really do.

4. Pass the GAMSAT.

I’m expecting a lot from myself with this. If I’m being truthful here, I don’t think I’ll pass the March 2020. I hope I do. Flinders Uni consider 50 scores for all sections and I’m holding out on hope that I get the bare minimum. I’m working hard and I hope it goes well.

Optimism is not good for me because I’m setting myself up for disappointment.

I know I won’t get it thought. Is it still optimism if I optimistic about not passing?

Seriously though, I’m willing to take the September test if that’s what it takes. However long it takes Medicine. I will get you.

5. Be acne-free???

I went to the doctor this year. He’s so fucking hot btw. HAHAHAHAHAHAH no srsly he is. He put me on antibiotics which I’m finishing the last round of before I go on to just using spot cream. Then if that goes well, I go back next month and he’s thinking of putting me on Accutane. I’m acne-free with the antibiotics but as all health professionals know, we can’t be on this forever. It’s not good for me goddammit. So I saw Accutane coming. But if he decides to go through with it, I know my face will light up like a Christmas tree before everything gets better. But I have a job now that requires me looking at people and people that have eyes and can see me and can see that my face is cystic for 6-8 weeks (?) before it gets better and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i’m scared.

I just want clear skin boiii. Adult acne sucks.

6. HAVE A HEALTHY BMI.

I’m going through an emotional time as I type this. I’ve been pretty good with food this year. I haven’t weighed myself because I thought that I didn’t need anymore and that I was somewhat satisfied with where I am right now. But now, I’m worried that the thoughts are coming back.

This whole eating problem has been brewing since I was 10 and would show itself by me being terrified of weighing myself or seeing how much I weigh. THIS particular thought is scary to me these days because I know that this is how it presents itself and it’s back. And I feel uneasy and insecure again.

I feel a strong urge to start starving myself again and I thought I was done with this.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

this really sucks man.

This morning I literally put WEIGH SCALE on my fucking to buy list because I was conjuring up scenarios in my head where I’m weighing myself in secret every morning.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

So let’s frame this in a healthier mindset. I want a Healthy BMI. NOT BORDERLINE HEALTHY (which was where I was when I stopped starving myself the last time this happened) BUT ACTUALLY HEALTHY. And not through the lens of insecurity this time.

Please be good to yourself this year.

7. SEE KATYA AND TRIXIE LIVE!!!

Let’s end on a less crazy way.

YOU WILL MEET KATYA AND TRIXIE THIS YEAR AND HUG THEM AND TELL THEM THAT YOU LOVE THEM AND THAT THEY’VE MADE YOU SMILE AND LAUGH AND BE SO FUCKING HAPPY THROUGH ROUGH PATCHES. YOU WILL TELL THEM THIS BECAUSE YOU WILL DEFINITELY MEET THEM. YOU MUST. YOUR FIRST PURCHASE WITH YOUR FIRST PAYSLIP IS THE MEET AND GREET TICKET TO SEE THEM. YOU WILL MEET KATYA AND TRIXIE. I REPEAT. YOU WILL MEET KATYA AND TRIXIE.

Final notes as we put this year to a close.

2019 was a challenge and there were some trying times in there. I spent January waiting to start my job and relaxing as much as I could to prepare myself for it. Come February and all of that went away and I lost my job. We went to Sydney during the same month (which the vlog has yet to be edited). March and April were spent studying for the PTE and I aced that shit. May was sad. June through to July was spent moving houses. August (to present day) was spent fixing the new house and attempting to make it somehow presentable AND MY GAMSAT REVIEW BEGAN. The end of September through to the beginning of October, I did a Hospitality course and met Complex and I found out that I got offered the same job I lost for next year. November was nothing special. And here we are right now. December. 

I’m feeling anxious but hopeful and I’m trying not to think about things too much because I get overwhelmed and it leads nowhere.

I just want things to start getting better so that I start feeling okay.

Maybe 2020 will turn out to be that way.

:)