#cytm

[thotantics]

Can You Trust Me? | Chapter 1

[mb credit: @blankpaper-colouredeyes]

⚤   pairing — female reader + Kim Taehyung (bts) ✎ word count — 12k ✦ genre — smut, slight angst, college!au / non idol!au ✗ warnings  — graphic descriptions of sex, friends with benefits, unprotected sex (brief), mentions of self doubt/self hatred(??), mentions of attempted sexual assault (VERY brief early on, nothing intense but better safe than sorry lovelies) ✓ prompts — “What? Does that feel good?" + "I think that's the first time I've heard you moan...it was like a fucking melody" [a/n] — this is something I’ve wanted to do for months, lowkey one of the reasons I even made this blog. I’ve been actively working on this first chapter (and the rough draft for the next two chapters) for the last few weeks now and I’m very proud of how it’s coming together. big shout out to @over-kooked for indulging in my many musings about this idea and being super supportive always and to @scarletsehun for requesting these prompts together for Taetae which ultimately inspired me to get this story started ♡♡♡

Taetae [11:03pm]: are you asleep

You sigh as you stare down at your phone in the darkness of your bedroom. Taehyung had been avoiding you for the last week. It wasn’t like him at all, but texting you like this just before you went to bed definitely was. You frown at your phone, your instinct to pick it up and answer him immediately battling with the pettier side of yourself wanting to roll back over under the comfort of your duvet and ignore him. The thought crossed your mind for only a second or two before you dismissed it, however. You couldn’t sink to that level. Not with him. It was childish of him to ignore you, but you were sympathetic to (what you assumed) his reasons for doing so. 

Within the time that you’d known him, Taehyung had become one of your closest friends, but your feelings for him had grown...complicated. 

It had been lingering in the air between the two of you for some time now; this sort of "What are we?" conversation that nobody on earth wanted to have. It felt like setting yourself up, at your most vulnerable, and putting your friendship on the metaphorical chopping block all at once. The stakes were particularly high, because Kim Taehyung had grown to mean the absolute world to you.

What had started as a typical day of hanging out, the last time you saw him, had an unpleasant vibe that hung over the two of you until Tae eventually made up some excuse and left. And you hadn't seen or heard from him in over a week now. Which was unlike him. He had been a stable, consistent presence in your life since the day you met. You had texted him for the first couple of days like normal, but after the third day, Taehyung was starting to leave you on 'read' without a single word in response. So now, just barely after 11pm as you sit in the dark on your bed, you find yourself typing rapid fire in response to Tae's text.

You [11:04pm]: I'm awake..

You [11:04pm]: are you ok?

Over a week ago, the last time you saw or spoke to Taehyung, someone the two of you barely knew had brought up the fact that they thought the two of you were a couple. It was a harmless misunderstanding that, in the moment, you had found kind of funny. You thought Tae also found it funny as he had been laughing right along with you. It was, after all, just an acquaintance the two of you shared and what did it really matter if they were wrong about your friendship, anyway? They had apologized, and explained their reasoning behind thinking you were a couple. Your friendliness, your body language, the way you look at one another, on and on. Then it went just a step too far and suddenly, "You're just so cute together, you would make such a great couple!"

Really, the whole thing was so juvenile. After a simple misunderstanding, two adults should be able to brush it off and recover fairly easily from the embarrassment. If it hadn't been for the fact that you wear head over heels in love with him, it would've been a lot easier, you guessed.  After so much silence from him afterwards, you were beginning to wonder if he even gave a shit about your feelings at all. After all, how else were you supposed to take his odd, week-long silence if not as a rejection of some sort?

Taehyung doesn't respond to your text for a while and you're feeling nervous all over again. You're wondering why he would even bother texting you to begin with. During his absence, you had begun to think that he was ghosting on you, and it hurt a lot to even consider that possibility. Losing him would be a big blow. He had been one of the only people you could rely on when you moved away from your hometown to the city on your own. 

The day you met him, working at a local bar, he’d practically saved your life by calling over a bouncer to your table when he noticed from across the room that the guy who’d asked you out was getting way too friendly. You weren’t into it and the guy was getting frustrated that you weren’t fawning over his handsy advances. After the bouncer escorted the plastered, worst date of your life out, Tae sauntered over with a drink on the house just to make sure you were alright, and he called a cab to make sure you got home safely. The next day, you headed back to the bar in hopes to repay him for looking out for you, and offered to buy him dinner when he got off work that night. 

Taehyung had encouraged you in your struggle to find a job, in starting your own life, finding an apartment, becoming the person you are today. Not having him in your life after everything you’d been through together, after how much you’d needed him over the years, would be the absolute worst case scenario.

Taetae [11:52pm]: do you wanna come over?

The notification from your phone, clutched in a vice like grip in your hand, startles you out of your thoughts.

You [11:52pm]: I was about to go to sleep..

Taetae [11:54pm]: come over :( I haven't seen you in days. you can sleep here

You [11:54pm]:  why haven't you been answering my texts?

Taetae [11:55pm]: I've been busy with work and helping my roommate move in

You [11:55pm]: you finally found a roommate?

Taetae [11:56pm]: yeah, he moved in yesterday officially. there's boxes everywhere so don’t mind the mess. you'll have to be quiet when you come over, I think he's asleep already

You can't help but laugh at the way he's texting you now as if he's already decided for you that you're definitely coming over. With a roll of your eyes, you find yourself giving in just as easily as you always do when it comes to him.

You [11:58pm]: ok...I'll be there in, like, half an hour

Taetae [11:58pm]: be careful

The complicated part of this whole thing had never been Tae himself. He made it all very, very easy. Effortlessly comfortable to be around, endlessly charming and filled to the very brim with happiness, the only complicated part was the way that you had grown to feel about him. He was very easy to fall in love with. Even early on when you had resisted those feelings. At this point, they were much too strong to resist and you were simply… stuck. Because it had become apparent at this point that Taehyung absolutely did not feel the same way about you.

In the past, the winkwink, nudgenudge had only gotten you more physically close with Tae than what you had hoped for. Which was really nice, but not ultimately what you were hoping to achieve. There had been a lot of developments in the last two years or so that you had known and gotten familiar with him. You had slept in the same bed, limbs tangled up like lovers, far too many nights to count. Stolen kisses, a lot of hugs, lingering touches, intimate fingers dancing on goosepimpled skin, and long talks about your deepest fears and wildest dreams. Then there was the other girls. Girls who had come and gone, two, specifically, that you could recall with a dull ache in your chest.

Taehyung had always treated you differently than he did the girls he dated. He didn’t look at you the way he had them. Seeing those relationships, even the briefest ones that never got past harmless flirting, was eye opening for you. It kept your heart guarded and your mouth shut, as far as your feelings for him went. Despite the many things you’d shared that felt intimate to you, Taehyung had never opened up his heart to you the way you saw him do to others.

With your feelings hurt and your heart as weak as it felt, you had a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you were going to regret not staying in bed tonight. A distant, anxious part of you knew this was stupid and probably  just a pointless waste of your time, but you still slipped on that dress you knew he liked and made sure to dab some perfume behind your ears and at the nape of your neck.

When you walked out of your bedroom, your roommate was lounging on the couch in her PJ's watching Netflix, and she smiled over at you, "Where are you going at this time of night dressed like the classiest whore I've ever seen?"

You couldn't help but laugh at Olivia as you rushed over to slip on your shoes, "Tae finally texted me back, he asked me to come over. I think maybe we’ll talk about stuff..." You tell her briefly, a smile lingering coyly on your lips, "I'm hoping I won't be back home tonight, so don't wait up."

"Seriously?" Olivia asks, her brows arched in surprise, "Awesome! Good for you."

You grin back her, "Thanks."

"Good luck, doll.” Olivia tells you, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

You laugh, “Thanks, Liv. Goodnight.”

Olivia was the only person who knew how you felt about Taehyung. She thought he was sweet and funny and she was always encouraging you to let him know how you felt, but the timing was always off. After Tae's silence for the last week, you didn't have time to wait for the "right moment" anymore, and you definitely didn't have time to muster up the courage.

It was scary to think that maybe he didn't care about you after the last week, even if his excuse for being too busy to respond to your texts had been legitimate. Taehyung had always been the type of guy that hid his feelings and put up a wall to protect himself, you knew that and it made you feel weak in moments like this. When you can’t swim and end up drowning in your emotions, Taehyung is standing at the top of a tall dam, guarded and protected. If you were ever going to tell him how you felt, now was the time, regardless of how your hand was shaking when you lifted it to turn the doorknob leading into Tae's apartment.

He left it unlocked for you and the first sight that greeted you when you walked in was Taehyung, lounging on the couch with his long legs splayed open, wearing nothing but a pair of dark blue pajama bottoms. He's surrounded by boxes, some empty, some with various types of packaging garbage, all around the furniture. When he sees you walk in, he smiles but he doesn't move a muscle, eyes lidded and sleepy. You think that he must be tired from helping his roommate move, so you navigate the maze of boxes and plop down on the couch next to him.

"Hi." Taehyung smiles, reaching out his hand and motioning you forward to give him a hug, which you give to him happily. "How are you?" He asks casually, his voice not quite a whisper, but definitely lower than normal, so you match his volume, not wanting to wake the newest occupant of the apartment.

"I'm ok. I can't believe you were ignoring me all week." You tell him with a pout, hoping to keep the mood light but wanting to get right into it. You don't want him to think you're upset with him because, in truth, you aren't. It's impossible to truly be upset with him. Worried? Sure. Scared? Shitless. But you weren't upset with him, and even if he didn't feel the same way you did, you couldn’t fault him for that.

"Sorry," Tae tugs you over into another hug, a tighter one that draws you into his side and you tuck your feet under you on the couch, draping one arm over his bare midsection. "I finally got a response from my listing and I met up with the guy and we got along really well. We were hanging out all week and I've been busy helping him get moved in." He tells you briefly, adding, "You'll meet him soon, you'll like him."

You melt so easily into Taehyung's embrace, your cheek against his chest listening to the steady drumming of his heart and the deep tone of his voice. It makes perfect sense, when you think about it, much more sense than that he would be actively ignoring you because of what was said before. The word 'juvenile' is circling around your head and you feel bad for doubting him. To invite you into his home in the middle of the night and lay with you the way he was now, so comfortably and easily, had to mean that you meant something to him. Unless he accommodated all of his friends this way, but nobody else was here, and hadn't he always treated you special? At least, when you were together, just the two of you like this, he made you feel as if you were special. Separated from Tae for the last week, all of these doubts and fears cropped up, and you had wondered if he cared about you at all. Now that you were with him...none of it mattered anymore. 

Nothing else could matter when he was warm and gentle and holding you in his arms. Or when he smiled at you and laughed with you. You make small talk for a little while, and he tells you what he's been up to the last few days. He asks about your work and Olivia, and he even brings up the awkward incident from the last time you saw him, mentioning it with a laugh as his hand repositions around your shoulders and suddenly his fingers are stroking through the strands of your hair. Your heart skips a beat when he brings it up, but he’s casual, even as he tells you with his low, raspy, sleepy voice, “I’ve been thinking about that a lot, actually.”

Taehyung’s fingers feel so nice as he pets you delicately, like you’re his favorite companion in the whole world as you lay side by side, curled up into one another. You fall silent for a while, and with the lights out and the faint blue light from the TV, you feel comfortable and at peace. It’s the way he pets your hair that starts to help you drift off to sleep. 

He slips his hand from your hair, down your back, and lifts your shirt so he can stroke the bare skin of your side tenderly and you’re snapped out of your sleepy haze then immediately, because the touch of his hand feels much more intimate and deliberate than playing with your hair. Besides, the feel of his fingers delicately sliding up and down your side is giving you goosebumps. You have to remind yourself to breathe evenly as the pads of his fingers smooth across your skin, grazing you occasionally with his nails.

It's easy to get lost in the moment with Tae. He has this way about him that makes the atmosphere feel cozy and peaceful . You arrived at his apartment with trembling hands, ready to confront him and have a difficult conversation that you feared would end badly, but now that you were here it was like your objective had faded until his touch shifted to stroking your side had jolted you back to this reality; the reality of your friendship being different, special, maybe.. hopefully something more. The reality of needing to talk to him about it.

He chuckles at something that happens on TV, a quiet rumble in his chest that vibrates against your cheek. You don’t turn to see what he’s laughing at but instead turn to look up at his face, handsome and sleepy. His eyes are lidded and his lips are parted and full as his smile fades. He’s still petting up and down your side but he doesn’t seem to have any motive behind the touch, and you’re more than happy to let it happen. It feels nice, despite the goosebumps he’s leaving on you and the weight of your own thoughts that had followed the touch. You settle onto his chest again, using him as your own personal pillow, and he reaches with his opposite arm to lace his long fingers together with yours.

Taehyung stays like that for a long while, holding your hand, stroking up and down your side rhythmically. His fingers leave trails of warmth and electricity, his touch tingles on your skin ever so slightly, keeping you awake despite your eyes wanting to flutter shut.

“Mmm,” You hum to him sleepily, “Your hands are so nice.”

Tae doesn’t reply, but he shifts onto his side a little more, your head slipping off his chest. He’s not paying attention to the TV anymore, his eyes watching as his opposite hand now resumes stroking your side, smoothing over your bare skin. You squirm just a bit when he grazes feather light touches over your ribs, suddenly ticklish, and Taehyung lifts his gaze to meet your eyes, biting his lower lip to stifle a smile.

“What?” You ask him, unsure what the look he was giving you meant.

“Nothing.” He insists, but it’s the kind of ‘nothing’ someone says when there definitely is something, so you narrow your eyes at him suspiciously.

“Don’t.” You tell him, and he breaks out into a wide grin. “Kim Taehyung,” You threaten, “You better not tickle me.”

The laughter that bubbles up from him is contagious, and even with the threat of him tickling you, you can’t help but laugh, too. His hand is still under your shirt, pressed tight and warm into your rib cage, and you give him a warning look through your giggles, and he puts a finger to his lips.

"We have to be quiet, he's asleep." He reminds you, but he's still grinning playfully and for a moment, you're sitting there staring at each other when suddenly, Taehyung leans in and kisses you on the cheek.

"What's that for?" You ask him. Not like a kiss on the cheek was the most scandalous thing he had done. You've made out in the past but those were always chalked up to "Wow we were SO drunk last night" Even still, the kiss made your face tingle where his lips touched, and you knew you were blushing at him, thankful you were sitting mostly in the dark.

“What?” He asks you, leaning in and kissing your cheek again. “I’m not doing anything.” He says, and kisses you a third time, but he presses his mouth to the very corner of your lips.

You're frozen, unsure if you should respond to the kiss or cut the playful moment short and demand some answers from him, but before you can decide what to do, Tae's staring at you with lidded eyes, and his lips are full, his tongue coming out to wet them deliberately as his eyes flit down to focus on your mouth. And you're unable to think about literally anything else except the look on his face and the fact that he's definitely, absolutely going to kiss you.

He moves in and you shut your eyes, waiting to feel the pressure from his pillowy lips on yours. Instead, you feel his hand graze your cheek and your eyes flutter open, the breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding leaving your lungs in an almost mournful sigh.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks instead, and you know you probably looked like an idiot, shutting your eyes and waiting for a kiss that never came, but the way he's looking at you so tenderly and touching you so softly makes you feel like the only other person in the world. You're unable to formulate any words, so you nod your head and swallow past a lump in your throat.

"We've been friends for a long time. And stuff like this keeps happening between us.." He trails off, and his eyes leave yours almost shyly and it feels so unlike him that you can't help but worry. Taehyung is loud, boisterous, unapologetically himself. It makes you wonder what it is he's going to ask, and despite your intentions for coming over here, you're suddenly afraid of anything between the two of you changing. Because what if the two of you can’t handle that change? What if it breaks apart your friendship entirely? What if this moment, now, makes it inevitable for you to lose him? 

"Stuff like this?" You repeat back to him, mostly because if this is The Moment that you've been waiting for, you don't want anything to be left unsaid. You're afraid but at the same time, this is Taehyung sitting in front of you, tucking your hair behind your ear and then nervously ruffling the hair at the back of his head as he chuckles sort of awkwardly, avoiding your eyes.

"Don't act coy." Tae says, "That's not going to get us anywhere."

"I just want to know what you think 'stuff like this' is." You tell him.

"The flirting," He replies with a heart shaped smile that's spreading wide across his face, and you're delighted by the fact that he's now beginning to blush, too. "The kissing. The last time it happened, I said I was drunk but I wasn't really that drunk, you know?"

"So why did you kiss me?"

"Why did you kiss me back?" He counters.

You hesitate, feeling unsure. After a couple moments of struggling to put it into words in your head first, you finally tell him shyly, "It felt good."

Taehyung beams at you, all the light and warmth that you've ever felt in your life coming from the way he smiles all the way up to his eyes. He reaches out to you like you're the cutest little puppy and caresses your hair affectionately.

"It does feel good." He agrees, "That's a big reason why I wanna ask you this..."

"Ok. Ask me." You encourage him.

"It's just...I'd really, really hate it if something..." He trails off, his brows furrowing, deep in thought, and you realize at that moment that maybe what's been plaguing your thoughts all this time had been bothering him, too. At least enough to the point that he feels the need to be cautious choosing his words. He had always seemed like someone with no brain-mouth filter when it came to you. 

With a sigh, he continues, "I don't want to make anything awkward between us. I think we have a really great friendship and I'm not trying to ruin that."

You're holding your breath, because it feels like this is it. But just like the kiss you expected earlier, Taehyung leaves you sitting there waiting for something that doesn't come. Instead, he asks you, "Do you think it would make things between us weird or awkward if we hooked up? I mean...beyond just drunken kisses and Netflix cuddle sessions?"

You fall silent, not at all expecting this to be the way the conversation was heading and you're unsure how to respond.

After a few moments of internally struggling, Taehyung speaks up again before you have the chance to form a coherent thought, "Listen, if you have someone that you’re seeing, or someone in mind you wanna be with or whatever, that's fine. I just...I guess I'm just hoping that we can add some more... fun to our sleepovers." He chuckles somewhat shyly, then he hesitantly asks you, “Do you treat all of your friends like this? Do you go to other guys’ apartments in the middle of the night and lay in their arms?”

You swallow thickly, shaking your head. "No...only you. And I-I’m not seeing anybody."

"Good." Tae smiles at you, "Nothing has to change between us, not really. We can stay the same as we always have been. Just, maybe we can do more things that feel good. Like kissing. And...you know...whatever else you like." He smirks in a way that's almost cocky, as if somehow he already knows what you like and he knows that he'll make you feel really good. It makes your blood feel white hot rushing through your veins and there's a cloudiness in your head. You feel drunk in a way. Mainly in the way that, when people are drunk, they don't really make the best decisions.

"Ok." You tell him.

"Really?" Taehyung seems surprised, like he thought he'd have to talk you into it but he has to be aware of how charming he is. He has to know that if he suggested literally anything to you, you would ultimately agree without much coercion. He has to know the hold he has on you, but yet, he his brows lift in disbelief, in genuine surprise at your easy response.

"Yeah." You shrug, "Why not?"

"I just… I mean, you're really ok with this? I'd hate to risk our friendship just for sex." He says. “So if you think it’s weird or feel like you aren’t into it in the slightest bit-”

"Maybe it’ll be worth it." You cut him off, tired of waiting for the moment when it was right here, right now, "Kiss me."

Taehyung is taken aback but he doesn't hesitate long. Just long enough to scan your face and decide that you definitely mean it. He's looking for any sign of apprehension, of any slight hesitation, and then he's leaning in kiss you again but this time, you don't dare shut your eyes. You keep them open and watch as his flutter shut, and he sweeps one of his hands into your hair at the back of your neck. He's so close you could count the number of dark stubbles growing on his upper lip but you keep your eyes on him until you feel the pressure from his lips on yours.

With a sigh, you purse your lips back into his and let your eyes fall shut. It's a much more gentle thing, to kiss Taehyung when you're both sober - there's no rush of alcohol in your bloodstream causing a similar rush in your actions. It's tender this time, and so, so slow. Tae doesn't move his lips at all at first, he just presses them to yours and breathes deep for a couple of seconds, in and out of his nose, his body shifting closer. He drapes his forearm over your lap and his fingers grip ever so slightly onto your outer thigh. You feel him pull back just enough so barely a breath could fit between you and your eyes crack open only to be met with his own, big, wide, curious ones staring back at you.

You don't want the moment to end, not so soon. With your mind reeling with thoughts and feelings that you aren't ready to deal with quite yet, you reach for his face with both hands and tug him closer so you can kiss him again. This time when Tae feels your lips, he properly kisses you, slotting his lips over yours and he sighs when he feels you respond. Then his tongue is pressing between you, swiping across your lower lip very carefully, asking permission, which you immediately grant to him. The hand on your outer thigh slides up, the dress you wore bunching into your lap, and he touches the bare skin of your thigh at the same time that he dips his tongue past your parted lips and into your eager mouth.

You're so lost in the moment together you don't hear the bedroom door creaking open down the hall, or the padding of someone's footsteps approaching, until they round the corner and spot the two of you.

"Shhit!" He draws the word out, as if he didn't mean to make a sound at all but it was too late - you and Taehyung were already jumping apart, startled by the intrusion. Tae makes eye contact with the owner of the voice over your shoulder, and you whip your head around in time to see a young man turn around on his heels and head right back from where he came from, mumbling an apology that's barely heard.

You turn back to Tae and he looks mildly amused, "Let's go to my room." He says, "We won't be interrupted."

He leads you to his bedroom and says that he'll be right back, and he shuts the door behind him, leaving you alone. Sitting on the bed waiting for him, you find yourself trying to resist the urge to stand up and run away. There's an excitement in the air but your nerves are getting the best of you since your kiss had been interrupted. Your head is reeling, and there's a great battle waging inside of you - should you stay or should you just bail and go back home? Should you follow through? Is this a mistake? Was this the right step to take next or were you setting yourself up for the most epic failure?

Tae returns after only a brief amount of time and he locks the door behind him before he moves to come sit next to you. "Sorry about that." He tells you, and when you don't reply, he cocks his head sideways, bending down a little to meet your downcast eyes. "Are you ok?”

You nod, but your throat is tight and you're too afraid to use your voice, knowing it will expose you. But Taehyung is intuitive and he picks up on it anyway, reaching out and affectionately grasping your hand. It's a simple gesture, one you're used to, but the taste of his tongue lingers in your mouth and you can feel the ghost of his lips pressing to yours and it makes even the most normal, platonic touches feel magnified. Like all your nerve endings have been rewired to be hypersensitive to him.

"If you don't want to do this, you don't have to." Tae tells you gently. "I understand if you don't. It was really stupid of me to assume this would be ok to just ask you out of the blue..."

"No," You tell him quickly, "It's not stupid, it's ok. It's fine. I mean...I'm just..."

"You're allowed to back down." He tells you, "I mean it. I won’t mind at all. I'll never mention it again and we'll just...pretend like it never happened."

You think to yourself that would be damn near impossible to do, realistically. Regardless you know that you aren't trying to back down. Not really. There's a lot of fears and doubts holding you back, and Taehyung knows you way too well for you to try and hide them from him. So you cringe even before you say the words out loud, but you force yourself to ask, "What's going to happen in the morning?"

Tae considers, his eyes never leaving your face. Cautiously, he asks you, "Can you trust me?" You don't hesitate to nod your head to let him know that yes, you absolutely trust him. "Then you don't need to worry about tomorrow." He says, and he sounds so calm and sure of himself and the situation, "You just need to trust me and relax. It's really no different than anything else between us, is it? I mean...it's just more. Nothing has to change. We’re just having some more fun together, that’s all."

Maybe if it wasn't for the fact that you were head over heels in love with him, you would have been reassured. Instead, you felt a stab directly in your heart, because as much as you liked what you had now, as much as you were afraid of losing him or being rejected, as much as you wanted more, you did want things to change.

Tae is waiting for you to say something and it happens all at once, but you find that the most overwhelming feeling that you can't push aside in the moment is that you don't want to disappoint him. You don't want to make him withdraw from you anymore than what he had in the past week, regardless of his reasons for doing it, so you swallow your pride and you put aside your fears and you try to smile at him warmly. 

"Ok." You tell him, "I trust you."

He studies your face carefully, trying to find resistance or hesitance in your eyes but he can feel nothing but honesty and maybe a little bit of fear coming from you in that moment. You think that maybe he's a little bit afraid too, and maybe that's normal because of the subject at hand and the repercussions of what this could possibly do to your friendship. But Taehyung doesn't feel resistance or hesitation from you because you had already long decided there didn't need to be any of that. You trusted him and he was absolutely right, after all - things didn't have to change. Not just because you wanted them to. That would be unfair to him.

"Just do me a favor," Taehyung tells you quietly, and you find yourself listening carefully, hanging onto every syllable he speaks and watching his lips form the words as he speaks again, "Keep in mind this is about making each other feel good. Just be honest with me, and talk to me. If I do something you don't like, I'll stop and we'll move on." He says, "At literally any point, if you tell me to stop for literally any reason, I will."

"I know." You tell him softly.

"You said before, that you kissed me back because it felt good?" He turns more to the side to face you now, his leg pulling up onto the mattress and bending at the knee between you. "Did you like kissing me earlier, too?"

You blush, nodding your head.

"Do you wanna kiss me more?" He asks you, smiling mischievously before he adds, "And maybe let me touch you...?"

"Ok," You're damn near ashamed of the girlish tone of your voice all of a sudden. It matches the skimpy little dress you wore especially for Taehyung tonight and doesn't do anything at all to help you feel more confident or ready for what's about to happen, but it makes Tae laugh a little bit and the sound, somehow, soothes your very soul despite everything. "Do you care if we turn the light out?" You ask him hopefully.

"Why?"

"Because, I feel shy." You admit, "Please?"

Probably just as much as Tae makes you want to give into him, you know that he has a similarly difficult time telling you 'no'. He doesn't hesitate to walk across the room and shut off the overhead light, even if all the while he's complaining that "Doing it with the lights out isn't any fun."

"Neither is hearing a grown man say 'doing it'." You tell him and he laughs, flopping down heavily on his side next to you, patting the spot on the mattress behind you, indicating that you should lay back with him. You hesitate, biting your lower lip nervously.

"You don't have to feel shy," Taehyung tells you. "It's just me."

"I know," You sigh heavily, "It's you."

The weight of your words settle uneasily in both of your stomachs as you lay back next to him, avoiding his gaze. Taehyung props himself up on one elbow and reaches out to toy with a strand of hair by your ear. The weight of the silence that falls between you is almost crushing. You want to tell him how you feel but instead you find yourself wishing that you were better. Nicer looking, funnier, kinder, easier to get along with, but most importantly, you find yourself wishing that you were braver.

Taehyung has definitely never looked more attractive, you think to yourself as he lays next to you shirtless, absentmindedly twirling a strand of your hair around his finger and then back off again. His eyes are scanning your face carefully and you want to hide, feeling the burning of a blush creeping over your cheeks, but he's so enticing to look at you can't turn away from him.

"I promise we'll have fun." He says, finally breaking the silence. A smile breaks across your face that you're unable to hide at his words, and you nod your head, focusing on the freckle on his bottom lip instead of his eyes.

"Mm, I bet." You reply quietly.

"So...you're not going to back down?" He asks.

"No." You tell him quickly, "I'm not backing down."

"You can." He reminds you again, "At any point." You nod your head, and he smiles, biting lightly on his lower lip before he shrugs in a coy sort of way, "You won't want to, though. You'll be begging me for it all the time after this."

The laughter that bubbles up out of you does well to shield your unease from yourself for the time being, and you relax a little bit more knowing without a single, minute, modicum of doubt that he wasn’t just bragging. You know he’s going to take care of you in this way, the same way that he had always done - with affection and such an exquisite attention to detail. You had no doubt that after tonight you’d be frequently wanting more.

You could tell Taehyung that every brain cell you possess is telling you not to do this, and ruin the moment. Or you could live in it, for once in your life. You could face your fears head on and dive into the deep end. You could do what feels good and you were very, very sure that being with Tae like this was going to feel very, very good. The positives far outweigh the negatives, and with his smile in front of you and giggles coming from you as he wags his eyebrows suggestively, you finally are able to flip the switch in your mind and you decide to throw all caution to the wind.

"Fuck it." You say out loud, and you lift your upper body from the bed and reach across for Tae, grabbing his face and pressing your lips tightly to his own. He's still smiling when you initiate the kiss, but it fades gently as his tongue traces along your bottom lip sensually within two beats of your heart.

Taehyung doesn't feel the need to be overly cautious after you initiate a kiss between you for the first time. It's a victorious sort of rumbling groan that comes from his chest as he pushes you onto your back underneath him as he leans over top of you. With the lights out in his room, all of your other senses are heightened and you can feel, smell, hear and taste nothing but Taehyung as he consumes your entire existence with nothing helping your vision but the pale moonlight just barely trickling in from the singular window in his messy room.

You press your tongue back into his mouth, tangling the muscle along with his own as he hums in approval. Then all at once he draws back from you and you're left blinking up at his silhouette in the darkness.

"I really hate having the lights out," Tae tells you and you can hear from the tone of his voice that he was sulking and pouting about it, "You can't even see who's gonna fuck you so good."

You scoff lightly, "I know it's you, stupid." You tell him, and you stretch briefly under him, luxuriating in the weight of his body on top of yours - his long legs and small waist, his broad shoulders and his chest pressed to yours. "I know you so well, Tae, I can feel that it's you."

"Oh yeah?" He asks you, as if it were a challenge of some sort, and then he's pushing your legs apart with his knees, nudging your thighs wide, and grinding his hips down into your center. You feel the thick, solid ridge of an unmistakable erection pressing directly onto your panties, your dress ridden so far up your waist by now you might as well not be wearing it. Taehyung grinds his hard dick against you through his sweatpants and you let out a small gasp as he chuckles, his lips against your ear, "Does this feel like the Taetae you know? Hm?"

You shake your head 'no' in the darkness, and Taehyung can't see it but he can feel it and he chuckles again, pressing a kiss just under your jaw. His firm erection pressing into you is an entirely new sensation, a side of Tae that you hadn't familiarized yourself with yet, and the prospect of being able to do that soon was making your head spin.

"I'll keep the lights out for now because you're shy," He tells you, "But next time I want the lights on. I want you to see every little thing that I do to you. Would that be ok with you?" You nod your head, and Taehyung murmurs softly, "You said you'd talk to me...tell me."

"Y-yeah," You reply, your voice shaky, thoroughly distracted by the feel of him pressing long and thick and rigid right up against your panties and the prospect that he’ll want to do this with you again, even before you get started. "Yeah, that'd be ok."

Taehyung can tell you're affected by this, and he playfully chuckles even as he grinds forward even harder, pressing so tightly right up against your clit, the friction was making you dizzy. Vaguely you're aware of him asking if you like the way that feels and you begin to nod your head wordlessly but you recall that he wanted you to be vocal, so you clear your throat, and start to tell him that yes, you do, but he shifts his hips, rocking them into you just right, and a moan interrupts your words.

Instantly, Tae stops, pushing himself up and in the pale light of the moon streaming through the curtains of his bedroom window, you can see that he's smiling down at you, amused and mischievous.

"I think that's the first time I've heard you moan." Tae says, and his hands smooth up your bare thighs, shoving your dress up around your waist, then his hand slips under it, fingers skimming along your ribs until he finds the cup of your bra , and he leans down and presses his lips to your neck, "How can I make you do it again?" He muses huskily, kissing down your neck until his lips are peppering light kisses over the tops of your breasts, his hand bunching in your dress from underneath and yanking it down, your bra exposed. His tongue snakes out and he licks the spot where your skin meets the material of your bra, dipping in ever so slightly before he pulls back and hums in question.

"Maybe if I take this off of you..." Tae mumbles.

You take the hint, sitting up a little so his steady hands can easily slip your dress over your head, and before you lay flat, one of his hands is pressing on your back, holding you upright against him, and Taehyung kisses you, nice and slow, while the fingers of his right hand unhook your bra. When you lay back down, you're thankful the lights are out, because even in the darkness you feel exposed, but Tae doesn't give you time to dwell on the feeling before he's leaning over you, pressing his chest to yours, and his pillowy lips are slotting over yours once more. He gently sucks on your bottom lip, and the warmth of your shared body heat is both soothing and lascivious - calming your soul while simultaneously lighting a fire in your belly.

Taehyung's hands had always been one of your favorite things about him; big and soft, with long, beautiful fingers and wide palms - he was so nice to hold onto but even nicer to feel him touch you. You knew from experience that Tae was skilled with his touch. How many nights had he gotten you to fall asleep by playing with your hair or rubbing your back, laying across his chest like his literal baby? To have him reach for your body in the ways that he was now, to feel his fingers skim across your nipples to harden them and the way he cupped the fullness of your breasts deliberately to make you feel good was altogether thrilling and intoxicating.

If Tae's goal had been to hear you moan again, he was definitely going about it the right way. Your breath quickened and you found yourself wishing you could see his mouth in the darkness as you felt him drag it down from your collar bone, coming closer and closer to your right breast with every soft kiss. You manage to keep yourself under control enough so that you don't moan out right just from the feel of his fingers teasing your nipples, contained to just heavy breaths but the very moment you feel his soft lips press a gentle kiss to the bud of your hardened nipple your mouth falls open in a quick gasp.

Always watching and listening, taking notes, Taehyung realizes that you're particularly sensitive in this area and he's cautious moving forward, not wanting to push your buttons too much too fast but your breast is soft and warm against his lips and he can't resist parting them and letting the tip of your breast fill his mouth for just a moment.

That's what does it, a gentle little moan that escapes from you and he's so delighted by it that he copies his movement, mouth opening again and this time, he laves over your nipple deliberately with his tongue flat, and you let out a longer, louder moan this time.

Taehyung reaches up and he kisses your lips almost like a reward for the sounds you made, and he sounds intensely excited as he tells you, voice low and husky, "It sounds like a fucking melody, you moan so beautiful for me."

Blood rushes to heat up your cheeks and chest as you blush at his words but Tae means it, he didn't say it at all to stroke your ego or because he thought you wanted to hear it. It's evident because he's immediately back at your breasts, kissing them and occasionally indulging in lavishing attention to your nipples. He's gauging your reactions very carefully, but he kisses, licks, and sucks at your breasts as if the feel of you against his mouth and tongue feels as amazing to him as it does to you - as if the sounds emitting from you are truly like music to his ears and he, the conductor.

After a particularly loud and desperate moan, you recall vaguely that Taehyung has a roommate now. So you put in an effort to try to be at least a little bit quieter so as not to wake him. But also because you don't want to sound too needy too quickly. It feels too fast to be this turned on but his mouth feels like heaven, and he's doing everything exactly right. Just enough of his lips and tongue, just enough focus on your nipples and his hands keep them covered when his mouth isn't doing the job, so you feel warm continuously despite how wet he's getting your chest with his eager mouth and the cool air in the room.

The steadfast pounding of your heart is loud, thunderous in even your own ears and with his mouth all over your chest, you're sure Taehyung can feel it. Your thighs saw together, in desperate need of friction after a few minutes. Tae seems content, focused on your right nipple, and he even moans ever so quietly as he latches onto your breast and sucks hard. You feel overstimulated briefly, but before it gets so bad that you want to squirm away from him, he stops, releasing your breast with a soft pop and then his mouth is on yours, lips swollen and wet, but it's his hand that captures your attention more fully.

Taehyung is dragging one hand up your inner thigh, his fingers inching slowly towards your panties. You invite the touch, spreading your thighs open to give him room to touch exactly where you want him to. His fingers are gentle as he presses soft kisses to your lips, nuzzling into your neck when he makes contact with your panties only to find them dampened by your arousal. His hands are so big, even just a gentle stroking of his first two digits through your underwear feels like so much contact already, and you can't help but to gasp, your hands gripping tight onto his forearms.

"What?" Tae asks, pulling away from your neck, keeping his hand still as he looks down at you in the darkness and speaks gently to coax you into being more vocal for him again, "Does that feel good?"

You nod your head, and when you speak your voice comes out small and simpering and entirely unlike your own, "Yes...it feels so good, Tae."

This time, he rewards you by stroking his fingers along your slit through your panties, applying the slightest bit of pressure. Your eyes have adjusted to the darkness in the room by now, and you know he's watching you as carefully as he can, his eyes are so big even in the darkness that you briefly wonder if he's nervous, too. He licks his lips as he stares down at you and in a fluid movement, his hand slips down the front of your panties and his long fingers curve to the shape of your sex, cupping you gently. If he was nervous at all you couldn't tell, because his actions felt bold and sure of himself.

At this, you curse not having the light on but you didn't want to interrupt what he was doing to mention it. Instead, you focused on the way he kept licking his lips, a habit he had that sometimes made him seem like a nervous puppy.

Taehyung's fingers were gentle as he stroked up your sex, directly over your slit, not pressing firmly enough to part your lips just yet. He was warming you up to his touch skillfully, and every move he made was that little bit more that pushed you towards an inevitable nirvana. You could feel it with every nerve ending when he presses two fingers on either side of your clit and tenderly rubs back and forth. You don't even try to stop the moan that burst forth from deep in your chest, your nails digging into his sides.

"Ohh," Tae groans, "I haven't even gotten started yet~" He chuckles against your collar bone and grazes his teeth very gently along your skin, and then his fingers dip down to the source of your wetness, and he carefully presses the tips of two fingers just barely into your entrance. Your chest is heaving up and meeting his own, heart to heart as he leans over top of you, and he presses further inside as you grind your tailbone firmly into the mattress.

"Fuck." You hiss, "Your f-fingers are so long." He pulls back, and you think briefly that maybe you’re a little bit overeager. It had been a long time since anybody else had touched you like this and Taehyung with his long, slender fingers was reaching places that you never could with your own hands.

"Wait until you see my dick." Taehyung tells you, but he's unable to get the sentence out fully before he bursts out into a wide grin and then you're both just laying there laughing together for a moment, while his fingers stroke deep inside of you and he rests the heel of his palm right against your clit.

"You're so dumb." You sigh in between bouts of giggles, thrashing a little bit under him, "But I fucking believe you, though." You wedge your arm between you, reaching for the front of his pajamas, "Let me see it."

"You won't be able to in the dark." Tae points out in an almost smug tone of voice.

"Can I touch it?" You ask, biting your lower lip to stifle a groan when he shifted his hand and was rubbing your clit steadily with his thumb.

He pumped two fingers shallowly in and out of your pussy and leaned back just a little, putting enough space between your hips so that you could reach down into his sweatpants. The first touch was your fingertips skimming over the velvety skin of his shaft, surprising you because he was laying, without underwear, fully hard in wait for you. You smooth the pads of your fingers down and around him, and stroke to the base and then very carefully back up, inch by inch, and you giggle again.

"Taehyung~" His name left your lips in a playful, delighted way that made his heart bloom in his chest. You had always assumed that he would be big but to have him in your hand, firm and throbbing, it was almost too good to be true.

He flexes his hips forward, thrusting into your hand to speed up your movements and his fingers match the pace, unbothered by your reaction to his dick as his head bows forward and bumps into yours.

"Ah, fuck.." He groans into your ear and you shiver all the way down to your toes, curling them into the mattress in a desperate attempt to ground yourself as he picks up the pace even faster.

You're all of a sudden hurling head first into a full body orgasm and once Taehyung realizes, he stops fucking into your tight grip and his focus is 100% on you. He presses deep inside of you and fucks you on his fingers, murmuring soft encouragements.

“Yeah, that’s it...that’s it. Cum for me.”

You feel yourself coming back down, calming from your high when Taehyung, turned on by the sight of you convulsing and gasping, decides he needs to slide your panties off in a big hurry and get his mouth on your dripping pussy.

Your thighs start to clamp shut, and you gasp as his tongue licks flat over your swollen clit. He pulls back, looking up at you in the darkness and from this new angle, with the shadows casting over your faces, you can't make out one another's expression. So you still, watching him watch you in the darkness, and then he spreads your pussy lips with one hand and licks you nice and slow.

"Oh, my god," You whimper, "Tae.."

"Too much?" He asks you quietly, his voice low and husky.

"Mm...a little." You mumble, "I like it, though."

"Fuck." He groans and his head leans over to rest on your inner thigh, and you just know that if the lights were on, he'd be staring at your cunt adoringly. "I like it, too."

"You do?" You ask him, a little bit surprised that he would say that because, in truth, you had just been laying there underneath him, feeling good, but you hadn't really given anything back to him yet.

"Yeah, your hand felt really nice. And you taste delicious." Tae tells you, and if you squint a little you can just make out his blissed out smile as he rests on your inner thigh, "I bet your pussy feels amazing."

Your heart does flips in your chest, but you manage to tell him in a somewhat even tone, "Come and find out."

He doesn't need to be told twice, and is standing and shedding his remaining clothes, his hands greedy as he feels you for any remaining clothes, wanting your skin fully bare under him. He fishes a condom from the bedside drawer and slides it down his shaft, giving himself a couple of slow strokes as you lay under him, legs spreading wide to welcome him.

"How do you want to do this?" Tae asks you, his voice low and soft and you're thankful to him for making this as easy as possible for you.

"This is fine." You tell him, scooting back so your head rests on the pillows a little bit more comfortably.

Tae shuffles forward on his knees until he's able to hunker down between your spread legs and cover you with his upper body. Laying a few inches farther up the mattress, the light from the moon coming through the curtains is across his face and you can see that he looks ever so slightly concerned as his hand brushes your hair away from your neck and lays it across the pillow delicately.

"You ok?" Tae asks you quietly, eyes staring so deeply into your own you're very sure that he can see your very soul.

"Yeah," You breathe, your hands clutching his sides and you gently tickle up his back with your nails, a movement you knew he liked a lot. "Are you ok?"

He chuckles, bumping his forehead tenderly into yours, "Mhm. I'm great, actually."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"You feel pretty great." You sigh, exposing your neck as his lips moved down from just below your ear to your shoulder. You lift your hips just a little, and feel him hard hovering above you. With one hand, you reach between your bodies and wrap your fingers around his shaft, guiding the tip to your entrance.

"Fuck, you feel so good." Tae groans, lifting his head from your shoulder and staring down between your bodies in the darkness, as if he was just hoping he could see himself slowly pushing inside of you.

It's a tight fit - it had been a while since you had taken anybody inside of you and Taehyung was thick enough that you felt the pressure of him stretching you open immediately, but the length of his cock seemed to go on forever. He stills, and you think that he's bottomed out but then he grunts and pushes forward just an inch or two more and your mouth falls open, a low groan escaping your lips.

"O-ohhh, Taehyung.."

"You like it?" He asks you with a chuckle, trailing his tongue up the length of your neck, biting onto your earlobe and pouting at you as he nuzzles into you adorably, "Tell me."

"Yes!" You gasp, "I lo...love it." You feel delirious and drunk on the sensation, being filled so fully and with a man in your arms who you care so goddamn much about.

It shouldn't make so much of a difference but it does. It's supposed to just be sex, a physical exchange of pleasure and nothing more, but it's evident that's not going to be the case the more that you let yourself get carried away with him like this. You knew you weren’t going to be able to separate sex and the way that you felt about him, but you let it get this far, and there was no turning back. Not when he filled you up so full and made you feel this incredible.

Taehyung begins to move inside of you and you feel your body heating up all over, a thin veil of sweat coating your skin and making everything between you feel deliciously slippery. You have to move him away from your throat, because he's panting so heavily against your skin that it feels like he's fogging you up, and you move him to your lips, kissing him deep and slow and messily.

You briefly think to yourself that, clearly, this was a mistake, because you're unable to put aside your head and, most importantly your heart in order to just feel him. But you don't have time to dwell on how much of a fuck up you are before Tae lifts his upper body off of yours, pressing his hands into the mattress by your head, changing the pace and the angle of his thrusts.

All coherent thoughts are wiped away when you feel a familiar stirring in your lower belly, a tightening in your muscles that makes even your toes curl as your legs come up to wrap around his lower back, holding him tightly against you.

"You're gonna make me cum, doing that." Tae gasps, and he tries to slow down a little because he wants it to last, but he can't stop chasing his high at this point.

The steady slap, slap, slap of skin hitting skin echoes around the room, mingling with his low groans and grunts, and your simpering moans and gasps for air. You're still trying to be at least a little bit quiet, hoping not to disturb his roommate but Taehyung is loud, unashamed.

He grunts out your name and then he's pushing your legs up by the backs of your knees, drilling into you so deep that you see stars. You're faintly aware of a wailing and it's when your throat begins to burn that you realize it's coming from you, and Taehyung hisses harshly down at you through clenched teeth, "Cum again, cum on my fucking cock."

The orgasm washes over you intensely, an earth shattering sensation that you feel with every nerve ending in your body, from your head to your toes. You convulse and twitch, push him and pull him, and eventually you lift your head off of the mattress and bite down on his shoulder harshly to stifle the sounds you’re making.

It's the bite that throws Tae over the edge with you, and his eyes roll back in his head as he cums, filling up the condom with harsh flexes of his hips rolling into yours. Taehyung's voice pitches up when he cums, and he sounds so good that you find yourself holding your breath to keep quiet and focus on his soft, desperate moans as he finishes.

When he rolls off of you and twists his hips to the side so he can remove the condom without making a mess, you breathe in deep, trying to control the frantic beating of your heart as your thighs squeeze together and you shiver.

"Fuck, that was amazing.." Tae sighs, turning briefly to reach over to the bedside table and click on the light. It illuminates across his naked body as he tosses the condom into the trash and lays back down, his eyes fluttering shut, chest heaving. "Really amazing."

You mean to agree with him, but your find yourself lost, distracted by the sight of his naked body in all it's glory splayed out in bed next to you. After a few seconds of silence, Tae's eyes open and he glances over at you curiously.

"Sorry," You tell him quickly when he catches you staring with a cocky smirk, "You're just...really good looking."

Tae chuckles and his brows raise, then he glances down at his cock, still rock-hard, and he flexes so that it bounces enticingly. "Want some more?" He asks you.

"No, no, no," You laugh, "I can't..."

But Taehyung knows he can get whatever he wants out of you, and he knows that you wouldn't be staring if you weren't interested, so he pulls you over on top of him, and rubs the bare head of his cock through your folds, pressing into you effortlessly from underneath you. You gasp, staring down at his chest and the way you can see his pulse pounding in his throat.

"Yes, you can.." Tae says softly, gripping your hips and encouraging you to ride him.

"Wh- oh fuck." You bow your head down, slumping over onto him even as your hips rise and fall on top of him, "What about another condom?"

"I won't cum so much the second time," He grunts, planting his feet on the mattress and thrusting up into you, increasing the pace, "I'll pull out. Promise."

You nod your head, fucked beyond ignorance because there's no way you would ever let any other guy you'd ever been with take you raw like this, especially not the first night you have sex. But this isn't any other guy. It's Taehyung, and you’re not the same person you were before you got here, anyway - tonight, you’re his.

He's bossy when he's underneath you, controlling the pace with his hands guiding your movements if he's not just blatantly fucking you himself while you hold on for dear life. The second time isn't as quick, and your legs grow tired long before either of you are ready to cum again, but it feels so nice that you don't want to stop. His hands grab onto your ass cheeks and Tae buries his face in your chest, licking and sucking and biting at your breasts and you grip his hair and keep him there, bouncing on his dick and moaning his name, chanting it like it's the only word you know how to speak.

When you feel yourself beginning to cum, you push him away, planting your hands firmly on his chest and grinding down onto his lap, stimulating your clit and working his cock at your own pace, twitching and biting your lip to stop from screaming. Taehyung watches you in awe, eyes flashing and teeth occasionally gritting when your nails dig into his chest.

You begin to still, and you're breathing heavy and covered in sweat but Taehyung looks at you like he's still just as needy, and you ask him wearily, "Do you want to cum again?"

"Yes." He smiles at you sweetly, "Do you want to lick up the mess you made? Can I cum in your mouth?"

You nod your head, exhausted by this point and willing to do anything he asks of you. So you slip him out of you with a groan and slide down his body, admiring the thickness of his thighs briefly before you wrap your fingers around his shaft and guide him into your mouth.

The taste of your own orgasm coats him, making him slippery and easy to take despite how dry your mouth feels. It's intoxicating, and it surprises you how much you like sucking the taste of yourself off of his velvety skin while he groans and tangles his hands in your hair and tells you how good your mouth feels.

This time, when Taehyung cums, he's mostly silent save for a few grunts, and you're thankful there isn't much of the bitter tasting cum that spills on your tongue, finding it easier to swallow. He grabs you by your arms and drags you up his body, rolling to the side and flinging his leg over your hips. Taehyung kisses you deep until the taste of cum fades from your lips and tongue, then he wraps you up in his limbs and snuggles in close.

"Wow, ___..." He murmurs into the crook of your neck, using you as his own personal pillow and locking you in place with his arms and legs. "You're amazing."

Taehyung only moves away from you once, and only to turn off the bedside lamp, but then he’s wrapped up with you and falls asleep almost instantly after he gets himself comfortable. He leaves sporadic kisses on your neck and shoulder and before long, his soft breath is nice and steady and his grip around you is a bit more lax, and you know he's good and asleep.

You untangle your limbs, knowing he won't wake up without a good fight when he's this deeply asleep, and sit naked on the edge of his bed, glancing around his room as a fog of unease washes over you.

You feel nervous and you know waking up naked with Tae the next morning is bound to be embarrassing or awkward, so you slip on your panties and steal one of his shirts from the closet. Your body doesn't feel like your own, like Taehyung had claimed you tonight and somehow, you were left as nothing but a hollow shell of a person, nothing more than the mistake that you were very certain you had just made.

Thoughts were swimming in your head when you laid back down, attempting to keep your distance from him as he slept clinging to a pillow, hoping he didn't wake up and want to cuddle because you felt awkward and like a major fuck up.

Sleep was impossible. You laid there for an hour or more watching him sleep and wondering how in the world you could fix this come tomorrow, or if there was no salvaging the remains of your friendship after this, when you finally decided you needed to get out of bed for a drink of water and a quick trip to pee.

You're lost in your thoughts as you leave Tae's bedroom, leaving his door open wide as you head to the bathroom first. You finish up quickly washing your hands, avoiding your reflection in the mirror over the sink, pretending for a moment that you're someone else. That you're just one of the nameless, faceless girls that Taehyung had hooked up with over the span of the time that you'd known him. That you aren't yourself and that tomorrow wasn't going to reveal that you had ruined the one good, consistent thing in your life just for sex.

You don't hear Taehyung's roommate leaving his room and reacting with quiet disgust as he reaches in and shuts Tae's bedroom door, not wanting to see him lying naked and freshly fucked. You don't hear him head into the kitchen just a few paces ahead of you, so you're startled whenever you walk into the kitchen yourself and see someone's back as they lean down to get a bottle of water out of the fridge.

A loud gasp startles him into a quick standing position and he bangs his head on the freezer door, hissing and pulling away to see you standing there, hand on your heart.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I forgot anybody else wa-" You stop mid sentence, studying the face of the young man standing before you, rubbing the bump on his head. Something about him was familiar. His nose...the way his eyes were so big and round. It reminded you of someone from a distant memory, someone from a lifetime ago.

"...noona?"

The sound of his voice and that word specifically makes it all click in your head, and your mouth falls open in shock, your brain unable to form any words as you stare across the kitchen at him.

"Is that you, ___?" He asks, and he drops the hand rubbing his head and offers you a brief smile. "Seriously?"

You cover your mouth with both hands and try not to squeal out loud, rushing forward and flinging your arms around his neck. "Jungkook!!" You can't help the way your voice comes out in nearly a squeak of delight and surprise, hugging him as if your very life depended on it.

The younger man is cautious about hugging you back for only a second, when you pull away and cup his cheeks in both of your hands, squishing them together and you coo at him, "Look at you! You're all grown up, Jungoo!"

The nickname and the way you hold his face melts any resistance in him and he smiles, absolutely beaming at you, and hugs you back tightly to his chest. You bounce lightly as he embraces you again and he lifts you up off of your tip toes, causing you to squeal in delight and kick your legs back.

"You're so big, Jungkook!" You laugh in disbelief, "When did that happen?! I almost didn't recognize you!" He lowers you back to your feet and you step away, shaking your head in disbelief.

"Don't wake up Tae-hyung." Jungkook tells you in a hushed tone, but his smile is brighter than the sun as he looks over at you, and you feel tempted to squish his cheeks once more, but refrain yourself.

"He's a heavy sleeper, don't worry about him." You tell Jungkook briefly, "So...you're Tae's new roommate?"

"Yeah." He rubs the back of his neck a little awkwardly, shuffling his feet and avoiding your gaze suddenly, "Yeah, uh...I just moved from back home. I didn't know you lived here, too."

"Oh, I don't live here." You tell him, "I'm pretty close by, though. How's your parents? Your brother?" The excitement in seeing someone from your hometown is completely overshadowing everything else, his awkward demeanor and the fact that you're just standing there in one of Taehyung's shirts and your panties.

Jungkook finds himself thoroughly distracted and flustered by the whole situation, especially considering the fact that he had spent the last few hours trying to drown out the sounds of you fucking his new roommate with loud music blaring through his headphones, which sometimes wasn't enough to stifle the noises that came from Tae's bedroom earlier.

"Yeah, they're good. Everyone's good." You realize he's avoiding looking at you now, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why.

"I'm really glad to see you, Jungkook." You tell him sincerely, now matching his levels of awkwardness as you try and tug the hem of Taehyung's shirt down farther over your bare thighs, "It's so crazy that you moved in here, of all places."

He chuckles, "Yeah...pretty crazy."

"I was just...going to get a drink of water," You tell him, "Sorry if I woke you."

"I haven't been to sleep yet." He tells you briefly, and he offers you the bottle of water he had gotten out for himself, still unopened. "You better get back to your boyfriend.."

"Oh..." There's a sinking feeling in your gut at his words, and you know he doesn't mean to hurt you, he can't possibly be aware of the situation and what was happening and in truth, anybody would think that way after catching the two of you making out earlier and hearing what was going on in Tae's room shortly after. Not to mention you're standing in your underwear in the kitchen in only Tae's shirt. It’s an easy mistake, but it doesn’t hurt any less.

"Tae and I...we're just friends."

Jungkook's brows shoot up and he turns back to the fridge in a hurry, unable to hide his expressions well but he doesn't want you to see that he's as shocked as he is. He gets another bottle of water for himself, being careful as he stands back up, muttering quietly, "Oh...sorry. I misunderstood."

"Don't worry about it." You tell him with a wave of your hand, "I, um...better get some sleep. I'm glad to see you again, Jungkook."

"Me, too." He smiles, "Goodnight, noona."

"Goodnight, Jungkookie."

[mominurrahman66]

at বানিজ্য মেলা - পূর্বাচল https://www.instagram.com/mominurrahman_raton/p/CYtm-sbJpc3/?utm_medium=tumblr

[suddhayannnn]

"𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐳𝐞𝐫𝐨." 🖤💫 @__s.o.u.m.y.a.d.e.e.p.__ ❤️📸 (at Hyatt Regency Kolkata) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYtm-Wfhrhx/?utm_medium=tumblr

[wesleyalvesds]

No princípio era aquele que é a Palavra. Ele estava com Deus e era Deus. João 1:1 https://www.instagram.com/wesleya.ds/p/CYtM-e6rIuj/?utm_medium=tumblr

[demojiang]

2022-01-04 今晚的夜空 看不到猎户星座 Tonight‘s night sky Can’t see Orion #demostation #shotoniphone #vsco https://www.instagram.com/p/CYTm-KHv-2R/?utm_medium=tumblr

[1mymemine]

どうでもいいことですが、こういうパンが大好きです(夜ごはん後に一袋完食) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYTme-hvr4q/?utm_medium=tumblr

[novikov82]

Памятник природы «Сходненский (Тушинский) ковш», Московский природный парк «Тушинский», пойма реки Сходни. Москва, Южное Тушино, Северо-Западный административный округ, 7 ноября 2020 года. #Москва #Сходня #Сходненскийковш #парк #Тушинскийковш #паркТушинский #овраг #Москва2020 #город #архитектура #осень #осень2020 #природа #деревья #autumn #пейзаж https://www.instagram.com/p/CYTM-qioPzE/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mutineerbay]

Who are you? Comment below👇🏴‍☠️👇 https://www.instagram.com/p/CYTM-RqLLav/?utm_medium=tumblr

[thotantics]

😌

[thotantics]

⚤   pairing — reader + Oh Sehun (exo)

✎ word count — 1,715

✦ genre — smut, angst, drabble

✗ warnings  — graphic description of sex

[A/N] the moment i saw this request, i knew it was perfect to be a continuation of this post. i’m fully into fuckboy!sehun im ngl but he needed a redemption and im just not great with angst :’)

[Requests] Do you like it? I bought it just for you... + I’m still mad at you. w/ Sehun please 🖤

With the echo of his harsh final words still ringing in your ears, you said for the next few days that you would never again let him use you; never again would Oh Sehun make you feel like you were unworthy.

It was nothing but a brief texting session that ended with you half way across town from your apartment to meet up with him. The cold night air was biting at your cheeks, and you huddled down into your heavy coat, glancing farther up the street at the front of the hotel Sehun had instructed you to meet him at.

In the elevator on the way up to his floor, you were having yet another spell of serious doubt. Clearly, Sehun had just played you the way he always had done and you were willingly giving into him. Again.

In an alternate universe, you would tell him exactly why you were angry with him and you would tell him that you hope you never see him again as you storm out. In that timeline, Sehun maybe would learn a lesson about how to treat people and maybe the next girl would be luckier than you had been.

In this timeline, however, Sehun opened the door and he was nearly nude and instead of telling him all of the concrete reasons you were ending this sordid affair, you just...stared.

He smirked.

“Hi, babe.” He greets you, and the pet name sends a dull ache throbbing in your chest with every beat of your heart. “Did you miss me?”

He tilts his head and the smile he gives you is almost mocking, but dammit the truth was yes. You absolutely had missed him. You don’t give him the satisfaction of letting him know, however. Even still, you’re unable to recall any of the things you had meant to tell him in the time since you last saw him.

Something about ending this, but it was definitely less important than the fact that your heart was pounding in your chest and after all this time feeling dead inside without him, now he was here, you were alive again.

His chiseled torso is bare and is fully blocking any and all coherent thoughts from your head except, maybe...what it feels like to kiss him there, right at the clavicle, to feel his heart beating in his veins under your lips, to hear him sigh.

“Come inside,” Sehun tells you, snapping you out of your fantasies as you look him over, and he steps aside to let you in. “We need to talk.”

Alarms go off in your head at those four little words. Heart sinking, you brush past him to get inside struggling to regain control of your thoughts and emotions.

He’s not about to end this. You are. Once and for all. It had been a long time coming and if anybody was going to put a stop to the madness, it had to be you. Now. Enough was enough.

Turning on your heel when you make it to his living room, you open your mouth to end it, “This has to sto-”

Before you can even complete a sentence, you’re faced with the sight of Sehun holding out a little gift bag, an even smaller box with a bow, and a box of chocolate covered strawberries. The sight stuns you into silence and you stand there, mouth hanging open like a fish out of water, gawking between Sehun and the gifts he’s presenting to you.

The more seconds that pass while you stand there looking at him, the more he looks...awkwardly and genuinely vulnerable. After a while, his shoulders slump, and he lowers the gifts a few inches, “I’m just...trying to say that I’m sorry.”

Your eyes widen and you shake your head, “You must think I’m stupid.”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” Sehun explains briefly, “I know I’ve been selfish and cruel. My intention wasn’t...I only...” He stops, sighs, then he turns and deposits all the gifts haphazardly on the coffee table. “I didn’t mean for us to develop these feelings for each other. I was just having fun. I thought that you were, too. Genuinely, I’m sorry.” He gestures at the things he deposited on the coffee table and turns away with a noncommittal shrug. “That’s yours, if you want it.”

You hesitate, looking from Sehun to the table and back again, then you inch forward and pick up the gift bag first, peering inside. The lacy garment you pull out doesn’t do much to quell your anger, and you lift your gaze back to Sehun, glaring. “Seriously?”

“Do you like it?” He asks hopefully.

“Do you think you can win me over this time with fucking lingerie, Oh Sehun?” You’re aghast, “How fucking vapid do you think I am?”

“I thought it would look nice on you...” He frowns, “I didn’t- I just wanted to be nice, I didn’t mean anything by it. Besides, I thought girls liked Victoria’s Secret?”

You roll your eyes.

“Well, that’s not all!” He protests, “Open the other one before you decide I’m even more of an asshole. And I got you chocolate, too.”

With a sigh, you pluck the box with the bow off of the table and tug the lid off. Inside is a necklace with a dainty pendant. It had been on display in a shop weeks earlier when you had first seen it. It wasn’t your typical style, but you had been drawn to the beauty of the necklace, the elegance you wished that you carried was evident in the accessory and at the time, you had been smitten by it.

You couldn’t afford it even if you had skipped that month’s rent, and you had left it behind at Sehun’s insistence to rush to the restaurant before your reservation was missed. At the time, you had chalked it up to one more of the many reasons Sehun had been cold towards you, heartless and uncaring even to let you simply stop and window shop and dream of a life where you were the kind of person to wear such an item.

“I bought it for you.” Sehun tells you quietly, “I remembered you looking at it back then and after we left, I took a picture of it and sent for it. It took some time before I got it, mainly because I was too afraid what it meant if I got this for you, if I allow myself to be open with you.” He sighs, “I hoped that this was some sort of symbolic gesture that would make you understand without me having to tell you myself. I’m a coward, Y/N, and I’m truly sorry that my cowardice has hurt you.”

You’re rendered speechless for a long while. So long, in fact, that Sehun has given up waiting for a response and he leaves, crossing the room to the kitchen area of the condo, pulling a bottle of whiskey from the bar. He downs one shot and is pouring a second before you finally find your voice.

“I didn’t realize that you...were paying any attention.” You tell him softly, staring at the necklace nestled in the cute little box in your hands.

“Of course I pay attention to you.” Sehun places the whiskey on the bar heavily so the liquid within sloshes, and he bows his head down and leans into the bar on his hands. “I love you.” He says it to the floor, unable to look at you but the words draw your attention fully to him.

You drop the box with the necklace on the table with the rest of his gifts and storm across the room to the bar area, stepping around it as Sehun lifts his eyes from the ground to peer at you questioningly.

“Tell me you love me again.” You say to him the same words he said to you before, when you fucked last, when you opened yourself up to him and he shot you down. Only this time, it was his heart that was on the line. You felt for the first time that you were in control.

“Tell me.” You repeated, but your voice was filled with emotion.

“I wanted to hide from you, but I see you. Your heart. And I love you. I’m sorry that I was so afraid of what that means, but I do.” Sehun says, “I love y-”

The final word was cut off by your lips, your arms flying around his neck and your body crashing into his chest as you kissed him with everything in you. All this time feeling worthless and stupid for letting Sehun play you, this had been what you had needed from him - vulnerability, honesty, reciprocation.

As you kissed his arms wound around your waist and you felt his tongue brush your lips and you pulled back, breathing unevenly as you stared into his eyes. “Again.”

“I love you.” He said within a heartbeat, zero hesitation and the slightest smile ghosting on his handsome face.

There’s a mad rush to get out of your clothes suddenly. Your hands are working together to rid your bodies of the unwanted garments in between heavy kisses and desperate gasps of air. You turn and attempt to jump up on the counter once most of your clothes are out of the way, palming his erection and attempting to guide him inside but Sehun shakes his head.

“Not here.” He mumbles against your throat, “The bedroom.”

Your heart feels like it’s blooming in your chest as he wraps your legs around his waist and carries you to bed. You keep kissing him, hands in his hair, lips attacking every inch of his face, neck and shoulders that you can reach before he lays you down and climbs over you, hips flexing to slide his cock between your slick folds.

“I’m still mad at you.” You tell him as he straightens up between your legs and he looks down at you, brows knit together in concern briefly, but you grasp his cock and guide him to your entrance and Sehun groans.

“I’ll make it up to you.” He says, “I swear.”

And with that, he presses himself inside of you and nothing else matters.

[thotantics]

Hi!! I know this is kinda random, but what do you think about moodboards for fics??

hi its ok!! ive used moodboards thrice now 😍 im not good at making them but others have made them for me, and i think theyre great!! im a very visual person so its really really cool to have someone put the vibes of a fic into a moodboard imo 😍😍😍

[thotantics]

I absolutely don’t write enough Taetae but I’m so happy to remedy that today

[thotantics]

Hi, I was wondering if you were planning on continuing Can you trust me (even if it's in the distant future hahah no pressure take as much time as you need) If not that's okay too. Have a nice day💕

idk when this was sent bc I never got a notif and just saw it from mobile as I'm in bed but!

yes I have every intention of bettering and continuing on with cytm!! 😭

[thotantics]

Do you have a to do list rn?

oh god, anon. i have a three page document filled with a summary of each of the 43 things sitting in my inbox right now. i have 13 drafts here on tungle.com waiting for me to finish writing them.

presently, the things i’ve prioritized in the last two weeks have been as follows:

a jinyoung oneshot with an explosive fight and subsequent intense makeup sex (not requested)

a jaebeom oneshot where he comes home late from tour, with bonus pregnant reader bc i’m soft (requested)

cytm chapter 3

two reactions (got7 & bts, but only bc they’re easy n good practice)

[thotantics]

how many requests are you working on? and...u probably hate this question but when will you MOST possibly open requests?

i was working on cytm chapter 3 occasionally the last few days without internet but right now this second im not working on anything :/// which isnt to say im like done bc im a whore and i will Always write what im into but the lack of inspiration for the last (almost) week has been a bitch on my creativity. give me time to catch up w my faves and ill be back on my bullshit easy peasy 😅

as for your second question i really just dont know. i tried to control the amount of requests last time i opened them so i didnt get overloaded and i still ended up way overloaded. i have a lot of fun things i eventually REALLY wanna post but yeh. idk my guy.

hmu and let's talk ab it maybe a request i already have waiting can be added to whatever u got for me. maybe it'll kick my ass into gear and give me that spark of inspiration back who tf knows