#cynic: yuha

[loveurn]

bittersweet, oh love.

“you’re still here?”

it’s obviously not meant as harsh as it sounds. but it comes out judgmental anyway, because yuha’s brows are knitted close together when she walks into the studio, americano in her hand and jaw slack at the image of her senior on the couch. 

kang is struggling to get himself together, back aching from the position he’d slept in, and eyes adjusting to the light suddenly flooding the studio. suddenly finding a passcode and lock for the studio sounds like a good idea. though, even then samuel would find a way in. as the youngest of the producing team he bounces from which of his seniors he likes to gather advice from and today - and it’d probably be harder to explain the situation to the younger but yuha. yuha is much too perceptive and kang is suddenly wishing for the presence of the hyperactive male or even donghyun with all his ideas and insecurities.

‘did you - did you sleep here?’ the room certainly smells slept in and even though some producers have spare pillows and blankets for late nights, this position looks far too comfortable to be accidental. yuha’s arms fold over her chest and she keeps her space at the door occupied in respect for his space and for him to get himself together. 

‘yeah the - we were working on the kiddo’s album.’ “doe’s album released last week.” kang had attended the release party. ‘right well--’ it’s not often a staff member gets to see the kang fumble over his words and as iconic as this moment is, it leaves a dirty taste in yuha’s mouth. any thoughts of teasing or commenting on how he’s getting old don’t quite fit right.  “did you session all night? with who? donghyun? did he keep you up in here for advice? or was it daehan escaping practice duties?” the man was well known for his strict studio sessions but also the abundance of advice that poured whenever someone such as a trainee or someone with surprising musicality bat their eyes towards him. he was softer than he realized. apparently to the point of neglecting his own health. yuha has half a mind to discuss donghyun’s sphere of producers with his managers as well as daehan’s practice regimen with his instructors. but she waits, because kang is finally - finally sitting and running a hand through his hair, admittedly he looks like he needs a long bath and coffee.

‘doe had some more ideas so i let her session late, i was editing some of the works for her and i must’ve lost track of time.’ it makes sense. it’s actually very on par for what he usually does, kang known for throwing himself into projects in the way most abc soloists are known for doing. still - it’s well known that kang has become rather attached to the new starlit of the company, her vocal tone being right up his alley and his decision to train her directly shocking nearly half the company.

it paid off though, the album being one of their most solid, diverse projects in a while. it’s because her genre is his style, and no one really questioned it. doe’s managers often have to drag her out the studio and they have to cut sessions when they overlap with other trainees or artists and meetings but it’s never been a problem. it shouldn’t be a problem.

but yuha has known kang longer than any trainee in the company, longer than the people who hired and brought him onto the team. so she watches the way he boots up his computer, mechanically checking for files like his eyes don’t burn for the comfort of a pillow and a bed.

“does your wife know you’re here?”

there it is. kang doesn’t budge to show that the words have any effect. he keeps the typing on the keys steady even if he’s just moving up and down the track lists. he keeps his hands busy, his eyes reading and picking up beats that occupied his mind last night. 

‘she knows.’ “she knows you’re here or she knows you’re sleeping in the studio?” ‘consider she’s the one who doesn’t want me home right now, both.’

this is too much, it’s much too much for someone who hasn’t had their coffee but yuha knows this is the only time to get it out. it’s a cheap tactic but she’d had a hunch that he’d been spending longer than necessary in the studio and she’s worried. it’s why she took samuel’s offer and came on her own accord, knowing if samuel came they’d be occupied for another two days of this - mess.

“she kicked you out?” kang and his wife had problems. problems that stemmed from disagreements, resentments they went into marriage with, but it’s never built into this. sure he spent time away from home in the studio, sure he could be an escape at times, but not like this. the scoff that leaves his lips is answer enough that there is more to this than the normal marital problems. the only times kang gets this tense, really this tense is when discussing his marriage.

‘she seems to think i have a home elsewhere so she wouldn’t consider it kicking out.’

“explain.” so yuha takes a step inside, the door closing firmly behind her.

‘put simply? she doesn’t like how much time i spend here.’ “it wouldn’t be the first time yo spend time here though---” ‘her words were ‘at least you have the decency to fuck them there.’

yuha sputters, the words catching her off guard and coffee spurting from her lips. if there’s anything kang isn’t - he’s not oozing sexual activity. she knows the look very well and she’d definitely notice the change in him.

“excuse me? them? who does she think you’re fu----- oh.”

oh.

“that’s -- she’s - a whole decade younger than you.” ‘as if i had time to explain that while she screamed.’

it’s not unheard of, though yuha feels bad for thinking of it, it’s not completely foreign. the thing is, people who didn’t really know kang were probably prone to these thoughts, especially with his budding fascination with their newest artist. it was impossible, it was entirely and utterly impossible and a little disturbing to imagine but she remembers - kang and his wife do not understand one another at all. so the increased nights spent preparing for the album and even attending a release party, he’d become a close mentor to the younger woman and to the wrong pair of eyes - to the hazy pair of eyes it could seem ( however impossible ) it could seem, as if something else was going on.

“this is a little disturbing.” ‘don’t i know that.’

he’s discussing it rather nonchalant, though he might’ve had time to process this. he might’ve already vented his frustrations in his own way. yuha wonders just how long this has been going on. 

 “you need to go home, sleep in your bed.” ‘don’t i know that too? if i go home it’s to a riot.’ “better a riot to straighten out than nothing at all.” ‘you don’t know my wife.’ “no, but i know you.” it’s unhealthy and he’ll avoid the confrontation for as long as he can which will only end up with the studio smelling and him surviving on the cafeteria food and coffee until he eventually knocks out. that’ll be a story and yuha’s trying to prevent that. “talk to her.” ‘and say what? i’m not screwing my mentees? i shouldn’t have to.’ “apparently you need to. it’s obvious you have to do something.” it’s obvious there’s more there that needs to be unearthed. yuha doesn’t know all of it but she knows that with his nature it’ll just sit and fester, kang is a straightforward person so if he sees no problem and it isn’t brought up he won’t address it. he believes the accusations false, ludicrous so he doesn’t want to discuss it, and his wife? who knows what’s going through her mind. “besides, what happens if she starts sharing gossip with friends about this? you need to talk to her.”

it’s another cheap trick, using company status and the well-being of the artists to guilt him, but it’s probably all that will work given the situation. 

‘jesus - you don’t think she would.’ “i think it’s not a chance to take.”

if there are any gears, she can see them start to turn now. he’s unfolded the ends of his hoodie from his face and let his head free from the hoodie. kang’s not the most stylish guy, he doesn’t quite stand out intentionally but he’s lanky, tall and seeing him so shrunk and agitated in the chair doesn’t sit well with yuha and it’s definitely going to be noticed by others - if it hasn’t been already. 

‘alright...i’ll go home today.’ “you’ll go home and talk to her.” ‘i’ll go home and try to talk to her.’

it’s good enough. so, she turns on her heel to open the door. tunes have started to play from the computer and it’s either an indication that he needs his space right now or he’s feeling better. yuha won’t try to decode it she’s done enough for the day.

“i’ll go get that extra large americano for you.”

his response is a grunt, the closest to a thanks she can get. so she runs with it.