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nolookfive · 7 years ago

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i will be your home, keep you warm when it’s cold

okay so! this one is for @dmigod because i wanna make her cry, @fourdrinkamy for giving me the idea to roll with the life calendar thing and also @elsaclack because i had a mental block and then i went back to read her fics and motivation hit me like a ton of bricks so thank u wizard em! cya later if you wanna yell at me for this then you know where to find me.

Jake doesn’t understand how his life manages to find loopholes to screw him over. He’s been through pain before; the pain of his father leaving, the pain of being separated from Amy for six months in the inexplicably cold heat of Florida, the pain of being separated from Amy again in the hellhole that was prison. He knows Amy felt that same pain; she told him about it one Tuesday night after a long stressful day where nothing was going right and an emotional breakdown was on the cards after Scully spilled a jar of coffee beans everywhere.

He knows she felt it. And he knows, just like him, she hasn’t felt this type of pain before. And he wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, ever.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Exactly seven months and four days after their wedding, Amy sits on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the counter impatiently. Her hands twitch, resisting the urge to reach up and twist her hair into wild braids.

It wasn’t as if they didn’t want children. They’d had that talk well before they got engaged. It was more the fact that Amy wanted to at least become a lieutenant before they even considered trying. Jake was aware of this and fully understanding - he’s been around her life calendar for years now. He knows what her plan is and he respects it.

But things on her life calendar haven’t necessarily gone fully to plan. Marriage was further down the line and that happened sooner than she expected. And a baby? Well, to be fair, they hadn’t exactly been very safe lately. By the time her second alarm went off at 6:45am, Jake’s hands would already be tugging her underwear down her legs, his lips ghosting over her neck.

“Who cares if we��re not at work on time?” he’d mumble as her third alarm went off, capturing her moans with his lips. The only problem with that third alarm, though, is it would be the same time she takes her birth control. And when she’s preoccupied in...certain ways, she tends to be just a little bit forgetful.

But this is first time she’s been over a week late.

She lets out a huff, standing up to see how much longer she has to wait when he phone lets off a jarring ring, signalling the end of the two minutes. She quickly turns it off and takes a deep breath, reaching for the small white stick when suddenly the bathroom door opens and Jake comes barreling in.

“Hey babe, have you seen my-” he stops, his eyes immediately drawn to the packaging next to the sink and the test just out of Amy’s reach. She stares at him, panic setting in as she watches him process exactly what she’s doing.

“Is that - is that what I think it is?”

Amy swallows. “Yeah.”

“Is it - I mean, are you-”

“I - I don’t know. I was just about to check.”

He can tell she’s freaking out, her eyes as wide as a deer in the headlights. He cautiously takes a couple of steps towards her and reaches for her hand, his thumb running circles into her palm. She looks up at him then, her heart slamming against her chest, and she thinks about this minuscule piece of plastic sitting behind her, potentially holding a result that could change their lives.

“Hey,” he says softly, his other hand stroking up and down her arm. “It’s okay.”

“I...” she starts, then shakes her head. “If it’s positive - I mean, the life calendar-”

“Amy, the life calendar hasn’t exactly gone to plan, has it?” he interrupts, holding up his left hand pointedly, a plain gold band sitting on his ring finger. “I mean - we wanted this to happen at some point, right?”

“Right, but-”

“But what?”

“What if I can’t do it?”

Jake stares at her incredulously. “Are you insane? You’re Amy. Remember that jar of Armenian pickles Charles had in the fridge last week that he claimed was impossible to open?”

“Are you seriously comparing this situation to Charles’ lack of strength?”

“Oh my god.” Jake rolls his eyes. “The point is, you did what no one else could. You’re strong as hell. And if you think you can’t do that,” he points to the test, “I know you don’t like being told you’re wrong but in thiscase, you’re wrong.”

She studies him for a moment, then closes her eyes and leans against him, her forehead resting against his collarbone. “It might not even be positive,” she mumbles.

“Only one way to find out,” he replies, “do you want me to check it?”

“Yeah.” He pulls away, kissing her forehead and reaches around behind her, picking up the white stick. She’s scared, anxious, nervous, and somehow excited all at once. She watches him as he holds the stick up, his eyes scanning the length of it before looking intently at the spot that would change everything. His lips curl into a small smile as he turns the stick around.

And she’s met with the tiniest pink plus sign she’s ever seen.

“Looks like you’re gonna be a mom,” Jake says, watching her eyes well up as his smile gets bigger.

She can’t respond, the tears falling freely as she stares at the test incomplete awe. She has less than a second to compose herself before the excitement kicks in and she lets out a soft laugh, Jake’s arms going around her waist and pulling her to him tightly.

“We’re gonna be parents, babe,” he whispers into her hair, his lips pecking the skin behind her ear. She’s still speechless, wondering how two steps on her life calendar managed to happen in less than a year when she thought she’d had everything planned out. Jake leans back, his hands coming up to cup her face and kiss her gently. She melts into him, her hands curling against the collar of his hoodie, pulling him closer to her.

“We’re actually having a baby,” she says, more to herself as a confirmation that holy shit this is actually happening.

“Yeah we are.” Jake lets his hand drift down to her stomach. “You can do this, Ames,” he whispers, kissing her again. “I know you can.”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

They tell their parents first, Jake’s in person and Amy’s over Skype. Camila Santiago instantly bursts into tears the second Amy holds up a picture from their first scan, their baby barely visible at only seven weeks but it’s there.

“Now, Amy, you need to start eating more fruit and vegetables. This way, your baby will be a girl and we need more women in this family, mija!” she cries, clapping her hands.

Needless to say, they ended that call fairly quickly(mostly due to Amy’s sudden lack of patience and the waves of irritation that have hit her in the last two days).

Karen and Roger are much more tame, letting out a collective gasp as Jake hands them the ultrasound photo. Roger slaps a hand against Jake’s back while Karen settles on the sofa next to Amy, studying the fuzzy print.

“Looks like you’re gonna be a dad just like me, bud!” Roger exclaims. Jake resists the urge to tell him to fuck off, ignoring the rage building up inside him when he shoots a look over at Amy.

“You’ll be better,” she mouths, giving him a small smile.

They tell Captain Holt next.

There was no build up to it, Jake had insisted that Holt doesn’t appreciate beating around the bush (Amy should know this, she’s halfway through binder number two of their mentoring program) so when they sat down in his office one Thursday morning, the easiest thing for all of them was to just throw it out there.

“Amy’s pregnant!” Jake blurts out. The room goes quiet, Holt looking back and forth between them, briefly glancing at Amy’s stomach hidden beneath her new navy blazer she intentionally bought one size larger.

“Congratulations,” he spoke, “make sure you take it easy from now on.”

“Don’t worry, babe,” Jake whispers as they leave his office, “he’s definitely stoked that his two best detectives got it on.”

“Shut up,” she groans, slapping a hand against her forehead.

And finally, they tell the squad.

Charles had organised another detectives-only weekend away, this time at a holiday home owned by Genevieve’s distant cousin. By this stage, Amy is nine weeks pregnant. She’s been feeling nauseous for the last week and a half, and every second day has brought her headache after headache. The small bump beneath her shirt isn’t super noticeable but she feels it, absentmindedly letting her fingertips trace over the hard skin when no one else is watching.

She’s sitting at the island in the kitchen talking to Terry about an old case when she glances over at Gina, who is staring at her with narrowed eyes. Amy instantly knows what she’s looking at, she can see Gina doing the math in her head - the sick day she had the week before, orders of decaf coffee, denying free sushi from the deli down the street - and Amy can almost see a literal light bulb flashing above her head. She knows.

Gina smirks, disappearing into the kitchen and emerging less than a minute later holding two full wine glasses. “Alright, girl,” she says, plopping down on the stool, “which Amy are we going to see this year? I’m personally thinking Nine-Drink Amy should come out of her cave. Don’t get me wrong, Eight-Drink Amy is an icon, but we are minus a horse so we’ll have to make do without her.”

Amy glares at Gina as she slides one of the glasses in her direction, knowing she has to think of an excuse and think of it quickly.

“Actually,” she begins, sliding the glass back towards Gina, “It’s...only 4 o’clock. Some would say it’s too early.”

It’s code. Don’t say anything.

“Too early? Come on, Santiago, we’re on holiday!” Terry exclaims. “Treat yourself!”

“What are you guys talking about?” Jake asks, a slice of pizza in hand as he heads towards the fridge for another beer.

“Just trying to offer old Amy here a drink but for some reason, she’s not in the mood for an alcohol buzz,” Gina answers, her voice threaded with tease.

Jake whips around, his cheeks full of the cheesy crust he just stuffed his face with. “Why-mmph,” he grunts, quickly swallowing. “Why you doin’ that, Gina?”

“My sweet Jacob, some of us come on these trips to relax. Much like Terry and Charles, I come on these trips to get away from my kid. But also, I thoroughly enjoy witnessing drunk Amy,” Gina explains, giving him a knowing look and Amy can see it click in his eyes.

“Now, Amy, are you sure you don’t want this wine-”

“Gina,” Jake says sharply, making everyone look at him. “Stop.” He circles the counter, his hands running up his wife’s back to rub at his shoulders. “Ignore her,” he whispers in her ear.

“Alright, what’s going on with you two?” Terry asks, his voice suspicious as Rosa and Charles walk into the kitchen for a refill.

Amy glances over her shoulder at Jake with a defeated expression. “Let’s just tell them,” she sighs.

Charles gasps. “Did you finally try that couples hair-washing class I sent you the link to? Didn’t I tell you, Jake, it’s the most erotic thing ever, Genevieve and I tried it and-”

“No, Charles, that’s gross. I deleted that entire conversation, even my phone was traumatized.”

Charles frowns. “So what is it? You’re already married. And Amy can’t be pregnant, Jake said that’s further down your life calendar and we all know how strict you are with that, there’s no way you could...”

He trails off when he sees Amy bite her lip, resisting the urge to smile. He sees Jake’s arms curling around her shoulders, hugging her from behind as Amy’s hand presses against her bump again, which is much more noticeable now that all eyes are on her.

“No way,” Rosa deadpans, the sound of Charles hyperventilating filling the room.

“You’re - but you - and Jake - and - parents?”

Amy nods. “I’m nine weeks.”

“OH. MY. GOD!”

And then he passes out.

“Cheers to that,” Gina says, raising her glass.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

She’s ten and a half weeks pregnant and everything is fucking annoying, from Jake’s concerned gaze on the other side of her desk, to Charles giving her daily lists of multivitamins. She knew she’d feel a little tired but she had no idea that growing a baby would exhaust her this much and drain all of her energy.

“Can you guys please leave me alone, I’m fine,” she’d insisted, slumping in her chair and letting her eyes close for a second. The next thing she knew, she was being carried into her apartment and tucked into bed, her husband pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead and promising to call her later.

That was hours ago. The sunlight that shone through their bedroom windows had dimmed, the sky outside a deep blue with fluorescent spots of yellow from the street lamps below. She managed to get some sleep, cuddling the soft mink blanket to her chest as her hand runs across her stomach continuously, hoping her tiny nugget is as comfortable as she is right now. She’s about to doze off again when she hears the front door close and a set of keys being dropped on the bench. She waits for him to come to her, knowing that he’ll fuss over how she’s feeling and once again she roll her eyes and tell him to relax.

When he opens their bedroom door and peeks at her around the frame, the look in his eyes is mischievous. “Hey babe,” he says softly, “you feeling better?”

She stretches slightly. “Mmm, heaps better.”

“Good.” He pushes the door open, walking towards the bed holding a plain brown paper bag in one hand.

“Oh god, what is that?” Amy sighs as he sits down on the bed.

“It’s not bad,” he starts, watching her as she sits up, “it’s just a present. For you. Well, for the baby. And us. More for us, I guess.” He reaches into the bag and pulls out the smallest police onesie Amy has ever seen, laying it flat on the comforter in front of them. She lets out a gasp, reaching forward and letting her fingers trace the stitching of the soft material, her eyes tearing up for the fifth time today (damn those hormones) as she picks up the matching beanie, nuzzling her cheek against the fluffy material.

“So...you like it?” Jake asks, adjusting his position to curl his arm around her waist.

“Babe, it’s so cute,” she giggles, “where did you get it?”

Jake shrugs. “Charles and I were bringing in a suspect for questioning and we passed this baby store. It looked like it had just opened so I thought I’d go in and have a look on the way home and...yeah. The girl that worked there practically threw it at me when she saw my badge, said it was ‘fate’ or something. I think she was a bit of a space head. Brooklyn is full of weirdos.”

Amy smiles, kissing his cheek. “Even if she is a space head, this is perfect.”

“Our baby is gonna be so cool,” he mumbles, leaning forward to rest his cheek against her growing stomach. “You hear that, kid? You’ve got a badass detective for a dad and the prettiest sergeant for a mom. You’re already awesome and you don’t even know it.”

Amy cards her fingers through Jake’s hair as he continues to talk to the baby, their baby, feeling her face wet with tears she didn’t realize had fallen.

“Fucking hormones,” she mutters.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

She’s eleven weeks and three days when it happens.

Her eyes open wide, giving her no time to adjust to the darkness of their bedroom when she feels a dull but strong cramp in her lower stomach. She’s been feeling them for days now and all the baby books she read told her it was normal and just her body’s way of adjusting to the baby’s growth. She blindly reaches for her phone, the light of her lockscreen telling her it’s 1:49am. She groans quietly, rolling onto her side, hoping to relieve some of the pressure.

She’s about to fall back to sleep when it hits her full-force.

She sits up in bed immediately, her hands fluttering to her stomach as her face twists into a grimace. “Come on, kiddo, what are you doing?” she whispers to herself, rubbing her small bump delicately. She glances over at her husband sleeping peacefully next to her, his hair in wild tufts as he snores lightly.

Let him sleep, her subconscious tells her. It’s nothing.

She decides maybe going to the bathroom will help relieve the pain, quickly shoving the covers off her legs. She stands and the cramping suddenly feels ten times worse as she takes deep breaths, struggling to make it to the bathroom. When she finally gets there, she closes the door. Then there’s silence.

A few minutes later, she screams.

Jake’s awake now, shooting upright and instantly scrambling towards the direction of his wife’s cries, throwing the door open and freezing at the sight in front of him.

Amy is on the tiled floor, legs pulled to her chest, her arms wrapped around herself, her small frame trembling. There’s toilet paper everywhere and her cheeks are streaked with tears and Jake is about to ask what the hell is going on when he locks eyes with his answer.

Through Amy’s legs, her pajama shorts are saturated with blood.

“I - need - I - something’s - wrong,” Amy gasps, squeezing her eyes closed in pain.

Jake snaps out of his daze and runs back into the bedroom, throwing on his hoodie and grabbing Amy’s fluffy bathrobe and a towel from the closet. He snatches his phone and his keys off the bedside table and sprints back into the bathroom, sliding down next to Amy.

“I’ve got you, come here,” he hushes her. He slings an am around her waist, lifting her up enough to slip the bathrobe over her shoulders and wrap the towel around her hips. “We’re gonna get you down to the car, okay? Can you walk?”

She takes a couple of steps, letting out a yelp and if Jake wasn’t holding her, she would’ve collapsed on the floor right then and there. “Hurts - it hurts - so bad - I can’t,” she sobs, her arms folding against her stomach protectively. “Jake - the baby-”

“Ames, the baby is fine, you’re fine,” he replies, trying to keep his voice as convincing as possible despite how much he’s panicking. He hooks his arm under her legs, picking her up bridal-style and carrying her carefully through the apartment. “Deep breaths, babe, you need to stay calm, freaking out is going to make it worse.”

He carries her out of the apartment, down the steps outside their building and sets her down gently to unlock the door from the passenger’s side. He quickly helps Amy into her seat, before slamming the door and running around to his side.

“J-Jake,” Amy stammers as he gets into his seat. He looks at her and she’s curled herself into a ball, still holding her stomach. She’s terrified.

“You’re alright, babe,” he assures her, his voice breaking as he starts the car, reaching over the console to grip her hand, “it’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He helps her back into bed with the promise that he’ll just be in the next room. She doesn’t say anything. She hasn’t spoken since they left the hospital.

He’s not surprised.

He calls her parents first, the words he speaks leaving an unfamiliar and unwelcome taste in his mouth. They promise to get on a flight to New York later that afternoon, her mother rattling off a list of rescue remedies. Jake mentally stores them in the back of his mind, wondering how she could possibly know all these things will help when she’s the one whose had a 100% success rate with eight kids.

He calls his mom next, the sound of her sympathetic voice breaking him down bit by bit. He balances the phone between his ear and shoulder as he pours milk into his too-strong coffee. “This sucks, Mom.”

“Honey, I’m so sorry. Do you need me to come over? Or do you want me to make some meals? I can whip up my infamous chicken and pumpkin soup? Amy likes that, doesn’t she?”

Jake rubs his eyes tiredly, the sun beaming through the kitchen window much too bright for 6:53am. “Actually, yeah. The soup would be great, thanks.”

“Of course, sweetheart. So how’s she doing?”

“She’s...” he falters and lets out a long breath. “She’s completely shut down. As soon as the doctor told us - I mean, she hasn’t said anything since they discharged her and I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to help her or what to say or anything.”

“You just need to be there for her,” Karen replies as he takes his coffee into the living room and sits down, “she’ll talk to you when she’s ready.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“And how are you?”

Jake frowns into the receiver. “What do you mean?”

Karen sighs. “Jake, Amy’s not the only one in this. You have to take care of yourself too."

He considers her words for a moment. “I'm - it hurts, Mom,” he says honestly, “I mean, it wasn’t planned but we were still so excited and talking about all the things we could buy and looking at getting a bigger apartment and now it’s just...nothing.”

“I know, honey,” Karen says soothingly, “it will get better but right now, let yourself grieve. You’re allowed to.”

“Yeah. Hey, I’m gonna go see if Amy needs anything, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, I love you.”

He hangs up and once again he’s alone with his thoughts. He knows that at some point this morning, he’s going to have to go into the precinct and tell Captain Holt. They can’t just not go to work without an explanation. But when he tries to write a mental script in his mind of how to say it out loud, every option makes the situation more and more real. Captain, Amy and I need some time off. Captain, something has happened.

Captain, we lost the baby last night.

It’s the last one that gets him, makes him curse under his breath as he feels the tears roll down his face. He lets out a frustrated groan, wiping furiously at his eyes and picking up his phone to check the time. He stands up to make his way to their bedroom but when he turns around, Amy is standing behind him, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her fingers grip the edges of the material tightly, her eyes red from lack of sleep and pure pain as she watches him stare back at her.

“Hey,” he says slowly, “I was just coming to check on you.”

She doesn’t respond, her chest rising and falling with shaky breaths. It only takes him one step towards her for her to let out a sob that breaks his heart and he crosses the room quickly the wrap her in his arms, holding her tightly as her walls finally come down.

He lets her cry, says nothing as she hyperventilates into him, her hands clutching his shirt as he cocoons her, wishing he could protect her from everything that’s happened in the past few hours. Eventually he moves her to the sofa, lifting her legs over his lap, draping the blanket across both of them. Her sobs subside and the only noises she makes are quiet sniffles and deep breaths to steady herself. He stays quiet, waiting for her to speak when she’s ready and at least twenty minutes go by before she says anything.

“I don’t know what to do, Jake,” she rasps, her voice weak.

He presses his lips into her hair, trying to think of all the ways he could possibly take all of her pain and throw it a thousand miles away. “You don’t have to do anything.”

She lets out a breath. “I just - I don’t know why. They didn’t know why. They couldn’t tell us. I thought - I thought I was doing everything right. Why - what’s wrong with me?”

He pulls back and looks at her tear-filled eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Ames,” he whispers, stroking her hair gently. “Absolutely nothing.”

“You said I’d be able to do it and - and I couldn’t. I...” she trails off, avoiding his gaze as a fresh set of tears falls. “I couldn’t carry our baby. I lost our baby. This is all my fault.”

He tilts her chin up to make her look at him. “Hey, it’s not your fault, don’t say that.”

“Then why? Why couldn’t - why couldn’t I do it?”

Her voice is grief-stricken and he’s silent for a moment, trying to formulate a response in his head. “When I was 7, before my dad left, my mom got pregnant. Yeah, I know,” he says in response to his wife’s eyes widening. “I remember her explaining to me that there was a baby in her stomach and I didn’t really understand anything, except the fact she would keep telling me “you’re going to be a big brother”. And then one day, she didn’t pick me up from school. She got our neighbor to take me to her house until my mom came home. And when she did - even though I was young, I knew something was up. And when she told me...” he shakes his head, staring at the coffee table deep in thought.

“She said - my little brother, or sister, decided it wasn’t their time. That they weren’t ready to come into the world. And - saying it out loud now, I think that’s what happened with our baby.” He looks down at Amy, his fingers playing with the feathery ends of her hair. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Ames. You did everything right. Our baby just wasn’t ready.”

He feels dampness on the sleeve of his shirt and he knows she’s crying again, so he pulls her impossibly close to his chest, closing his eyes as he rests his cheek against the top of her head, feeling tears of his own fall free.

“Look. We can try again. We can wait however long you want to wait. We’ll stick to your life calendar. Either way, I’m here with you, I’m here for you. I’m on your team. We’re gonna get through this, I promise you.”

It’s quiet for a moment and he thinks she’s fallen asleep until she speaks.

“I love you so much,” she whispers, her long lashes fluttering against his neck.

He kisses her hairline, his arms tightening around her. “I love you too. Always will.”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But they’ll be okay.

#b99 #brooklyn nine nine #jake peralta #amy santiago #jake x amy #peraltiago #b99 fanfiction #my writing #ya hey even i am crying #and i wrote this!#goodbye!!!!!!!#the desktop preview is FUCKED i'm sorry idk how to fix it #maybe read it on mobile-only????

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cmetznerdotcom · 8 years ago

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Gorillaz : Humanz (review.)

Okay so I’m gonna be completely real with you here, this band is very...existing. Like this band exists, that’s all they are to me. They don’t make me go ape shit, or disappoint me, they are just SO in the middle that the reason I’m listening to them is because they are the new hot thing these days. That’s not to disregard their talent, it’s an incredibly talented band and I can respect the time I’m sure it took to plan and create this album. I guy at work told me their album “The Fall” was entirely created on an iPad while on tour. Like hot damn that’s some fucking skill, I try to make art on the go and it sucks. So much respect.

So anyways, here’s my completely non-biased review as someone who just basically is listening to this album so I can say I did.

Intro : I switched my robot off: That wasn’t an intro. It was a sentence that they dedicated an entire separate track to.

Ascension: The rapper guy was super repetitive and it got annoying after he said the chorus the 85th time. His rapping was rather poppy and alright though so I ain’t trippin’ too much, The main Gorillaz singer maybe had like 2 bars to sing which was neat. He’s the main reason I listen to them, wish I had more but oh well.

So far at this point I’m gonna say this was a pretty weak opening to the album.

Strobelite: I’ll give this one a solid 6/10. I dug the chorus and it kept me interested, it didn’t really follow any standard. I have no clue who the singer is.(Where the hell is the main guy, that’s why I’m here. Shit) Anyways, it was catchy but I couldn’t relate with the lyrics. No biggie, it ain’t for everyone.

Saturnz Barz: Oh cool, another random guy that isn’t the lead singer. The chorus was pretty dope, but I couldn’t understand any of the verse for the life of me. Not to be racist or whatever but I struggled HARD to keep up with this guy. OH THERE’S THE MAIN SINGER!!! YEAH!!! YOU GO 2D!!! Wow, I liked his little bit. MORE OF THAT PLEASE. Okay I’ll say this is my favorite so far, this is a pretty good one.

I guess I should add that I’m listening to this album AS I’m writing this so it could be my most raw emotions on it.

Momentz: Okay, this is Gorillaz. I’m FEELIN the beat, it slaps pretty hard. This verse sounds like it could be Russell, I’m diggin it! This is some real Kid Cudi shit right here, I’d say. Still it’s better then everything else that featured some random artist.

Interlude: The Non-Conformist Oath: These skits can just be at the beginning of the song, it doesn’t need to be a dedicated track. I WILL say the ending of it was pretty hilarious.

Submission: This lady is GOOD! Admittedly though I have a soft spot for like any female singer I guess so there’s a bit of biased in that. I will add that this like isn’t Gorillaz at all. This sounds like some random obscure shit I would come across browsing through the new releases section on Spotify. Oh yeah and the rap part was pretty annoying.

Charger: The rise of this song is SOOOO hype. This is song number 2 that actually sounds like Gorillaz and I’m kinda iffy with it. This song really screams “experimental” to me, it seems like the band tried a bunch of different shit with this one. It doesnt follow any formula which I like, it keeps you on your toes, but at the same time has VERY repetitive style.

Interlude: Elevator going up: Seriously, this is a 4 second track. Quit it, you’re just making it a separate track so you can say you have MORE tracks on the album.

Andromeda: Scratch that, this is my new favorite track. It highlights everything I like about Gorillaz. I find nothing wrong with this one, good, chill stuff.

Busted and Blue: I love this one also! These seems like their ballad, which is completely fair. It follows a really nice somber tone of which I could totally see myself walking down a rainy street mourning the death of a loved one while listening to this. Scratch that last one, THIS is my favorite. (You’re going to have to deal with this a lot seeing as I’m writing this WHILE giving it my first listen.

I realize I’m not reviewing the lyrical content as much, which I know for Gorillaz is important but I’m kinda trying to just capture the entire essence of the song itself before diving into story content and perception of the message.

Interlude: Talk Radio: These interludes are completely pointless to me.

Carnival: CLASSIC GORILLAZ LAUGH! Theeeen the rest of the song is forgettable. C’mon, don’t do that iconic laugh before basically someone ELSES song.

Let Me Out: Oh damn this rapper is actually super hella sick. I don’t understand this gospelly take they approached. 2D’s bit in this song those is very good aswell as the small beat breaks whispering “Let me out.” You can totally hear the angst. I think this would have gone perfectly with that laugh at the beginning of that last failure of a track. All in all though good stuff, not a favorite but it’s up there.

Interlude: Penthouse: Something DIDN’T happen in that interlude. Much like all of the rest.

Sex Murder Party: This song made me realize this entire album is a huge change from the stuff I usually know from them. It’s so like 80′s calm. It seems like something you’d hear walking down a rainbow colored lit alleyway. Like remember in Batman (Forever I think?) When Robin and Batgirl were like doing that weirdass motorcycle race bit through the neon colored alleyway? If we could hear the radio, this album would be playing.

She’s my Collar: There are so many artists on this album, I was talking to my pal Ryan who said this was more a compilation album then an actual Gorillaz album and I got agree with him. 2D has like 4 actually verses on this entire album and it’s infuriating. Anyways, this song was nothing special which I why I didn’t really review this song and took the time to just give my temporary full album review instead.

Interlude: The Elephant: Ugh.

Hallelujah Money: This is very not Gorillaz but I remember hearing this single when it first came out and watching the video and totally appreciated how weird they wanted to make their first single. This is probably the most powerful song on the album which I can respect. This is the kind of song that is weird enough to fit on any Gorillaz album, the only problem is this entire album is basically full of songs like this which just makes it a weird compilation of bizarre messages delivered by artists that aren’t the ACTUAL Gorillaz.

We Got The Power: This didn’t effect me to much, I liked it! It was just one of those filler Gorillaz songs but DID convey a pretty inspiring message, lyrically.

Interlude: New World: Oh my god, this interlude was actually really good and well placed. It FELT like an actually track with content and NEEDED to be separate from the others. Why couldn’t all the other pointless Interludes be this in depth?

The Apprentice: There’s that laugh, this better be dope. I’m loving the subtle hints of 2D in the background and the variety of styles on it despite my opinion about them featuring 80 thousand different artists. it works here.

Halfway to the Halfway House: Something I DO commend Gorillaz on is that they can make music out of instrumentals that barely even have a coherent melody in it. Like this instrumental is completely whack, but they totally made it work with the actual vocals. There was a complete switch up halfway through the song which made me hate how it ended.

Out of Body: This...this song is cool. It still follows my Batman Forever theme, but this feels like a song I’ve never heard before, which I like. The female rap singer on this is AMAZING. Which i suppose is an upside for them featuring all these people. Either way I loved this song it was good.

Ticker Tape: Ok so now I’m assuming this song is beginning the outro of the album. I’m okay with it, it’s a really turned down feeling of serenity. Sung by 2D. This album made me realize I wish 2D just put out a ballad album because the two ballad’s sung by him are my favorites on this entire album. The song keeps a very personal tone through out the whole this. This especially is a really good descent into completing Humanz story.

Circle of Friendz: And here we are. The end. I liked that this felt kinda like a continuation of the last song which is what I feel like it SHOULD be. This album ended on a MUCH stronger note then it opened on. I feel like I went on a Journey with the Gorillaz and this is the part where they walk into the glowing sunrise together. Even though it was the same sentence over and over and over again, it was well placed. Mostly because it wrapped up the entire album into a grand boxes of Adventure, estrangement, and small failures.

All in all, it was worth the time to listen. Good job Gorillaz, you made a pretty 6.5/10 album. I only rated it this low because it featured way too many artists. I felt like this was more a group wide adventure where you cameo’d once in a while instead of YOUR adventure. When you DID make a cameo, it was amazing. So you had that for ya! Alright, there’s my review. Cya.

#gorillaz #humanz #review #music

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