#cw restraint and seclusion

[infinitydoublevenus]

I’m so fucking angry. I have every god damn right to be.

CONTENT WARNING: Descriptions of physical violence, isolation, ableism, and discussion of traumatizing events. 

if a teacher grabbed a neurotypical kid in a “normal” public school without warning, slammed their face against the door, and locked them in a room too small for an infant for the entire school day with almost no windows in it, there would be lawsuits all over it

but me? nooo, i dont get justice. my parents went to THE FUCKING SCHOOL BOARD and they did nothing. they went to the highest ups they could find and they just fucking TALKED and didnt actually DO anything! you wanna know why? because in this hell country, this kind of shit is legal in sp. ed schools! “restraint and seclusion” is just Ableistese for “Assault and Battery Accompanied By Subsequent Daily Isolation”. they did this to children, CHILDREN. anyone from 4 and up. thats right they did this to FOUR YEAR OLDS. did they ever show remorse for that? no. no they didnt! because they were fucking desenstiized, because this shit was happening EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY at my school and almost ALWAYS to more than one person at once.

when i was moved to a self-contained room (which meant no more restraint and seclusion for the ppl going to that class. but that was only because we had the one of the few teachers that wasnt a prick in there.) i would hear children as young as 8 years old screaming. THE DOOR WAS CLOSED! and these teachers were being so fucking physically abusive that i could hear it THROUGH THE DOOR! every single day i’d hear “let go of me! let go!” “please let go of me!” “get off of me!” and children sobbing as loud as they could 

almost everyone who got put in the isolation rooms which is what they should really be called, because its what they were, would scream their fucking lungs out. because they weren’t provided with sensory items or anything. just 1 window and if they looked through it the teachers would get mad and close the blinds. 

the only way to get out of these rooms? “Sit against the wall!” but like? why should we have to Do Your Bidding just to be treated like human beings? i felt like an immature asshole for refusing for the longest time. i figured it was just my rebellious streak. but no. it was the fact I SHOULDNT HAVE TO FUCKING MARTYR MYSELF TO BE CONSIDERED A HUMAN FUCKING BEING. 

and guess what else! this was a “Special Ed” school! literally almost EVERY SINGLE STUDENT that went there was neurodivergent, mentally ill, physically disabled, or a mix of those! the guidelines were that they were supposed to “practice Restraint and Secusion if someone gets too dangerous.” first of all not only does that perpetuate the idea that non-neurotypical people are dangerous but also uhhhh if a normal school can just send a student home, so can you! i dont wanna hear your bullshit excuses about how “well if we send him home he wont get good grades uwu”! BULLSHIT. YOU CAN SEND THE FUCKING WORK HOME WITH HIM. THAT’S WHY ITS CALLED HOMEWORK YOU MORONS! 

I. Wanted. To. Fucking. Sue. That. School. But noooo! Not only do we not have the money for that but even if we did the courts couldn’t do shit because “oh honey it’s legal!” 

I want to fucking die. 

[divergentfem]

CW*** talk of suicide

Infographic Full Transcript: Autism Safety fact sheet by Erin Human, US Director, Autistic Families International Restraint & Seclusion 12% of public school students are disabled 75% of students restrained at school are disabled 58% of students secluded at school are disabled 25% of arrests and referrals to police are disabled students Disabled students (covered by IDEA) represent only 12% of public school students, but are 75% of those restrained at school, and 58% of those subjected to seclusion or isolation.

Additionally, disabled students represent 25% of school referrals to law enforcement. Federal data shows public schools reported 163,000 incidents of students being restrained in one school year. 40% of students restrained at school are autistic 7,600 of the incidents of restraint involved mechanical restraints Students were secluded in “scream rooms” 104,000 times in that school year 20 public school students died while being restrained at school between 1988-2008 50% of students secluded/isolated at school are autistic Abuse and Violence Disabled children are 3.5 times more likely than non-disabled children to be abused or neglected. Disabled people are 3 times more likely than non disabled people to be victims of serious crime

Bullying 60-80% of autistic students report being bullied at school 40% of parents of autistic students report their children were bullied 22% of those who were bullied report being bullied “all the time” Other Risk Factors

Exact figures are unknown, but numerous studies have estimated that the number of people killed in police interactions who were disabled is likely at least 50% 70% of autistic people also have a psychiatric disability such as depression or anxiety 30-50% of autistic people have reported having suicidal thoughts or attempts SOURCES: “Violent and Legal” by Heather Vogell, Pro-Publica, June 2014. https://www.propublica.org/ar…/schools-restraints-seclusions “Autism and Safety Toolkit: Research Overview on Autism and Safety,” the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN). http://autisticadvocacy.org/p…/toolkits/safety/autism-safety (1)

[infinitydoublevenus]

I need to vent about this. I’m so angry and upset right now. Edit: added content warnings

When I was around 15 years old, I was transferred from one school to the one I used to go to. This was as per my own request because I felt I was being psychologically manipulated and bullied by the teachers at my other school.

However, going to a new school didn’t make it any better. It only made things worse. It turned out that my old school had been turned into a “special needs” school. It was one of those schools with Restraint and Seclusion.

But the thing is, no one told me about this before it happened. No one even told my mom. I got so upset during art class due to my depression that I ran out of the rom. Now usually if I ran out of a classroom, I could just sit in the hallway and the teachers would try to calm me down. It was not so with this school.

They literally chased me all the way to the gym before one of the male teachers who was much lager than me literally pinned me down against the floor.  I could not breathe. I felt as if my back was being crushed underneath some sort of pile of cinderblocks. I panicked and started telling him to get off of me, I can’t breathe. I told him I have a pacemaker incision in my stomach (which is true) and that if he kept doing this he could very well kill me. He told me I was “probably making that up so I’ll get off of you, I’ve heard those kinds of excuses before”. Ex-fucking-scuse me, but YOU’RE NOT MY FUCKING DOCTOR. And it is NOT OKAY to just dismiss someone when they tell you they have a disability or a condition that needs accomodated for.

I think I still have trauma from that. I had a dream a few nights ago after thinking about it that I was underwater and couldn’t breathe, and my spine was being crushed to the breaking point by a wooden fence that was built under the ocean. My spine came thise close | | to breaking in half in that dream.

After that, they said they “didn’t know I had a pacemaker”. First of al, the nurse was supposed to tell all of my teachers. Second of all, I myself told them I did, but did they give a single shit about MY testimony? Fuck no!

They changed the way they did the restraints for me, but they still did restraint and seclusion. They would grab my arms until it felt like they were about to break, squish my face against a door so hard I thought my nose was broken, slam me against the wall in the back of the seclusion room, and practically literally throw me in there. They even lifted my feet off the floor one time, I swear to God they did, but when the police got involved they said they didn’t see that on the security cameras. Okay, then why the FUCK do I have an almost vivid memory of it? They would ignore my begging for them to let go of me, they would ignore my screaming and shouting and yelling because I was desperate for them to let go of me. I thought they were going to break my bones or kill me. It HURT. But did they care? Of fucking course not! They even saw me being restrained and did NOTHING about it! Sure it’s legal, but goddamnit, it’s still abusive! If I was a police officer I would have fucking wrangled with those teachers even if I got fired!

So naturally when they put me in the seclusion room with the door locked shut, I screamed my lungs out.Because what else was I supposed to do? They didn’t provide anything to calm down with, just a white room too small for a BABY to have anything to do in. There was only one window and it was so small you could barely see anything. How the hell am I supposed to calm down without venting my feelings out via art or using a sensory toy? Oh but they didn’t know, because did they bother to even fucking ASK what would calm me down first? No! No they didn’t!

And THEN I was forced to write down what “I” did to get in trouble. They blamed ME for being restrained. Restraint was ONLY supposed to be used for kids who were being dangerous. AndI mean legitimately dangerous - like kids who threw things or tried to kick people. What did I do that got me restrained, you ask? I SLEPT AT MY FUCKING DESK BECAUSE I WAS A SLEEP DEPRIVED TEENAGER. I refused to read a book because the suicide scene would have triggered my depression. I argued with a teacher with NO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, just WORDS. So apparently, any act of rebellion is to be punished now. Fucking great.

Anyways, I screamed my lungs out in there for them to let me out, I pounded on the door, I couldn’t think straight because I was traumatized and angry and frustrated and confused. I cried my eyeballs out until my tear ducts went dry. This whole scenario was part of why I lost my faith in Christianity. I prayed my ass off that somehow God would let me out of there, but did anything happen? No, because apparently “God” didn’t give a SHIT about me!  I still would have become an atheist, because their arguments just make so much more sense to me, but this definitely factored into it. The moment I first doubted God’s existence was in that horrible empty room.

And getting tired of the screaming- I can’t blame them for getting tired of it but this is inexcusable - I had told one of the teachers I thought I had misophonia (it actually turned out to be my Sensory Processing Disorder, but it has the same symptom)  she started pounding repeatedly on the window just to aggravate me. And then I told her, stop it, that’s hurting my ears. I told her, I’m pretty sure I have misophonia and you’re aggravating it. And then SHE had the gall to tell me that “you don’t have misophonia”. Again, You’re not my fucking doctor you ass-for-brains!

I went to a therapist because I was so sressed out about what happened. I told him EVERYTHING I just wrote down here, and all he said was “you should change your behavior uwu” WHAT THE FUCK YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE A THERAPIST. MY PARENTS WASTED THEIR MONEY ON YOU YOU GOD DAMN QUACK.

I almost got sent to the seclusion room again that year and I swear to God I had a straight up flashback. Like PTSD or something. I’m not diagnosed, I don’t know. But that’s what it felt like. It almost happened a second time that year, I panicked and told the teachers I would fight if they came any closer. Can you blame me? I had a panic attack because of all the bullshit they put me through last year!

Restraint and seclusion is abusive. If a normal school can just send a kid home when they’re being dangerous, then SO CAN THE “SPECIAL NEEDS” ONES. If a man grabbed his wife by the arms, slammed her face into a door, and then threw her into an empty room and locked her there for an entire day, everyone would consider it buse. So why does no one give a single shit when it comes to disabled people? Oh I know why, because we’re a “burden to society” and they don’t give a crap about what we think, so when they want to learn how to teach us they’re too lazy to do any reliable fucking research!

I don’t give a shit that this is legal, it SHOULDN’T BE in ANY STATE, COUNTRY OR ANYWHERE ELSE ON EARTH. I can’t stand my limbs being held even gently now thanks to all of this shit. I can’t stand closed spaces anymore because of this shit. I can’t trust authority figures no matter how much I want to or how nice they seem all because of this stupid ass restraint and seclusion bullshit.  

I’m 99% sure I have PTSD now, but does anyone care? Apparently not, because my mom thinks I should just “get over it” because it’s “in the past” so she probably won’t be taking me to a doctor to get diagnosed anytime soon!

Tl;dr: If you support restraint and seclusion, 1. Get off my blog and 2. Fuck you.