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#cuz like canonically speaking this is the first time we see gordon be touched by someone without the intention to harm him
this-should-do
·
2 years
Text
and for just the briefest moment...
#gordon freeman
#alyx vance
#half life
#half life 2
#idoindeeddraw
#ponderingradioactivedecay
#i dunno i just think about the hug scene at the beginning of ep1 alot
#cuz like canonically speaking this is the first time we see gordon be touched by someone without the intention to harm him
#like alyx is like the person gordon is closest to throughout all the games
#and like i imagine gordon to be like in general really uncomfortable with physical touch in general and can really only tolerate it with
#people he really trusts and is close to like rally close to like even with his parents he struggled with touch and affection
#but everything in the games just decimates his ability to tolerate touch at all
#like if u touch him with enormous forewarming ur likely to comeaway with a few broken bones at the very least
#lik ei really liked this one scene in resonant crowbar series where gordon guts a medic who didnt know to get forewarning before sticking
#him witha medpack
#like that scene rocked
#so back to this scene in th eep
#that bried moment of purely relieved affection on layxs part and the sudden physical contact was prob just so overwhelming for gordon
#but he trusts alyx so much so damn much by this point that its almost tolerable
#and it for just a second leaves him missing it when its over...
#it just reminds him that hes a person befor ehe can reel himself back in to be a weapon and that moment hurts more than anything
#god now i wanna write that scene
#tho in my funny canon he technically had a brief hug with barney but its still different
#cuz there he broke the hug himself he couldnt handle it and after he didnt even want to touch barney again he couldnt have handled it
#but with alyx he didnt want it to end even if itdve kill edhim and caused him to crumble he missed being that close to someone
#i dunno i just
#i love that scene and i love alyx so much but god i have no idea how to write her :(((
#i want to write her so bad and ive started multiple things that ahve her in it but i just dont know here
#maybe i should try something from her pov that prob help
#figure out her head and voice before i try anything else
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