#cuz i thought it was funny + i liked peer approval

[cringelordofchaos]

It's really difficult to write bullies for a multitude of reasons. Primarily cuz many people have been bullies in their life before - they just don't know.

Which makes everything so fucking difficult. Because, when writing a fictional character, especially one with noticable flaws, you want to explain their behaviour - not excuse it, necessarily, but show the audience why they are the way they are. For example, a character with trust issues may be that way due to being lied to and deceived in the past by those they loved.

But, for whatever reasons I find this becoming more difficult to nail down with bullies, specifically.

Because, again - most bullies don't think they're bullies. In their eyes, they might have not noticed the actual damage they've done to others, or maybe they were just focusing on how much fun they've had with their friends, or the laughs they shared over teasing others. We're the main characters in our own lives so, for us, we fail to realize when in other people's lives, we become a form of an antagonist. I would know

For bullies, writers typically try explaining why they're bullies - it's typically family issues or other forms of inner emotional conflicts.

And y'know what? I think it makes sense. I'll make a concession - briefly, I've bullied others before as a result of peer pressure. I've never fully "fit in" with others, and in middle school that feeling only became more abundant, and my bullies only got worse, so when others told me to do dumb or mean stuff to other kids, I'd... Submit, because when they laughed over or even just desired me doing... Anything, I felt more loved and accepted. I admit it was stupid of me and overall a bad thing to do, and when I realized it, I quickly stopped (though I failed to apologize, and now it's too late). So yeah; bullying can stem from issues and problems from childhood and such.

Though I typically see people saying that bullies being the way they are due to trauma or similar stuff is "unrealistic", and they usually just do it because they're bored - and while I do believe this very well can be the case as well, usually the people that say this (from my personal experience) tend to be ones who say they've been victims of bullies, rather than bullies themselves - so I don't fully understand where their arguments stem from, or why they believe they fully understand the internal mindscape of every kid that anyone can deem to be a bully.

Also, from personal experience, I tend to notice my past bullies have struggled a decent amount themselves over all sorts of things. While I've never come to fully understand them, it was pretty obvious - to me, at least - that their bullying was simply a way of coping or seeking attention, positive or otherwise.

And also, a kid that bullies others just because they're bored makes up for a pretty boring antagonist IMO. i mean, you could probably make it work, but it's more interesting to give them complex family lore and coping mechanisms, even if it's not always the case.

There also comes the subject of prioritizing how much the bully is sad or how they feel, over... Those they're bullying. One time, in a middle school class focused on primarily mental healtn, the topic of bullying was the subject of the day. It wasn't anything too special - just a typical Powerpoint presentation that almost no one really payed attention to (especially since literally no one cared about the class and it was extremely unserious - I can't blame them, I didn't care either). However the presentation exclusively focused on how the bully might feels rather than the victim.

And like, yeah. We should talk about why some kids bully others. But we need to point out now anyone can be a bully, even you - but, from what my forgetful mind remembers at least, the Powerpoint presentation failed to achieve that.

I feel like the concept of The Bully has been a bit... Romanticized??? Is that the right word? So people just see it as a vague fictional concept rather than something anyone can be realistically

I don't know. But long post short - most people don't think they could possibly have been bullies ever, but they want to write bullies, some - due to lack of personal perspective - heavily rely on tropes such as parent issues while I've seen many people criticize these tropes due to being "unrealistic" but those people tend to not have been bullies themselves (or at least don't think they've been).

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[sadienita]

Does It Meet Your Expectations? - Part 3

Hansol x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: mentions of and twisting of religion, manipulation, sexism, racism and racial slurs

You were not looking forward to the collision and blowout of your parents learning about Hansol. You knew it was coming but for the moment, you could at least pretend everything was okay and that would be a problem for later.

“Why did we pick this degree again?” Hansol asked wearily as he flipped through his notes.

“To help people?” you groaned. You and Hansol had been studying together for days. You had taken part in a big study session with a number of other nursing students. It had been somewhat productive but also a bit unfocused and as much as you enjoyed yourselves you knew that if you wanted to be ready for exams you wouldn’t be able to do that too much. You’d tried studying with Bora and Dahyun as well. They were also fun but easily distracted. It was too easy to make jokes and lose track of time with them.

You had also tried studying at Hansol’s but he was one of the younger members in the house. You would have thought everyone else was busy too but Seungcheol, Joshua, and Wonwoo all dropped by to make sure you were actually working. Seokmin was by far the worst. He seemed to have a sixth sense for any time you were joking around with each other and he’d pop his head in the door and tell you to get back to work.

So you ended up in your dorm room this morning. You had the whole day and two exams coming up in two days so you figured you could spend some of the morning studying and you’d take breaks whenever you needed to. But even though you had only been at it for an hour you were both worn out already, the words of your notes no longer sinking into your brain.

“Can we take a break?” he whined. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m all for helping people, but I don’t think we’ll do any good if our brains are fried.”

“Agreed,” you groaned, throwing your binder to the floor, causing Hansol to chuckle.

He shifted the textbooks until they were out of the way and laid back, opening his arms and giving you a grin. You climbed across the bed and cuddled up next to him, tucking your head under his chin as he put his phone in front of the two of you. He opened up a funny video that you knew neither of you would spend too much time watching.

“You know, I’m really glad you’re going to be here for the start of next year. I’d be really sad if you were leaving soon.”

“Me too,” you hummed. “It would have sucked if we only ended up with a couple of months together.”

“Do you miss home?” he asked.

You shrugged. “In some ways. It is really different here. I do miss my friends back home, and my family. But I also love being with you. And… some distance from my parents isn’t a bad thing.”

Hansol gave you a curious look. “Why’s that?”

You bit your lip, debating on how much to say. You knew your parents wouldn’t approve of him. You didn’t want him to feel bad about the position you were going to be in when they found out. You were also worried he might think that you held the same views they did. To be fair, you used to. You had unlearned a lot of the things they had told you but that didn’t mean it was easy to tell them as much.

“We just… don’t really see eye to eye on some things…” you aired on the side of caution. You didn’t know when you were going to tell him everything but at the moment that was the last thing you wanted to worry about.

“That can be frustrating.” he hummed, “You love them, but you can’t always be honest about things with them.”

A small smile tugged at your lips. “Yeah.” You were glad that he seemed to understand. At least he would be able to separate your viewpoints from your parents.

You snuggled a little closer to him and peered at the little screen in front of the two of you. He put on another funny video and pretty soon you were snorting with laughter. You felt Hansol press his lips to the top of your head as his chuckles subsided.

“What was that for?” you giggled.

“Your laugh is so cute,” he murmured, pressing more kisses to your head. You groaned and hid your face in his chest.

“The snorting is so embarrassing,” you muttered.

“I like it,” Hansol smiled. “It suits you.”

“Thanks,” you deadpanned.

“Would you rather I hate it?” he chuckled.

“No,” you groaned. “Fine, you win.”

“Yeah, cuz I’m right,” he grinned.

“I-” you were cut off by a call on your computer. You crawled to the foot of your bed to see the screen better and cursed under your breath. You pushed Hansol with your foot.

“Hey,” he chuckled.

“Get off the bed,” you hissed, nudging him again.

“What?” he laughed.

“Get off the bed!” you pushed him harder and he tumbled to the floor, grumbling. “Be quiet, please.”

You ran your fingers through your hair before accepting the call. Your parents smiled as soon as they saw you.

“Hey pumpkin,” your mom smiled. “How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m great,” you said quickly. “I didn’t know you were going to call.”

“We thought we’d surprise you, honey bunches,” your dad said. “We figured you’d be studying.”

“Yep, yep just doing some studying,” you smiled, feeling nervous. You could see Hansol watching you curiously out of the corner of his eye but at least he was being quiet.

“You look like you were sleeping,” you mom scolded.

“I may have rested my eyes for a moment,” you grinned sheepishly.

“Everyone else around her is probably studying, you know how those orientals are.” your dad said.

You tensed, feeling Hansol’s eyes on you but not daring to look at him. You didn’t know what to do. Usually you wouldn’t want to rock the boat, but he might not like it if you just let them say those sorts of things.

“I-I mean, I guess some of them study a lot,” you mumbled. “But they’re just real people. And that term is…”

“Just make sure you associate with the good ones, I’ve he-”

Though you were grateful to not know what your mom had heard about Koreans, the sneeze that Hansol had been unable to keep in caused a new problem as your parents gave you a confused look.

“Who was that?” you dad asked.

“No one,” you said quickly, “just my phone.”

“It sounded like a sneeze,” you mom frowned. “Is there someone else there with you?”

You glanced at Hansol as he shifted and mouthed ‘sorry’ at you. You mom said your name, warning in her tone.

“Don’t lie to us, you know that’s a sin.”

“Yes, mom,” you said quietly, before beckoning Hansol closer. He reluctantly climbed up on the bed and sat behind you, leaning his head on your shoulder.

Your mom’s eyes widened as your father gave Hansol a disapproving glare.

“We didn’t let you go over there to date,” your dad said shortly.

“I didn’t…” you contemplated the situation quickly. There was no easy way out of this conversation.

“I know, I wasn’t planning on it. But we met in class an-”

“He’s a nurse!” your mother exclaimed.

“I’m going to be,” you heard Hansol mutter quietly, though it was too low for your parents to hear.

“What kind of man becomes a nurse?” you father questioned, a hostility in his tone.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Hansol spat back. You gripped his arm tightly and shook your head quickly, praying he would let you deal with this.

“I thought you gooks were taught to be polite to your elders.”

“Dad!” you hissed. “You can’t say that! It’s racist!”

“Watch your mouth, young lady,” your mom said in tones of hushed anger. “You know that’s no way to talk to your father. Apologize.”

You pressed your lips together, not daring to look at Hansol, but feeling him shift away from you as quiet ‘I’m sorry’ slid past your lips. He had to understand there was no use arguing with them. The only way to keep peace was to appease them, even though they were wrong.

“We taught you better than this.” you father said cooly.

“I know what you taught me,” you said.

“Then why, sweetie,” you mom pleaded. “What’s the point when you’re going to come back here and find out a nice white boy is your soulmate?”

Hansol answered before you could. “Because I’m her soulmate.”

Your mother covered her mouth in a gasp as your father shook his head, almost chuckling.

“I know you’d like to think that, but that’s not possible. She couldn’t have someone like you as her soulmate. Soulmates come from the same, background. The bond is just stronger. It’s how God intended,” your dad sounded so matter of fact as he finished his explantation. You wanted this conversation to be over so desperately, but you couldn’t just blatantly lie about this.

“He is my soulmate,” you said quietly. “The butterflies, the shaky hands, I know he is.”

You mother shook her head. “Where did we go wrong with you? Daniel was never this much trouble.”

“Mom you can’t choose your soulmate!” you exclaimed.

“And God wouldn’t choose someone like that for you,” your mom sniffed. You gritted your teeth. You were convinced she only cried to make you feel guilty. “He would only pick someone like us.”

“Well I guess it’s lucky that I am somewhat like you,” Hansol added, clearly seething.

“I beg your pardon,” your dad said, pulling your mom closer to comfort her as she wept.

“I’m half white,” he said. You weren’t sure if he was planning on it helping or hindering the conversation.

“So you’re dating a mutt,” you father spat.

That seemed to be Hansol’s last straw. You weren’t sure why he’d waited that long but he quickly got up and started to pack his things. You turned back to look at your parents, hot tears stinging at your eyes.

“Why-”

“I have half a mind to bring you home this instant,” your father said angrily. “Your mother is in tears because of you. I hope God grants you forgiveness.”

He shook his head. “We’re so disappointed in you.”

The only plus to your mother’s tears was your father deciding to cut the call off earlier than he might have since she was clearly beyond talking about this. They both were.

Hansol had his hand on the door handle when you managed to grab his other arm.

“Hansol wait, please.”

“I get it. I get that you can’t control them. I’m sure it’s easy to go along with what they say when it’s just you,” he said angrily. “But you’re just going to let them get away with say those things about me?”

“What was I supposed to do?” you cried.

“Stick up for me? Or at least not agree with them!”

“I tried! You heard them, they’re impossible! There’s no way to tell them off!”

“Well you didn’t have to apologize when they said awful things about me, did you?”

You stood in silence for a moment. The tears in your eyes started to spill over as shame burned you up from the inside. Hansol searched your eyes but when you weren’t able to find the right words he pulled away from your grasp.

“Hansol, don’t go-”

“Just… leave me alone,” he said, his back to you as he stepped through door and made his way out of the dorm.

The door swung shut behind him and you slumped against it, sliding to the floor in tears.

[calpalirwin]

Still Into You

Summary: True snippets of a girl (me) in love with her best guy friend (Mr. Hubs) and all their sometimes depressing, but always dorky life together.

A/N: So @carebearofriddles​ and @baldcalum​ LOVE my stories of me and my hubs, so I decided to share this with all of you lovely people. Obviously it’s been tweaked into an Ash fic, but all the following stories are 100% true. And after posting Part 1, they both yelled at me for Part 2. And now it’s time for Part 3!

Content: Hell if I know anymore. Wedding planning hell. Mostly upbeat shit. Probably cussing because it’s me.

And away, and away we go!

Part 3

~2018-2019~

“Hey, Shay,” her friend David said, peeking his head in the room. “Irwin’s like really great.”

She laughed. “Gee, thanks?”

David rolled his eyes. “No, I mean, I always thought he was an idiot.”

“You and everybody else.”

He waved his hand at her to tell her to stop interrupting him. “But, I see what you see in him. No one asked him to keep an eye on my kid, but he’s doing it anyway. Just chasing him around.”

This made Shay smile. David’s son was Shay’s godson, and her and David had gotten rather close since the little boy had been born. Shay viewed David as an older brother. So his approval and admittance that he saw in Ashton what she had seen the whole time, made her heart soar.

~~~

“It’s upside down…” Ashton said, frowning at the tattoo on her wrist.

“It is not!” Shay gasped, smacking him lightly in the chest.

“Is too.”

“Not to me it isn’t.”

“To the rest of the world it is.”

“So, do you not like it?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But do you?”

“Does it matter if I do or not? You already did it. And you know I don’t care.”

“True,” she smiled at him. He had proposed to her in fuckin sweatpants for fuck’s sake. This man had never once cared about her appearance. It was great.

~~~

“This isn’t the way you take home,” Shay said, turning in her seat to look at Ashton.

“I know. Gotta stop somewhere first.”

She narrowed her eyes, wondering what he could possibly be up to this time.

“Sees Candies?” she said, once he pulled into a parking space.

“Yeah! You can make your own box of chocolate so it’s only the stuff you like,” he grinned at her. God, he was so proud of himself.

She leaned over and kissed him. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?”

He scoffed playfully. “I better be your only.”

“I’ll tell the others to step their game up.”

~~~

“Is Pam wearing makeup?” Ashton asked, moving to peer closer at the TV as they watched The Office.

“Yes… Most girls do…”

He turned his attention from the TV screen to Shay. “You don’t. You used to. But you stopped.”

“Yeah, cuz you said you didn’t like it.”

He pulled a face. “I don’t like when you wear lip stuff cuz it tastes funny when I kiss you. But I liked how it looked on you eyes.”

“Are you saying you want me to start wearing eyeshadow again?” she laughed.

He shrugged. “If you want. But, it’s not like you need it.”

“Nobody needs makeup. We just wear it because we like how it makes us feel.”

“Makes you feel?”

“Yeah. Beautiful and stuff. Or, I assume anyway. I don’t wear it, so I wouldn’t actually know.”

“But you’re already… nevermind. Wear makeup, don’t wear makeup, I don’t really care.”

“I know,” she smiled at him.

~~~

“This one!” she grinned, showing him the puppy on her phone.

“Really? Again with the puppy? I thought we were trying to move out?”

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “We’ve been trying to move out for 2 years and something always falls through at the last second. C’mon, please? She’s so cute.”

“Your mom is gonna kill us.”

“Fine. Give me a baby, then.”

He choked. “Really? That’s where we’re at now? Puppy or baby?”

“Puppy or baby.”

He sighed. “Alright, let’s go.”

“Yes!” she cheered, “Oh, I love you!”

“You fuckin better…”

~~~

“So…” she started, biting into her lower lip.

“So?” he prompted.

“School’s gonna take me a year longer than I thought. I thought I could take a certain set of class together in the same semester, but I have to take them in sequence.”

“Okay…”

“So, I’m not graduating before we get married. I’ll graduate a year later.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, I’m mad about it too. But…”

“But, what?”

“But, I don’t want to push back to wedding. I can handle school taking me a year longer as long as everything else stays as is.”

He shrugged. “Alright then. If that’s what you want.”

She nodded. “It is what I want. And another thing… kids.”

“Kids?”

“Yeah. I know we always said we wanted to be married a year before we started trying. But, I want to start trying right away. I don’t want to wait.”

“Alright then. If that’s what you want,” he repeated with another shrug.

~~~

“Head hurts, again?” he murmured softly, walking into to find her lying in bed in the dark.

She nodded against the pillows. “This fuckin sucks…” she muttered. Her head had started hurting her a month ago. A headache from hell, that had eventually gone away. But, now? Well now she was on day 5 of unrelenting head pain. It ebbed and flowed, and right now it was flowing.

“Should probably go to the doctor.”

“Should probably do a lot of things. I think something’s wrong with my birth control.”

“Birth control?”

“Yeah, I only started having these damn headaches when they changed my prescription.”

“You said it was the same dosage, just a different name.”

“Well, I didn’t have these headaches before.”

“So, what do you want to do? Quit birth control?” he laughed.

“Yes!”

“I was kidding…”

“I’m not. My head is on fuckin fire. I can’t focus on anything.”

“Okay, okay. Quit then. We’ll figure something else out.”

~~~

“Well, I can go on this,” Shay offered, showing him her phone. She had been off birth control for a month and their sex life had taken a significant hit. They were still wary of condom use, and while Shay had stopped caring about the stigma of an unplanned pregnancy long ago, she knew Ashton wasn’t as willing to be as carefree as her.

“What is it?” he asked.

“It’s an IUD. It goes in. We forget about it,” she explained. “Might make me stop getting my period though, so I’m kinda iffy about it,” she added with a frown. Getting her period every month was the only way the two of them ever breathed easy. She wasn’t sure what she would do without that guaranteed safety net.

“It goes in?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah… like…” she mimed shoving a finger in herself.

“No,” he shook his head. “You’re not doing that. I’m not… no.” He continued to shake his head as his eyes grew haunted.

She smiled softly at him, resting her hands on his shoulders. “I’m fine, you know that, right?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. We’ll figure something else out. No one’s touching you.”

~~~

“It’s a lower dosage,” she explained, shaking the box at him.

“But it’s still the pill?”

“Yeah. It’ll work the same as the other stuff.”

“Okay. Do we have to wait a week like we did that one time?”

“Yes.”

“Damn.”

“We can do other stuff,” she said, wrapping her arms around him.

He breathed her in. “No… cuz then I’m gonna… no. Stop it!”

She pouted, “You’re no fun.”

~~~

“Lucy, stop barking,” Ashton scolded their dog as she barked and huffed at their bedroom door.

“It’s the ghosts,” Shay said simply, rolling over on her side.

“Where’s the salt,” he said, getting out of bed, and turning on the light.

Shay threw an arm over her eyes as the room brightened and laughed “Get back here. And turn off the damn light.”

He came back with the salt shaker, shaking it across the room. “Gotta protect from the ghosts.”

“You’re ridiculous. And now there’s salt in the bed. Thanks!” Shay continued to laugh.

“No ghosts getting in here,” he muttered to himself, turning off the light and getting back into bed.

“Thank you for protecting me from the ghosts,” she teased.

“Oh, I did that for me. I don’t care if the ghosts get you.”

~~~

Shay texted Ashton a picture of Lucy curled up on his side of the bed.

She misses you.

Sleepy bitch

She is a sleepy bitch. Resting for her midnight bork.

She better not be borking at midnight

It’s the ghosts.

Get the salt!

Shay laughed.

~~~

“Good girlfriend!” Ashton cooed, patting Shay’s head as she got in the car with their dinner.

“I’m not your girlfriend,” she said, giving him a fake angry face.

He mocked her face and drove them home.

“You parked me in the bush again!” she yelled at him once they were home. “Fuckin park normal, you heathen!”

“Maybe if you were my girlfriend, I wouldn’t park you in a bush!” he fired back.

“Shut the fuck up,” she laughed, knocking into his shoulder as they walked into the house.

~~~

“Wait, so what do we still need to plan for the wedding?” Ashton asked.

“Just food. I got everything else figured out,” Shay said. Then, “Have you picked your side of the wedding party yet? I need to know so I can send the boys their colors.”

“They’re not all wearing the same color?”

“No… Cuz it’s a Harry Potter wedding? God, use your head.”

He rolled his eyes. “Alright, fine. Food. The guys. What else?”

“We need to mail invitations. Which means we need to make invitations and I need to get addresses.”

He sighed. “Alright. So me that design thing whatever, and I’ll use the computer at work to make it look better.”

“So, then all we need is food,” Shay smiled.

“Right. Food. What do y-”

“In-n-out!” she interrupted.

He groaned. “Alright… call them. See if we can get it.”

~~~

“Good night!” Shay laughed, reclining her seat back.

“Hey! You can’t do that!” Ashton told her. “You can’t sleep while I drive.”

“Hmm… ‘in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer’ nope, nothing about me not being able to sleep while you drive.”

“Well, my vows are gonna say you can’t do that!”

“That’s not how vows work!” she laughed.

~~~

“We waited too long!” she yelled at him.

“What?!”

“In-N-Out! I’m on a waiting list! This is why I wanted you to start planning with me back when I got my dress.”

“I don’t know how to plan a wedding!”

“Neither do I! Now we gotta get tacos like a bunch of losers!”

“You like tacos…”

“Everybody likes tacos!”

“So, what’s wrong with that?”

“Everybody does tacos! Birthday parties! Weddings! Family get togethers! Tacos! I wanted to be unique! I wanted to eat a burger on my wedding day! And we waited too long!”

He sighed. “Do you wanna go to Target and print out our invitations tomorrow?”

“Yes…”

~~~

“How many did you order?” the lady working the photo center asked.

“50,” Shay told her.

“Okay, it’ll be about 10 minutes.”

“Alright, thanks.”

“What do you wanna do for 10 minutes?” Ashton asked.

Shay shrugged, already wandering off. “It’s Target.”

Being them, it wasn’t long until they were in the toy aisle, looking at Nerf guns. “What did we need to get again?” Ashton asked, crouching down to compare prices and firing capabilities.

“Wedding invitations…”

“Right… so that’s no on the Nerf guns?”

“These ones are only 20 bucks,” she said, grabbing one of the smaller Nerf guns off the shelf.

“So, Nerf guns?”

“Nerf guns!”

~~~

“My tongue feels gross,” Shay told Ashton.

“That’s gross…”

“I’ve been licking those damn envelopes all day! No thanks to you.”

“Hey, my handwriting sucks. You really want me addressing the invitations?”

“No, but you could’ve helped…”

“I made the invitation, didn’t I?”

She rolled her eyes. “Did you pick a first song yet? I was nice and sent you 3 non-country ones. They’re all about 3 minutes.”

“Yeah, let’s do the Paramore one.”

“Is that because that’s the one you know?”

“Yes…”

“Did you even listen to the other ones?”

“Yes. And I like the Paramore one.”

She shrugged, she had figured he would pick that one. “Alright. Paramore it is.”

~~~

“Dude!” she screeched, skidding to a halt in front of him.

“Dude, what?!”

“The apartment place called! We got it!”

“Holy shit, really?!”

“Yeah! Gotta go out there tomorrow to fill out paperwork and get keys!”

“Yes! We’re moving!”

“We’re moving!”

The timing couldn’t be better. The wedding was in 6 weeks.

~~~

I just lost my shit in a target cuz a mixture of a sad movie and my earlier issues just went boom. They think I’m more upset cuz you didn’t respond. And like no. Upset cuz too many families Shay texted Ashton. She had already texted him that morning when she woke up to her girlfriends on the phones with their partners and kids. One weekend. She wanted one fuckin weekend where her girls were her girls again, not the mothers they had become without her.

Are you mad I didn’t respond

No. Cuz I know how you feel. That doesn’t bother me at all Shay typed back. Her and Ashton had been doing this back and forth for a long time now. She admired his desire to want to be able to provide for both her and any kids they would eventually have. It didn’t do much to dull her desire to have kids anyway. But she didn’t blame Ashton for having his opinion on the matter. It was his life. He had just as much say in when they would have kids as she did.

You know I’m a pessimist

I know you are. I know you see the rational financial aspect to everything. And that’s good cuz I prefer to ignore that aspect and just go with the cuteness

Yeah like who’s gonna take care of it

Me. That’s why I want a baby next summer. I’ll be off so I can stay home and do the bonding thing and figure out daycare before I go to my credential program. Contrary to popular belief, she had also spent a lot of time in thinking things through about having kids rather than just focusing on her want of having them.

~~~

“We’re getting married today,” Shay giggled as they got ready on the morning of July 20th.

“Yeah, no shit. C’mon, you wanted to get your nails done.”

“Are you gonna get yours done too?”

“I’m not getting my nails painted.”

“I didn’t ask if you were getting them painted. I asked if you were getting them done.”

He glanced at his fingers. “Yeah, I guess.”

~~~

“Uh, freeway’s that way,” Shay pointed, still admiring her silver nail polish.

“I know. But I’m hungry,” he said, pulling into the In-N-Out drive-thru.

“In-N-Out for breakfast, huh?”

“Well, I was gonna surprise you and get it after the wedding, but we’re not leaving in my car. So, yeah.”

She laughed. “You’re my favorite.”

“I better be.”

~~~

“Hey, c’mon,” he whispered to her.

“What?” Shay asked, coming over to her.

“Secret wedding, let’s go,” he grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the small room she had claimed to get ready in.

She giggled, happily going with him. In the height of their annoyance from their wedding becoming less about them and more about the family they didn’t want to invite, Shay had joked that they should just elope to piss everybody off. It got to the point where when they picked up their marriage license, she had pointed out the chapel just three feet away. “No,” he had laughed, “I spent way too much money to get married anywhere else.”

Ashton and Shay looked around to make sure they were alone. “C’mon,” Ashton urged their friend who had become an ordained minister to marry his friends.

“Shay, do you take this man to be your husband?”

“I do!”

“Really?”

“Yes!” she laughed.

“Irwin, do you take her to be your wife?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Alright, kiss the bride.”

Ashton pressed his lips against hers underneath the redwood tree that decorated the yard of the small venue. They had done it. They were finally husband and wife. And they had done it their way, in t-shirts and jeans. Now to put on a show for everyone else’s sake.