#cute 2 me. but i also dt it works with more than 2 kids

[nomaishuttle]

finished the community center today.. unlocked ginger island but im not going til winter.. completed all of my summer checklist items.. caught scorpion carp AND lava eel.... whatever... tch....

4 am and for WHAT. well for sdv. sry

[pancake-breakfast]

I should be sleeping, but I'm not known for my wisdom in that particular field, so on with Trigun Book Club!

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10

Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Volume 1: Covers + 1-2, 2 DT, 3-4, 3 DT, 5-6

TriMax Volume 2: Covers + 1, 2-4

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 2, Chapter 5 below.

Chapter 5: Desperado

Oh, no. They're coming for Vash's friends on the sand steamer.

Wait, that's the girl from the end of the last chapter, huh? That means they can't be far from Milly and Meryl.

Nico-oniisaaaaaaan!!!

"Did your work go well?" Heh. I'll note he does not answer this question. Nicholas D. Wolfwood. The "D" is for "Deflection."

Gods, his hands. This is so much more traumatic in context.

NIGHTOW, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE, LITERALLY ON THE SAME PAGE AS THAT NIGHTMARE?!?!

NM, it's just Vash's bad driving. Or maybe he noticed WW wasn't sleeping so good and decided to unsubtly wake him up?

LOL, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about what's going on in WW's head here, but they're all spoilers, so I'll keep them to myself.

LOLOLOLOL, WW dragging unconscious Vash into the inn and demanding two rooms is just so funny to me. Like, no wonder these people are staring at him like that. They must have SO MANY QUESTIONS.

I assume there will only be one room. And one bed. Edit: My assumption was wrong.

LOL, nothing wakes Vash up quite like the sound of someone else in need, trying to do the right thing against impossible odds.

He's so cute when he's semi-conscious.

WW, what the hell life have you been living? I'm so sorry, my guy. No wonder Vash is giving you such a headache.

I wish I could find a suitable picture to show just how much this building looks like the old Spanish missions dotting the landscape in certain parts of the Southwestern U.S., but it seems like 99.9999% of the pictures are of the buildings inside the walls... or of the ones that have been extensively renovated rather than having crumbly bits like so many of them do. (Also, it's late and so I can't be arsed to do a detailed search. Maybe this will help get my point across? IDK, I'm not writing an essay on Spanish missions right now. I already did that back in 4th grade.)

If I had a son who was recklessly hellbent on getting himself killed alongside me as I defended the town/inn/whatever, I'd tie him up and lock him away, too.

LOL, dehydrated Vash. Gods, babygirl is in baaaaad shape. He's trying, though.

I dunno, a half-dead Vash is still probably pretty competent.

Is now a good time to point out that the word "Desperado" means "The Desperate"? (Also, apparently it's not actually Spanish. We're learning things today in Trigun Book Club.)

"What was that, Vashie?" *Vash barks insistently* "You think you can come up with a plan?" *Vash barks enthusiastically* "Ok, I trust you, boy!" *Vash wags his tail.*

Some quick Spanish notes on page 134 here for those who may not hear these terms so frequently: Mi Amigo = my friend (may not actually indicate a friend; can also be used to create a mock-friendly tone in a situation where intimidation is coming into play) Jefe (pronounced "heh-fay") = slang term meaning "boss" or "leader" (can also be used sort of like "man" or "dude" in English, or in a mock-friendly tone to kinda rub in that the person being called "jefe" is not in charge of the situation) Comprende? = Do you understand?

This guy has too many teeth. And a weird way of standing. Is... is he wearing metal underwear?? What kind of weirdness do you have to go through to get this kind of anatomy? How does he close his lips??? M... maybe it's a mask of some sort??

Holland en Flambe sounds like a dessert.

Rest in peace, vodka. I'm sure someone out there misses you.

Hahahahaha, this kid. He's having to hold the whole weight of intimidation because Vash looks like a rag doll someone left out in the rain too long. Wait. Does Wolfwood know Vash is here?? Heheheheheheheh.... BF's gonna be maaaaaaad....

I love Vash's expression through this bit. He's trying, but he does NOT have the energy for this right now.

FWOOM

Listen to your father, Rob.

Ohhhhh, shit.

Ok, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this. I love the absolute chaos of the top part taking over the whole page, with this guy's shouting bearing down on Vash and the family from the top, claws sweeping in from the left with a motion so fast and deadly it leaves motion lines going all the way up the page... and then, cutting in at the bottom, in a panel that's practically pure-white serenity, the soft but definite *click* of the Punisher's machine gun opening. Beautiful.

And, of course, we turn the page into a two-page spread of Wolfwood letting 'er rip, adding a more controlled and entirely different type of chaos to the scene.

LOL, BF's mad. Just a little, though. Confusion has tempered his anger.

Ok, this, though. How the angle goes from him carelessly tapping Vash on the head with his gun (while practicing shit trigger discipline, I might add) to us looking up at Wolfwood from a perspective very close to what Vash's would be if he could lift his head. How, in the second panel, Wolfwood looks like a desperate man about to pull an executioner's trigger out of fear and confusion for the unknown before him. How, even so, he's debating if Vash is actually the monster he's heard of when there's so much evidence that, despite superhuman skills that Wolfwood has witnessed multiple times firsthand, Vash seems so kind and cares so much for people he ends up in this situation even while half-dead.

Meanwhile, Vash seems to be taking well-deserved nap....

[mochuelovelli]

Some Alt. Jobs for the Kids in the Future:

Mainly doing this as just a thought experiment. Usually people are of one mind on what the kids will *probably* be when they are older(myself included) so I wanted to give some alts that could fit their personalities.

Louie-Manger/Agent:Making this list mainly for him because I recalled Princess Carolyn from BoJack and how her job could fit Louie pretty well. Ik a lot of people headcanon Lawyer! Louie, I do too, but I think this would be a fun idea.

A manager's job is basically finding ways to get their client's hired or trying to tailor a client's project in order for it to be marketable. We already seen Louie do this in his ep this season but I think it be cool if became a legit job for him. He's still a McDuck ward so nothing with his business would be "normal" and he would have to do similar "schemes" to get his clients jobs, especially if they are inter-dimensional goat demons.

Louie would probably say the reason he became a manager would be "because I've been trying to convince people I am good enough my entire life, might as well make a career out of it". Edgy ik, but this is Louie we are talking about of course he say some dumbshit.

Dewey-YouTube Personality: this is probably just a less popular hc rather than one that's not talked about at all like the Louie (or the next couple examples). For me, I can't see Dewey being anything but some kind of globe trotting adventurer who would also record it for views. But in the case that DIDN'T happen, I think he'd become a youtube personality and make shows with his friends and family. I think it be really cute, that even as they grown older and become more independent, Dewey can still find ways to bring them all to his house to be apart of his youtube show(s) where he and a guest try to guess obscure history facts Webby comes up with (Watchers know what I'm talking about) or where he and some friends try to solve unsolved mysteries or try and bake without a recipe (im really showing what content i watch).

His Youtube channel would be sporadic like, "series" but he doesn't make actual playlists (Huey or Violet do) and uploads whatever he wanted to do that week. Good thing is, he never misses an upload date. Almost.

Huey-Military Engineer/Tech Guy (IE better Beaks): I had the hardest time with figuring out Huey since like Webby, he can pretty much be in any field to me (as long as its stem related). This suggestion to me is the least chill out of all of them but I picked it because 1. Huey likes structure and chain of command and 2. Science and defense systems.

Out of his brothers, Huey isn't the most WORRIED about safety but he definitely is the one who would do something about it to fix it. I can see him making some intergalactic defense systems and various prevention junk. Maybe he works under Gosalyn's administration[see gos] or he makes "unnatural-natural phenomenon" protection stuff. Kinda like the seawalls in Venice but like, stuff to make sure the Earth doesn't get destroyed because of all the crazy shit the duckverse has. Like ghost forcefields or the reversal of timephoons. I don't think he would be a Tony Stark character tho so I am not 100% with this one.

He could also just be a tech guy, but yknow, better than Mark Beaks. He accidentally has more followers than him would crush him in twitter fights (an example would be something along the Logan Paul vs Chris D'Elia). I find this just really funny, Huey would actually be what all those "good guy billionaires" claim to be (also he wouldn't be one just as a matter of principle). Owlson would probably be his mentor or maybe just business partner.

Webby-Comic Artist/Cartoonist: Webby, to me, can pretty much go into any field and I would be like "yeah makes sense". However I know in my heart she'd be some kind of spy or detective. Thinking about her being anything else was honestly kinda hard but then I realized she DOES have another hobby which could be turn into a career - her drawings and stories. Webby is definitely a creative person, maybe the most creative so far in front of or slightly behind Dewey, so I think she would like to make comics and cartoons.

If you want to be angsty, maybe she chooses this mundane route because she was somewhat conditioned by her granny (or her creators if theories are to he proven right) to be a super spy; choosing to be a cartoonist is something she was never trained to become and yet she still did because it's something SHE wanted to do for herself.

Lena-Poet/Song Writer: okay another one that might not be uncommon but I like to just see it thrown out there. Lena is cool in large part because of her magic but in a possible similar motivation to Webby, she wanted to be a poet not only because she was good at it but because she wanted to be. This doesn't have to be her main hussle, usually I don't see it as such, but I also think it be cute if she became a new Robert Frost (this is the only poet ik sorry).

Violet-Cosmologist: Most people see Violet as either some kind of chemist, professor, or occasionally a witch. I think another good alt tho would be cosmology since Violet herself wants to understand the world around her, which is a bit different from Huey who wants to obtain knowledge for knowledge sake in the case it might come in handy though not extremely. Cosmology as field in the dt universe must be WILD too since im pretty sure most scientists know of all the magic and junk, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if there was a legit subject on it or multiple. Trying to make sense of YOUR universe while knowing others exist along with time travel, possibly multiple after lifes? Its a lot. Perfect job for Vi.

Boyd-Therapist/architect: I feel like this isn't such a niche hc, but I do see more folks make him into his own superhero and/or an accountant. I might be playing into the Baymax stereotype of robots being good mental health assistants but idc, I think it's warranted since he has gone through and understands trauma. Maybe he focuses on those who need rehabilitation or are unable to get paid treatment. Maybe he just helps those who have committed crimes. Another alt is that he becomes an architect, building well planned buildings and public spaces in a flash by utilizing his vast abilities. He might even be commissioned to make space colony housing.

Gosalyn-Politican: Alright so, Gosalyn being a superhero like her dad is like, canon but again in an alt universe where it WASN'T (or maybe later in her life) I can see her becoming political. Frank even laid out some of what inspired this iteration of Gosalyn which included notable political activists, so as of rn its not that far of a stretch to say she might be interested in that. I have a feeling its happens because she gets riled up for something in particular rather than she always wanted to be a career politician or whatever. She would definitely be a less polished politician and that be her appeal, she'd kinda be like an AOC in that regard(im sorry I tried really hard not to name drop political figures but-). An example of her "abnormal" diplomacy tactics is where she stopped Ragnarok semi permanently by absolutely wrecking their shit. (She be dramatic about it like her dad, coming in her normal President wear and then throw it off to reveal some crazy wrestling shit. Louie would also make a lot of money that day.)

[hoodie-lover]

Testing Part 2

Sans saw their subject open his eyes, it was a success. Papyrus was in the shower, washing off the blood of another fallen child. 

“Hey Flowey. Are you ok?” Sans asked, poking the flower in his face. 

“Who’s Flowey?” The flower asked, recoiling at the sight of the unknown monster. 

“You’re Flowey. Don’t you remember?” Sans said, faking his shock. 

“No. I don’t remember anything.” Flowey said, and Sans internally jumped for joy, the amnesiac worked. 

“Flowey, I’m your dad.” Sans said, pretending to hold back fake tears. 

“Dad...” Flowey latched onto the word, and Sans held his breath. 

“Try to remember.” Sans urged, testing to see if he would need more of the amnesiac. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry, what’s a dad?” Flowey asked, and Sans sighed in relief. 

“A dad is someone who takes care of you. Gives you a home and helps you grow strong.” Sans explained, petting Flowey.

“Ok, Dad.” Flowey said, still confused, and Sans picked up the flower pot. 

Sans walked past the room where Stephanie was being kept, he paused for a moment, long enough for Flowey to take notice of the door. 

“What’s that?” Flowey asked, and Sans gave a sad sigh. 

“Your sister is in there. She’s really sick and we’re trying to help her.” Sans lied, a somber smile spreading across his face. 

“What’s a sister?” Flowey asked, very confused. 

“A sister is someone who has the same dad as you, but they’re a girl.” Sans explained and Flowey wilted. 

“I don’t remember them.” And Sans pat Flowey. 

“It’s ok. We can make new memories together.” Flowey beamed when he heard those words.

“Who’s we?” Flowey asked and Sans smiled with joy. 

“My brother. He’s like a sister, but a boy like me. Brothers help dads with their kids, like you and your sister. You can call him Uncle” Sans said as he opened a large metal door.  

“This is your room Flowey. I need to leave you here for now ok. I need to get my brother.” Sans said as he left Flowey in a 5x5 concrete cell and left. 

Tragically, the smile on the former prince’s face was one of pure joy as he looked around his room. Nothing felt familiar, it was foregien, something had made him scared. But he buried these feelings, he knew he had a dad and a sister, and someone who helped his dad keep him safe and loved. It would all end up ok, he just knew it. 

Sans was more happy than ever, the flower was sentient, and it was the only one that came alive. It also happened to me the only one that had monster dust sprinkled on it. He rushed to his room, which was a quick teleport away and pulled out one of his many notebooks and scribbled down his thoughts. Once again he cursed his ability to not have a notebook in the secret lab. 

He was awoken from his trance by a loud knock at the door. Papyrus. 

“Brother, I assume the project went well?” Papyrus asked, and Sans nodded, his eyes sparkling. 

“I’m glad. Can I go and meet my nephew now?” Sans nodded once again and the two teleported outside Flowey’s cell. 

“Here he is!” Sans announced as he opened the door with authority, startling the small flower.

“Hello dear Flowey! I am your Uncle Papyrus!” Papyrus said, his voice loud and overwhelming. 

“H-hi...” Flowey whispered, cowering away from Papyrus. 

“Do not be scared my dear nephew! I am so sorry I scared you, I will try to be more quiet.” Papyrus said, as he lowered his voice and picked up the small flower pot. 

“I’ll do my best to not scare you.” Papyrus said as he pet Flowey, and then placed him back down on the ground. 

“Ok!” He chirped, smiling cute smile. 

“We’ll need to check up on Frisk, your sister, for a while. We’ll be back soon to help train you in your magical abilities.” Sans said and Flowey perked up. 

“Magical abilities?! What’s that?” Flower asked, and Sans winked as he left the flower in the cell alone. 

“That was rude Sans.” Papyrus commented as they made their way to Stephanie’s room. 

“I need to keep him asking questions, see what he thinks about and deduce from our hints. It will tell us how Frisk might think, it's the same dust after all.” Sans explained as he opened the door to the comatose child.

They had to put an oxygen mask on her due to the lack of DT keeping her together, so she needed more help. 

“What if he can’t use magic?” Papyrus asked, and Sans gave him a wicked grin. 

“Inject it into him.” Papyrus returned the grin, chuckling grimly. 

“Could something like that strengthen him?” And Sans got an amazing idea. 

“If you can get me some, subjects, we can see.” Sans said as he stroked the thinning hair of their poor child. 

“Consider it done dear brother of mine.” Papyrus said as he teleported out of the room. 

“Hold on my dear Frisk. You’ll meet your father soon, and you better make me proud.” Sans threatened, his fingers trailed over her thin form, gentle but itching to make her bleed. 

He made his way past Flowey’s room, where muttering could be heard, and to a large password protected door. He entered GASTER and walked into a prison. Children and adults lined the walls, chained, bloodied, beaten, and many other horrible things. He approached the last cell in the row. The person inside was a teenager, they had a soul of perseverance, perfect for being Sans’ toy. 

“Hello Fredrick. Happy to see me?” Sans asked, taking off his hoodie and putting on a black trench coat. 

Fredrick was unresponsive, glaring at his skeleton captor.

“Shame. I was hoping you had a snarky remark or a new pun for me. But I’m sure your screams will suffice.” Sans said as he entered the cell. 

He grabbed Fredrick’s arm with both of his hands and drilled his fingers into the flesh. Fredrick bit his lip, trying not to scream, but Sans only forced his fingers deeper into his arm. By the time Sans could grab Fredrick’s arm bone, he pulled the muscles, slowly dragging them out from the limb. 

“S...t...o...p...” Fredrick breathed, panting. 

“Oh, you want me to stop? Why should I? You’re nothing but a pathetic human who, like an idiot, fell into our kingdom. The place your kind banished us to.” Sans explained, tugging on the ripped muscles. 

“Why do you do this?” Fredrick asked, gritting his teeth. 

“I’ve answered this before but I’ll repeat myself. I want you to pay for what you did to us. You're a human, and therefore guilty.” Sans said as he ripped the muscle from the arm. 

His hands were bloody, and the meat in his hand was tempting. Using one of his bloody hands he grabbed Fredrick’s chin and forced him to watch Sans’ face. As Sans’ eyelights blanked out, he opened his mouth and bit the piece of muscle. Unable to blink, with his eyelids ripped out a few months ago, Fredrick was forced to watch as his captor ate his arm’s muscles. 

Sans, Papyrus, and Flowey belong to Toby Fox

Next

First

[crossedbeams]

ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E11 Eve

<<1.10 Fallen Angel ———————————  1.12 Fire >>

I’m salty today and what better way than to transfer that into something positive than to finish this long overdue and almost certainly irrelevant recap of Eve. Read on for children who are almost as scary as their acting is bad, prison aesthetics and idiotic blithering by me.

THE PLOT

The fathers of creepy children are being exsanguinated on opposite coasts and Mulder wants to know the aliens have upgraded from cows. IVF suspicions run wild and with a little help from good old Deep Throat, the terrific two suspect genetic government experiments gone wrong may be responsible for the shenanigans. When the creepy kids go missing, things escalate and soda becomes a very dangerous refreshment...

Let’s go...

MY STREAM OF SEMI-CONSCIOUSNESS

Ah. The X-Files, the show that is always a scenic autumnal bath for my eyes…. And where under the leaves there is probably a dead person eaten by a molewoman or an alien. Honey? I’m home.

We find ourselves in an idyllic suburban neighbourhood, (always bad news on screen), where very concerned joggers approach an underdressed child and her stuffed animal. It’s hard at this stage to decipher whether the kid is creepy or just a really bad actor but the suspense synth hardly encourages us to give her the benefit of the doubt...

They head to the backyard, where peppy jogging neighbour fails to notice that the kid’s dad is dead coloured, posed like a corpse and basically, stereotypically and obviously dead... until he claps him jovially on the shoulder causing a tragicomic half slump of dead dad, and exposing vampiric looking marks. The kid screams, not sure why, she’s way too far away to see anything. This is the point at which I begin to suspect that she is both a bad actor AND entry #224 in the Vancouver local listing of Creepy Kids for Hire. Move over Conduit boy!

CREDITS!

This week we only wait 2.5 mins for our special baby Agents to materialise, Scully dressed as a Catholic grade schooler and Mulder wearing a tie designed, as far as I can tell, to look like mushroom soup with licorice allsorts floating in it.

Their poor fashion choices don’t seem to put them off them though, and we zigzag between lip biting (Mulder), making weird moany noises (Scully), and the level of inter office eye contact we’ve come to expect from these fluffy baby agents all set to a soundtrack of cattle mutilation chatter. And our series first (!) cow slideshow!

Scully is still naive enough to ask why Mulder believes cattle mutilation is linked to aliens. Give it a few weeks and you’ll realise that aliens is pretty much always the answer to “Why….” on the X-Files and that eyebrow is the only appropriate response before you just go with it.

I can’t wait :D

As Mulds and Sculls traverse some stairs, I realise that creepy kid #1 is called Teena. Spelled the same as Mulder’s mum. Because apparently the X-Files name bank isn’t only shallow in the male department. Also is Teena a normal spelling in the States? Here it’d only really be Tina….

I then get distracted by Scully in the biggest of purple coats. I’d love to see S1 Scully’s closet. A symphony of oversized pastels with overcoats to clash… don’t worry though hon. You’ll get some style later though for the bargain price of two (2) family members and also your ova. Poor Scully.

Scully also looks incredibly young in this scene, speaking all soft to the kid. Moments like this I struggle to believe that Mulder “never saw her as a mom” until Home. She’s all melty round the edges even though the kid is weird and creepy.

When creepy Teena starts talking about red lightning, the massively coached and unnatural pauses in dialogue and the trouble pronouncing exsanguination are just so glaring you can’t believe that this kid’s innocent charade will hold up as long as it does. But it all adds to the creep, just in time for…

**bring bring ** Scully leans in to kiss her spoopy partner tell Mulder there has been another murder. Darn. Seriously though. Close talkin to the power on uuuungghhh right here. No wonder this fandom is so thirsty.

We’re in Vancouver San Franciso, still in giant coats, for another exsanguination and what we now know is death by digitalis. Mulder says that the two estimated times of death were at the “exact same time” and I chuckle to myself like the pedant I am. Estimates cannot be exact dumdum. It also takes the edge off him mansplaining timezones to Scully. SHE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR DAMMIT. 

This scene has very nice warm, sunsetty lighting which is nice as our Spooksters demonstrate why the X-Files department is always over budget; they’ve flown cross country to do two laps of a crime scene while reading a file aloud and the kid they wanna question isn’t even in town. Where is she? I’m glad you asked, coz remember that sunny warmness? Well it’s over.

Back on the east coast, creepTeena is getting outcreeped by a thunderstorm and what appear to be disembodied footsteps at her door. We see nothing but a flash and then the door is open. It’s tense and I’m pretty sure this is never explained, raised as a concern beyond “she got abducted”?

A new day means new suits, Mulder in a tie inspired by parquet flooring and Scully in eggshell and pinstripes and a brown trenchcoat named regret. It’s a lot to process and they still don’t seem overly concerned about Teena’s kidnapping. Despite his post Samantha abduction PTSD, Mulder’s only contribution is a dramatic sky point and the suggestion the cops need to look up, but then dun dun dduuuuunh - there’s another one.

Sinister Cindy in the house. Literally.

She informs them she has lived there “since she was born eight years ago”. Zero inflection with that info and a sentence structure as unnatural as the phenomena Mulder wants to blame. Deffo a rent-a-creepykid. 100%. The woodenness only adds to it.

Commence super awkward kitchen convo where they Mulder and Scully try and fail to find a tactful way to imply Cindy might not be this grieving wife’s legitimate child. A birthing video is offered and declined. Thank god. Imagine is CHris Carter had to watch rushes of an actual woman’s vagina with a female child emerging. 

Mrs Reardon’s insistence that Cindy was daddy’s girl is pretty horrifying once you know how it ends. Damn creepy kids. Listening in while watching politics, Cindy is infinitely creepier than Teena and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not for this kid “actor”.

Back in the car and Mulder is still pretty blase about Teena’s abduction/kidnap, though I forgive him because his flippant potato/potahto is adorable and he does hang out in the bushes to try and protect Cindy from getting nabbed sending Scully off to the IVF clinic alone. Ahh... the foreshadowing is out there.

At the Luther Stapes Medical Centre, a doctor mansplains IVF to Scully. She does not punch him. Another way that she is better than me.She does however, maintain super intense eye contact with him for the entire walk and truly it is a miracle she doesn’t fall over.

The next scene is pretty uneventful except that I can honestly say that Sally Kendrick is the last human I would want toying with my cervix. She’s...robotic and it looks like she has to work out how to sit down like a human. She could give Theresa May lessons.

Back at the hotel there’s some funky camera panning that I am here for and also I think there is some dialogue but let’s be honest.... this is more important 

Yes Professor I would like some extra credit and may I also just smooth your poofy hair.

Even Scully knows it. Hence her confusion at being ushered out, for no obvious reason. She just wants to look at him and maybe get inside his shirt and ... and... Mulder’s “what’s a girl” is cute.... but this is cuter. (even more overanalysing of this scene here for ya glasses lovers). 

Instead of meeting a girl, Mulder meets Deep Throat in an excessively aesthetically pleasing place. Honestly, Eve is a beautiful episode. Despite the creepy kids and imprisoned women. (Eve Aesthetic here). DT seems very concerned that Scully not be invited and while I’m sure that this has some link to the possibility of spy!Scully, it reads more as jealous older manfriend wants pretty Mulder to himself. And honestly I get it. God, fic has ruined me. Anyway, enough of that, enjoy this picture of pensive waterside Mulder and try to recall the specifics of the Deep Throat reveal. Project Blah. Boys called Adam. Girls called Eve. Clones. Bad. Disaster. EVE-il is at work. ¬¬ (sorry)

Mulder has brought sunflower seeds because meeting an informant without snacks = rookie error. 

The important thing to note is that Deep Throat basically sets the stage for the Super Soldier Arc and everyone forgets about it when they actually get to the super soldier arc. God, for a continuity pedant, my fave is SO problematic!

Deep Throat finishes by telling Mulder he’s scored him front row seats to what’s left of the whole fucked up thing.

Cut to the most aesthetic Institute for the criminally insane and after some hot DAMN camera angles we get panic buttons and a tromp into the deeps where they keep all the government created monsters, including Eve 6.

I just wanna take a moment away from my snark and give a huge shout out to Harriet Harris who is SO good and creepy in this episode. A lot of the Season 1 extras/bit parts are average to the extreme and honestly, Harris makes this episode. Without her eyeball biting, jerky, wild eyed delivery, this ep would be as mediocre as the creepy twin actresses.

Now we’ve got that out of the way - we find out that Eve 6 screams when the lights are on but is fine with  an industrial sized flashlight being shone all up in her face.  Nobody’s ever got a good look at her... except presumably the person who undoes her straitjacket so she can pee? And now Mulder and Scully.

Eve 6 is my fave Eve tbh. She’s this perfect mix of terrifying and pitiful, alludes to the telekinetic connection that the younger Eve twins later reference, and is the kind of proof of government misdeed that and older Mulder and Scully despair of, delivered while they’re way too young in their partnership to do anything about it. She tells them that Eves are into suicide, psychosis and murder, and on exiting, our baby agents still don’t suspect the kids.

(Break for actual analysis) It struck me during this scene how this case tunes into both Mulder and Scully’s demons. For Mulder, it’s the missing girls and the incarcerated Eve represents a scenario that could explain Samantha’s absence in the most horrifying ways. What if she is a locked up experiment just like Eve 6? For Scully it’s a visceral representation of her struggle between scientific duty and Christian morality. The creation of Eve 6 is an aberration against both good scientific practice AND the divine right of Good to control life and death... and yet she is also a victim who did not choose too be engineered and while Scully tries to question her, maintaining composure, this face/stress swallow really says it all.

Just to double the sucker punch we cut to Cindy asking the lord to take her soul, her mother looking on with a mournful doomladen stare before telling her daughter how special she is. Cindy is unmoved, because she is special(ly evil) and Mama Reardon leaves, bereft of her husband and unacknowledged by her kid. We get it Chris Carter. Genetic experimentation BAD, family GOOD, foreboding, CHECK.... now can we just-

Mulder Scully stakeout! There is no iced tea in the bag and when Mulder posits that the adult Eves 7 & 8 did done the murders, Scully pulls this face, and mutters without much conviction that she was beginning to suspect the girls. 

GOOD CALL SCULLY

Except Mulder then says “no no and here is why” and Scully just goes with it. The whole delivery at set up of this scene feels very Season 1, by which I mean Scully vacillates wildly between submitting to Mulder’s experience and being done.with.his.shit, Mulder gets all the big lines/theories/feelings/hunches and Gillian especially (and David to a lesser degree) seem unsure how to play their nuances and dynamic. Essentially it all becomes irrelevant because CRISIS takes precedent but being the super-nerd I am, this stuff fascinates me as evidence of them still learning their characters. No way S5 Scully gives up on a plausible theory so easily, even if it makes 8-yos into suspects. If cats can be evil, these staring, soulless kids can be too.

Cue Mark Snow jangles and Cindy and her similar to Teena’s bunny rabbit run away from her terrifying wall dolls and many crucifixes towards the window where she makes terrifying eye contact with Scully’s binoculars before getting grabbed by someone who is considerate enough to announce themselves by turning on the lights?!.

Mulder will take the back! (any time Mulder. Any way ¬¬ ) and sets off with his almost convincingly held gun/torch combo while Scully takes the indoors. This is, invariably, only going to go one way.

DOWN GOES SCULLY!

Sally Kendrick/Eve? leaps through the window where Mulder confronts her by asking her which Eve she is, allowing her a chance to pull a gun, shoot at him and escape and this is why you don’t want S1 Muldo and Sculls handling your home invasion. I mean who holds their gun like this, takes out a psychopath and ends the day without a hole in them?

Fox “Thinks he can outrun a car” Mulder is who. 

I love his idiot face though.

Despite the fact that Cindy didn’t struggle/scream/react to her apparent kidnap at all, Scully’s remaining focussed on the adult Eves in support of Mulder’s dismissal of her earlier theory... well I already said it but - *sigh*

After Scully briefs the police and Mulder tries to reassurea distraught Mrs Reardon that her increasingly abnormal daughter will be found we get the kind of side by side, meaningful  moment that I am here for all day long. Except that the height difference is so extreme that they never actually get Scully in focus!

And Scully’s “and then what” brings us back to unsettling truth that even if the kid gets found, things aren’t looking good for her given how much murder is in her genes. Poor Mrs Reardon.

Very X-Files, through-the-motel-sign shot and we see Sally Kendrick taking Cindy into motel to meet Teena. The girls look... creepy... and Kendrick looks weirdly and simplistically happy given that she has multiple abductees, severe genetic issues and the FBI on her back. Maybe poor old Sal just wants a normal life? Unlucky girl, this is the X-Files, no happy ending for anyone EVERR. Except possibly a two-faced rapist who likes Cher but that’s for another time.

Back to Sally Kendrick who is rocking a poloneck and showing a remarkable lack of nutritional concern for someone supposedly a genius. Pretty sure 8 cartons of fries are no better for psychotic murder-kids than regular ones. She begins to explain that she was pretty hopeful that she’s evolved the murdering out of her second batch of Eves but turns out she actually made it worse! Let’s pop a check in the box for “playing into popular concerns about genetic testing” and “reasons you shouldn’t do it yourself”. She tells Cindy and Teena she’s “disappointed” that they’ve done murders ahead of the curve. They are not bothered which is unsurprising given they don’t know her/are psychopaths.

Aesthetically this scene is very pleasing and the lack of stilted kid dialogue “we just knew” vs. long sentences definitely adds to tension. As does the total lack of background music. Hearing even these fairly limited actors candidly and remorselessly admit to murder is effective. And Kendrick’s slightly desperate plea that they not think that way, that they be “better” as she designed has the double effect of showing her own Eve-y instability and her very human desire to not have made a horrible mistake in creating this terrifying she-devils.

Sorry Sal.

Genetic destiny’s a bitch

And the X-Files narrative demands that when you play god you get dead. unless you’re the CSM in which case you probably drink digitalis and kale for breakfast to aid skin regrowth. Bye bye Sally Kendrick. Thanks for the creepers.

On attending the crime scene, Mulder and Scully are midway through being told that the scene is undisturbed when they hear stuff breaking. This prompts some X-Files-Action-MagicTM and some truly outrageous faces by Gillian.

Yup

What is most disturbing on rewatching is that with the scene secured, Scully confirms death and Mulder goes to gaze out the window while the Creeper twins cower and cry on the floor. Noe we know they’re guilty AF by this point, but in the narrative DumbScull and MulderingItOver haven’t quite got there because they’ve been too busy gazing at each other so we have two children just whimpering in the corner while Scully pokes a corpse and Mulder mulders about. 

Scully does eventually go and pat them. And again I say fuck you CC and anyone else who “didn’t see her as a mother”.

Mulder volunteers to chaperone the creepsters to hospital and beyond and the guy in charge kinda just goes “meh”. Pretty sure some liberties have been taken with child service procedures but hey, at least this means we’re almost at the crescendo moment. Right?

Having loaded them into the car, where their spiffy red outfits match the velour upholstery and promised they’ll talk about “what happens next” (again, is this really FBI jurisdiction? Fox Mulder counselling bereaved kids seems like a HORRIBLE plan to me) , Scully and Mulder note the girls attachment and somehow miss the horrifying expressions of murder on their creepy little faces. 

Again though #aesthetic

Cue some spangly night driving music, Mulder looking all pops over a red vinyl steering wheel, Scully playing mom and the creepsters plotting murder in the back. Ver ver X-Files. They pull up to a used car lot masquerading as a rest stop and go for a group wee,Mulder makes the rookie error of a) hyping evil kids with sugar and b) letting them order a murder weapon, and as soon as Scully’s distracted, one of the creepsters, possibly Sinister Cindy creeps out to spike the drinks. 

Now at this point, honestly, I’m questioning the kids narrative motives. Yes they’re murderous, but aren’t they also meant to be hyper intelligent? Amd getting marooned at a nowhere rest stop, with the corpses of two FBI agents seems SUPER dumb. Like they’re a bit small and loudly dressed to hitch a ride to Vegas and make it on the strip. What gives, creepsters?

The waitress tries to stop her plan by insisting she wait to take the soda until it’s paid for, but is way too easily placated by the kids excuse. Stick to your guns lady, you might just stop a murder.

Although apparently nobody is paying any attention because THIS ISN’T SUSPICIOUS AT ALL IS IT?

Apparently Mulder doesn’t think so, even knowing digitalis is sweet and that there is something weird afoot, he doesn’t question his super sweet diet drink or the kids totally normal and not at all weirdly resistant to drinking sugar free soda and just does this. Seriously it’s like he wants to die in agony.

Scully’s not much better, simply commenting on the “syrupy” taste. MMhmm. Bitch. You’re a medical doctor with a previously voiced suspicion. Quit sipping the murder juice.

Fortunately, after some suspenseful drawn out paying and a forgotten key excuse, Mulder FINALLY twigs when he finds some green goop on the table. Apparently murderTwin is cackhanded when she pours and Mulder, having licked the poison just to check it’s murdery enough (I just cant even) rushes outside to karate chop Scully’s drink away from her in a way so unsubtle that the creepers escape.

Which is actually great news because it gives us all the chance for a nice dark, X-Files bread and butter cat and mouse around a truckstop, cool lighting and tubey-arty stuff sequence. Which I’m here for. 

Despite some pants ruining puddles, the twins are quickly apprehended except for some gun wielding truckers interfere because in this universe regular citizens can hold law enforcement at gunpoint and prevent them doing their job/identifying themselves and anyway everyone almost gets shot and the kids run off again. I should probably insert some pithy political point here about arming the kids too but I’ve been writing this review for 84 years and I don’t have the energy.

Fortunately, at this point Mulder and Scully rediscover some investigative nous and having flashed an ID and truckboy, they trick Sinister and Creepy into thinking they’ve sped off after a school bus. Mulder goes full on child catcher and nabs them with a “gotcha” and is finally deaf to their “we’re just little girls” plea.

I’d like to take a second to flag up his response “that’s the last thing you are” because he’s wrong too. They are little girls, as well as psychopaths, and everyone’s insistence that they must be one thing or another is a device for narrative obfuscation as old as the bible. The appearance of beauty/youth/innocence is not mutually exclusive of the presence of malign intent or evil. Just ask Henry James/Oscar Wilde. Or me. I literally wrote a dissertation on this so. Yeah. They can be little girls and killers Mulder. Don’t be reductive.

But I guess we do need the simplicity of “this kid is evil” otherwise Mrs Reardon ripping her daughter out of a picture and burning it would be more conflicting and we’re only on season 1. 

Likewise the disturbing concept of two eight year olds in a secure prison. I mean yes thy’re creepy but - duh duh dunnnnh - rescue is at hand! Eve 8 shows up for them and once again thy “just knew”. This is the kind of X-Files ending I love. This is the kidn of story I would have loved the revivals to pick up. Imagine (recast) grown Cindy and Teena, off doing murdery clone stuff. Yep. Okay. I’m done now. This is the end. 

Except the score. Which is...

A solid “C” Grade (26/50)

Plot 6/10 - It’s entertaining and a good idea but I penalised it because it depends on Mulder and Scully being super slow on the uptake. That said, they do actually solve the case.

Mulder  6/10 - Mulder is in charge (thanks S1) and presents a mess of grieving brother, heroic car catcher and good cop. Good, in character stuff but not exceptional.

Scully  4/10 - Scully seems to forget she’d an MD and a badass here. She lets Mulder talk her out of (correct) suspicions, gets taken down in the action scene and generally second fiddles. She’s a cute mom but not the Scully we want to see.

USP 3/5  - This was an ambitious idea, beautifully presented, and while it didn’t quite get the polish to make it iconic it is memorable, creepy and a good representation of S1 bread and butter eps. 

Other Characters  5/10 - These points are all for Harriet Harris. None for you creeper twins. None for you.

Bonus points 2/10 - One for being aesthetically pleasing. One for the dorky, cute, feeling out Mulder/Scully moments (motel urnghh) and also their mom and pop act at the rest stop.

That’s all for now folks. I’ll probably have the next one done this decade. Fire. Goodie.

<< 1.10 Fallen Angel ———————————  1.12 Fire >>

[dragons-bones]

MOAR ‘BUNCLES

A discussion of assorted carbuncle shenanigans from earlier this week, featuring @chaemera, @tehjai, and @wanderedaimlessly.

TL;DR: Ivar has a grenade function. As in, he is the grenade. Also he nearly had a beam cannon function and Eorzea should be grateful Synnove vetoed that. (Even though it would be really, really cool. But there’s no way any of her babies would act responsibly with that on tap.)

(MOBILE USERS I APOLOGIZE IF THE READ MORE DOESN’T WORK)

[1:46 PM] Chaemera: I just had a horrible idea [1:48 PM] Chaemera: carbuncle grenades [1:48 PM] DT: what [1:49 PM] Chaemera: consider: carbuncles are organized masses of aether [1:50 PM] DT: Following so far - ooooohhhhh [1:50 PM] Chaemera: it is theoretically possible to insert a directive into that system to cause it to catastrophically liberate all that energy [1:50 PM] Chaemera: picks up Ivar, boops, throws [1:50 PM] Chaemera: EXPLOSION [1:51 PM] DT: Ivar reforms at Synnove's feet all smug. "Look, mommy, I blew them up!" [1:51 PM] Chaemera: meanwhile Synnove is trying to decide on having her face go D8 or :o [1:52 PM] DT: On the one hand science, on the other oh gods my baby [1:52 PM] Chaemera: mostly I'm just giggling over the idea of Khebi panicking in a combat situation, scooping up Ivar all "Sorry! FRAG OUT" [1:53 PM] Chaemera: Synnove: what are you doing to my child [1:54 PM] DT: Ivar carby-cackles as he flies through the air [1:54 PM] Chaemera: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEboom [1:54 PM] Jai: He tries to form up again and gets stuck; someone has to pull him out by his tail [1:55 PM] DT: Synnove: /blue screens Galette: /pokes mommy's cheek [1:55 PM] DT: Literally has to yoink him the rest of the way out of his ruby [1:55 PM] Chaemera: schlllllkkkkkkkkpop [1:56 PM] Jai: When he gets really stuck they have to call Kelt. [1:56 PM] Jai: that is why Ivar inexplicably likes her [1:57 PM] Chaemera: I just made myself snortlaugh at folks trying to diagnose the issue and Kelt popping Ivar's ruby into her mouth to swish it around with a thoughtful expression [1:57 PM] DT: Synnove quietly shrieks [1:58 PM] DT: One time One time they use Tyr [1:58 PM] DT: Him big. Sheepdog big. Very aetherically dense. [1:58 PM] DT: Biiiiig boom. [1:59 PM] DT: Takes five people to tug him out of his topaz [1:59 PM] Chaemera: I think I just gave myself diabetes with a mental image: Khebi curled up and napping against Ivar [2:00 PM] DT: /diiiiiiiiiies [2:01 PM] Chaemera: big fluffy warm purring pillow [2:03 PM] DT: Ivar luvs his favorite people very much [2:03 PM] DT: And will set everyone else on fire :) [2:03 PM] Chaemera: even more sickening: her napping on Tyr [2:04 PM] Chaemera: he's bigger than she is [2:04 PM] Jai: The carbies' real bff: a chicken [2:05 PM] Chaemera: Synnove's kids and their insatiable lust for Keltgeim's cock [2:05 PM] Chaemera: /flee! [2:05 PM] Jai: Either that or they tolerate Heihei and his stupidity [2:05 PM] DT: Ivar is not allowed to be left alone with Heihei [2:06 PM] DT: /throws things at Chaemera [2:06 PM] Chaemera: X3 [2:07 PM] DT: Ivar is capable of cooking his own dinner [2:07 PM] DT: Tyr turns into a loaf all -_- as the chicken climbs all over him [2:07 PM] Chaemera: bok bok bok [2:09 PM] Jai: Chicken is pecking at nothing; carby nudges chicken so that his food is nearby. Chicken turns 45 degrees & goes back to pecking at nothing. [2:09 PM] Jai: This is how we learned that carbies can sigh [2:10 PM] DT: /cackles [2:10 PM] Chaemera: also Khebi is not allowed to tinker with Synnove's carbies [2:12 PM] DT: Synnove does not allow access to her summoning arrays any more. The grenade function in Ivar is useful but traumatizing to watch [2:12 PM] Chaemera: because I just started thinking of things she would think of as "improvements" [2:12 PM] Chaemera: like integrating a "Fetch" module into Tyr where he physically encapsulates the target [2:13 PM] Chaemera: or a beam cannon into Ivar [2:14 PM] Chaemera: (her idea to have Galette fly her around is thwarted by the realization that Galette would more likely just use it to get at treats previously out of reach) [2:17 PM] DT: Synnove immediately vetoes both Fetch and beam canon options because fetch means Tyr will abuse it to get Synnove to stay in bed and cuddle all day, and Ivar will literally try to destroy a city. [2:17 PM] DT: Flying Galette is a nightmare incarnate. No pastry is safe [2:17 PM] Chaemera: Khebi points out this is no different than Tyr just lying on top of Synnove [2:17 PM] Chaemera: also Ivar tries to do that anyway [2:18 PM] DT: Yes but with the beam cannon he would succeed [2:18 PM] DT: And she can push Tyr off herself. [2:23 PM] Chaemera: heeheehee [2:26 PM] Chaemera: though this also brings the hilarious mental image of Tyr in the morning just loafing aggressively on Synnove's face [2:39 PM] DT: And the entire top half of the bed [2:39 PM] DT: A muffled, "Tyr, if I can't breathe I can't cuddle you," can be heard [2:40 PM] Chaemera: he purrs harder [2:47 PM] Chaemera: (it's almost as if I've lived with cats) [3:29 PM] Chaemera: no Khebi stop trying to figure out how to adapt your carbuncle summoning array into a particle cannon [6:16 PM] Jai: i get the feeling that the carbies just have the run of the house [6:16 PM] Jai: they show up in others' rooms [6:16 PM] Chaemera: phase through walls when you try to lock them out [6:17 PM] DT: Galette, Tyr, and Ivar have standing orders to "obey the laws of physics unless it's a life or death emergency, Mommy doesn't like her brain breaking," but they just take that to mean don't do it where Mommy can see. [6:17 PM] DT: Everyone else can suck it the fuck up [6:18 PM] DT: How else do you think Galette gets into the pie [6:18 PM] Chaemera: rule zero: don't get caught [6:21 PM] DT: Look there's a reason that Galette meshed so well with the Garuda-egi, she just channels Garuda's megalomaniac crazy into sugar-crazes and pranks [6:22 PM] Chaemera: no Khebi you are not allowed to test and find out what Gallete's upper confection-bound is [6:23 PM] DT: Synnove would never forgive Khebi for that. Galette once get into the cake at a wedding reception, she didn't stop vibrating for about a week. [6:24 PM] Chaemera: this would be carefully metered doses of maple syrup administered in a laboratory environment! [6:25 PM] Chaemera: just... the doses would keep coming until Galette turned them down [6:25 PM] Chaemera: while Khebi keeps careful track [6:25 PM] DT: Somewhere Synnove's brain has broken at the horror [6:26 PM] Chaemera: Galette ends up launched over Limsa bay as she goes critical [6:27 PM] Jai: i wonder if everyone save Synnove tends to secretly feed Galette sweets [6:28 PM] Chaemera: probably [6:30 PM] DT: probably [6:32 PM] Chaemera: though with Khebi there's also a 50% risk that she'll just distractedly scoop Galette up during treat-begging and carry her around as a thinking-plushy [6:33 PM] Chaemera: "Think, think, think..." <galette muttering about how this was not going as planned> [6:33 PM] Jai: they hide in Kelt's room [6:34 PM] Jai: "hey have you seen the carbies?" "didja check under my couch?" [6:35 PM] DT: Both ideas = me dead from cute [6:35 PM] Chaemera: I just giggle a lot at the thought of Khebi wandering past Synnove with Galette in-arms, wearing that thousand-yalm-stare as she chews through some theoretical problem, and Galette just giving mom the "why, why this" face [6:36 PM] Jai: so Kelt's kicking back reading some book about astrophysics and suddenly there's a noise from under the couch.  she lifts book, there's one carby.  some time later, two.  then finally, Tyr tries to sit on her head. [6:36 PM] Chaemera: <loaf'd> [6:36 PM] Jai: Kelt picks them up by the scruff, stares them in the eyes, and admonishes them [6:37 PM] Jai: "tyr there is a whole other half of the couch.  go there." [6:38 PM] DT: Tyr likes to think he is smol [6:38 PM] Chaemera: like those mastiffs that think they're lapdogs [6:38 PM] DT: And Synnove just raises an eyebrow at Galette to remind her this is what happens when she begs for treats outside snacktime from other arcanists. [6:38 PM] Chaemera: though I just had an adorable idea: Synnove getting scholar's-back from being bent over her desk for too long, having Tyr make biscuits on her spine [6:39 PM] DT: !!!! [6:40 PM] DT: He's, like, the size of a sheepdog, and his aetheric density is translated to weight by his programming, he could make biscuits or just walk up and down Synnove's back and it would work out nicely [6:41 PM] Chaemera: <knead knead knead mildly unsettling crunching noises knead> [6:41 PM] Jai: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/e1/cb/68/e1cb6808b17e67ee8e53921f861a6d85.jpg

[6:43 PM] DT: <loud groan of relief from the pillow Synnove has her face smushed into> [6:43 PM] DT: Yes that is Tyr-size. :D [6:48 PM] Chaemera: Khebi's carbuncle is much less defined in terms of personality compared to Synnove's three, but it also has a lot of under the hood tweaking in place [6:48 PM] Chaemera: and often just blatantly ignores things like "laws of physics" [6:49 PM] Chaemera: it's more of a computational and utility entity than a personality [6:51 PM] DT: Yeah, Synnove prioritizes personality above everything else; utilities like the passive aetheric sensors got added over the years. [6:53 PM] Chaemera: whereas Khebi needed an assistant first, and forgot about "friend" until later because she got distracted [6:55 PM] DT: Also eventually at some point, Synnove goes to Kelt's room first when looking for her wayward children to look under the couch. Doesn't even say anything, just knocks, stomps in, kneels to check, then leaves either with a carby or no carby. Occasionally grunts a hello at Kelt if she remembers. [6:56 PM] Chaemera: it's bath time and Ivar leaves claw-trails in the floor as he gets dragged out of the room [6:57 PM] DT: Ivar: <carby equivalent of wails of denial> Synnove: YOU ARE FILTHY. [6:57 PM] Jai: "I have a bathtub you know." [6:58 PM] Chaemera: the house is treated to the Carby version of "MY LINE IS ENDED" [6:59 PM] DT: "Oh, no, I do this outside if I don't want the house to burn." And then she finally manages to get Ivar's claws out of the wood, throws him over her shoulder, and books it, yelling about stopping by with gil for the repairs later. [7:03 PM] DT: And on some days, Tyr's the one to burst in, stick his head under Kelt's couch, and emerge with a scruffed Ivar before toddling out. [7:06 PM] Chaemera: heeheehee [7:09 PM] DT: If they really do give us a slider or text command to change Demi-Bahamut's size, I demand it affect the carbies/egis, too. I WILL HAVE MY ACCURATELY SIZED TYR DAMNIT [9:28 PM] Starlin': Somehow I imagine starling would let Timeaus and Theodore sleep in her bed [9:28 PM] Starlin': Real night lights ™ [9:29 PM] DT: Synnove has a giant ass bed because the carbies all pile in it for bedtime [9:30 PM] Starlin': Yess [9:34 PM] Chaemera: Tyr is best mattress [9:35 PM] Chaemera: Ivar is for those cold Ishgardian nights [9:35 PM] Starlin': Eos probably naps in hair [9:36 PM] Starlin': Too bad starling keeps hers short [9:36 PM] DT: Galette uses bedtime as an excuse to try to break into the pantry, but Synnve has that shit warded. Then she sulks back to bed and curls up on Mommy's face. [9:38 PM] Jai: Heihei sleeps like he's dead [9:38 PM] Jai: flat on his back [9:38 PM] Jai: legs straight up [9:38 PM] Chaemera: I see Galette as the type to wake you up with her nose a centimeter away from your face, and when you're awake, you get CATBREATH [9:38 PM] DT: Yaaaaaaarp [9:38 PM] Chaemera: <MEW> "AAAAAUGH" [9:38 PM] DT: "THIS IS WHY WE DO NOT SKIP TOOTHBRUSHING TIME, GALETTE." [9:39 PM] Chaemera: "Oh god what did you EAT" [9:39 PM] Jai: ice cream [9:42 PM] DT: Galette makes faces as Synnove holds her under one arm and forcibly brushes her teeth in the morning

[arkbot]

1, 9, 12, 18, 31, 32, 34, 52, 86?

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milkthan cereal or more cereal than milk? - More milk than cereal for sure.Tbh I like to finish my cereal and have a glass of milk after. This milk isusually chocolate because my favourite cereals are chocolate

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? -I pretty much always sing in the car when driving on my own. I also sing at mydogs and at @yourantagonist with my own substituted lyrics I’m a huge loserdeal with it

12: what’s your favorite planet? - Mars.It’s named for the god of war, to start. I like that despite being a fair bitsmaller than Earth, it has incredibly large features like Olympus Mons and VallesMarineris. I like that instead of dirt, the surface is covered in iron oxide,literally rust. At its most habitable, it would be like Antarctica withoutoxygen. I’m also fascinated by its proximity, and its chances of being thefirst alien planet man sets foot on.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you didthat has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is alwaysbrought up. - One memorable occasion is the end of exams in my firstsemester of Uni. At the time, I was still finding my limits with alcohol, andwith cause for celebration we partied harder and longer than I had yetexperienced. As a result, by early afternoon I was already in a belligerent state.The residence building in which we were celebrating was triangular, and so fromthe common area extended three long hallways. Each was separated by one ofthose push-bar metal doors. For reasons unknown to all, myself included, I sawfit to joust the door in our hallway. Taking a running start from the other endof the hall, I built a head of steam towards the door.  Being quick and not relenting one bit in myapproach, I hit the latched door with tremendous force. This was the pinnacle ofmy intoxication, and I was made to nap afterwards.  Such was my inebriation that I was stilldrunk when I roused, went to a concert, and returned, some 8 hours after theincident.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you likewearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to whitesock hell? really, just talk about socks. - I’m a huge fan of socks. Tome, walking around barefoot is akin to walking around without a shirt:something I’d do at the pool, in the summer time, but definitely a state ofundress. Socks are comfortable and warm, like a hug for my feet. I don’t sleepwith socks, or a shirt, or pants, that’s silly, unless it’s super cold in whichcase all options are on the table. Most of my socks are gray, but I have a fewpairs of statement socks such as my storm trooper, starscape, and pink pairs.

32: tell us a story of something that happened toyou after 3AM when you were with friends. - I’m not sure of the exacttime but it was certainly late. I was at a smash tournament in Edmonton, andafter everything was done I took my carpool to meet with some Edmonton friendsat McDonald’s. We got there first, and as our friends rolled up behind us, westarted walking to the door. Being a large group, drive thru would be a hassle,so it made sense to at least check if the dining room was open. Turns out itwasn’t. So we walk back and are talking to the other driver, deciding what todo instead (we went to Denny’s) when a man walks up to our group and asks if we’vegot smokes. Being a bunch of nerds, none of us do, and he’s reallydisappointed. He asks us what we’re doing, and we tell him we were gonna getfood, but only the drive thru is open. He starts to explain this elaborate planwhere he’ll get us food if we get him smokes. We’re a little weirded out, likeno man, we’re not gonna go find smokes for you. So we say nah, we can get food ourselves,we just need to use the drive thru. He’s like well, you know what the problemis? You’re walking! At this point we notice that the other driver has rolled uphis windows. We quickly disengage from the conversation and get in our car.While exiting the parking lot, we see he’s still kind of wandering around,looking for someone with smokes. This encounter is well remembered as thesketchy guy at McDonald’s, not to be confused with all the strange encountersthat smashers have had at one particularly sketchy McDonald’s in Calgary.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept asa kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? -I had a lot of stuffed animals as a kid. Like, a LOT. In my teens, we did some renovations through the house, andI had to move out of my room temporarily. My stuffies all went into storage atthat time and I didn’t retrieve them when I went back, so there they sat. Lastyear we were making an effort to clean out storage space, so I was goingthrough the bag of old friends picking a few to keep and the rest to give away.One I picked was a very small shark. I don’t remember him being a big favouritebefore, but he was small and cute and I was happy to put him back in my room.We were happily reunited for a while, until a fateful trip. I went on a family tripto Hawaii, and being so tiny he was an excellent travelling companion, right inmy backpack. He went with me, and returned, safely, but remained in my bag as Iresumed normal life. One night, I accidentally left my vehicle unlocked on thecurb, and when I returned in the morning I had been robbed. Missing were somecheap sunglasses, a Wii U, and my backpack, complete with laptop, textbooks,and my fuzzy sharky friend. It was a sad day.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year sofar? - God, Star Wars prequel memes. They’re everywhere on Reddit, andas someone who appreciates both the prequel trilogy and bad memes, they’ve madea fine addition to my collection.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? -I do! I’m a big nerd for prog rock, and I’m more of an album guy in general(over shuffle or picking singles). I almost always listen to albums in full,and often even sequentially for an artist’s whole discography. Personalfavourites:

The Human Equation by Aryeon, thesaga of a man who falls into a coma and spends 20 days (20 tracks!) wrestlingwith his emotions and working through a lot of buried traumas. Backstabbingfriendships, romantic issues, an asshole father, it’s all in there, with wellcomposed tracks, and a different guest singer for each emotion personified.

Metropolis Part 2: Scenes from aMemory by Dream Theater. In their breakout 1992 album Images and Words, they hada track called Metropolis Part 1: The Miracle and the Sleeper. Fans clamouredfor a follow up, and they went all out with a full sequel album 7 years later.It follows the story of a man who is being hypnotized in order to explore strangerecurring dreams. He discovers that he has been reliving a past life, where hewas a woman who was murdered when a love triangle turned sour. Aside from a twisting,non-linear storyline, this one just has kickass instrumentals that rank with DT’sbest.

Epica & the Black Halo byKamelot. This band is a recent revelation for me, and I’m so glad I found them.This is two albums to tell one story: a rock opera inspired by Goethe’s Faust.I’m only just exploring it now, and still piecing together themes and thedetails of the story itself, but the music is great.

A Thousand Suns by Linkin Park.This comes from a quieter time in Linkin Park’s legacy, and I don’t know manypeople who know about it, but I really liked it. It’s not as hard hitting astheir first couple albums, but I think it shows growth as writers, as it tells thestory of a near future after nuclear apocalypse. Many of the songs can be heardtwo ways, speaking about big political statements, or a second meaning ofpersonal conflict.

Ghost Reveries by Opeth. It took mya while to break into this band, and the was the album that was just accessibleenough for me to do it. That shouldn’t downplay the musicianship here, which isphenomenal, but coming from Dream Theater it was closer to a familiar sound.This one tells the story of a man who commits an unspeakable crime, murderinghis own mother. It follows him fleeing justice, spiralling into despair as heis pursued by both man and his own sins, until he surrenders to the Devil andtakes his own life.