#cursed!billy russo

[promptthebear]

You ask and I deliver ✌️ I’ve wanted to do this prompt for awhile now anyway and Billy is as good an excuse as any I guess 😜

Billy Russo NSFW Alphabet

CW: NO MINORS. It's exactly what it says on the tin, everyone. This is pretty filthy, you've been warned. Also Dom/Sub content included, discussions of kinky topics, some swearing, mentions of abuse and assault. If I missed anything, tell me.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

So, I figure Billy is actually pretty good at aftercare but it’s in part because he gets off on taking a mental inventory of all the things he’s done to you.

He’s also a grown ass man who’s a bit of a sl- had lots of experience so he knows how to take care of his partner. Expect a warm washcloth, a bottle of water, some fruit to keep your stamina up and a shared shower if you need it.

You can also expect a few more sleepy, slow orgasms while he’s cleaning you up. The man can’t help himself, you’re naked, pliant and every bite mark, scratch and spot of cum is a pleasant reminder of the uh…recreational time you’ve just had. He’s gonna tease a few more out of you while he’s got the washcloth between your legs or he’s washing off your breasts. What can I say? He likes spoiling you.

He’s not a big cuddler though, a bad habit left over from years of one night stands. That’ll change once he’s stuck around for awhile though, Billy secretly loves pillow talk and relishes in the fucked out contentment on your face and the slight hoarse edge to your voice after you’ve been screaming.

There’s also just something so intimate and normal about having your naked body pressed to his side, limbs and blankets all tangled up together while sun streams through the curtains. It’s that sense of domesticity and home he never got growing up and once he gets a taste, he’s going to be addicted.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His di-

I’m kidding. We all know Billy the Beaut loves his face. Despite the care he puts into keeping the rest of his body in shape, he could take or leave it.

After all the abuse he’s suffered over the years, Billy’s become pretty detached from his body. It’s just something other people can put to use for their own needs, whether that’s the Marines, his revolving door of lovers or the people who want to hire him for his less than savoury skills. His face however? That’s always been uniquely his, something nobody can take away from him and is also an excellent tool for getting what he wants.

In terms of what he likes on his lover? Ass. So much ass. Any size, any shape, he loves it and he’s gonna have his hands all over it. If you two move in together you won’t be able to walk more than a couple feet in your own home without him giving you a swat across your cheeks. Having company over does NOT make a difference, Billy wants what he wants and he’s gonna take it no matter who’s watching. He has no shame.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Giiiiiiiirrrrllll…

Hope you’re ready for him to make a mess of things.

Nothing is safe. After having so many casual hook ups, he’s gotten really creative about where he’s going to empty his seed. Back, ass, breasts, thighs, the sheets, the headboard, on his own stomach, he’s not a picky guy. However, he’ll probably ask if he’s going to do it somewhere more dicey like your face, mouth, or inside.

In all honesty though? His favourite places are in your mouth or inside you. When you go down on him he is 100% the type to ask you to open your mouth before you swallow. He loves seeing it, it gives him a sense of control and possession like nothing else can.

Coming inside you is also a special treat, only because it feels extra intimate and close. We know Billy gets around, and because of that he’s always been extra careful about having protection, keeping his STD tests up to date and generally not fucking around about safe sex (no pun intended).

When the two of you have been together long enough for that to be an option, Billy knows it means the two of you have moved past the “friends with benefits” stage and into something more serious. He also loves how close cumming inside lets him feel to you, since it’s intimacy without having to do the extra emotional legwork. It’s also another way for him to take possession and control over you. You can bet your ass there are some days he sends you on your merry way with that mess still between your legs, no underwear and the shortest skirt your job allows.

If you work for him? Good luck getting anything done that day. He’s gonna be dragging you into his office every five minutes to have a peek at his handiwork. Prepare to rack up some overtime.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Billy is an open book. There is very little this man is ashamed of sharing with you when it comes to sex and his kinks.

But, everyone has secrets. And in this case, for Billy, you’re looking more at something softer and emotional. What he really wants, deep down, is the kind of life he stole from Frank. The house with the yard, the wife, the 2.5 kids and a yellow lab named Buddy. However, there’s the fantasy and there’s what’s possible.

As much as he wants that life, Billy also knows he’s not the right kind of man for it. He had a glimpse of how things could be when Maria and the kids were still alive, and we all know how that turned out. He’s been dreaming of a home since he was a kid, but with the way he grew up, the lifestyle he keeps and the hate that’s in his heart? Nope. It’s fast cars, fast women and money to burn until someone puts a bullet between his eyes. No picket fences here.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Does a bear shit in the woods???? God, Billy’s been skirt chasing and fooling around since he hit high school. He’s fucked six ways to Sunday and back again, and can probably teach his more experienced partners a few tricks. This man talks the talk but he has the skills to back it up in spades.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Honestly I can see Billy loving a good old fashioned doggy style same as any red blooded American ass guy. If he can grab the hips and booty and make you scream face down into the pillow while he ruts on you like a goddamn animal? Well, he’s a happy man.

However, for all the crazy shit he’s done and the wild stories he’s got, there’s something about missionary that he also loves. Once again, it comes down to the intimacy of that kind of position. Plus, he can see and has access to everything. Every little change in expression, every little sound you make, he’s filing away for later.

He’s also the type to make you look him in the eye while you cum. Odds are he’s gonna grab hold of your jaw and turn your face towards his when he feels you starting to clench. Unless you're super uncomfortable with the idea, this is non negotiable. Billy wants to see the results of his work.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Generally I can see Billy taking sex pretty seriously. He loves to tease you but it’s very rare that he’s going to be out and out silly. Think less clown and more mouthy shithead.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Honestly, Billy keeps his pubic hair just like the hair anywhere else on his body. Immaculately groomed and styled to his liking. He's a big fan of "manscaping" and while he personally likes having a neatly trimmed patch down there, he'll go bare if you ask. It's brown just like the hair on his head, curly, and surprisingly pleasant to the touch.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

If you're only casual with Billy, romance just isn't a thing. The man is no stranger to well...strangers in his bed, and when you're just trying to get off there isn't much use for rose petals or mood lighting. Don't expect too much effort besides clean sheets and him taking a shower beforehand. You're both grown adults, you know why you're here, and wrapping it up in a fancy package won't change that.

If you've been with him for awhile though? Well, first and foremost, after Billy's gone through the existential crisis of having you in his life long term, you can expect a lot of romance coming your way. Fancy candles? Yep. Silk sheets? Got 'em. Carefully curated playlist on Spotify? You bet. Hell, if you want rose petals, Billy will get them. He loves spoiling you, and showing off just how much cash he can afford to throw your way.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

So, this might be kind of weird, but I can see Billy not really being the type to masturbate? And that's only because he's never really had to work at finding willing partners. If found himself getting antsy and pent up, a quick trip to any well frequented local club solves that problem.

After meeting you? Well, you're here to take care of him, so what's the point?

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Domination/Submission: Can we say Daddy Dom????? Honestly he likes to be called some variation of Daddy or Sir or even Mr. Russo and he is THE OG brat tamer. Mouth off or pout in front of this man, I dare you. You won't be able to walk right for at least a week after.

Spanking: This sort of falls into the previous kink, but I also feels like it deserves it's own category. As established in B, Billy is an ass guy. Which means he's also a spanking kind of guy, as long as you're into that. Nine times out of ten, if you're giving him shit he's going to punish you by throwing you over his knee and turning those pretty cheeks of yours bright red. You wanna cry about it? Should've thought about that before you acted out.

Humiliation: This mostly comes out in like a name calling sort of way. Billy has a filthy mouth and Lord does he know how to use it. He loves calling you every name in the book, and telling you exactly how he plans to use every hole you've got. The way he coos "slut" and "needy bitch" at you is downright sinful, and almost enough to make you cum on the spot. He also loooooooves having you on your knees, but will provide you with a special pillow to use each time. He has to take care of his baby, after all.

Rope play: We all know Billy loves control above all else, and tying you up to be used for every dirty fantasy he has ticks all the right boxes. He's got a healthy collection of handcuffs, silk ropes and fancy bondage tape he makes ample use of. Don't be surprised if he leaves you tied to the bed while he goes to work either. Just the thought of you waiting there, naked, vulnerable and ready has him rushing to take an early lunch on more than one occasion.

Orgasm denial: Oooh is this man ever a tease. Again, it comes back to control. Billy loves nothing more than to push you to the brink, only to pull away at the last second and have you begging for him to finish what he started. You can curse him until you're blue in the face for it, but you're not cumming until he says so, and as he's so fond of telling you, good girls always say please.

Spoiling/Sugar Daddy: Is there another phrase for this??? Idk but the basic idea is that Billy love, love loooovves to let you run wild with his credit card. Nothing is too good for his babygirl, whether it's designer clothes, front row theatre tickets or this year's newest and hottest sports car. Ask nicely enough and it's yours. Bonus points if you grew up like him or in any household where money was scarce. That makes spoiling you extra delicious, and don't be surprised if he just appears with spontaneous piles of presents or a spur of the moment weekend get away to some exotic destination.

Overstimulation: On the other side of the coin from orgasm denial, Billy will also having you cumming until you don't know your own name or even the year. He'll push your body to the limits, even when you've got tears in your eyes and you're shaking from the toll it's taking. Him whispering "Just one more for me, just one more" in your ear could have you going for weeks.

Knife Play: We all knew this was coming...but not the way you think. Billy isn't the type to cut your skin (I'll elaborate on this more in N) but your clothes on the other hand? Thank goodness he's got enough cash to keep your wardrobe full or you'd be in trouble. It doesn't matter how much that new lingerie set was, if he's in the mood he's cutting it off.

Marking: Again, there's going to be some more about this in N, but when it comes to hickies, bite marks and cum? You're his, and Billy wants the world to know. He's about to mark up every inch of your pretty flesh, and it wouldn't be uncommon for you to find bite marks on your ass sometimes. Also, buy some high necked shirts. You're gonna need them.

Choking: ....we all know it's true. No, I will not elaborate.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Okay, so your bedroom is kind of a given. Billy shelled out for a king size bed and expensive linens and the two of you are going to make the most of it. He also loves the time it allows him to take with you, he isn't the type to turn down a quickie but the man is an artist when it comes to sex and you're his canvas. A true masterpiece requires effort and lots of attention.

Outside of that, he's not too picky. Alleyway behind the club? Sure. Back of the limo? Why not? Mile high club? If that's what you want. His absolute favourite "outside the box" location though is his office at Anvil. You've been bent over that desk more times than you can count, and you know there's going to be many similar scenarios playing out in the future. Thank God that door locks and he's the only one on the floor.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Oh, with Billy you know it doesn't take much. He is DTF at the drop of a hat, and more often than not he's trying to initiate things.

However, if we want to get specific, he loves when you're doing domestic things like cleaning, cooking dinner or washing the dishes. This man 100% has a housewife kink, and he loves coming home to find you waiting for him dressed in the clothes he bought you, in the penthouse he paid for.

He also loves when you're very caring or maternal with him. The man doesn't have a Mommy kink per say, there's too much trauma for that and he's too much of a control freak to be submissive, but he's also been so starved for attention his whole life anything you give him is going to get him going.

Lingerie is also a big thing with him. Your walk in closet is absolutely stuffed with La Perla, Cosabella and Sarrieri, and odds are he's probably had a couple of custom pieces made just for you too.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I touched on this a little in K, but while Billy lives to mark you up, he doesn't want to make you bleed or do anything that's going to cause permanent damage. There's just been too much pain in his life for that, and you're his favourite toy. He doesn't want to break you.

Sharing is also out. Billy is too controlling and selfish for that, and is surprisingly jealous under the confident swagger. All that is really just a facade to cover up his insecurities, and anything that touches on those is going to set him off big time.

Consensual non-consent is another thing I can see Billy not being too big on. You being turned on and into it is a big requirement for him, and even just pretending to be scared or turned off is going to kill the mood really quickly. He was also overseas and has seen the real life consequences of that shit in warzones far too often for him to think about it as anything more than an outright crime. Billy might be a manipulative, toxic, murdering bastard but there are some lines even he won't cross.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Lol sorry, I couldn't resist.

Honestly, Billy is happy to give as good as he gets. He loves to have you on your knees, his cock in your pretty mouth and those doe eyes staring up at him, but will also eat you out like a man starved. He is very good at it and wants to show off. He lives for that starstruck look in your eyes afterwards, knowing he's just ruined you for anyone else in the future.

P =Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

When you start fucking Billy, fast and rough is all you're going to get. He wants to keep emotion out of the equation for awhile, which means keeping things quick and dirty suits him fine.

It's only after the two of you have an established relationship and he knows you're going to stick around for awhile that Billy is willing to slow things down. After that point, he'll switch back and forth depending on his mood and what you like best.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As I sort of touched on above, a new relationship with Billy is going to mean a lot of quickies. He's not planning to keep you at first, so why bother putting in the effort for a good, long fuck session when he can get the job done for both of you in half the time?

When you become a long term part of his life, the amount of time you spend having sex increases significantly. It's not that Billy would turn down a quickie at this point, but he does his best work when he's given a few hours, or all night if you can take it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Billy's down to try anything with you, at least once. Risk taking is part of his nature, and that applies to the bedroom. As long as it doesn't violate anything listed under N, it's an option.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

....the man can literally go for hours and hours, between his Marine training and his own physical regimen, he's got energy to spare. You almost always wear out before he does, and he takes a lot of pride in that.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Billy probably has lots of BDSM equipment lying around, I mentioned ropes and that kind of thing under K, but I can't really see him being the type to have dildos or vibrators on hand. If you have those things, however, and want to bring them out one night? Well, he's not going to complain. Especially if one of those vibrators is remote controlled.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This man. Is. RELENTLESS. God, you better have some patience because he is going to try every trick he can to fluster you and turn you into a blushing, squirming mess before he walks off like he hasn't done a blessed thing wrong. If you try to turn the tables though? You're brave, and probably more than a little stupid. Billy will make you pay for that, big time.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Billy makes about an average amount of noise? He grunts and moans a fair bit, but he's not exactly what you call loud. The most sound you get is when he cums, but you wouldn't hear it if you were in the next room over.

You, on the other hand? If you're loud, Billy's going to find ways to make you louder. If you're on the quieter side, it is now his personal mission to make you louder. Good luck.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

In my personal opinion, Billy is bisexual. I mean, just look at him and Frank. However, given the rampant homophobia in the army and toxic masculinity in general, it's not really a part of himself he's open about or that he's ready to talk about yet. Maybe someday.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's not packing as much heat as he brags about Frank's got him beat sorry but you're working with a solid six inches and man does he know how to use it. Girth wise he's about average, and he's also circumcised. The slit on his head is actually really sensitive, so have fun with that.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Sky fucking high. You'd need NASA numbers to calculate exactly how much. However, he has wicked self control and if he's riled, sometimes you don't know until he's shoved you up against the wall and shoving his hard on against your thigh.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

So, Billy isn't what I'd really call a "good" sleeper. Like, if he needs to sleep the military's taught him tricks to do that in seconds, but if he's not on tour? Well, trauma nightmares and general paranoia tend to give him lots of sleepless nights.

Usually, after sex he'll sit and stroke your back or talk softly to you until you fall asleep. Then, he'll throw on a pair of sweatpants and use this time as an opportunity to either get some work for Anvil done, sneak out if he's got an assignment or get some workout time in. It's pretty normal for you to wake up to either a coffee and pastry sitting on the nightstand or Billy banging around in the kitchen, making breakfast.

It's only after you've been around for a while that Billy will stay in bed and sleep through the night. Your closeness, warmth, and the soothing sounds of your breathing knock him right out. He also gets fewer nightmares with you around, and if they do wake him, all he has to do is reach for you and he instantly feels safe enough to fall back asleep again.

[fluffyprettykitty]

My sweet selene, my darling, I have missed your writing so very much. So here I am asking that you bring this conversation we once had to life.

How do we feel about book store date with Billy, followed by cockwarming, and he make her read one of the books to him. And she can't come until she finishes a chapter. The extent of the smut and other kinks is your choice, I trust you with my heart.

Besitos

Pairing: Billy Russo x female reader (no other specifications!)

Word Count: ~500 words

Warnings: cockwarming, teasing

Author’s Note: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii lia ilysm, we can still pretend it's spring and i did these on time hello! i'll write the rest too i promise <3

PS: dividers & banners by @/saradika

Main Masterlist ・❥・Billy Russo Masterlist

Billy was always the determined type so when he picked you up from work and took you to the bookstore to pick whatever you wanted you knew that a simple gift wasn't enough for him.

You browsed through the sections and ended up lingering on the classics sections. He instructed you to pick five books and so you did. You placed them in his hands and waited outside by the car for him. Once out he took you to a restaurant for some late lunch/early dinner and then you were off to his place.

He lived in a luxury apartment in upstate New York and one of your favourite things to do was just to stare outside at the big city skylines. He seemed to be doing some work while you were sitting on the couch freshly showered wearing one of his t-shirts and reading one of the books you picked.

He came by with a smirk on his face as he watched you. The tall man observed you for a bit before he came closer and instructed you on his lap cuddling you, soon enough the cuddling turned to more, Billy not really keeping his hands to himself.

Next thing you know he has you rubbing yourself against his clothed hard-on while he's listening to your reading aloud. He fumbles with his belt and pants until he frees his cock and pushes your panties to the side sliding it right in. The sun had long been set as he looked up at you with a smile.

"Read for me..." He whispered, his lips digging into your neck, struggling to hold on to your book.

"Billy...." You breathed out feeling him occupying your walls so deliciously, you hadn't seen him for three days and you were getting needy yourself.

"Read." He said again before biting your neck. You groaned as you placed the book against the back of the couch and continued reading aloud.

He continued kissing and teasing your neck, loving and feeling the vibrations of your voice chords as he wrapped his hands tightly on your waist not allowing you to go anywhere.

You came to a halt as the pleasure was getting a little too much for you but he only tilted his head to scold you.

"Don't stop until you finish your chapter."

"There are no chapters in this book!" You protested cursing the days you chose this particular book.

"Sucks for you." He chuckled and kissed you again on your neck possesively. "I wanna know how this plays out." You groaned louder as you continued reading aloud.

You were in for a long night.

A very long night.

If you want to be notified about my future stories please follow my library blog @fluffyprettykittylibrary and turn on notifications!

[lupinsversion]

𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐨 - 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧

• summary: when billy finds himself getting a call about his drunk girlfriend on halloween night.

• contains: billy russo x fem reader, partying, drunken reader, halloween

• word count: 820

masterlist || requests

Billy received the call from his girlfriend’s friends late at night. They informed him that she was at a Halloween party at a club and was a bit too drunk to handle herself, and thus she needed a ride home. With concern and also a hint of amusement at the situation, he quickly got ready and made his way to the club. He found her friends outside, waiting for him.

He approached the group, his eyes scanning the area for a moment before catching sight of her. His heart skipped a beat as he saw her, dressed as a pirate, swaying slightly on her feet. He couldn't help but chuckle softly, amused by the sight of her, but also concerned for her well-being.

His lips curved into a small, fond smile as he noticed the details of the costume she was wearing. It suited her strangely well, the costume looking quite cute on her. He walked over to her friends, acknowledging them with a nod before addressing the situation at hand.

“Thanks for calling me.” He said, his voice a mix of gratitude and concern. “How drunk is she, exactly? Will she be able to walk or will I need to carry her?” He asked, his tone displaying his willingness to care for her despite her drunken state.

That’s when she noticed him and she stomped. “Aw, you guy’s called the fun police?” She whined.

His gaze immediately locked onto hers, his expression shifting from one of concern to slight annoyance mixed with amusement. He couldn't help but chuckle softly under his breath at her comment. Even in her drunken state, her words held a familiar tone, filled with a hint of attitude that he recognized all too well.

He walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in close. He felt her body sway against him as he tried to steady her and keep her upright. "Looks like I have my work cut out for me, huh?" He said, his voice laced with a mix of amusement and resignation.

“I don’t wanna go home.” She whined some more, almost like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

He sighed playfully, rolling his eyes slightly. Her childlike behavior, a result of the alcohol, was actually quite entertaining. He couldn't help but find it adorable, but he knew he had to be the responsible one in this situation. "Well, maybe you should have stopped after drink number three, babe.” He teased gently, his voice carrying a mix of affection and slight annoyance.

“For your information I can hold my liquor quite well.” She protested as she placed her chin on his chest stubbornly.

He chuckled, shaking his head at her stubbornness. Her chin on his chest, her eyes looking up at him with that stubborn expression, it was almost too cute to ignore. "Is that so? Because it sure doesn't seem like it right now.” He countered playfully, his voice mingling with a hint of amusement.

She grumbled curses and protests stubbornly, incoherently in her slurs.

He couldn't help but shake his head with playful annoyance, as he listened to her drunken mumbles and protests. Her stubbornness, even in this state, was characteristic of her. He couldn't help but smile at how cute it was, even as she mumbled incoherent curses.

He tightened his hold on her waist, pulling her closer. Her unsteady balance and her stubbornness reminded him why he adored her. He rolled his eyes affectionately, looking down at her. "Come on, captain. You need to get home and sleep this off.” He spoke, his voice gentle but firm.

“I don’t wanna.” Her whining started back up again as she stomped. “M’ having too much fun.”

He sighed once again, but the amusement in his eyes remained. Her stubbornness, her stomps, her whining... it all made her seem so adorable, even though it was annoying. He couldn't help but find it cute, even in the midst of her drunken state.

He gently turned her around, facing towards the car. He put his hands on her shoulder, a little firmer than she would be used to, just to assert some authority. "Alright, babe. Time to go."

He guided her towards his car, his hand still firmly on her shoulder, ensuring she didn't have the chance to waver or bolt in the opposite direction. Her drunken stubbornness was almost endearing, but at the same time, rather frustrating.

He opened the car door and helped her into her seat, strapping her seatbelt into place before closing the door once she was secured inside. With a sigh, he walked to his side and got into his own seat. He turned the engine on, the car purring to life as he glanced at her, who was pouting like a small child in her seat.

She rolled down her window as he started to drive off, yelling to her friends. “Y’all suck. Suckkkk.”

© lupinsversion 2024

[chvoswxtch]

An expresso from Billy Russo based on song lyric "Lately, I've been dressing for revenge." Over ice if the barista doesn't mind.

this is actually the a great song for this slutty little fashionista

I definitely went over 100 words but i'm sure you don't mind <3

as a reminder, over ice means it's spicy! (minors dni)

drabble below the cut

order for billy with an extra shot of vigilante shit (over ice)

lately i’ve been dressing for revenge

The gunshot echoed in the silence of your apartment. Billy just barely flinched, taking half a step backwards, his sharp features twisting in an expression of annoyance instead of agony. A crease of confusion nestled between your brows. Billy glanced down at the hole right over his heart where the bullet had ripped through his crisp white dress shirt. His darkened eyes met yours, and he arched one of his dark brows with a look of disapproval.

“This is Armani.”

“And it should be covered in blood.”

Letting out a dark chuckle, Billy’s lips split into a wicked grin. 

“Figured you’d still be pissed. So-”

Billy made a show of slowly loosening his tie, slipping the black silk fabric from his neck and holding it in his hand while teasingly unbuttoning the first few buttons on his shirt, exposing the kevlar underneath.

“-lately I’ve been dressin’ for revenge.”

Narrowing your gaze, you pursed your lips while glaring at Billy, the gun still tightly gripped in your hand as you tilted your head to the side.

“And you still came, knowing I was gonna shoot you.”

Billy slipped his hands into the pockets of his perfectly tailored pants, an arrogant smirk on his lips and a hint of mischief in his dark brown eyes.

“I know how much you love foreplay. You wanna keep goin’? Or you gonna let me earn my forgiveness?”

In the midst of your stubborn silence, Billy decided to press his luck. He took his time walking towards you, slowly lowering himself down onto his knees, maintaining eye contact as his hands disappeared under your dress to slip your panties down your thighs. Caressing the back of your calf, he brought one of your legs over his shoulder to open you up for him, leaning in to glide his wet tongue along your wet cunt. Clenching your jaw and muttering a curse under your breath, you tossed the gun onto the coffee table and slipped your hands into his raven strands, tugging him closer roughly.

“I’m still pissed at you.”

Billy grinned at the breathiness of your halfhearted defiance, tracing your clit tantalizingly slow with his tongue.

“Fine by me, baby. I can do this all night.”

[e-dubbc11]

for the november rain thingy I would love to request the faaabulous song by 3 doors down 'landing in london' and my fave boy billy <3

My sweet Selene, while I was listening to this song, I felt compelled to write this fic from Billy’s POV. I hope that’s ok!

Thank you my friend for sending in your asks and for being so supportive, for reading and sharing my fics and for being a great friend. ♥️

Always A Yes

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, couple of swear words, smooches

Word Count: 1.6K-ish

Summary: Told from Billy’s POV. He realizes there’s more to life than just work and doesn’t want to lose you but is he too late?

A/N: As stated above, this is based off of the song Landing in London by 3 Doors Down. I’ll link it at the end.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

She was the first one…and only one.

The first one who understood you, who showed you any genuine affection, the one you finally let see who you really are. And she was so…accepting.

It was an instant attraction when she walked into that bookstore, shaking the plump raindrops off of her umbrella, and revealing her beautiful eyes to you from beneath the hood of her raincoat.

She was almost disappointed that she had finally reached her destination. It meant she couldn’t walk in the rain anymore which was so pure in your eyes, like a child not wanting to get out of the pool because they were having too much fun.

But you wouldn’t know anything about that. The closest you ever came to a pool as a kid was the city flushing the fire hydrants on a hot summer day but that’s what you imagined she felt like after enjoying that walk in the rain.

She caught you staring, playfully scolded you for not wearing rain boots, and the rest is history.

She never judged you for the bad things you had done. It was the first time you had told anyone other than Frankie about her or him, the first time you let anyone in, the first time you…bared your soul.

It all made sense to her now…why you always had to be in control.

Slowly, she moved her hand from her lap and held it in the air before asking you, “May I touch you, Billy? I’ll understand if you say ‘no.’”

“It’s always a ‘yes’ with you, sweet girl.” You had told her.

Her fingertips touched the side of your head, her nails tenderly scratched your scalp, and brushed the back of your neck. Those touches were what you had craved ever since you were a kid, they were loving but not in a patronizing way or in a way where she pitied you. She touched you like you deserved it and she told you so.

“You deserve to be loved, Billy.” She had said with a warm smile.

The path you had been on before she came into your life just led to pain. You had gone through life fighting so many inner demons, thinking that you didn’t deserve love, that it was just a curse, and all the pain you’ve received was warranted.

She thought differently.

That’s why you hated to be away from her but you did have a business to run which took you all over the country and even all over the world.

You always felt terrible after lashing out at her. She didn’t deserve that. All she wanted was…you. And she understood you had a job to do, it just took you away from her more often than either one of you wanted it to.

You always promised to make it up to her with whatever she wanted but again, all she wanted was you. And during those longer business trips, the thought of her waiting for you back home was the only thing that brought a smile to your face.

Frankie always called you out on your bullshit.

“You found her, Bill. Don’t fuck it up.” He scolded.

She was never afraid to push back either which was another reason you loved her so much.

“Keep pushing me away, Billy and there'll be a day where you come home and I won’t be here!” She yelled.

That’s the last thing you wanted so you couldn’t lose her. You loved her and wanted her, forever.

Normally, you were calm and in control but on the flight home from London you were nervous and extremely anxious. Your thoughts were scattered like dandelion seeds after a gust of wind. Was she still upset after this last minute trip? She said she wasn’t but she didn’t answer your text this morning which you hated and she knew you hated it when she didn’t answer. She did it to push your buttons when you were being an asshole.

She normally met you at the airport, always so happy to see you, but after you picked up your bag, you looked around and didn’t see her smiling face.

“You have a good trip, handsome?” She always asked.

It never failed. She always asked about your day, your trip, if the coffee house was busy, and always noticed when you bought a new tie. She loved you, flaws and all. She loved you.

“Shit.” You said out loud, frantically looking around for her.

Glancing at your phone, you noticed she hadn’t even read your message from this morning and it scared you to think that this could have been what pushed her away for good.

Hustling outside with your bags, you figured you’d catch an Uber and head for home. Maybe she was waiting for you there.

When you looked up from your phone, there she was, with her beautiful smile and holding a sign at her waist that read, “Mr. Russo.”

Dropping your bags at your feet, you rushed over to her and squeezed her until you heard her gasp for air.

“You’re here.” You said, trying to catch your breath.

She smiled against your chest.

“Of course I’m here, baby. How was your trip, handsome?” She asked, kissing you on the cheek.

“I don’t wanna talk about that right now. I need to tell you something.” You said.

Confused, she replied, “Oh…ok. What is it, Billy? Are you alright?”

“I won’t be if I lose you. I can’t lose you, y/n!” You said.

She saw the look in your eyes. It took you back to when you were that scared little boy, standing all alone on the steps of that fire station, wondering if she was ever coming back. And flashing forward a handful of years later in the group home, realizing that she wasn’t coming back. You never wanted to feel that way again and you finally found someone who always wanted you, good times and bad.

She grazed your beard with her thumbs as she looked into your frightened eyes and said, “Hey…hey…hey…you’re not gonna lose me, Billy. I love you.”

Reaching into your jacket pocket, you said, “I’ve been carrying this around for weeks, going over in my mind of what I wanted to say but all I could come up with is that I wanna marry you.”

Periodically, during your travels, you would reach into your pocket to make sure the black velvet box was still there. The soft fabric was comforting and after a long day of meetings or staring at a computer screen, you’d open the box, stare at the beautiful diamond ring inside and pictured her saying yes.

It scared you to even think about her saying no.

You were doing something you never thought you would do. You were making yourself vulnerable, opening up, letting someone in…in every way possible.

On one knee, not caring about if your suit pants would be ruined or not, you slowly pulled back the top to the box revealing the sparkling oval shaped diamond inside.

Although shocked, she still kept her composure and firmly said, “Then ask me, Billy.”

She smiled as tears welled up in her eyes, you knew her answer already but you did as she asked anyway. She deserved that.

“Will you marry me, sweet girl?” You asked, holding the ring in front of you and in front of a crowd of people that had gathered outside.

She kneeled down in front of you, snaked her arms around your neck, and replied, “Yes baby, I will marry you. It’s always a ‘yes’ with you, Billy.”

The people all around you clapped, whistled, and cheered as you slipped the ring onto her finger and pulled her flush to your chest. You had missed the gentle scratches on the back of your neck, her nails raking against your scalp, and when she hummed against your chest after being away from her, even if it was just for a short period of time.

Smiling against her hair, a familiar scent invaded your sense of smell. It wasn’t her normal perfume, it was your cologne which made your stomach flutter just like the first time you saw her as she came in from the rain.

“You wearing my cologne, beautiful?” You asked.

She pulled away from your chest with a sly smile on her face and replied, “It makes me feel close to you when you’re away. Is that…ok?”

She looked up at you through her long, dark lashes and bit down on her bottom lip.

Closing the gap between your bodies, you leaned in and gently pressed your lips to hers. Her lip balm tasted sweet like salted caramel, she knew that was your favorite one, and you felt her melt into your kiss.

“Always.” You said, pulling away slightly to place a soft kiss on her forehead. “I love you too.”

You don’t know how long you stayed there, on your knees in crisp early winter air. You held her in your embrace until you couldn’t feel your fingers or your toes anymore, you held her until she stopped shivering, and until everyone around you dispersed.

Old habits are hard to break. But from that moment on, you silently made a promise to her that you would try your hardest to never push her away, listen to her, and vehemently love her until you take your last breath.

Because she was the first, she was the first and only one to give you a real chance, and she was the only one to say yes…to always.

And when the night falls in around me

And I don't think I'll make it through

I'll use your light to guide the way

'Cause all I think about is you

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[amhrosina]

Your Pretty Heart (Billy Russo x f!Reader)

A/N: Anyone else widely obsessed with Pedro Pascal and The Last of Us right now? Being back in my Pedro era feels like getting home after a long ass trip. Should I write for some of Pedro's characters?? SOS! Also, I hit 800 followers today??? Like what??? Thank you to everyone who supports me and this account!!

Request: ex’s to lovers with Billy Russo or Matt Murdock. Where Frank and Karen “help” Billy/Matt get their ass together to get back with Reader. Because come on their clearly still in lovee. 

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: When you and Billy break up, Karen takes it upon herself to get you back together. Her plan comes to a head one night at Josie’s, and you and Billy must face the consequences of loving and leaving one another. 

(Warnings: so much angst, cursing, Billy is a soft!boy at heart, soft!Billy, descriptions of smut (but like romantic descriptions, not graphic ones??), I think that’s it, it’s literally just really sad until the end lol) 

“You look great.” Your date smiled, but he wasn’t looking at your face. Instead, for the third time in less than a minute, his eyes trailed the sloping curve of your cleavage as it disappeared into your dress. You shrugged his gaze off, hoping there was at least something interesting about him to keep you entertained for the evening. Something could be there. Deep, deep, down, but there, nonetheless.  

“So, Brad, what do you do for work? When Karen set this up, she didn’t tell me much about you.” 

“I’m an accountant.”  

Brad nodded his head along with yours, an awkward bob as you waited for him to return the question. He didn’t, instead choosing to fix his gaze on the jazz singer across the restaurant. Zero for two, Brad. 

“Do you, uh, have any hobbies?” You tried again to break the conversation dam, but Brad’s attention was so far away from the table you were sharing that he barely glanced at you when he responded. 

“I jog sometimes.” 

“Oh!” You lurched forward, desperate to grab onto anything that might make this date less awkward. “I like to jog, too. I’ll listen to books when I do it to pass the time. Do you read at all?” 

Brad’s eyes flicked to yours, then back to the jazz singer. Uninterested, bored, and inconvenienced. That’s what his glance told you. 

“People who need books or music when they run aren’t capable of self-reflection. It’s how you grow as a human being, you know? You should try it.”  

You blinked. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? A pompous, arrogant, prick seemed like the winning description, and you chuckled as you looped your purse handle over your shoulder. 

“Well, Brad.” You stood from your seat, drawing his attention away from the band. “Congratulations. You win. I think this is quite possibly the worst date I’ve ever been on, and that’s saying a lot.” 

You didn’t deem him with an explanation as you exited the restaurant, but a vivid memory flashed in your mind of Billy standing you up on your anniversary last year. Yeah, that date was terrible, but at least Billy hadn’t insulted you after standing you up. He’d spent weeks apologizing with flowers, jewelry, and even cutting down on his time at Anvil so he could spend more time with you, but that date would always stick out in your mind as the beginning of the end.  

You shook the thoughts from your head, digging through your purse to find your cellphone. Karen was going to explain where the fuck she met this guy, and why she thought setting him up with you would be a good idea. She picked up on the second ring. 

“Karen.” You tapped your foot on the sidewalk. “What the fuck?” 

“Hey! How was the date?”  

Wherever Karen was, it was loud. You could barely understand her through the speaker, muffled by music and what sounded like a crowd of people in the background.  

“The date was so bad.” You almost whined. Almost stomped your foot at how unfair the dating world had become. Almost thought about how much easier it was when you were with Billy. “Where did you even meet this guy?” 

“At work. Was he an asshole?” She sounded apologetic, but the volume at which she had to scream her question into the phone made the entire interaction feel a little less impactful.  

“Grade-A Asshole.” You groaned. “Where are you?” 

“I’m at Josie’s, but-” 

“Great. I’m on my way.”  

You hung up the phone before she could respond and hailed a taxi. You felt a little guilty for barging in on her evening. Karen was a good friend, one that you’d clung to since you and Billy had gone your separate ways, and she deserved a night out without your moping. But the nagging feeling rolling around in the pit of your stomach told you exactly the reason you had to go to Josie’s. If you didn’t go hang out with Karen, you’d end up calling Billy, and the last thing you wanted to do was let him see you after a shitty date. You climbed into the taxi and hoped you could drink away the memories of tonight with Karen once you arrived at Josie’s.  

- 

Billy took a hefty sip of his beer as he eavesdropped on Karen’s phone conversation. Technically, it wasn’t eavesdropping if Karen had whacked him on the arm the second her phone started ringing, but it made Billy uncomfortable anyways. What they’d planned felt too much like a trick, and he didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. 

“She’s on her way.” Karen grinned, raising her beer in the air to clink bottles with him.  

Billy fiddled with the bottle in his hand, unsure if there was anything to be ‘cheersing’ to. 

“C’mon, Bill,” Frank grunted, meeting Karen’s still outstretched arm, “It worked. She’s on her way. Now, all you have to do is be a lesser asshole than her date.” 

“Don’t you think she’ll be furious when she finds out her entire evening was construed by her ex-boyfriend and best friends? She doesn’t even want to see me.” 

“Trust me, Billy,” Karen angled her head for emphasis, “She does. She just won’t admit it.” 

“How do you know, though?”  

“I see it on her face, and hear it in her voice, and she’s still sleeping on my couch. And you know what that tells me?”  

Billy rolled his eyes. “What does that tell you, Karen?” 

Karen’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “That she’s not looking for another apartment. That she still has hope that she’ll be able to go home, to your apartment.” 

Billy shook his head. “The market is insane. Maybe she just can’t find an affordable one.” 

“I saw three listed in the paper this morning. She’s not looking, Billy. She misses you.” 

Billy groaned, dragging his hands over his face. This entire situation was completely and totally fucked, and it was completely and totally his fault. He’d always been warned that his ambition would get the best of him. You’d slipped through his fingers so quickly that he got whiplash when he thought about the end of the relationship. It was like you were there one day and gone the next, and he had no idea how he ended up alone, stranded in his kitchen in the middle of the night because the idea of going to bed without you hurt too much.  

“What if it’s too late? What if I can’t fix it?” 

“All you can do is try, Bill.” Frank shrugged. 

“She loves you.” Karen spoke firmly, tapping her finger on the table, “And you love her. But she needs to know that. You have to show her that you love her.” 

“How? I thought I was doing that before.” Billy let out a disgruntled breath and cleared his throat.  

“Your priorities need to change. She deserves better than last-minute cancellations and rescheduled dates. You’re your own boss, Billy. You make the rules, and no matter how much money you spend on her, or how many gifts you buy her, she’s always going to remember the times that you didn’t show up.” 

Billy nodded. Karen was right, as usual. There’d been a significant change in the amount of time Billy was spending at Anvil, sometimes returning home early in the morning, only to change suits and leave again. It wasn’t your fault – it never was – but Billy couldn’t help himself from falling back into his old patterns. When shit got too real, he retreated, and it ended up costing him the most important thing in his life.  

Tonight was his chance to fix everything – to bring you home, to remind you that he adored you, to show you that his life was falling apart without you in it. All he had to do was get you to listen, and he was sure everything else would fall into place. 

- 

You took three steps into the bar before swiveling around and marching out in a dramatic fashion. Cursing Karen for conveniently forgetting to mention that Billy was with her, you tried not to stomp down the sidewalk that led to Karen’s apartment. If you had an apartment of your own, you’d surely be stomping your way there instead.  

You didn’t make it far before you heard your name being called behind you. Two distinct voices trailed you, but you were more focused on the lack of the third. Had he stayed behind at the bar? You swung around, almost slamming into Frank’s chest. Karen was a few steps behind him, and behind her, stood beautiful and broken Billy, hands in his pants pockets.  

“What?” You screeched, eyes flickering between the group. 

“I just wanted to tell you thaaaat,” Karen’s eyes twinkled, and you should’ve known that she was about to make your night go from bad to worse, “I’m going back to my apartment with my boyfriend, who is going to do very loud things to me for hours. If I were you, I’d steer clear of the whole block tonight.” 

You rolled your eyes and looked at Frank, whose innocent expression gave away Karen’s plan faster than you could piece it together. Clearly, this coup had been planned, and they were leaving you with no option but to spend time with Billy. 

“Is that so?” You narrowed your eyes at her, hoping she could read every nasty thought you’d ever had about her in your gaze.  

“Yep!” She hooked an arm through Frank’s and tugged him down the sidewalk. “See you tomorrow!” 

You watched them until they turned a corner, and you could no longer see them. When you turned to face Billy again, he had inched closer to you, standing a heady meter away with his hands still in his pockets. 

“Did you plan this?”  

The anger in your voice echoed across the concrete, slamming into Billy. He grasped his chest as if you’d shot him in the heart.  

“No. I didn’t even know there was a plan until I showed up at Josie’s earlier.” 

You hesitated to believe him, but something in the way he was looking at you told you to trust him. You looked him up and down, focusing on the way he looked worse than you’d ever seen him. For a brief second, you felt triumph over it. He deserved this after everything he did to you. He deserved to feel like shit. The triumph faded faster than it came, and an overwhelming sadness replaced the ire thoughts you were having about him.  

There were bags under his eyes, and you could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well. He never did when he couldn’t sleep with you. The facial hair that he usually kept so neat and maintained had grown beyond his usual boundaries, and the fact that he kept subconsciously scratching at it told you he didn’t like it. You tried not to let it get to you. You probably looked like shit, too.  

“How’ve you been?” His focus remained wholly on you. You rubbed the back of your neck to try and shake off his stare. 

“We don’t have to do this, Bil.” You looked at the ground, focusing on the crack in the concrete that crawled its way across the sidewalk, drawing a line inbetween you and Billy. You couldn’t decide if that was fitting, or incredibly sad. Maybe it was both. 

“We’re not doing anything.” He shook his head innocently. 

“You know what I mea-” 

“Come home.”  

There was a pregnant pause in the conversation as the two of you eyed each other. 

“Billy, I-” 

“Just for tonight. Until Karen’s apartment is...safe again.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, searching for an ulterior motive. And of course, there was an ulterior motive. You couldn’t blame him for it, because you knew if the roles were reversed, you’d be doing the same thing.  

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” You shook your head, more towards yourself than at him.  

“Why not?” He cocked his head to the side. 

“You know why.”  

He nodded but shrugged his shoulders anyways.  

“I’m not going to leave you out here with nowhere to go. It’s either the apartment, or we spend the next few hours in awkward silence at a diner.” 

The apartment. Not ‘my’ apartment. He didn’t consider it his when you weren’t there to claim the other half of it. You couldn’t lie to yourself. You wanted so badly to go with him, to see the home that you’d built with him. You wanted so badly to see how he’d faired over the last month without you. It was with all this in mind, and not how much you missed him, that had you nodding, agreeing to go home. Just for a visit, you repeated in your mind, just for a visit. 

When you stepped into what was once the living room you shared with Billy, you were struck with an overwhelming sense of familiarity. There was nothing different about it, except that the bookshelf was a little less stuffed than usual. You’d grabbed your favorites on your way out, unable to part with them, even just for a little bit. 

“Can I get you some wine?” Billy asked, already heading toward the kitchen to pour himself a glass. You nodded, shrugging your jacket off and trying to ignore the strangeness of being treated like a guest in the home that you’d lived in for years.  

When Billy returned with two particularly full glasses, you plopped down on the couch. You didn’t know how to act, or what to say, or who to be when you were around him anymore and falling back into old habits seemed like a grand way to get your feelings hurt again. 

“You didn’t answer my question earlier.” Billy took a swig from his glass, sitting on the armchair across from the couch. You silently thanked the universe that he had put distance between the two of you. The closer he was, the less clearly you could think.  

“Which one?” 

“How’ve you been?” 

“Oh.” You took a sip, only because it gave you something to do with your hands. “I’ve been alright.” 

He smiled, but the corners of his mouth didn’t reach his eyes. Anyone who looked at you longer than two seconds could see that you’re clearly not doing alright, but you’d grown comfortable living in denial, and you weren’t going to admit how not alright you were.  

“Heard your date didn’t go well.” 

You scoffed. Maybe it was the wine, or the way he looked smug about the fact that you’d had a shitty date, but you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next.  

“Fuck you, Billy. It’s none of your business.” 

Billy looked startled by your outburst. You gulped down another mouthful of wine before rubbing your hand down your face. 

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I don’t know where that came from.” 

“It’s okay. I probably deserve it.” He shrugged, leaning back in his seat. 

“What happened to us?” You asked, gazing at the ceiling. 

“You tell me, sunflower. You’re the one that left.” 

Your heart ached at the nickname. It wasn’t fair that he used it, especially when you were clearly in a vulnerable mood, but you cherished it anyways.  

“You left first.”  

It was barely a whisper, said so quietly that you weren’t quite sure he had heard you. If the palpable tension that followed wasn’t indicative of his acknowledgment, the deep sigh that erupted from his chest soon after was indication enough. He stayed quiet, swirling the remaining wine in his glass around in small circles. 

You stared at him, unflinching in your assessment of his body language. He didn’t look as miserable as you felt, and a spark of anger ignited in your belly because of it.  

“Did you ever really love me, Bil?” You barked. It was bait, and both of you knew it. You’d never questioned his love for you, and he knew you were trying to get a rise out of him, but he couldn’t help stepping up to the plate and taking the bait. 

“What kind of fucking question is that?” He watched you closely. You tried not to let your triumph show on your face. “Of course, I love you.” 

He stood from his seat and rested his hands on his hips, willing you to do the same. Meet him where he stood, he dared, show him how much you still care. You were nothing if not a daredevil. You joined him in the middle of the room, pressing your index finger into his chest. 

“Well then, what the fuck happened?”  

“You. Tell. Me.” He gritted from between clenched teeth. 

Billy wasn’t being fair to you, and he knew it. You were asking a valid question, and he was cowering behind the anger and frustration in the room.  

“I can’t do this again, Bil.” You turned, reaching for your purse. A heavy tug on your elbow had you crashing into Billy’s chest, where he enveloped his arms around you and pulled you into a crushing hold.  

“You’re not leaving, are you?”  

There was a softness in his voice that tugged at your heartstrings. For a moment, you forgot you were speaking to a grown man and not an orphaned little boy. You blew a long breath out before shaking your head. He rested his forehead against your shoulder. 

“No, Bil. I’m not leaving.” 

“I always knew I’d end up breaking your pretty heart.” His voice was muffled by your shoulder, but you didn’t miss the slight crack in his words. “I knew I’d fuck it up eventually.” 

“I don’t understand what happened. Everything was fine, and then it wasn’t.” You blinked away the tears that had built up on your waterline.  

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.” 

You cupped his face as he dropped to his knees in front of you. His eyes, now red-rimmed and glassy, pleaded with you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from lowering your body next to his. 

“What’s going on?” You asked him, eyes flickering between his fast-blinking eyelids and rapidly shaking hands.  

“I was afraid.” He cleared his throat. “Am. I am afraid.” 

“Of what? Where is this coming from?” You gaped. You knew Billy struggled with commitment more than most – it had taken him almost a year of serious dating before he could tell you he loved you – but you thought he had moved past that. 

“Tom’s getting married.” 

Your brow furrowed. “What does Tom have to do with us?” 

“Tom’s getting married, and all I can think about is how I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give that to you, and how you deserve someone who can give you everything you want and more.” 

You let his words sink into your chest, dissecting every interaction you’d had with him leading up to your breakup. It had been a slow descent, and when it finally became too much, you’d left with no clue how you ended up alone and sleeping on Karen’s couch every night. 

“Billy,” You shuttered, shaking your head as tears began to travel down your cheeks, “I never said I wanted any of that.” 

“It’s what you deserve.” 

“But it’s not what I want. Why couldn’t you see that I was happy with the way things were?” 

“I was terrified that you’d leave me. And then I became a shit boyfriend, and you really did leave me, and it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

You wiped the tears from under your eyes and sniffled. “You weren’t always a shit boyfriend.” 

Billy snorted, letting a small smile cross his face as he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

“Can you ever forgive me, sunflower?” 

You considered his question. If you were being completely honest, you’d forgiven him as soon as you saw his pretty, brown eyes across the bar earlier, so sad and searching for you.  

“Can you promise that you’ll tell me when you’re feeling like this again, instead of shutting me out?” You cupped his cheek, eyes flicking down to his lips and then back up to his eyes.  

“I can promise that I’ll try.” He swallowed, searching your expression. “Is that enough?” 

You lurched forward, pressing your lips to his. The kiss tasted of red wine and salt, and you were suddenly grateful that you’d slumped to the floor earlier instead of waiting until now, when your knees were weak and shaking with anticipation.  

“I love you.” Billy mumbled inbetween kisses. 

“Show me.” You responded, opening yourself to him for the first time in over a month. 

He took you right there on the living room floor, a flurry of intertwined limbs, swollen lips, and skin brushing skin. His lips only left yours long enough to whisper praises against your neck before returning to yours in a bruising kiss. When you came apart underneath him, you couldn’t stop the tears from forming, but he didn’t mind. He kissed the tears away, apologies in their own right, as he continued showing you how much he loved you. 

Later on, after hours of reconciliation and apologies, you collapsed next to Billy on the couch. You’d lost your clothes a long time ago, only covered with the throw blanket you’d purchased the year before on a whim, and you watched as he sighed in quiet contemplation.  

“We should tell Karen and Frank that their plan worked.” You rested your head on his shoulder. He smiled, pulling you into his chest.  

“Let them figure it out on their own. They’ll come around at some point tomorrow when you still haven’t gone back.” 

He was right. The next morning, when Karen and Frank knocked on the door, you and Billy were still cuddled together on the couch, so worn out from the night before that you hadn’t been able to muster up the energy to move to the bedroom. You took one glance at Billy before you were on him again, uncaring that your friends were waiting. That’s fine, you thought, let them wait. Let them wait. 

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[reg-arcturus-black]

When Life Slips Away...

Billy Russo x Castle Reader

You and Billy have been frenemies ever since Frank introduced you two. Or that is what you tell everyone... But one incident at Anvil changes everything.

WARNINGS: mentions of gun, gun violence, mentions of blood, blood loss, death and war, cursing

Words: 3k

Masterlist

Gif not mine.

Y/N was the first emergency speed dial that Billy Russo had on his phone. It was ironic since your brother - Frank - was even closer to him. But to call Frank in an emergency would just make things worse. He was as bad as Billy when it came to situations that required not to panic because that is the first thing they would do. This is what their experience had taught them and made them used to.

You met Billy after Frank had returned from his first Marine Corps tour. In Frank's words, no one could survive even if they were fighting an empty handed Billy with a gun.

That is why after leaving the Corps, his decision to to start his own training company made perfect sense. Not to you, though. You had seen war change people and not everyone managed to get out. Frank and Billy however, had managed. So you did not see the need for them to be invested in something like this, no matter how much money it brought it.

You and Russo always had a will they won't they thing going on and it seemed to drive Frank and Maria crazy. But for different reasons. Frank didn't want his sister to be dating bad boy Billy and Maria just wanted the two of you to be happy but you were taking too much time.

You and Billy would flirt back and forth constantly and much too smoothly. The bickering on the other hand, was just as bad. You would fight on the silliest issue and say the stupidest things to bring the other one down. It would work but barely because then the other one would retaliate with something even harsher.

You were an architect and a good one at that. You didn't like to boast about it but your family sure did. In fact, you were the one who had remodeled the entire Anvil building, making sure to include spacious gyms, training rooms and multiple hide outs for practice drills.

Billy had always heard about your work from other people and teased you about how you must have bribed them to say that. When he saw your finished work for himself, he had patted your back and nodded his head. Which in your language meant that he liked it.

"You can see everything from your office up here with all the transparent walls but no one can see inside," you had told.

"Oh, wow. You are good for something! Who knew?"

"Yeah... Now you can bring all your floozies here and no one would even know..."

"Damn sure I will."

What you didn't understand was why him agreeing to bring other girls had hurt you. It was his office, he could do whatever he wanted. So suppressing that feeling, you had chosen to focus on your next projects and thinking about new comebacks.

You and Frank fought like cats and dogs when young but that went away eventually as you grew older. Random brunches, meeting at least twice a week, going for pizza was nothing new for your family. And it went without saying that Billy would ALWAYS be there.

You were not the one he went to for advice but you were always the one he came to when he needed someone to validate his feelings. Because you always agreed with him even when he was wrong and justified his anger. You both were extremely similar and perhaps that is why always kept bickering. The need to be right and emerge over the top drove the two of you.

However, you both admired and respected that the other one was on the top in their respective fields. A respect which was never verbal but shown through attending various events such as practice drills and open houses even if it was under the pretense of mocking and getting free drinks.

He knew you had one special boundary which he could never cross. It was disturbing you while you worked. You were fine with prank calls and could easily turn the tables on the caller but not when you were in your zone engrossed in a project. He had learned that the hard way when he tried messing with you on the phone, breaking your concentration and had to face the repercussions by not talking to you for a whole week. Although he couldn't understand why that had bothered him. It was not like you two were besties.

So when your phone rang while you were in the middle of a project, you groaned and checked your phone.

William

You knew he hated it when you called him that so you made sure to save his name that way. Rolling your eyes, you put the phone upside down and got back to sketching. Something felt wrong though. You had not seen Billy in 2 weeks which sent a clear message that you were busy. Then he must have had a reason.

Receiving the call and putting it on speaker, you went back to work.

"Hello?" You asked after a few seconds. "Billy?"

You didn't hear a reply, just some shuffling and thudding. You mentally cursed yourself. It was a stupid butt dial.

Billy was earning millions and yet he couldn't get a decent phone which somehow prevented this. You were about to hang up when you suddenly heard a door slamming. No, no, it was not that. It was a freaking bullet.

Your heart started racing and your hands got clammy. That was until you realised that Billy must be at Anvil. Bullet sounds were nothing new.

You were about to hang up when someone screamed. This was not a part of Anvil or drills, right? You intuition told you something was wrong. Very, very wrong. Grabbing your phone and keys, you rushed to your car and started driving towards Anvil.

Your mind was racing with thoughts about Billy. You prayed desperately to anyone who was listening for him to be okay. He had helped a lot of people. He was the reason Frank's family was safe and hidden when Rawlin's men had come looking for them. Not only Maria and the kids, but he had protected you also.

He knew that the others had Frank to protect them but you did not. Sure, Frank loved you and he would do anything for his sister but Billy could not wait for the moment to decide whom would Frank choose to save in a matter of life and death. So one night after Frank and his family went into hiding, he brought you to his house.

It was not like you had not been there before but this had felt different... Intimate. He didn't let you step out of the house and neither did he until he was sure Rawlin and his entire network had been arrested and punished.

You claimed that sitting around doing nothing made them the worst 4 weeks of your life but you knew you were wrong. Billy also knew that you didn't mean it. What he didn't know was that he was the reason. He took care of you, cooked often and found silly reasons to celebrate with his expensive wine collection each night. He would be a perfect gentleman the nights you would get drunk and tuck you in. He would sit down on the floor next to the bed in the guest room and fall asleep there because you would not let go of his hand.

He was almost too afraid to let you go back to your apartment after everything has settled. He did not want to take any chance. He was at the door trying to hide his emotions when you had thrown your arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Thank you, Billy," you had whispered and he had nodded against you.

That one moment had almost led to so much more. And gosh you wanted it to! But then his phone had rang when you were about to kiss and that was that.

A loud horn snapped you out of your day dreaming when you looked up and saw a huge truck parked in front of Anvil. You had not completely entered Anvil's drive way so the driver hadn't see you yet. You waited for a few minutes to see what would happen. Billy's phone was going straight to voicemail so you decided to slowly get down from you car and go check inside.

You had just stepped outside when you saw 4 men in black with faces covered running outside and getting in the truck. They had huge bags which they had managed to take with them.

You quickly opened your door and opened your glove box. There it was. A loaded Magnum .22. Billy had given it to you just in case. He had also taught you how to use it and got you a license for it.

The truck had started reversing into the drive way to leave when Billy finally came out. His hair was disheveled and even from a distance you could tell he was panting. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest made you feel things inside. You snapped yourself out of those thoughts and focused on the truck.

Realising that the bags must have something important, you moved a little forward and pointed your gun at one of the rear wheels.

"Y/N, no!" You heard Billy shout but fired anyway.

The tire popped with a loud sound. You then pointed to the second rear wheel. Without wasting a single second, you fired again.

You had never felt so charged up in your life before. Adrenaline was pumping through your veins and making your heart beat faster. Seeing Billy safe gave you a relief you weren't expecting to feel.

Putting your gun down, you waved to Billy, feeling extremely proud of what you had done. Instead of reciprocating your smile, he looked... Angry. No, he look worried and angry.

He started running towards you but you realised it a bit too late. One of the guys from the now-motionless truck had already gotten down and was pointing a gun at you.

Your eyes widened in fear and shock as you raised your own gun with shaky hands. You were trying to show that you were not scared but the truth was, you were very, very scared. And Billy was still too far away.

"What's that going to do to us?" The man laughed, looking at your gun.

Before you could shoot, he did. The noise was loud enough to scare you even further.

You only realised the bullet had hit you when your body jerked back in response. It had hit you straight in the abdomen and blood was spilling out all over your pink shirt.

You allowed yourself to sit down, the blood loss already making you dizzy. It seemed as if your brain had also stopped processing sound. Your half blurry vision caught Billy reaching the truck and pointing his own gun at the people inside through the window. The man who had shot you fell down suddenly and his blood started spilling all over the gravel.

"Shit," Billy cursed when he finally reached you. "I told you not to, Y/N," he shouted, adding pressure to your wound. "Why do you get involved in things you have no idea about!" His hands were now stained with your blood. "For once in your life do what I tell you to and keep your eyes open! You hear me, Y/N? Keep your goddamn eyes open!"

He quickly picked you up and helped you into the backseat of your car, getting into the driver's seat.

"I - I was just trying to help you," you said but the words barely came out. Instead, what came out was some more blood from your mouth.

"Shh... it's okay, baby... It's okay... I know," he said, extending his free hand to reach you.

He had been in the Marine Corps and seen things worse than someone getting shot in the abdomen. He had seen his own best friends die but this... This made his heart grip with fear. The best thing about you was that you were not in the army meaning no one could kill you the way Billy had seen people being killed. The way he had killed them himself.

"Keep your eyes open, Y/N!" He exclaimed, shaking your hand. The ride to the hospital was a blur to him. All he knew was that with each passing second, he was losing his own life. He did not have time for an ambulance to arrive. He could not gamble on someone else for your life. You were much too precious for that.

You were so tired. And so much in pain. You wanted to sleep for a while. Billy kept asking you to keep your eyes open but you promised him that you would sleep for just 5 minutes. He probably didn't hear you but that was okay. Someone in a white uniform opening your car door was the last thing you remembered before you finally allowed yourself to close your eyes.

When you tried to open your eyes, you were aware of someone crying into your hand. You turned your head a little and saw red hands holding yours and crying into them. You wanted to sleep again.

When you fluttered and opened your eyes next, you saw a man sleeping on the couch next to a big window.

The next time you opened your eyes, you saw how white the room was and the man on the couch was sleeping on a stool near your bed with his head near you. You tried to move your hand to reach his head but grew tired when you had reached only the elbow. You wanted to sleep again.

When you opened your eyes, you were able to make out Frank and Maria staring at you.

"I am not that pretty," you laughed.

"You had us worried, kid," Frank said, placing a kiss on your head.

"What happened?" You asked.

"Well, because you shot a bunch of tires and made a few bad people very mad. So they shot you."

"They did what?" You exclaimed, trying to get up but the sudden sharp pain in your abdomen pulled you down. "Ow... Okay, yes, that explains a lot of stuff."

That awful afternoon came back to you as Maria helped you with a glass of water. With the events of that day came back one word: Billy.

"Where - where is Billy?" You asked softly.

"We'll send him inside," Maria said softly. "He's waiting outside."

"I mean... Do we have to?" Frank questioned grudgingly.

"It is high time now, Frank..." She said and pulled him out.

You had closed your eyes again for a while when you heard a scraping sound and opened your eyes to see Billy dragging the stool to sit next to you.

"Hey, Bills," you greeted and reached for his hand. You were half expecting him to pull away but he did not. Instead, he brought it to his mouth and kissed it gently, keeping it pressed to his lips for a while.

"Do you know how worried I was?" He asked, voice breaking. "You were right there... In - in my arms, bleeding all over and I could do nothing... Nothing!"

"Hey..." You took your hand to his cheek, caressing it. "I am okay now, Bills. You don't have to worry..."

"You're okay now! Do you even know how long you have been out for? For 6 days, Y/N! 6 days! Do you see how scary that is? Who had asked you to jump in? Why were you even at Anvil?"

6 days came as a shock to you but even more shocking was Billy's reaction.

"You had called me by mistake and I - I guess I just knew something was wrong. So I had to come and check."

"Oh, of course you had to! No you didn't, Y/N! It was just some money! I had it handled."

"Sure you did, William," you laughed but something told you Billy wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"I almost lost you, Y/N! And I spent 6 days not knowing if you were ever coming back to me or not... Do you know how that feels?"

Your fingers traced the dark bags under his eyes which you had never seen before.

You sighed and moved to the side of your bed, making some space. Getting your message clearly, he climbed in next to you, his strong arms engulfing you at once.

"You have annoyed me to death, Y/N," he said softly, making you chuckle. "But you are my life and I can lose everything but you. Not you, Y/N."

"You mean more to me than I can ever put in words, Russo. You are my world... I love you..."

You looked up at him only to see him smiling. Nothing had ever felt better before.

"I love you so, so much, Y/N. And something tells me I won't ever stop loving you."

You reached his lips and captured them with your own, not letting go for a long while. You allowed yourself to melt even further into his touch and felt him place a kiss on your head.

He didn't stop loving you when you left the hospital and joined work. He didn't stop loving you when you scolded him for ruining Anvil's headquarters. He didn't stop loving you when Frank Jr. walked in on you and him... getting busy. In fact, he soon made his promise official in the front of the entire world when stood opposite to you and said 'I do'.

[magicalqueennightmare]

I'm Yours (Pt. 1/2)

Gif by @banditthewriter

You and Billy have always been friends..just friends right?

Warnings: Billy is not Canon so no narcissistic sociopath (I can point you towards some amazing writers that do have Canon Billy Russo stories), violence (an attempted attack on reader, talk of sex and cursing

Word count: 6k

How the hell did you manage to always let Billy rope you into the most insane things possible? You looked up from the numerous files around you and the clipboard in your hand where you'd been scribbling scribbling notes to look over at him. He was sitting across from you on the floor of his office, where you were crossed legged and just in socks he still wore his boots and had his long legs stretched out in front of him with his laptop perched in his lap. You were helping him to plan the annual banquet for Anvil.

The benefactors would be a charity backing affordable housing for vets and one that supported abuse victims and single mothers. You watched him for a second, noticing how the little crease between his eyes deepened when he didn’t like whatever he was reading on the screen. He cut his eyes up when he felt your attention on him and smiled "Like what ya see sweetheart?"

Oh yeah that's how he always managed it. That damn smile of his. He'd been your best friend longer than you could remember and had gotten you into some insane circumstances from flashing that smile and saying please. "Honestly, yeah. This is more relaxed than I've seen you in weeks" you answered honestly, motioning between the two of you.

Billy was wearing jeans instead of his usual suit and a dark green Henley that you knew was at least a few years old. It was a little tighter than recent bought ones but you weren't complaining about the view. On top of that he'd showered before picking you up from your place so his hair wasn't styled as much which meant there were a few pieces that had dropped down onto his forehead that he'd given up on pushing back after losing the fight a few times. "Easy Y/N, you're always telling me I've got an over inflated ego as is. You keep talking like that it's just gonna get bigger" you rolled your eyes before grabbing a discarded paper and balling it up to launch at his head.

Of course he caught it but the action caused a slight grimace to flash across his face. "What happened?" You asked glancing towards his left shoulder considering he'd caught the paper with that hand. He shrugged "Me and Frankie might have got a little competitive in training today. Just tweaked it a bit" you shook your head before moving to place the clipboard and files on the couch that was right behind you. You moved around to support your back against the couch then patted the floor in front of you "C'mere Russo. Let me help"

He laid his laptop to the side, placing the files he had on top of it before moving across the floor. With the height difference between the two of you it took a little maneuvering but once he was comfortablely sitting between your legs you started to rub across his left shoulder, working at the spots you knew bothered him the most any time the old injury flared up. He was quiet for a moment, the sound of the light music you'd turned on filling the room mixed with your shared breathing.

After a moment a sight left his lips "God damn that feels good" you laughed "Easy yourself Russo. That high of praise would damn sure go to a woman's head" He turned his head just enough to glance over his shoulder at you "Does someone have a praise kink I never knew about?" You felt your face warm but you didn't shy away "Oh like you don't preen when you get told how amazing you are"

He raised an eyebrow, turning to the point he was nearly laying in your lap instead of leaning against your legs like he had been doing "I'm curious now. I thought I knew everything about you. I'm a little heart broken..wait does Karen know this?" You didn't meet his eyes so he hooked on arm around your waist, burying his face into your stomach "She's taken my place as your best friend hasn't she?"

You couldn't help but laugh. The current position the two of you were in mixed with the fact that he very much sounded like a child that found out their best friend indeed knew other people was too ridiculous for words. You ran your fingers through his hair "I'm sorry Billy. Is that what you wanna hear?" He leaned his head back to look up at you "You're being patronizing but that feels good"

You shook your head, playfully pushing him away from you "You're horrible. You know that" in moments like this you felt like one of the luckiest people in New York. Very few got to see Billy like this, hair a mess with a broad smile on his face and laid out in the middle of the floor nearly on the verge of laughter. He grabbed his chest in mock pain "You keep secrets then make fun of me? Yet you call me horrible"

You rolled your eyes "Do you really wanna talk about my sex life Billy?::" he made a so/so motion with his hand "Some of those exes of yours barely walked away breathing, ain't gonna lie. I hated em. That doctor you dated a while back weren't that bad though, he was smart enough to show fear when he met Frank" you laughed at the memory of Kaycee meeting Frank, if only Billy knew Kaycee's words had been "Frank does look like he'd kill me if I hurt you no doubt but Billy looks like he'd enjoy killing me if I caused you any pain"

"Well what kinks do you have that I don't know about Mr Russo?" You asked, turning it around on him. He grinned "I am a open book for ya darlin. If you wanna talk em or try em out" you shook your head again "Ridiculous, like I said. Let's get back to it. This banquet won't plan itself" he watched you for a minute before saying "I'm buying your dress and Karen's. Before you argue she assists with good press and legal matters, you help secure donors and work the crowd at these things with me so it's a business expense"

You knew it was no use arguing so instead you asked "Think I should veer off getting a black dress?" He grinned broadly "You look gorgeous in anything but I'd be lying if I said you weren't a knockout in a black gown" you laughed "Black it is"

A few days later you were sitting in Josie's, squeezed between Karen and Curtis in a corner booth while you listened to Billy and Frank recount a meeting they'd had with a senator that week. "Was it that bad Curt?" You asked, leaning over on his shoulder. He laughed "It was worse. Thought I was gonna have to call you two to come control these two"

You tsk tsked at both men. "Frank, I'm disappointed in you" "Bill did it too!" He reasoned but you caused a chorus of laughter when you replied "Yeah but I've come to expect the worse of him"

"Y/N, wanna go to the bathroom with me?" Karen asked so you nodded. Frank slid out the booth which allowed her then you to climb out. "Be right back fellas"

----------

The three of them watched you and Karen walk away before Frank looked back at Billy. One look and Billy knew what the other man was thinking even before he said "You've gone from Billy the beaut to being whipped without even being in a relationship" "She's my best friend man, present company excluded she knows more about me than anyone. Of course I'm gonna watch her back" "and her ass when she walks away?" Frank questioned pointing to Curtis when he added "Or her chest when she moves the right way and her shirt slips"

Billy shook his head "I've got eyes ok. She's a beautiful woman, I'm allowed to look" "One question brother and I'll let it go" Frank said so Billy nodded to tell him go ahead. "Think of her getting in a serious relationship. One where she loves the guy, she gushes about the sex and she spends more time with him than she's ever spent with you....how's that mental image?"

Billy cut his eyes at Frank, the dark brown they usually were had shifted to near black. "That's what I thought" Curtis looked across the bar "They're headed back"

----------

You followed Karen across the bar. She'd been teasing you because you let it slip that Billy figured out your praise thing by accident. "How do you accidently discover a kink?" She asked then shook her head "Never mind. I don't wanna know" you laughed "Oh C'mon page! You know me and Billy have never crossed that line"

She reached out for your hand, pulling you into her side "But you've dreamt about it" your eyes widened "Karen Page! You swore to secrecy!" "That doesn't mean I don't still find it hilarious the extents you two go to fight the attraction that is so obvious" you cut your eyes at her and was about to say something when you spotted Billy come to meet the two of you halfway "Either of you ladies want another round?:"

Karen offered your hand that she still had a hold of to him "Yeah Y/N just mentioned she wanted another so why don't you two grab me a beer while you're at it?"

----------

You glared at her even as Billy slipped an arm around your waist. She winked then walked away. "What were you two laughing about?" He asked, leaning down close to your ear so you could hear him over the growing noise in the bar "Just something I told Karen a while back that I swore her not to repeat to anyone else but she still likes to pick on me about"

He nodded slowly "Note to self, suck up to Page. She apparently holds some juicy secrets I really need to know" you shook your head "Nu uh Russo. I trained her, she won't break"

----------

While the two of you waited on your drinks you turned with your back to the bar looking over the crowd. Matt had a date tonight and Foggy was having dinner with Marci's mother. Billy kept one hand on your hip closest to him, it was a habit he'd long since formed. Even back when he would just be stateside for a couple weeks here and there. Back then it was a grounding thing, something to remind him he was home and safe. You were something familiar to him. Now? You assumed it was just on old habits was hard to break thing.

"Billy?" You asked after a moment and he responded by pulling you to his chest "Yeah?" You looked down at where his hands now rested, one on both of your hips "Why do you still do that?" He looked down then a flash of confusion spread across his face "Touch you?" You shook your head "Keep a hand on me in crowds"

He shrugged "It started as a way to remind me I was home, now? I think I just like knowing you're close when we're in a crowded area. Best way to keep you safe. If it's something you've outgrown being comfortable with i can work on stopping it" you shook your head with a small smile before teasing "No but if you ever get a serious girlfriend she's probably gonna have issue with the habit and the reasoning"

He shrugged one shoulder "I don't see that happening anytime soon" you broke apart quickly when Josie whistled "Y/N, Billy grab your drinks" you cut your eyes at her with a smile and she grinned. You grabbed yours and Karen's drinks, leaving Billy to grab the other three before heading for the booth.

Something eventually would have to give between you and Billy. There was too much almost, too much nearly. One day he'd find someone, you knew it. Hell what if one day someone came along and swept you off your feet? You looked back at him and knew in your heart that the chances of that were low but still, would you end up one day loosing Billy? That thought made your heart clench.

You were at Billy's, half asleep on his couch. The night before he'd asked you for help finalizing plans for the banquet. It was after two in the morning by the time you were done so he offered for you to just crash there.

There'd been argument over the bed versus couch debate. He'd wanted you to take the bed, you'd refused to kick him out of his bed. After neither of you would budge you both ended up dozing off on the couch, him with his arms wrapped around you.

The only thing that had woke you was when he'd gotten up because his phone was ringing in the other room. "Russo?" He answered and you nearly rolled your eyes at just how good his voice sounded first thing in the morning. Your heart however hit your feet when you heard him say "Hey Scar, how's it going?" You only knew one Scar in context to Billy. His ex Scarlett.

She was gorgeous. Five foot ten, long luscious chestnut brown curls. Big bright green eyes and a complexion the gods would envy. Worse than her looks? She was a sweetheart too. You didn't want to hear anymore so you rolled over to get up and head to the kitchen. You needed coffee and to not hear the conversation Billy was having with the Greek goddess that was on his phone.

Billy stepped to the door of his bedroom "Make me a cup too?" You heard your name as he shut the door behind himself. You wanted to believe he was just getting dressed, despite the number of times you'd seen him down to boxers maybe he wanted privacy to change or maybe he wanted privacy for his phone call? You groaned to yourself, you weren't overthinking. You were gonna get coffee, find your purse to brush your hair then get your boots on. You needed to head home, change and start your day.

----------

You were tying your boots on by the time Billy walked out his bedroom, a smile played across his face. He stopped short when he saw that your boots and jacket were on. Not to mention you'd brushed through your hair and was drinking out of a travel mug instead of a regular coffee mug.

"What's wrong?" You asked and he motioned around "Were you gonna leave while I was distracted?" You shrugged "I was gonna knock before leaving. You were talking to Scarlett so I didn't want to interrupt" christ that sounded pathetic to your own damn ears, your face warmed slightly when one of his eyebrows shot up "It was just about something I'd called her about last week"

You stood up from where you'd been standing "No explanation needed" he grinned, reaching for you but you pulled away with the excuse of walking into the kitchen to grab his coffee. You held it out to him as he nodded back towards the couch "seriously though sweetheart, I was coming back. We still got a couple hours before either of us is due into work" you shook your head, suddenly you were feeling self conscious about waking up in Billy's arms. "And God knows that's an appropriate things for friends to do, let's lay here and cuddle after I just spent thirty minutes on the phone with my ex who by the way I'm still not sure isn't fuckin aphrodite reincarnate"

You weren't sure where that reply had come from, or what had stirred it out of you but your words hung heavy. You stood there staring at each other for a moment, both holding cups of coffee like they were shields in a battle. Billy broke first, a short laugh escaping him "aphrodite huh? Damn Y/N if you wanted her number, all you had to do was ask"

You rolled your eyes but were glad he'd stirred the conversation into a more light hearted direction. "Seriously though, are we good?" He asked, eyes searching your face. You forced a weak smile. It was small but genuine as you said "We're always good babe" he grinned then kissed your forehead "We meeting for lunch?"

You shook your head "Karen claimed me for the bulletins luncheon since Frank couldn't join her" he rolled his eyes that time "You were my best friend first" you laughed then leaned up to kiss his cheek "Love ya too Billy. I'm gonna head home to shower and change but I'll text you later. Promise"

----------

Billy watched you walk out with mixed thoughts. Between your questions as to why he kept a hand on you in crowds, mixed with what you said about the two of you sharing a sleeping space was beginning to make him think there was something else going on. He was fairly certain you weren't jealous of Scarlett either. She was his only ex that you had liked.

Were you seeing someone? Or wanting to and that was the driving force behind all the confusion? No you'd tell him, you always told him when you were dating or interested in someone. There were hardly no secrets between you and him, yet this was once he knew with no doubt you were hiding something from him and he had no clue how to find out.

"That's for inviting me Kare" you followed her through the restaurant Ellison had rented out. She smiled over her shoulder "You were number one pick actually. I love Frank, you know I do but he's not the best in circumstances that require him to make small talk with people he has nothing in common with"

---------

You were glad you were off that day because Karen decided to take the rest of the day off as well. She'd turned in her article and wasn't needed to get the evening edition out.

The two of you were picking up your banquet dresses and talking. You'd mentioned to her in passing about Billy talking to Scarlett. "Are you maybe jealous Y/N?" She asked as you both laid your dresses in her car's backseat. You started to deny it but stopped because you were. The thought of Billy being with someone who he could see a future with, someone that would be his for good and not just for a good time? It fuckin terrified you.

"Oh honey" she cooed sympathetically. You shook your head "I mean I don't get jealous over his flybys" she narrowed her eyes at you "You don't get AS jealous. That's because you know any flyby would never come near taking your spot. You and Billy have this bond. You love each other in every way humanly possible but maybe to some extent you're hiding in it. If neither of you are gonna make a step to break walls down to admit true feelings maybe you should at least admit that emotional wise you and Billy are what Frank and I are to each other"

"Are we really hiding?" You asked and she smiled "You and Billy both haven't actually dated since he broke up with Scarlett and you broke up with Kaycee, within two days of each other mind you. Yeah you both go out, you have sex but neither of you takes anyone home. Thats because sex is the other lacking feature to your relationship"

You threw your hands up in exasperation "So what should I do?" She smiled slightly "Do me a favor?" You waved a hand "Go ahead" she gently took one of your hands "think of him getting in a serious relationship. One where he loves the girl, he gushes about the sex and he spends more time with her than he's ever spent with you....how's that mental image?" You cut your eyes up at her without saying a word and she smiled "Thought so"

Working admin in a hospital wasn't the most glamorous job but it paid your bills and ninety percent of your coworkers you got along with pretty well.

You were working your way through a stack of paperwork when a text came through on your phone. It took a few moments of digging to find it. You clicked the screen saw it was a text from Billy that read "You're still my plus one for the banquet right?" You shook your head and almost laughed but it occurred to you what if he wanted to take someone else?

You finally texted back "Well if you have a hot date I'm sure Frank or Curtis could get me through security" you hadn't even laid your phone down when the reply was "They can have a dance with you but it's my job to get you in" you laughed moreso at yourself than anything. You were overthinking. That's all. Your fear of losing him was just peeking up at inopportune times.

You texted back "So does that mean I get a dance with you? Or am I getting pawned off on donors and our friends all night?:" Your phone started ringing then so you glanced around before clicking to answer "Hey Billy" before even saying hello he said "I would never pawn you off on donors or our friends darlin. Matter of fact, you wanna stick to my side all night you're welcome to. I'm sure we even got a spare com that you can pop in"

You rolled your eyes at his teasing "If I'm wearing a com I'm working so I would expect a check from Anvil" the sound of his laughter wrapped around you as he said "Now we both know that's not exactly true. You hate me paying for anything for you" "You got me there" you spotted one of the interns from the emergency department heading towards you so you added "I gotta go Billy" about that time you heard Curtis in the background of Billy's call. "Me too. I'll see ya later Y/N"

You hung up then smiled at the intern. Her name was Melanie, she was a sweet girl and smart as hell. How she always ended up getting the jobs where she was playing runner around the hospital were beyond you, maybe you needed to call Kaycee and see if he could get her a lighter load.

"Hey Y/N. It was my turn to do the coffee run" she held up a to-go cup from the shop on the corner "So I grabbed your usual" your smile deepened as you took the cup "Thank you Melanie! You didn't have to do that" she shrugged "You're always so nice" you smiled again "Thank you and if they keep giving you trouble in the e.d. let me know. I've got a friend or two that works down there that I may be able to pull strings with" she grinned "Will do. Have a good day Y/N"

You watched her walk off and sipped your coffee before eyeing the stack of files on your desk, may as well dive back in.

You walked across the floor of Karen's living room, the bottom of your dress making a light swishing noise as it brushed across the thick carpet.

You'd picked a long black number that hugged your curves just right. While it was longer than you would usually pick, the high slit made mobility easy and the ankle boots Karen had recommended looked amazing with it and was comfortable on your feet. You and her were getting ready at her place because Frank was doing one last walk through with Billy, Curtis and Marcel.

Of course Billy had a car service coming to pick the two of you up along with another retrieving Angel, Curt's girlfriend. Karen walked out of her room and smiled brightly "You look gorgeous!"

You raised an eyebrow at her "Have you looked in the mirror ma'am? I am worried for Frank's heart!" While your dress had lace sleeves hers was strapless and a little shorter. She grinned "Well I gotta make sure it's good every now and then" she walked around you, tapping her fingers along your low neckline playfully before asking "Are you trying to tempt Billy?"

You rolled your eyes "Let it go Page" she shook her head and you knew she was about to go into a rant but your phone chimed. You picked up it then showed her "That's from the car service. Let's go"

----------

Billy stood next to Frank Watching their men from Anvil working their way through the banquet hall as guests slowly started to stream in. "Where's Y/N and Karen?" Angel asked as she and Curtis walked up next to them. Frank shrugged one shoulder "Kare texted me. They should be here anytime"

Marcel's voice came across the coms "Frank, Billy. Your better halves are here" Billy couldn't hide the smirk that slipped onto his face. Marcel was one of the first guys they'd recruited so it meant he'd jumped into Frank and Curt's teasing where you were concerned, of course he was respectful around you but when it was just the guys Billy caught hell.

Billy looked towards the entrance and saw you and Karen walk in, your arms looped through each other's. You looked absolutely beautiful. Your hair was in some curly updo and your dress looked like it'd been made just for you. It skimmed across your body, hugging every curve perfectly and that low neckline let just enough of your collarbone peek out he found himself wanting nothing more than to taste the skin there.

"Bill, wipe your chin man. It's unbecoming of a ceo" Curtis spoke holding out a handkerchief. Angel giggled lightly "My god are you two actually not together? Because if someone looked at me like that..." She trailed off at Curtis' look then added "I mean if I wasn't head over heels for my amazing boyfriend"

Curtis winked at her then said "No, they aren't together" she clicked her tongue "Pity. C'mon Curtis let's go get a drink" the two of them wondered off about the time you and Karen made it to Billy and Frank's side. Your smile made his heart speed up just a bit. Shit he was in deep wasn't he?

----------

You smiled when Frank hugged you and kissed your forehead before pulling Karen into his arms and placing a kiss on her lips "I'm glad everyone here knows Karen is spoken for because there was a lot of eyes watching the two of you"

You laughed lightly "They were probably looking at miss blonde bombshell over here" and nudged Karen's side. Billy winked at you "I'm pretty sure anyone looking was thinking damn those two are the most beautiful women in New York. Who's the lucky assholes that get to have them on their arms tonight"

Karen grinned "You are such a sweet talker Russo" Frank shook his head "Wanna dance Kare?" She smiled "Of course" and threw a look in your direction that screamed to ask Billy to dance before she let Frank pull her away.

You and Billy stood there for a moment in silence before he motioned to the dance floor "So do I get to make everyone in here jealous?" You laughed as you took his hand "Pretty sure you got that backwards Russo but feel free to push me around the dance floor"

----------

There was something about being in Billy's arms, a breath away from each other as you moved with the music letting him lead you.

His right hand was splayed across your lower back, holding you close to him while his left hand held your right hand to his chest, just over his heart. Your left hand rested at the nape of his neck. You tried not to but his dark brown eyes held your attention, effectively making it feel as if the two of you were the only people in the room. There was something so intimate about it that you found your face warning under his attention.

"Billy.." he cut you off with a smile "No talking darling. Song's still going" you rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless. "I'm sorry for snipping about Scar the other day" he leaned closer, his warm breath fanning over your neck as he spoke "It's fine sweetheart" the thought occurred to you that if anyone looked they probably assumed from the angle that he'd just kissed your neck. The thought must have hit him too because he laughed "I've been accused of worse than kissing my best friend"

You raised your eyes to him "Is that so?" He grinned "Just hush and let me hold you. It looks bad if you run from me here" you laughed, gathering the attention of a few nearby people. You shot them an apologetic smile before telling Billy "You act like you're so horrible Russo. From where I stand you're a pretty decent man"

-------------

The two of you finished your dance about the time you spotted a few donors you knew he needed to talk to and would want you on his arm for. "Billy there's the Galvestons and MacKenzies" he followed your line of sight. "You're amazing you know that?:" he whispered into your ear as he looped an arm around your waist to guide you through the crowd.

----------

Billy was checking in with Marcel and Isaiah so you'd wondered over to the bar area with Karen and Angel. You could see his tall frame in the corner of the banquet room and kept glancing that way. Angel noticed first, clearing her throat "The dance is getting tiring Y/N" your eyes were wide when you looked at her "What?"

Karen motioned in Billy's vicinity "You and him. Good lord you make a gorgeous couple. The way you looked at each other on the dance floor, working the donors. He looks at you like you're the most important thing in his life and you look at him like he's home"

"He's never acted like I'm more than his friend" You reasoned and the two shared a look. "Honey, he grew up in a group home. Frank was the first true friend he made and look how old Billy was when they met. He isn't exactly the best at showing his emotions. He'd rather buy us something than to tell us he cares" Karen replied and Angel added "Plus you aren't the best at it either. You broke up with Kaycee cause he was catching feelings and let's be real here Billy broke up with Scarlett because he knew getting serious with her would drive you away. You two are head over heels for each other. Just fucking kiss him"

You laughed in surprise at her bluntness but then again Curtis was brutally honest at times too. You shook your head "I'm going to the bathroom" "want us to come?" Karen offered but you shook your head. With Anvil working security and Billy within screaming distance you were safe enough. That thought made your head hurt, you felt safe because of Billy's proximity alone. You were gone.

----------

You were walking out of the bathroom when you heard a noise. The banquet hall was a large place but you were confident that Anvil employees had cleared it so you took a few steps towards the hall "Hello?"

A man came running towards you. He was dressed in street clothes so he must have snuck in. A smear of blood was across the front of his shirt and his eyes were wild. Before you knew it your back was slammed against a wall and you had a knife to your throat "I need a way outta here" he slurred, clearly high.

You tried to stay calm, wishing you'd taken Billy's offer for a com before saying "Ok. I can get you past security. They know me. They won't question it" he seemed to think about what you said for a moment before his eyes settled on your chest "Or maybe we could have some fun first then I can take you with me"

You felt your stomach churn. There was no way he was getting you to move from the spot you were at. You eyed the knife in his hand and tried to spot any more weapons. You knew what body parts could take a knife wound and not cause too much damage, perks of having the people in your life that you did. "What ya say sunshine?" He asked, one hand gripping your hip.

You swallowed hard before bringing your knee up into his crotch. The material of your dress took away some of the blow but it was still enough to make him stumble back. He swung the knife wildly so you used your arm to block your stomach, grunting when you felt the blade bit deeply into the meat and muscle of your arm. He reached for you but only managed to rip the front of your dress down from your neckline to near naval.

You kicked out, managing to catch his right knee. The moment he went down you kicked him in the face as hard as you could then turned to run. You'd barely made it two feet before you heard Frank and Billy's voices. You breathed a sigh of relief knowing you were safe.

----------

Marcel had intercepted the report of a suspect on the run from NYPD in the area. Apparently the man had a history of physical violence, sexual violence and substance abuse.

Billy picked men to clear the banquet hall then went in search of you, Karen and Angel to ensure the three of you were ok. He felt panic slip into his chest when he found Karen and Angel without you. "Where's Y/N?" He asked Karen who pointed "She went to the bathroom. Something wrong?"

Without a word Billy left the room, not quite running but no one dared to step in his way. "Stay here!" Frank warned Karen before quickly following Billy.

"There's an old set of French doors in the courtyard" Billy explained running in earnest once he hit the hall.

Billy felt his heart nearly stop when he came around the corner to the sight of you, your dress ripped, blood pouring from your arm but fighting like hell. "Y/N!" He screamed as you ran directly into his arms.

"Get her help Bill. I got this asshole" Frank told him before dragging the man to his feet. "Cmon sweetheart" Billy cooed to you. You didn't even flinch when you heard the muffled gunshot or Frank's voice across Billy's radio "Call NYPD. Suspect down"

----------

Billy found an empty office right off the main banquet room. He called Marcel and Isaiah to guard the door while he walked you inside.

He eased you down onto the desk, stripping his suit jacket off to place around your shoulder before tearing the rest of your sleeve off to get a look at the cut along your arm. "Y/N" your name whispered sounded so loud in the empty space. When your eyes met his and that usual fire wasn't resting in your sight he felt his stomach drop further "Did he hurt you worse than this?"

You shook your head slowly "I paid attention all the times you and Frank have taught me" he touched your arm gently "Even when I told you where could take a knife with the least damage" you nodded.

Silence fell between you as he bandaged you the best he could "You need to see a doctor" "Get Curtis" you replied but he shook his head "A real doctor" you let out a shaking breath "Ok. This doesn't need to get out it could hurt Anvil"

He laughed despite himself "You're worried about Anvil? Fuck Anvil, you're more important" there were tears in your eyes "Let Marcel take over. Frank can end the banquet. Take me home, we can call Kaycee. He'll come give me a once over and won't run his mouth"

The idea of jealousy over Kaycee was long forgotten. He nodded "Ok. I'm gonna send Isaiah in here with you while I go tell everyone. Is that ok?" You nodded so he walked to the door and called Isaiah inside.

He pulled his suit jacket further around you "I'll be right back" he kissed your cheek then walked out.

You sat on Billy's bed wearing a pair of his sweatpants and one of his pt shirts. Kaycee was talking to him about aftercare and any symptoms you needed to keep an eye out for.

You had a mild concussion and fifteen stitches in your arm. The knife had sliced your neck but just enough for butterfly stitches. You were lucky, you'd been capable of fighting and had help nearby. You didn't want to think too hard on the what ifs of Billy and Frank not coming to your rescue.

----------

"Mainly just make sure shock doesn't set in. You've dealt with things along that line enough you know what to look for. Wake her up every couple hours, ask her base questions. Ibuprofen should help with pain if she needs anything stronger just call me" Kaycee told Billy who nodded "Thanks for coming. She was dead set against the hospital and you know she's as stubborn as a mule"

Kaycee nodded with a small smile "I'm glad she's ok. I don't have to ask about the guy that hurt her do I?" Billy raised an eyebrow and Kaycee chuckled "Didn't think so. Well next time we should catch up under better circumstances. If she needs anything else just call. I know she's being left in good hands"

Billy showed Kaycee to the door, the men shaking hands before he shut it. He walked back over to his bedroom door and knocked lightly "Y/N?" Your voice drifted to his ears "Come in Billy"

----------

The moment Billy walked into the room your brain slowed the whatifs. He was within arm's reach you were safe. He stopped just inside the door, kicking his shoes off "I'm gonna grab some clothes to change into then crash on the couch after I set alarms to wake you up every couple hours"

You watched him grab clothes similar to what you were wearing before disappearing into the bathroom. After a moment he walked back out and was headed for the door when you stopped him by calling his name "Stay. Please"

He stopped just shy of the door "Where do you want me?" You motioned to his side of the bed that you'd purposely left empty. He smiled and walked over sliding in under the blankets next to you. You let him get comfortable before asking "Will you hold me Billy?"

----------

It hurt his heart hearing you sound so damn uncertain. "C'mere" he said softly so you scooted over laying your head on his chest. His arms encircled you, pulling you closer. The bandage on your right arm scratched his chest a bit but he didn't mind. You were alive, you were here with him.

His fingers trailed across your back, tracing small circles and shapes. When your breathing evened out he assumed you'd fell asleep until you said "The one time you take your hand off me in public" he knew you meant it to lighten the mood but he felt a twinge of guilt at yours words. He'd taken his eyes off of you for just a few minutes. He kissed the top of your head after a moment and said "So now i just have a valid excuse to follow you around"

----------

After another moment you pulled back to look up at him. His eyes were closed, long lashes fanning out. His breathing was even but he was far from asleep. "Billy?" You whispered and got a smile in response before he opened his eyes "Something wrong?"

You shook your head "Thank you for always being there" "I always will be" he replied so quickly your heart jumped.

"I love you Billy" the words slipped from your mouth with no thought to stop them. His smile grew bigger "I love you too" "No Billy I mean..." he stopped you by placing a feather light kiss to your lips "I know what you mean and I mean it too. Now get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning"

Pt 2

[becauseicantthinkwritings]

THIS IS THE UPDATED VERSION OF ALL THE CHELSEAVERSE BILLY-s:

Down bad carnally: (for the Billy's that is down bad with severe Romance and Passion)

TEETH - its the yearning and patience for me. But he's kinda reserved on showing emotions. Need to hold back most of the time due to circumstance (R not knowing what shifters are)

OIM - still yearning and patience. The only difference is he's holding back because of R's trauma with alphas. There's a certain vulnerability between them.

AFOS - this started out rocky for sure. The first time I read this, I honestly thought that he was like that because of the bond. And in a way he is, but I believe it changed. The chapter where they both found out that the bond deepened and the consequences were just *chef's kiss*

ITSOYH - okay...this....took me out, severely underrated of being down bad. He's fighting his inner insecurities and demons AND Thor? Like bro. The power of being down bad is in him.

Down bad psychologically - they're all freaks in here, your honor. (With romance but mostly psychopatic behavior. So kinda canon billy)

AOP

AOD

NOG

ToaPP (they're both down bad for eachother honestly)

Nightfall

Warlock!Billy

Down bad normally: - normal down bad for their partner but ultimately not as strong as the above sections.

MR & MRS. RUSSO

SBBH

BMTMK (he's on thin ice tho, after the shit he pulled)

Fae King!Billy

Werewolf!Billy (he's pretty normal from what i can remember)

Incubus!Billy Russo

God of War!Billy Russo

Forest God!Billy Russo

Pirate!Billy Russo

Mafia! Billy Russo

Not really down bad ....BUT its getting there:

BESTIE AND BILLY

OINTRW

NQE - I am begging you, please let this one end on a happy one.

I gotta add, Forest God Billy might be gone, but he was definitely intended to be in the down bad carnally side of things, he just didn't get that development. He might have been trying to use her to break his curse, but he'd been inserting himself into her life in a lot of ways before she ever met him.

He had beef with her grandma and yet he was giving her magical artifacts to help her find his house and taking her literally everywhere, and sending owls to give her tea to help her sleep.

HOW IS BILLY AND HIS BESTIE NOT DOWN BAD (yeah this is your opinion and you can have that 😂) but Billy didn't- oh wait I see what you mean all they've done so far is fuck like rabbits 😂 the relationship is all in my head 😂😂😂😂

Am I dumb? What is NOG? What am I forgetting?

Also, thank you very much for this analysis, it was sooo good

[punemy-spotted]

WIP Wednesday: GUESS WHAT

It's Wednesday, my students are in the midst of finals, and I get to work from home during a rainstorm. None of these things are related but these things mean things are happening and I'm taking a certain fic off hiatus to update it (hopefully soon, oh my God, please spare me from the Writer's Curse)

Anywaysssss...

She's baaaaaaaaaaackkkkk

If you would like to be tagged in updates, please check out my (new and improved) taglist and sign up! I have also created an archive where just my fics and drabbles will be reblogged (and tagged), over at @punemys-library. It's a little under construction, but we're working on it.

Content Warnings for this Snippet: Gun mention, bullet mention, smoking mention, reference to funerals and gravesites,

Senator Andy Barber’s Chief of Staff keeps a loaded gun in the glove compartment of every car he drives, a force of habit the Senator is probably grateful for right about new, even in absentia. While he pays for the final tank of gas he’ll need to get you both to where you need to go, you open it up and empty the clip, leave the bullets in the cup-holder save for the two you put back. He doesn’t bother questioning the sight of them when he returns, just glances at you briefly and hands you a cup of water, burnt coffee you immediately regret taking a sip of.

You finish it before the car’s back on the highway.

The road ahead is a lonely one, just your car’s headlights there to cut through the snowy gloom, William Russo the only driver half-insane enough to be driving through this particular stretch of the Appalachian trail this late at night with a snowstorm raging all around the both of you.

You never picked up smoking as a habit, really, — too devout then, too late now — but as the suffocating silence settles in alongside the cold in your bones, you can’t help but crave one. Just one, just something to quest the churning anxiety and growing dread in your belly.

You risk a glance to Billy, the pale white of his knuckles deepening as his grip on the wheel shifts, eyes catching yours when he feels the weight of your gaze on him, You getting tired?

Are you?

Exhaustion feels too far away, adrenaline still holding your eyes open, anxious twitches keeping your muscles uncomfortable in the passenger seat, unable to settle down. Even the shake of your head is too cautious to be definitive, watching, waiting. Say nothing.

Not long now, he tells you by way of an attempt at comfort, eyes back on the road, Safe house in a few hours.

Alaska.

Not the state — though you wouldn’t mind, all things considered. The house you pull up to is… nice, if made gloomy in snowy isolation. You almost wonder how a Senator’s newly-hired Chief of Staff even manages to have an isolated “safe house” just on the edge of the US-Canada border, with access to what seemed like a completely unmanned and unlicensed border crossing — and then you decide that question isn’t even top fifty on your list of questions you’ve had about your day.

Days, even. Days full of memories of caskets and graveside services turning into grave danger reminding you why you’re here, pulling up to a wood-and-brick prison rather than your palace of glass and steal.

Domain. Dungeon.

The snow outside is starting to turn into a full-bore blizzard, but the house itself is warm enough to boil your blood, fire crackling in the hearth and Billy handing you a mug of something warm and medically cleared for your consumption, I just got the news — he’s awake, he tells you, taking a seat on the armchair across from you with a glass of whiskey in hand, He’ll want to hear from you, make sure you’re safe.

Safe. The word feels all wrong, especially here. Especially now.

You are not safe, you are not safe, he will find you he will always find you.

[love-hatred-stuff]

mercy

>> a quick warning, my dears: smut, sub!billy, fem!reader, dacryphilia (not really mentioned as a turn on tho, billy just cries the whole time), bondage, sad billy, mean!reader, and probably more, so be aware! MDNI! ty!

>> excuse any mistakes pls!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

„I’m sorry, I’m sorry!!!” Dragging the words out, he sits there –whining your name continuously without you doing anything at all.

“Shut up!” You warn. You’ve lost count on how many times he’s begged for forgiveness today.

You aren’t in the mood for games. You are in the mood to ruin the man in front of you. Too bad because even that, he would enjoy, you knew.

He whimpers and lets his head hang low in hopelessness. You have him bound to the chair inside your living room, hands tied together with cable ties. Because he wanted it like that. He had pleaded for you to do what you wanted to him, to punish him. That was the only thing you would be granting him. For a long, long time.

„I don’t want to hear you anymore. I’m tired of this bullshit, Russo!!“ You have to really control yourself to not go completely feral right now.

He whines again.

„You’re pathetic, Russo! Do you know how much it costs me not to leave you right here, go to sleep and throw you right out the first thing in the morning? Fucking hell, I want to throw you out right fucking now!“ But you don’t. And you don’t know what you see in him that makes you want to forgive him everything in just a split second. But of course, you also don’t do that. Even if you did, you knew, deep down he wouldn’t forgive himself either.

His eyes show you how much he wants to open his mouth to apologize and beg again and you’re more than glad that he chooses not to this time, scared to disobey you once more. Like he didn’t already crossed every line and crashed every wall.

You sigh, massaging your temple with one hand, trying to ease the headache your boyfriend had brought upon you. That’s what he was; pure, consistent headache.

Something had changed in him over the last couple of weeks. He’d always been so sweet and smart and eager to please you. Well, he was still all that but there was something new to his persona. A fire. Like yours. And it was exhausting to keep him in check. Impossible almost. Which was why you’ve grown to be more direct and rough with him. Otherwise he would never listen.

But now. Oh now. It was almost like his switch had been flipped again. His jeans covered legs slightly shaking, his lips trembling, his eyes teary and his face guilty.

„Tell me, Russo; Do you deserve my forgiveness?“ It’s a mean question. You watch how it affects his whole being entirely. Tears pooling at his eyes, threatening to find their path down his cheeks, down his neck. Until they reach his naked chest and dry. He sniffles and you curse his dark hair that hides most of his face in silence. You want to at least see him suffer.

„Answer me. Or do you want to leave right now? You can leave right-“ You bark his way and he’s quicker to respond this time.

„No!“ He cries, trying to hold louder sounds inside. He knows you’re already on edge (where he brought you) so it would be unwise to stretch your patience even more.

You laugh lightly.

„That’s right. And do you know what brats like you get? Also right, absolutely nothing. Do you think I deserve to be treated like this, huh? Tell me Russo! I would like to know!” Tears also gathered in your eyes now, but you blinked them away quickly.

He lifted his head to look at you and the view almost made you choke on your own breath. He looked like a mess.

“You don’t- You don’t deserve to be treated like this. I’m sorry, Y/n-“

“Do not call me by my name!” Your blood was boiling once again. He should know. You had ‘trained’ him better. But the whole situation made his chest grow so tight with anxiety and guilt that he thought whatever was going on here was past any sexual plays. Which it was, but you couldn’t stand it, to be disrespected by him right now.

There he was. Billy Russo, usually the boss of everyone around him. A merciless, ruthful man he was. But when he came home, he wasn’t like that anymore. Though, lately these two big differences seemed to confuse him and mess with his head. Because why else would he go out of his way just to betray your trust? And break almost every last one of the rules you had set.

Now it was on you how to deal with that. Tonight, he finally made you snap. Before, you had tried to handle him more careful because you knew something with work had him spiraling. Something must bother him so much, it makes him want to keep control at home now too, when he looses it a work. And you were very understanding at first. For a start you quit leading him into submission. Because you feared that it would take a toll on his self control and overall demeanor if you didn’t act accordingly.

You had endured many hours of pointless arguments, petty comments, that had sometimes reached your shell and hurt you with a force that you didn’t expect. Not from your boyfriend anyways. You were in utter shock the first time he’d barked back a snarly comment about your past relationships. You hated it but you were sensitive about that topic. Before Billy, you weren’t as careful with who to choose as your partner. They had mistreated you many times. Of course you broke it of with all of them as soon as you felt disrespected.

But he had blamed you for all of it. He said you were too stubborn, too dominant, overall not how his woman was supposed to be. And that had broken your heart. You had tried to swallow it, to keep in mind why he was saying such things. You figured he felt attacked. He was scared you would take his control away, which you’ve done so many times before, with consent from both sides. But you had to accept, he wasn’t your old Billy anymore.

After a particularly hard day at work, Russo had decided to go to a pub. Just to relax a bit and get his mind off of things. Not only his work was exhausting him but also the circumstances at home, with you. He fully knew that everything was his fault, he hated himself for treating you so careless. He could only wish you weren’t gonna leave his ass soon. But he expected it nonetheless. Couldn’t blame you for it.

The night had escalated quickly and while missing all your worried calls, he’d sat there on the leather couch, with numbed senses and a almost naked woman up his neck. He didn’t touch her, but he willingly let himself be touched. Mostly because he was so out of it, he didn’t even know if it was you who’s been grinding on his lap or a stranger that looked like you. However, he was past the stage of feeling anything. He probably fell asleep soon after.

Fact was, that he didn’t remember how he got home. He only remembers your soft hands on him turning harsh the moment he was able to speak again. He figured you had found out where he’d spend his night and were furious. Couldn’t blame you for it.

Which was where you two were now.

He’d started apologizing to you when he got his memory back and went from feeling nothing, to feeling absolutely everything. He was desperate to get you to forgive him. Although he knew that wasn’t likely. In his hazed state he felt like he was gonna lose himself at the thought of losing you. Which was more likely to happen.

——

“I know, I know. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Please, believe me, I didn’t want any of this! I just wanted piece for a while. I didn’t know were else to go. But I’m sorry! It was a mistake! I won’t even think of doing it again, I promise, I promise!” His glossy eyes search for yours.

“You never keep your promises anymore. You’ve become a liar, Russo.” Your alarmingly calm voice flushes his ears.

“I can’t tell anymore if you still love me.”

His heart beat begins to hammer against his chest. He knows he’s not allowed to talk but he can’t leave that statement how it is.

“I do! I love you! I swear- god, Y/n, you don’t even know how much I love you. I never stopped, I swear on everything I have! I’m sorry for everything, I will make it up to you. I’m not a liar!” He cries, his cheeks completely wet.

“Yeah, but maybe I am.” He looks at you, confused.

“Maybe I’m telling myself I can still fix you, get my old Billy back. Because we love each other. But I realize that if only one of us puts in the effort, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.” The way your soft voice dances off the walls of the room makes him shiver. The tears making their way down his chest and ending up wetting his jeans.

“Please- don’t… don’t leave me! I can not do this without you!”

You scoff and take your time walking towards him in a torturously slow and seducing way. The way your hips sway in unison with the steps of your heels while the dress you’re wearing hugs your perfect curves makes him go insane. He will never get over the fact, that you’re his girlfriend. Such a beautiful woman –like you are– shouldn’t even look at his scarred face.

“Oh Billy, how pathetic you are. You know the things you felt comfortable doing aren’t acceptable, don’t you? Is that why you’re crying?” It’s like he’s trying to grasp something that is meant to pull away from him because he doesn’t deserve it.

“Why don’t you do me a favor? Be a good boy and take what I give you, yeah? Enjoy the last time I’ll fuck you into oblivion.” Reality punches his face while he still hopes this is just a dream. A wet dream of his that makes him all brain dead for you, like you always do. It wouldn’t be the first time, and god he wishes he had the right to demand it not to be the last time as well.

The second your fresh breath fans against his neck his mind goes haywire. He would never get used to the way you make him feel, but now, now everything feels so blurred together. Billy sobs and cries and doesn’t stop while slowly remembering how it feels like to be aroused by you. It feels almost forbidden in this moment but you make it clear to him by showing him not only the bitterness in your eyes but also the lust that threatens to shimmer through. In this moment he’s a goner. You bend down unhurriedly and use your hand to lift your dress up to be able to straddle his lap in a sensual manner.

You’re the most inviting, intriguing, exciting, smart, interesting, appealing, desirable and erotic woman he’s ever met in his entire trauma-filled shithole of a life. And to this day he still wonders why the universe would ever bring you into hands. Well, he thought, that time was over now, fair enough.

“Are you gonna be good for me? Do you want me to touch you one last time?” It almost felt forbidden to feel so utterly turned on by you in this situation, but Billy couldn’t help it. You have that effect on him, always had. But you aren’t doing this for him, you’d allowed yourself to be selfish this once. So you had decided you needed this before never having it again, you could only guess how miserable your sex life would be after Russo.

Billy nods frantically, but isn’t able to stop his heaving chest because of the sobs that are rocking through his body, regardless of the lewdness the situation brought. To be honest here, he’d been sporting a boner since you’ve tied him to this chair.

“Use your words. Or I remove myself quicker than you can beg me for more.” You threatened and the coldness of your dark eyes meets the desperation in his. Renewed panic settles in his mind, quickly thinking of something to say.

“No! I mean- yes, I want this- you… I want you! So much it hurts, Y/n.” He fights against the ropes, wanting to finally touch you again. He hasn’t been allowed to for weeks. You always knew you would grant him every wish that fell from his lips once he made you his wife, but you still weren’t and you couldn’t stand him disrespecting you any longer. The last thing you would be for him was a woman with no self esteem and dominance to stand up for herself and he knew that very well, too.

You tut at him. “No saying my name, Billy. I don’t want to hear anything from this point on actually.” You began undoing his belt before unbuttoning his jeans with your tender fingers that he wishes were already up to squeeze his throat. “I won’t show mercy this time. I don’t care if you beg or cry or mewl. If it’s too much, you know your safe word. Other than that, I don’t want to hear a word from you, is that clear?” You’re done undressing him.

Billy nods, feeling you push your panties to the side before already brushing your entrance against his hard cock. He swallows a moan. Oh, there’s no mercy left in you, is there? The question is answered when he feels himself being pushed inside your warmth without warning. Your hands roam his chest before find his neck to roughly press on. You come closer and moan against his ear. Billy almost suffocates, the overwhelming feeling of your body pressed against him –while knowing he will never have that again– gets too much to bare and he begins to cry once again.

You set an unforgiving pace, rocking up and down relentlessly. It gives your satisfaction, knowing he can’t help but cry out for you because his biggest fear is about to come true. He will lose you. And you wish you didn’t care as much as you did but the silent tears falling down your cheeks betray you.

While feeling your high come closer any second it gets harder watching him go insane under you. Billy was the man you always hoped to marry and now, he was sitting here, at your mercy, breaking because he was so overwhelmed by everything you made him feel at once.

“Billy, it’s okay.” You hold onto his shoulders, finding a new sense of strength.

You chase your orgasm while hoping he will cum before you do, not granting him any other friction than this one. But you know it was gonna be enough when you hear his breath quickening, his dick twitching and his eyes glistening with tears, pleadingly looking up at you.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

masterlist

feedback is always welcome!!

[rosegolqen]

Mors Vincit Omnia

billy russo x reader (au)

warnings: blood, gore, slight torture, mention of being someone’s pet (not in the kinky way)

words: 2.226

i. oculus

Billy Russo was after a man. That wasn’t new. Lately, he has been after many men on Rawlins’s orders. The Irish. The Russians. Even American people who just knew too much. Billy couldn’t send one of his men. It was too risky and he was just so tired. Tired of putting up with Agent Orange’s shit and business. Tired of doing the man’s dirty laundry. He wanted peace and quiet. He wanted to lay his head on his silky pillows in his penthouse and sleep and just never wake up.

It’s okay. He could put up with this shit. He could do it. Rawlins helped Billy start his company, without him Billy would probably be…let’s not think about that. It’s a fair trade. Billy could deal with this if it meant having his status, power, money and all the beautiful women New York had to offer.

Now, having a Russian-to-English translator would help Billy get his job done a lot quicker. He couldn’t understand a word from the man blabbering in front of him. After this was done, he would call up whatever beauty from his contacts and get lost in her pretty thighs and just forget about tonight. Focus, Billy. Get the information then you can think about pretty thighs.

“Honestly man, you’re boring me. Tell me what I want and we can do this the easy way.” His voice was still soft— as soft as it could get— and calm. His head was on fire. The headache slowly started to spread across his eyes. Billy didn’t want to raise his voice tonight, but if that was the only way he could get the location of the big drug delivery coming in from Russia then he would have to.

He waved his favourite gun in front of the Russian man, who was tied to a chair. They were in an abandoned and dirty warehouse by the docks. All Billy needed was the time and date of the delivery so that Rawlins’s men could take care of it and he would be done for the night. “Last chance before I make this hurt, Kolya. I know that you can speak English.”

Billy leaned in close to the man, taking in Kolya’s disgusting appearance. Billy hit him a few times in the face, the bruises already filling in with the colour of a beautiful sunset. The blood on the man’s face was slowly drying and that meant Billy was doing a horrendous job of getting what he wanted from the Russian. He should stop talking and take action.

Billy butted his gun against Kolya’s temple. The thin skin on his head cracked the ruby shade of blood ran down the man’s aging epidermis as he wheezed out a Russian curse word. Billy clicked his tongue, voice getting louder and heavier, “That’s not the answer I want to hear!” He roughly grabbed Kolya’s greasy hair and yanked his head back. Billy’s dark eyes met the Russian’s fearful ones.

“Come on. Tell me.” His voice dropped, “Or I will take my favourite knife that I sharpened this morning and you will lose an eye.” Billy took the army knife from his boot, the blade glinting in the dark as he pointed it towards Kolya. “Left one or the right one? You choose.”

The sharp point of the knife neared the Russian’s right eye, almost, almost touching the soft black surface of his pupil. Just a few millimeters then Kolya would lose his sight in his right eye. “Please…” He muttered, tears escaping him as the adrenaline finally left his system and he realized that tonight he could truly die.

“No. You are a smart man. Rich. Have friends in high places,” Billy tilted his head, he knew Kolya was nearing his end. He was going to give Billy the information he wanted. “You give me what I want and you can have your life back!” Billy nearly shouted. Just a little bit more force before the Russian would break.

“I need his eyes.”

Billy’s gaze snapped away from Kolya. He quickly straightened up, gun in his right hand and his knife in his left. His stance took up a defensive position. The voice came from the shadows of the corner but he couldn’t pinpoint which one exactly. “Who are you?!” He turned to the man bound in the chair, “Who is that? Hmm?!”

“I don’t know!” Kolya shut his eyes, head shaking and bowed in unawareness.

“You can have him all to yourself. I just need some things from him myself before you kill him.” The feminine voice set Billy in rage. This must be one of Kolya’s tricks. He somehow contacted someone to come for him and save him. Must be. Even though the words from the woman told him a different story, Billy wouldn’t take chances. “Right? You wouldn’t let him walk away, he saw your face.”

“Come out wherever you are and I can show you exactly what I’m capable of!”

Her laugh echoed in the warehouse and it made Billy break out in a shiver, his body reacting to danger even though his mind couldn’t feel it. The chuckle turned into a cruel snicker. “Don’t worry, I saw the whole thing. Pathetic, really.”

God, he didn’t notice someone was watching him the whole time? He was getting sloppy. Too sloppy for being Billy fucking Russo. He needed to get his shit together. Get the information from the Russian. Kill him. Then deal with this woman. Scratch that. Deal with her first. Then everything else.

“We want the same thing, you and me. Him gone. I can help you get what you want if you let me have a little fun with Nikolai first.” She sounded like she was moving, yet he couldn’t hear her footsteps. Her voice still echoed in the warehouse but it sounded like she was getting nearer.

He turned his body to where the sound of her voice came from. He hoped he was in the right direction otherwise that would be embarrassing. “What is it that you want from him exactly?”

“Information. Like you.” Billy saw her silhouette before her voice became more clear. Knives were strapped to her thighs. A gun at her hip. Some kind of black bodysuit covered her from neck to toe. Strong and sturdy black boots that had no sound when she walked on the ground. Or she was just that good. Billy guessed the latter. Voice just as cold as her expression she said, “And his eyes.”

With every step, she came closer to him and Kolya and Billy continued to point his gun at her forehead. If she tried anything, or moved too fast, he would shoot her without a thought, “What kind of information?”

“That’s personal.” She was close. Closer than Billy should have let her come. The barrel of his gun almost touched her forehead. He couldn’t see the lower half of her face, the black cloth covered her nose, mouth and jaw. He wondered how she could breathe with it on. Focus.

“Anastasiya.” Kolya’s stutter with a heavy Russian accent drew Billy’s gaze to the man. He looked…frightened. He looked more petrified now than when Billy was questioning him. Interesting. They knew each other. Billy looked at the woman in front of him but her cold eyes were on Kolya. This Anastasiya woman’s interest focused wholly on the man in the chair. Billy was forgotten. “Your master has been searching for you.” The words fell from the Russian’s lips in a whisper but Billy could hear it clearly.

The assassin-looking woman moved in an instant, kicking Kolya in the chest and toppling his chair to the ground. He moaned out another curse as he spit red on the concrete ground. “I’ve come to collect, Nikolai.” Her whisper was just as deadly as her moves. Billy recognized it instantly. She knew battle and war, she wasn’t a stranger to it like he thought she was.

“Now, tell the man what he wants to know so you and I can catch up, hmm?” She crouched down beside him, taking a knife from its holster on her left thigh.

Billy lowered his gun. She was definitely not here to save Kolya. Good. Still, he gripped his army knife hard in his hand, knuckles turning a ghostly shade of white.

Seconds ticked by, yet Kolya didn’t utter a word. The woman tilted her head, some hair escaping the bun on the nape of her neck. She was getting restless and agitated. Billy could tell by the way her breathing became heavy and fast. He heard Kolya’s scream before he saw her blade embedded in the man’s shoulder. His own injury even though healed, started to throb.

Billy should get a chair and start watching the show and the way she worked. Or he should just shoot her in the head and be done with it. This woman saw his face. He was a public person. She could tell anyone— not that it would be believable that Billy fucking Russo was a murderer. Still, he should keep his image up and his name in the public clean. Just a few more minutes then he would end this. End her. She was a good entertainment for the night but he needed to get what he came for.

Kolya’s whimper made Billy snap out of his thoughts. He saw the woman twist the knife into the Russian man’s shoulder. She murmured something to him yet Billy couldn’t understand what they were talking about. Ah. She spoke Russian, of course. Well, that made this easier.

She dug the blade deeper, slicing tendons and muscle in Kolya’s shoulder. Blood poured from the wound, staining the grey and cold concrete floor. The puddle reached her boots, but she didn’t make a move only leaning closer to the man on the floor and whispered in his ear.

“A week from now on at midnight!”

That was fast. Billy didn’t want to know what threat exactly caused the man to break but he was too curious for his good. “What did you threaten him with?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“No, I really do.” Billy took a few light steps towards the pair. Kolya cried out in pain as the woman oh so slowly dragged the blade from his shoulder. Billy didn’t understand a word from their conversation yet he knew she said something gruesome and terrifying to the man. Why was he still here, though? Asking this woman named Anastasiya questions? He got what he wanted. A week from today at midnight. Billy would find out who she was. He already knew a few things about her. A name. The fact that she knew how to speak Russian. He found men with less information before.

Billy crouched down on the other side of Kolya’s head, opposite from the woman. The Russian man was about to pass out from the pain as he slowly uttered the words in English, “Your master will be delighted to know you are in New York again.”

Her master? Billy wouldn’t imagine someone having control over this woman. But her visible eyes betrayed her as she stabbed Kolya in the shoulder again. The brown of her iris glazed over, getting lost in her thoughts. This would be the perfect opportunity to kill her, Billy thought.

She was distracted but he didn’t move just observed her. “Too sad you won’t be able to tell him his favourite pet is in town.” She pulled the knife from his shoulder and rammed it into his forehead.

Billy opened his mouth to say something but he didn’t. The number of questions in his mind was overflowing. Who was she? Why is she here in New York? What master? Why was Kolya specifically important to her? Why? Why, why, why?

The woman let out a breath as she pulled the blade free from Kolya’s forehead. Ruby blood poured from the hole in his head. This was messy. Way too messy for Billy’s taste. But what surprised him more was when she pulled a black cloth bag from one of her pockets and slowly started to slice Kolya’s head from his shoulders.

She was crazy.

Billy stood up from his crouching position before any drop of blood could touch his expensive outfit. He liked the shirt he was wearing today. “Is that necessary?” His lips curled back. A hundred more questions popped into his head. Why was she doing this? Who is she after? Why?

“You got what you wanted. Go.” Her voice was cold. Colder than before as a few trickles of blood touched the pale skin on her forehead. Billy wanted to see her face. Her eyes didn’t give her away like before. He wanted to know what was going through her head.

She got her agenda and he got his. He should go and let her clean up this mess.

Kolya’s head was successfully detached from his body. Her knife was so sharp it cut through the section of his spine that connected his head to the rest of his body. Her hands were covered in black leather gloves as she put the Russian man’s head in the bag. Billy will be dreaming about tonight’s events for a while, he knew.

“I told you I needed his eyes.”

[lupinsversion]

𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐨 - 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞

• summary: reader has been struggling to keep her feelings to herself, so what’s a better way to ignore them than to push away her best friend who is the source of these feelings?

• a/n: enjoy part one, part two will be out on 10/14

• contains: billy russo x fem reader, best friend trope, partying, drinking, angst

• word count: 1.7k

masterlist || requests || part two

She was in a predicament. The pair had been friends for what felt like forever, and recently she had started to realize something: she was falling for him. She knew it was foolish, knew that the odds of him returning her feelings were slim to none, but she couldn’t help it. The way he smiled, the sound of his laugh, the way he always knew just what to say to make her day better - it all sent her heart into a flutter.

The problem was, she was terrified of losing him. Billy meant so much to her, more than he could ever possibly know. She feared that if she acted on her feelings, she would ruin their friendship irreparably. So, she tried to bury her feelings, to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat every time he touched her, to act as if everything was normal.

Saturday night was party night. Friends gathered in Frank’s house, music blasting, drinks flowing. She was there too, standing off to the side with a beer in hand, watching as people danced, talked, laughed. Her eyes kept straying towards one person in particular, a certain tall, dark-haired man who was laughing heartily at some joke. Billy Russo.

Billy was in a good mood. The party was lively, full of his favorite people. He’d been mingling, chatting, and laughing like the social butterfly he was. However, his eyes would occasionally flicker towards a specific person, a woman with the most striking features who was standing slightly apart from the group, a beer clutched in her hand. Her.

The one time their eyes met, she cut it short by taking a long swig from the glass bottle. She cursed herself for choosing a lame beer instead of something stronger, she definitely needed something stronger.

Walking over to the kitchen island cluttered in various bottles of different shapes and sizes, she chose the latter and grabbed some tequila, pouring it into a new red solo cup. A piece of her hair fell into her face during the act, causing her to stubbornly huff and attempt to blow it out of the way.

She set the bottle down with a decently loud thud, though the sound was covered by the music that blasted through the speakers. She picked up the red solo cup in one hand whilst the other tapped her fingertips against the marble countertop. With a swift movement, she took a decent amount of tequila into her mouth, humming from the burning sensation it left in her throat

“Trying to drown something there?”

His voice, smooth and deep, suddenly appeared right next to her, causing her to jump slightly. She didn’t hear him approach, and there he was, leaning against the countertop, a half-smirk playing on his lips.

“Yeah, my sanity.” She grumbled, placing the solo cup back down onto the counter, her hand remaining around it as she stared at the contents as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.

He let out a soft chuckle, watching her intently. He could tell there was something going on with her, something more than just the typical party boredom. He studied her profile, the way her hair fell into her face before she impatiently blew a strand out of the way again.

His gaze flicked to her hair, noting how it stubbornly fell into her face twice now, almost as if it was trying to get in the way. Watching her blow it back again made him let out an amused scoff.

“You know hair ties are a thing, right?“ He teased lightly, still watching her carefully, noting the way she seemed to be avoiding looking at him directly.

“I don’t have one.” She murmured as she finally looked up at him.

He quirked an eyebrow in response, a small smirk playing on his lips. “I refuse to believe that a woman with hair like yours doesn’t have even one hair tie.“ He teased once more, his eyes still studying her features as his arms crossed over his chest.

“Plans went astray, didn’t think I would be needing one.” She shrugged, running her finger along the edge of her cup.

He hummed in response, the sound low and deep, almost like a rumble in his chest. His eyes flicked down to her finger tracing the edge of her new cup, then back up to her face.

“Well, lucky for you, I always come prepared.” He drawled out, his smirk growing as he gently lifted up his wrist, showing off the elastic hair tie he had around it.

Her eyes narrowed at the sight of it. “Where on earth did you get that?” It wasn’t a usual sight, or a sight at all really, for Billy to be having a hair tie.

He looked down at the hair tie, a cheeky smile tugging at the corner of his lips, knowing he would get a reaction from her.

“This little thing?“ He said in a faux innocent tone, “Found it a while back, just been holding onto it in case someone needed it.“ He looked back up at her, his smile still present as he held his wrist, the hair tie looped around it, out to her.

“No, thanks.” She said softly, running a hand through her hair to brush some strands out of her face. “I’m not one to wear another woman’s hair tie.”

His eyes narrowed slightly as she refused his offer, his smirk faltering a little, replaced by something else, a different kind of gleam in his gaze. “Who said it was another woman's?“ He retorted, lifting an eyebrow in question, his tone now carrying a hint of curiosity mixed with some kind of challenge.

“It definitely isn’t yours.” She shot back before taking another sip from her drink. She knew that much was true, Billy would never be caught dead tying his hair up.

His lips twitched in a small, almost mocking smile, his arms still crossed over his chest as he looked down at her, his eyes holding her gaze. “Maybe I’m just hiding my secret feminine side.” He drawled, his tone sarcastic but with a hint of playfulness behind it.

“I don’t need your help.” She stated kindly before refilling her drink once it ran empty. She couldn’t be this close to him, not right now, and definitely not sober. “Just go back to joining the party, William.”

He watched as she refilled her drink, his gaze flickering up to her face again, his expression turning more serious as she dismissed him, his name coming out of her lips in a tone that he wasn't used to hearing.

He pushed himself off the counter, standing up straight, his eyes still fixed on her as he moved a little closer, his voice dropping to a quieter volume.

“What’s bothering you?“ He asked gently, his tone softer than before, his eyes searching her face for any sign of an answer.

“Nothing is bothering me.” She shrugged his words off. Everything was wrong, she was growing bothered with every second his cologne filled her senses. “I’m just not in the mood for company.” Yeah, that was a good excuse she thought. Dumbass.

He let out a scoff at her words, unbelieving of her attempt to brush him off with such a piss poor excuse. He knew her better than that. And he wasn’t about to let her get away with it so easily. He leaned in closer, invading her personal space, his head tilting slightly as he studied her face, trying to figure out what was really going on. “Bullshit.“ He said simply, his tone holding a bit of an edge to it, clearly not buying her excuse.

“Bullshit.” She repeated. “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.” She continued with a bit of an attitude that she hadn’t meant to have. “Just go.”

He watched her repeat the word, each time with more heat in her tone, his lips pressing together into a tight line as his eyes darkened slightly. He leaned in even closer, his body practically pressed against hers now, pinning her against the counter, his arms now resting on either side of her, trapping her in place.

He was close enough that he could see the subtle shift in her eyes, the way her features tightened as she tried to mask whatever was going on. He could practically smell the tension and something else… frustration?

She hated the way his chest felt against her back, but loved it so much she didn’t want it to go away. ‘We’re just best friends, that’s all’, she kept repeating to herself. Her fists clenched and unclenched against the counter. “Can you back up? I don’t want you touching me.”

His jaw clenched slightly at her words. It was clear she was trying to put up a front, trying to put some distance between them. But he wasn’t about to just back off so easily.

He leaned in even closer, his chest now fully pressed against her back, his breath warm against her ear. “I don’t think you mean that.“ He said lowly, his voice smooth and deep, the sound sending a shiver down her spine despite the way she tensed up in response to his proximity.

“Damnit, William!” Her frustration poured out in her words as she forcefully moved his arm away from her so she was able to escape. “I don’t want to be around you tonight, okay?”

He let her move his arm, though his hands gripped the counter tighter, his knuckles turning white as he clenched his jaw. He was annoyed, frustrated at her for pushing him away, and her words only made his irritation grow. “What the hell is your problem?” He snapped back, his voice rising as he turned to face her, his eyes narrowing as he looked down at her. “You’ve been avoiding me all night, then when I try to talk to you, you blow me off?”

She huffed, closing her eyes for a second. “Just leave me alone. It’s better.” And then she turned on her heel, pushing through the bodies of the other party goers.

He watched as she walked away, his expression a mix of anger and confusion.

"Better for who!?" He called out after her, his voice loud enough to be heard over the music and chatter of the others. He wanted to go after her, to make her explain herself, but he knew she wouldn't talk even if he did try.

He let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through his hair in frustration. This wasn't over, not by a long shot.

© lupinsversion 2024

[petertingle-yipyip]

WORLD CLASS SINNER - FRANK CASTLE

ten - is it over now?

tags: n/a // nine // finale // masterlist

Pairing: frank x livia, billy x livia

Word Count: 11, 189

Summary: A long time coming, one fight comes to a bloody conclusion. Another lurks in the near future, and the connection between two friends and two lover is severed.

You weren’t supposed to be in the room, so you weren’t. You weren’t supposed to linger by the door and eavesdrop, so you didn’t. You were involved in the situation after all.

Highly involved.

And not just as FBI, protecting a civilian reporter from a terrorist during an active investigation, but as an agent that let Frank Castle get away.  That sided with Frank Castle.

You may not have been in the room, but you heard it all. You managed to get a surveillance piece onto Brett’s jacket so once you flipped your implant, it was as good as being in the room with them.

They talked about Lewis’ attempt at Anvil, Billy’s denial and your consultation. You almost cursed at the connection, but at least you weren’t on the payroll for Anvil anymore. It did show that you and Billy had a relationship outside of the company, but should he and Anvil go down for Sam Stein, you wouldn’t be connected to him. Only connected to Dinah.

The word negligence was thrown around and you almost laughed. It reminded you of how Billy shoved his own team into your line of fire to save himself. A pathetic excuse of a man, cloaked by his confidence and good looks. You were glad you saw who he truly was but that didn’t make it sting any less. Not hurt, per say, just sting.

Brett interviewed Ori and then Karen, and you pretty much knew how those interviews would go so you didn’t care to listen. Dinah next, and you last.

“Best for last, huh?” You joked as you sat on the couch, running hands over your pant leg. There was no blood beside the dried remnants from the prior chaos, but they still felt soaked. Dripping, ready to stain whatever you touched. 

“Who’s story you hoping I corroborate?”

“None.” He shrugged. “I just wanna know yours.”

“Castle wasn’t working with Lewis.” You said plainly. “Everyone’s throwing the allegation but it’s not true. Lewis was a guy who was misguided by a fraud to the point that he radicalized the Punsiher’s ideology.”

“Seemed pretty radical on its own.”

“Consequence?” You brows raised. “Castle didn’t hurt random people. It was intentful. It was specified. He killed drug dealers and rapists and murderers.”

“Guess after defending him in court you’re bound to take his side.”

“You’re saying I have a bias.” You pointed out. “I was here at my bureau’s direction. Nothing was about Castle from my end.”

“So the FBI doesn’t want Castle?”

“I wasn’t dispatched for Castle. My team and I were sent to apprehend Lewis.”

“So why do my officers tell me you and Billy Russo were pointing guns at each other?”

“He shot at me first.” You shrugged. The shot was meant for Frank in all actuality, but at that point, it was all the same. “Interfering with a federal investigation. Attempted assault of a federal agent. Aggravated assault against Castle. Should I go on?”

“You’re making me wish I was dealing with Murdock again.” He huffed. “Even Nelson and the cigars he would buy my mom.”

“Yeah, they’re a lot nicer.” You agreed.

“Not even that… Just less combative.”

You shrugged. It was all the same at that point.

“You fired your weapon, Livia.” He sighed.

“Yeah.”

“Then took off with Castle.”

“Mhmm.”

“Why?”

“Cause he was helping me get to Karen.” You said honestly. “We saw Lewis take her and I knew Frank wasn’t going to hurt me. Wouldn’t let anyone else hurt me either.”

“Why are you so convinced he’s innocent? You want me to see a bigger picture here. Paint it for me.”

“You worked the Castle case first time around. You, on some level, know him. You don’t think he’s a terrorist anymore than I do, but the question now Brett, is whether anyone is going give someone a chance to prove that before they put a bullet in him?”

“You’re insane, you know that?”

“Yeah.” You laughed a little before you turned to leave. “So I’ve been told.”

“We’re not done.” He said, though there was no effort to stop you.

“I’ve got my own team to catch up with and an SAC to debrief. You know where to find me.”

You found Dinah and Karen talking down the hall so you walked up to them with a small smile for greeting.

“You two have a connection, I know that.” Dinah looked over at you. “So do you… If you know where he is or how to contact him, please.”

“Micro reached out to you, didn’t he?” You said quietly as you realized something. “You said a name in the stairwell.”

She nodded slightly before facing Karen again.

“I’m the best chance he’s got.” She urged.

“I’d beg to differ.” Karen looked at you and you gave a small nod before she took Dinah’s card. “He’s not what they say he is… Saved my life, again.”

You excused yourself at that point because Dex had made his way up, along with the other two from your team. They were in rough shape but definitely better than you. You could feel the bruises across your torso growing but EMS had removed the shrapnel. Your forehead was cleaned and bandaged, you having refused the stitches. 

Your SAC thoroughly chewed you out at debrief. She scolded you for abandoning your team, disabling comms, and ultimately going rogue. She said you should’ve eliminated Lewis at the beginning, before the hostage situation, then taken Castle into custody. She yelled that Billy Russo never should’ve been a player in the game. When you tried to reason that Billy had his fair part in it, she didn’t want to hear it.

You didn’t care enough to manipulate her either so you just let her talk.

Dex stepped in and backed you on siding with Castle. He said that since you knew Castle, you knew whether or not he was an asset or a threat in that situation. He even said that more people would’ve died if you tried to fight Castle.

“Wanna tell me what your plan is?” Dex asked once you two were out of your SAC’s office.

“Partner with Madani from Homeland.” You began. “Find Castle. Go after Russo.”

“What’s your deal with Russo anyway?”

“He killed a Homeland agent and a military colonel, both that I witnessed. He shot at me, obstructed a federal operation. I want to go after him, Dex.”

“So it’s personal. You’re gonna risk your career on a vendetta?”

“Exactly, my career.” You agreed. “You’re not gonna talk me out of it.”

“Alright.” He nodded. “How do we do it then?”

“We don’t do anything.” You shook your head. “Madani and I will build a case and I’ll let her bureau do the rest.”

“C’mon, Aly. That’s it?”

“He killed one of theirs.” You shrugged. “What else am I supposed to do?”

“If you need my help with any of this, you call me. Got it?”

You nodded with a grateful smile before you hurried out the building. You practically ran to your car and sped across town to the compound, thanking Matt’s God for every green light.

When you got in, you found both men in the poorly lit bathroom. Shrapnel bits were littered in the sink and Frank’s shirt was torn in pieces on the floor. Lieberman moved to try and stitch the gunshot line on Frank’s temple but he jerked away. You went over and took the supplies from Lieberman’s hands, easily switching places. Lieberman wished you luck, said Frank won’t talk, and patted your back before he left.

You said nothing as you cleaned up the blood on the side of Frank’s head. A million questions lingered in the air yet neither of you dared to voice them. Saying it out loud made it real, and despite you both seeing it with your own eyes, some part wanted to deny it.

“I’m sorry.” You finally said, focusing on your stitching instead of Frank’s stare reflecting off the shattered mirror. “About Billy.”

“You knew he was dirty?” He said lowly, angrily. “That what you were trynna tell me, hmm?”

“I knew he was working with Rawlins, yeah. I wanted proof but I was holding out, hoping he was doing what I was doing. Playing both sides, looking out for you, y’know? … I was wrong.”

“How long have you known?”

“I never trusted his involvement to begin with. But I didn’t know until after he started airing the radio call. We went to that CIA safe house you found Rawlins at. I met the guy and pretty much called him out.”

You dared to look at his expression and saw a blank canvas.

“It was just before Bennett. He was there, part of my way in was being on his team, and he didn’t stop me from helping you so I guess I figured…” You shrugged, sighing heavily before you broke the thread. “It’s my fault this happened.”

“What?” He turned to you. “What are you talking about?”

“This.” You gestured to the gunshot. “I let my feelings intervene again and someone else got hurt.”

“Feelings? Livia, what do you mean, feelings? You think you having a crush on Russo changed anything?”

You were quiet.

“You said he was dirty the whole time, so you sleeping with him or going out with him, it wouldn’t have changed anything! No, Bill… He made his choice, okay? And it’s got nothing, nothing, to do with you.”

“I should’ve led him away.” You said instead. “I should’ve smokescreened and left him in the dark like Dinah was.”

He scoffed at her name.

“I know he went behind your back going to Dinah, but he just wants to get back to his family.” You tried to defend. “Cut him some slack… I was probably gonna slip Dinah some information to get her on Rawlins’ tail soon anyway.”

“What are you gonna do now?” He asked instead.

“After cleaning you up?” You tried to joke while you moved his arm to see the gashes left from the shrapnel. “Partner with Dinah. Pretend to look for you. Go after Russo.” You rattled off the items on your mental list.

“What about the FBI?”

You shrugged. “My partner knows what I want. He’s got my back if I need him.”

“Sure you can trust this one?”

“Nope… But I’ve taken bigger gambles before. No one believed I should’ve defended the Punisher in court and he turned out to be a good guy.”

He snorted slightly.

“Madani’s gonna wanna do it the right way.” He commented, an off-handed remark that was meant as a question.

“I know.” You answered honestly.

“Do you?”

“I'm not looking for revenge. I’m looking to win. As long as he goes down, for now I don’t care how.”

You two didn’t talk about it after that. You cleaned and dressed the rest of his wounds. He offered to return the favor for your forehead but you assured him your body was already taking care of it, utilizing the heat that lived under your skin to weld yourself back together. You didn’t stay much longer either.

After you got home, Dinah called and asked for you to come to her office the next day. She assured you she had a plan and she would explain in person. Since you had no ideas on where to start, you agreed.

“Did you see the news?” She asked when you shut her office door behind yourself.

“About the hotel?”

“Billy’s interview.” She clarified.

“Oh… Not much.”

“He doesn’t get to pretend he’s a hero here.”

“Okay. So what’s the plan?”

“Well, you and I both know he killed Stein.” She began, a haunted look in her eyes.

“During a blacked-out sting attempt.” You specified. “Aren’t you worried about that at all?”

“Rafi already knows.”

You made a face at the name since you weren’t exactly sure who that was but said nothing as she continued.

“What you and I need is to get him to admit it. Or even admit just being there.”

“How do we do that? Billy’s gonna be expecting both of us to come after him.”

“Not together.”

“Probably together. He knew I’ve been talking to you about everything lately. Both of us had guns on him at the hotel. It’d be more surprising if we didn’t team up.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She said tightly, a controlled outburst. “Are you going to help me or not?”

“That’s why I’m here.” You nodded. “Even if he admits it, how do we-“

Your question was cut short when another agent stepped in and said “He’s on his way up.”

“Who’s he, Dinah?” You asked, moderately annoyed since you already knew the answer.

She simply gathered her paperwork and gestured for you to follow her. You let out a long, silent sigh as you obliged. As you went down the hall, you could feel it coming up the elevator.

Confidence, bordering on arrogance.

Billy.

“When this inevitably goes sideways, step aside and let me handle it.” You said once you two were alone in the conference room, seconds ticking down till Billy’s arrival.

“Listen, just because you have some undisclosed skills doesn’t give you any authority here. You are in my department.”

“I know.” You nodded.

“This is my investigation. You don’t get to tell me how it’ll go.”

“That’s not what that was.” You shrugged. “But this is. He’s gonna come in here and it’ll seem like you’re in control until he flips it on you and suddenly, you’re playing his game. At that point, there’s three choices. One, you walk away with your tail between your legs and he thinks he’s won, which he would have. Two, you miraculously keep your composure and work your way through it. Or three, the most likely, I take over and worst case scenario, it’s a stalemate.”

“You don’t ge-“

“You came to me for help.” You cut in as light knocks sounded. “Remember that.”

Billy was ushered in and his eyes met yours first. It was as if he was looking for you. You simply gestured to the other side of the table while Dinah opened with pleasantries and moved to the camera.

“Lawyers are for the guilty.” Billy said, a pointed glance at you.

You rolled your eyes and reached behind Dinah to press the record button.

“Special Agent Yersova with the FBI, assisting with today’s interview.” You continued to rattle off the date and time before Dinah did her introduction. “State your name for the record, last name first.”

“Russo, William.” Billy said flatly, not making any effort to hide his annoyance.

“Mr. Russo, laid out before you are several photos from a recent crime scene.” You began as Dinah laid out the pictures. “Please examine them carefully and let us know if anything looks familiar.”

“Are you gonna Mirandaize me, Agent Yersova?” He deflected instead, using your name mockingly.

“No need.” Dinah answered. “Unless I decide to arrest you. We’re just talking.”

You didn’t miss the emphasis she put on it being her choice.

“Why am I here, Dinah?”

Dinah placed a photo of Stein on the table. Covered in his own blood, blood that was also on your hands. You rubbed your hands in the side of your legs when they suddenly felt warm and wet.

“Because you’re a murderer who’s gonna pay for the lives you took.”

A faint blue trail followed her fingers, hovered over the photo.

“Agent.” You said in quiet warning to which she shrugged you off.

“The only reason I was there that day was you.” Billy answered after a few seconds of him silently looking at the picture. Whether he was fabricating his story or simply digesting the empty look in Stein’s eyes - eyes you had watched the light fade out of - you couldn’t tell. “I was there to take you home. I remember going back to your place, cleaning you up, holding you all night in the same bed that you and I had repeated sexual encounters.”

“Did you and Frank Castle conduct illegal covert operations in Kandahar?” She asked instead.

“What the hell?” You muttered and dropped your forehead to your hand.

“I’m sure you’ve perused my service record. Does it indicate that I was in Kandahar?” He countered. “Here’s what I think happened. I think you’re pissed that Frank Castle got away from you. Agent Yersova made sure of that, didn’t she?”

The mention of your name made you lift your head and he offered your a quick smirk, leaving as fast as it came on.

“But you’re looking to blame me so you sent your guys to come down to pick me up. But now you’re realizing that maybe that wasn’t such a smart move.”

“Make your choice.” You told her quietly, nodding slightly towards Billy to say that it was the moment you had predicted.

“Now if this was official,” Billy continued and you could practically see the gears turning in Dinah’s head. “You wouldn’t be sitting there alone.”

“She’s not alone, Mr. Russo.” You spoke up, making the decision for her. “I’d like to circle back to something if you don’t mind.”

Billy turned to you with an amused expression and gestured for you to continue.

“You mentioned sexual encounters with Agent Madani.” You began.

“What are you doing?” She asked tightly but you ignored her, refusing to break eye contact with Billy.

There was a challenge in his expression as well as yours. Neither of you would back down.

“Yes. Don’t worry, I was getting to you and I as well.” Billy replied. “And this whole thing.” He made a vague gesture to the table and between you two. “Calling you agent, kinda hot.”

“Do you have some proof of you recently being at either of our residences for any extended periods of time?”

“Meaning?”

“Cell tower pings, location tags, GPS directions. Anything like that.”

“Most likely.”

“Great, and can you provide any specific dates?”

He scoffed lightly.

“Along with that, do you have proof of what occurred during these alleged encounters?”

“Proof?” His brows raised.

“Photos, videos, explicit text messages, audio recordings.”

“You wanna know if I made a tape?” He chuckled in disbelief.

“I want to know if you can back your allegations with evidence, should anything escalate.” You countered firmly. “Can you?”

“I don’t have pictures or videos.” He spat back in annoyance.

“Audio?”

“No.”

“Texts?”

“Doubtful. You’re very careful.”

You hummed slightly and he rolled his eyes, knowing you had beat him on that.

“Then your allegations are baseless and therefore irrelevant.” You smirked with a shrug.

Dinah pushed herself up and shut off the camera. You sat back in your seat and folded your hands over your stomach, swiveling slightly side to side. Billy was still looking at you, an almost proud expression on his face that you didn’t acknowledge.

“You’re gonna tell me this room isn’t bugged?” Billy asked after a small stint of silence. “Can never be too careful.”

“Funny you mention that.” You offered a sarcastic expression. 

“I’ve got an offer for you, best and final.” Dinah said quickly and you spun in your chair to face her. Your brows were raised with an expectant expression. “I’ll guarantee leniency if you give me the executioners, the tortures, everything. And when I say everything, I need William Rawlins.”

You turned enough to see Billy’s reaction.

“You didn’t know I had Rawlins’ name.” Dinah bragged and again, Billy looked to you.

“Wasn’t me.” You shrugged. “Some NSA ghost story came around.”

“You killed Sam Stein.” Dinah continued. Her rage was filling the room, pushing out the air and threatening to choke you. It was more than justice for her, though she’d never admit it. 

It was revenge. It was consequence. It was right up your alley, everything Exodus was built off of.

Maybe this was more her fight than Livia’s. She could do more for Dinah than Livia could. Avoid the red tape and bring a real conclusion.

“…life won’t be worth the termination-of-parental-rights form your mother scribbled her signature on.” Dinah spat and even you were taken back.

You almost said something about it but then remembered you weren’t with Billy. It was a sharp blow, even for you, but the woman was angry. And hell has no wrath like a woman scorned. You focused back in on the conversation as Dinah’s as vaguely threatening Billy before she left, leaving you and Billy alone in the room.

“Your head’s healing nice. Almost forgot you got hurt in the first place.” He commented instead of the question in his eyes. He didn’t trust the room wasn’t bugged so he didn’t dare to say what he really wanted.

“Yeah, cuts and bruises heal pretty okay for me.” You nodded. “The rib still hurts on deep breaths but that’s never gonna go away.”

“What are you doing, Livia?” He asked quietly. “Getting mixed up in all this.”

“I’ve always been part of this, just not the way you expected. Started long before I met you, Bill… See you soon.”

You were barely out of the room when his hand was around your arm. You let out a quiet sigh while he pulled you down one of the nearby halls.

“I never wanted to hurt you, Livia.” He said softly, the grip on your arm loosening while his thumb began to move against the fabric of your shirt. You made sure to put a hand on his chest to keep a fair distance between you two. “If there was another way…”

“Bill, all of this is your choice.” You insisted gently. “You could change it at any point if you let it.”

“I can’t…”

“I tried giving you the benefit of the doubt but you kept proving me wrong time and time again. You put me in a position where I have to defend you time and time again. I have to bend my conviction again. I have to choose between you and him.”

“Then stop fighting!” He urged as a loud whisper.

“I can’t!” You answered in the same hushed tone. “As much as I like you, I can’t be on your side. You’ve proved that you’re not loyal to me and you’re not loyal to Frank… That man saw you as his brother, his family. How could you do this to him?”

“You like me?” He asked in genuine amazement.

“That’s what you heard?”

You scoffed to yourself and left after that, making your way to Dinah’s office. You walked in on her arguing with someone else that she introduced as Rafi, the man above her. They were yelling about the conflict of interest and you offered they watch the rest of the video but Rafi didn’t want to hear anything from you. You listened to the rest in silence but were told to find Castle and Micro.

You didn’t need to work very hard to do that.

Leaving Dinah’s office, you went straight to Frank and Lieberman. You walked in in a hurry to update them on what was going on. Dinah had gained nothing by bringing in Billy other than pissing the man off, but there was still some underlying desire to have you in his life. He didn’t want to lose you for good and you could manipulate that  but before you could say anything about the spray painted vest you caught a glimpse of, Frank had grabbed your arm.

You opened your mouth for a question but he pulled you against his chest and had his arms around you before you could find your voice. You froze for a second before returning the embrace. Maybe it was an apology for being a jerk the last time you two spoke or maybe it was just his way of saying he was glad you were okay since he hadn’t said anything about it before. Maybe even his way of saying he felt bad you lost someone else you had trusted, that he understood you were betrayed too. In all likelihood, it was all three.

“Love you, Frank.” You muttered against him. “Figured I should say it before whatever happens next.”

“Yeah, love you too, Princess.” He answered and stepped back, patting your cheek before stepping away.

There was tension in the air lingering from an argument that just finished between him and Lieberman. You looked at the former NSA agent and he gave you a look that said he wasn’t going to talk about it. Frank was rushing around, collecting gear and throwing it into the back of the van. You had moved to follow him when something on Lieberman’s monitors caught your attention.

“Guys?” You called as you moved closer to the screens. “What happened here?”

Frank was by your side first. “Go back.”

Lieberman reversed the footage and found a quick scene of two alleged cops taking Sarah and Zach. But you noticed Leo was nowhere to be seen. Lieberman and Frank were going back and forth about what to do, who would be coming, and whether Sarah would give up ‘Pete’. You were more worried about why Leo wasn’t in any of the footage.

You pushed past the bickering men and ran out to your car. You rummaged through the backseat and under your passenger seat, throwing everything out of your way until you found it. The cracked, blood-stained mask. You didn’t care if anyone saw you with it as you ran back into the compound and then began rummaging through Lieberman’s cluttered desktop. You examined different cables and adapters before finding one that matched close enough to the shape of port your mask had.

You were moving to plug both ends in, one to your mask and one to a computer, when you saw a new angle of footage. It showed the driveway and Leo jumping from one of the windows.

“Atta girl.” You said to yourself with a small smile before resuming your task, ignoring Lieberman trying to get you to stop.

“Call her.” You said, simply stating his hands away when he reached for yours.

You were furiously typing, overriding your own security protocols and verifying the use of the new device. You scrolled through the various connections and tracking devices until you found it. It was old, probably had terrible range and reception, but it was usable. With Lieberman’s interconnected network, it just might do it.

SUIT - YERSOVA

The emblem you gave Leo was one of the original trackers before they were embedded in your bodies.

You laughed in slight relief when the screen showed a mask with a small blip of the familiar hourglass shape. You were piecing together where exactly she went when Frank put the call on speaker and leaned over your shoulder to see what you were doing. You pointed to the blinking logo and looked back at him, knowing both hope and worry were reflecting in your eyes.

“Hello?” Her voice came through, panic evident.

“Hey, kiddo.” You said softly. “It’s me and Pete. We’re gonna help you but you can’t talk to anyone about it, okay? Not the cops, not anyone. You remember who I told you I was? I’m gonna handle this.”

“They took Mom and Zach.” She sniffled and your heart broke for her. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I know what they did.” Frank answered. “You have no reason to trust me but I’m right here and we’re the only hope you and your family have.”

“After this call, I need you to take the battery out of the phone.” You instructed calmly. “Throw it as far as you can. Then the SIM card, you do the same thing in the other direction. If those people try to find you, they’re gonna come up empty, okay?”

“You know where the pool in that park is, sweetheart?” Frank said after a whispered exchange between him and Lieberman. “I want you to go there, okay? You wait for us and we will come for you. Okay?”

“Okay… Okay.” 

The call ended after that and you turned to Lieberman.

“You need to go to her.” You said pointedly, pushing past him.

“You just said you two were going.” He reasoned. “She thinks I’m dead. Am I supposed to just go up to her and say ‘Hey, baby. I’ve been living in a basement for a year. I’m not dead. Come let’s-“

“Goddammit, David!” You shouted in frustration. “Your daughter is scared and on her own!”

“Hey..” Frank said quietly, putting his hand on your shoulder. You took a deep breath and nodded, collecting yourself before talking again.

“Go to your little girl, David.” You said in a calmer tone. “I’ve been where she is and when I tell you all I wanted was my dad…”

“Meet us at the Greenpoint Terminal. If we’re not there by midnight, you go to Madani.” Frank instructed.

“Only to Madani.”

“What are you two gonna do?” David asked hesitantly.

“I’ve gotta change.” You shrugged, looking down at your dress shirt. “Then wait for these sons of bitches to show up.”

“Make ‘em tell us where Sarah is. Then we’re gonna kill them all.” Frank finished.

You ran to your car and drove home quickly. You practically ran up the stairs and slammed into the locked closet. You kicked a small box that was left outside your door and figured you’d look at it later. You changed your clothes quickly, the familiar tight fitting material of your suit on your body. Instead of your specialized top from Matt, you wore your newest vest. You fit your Bites into place at your wrists, knives at your thigh and back of your belt, a gun on your hip, shock disks at the front of your belt, retractable at your wrist as well. You threw on a loose pair of sweats and a hoodie for the drive back and sped back to Frank.

You ditched your covers at your car and kept your head down as you went inside. You announced your arrival with a whistle, two quick notes that usually would’ve been answered by a second pair of notes. You arrived just as Frank was finishing his prep, hiding rifles and other gear while you made your way to the bloodied mask. You unplugged it, deleted any trace off David’s computers, and put it over your eyes.

You hauled yourself up into the rafters, tucking your feet to conceal your presence. You and Frank said nothing to each other, only exchanging looks from time to time. It wasn’t until you saw the lights coming from down the hall that you focused up. You tapped your mask and counted the bodies, noting the thermal imaging device your mask detected with one of them. Your presence wouldn’t be secret for long, but it was never intended to be. 

One of the men strayed from the group so you moved carefully from above. You timed your steps to his, careful to shift your weight evenly to avoid any sounds. Once he was completely isolated, you dropped down and landed behind him. You covered his mouth and nose with one hand while flicking out the retractable blade. You dragged the knife along his throat and felt the warm blood spill across your hand.

The familiar metallic smell lingered in the air as his body went limp in your arms. His blood was dripping from your hand and your blade as you tucked it and moved to the next one. A man a few dozen feet away. You clipped the wire between your Bites as you crept up behind him.

In a swift motion, you got the wire around his neck and yanked backwards to throw him to his face and put a knee between his shoulder blades. You pulled the wire tighter and he gasped for breath, clawed at the wire and reached behind to try to grab you. Your hand took hold of either side of his head and twisted, a sick snap echoing in the empty hall.

You met with Frank a few minutes later and made your way into the main room. There was a small team spread out so you and Frank split. You watched one of them begin a phone call so you crept closer and turned your implant to listen in. Your body grew tense when you heard the voice on the other end.

“Конечно.” You muttered in annoyance. (Of course.)

Billy warned that it was a trap but it was too late. A decapitated head came rolling in with an explosive strapped to it and when it went off, you began your next assault. Gunfire rang out on the other side of the room while you took on your targets. The three closest to you.

Panic rose in the trio as you armed your Bites and a threatening red glow emanated from the devices. You quickly fired at one before moving to a second. He raised his rifle but you ducked it and knocked it aside, causing him to fire into one of his teammates’ leg. You grabbed the knife from the back of your belt and dropped to a knee, swiping it along the inside of his knee. He cried out and buckled before you flipped the blade in your hand and drove it down through his foot.

You yanked the other leg out from under him and he fell to his back. You rolled over him and took control of the rifle to fire a quick burst at the first man you had hit with your Bite. You then pressed your device against the second one’s temple and fired, the smell of burnt flesh filling your nostrils quickly. At that point, one target remained.

You grabbed the helmet of the closest body and threw it, slamming the nose of the man limping towards you. You ran at him and took hold of the front of his shirt before flipping over him, pulling him backwards over the desk. You yanked him to the side to get him to face you before slamming your fist against his face. Bloodied punch after bloodied punch until his face was a mangled mess of blood and swollen lumps. At that point, you pulled your pistol and came around to the other side of the table. You held the man by his hair and placed your gun under his chin. He coughed up blood before you fired and he fell limp.

You made your way to Frank again as he was getting hit with heavy fire from three men. You ducked by his side and pulled the discs from your belt. Using the reflection off the blade of your knife, you ricocheted your discs to hit the furthest two. They cried out and doubled over, providing enough of a gap for you to move one way and Frank to go in another.

You went for the two you electrocuted, kicking out at the closest one’s chest to slam him into the wall behind him. You jabbed the heel of your hand into the other one’s throat before he could gather his rifle and he stumbled back, holding the tender flesh. The man behind you grabbed your arm but you quickly breaking free of his hold. You grabbed his forearm instead and forced his arm to extend. You threw your other elbow against the joint and heard the rip tendons. Without releasing his arm, you grabbed his shirtfront and threw him into his teammate.

You pulled a blade and jammed it into the closest one’s stomach, dragging it across until it came out the other side and even more blood spilled over your hands. Using the same knife, you buried it in the last man’s neck. Watching the blood spill from his lips as he choked on it.

You found Frank again in the kitchen, yelling for Russo.

“He’s not here.” You said simply, you accent in your voice as you wiped the blood splatter off your cheek. It wasn’t until then, when the adrenaline was fading out, did you feel the sharp sting on a bullet graze on the outside of your arm.

You heard groaning and turned to see one man crawling away. Or at least trying to. You walked over and pressed a foot against the slices at the back of his legs and he cried out, going limp under your weight.

“Where’s Russo?” Frank asked when he got to your side.

“I… I don’t know, man.” He said through labored, pained breaths.

“The woman. The kid. Where’s they take ‘em?”

“I don’t know, man! That was…” He tried but you shifted your weight to bring a new wave of pain. “That was need to know. I don’t know anything.”

“Fair enough.” Frank said lowly before a quick shot ended the man’s life.

“One of them called Bill when they got here and told him about that.” You stepped off the body and nodded towards the desks that still replayed Zubair’s torture and the countdown. “Check him for the phone.”

Frank patted through the pockets and found it, sitting against one of the pillars before dialing. He put it on speaker and you sat beside him, rubbing your bloodied hands with a towel.

Sam’s blood.

Elektra’s blood.

“Frank?” Billy said after a short silence.

“The Billy Russo I knew… Oh, he’d have the balls to come himself, y’know.” Frank said, more to you than Billy.

“The Billy Russo I knew wouldn’t be on the wrong side of this fight.” You added, letting your accent tint your words.

“I’ve got staff for that these days.” He answered calmly. “You know the saying about having a dog and barking yourself?”

“Someday, sometime, this is gonna come down to you and me.”

“What about your little friend? Sounds like she’s pretty involved too.”

“Little friend?” You repeated with a small laugh. “You haven’t figured out who I am yet?”

“You’re a wanted man, Franky Boy.” He chose to ignore you, or at least not admit that you were still a wild card. “They’ll catch up to you eventually, just like last time.”

“Guess we’re both running out of time then, huh, Bill?” Frank answered flatly.

“What’s in those computers, Frank?”

“Woman and the kid. Where are they?”

“They’re with me. Right here. Safe and sound.”

You tapped your mask and gave it a second to find the phone call. It lagged due to the cracked lens but you were able to catch on and begin tracking the call. You needed Billy on the line as long as possible to give your broken mask a chance to do its job.

“It’s everything on you, Billy.” You explained, watching the progress bar fill itself at an agonizingly slow speed. “Listen to me carefully. If anything happens to that family, the whole world will see it. They’ll see you, Bill. After that, you’re done.”

“And Zach and Sarah will be dead.” He countered sharply. “You want that family back? I want Lieberman, and I want you, Frank.”

“Sounds about right… And what about my friend in the mask?”

“The girl?” He paused, thinking it over.

“Not just some girl.” You said plainly, dropping your accent for your next sentence. “I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out, Billy.”

“Livia…”

“Exodus.” Your accent found you again. You looked to Frank and he gave you a small nod. You sighed to yourself and pushed your mask up. “Set up the exchange.”

“You’re giving up that easy?”

“I’ve got a bigger picture.” You shrugged though it was more trust in whatever plan Frank had. “Last chance.”

“We’ll be in touch.”

You and Frank cleaned yourselves up and headed to meet with David. You called Dinah on the way and gave her the meeting point. You had thrown your sweats and hoodie back on, your mask hanging at your neck under the fabric and Bites hiding under your cuffs.

“How about it, Madani? You gonna pull your weapon on me again?” Frank joked and you smacked his arm.

“Do I have to?” She answered, making you and Frank chuckle.

“Surprised you called her.” David said, nervously looking between you two and Dinah. You looked past him and offered Leo a small wave that she returned.

“You and the princess trust her.” Frank answered and you glared at his use of your nickname. “I guess I do, too.”

“Princess?” She looked at you with a pointed expression.

“Not like that.” You shook your head and began to step away “He says it in a jackass kinda way.”

“No, it’s a ‘she gets everything she wants’ kinda way.”

“Exactly. Jackass.” You laughed.

You went around the van and opened Leo’s door. She was looking at you until Frank had joined you, then her eyes dropped to her lap.

“You did good, kid.” You said honestly. “I’m glad you had it.”

“Had what?” Her brows furrowed and she met your eyes.

“The symbol.” You smiled slightly. “Told you I’d have your back when you got it, didn’t I?”

“You guys knew he was alive this whole time?”

“Sorry about that.” You nodded. “It wasn’t safe.”

“I don’t know what to call you.” She glanced at Frank before dropping her eyes again. “Seems stupid to call you Pete.”

“I’m Frank, Frank Castle.”

“He’s a lot scarier than Pete.”

“Nah, he’s the same.” You offered and nudged Frank with your elbow before leaning closer to Leo to loudly whisper. “Honestly, I like Frank better anyway.”

Next thing you knew, you all went back to Dinah’s office. David and Leo waited in the hall while Dinah interrogated Frank. You hung out in the room, behind the camera. Initially, Dinah was against it but it didn’t take much of your power to change her mind. You knew you didn’t need to be in there but you felt protective of Frank, as both his lawyer and his friend. You simply wanted to make sure Dinah’s questioning didn’t cross a line.

Next was David’s interview, which you also hung around for. He spoke about wanting his family back, about that being his priority.

She tried to convince you to sit in front of the camera but you adamantly denied, saying your word wouldn’t change anything. You were too biased. As Frank’s lawyer and partner, you couldn’t speak on his actions without a conflict of interest. As Billy’s ex, you couldn’t speak on his actions either. As David’s associate, same thing. As Dinah’s freelance partner, nothing you said would be credible. So you erased any confidence in the idea and moved forward, getting ready to meet with Billy for the exchange.

You and the guys arrived just before the meeting time. You had no idea what would happen but you had to trust Frank had a plan, more of a plan than just killing Billy. But just in case, you gave him a hug before you got into position. You ditched your covers again and slid your mask to your face before disappearing into the shadows.

You watched the red van pull up and you pulled your gun from your belt. You felt a rush of relief when Sarah and Zach were revealed unharmed. You gripped your gun tighter when you saw the lit flare and your eyes shot to Frank. He lifted the phone to his ear so you tapped the scar in your hair and listened in, hearing Billy’s voice in your head.

Your mask was already tracing the call so you quietly began to follow the path you were given. You moved carefully, testing out ladders and walkways before putting your full weight onto them. You used the sound of the incoming DHS vehicles to cover your rapid footsteps. You came up behind Billy and grabbed the back of his jacket, pressing the other Bite against his temple.

“Miss me?” You asked, your accent dripping off your words.

“I can still pull the trigger.” He warned before you pressed your device harder.

“On who?” You looked over the scene.

Frank was nowhere to be seen and David was being grabbed. Sarah and Zach were safe behind Dinah but the firefight continued. Moments later, David went down and the scream that left Sarah froze you to your bones. It reminded you of your own scream outside Midland, watching the building go down and take Matt with it.

Billy took advantage of your distraction and as your hand gripped the railing in front of you in an attempt to jump it, he grabbed your arm and yanked to the ground. He pinned an elbow against your back and had your face pressed against one of the poles. You quickly looked down his barrel and saw he was aiming at Dinah.

“Go ahead then.” You spat, struggling under the pressure he was applying. “Kill her, then me. Make your life easier.”

Instead he shot out the front tires of both DHS vehicles and you let out a sigh of relief. You heard the clatter beside you when Billy dropped his rifle and grabbed both of your arms to haul you up with him. You struggled in his grip until he let go of an arm in favor of putting his hand on the side of your head. You had just armed your Bite when he slammed your head down to the railing.

One, two, three times till you fell unconscious.

You woke up on the cold concrete floor. Your head pounded and as you lifted it, you felt the slick feeling of drying blood. Looking over, you were in a small puddle of it. It had soaked into the band of your mask, which miraculously was still in place. Your hands were pinned tightly behind your back with zipties, practically tucked under the Bites still locked around your wrists. Your ankles were secured the same way and as you rolled yourself to your back, you felt nothing at your hip or back.

Your gun and knives were gone.

You managed to sit yourself up and began to glance around, looking for something to break the plastic restraints with.

“…geek friend is no longer with us.” You heard Billy’s voice from across the room.

“You killed him?” Frank asked quietly.

You looked around, craning your neck to see where they were. Across the room, you could only see Billy’s back and the arm of someone in the chair. That had to be Frank. The men continued their back and forth, unaware that you were awake on the other side.

“Did you pull the trigger on my wife?” Frank asked angrily and you felt a surge through your own veins, anticipation for Billy’s answer.

“On my son?”

The ultimate betrayal, more than simply siding with Rawlins. Killing Maria and the kids.

“My baby girl?”

“No.” Billy finally said and you felt some sense of relief. “No, I wasn’t there. If I was, you’d be in the ground because I wouldn’t have missed. But I told them I’d have no part in it.”

Your relief was short lived as you rolled your eyes and scooted down so your fingertips could reach the floor. You began to sweep your hands along, looking for anything. A rock, a loose screw, some debris from the previous fight. As you searched you wondered why Billy would have a part in it now. If he could so easily tell Rawlins and Schoonover no before, why not do it again? Especially when it was just Rawlins.

They continued their conversation as your search came up empty. You realized there was no other option and you closed your eyes and tilted your head against the wall. You clenched your jaw as you wrapped a hand around one of your thumbs. You pulled on the joint, moderating your breathing through your nose until it finally popped. You swallowed the groan as you released the limp digit. You flexed your hand up and got your nails under the edge of the zip tie and began to shimmy it down, over your dislocated thumb. You were silently grateful for your seemingly permanent blood soaked gloves, just as Frank was yelling towards someone else.

Your head snapped up and you tried to see again, but you knew your position was too hidden for him to see. You shrugged it off as your hands were able to separate. You pulled them in front of you and stretched out the ache in your shoulders before you looked at your ankles while popping your thumb back into place with another muffled sound.

You tried to get a finger under but those were done tightly as well. You sighed slightly and looked again, just in case your fingers missed something but you couldn’t miss what was never there. You rested the heels of your hands on your forehead and felt the edge of your mask.

The mask.

You pushed it off your head and turned it over in your hands, looking at the already cracked lens. You didn’t have the means to break it quietly but there was enough chipped off the edge that it was sharp. You tried it on the zip tie around your hand first and with a good tug, you got it to break through. At that point you brought it down to your ankles and began to saw through until it finally popped apart.

You smiled to yourself before you fixed the mask back over your eyes and crept closer to the scene, though you had to ignore the ache in your arms from your escape. Rawlins had come and gone but there was someone typing away at the computer screens, trying to get through to stop the countdown. Your first instinct was to go and help Frank, untie him before drawing Billy away, but the persistent tapping on the keyboards beside you kept plucking the strings of your nerves.

You’d deal with her first.

You crept into the area with the computers and woke one of your Bites. It hummed gently around your wrist while you stayed low to the ground to ensure no one in the next room could see you. You took one steadying breath, calculating the time you’d have between first contact and one of the men coming into the room.

Less than a minute was your best guess.

You kicked out her chair and the wheels scraped aggressively across the floor. She hit the ground with a loud groan so you reached across and covered her mouth with your hand. You aimed the other Bite and fired on her quickly, a sharp yelp coming from her before she fell limp. Small convulsions raked through her body though her eyes were closed. You stayed in your kneeling position and peeked over at the screen, finding comfort in the countdown that was still ticking. Cursor blinking in the box asking for a password

“Who are you protecting, hmm?” Billy asked and you dared to stand fully, relieved to see just him and Frank in the room and neither were looking at you. “Maria? Livia?”

Your heart jumped at your name, triggering the set of explosions in your chest that you thought would betray you. You watched in quiet interest while Billy wiped some of the blood dripping from Frank’s mouth and nose.

“She’s probably the one person in this city you don’t need to protect.” He chuckled and you saw the faintest of pinks falling from his words. The thought of him loving you, it really made his firm stance against you so confusing, but for all you knew Billy was just as confused.

“Doing all this for Livs isn’t gonna change anything. They’re dead. They’re dead because of you. And I get it. It’s a heavy, heavy burden… Time to put it down.”

“Don’t die on me, Frank.” You said to yourself. “I need a little more time.”

You ignored the words Billy was saying while you went back to the desk, finding the cable you had used when you first connected your mask to find Leo. You tried to move things quietly, given your rummaging was the only sound in the place. After what felt like an eternity, you found it. You pulled your mask around your neck and connected it. You typed carefully, gently pressing the keys to work through the security. When it came to the ocular scan, you were able to use a zoomed image saved in your mask. You had just gotten in when you felt slapped with the despair, the submission, and it left a cold feeling across your skin. You collected whatever would be dispersed when the timer ended and slid them over to be copied to your mask before picking up your head.

“It’s gotta be you.” Frank said and your heart sank immediately. “It’s gotta be clean. Just don’t let him take me, Bill. Don’t let him hurt her.”

“Who?”

“The… The princess. You gotta promise me that.”

How could he be worried about you in a time like that?

“Frank…” You tried to speak but you had no voice. Just a strained whisper of your friend’s name.

No, not your friend.

Your family. Your brother.

You understood then, the reasons you expected Billy to be loyal to Frank were the exact reasons you were, and that’s why it twisted your stomach so tightly. You fought beside Frank by chance, same as Billy. You risked your life at Frank’s side, same as Billy. You stood beside Frank in a storm of blood and bullets, same as Billy. Parched him up, trusted him with your life even when everyone told you not to. But on the other side, you stayed at his side without doubt. Billy left.

“He’s not gonna touch her.” Billy said honestly. “I promise.”

You weren’t exactly sure if you found comfort in that or not. What you did know from that was you had leverage, and you’d need as much of that as you could get.

There was a subtle pinging from your mask so you held it up enough to see that the files were copied. You disconnected the device and fit it back to your face as Billy summoned two men - who you hadn’t noticed and miraculously didn’t notice you either - to bring Frank to the computers.

Billy got into the room first as you were finding a hiding spot. Under the back corner of the desk, behind the leg among the mess of cables underneath. They stepped over the woman’s body and you saw Billy’s steps falter. Your hand hovered at your hip but remembered your gun was gone. You sighed to yourself and rested your hand over your bent knee, forced to depend on your own strength and your Bites. He said nothing and a bit later, the men slammed Frank’s chair down. You watched him draw closer, blocking your hiding spot from view as he spoke. Rawlins had entered as well while Frank was typing.

Soon after, a small alert popped up in the corner of your mask. You carefully tapped your mask and it displayed the live camera feed from David’s systems on the roof above you. You realized quickly that Frank was potentially going to push Rawlins, that way if he died that day, at least it’d be on tape.

That crazy son of a bitch.

The screaming was next, sending a jolt of adrenaline through you. Billy had moved out of your way so you reacted quickly. You kicked out his knees so he fell to the ground and you climbed out of your hiding spot. 

You moved to stand but Billy grabbed your ankle, causing you to stumble and give him enough time to get up. You spun quickly when his grip released, a small growl at the base of your throat as you faced him. He looked at you with slightly widened eyes before you moved at him. You threw sharp combos of punches, alternating hands and targets, switching your feet and ducking his attempts to hit you back. On one swing, he pushed your hand away but the movement was enough to flick out the knife at your wrist. You chuckled in disbelief, having completely forgotten about the discreet weapon, before yanking your arm back and slicing the tip of Billy’s shoulder.

You shoved your shoulder into his chest to knock him back before you hurried to kneel at Frank’s side. He looked at you in complete shock and you ignored the look while you wiggled the tip of the blade under the ziptie. Before you could break it, a heavy boot slammed your side. It knocked the air from your lungs as you fell to the ground. Looking back and clutching your side, Rawlins stood over you with blood dripping down his chest and neck. He was breathing heavily before he slammed his foot into the side of Frank’s head and your friend went limp.

He came closer to you and you saw Billy coming up behind him. You quickly decided you didn’t need or want that man to save you so you helped yourself. You waited until Rawlins was within your reach and you swiped your blade in a wide arc and sliced both of his legs. You then kicked out at the new wounds and the man fell into Billy. You ran after that, just far enough away that you could get into the rafters, though neither man had the audacity to chase you.

You waited a few minutes and just as you were going to sneak back in, your implant was pinging with a phone call. You denied it but it came again. With a silent groan, you climbed down and snuck out the back entrance you usually crept in through.

“What?” You said sharply.

“What did you do to my cameras?” David asked quickly on the other end.

“Your cameras?”

“I’m trying to access them but it says they can’t broadcast. You said you messed with them. What did you do?”

“What are you…” You began before you remembered. “Right, shit. When I first got here and I didn’t know or trust you, I blocked any and all broadcast. Only connected devices can get to the feed.”

“Well unblock it!”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Dinah asked, her voice further away than David’s.

“I don’t have that tech with me.” You said honestly. “I might be able to do it through my mask but there’s no guarantee… What do you need the cameras for anyway?”

“These men need to be arrested!” She urged. “We need to see what’s happening.”

“There are no arrests to be made here!” You argued. “Madani, I worked with you because I needed to know what you knew. But this talk of- of trials and arrests, you sound like Daredevil and look where that got him. It ends the way Frank decides it ends…. Жизнь за жизнь.” (A life for a life.)

“Can I undo it from here?” He asked instead.

“Maybe.” You shrugged, not caring to argue. “Can you read Russian?”

“What?”

“It’s a Russian program. If you can read it, the override key is Daredevil, Отчаянный. And the confirmation is Romanoff, Романофф.”

“Why would you do it in Russian?”

“It’s my first language, dude. Look, I gotta go.” You hung up quickly.

You took a deep breath of fresh air and looked back at the door.

You could leave. You didn’t have to stay, didn’t have to fight. You could go home, lick your wounds and take on Billy on your own if Frank didn’t finish it.

But what kind of friend would that make you? What kind of person would that make you?

You’ve gotta see it through, sweetheart.

You could hear Matt’s voice in your head.

You’ll be alright. Save Frank to save yourself.

You weren’t even worried about yourself.

So you went back inside. You snuck in quietly and stayed low, hiding in shadows and behind the clutter David left behind. You watched the scene unfold with a sick feeling in your stomach, enough to make you want to puke. But you swallowed it down, forced it to the bottom of the chasm in your chest.

Every punch Rawlins landed on Frank was paired with an echoing explosion. You were still there, in front of Midland as it went down. And the Matt in your head might’ve been right. To get yourself out of there, to save yourself, you had to save Frank.

“I made him a promise.” You recognized Billy’s voice as you got into the room, shimmying behind some pile of crates.

“I don’t care about your promise.” Rawlins spat and the anger was hot, even in your hiding spot. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and go find the girl?”

“The girl?” Billy nearly laughed. “You do realize that was Exodus, right? She wiped the Russian syndicate off the map by herself. She cleared Yakuza from the city. Took on Wilson Fisk. She don’t wanna be found, no one’s gonna find her.”

“Oh… I see.” Rawlins nodded and you clicked your mask to watch from the camera. “You’ve gone soft for her.” He mocked. “You think she cares about you, Russo? If she’s so dangerous, then you're only alive to serve her purpose. Once she’s done, she’ll put a bullet in you unless you get to her first.”

“She’s not gonna kill me.” Billy shrugged and your brow quirked at the confidence. “And I’m not gonna kill her. But I am gonna kill him.”

“He does not get to die easy!” Rawlins yelled.

“He’s taken too much from me.”

“Like what?” Billy challenged and in any other scenario, you would’ve thought it to be sort of hot.

You stopped paying attention after that, wondering how you were going to get the men out of the room. You considered going after their hacker again, but you’d already shocked the girl once. Doing it again might just kill her. You could head back into the rafters, call them and lure them away. Throw something down the hall and watch them panic, but that might only get one. You were calculating different options when Frank’s agonizing scream sounded and you nearly exposed yourself.

“This doesn’t serve me!” Billy yelled and you saw two sets of feet moving away. Looking at the small camera image at the corner of your vision, Billy had pulled Rawlins off.

Rawlins calling Billy a gutter rat seemed to strike a chord with you that you didn’t understand, nor did you try to. You stepped out carefully, gently guiding the blade out of its position hidden under your Bite, and crept behind Rawlins. Billy’s eyes darted over and saw you coming but instead of saying anything, he moved to be behind Frank and put his gun to his head.

You reacted quickly in turn, putting an arm around Rawlins’ neck and kicking out his knees to force him to the ground. You pulled back the arm around his throat and pressed the tip of the blade under the man’s chin.

“Nice to know you’ve got good things left to say, Bill” You said simply, your familiar accent rolling off your tongue with ease. “But if you hurt him, I will kill you.”

“Stand down, Lieutenant!” Rawlins shouted, a strained sound.

You heard a faint click, not one of the handgun Billy held but something else. Like plastic breaking. After a second, Billy stood and held his gun up in surrender.

“And you.” You said to Rawlins, pushing the tip enough to break skin. “Beating on a man who cannot fight back. That’s low, even for me. Is it because you’re afraid?”

“I’ll kill you.” He breathed. “After Castle, you’re dead.”

You looked up and saw Billy moving closer, a hand out to you in question. You clenched your jaw and yanked your blade, cutting a long line across the bottom of his chin before you threw him to his face. You reached down and took the gun from his holster, tucking it into yours instead.

“No, I don’t think I am.” You answered. “I took out Russians and Yakuza, remember?”

You let Billy grab both of your arms and put them behind your back. Rawlins had gotten to his feet and reached for something off the table, a blue rod in either hand. You tried to see it better but he shoved the object against your stomach, between the armored plates and you felt a needle pierce your skin.

You gasped in shock and Billy pulled you backwards as Rawlins turned to Frank and laughed. You sudden felt a tingling sensation across your body, as if all of your limbs had fallen asleep and were waking back up. You could feel your heart steadily picking up in your chest, a strange stutter in its rhythm. It made you dizzy, uneasy on your feet and falling into Billy. You watched him stick Frank with the other and he sat upright in his chair.

“Adrenaline…” You muttered, shaking your head to clear the symptoms. You could feel them fading, the heat under your skin burning through the excess hormone, but that didn’t make the physical effects any less.

“Frank…” You tried but got no reaction, not even when Rawlins leaned in with what looked like an ice pick in his hand.

“Frank!” You yelled, using every square inch of air in your lungs as Billy dragged you towards the computers.

You watched as Frank got his revenge, beating on Rawlins before shoving his thumbs into the man’s eye sockets. It was a grotesque scene but well warranted, all things considered.

You fought out of Billy’s hold and stumbled down the short stairs, making your way to Frank’s side. The two exchanged comments as you fell to your hands and knees beside your friend. You were reaching for the gauze at your belt when you heard the Homeland announcement. Your intent shifted to the borrowed gun and you lifted it as Billy aimed his gun at Frank.

You fired without hesitation and grazed his hand. You didn’t pay attention to where he went. Instead you dropped the gun and focused on Frank. David was quick to get to the ground beside you and Dinah stood a few feet away in quiet shock.

“Dammit, Dinah.” You said sharply. “Help me. Help him!” You began shouting. “He did all of this for your goddamn justice and all you can do is stand there!”

“Put your hands up!” An agent yelled but you ignored him, staring daggers at Dinah while you were holding Frank’s hand. You knew you were projecting your desperation, the need for him to survive, but you didn’t know how it came across to him.

“Hands up, now!” He yelled again and you felt the rifle at the base of your skull.

“Jesus Christ, Madani, do something!” David shouted.

“Если нет, ваши люди снова умрут.” You warned lowly. (If not, your men will die, again.)

[e-dubbc11]

In Bloom Pt. 3

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Some swear words, little bit of smexy time but pretty tame, mentions of Billy’s abandonment, his nightmares, little bit of angst, and fluff

Word Count: 5.3k-ish

Summary: Part 3 of 3. Reader is curious where Billy brings the bouquet of flowers he buys every week, their relationship progresses and he opens up a little more to her. Previous chapters linked below.

Part 1

Part 2

A/N: This was a fun little series to write. I hope everyone has enjoyed it so far and enjoy the conclusion too, although I do think an epilogue might be in order 😉💐

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

“We slept together.” You joked, trying to keep a straight face.

The following Friday, Mr. Campbell asked about your date with Billy just like you knew he would.

“I beg your pardon?!” He yelled.

You started laughing and found it difficult to stop.

“Just sleep, Mr. Campbell…just sleep! There wasn’t any, as you say, ‘funny business’. We had a nice evening out, had one more drink at his place, he ended up reading aloud to me and we both fell asleep.”

Remembering that night brought a smile to your face and you had been out with Billy a couple of times since that night…a coffee date and then he showed up at your office with lunch for the two of you which was just incredibly sweet. You were starting to really fall for him but you still didn’t know much about his past.

“Mr. Campbell, can I ask you something?” You asked.

He looked up from the counter, pushed his glasses up and said “Of course, my dear. What is it?”

“Do…” You paused wondering if you should actually ask the question or keep it to yourself but you went for it anyway. “Do you know anything about Billy’s past? The way he grew up? Anything?”

Mr. Campbell set the flowers that he was holding down on to the counter, he touched your hand as he started to talk.

“My dear, y/n. Billy is a very private person and he doesn’t share that kind of information with me but even if I did know something, I wouldn’t tell you because it’s not my story to tell, right?” He said, rubbing the top of your hand.

Letting out a long exhale, you nodded and said “Yes, I understand. You’re right. I shouldn’t be so nosy but I thought maybe if I knew, I could, I dunno, help?”

“Oh but you are helping, my dear.” He said.

Confused, you narrowed your eyes at him.

“How so?” You asked.

He smiled at you and said. “I’ve never seen him smile like he did earlier when he was here. The smile never left his face when he was talking about you.”

“Really?” You asked with a wide smile.

“Really.” Mr. Campbell said. “Oh and those flowers are already paid for, by the way.”

“Dammit, Billy.” You cursed.

Mr. Campbell went right back to his work on another bouquet.

“He likes you a lot, y/n. He’s never ever talked about a woman before with me and he couldn’t stop talking about you. So be patient, I’m sure he’ll tell you when he’s ready.” He said softly.

“Ok…but I do have ONE more question.” You said.

“What’s that, my dear?” He asked.

“The flowers he buys every week…where does he bring them?” You asked.

Mr. Campbell just smiled a sweet smile at you and said. “I am sworn to secrecy, my dear.”

You were slightly disappointed with his answer but you remembered Mr. Campbell’s words “I’m sure he’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

**********

Mr. Campbell was right. After being together for a few months, Billy did open up a little more to you about never really having a real relationship before because he was told relationships made you weak, they left you vulnerable to attack, and he was convinced if anyone got close to him, they would just leave him anyway.

That one broke your heart most of all but he still didn’t really talk about his childhood, his parents, or the group home.

“Stop paying for my flowers, Billy!” You said with a wide smile.

He smiled back at you and chuckled. “No way, y/n. You’re not the boss of me! Actually…”

Billy paused and crawled over to the other end of the couch where you were sitting with your back against the arm and positioned himself between your legs.

“You are the only person I’d let be the boss of me.” He said with a mischievous grin, hungrily pressing his lips to yours, his cock straining against his pants inaudibly telling you how badly he wanted you.

You were pinned tightly against the arm of the couch, as he eagerly pressed his body against you, tracing his lips from your jawline down your neck and gently biting your pulse point which made your vision blurry.

Only together a few months and he already knew which buttons to push to make you fall apart underneath him.

“Oh really?” You said, breathlessly.

Billy’s strong hands roamed over your body, finding their way under your sweater and his long slender fingers brushed the soft skin above the waist of your jeans.

Lightly touching his forehead to yours, he asked. “What do you want me to do to you, sweet girl?”

Hearing those words escape his lips made you shudder, and caused your knees to tremble. His hips grinding hard against yours while you softly moan against his mouth.

“Ah, ah…use your words, princess.” He shook his finger at you.

Biting back soft whimpers, you answered him.

“I want you to kiss me, Billy.” You said.

As he leaned in to kiss you, you stopped him with your finger resting against his lips. “Not there, handsome.”

He bit down on his lower lip and eyed you up and down.

“I want you to go down further, Billy.” You whispered in his ear.

Billy leaned down to kiss the sculpted hollow of your throat, ghosting your collar bone with his skilled fingers. “Right here?” He asked, softly.

“Hmmmm…Not far enough, baby.” You purred.

Discarding your sweater on the floor, he left you in just a red lace bra on top. His eyes flashed with excitement and you could feel the sly grin he had on his face as his traced his lips in between your breasts and nipped at the soft skin of your stomach.

“What about here?” He asked, pausing just above the button of your jeans.

Strands of his raven colored hair were loosely wrapped around your fingers, as his gaze flicked up to meet yours, still smiling that slightly wicked smile of his.

“You’re getting warmer.” You said with a wicked smile of your own. “You think the panties match the bra?”

“If history has taught us anything baby, I’m sure they don’t.” He chuckled, inching up your body to look into your eyes again.

Raising your eyebrows, you gently pushed him away. “Well you’re going to have to catch me if you wanna find out.”

And you took off toward the bedroom, laughing teasingly. Billy followed close behind and practically tackled you onto the bed, catching you before you fell off.

“I got you, beautiful. I won’t let you fall.” He said, still laughing as he pulled you back over the edge of the bed. “You know I’d never let you fall.” His tone turned serious as he bent down to kiss you again.

“I’ll never let you fall either, Billy.” You said, gently raking your nails against his scalp. “I promise.”

His eyes shined like chips of dark glass after you said that, his mouth slanted over yours as he kissed you harder than he ever had before. You wanted him to believe you, to trust you with his heart that had never known what it meant to be loved. Because you did.

You loved him.

**********

The nightmares were difficult to keep from you. The first time it happened, you didn’t know what was going on or what to do. All you could do was attempt to calm him and reassure him it wasn’t real which seemed to help.

One night in particular was especially frightening. He kept calling out the name “Arthur.” You talked him through it and he was able to go back to sleep. When he brought you your coffee in bed the next morning, you asked him “Billy? Who’s Arthur?”

His body immediately tensed, you noticed the tightening of his jaw and he gnashed his teeth as he asked “Where, uh…where did you hear that name, baby?”

“You called out his name in your sleep last night. You sounded scared.” You brushed his knuckles with your thumb.

“I guess I can’t keep it from you anymore.” Said Billy, shying slightly away from you.

And as the two of you drank your coffee, Billy told you all about Arthur, the Ray of Hope group home and where the large scar on his shoulder came from. You just assumed it came from his time in the service.

After he was finished, he had a hard time looking you in the eyes like he was ashamed. He was afraid you would look at him differently if you knew or you wouldn’t want to be with him anymore.

“I promised you I’d never let you fall, Billy. They weren’t just words…I—I love you.” You had said.

He was speechless. For his entire life, Billy Russo never got close to anyone and never allowed people to get close to him, if he showed his feelings it would make him weak and feel out of control.

After Arthur, he never wanted to not be in control ever again but his heart now belonged to you and he was finally ok with someone else being in possession of it.

Your insides twisted with nausea after saying those three words and you felt the blood drain from your face. Billy closed the distance between you, inching himself closer to you on the bed before pinching your chin between his thumb and forefinger.

Resting his forehead against yours, he touched his lips to yours which were trembling because he hadn’t said anything yet.

“I love you too, sweet girl.” He had said, in barely more than a whisper, as you finally stopped holding your breath. “More than anything.”

**********

Five months together with Billy and you had never been happier. He chose you. A man who never tried being in a real relationship, but he tried with you. And you called upon your extreme patience sometimes to be able to deal with him, reminding yourself “he really doesn’t know any better.”

It wasn’t easy at times but he was incredibly grateful to you for “putting up with him,” as he called it. Billy was easy to love, you just had to get over a few bumps in the road first.

But there was still something bothering you. Ok, well maybe not bothering you exactly but he still hadn’t told you where he brought his weekly flower bouquets.

Billy always thanked you for being patient with him, however the natural curiosity you had about the weekly bouquet he picked up had evolved into a slight obsession. It was killing you not knowing where he went every Friday, you just really wanted to know.

**********

The look of cold rain threatened in the sky overhead. The clouds were the color of lead, shiny gray with a touch of blue, and you thought you heard a slight rumble of thunder in the distance as you waited in an uber for Billy to leave Mr. Campbell’s shop.

Your stomach was in knots and you knew it was wrong but you planned to follow him.

Not wanting to ask, but it seemed like your driver had done something very clandestine like this before. He stayed back just far enough so Billy wouldn’t be suspicious but close enough to see where he was going.

Heavy raindrops pelted the windshield as the wipers cleared the glass and the sky grew darker. The lull in the rain coincided with Billy pulling into a parking lot to a psychiatric hospital. Your driver followed close behind and you told him to park close to the Rolls Royce but not too close.

Billy’s only focus seemed to be on whoever was in that hospital, he didn’t take notice of anything else. He just plucked the flowers from the front seat and darted for the front door, hoping the rain didn’t pick up again.

You decided not to go inside. It wasn’t right and you felt terrible for what you had done. Whatever Billy’s secret was, it wasn’t a secret anymore. The flowers he bought every Friday belonged to someone in that hospital but you couldn’t bring yourself to find out who.

The guilt you had, felt like it was eating you alive, goosebumps pricked across your skin and suddenly it was hard to breathe. Spying on him was just wrong and you needed to leave.

“Are you going inside, Miss?” The driver asked.

A tear streaked down your cheek as you answered. “Uh, no—no. Could you please just bring me back to where you picked me up? Obviously, I’ll pay you for both rides.”

He nodded and said. “No problem.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to waste your time.” You said.

He smiled and said “It’s really no trouble, Miss.”

“Thank you.” You replied, with a slight hitch in your voice.

Your driver dropped you off in front of the flower shop, you wanted to talk to Mr. Campbell before Billy got back. He was supposed to come over for dinner tonight, and said he would bring pizza so at least you didn’t have to get back to cook anything.

“What are you doing back here, my dear? I thought Billy was coming over for dinner tonight?” Mr. Campbell asked.

Pacing back and forth, you could feel your heart beating out of your chest and the tears in your eyes were about to spill over.

“He is Mr. Campbell, but I did something I shouldn’t have! I—I followed him after he left your shop. I just really wanted to know where he brought those flowers!” You said, trying to catch your breath and stop crying.

“Did you go inside the hospital, y/n?” He asked.

You violently shook your head back and forth and pressed your lips together in a straight line before answering him.

“No…no, I didn’t. As soon as I saw where we were, I felt sick to my stomach and I knew I did the worst thing I could do. I betrayed him.” You sobbed.

Mr. Campbell just smiled his sweet smile at you. “I’m sure he’ll forgive you if you tell him the truth and how you feel.”

You pressed the palm of your hand to your forehead and then moved it to cover your eyes.

“I kept hearing your voice, saying ‘he’ll tell you when he’s ready’ and I didn’t listen, my curiosity couldn’t take it anymore! Five months, he hasn’t told me where he takes them in FIVE months!” You shouted. You finally stopped pacing and rested your hand on the counter.

Still smiling, Mr. Campbell placed his hand on top of yours. “Everything will be alright, my dear. He loves you.”

“He’s going to be so mad at me, Mr. Campbell.”

He removed his glasses. “Maybe at first. I know he won’t be able to stay mad at you forever. You’re too important to him.” He said.

Deep down, you hoped Mr. Campbell was right but you’ve never been so scared to lose someone as you were at that moment.

Billy was everything you had ever wanted, everything you were looking for, and you felt like as soon as you told him what you had done, he would leave and you would never hear from him again.

He made you smile…all the time. He was sweet, thoughtful, funny but also stubborn, moody, and still kept secrets from you.

There had to be a reason why. There just had to be but you weren’t patient enough to let him tell you on his own time. And now you might lose him because of a poor decision in a moment of weakness.

**********

After coming home, Billy texted to tell you he had pizza and was on his way over. Nervously sitting at the dining room table, you stared at the newest bouquet of flowers in the middle of the table. They just might be the last bouquet of flowers Billy would buy for you and your eyes immediately welled up with tears again.

That was the last thing you wanted.

When your door buzzer rang, you rushed over to answer. “Billy? Is that you?”

“Hey beautiful, yeah it’s me.” He answered.

After buzzing him in, you unlocked the door and waited at the table for him to come in.

Billy walked through the door, little raindrops were visible on his suit jacket, smiling his perfect smile for you. He quickly dropped the pizza on the table and rushed to kiss you. He never could wait to get his hands on you. Pulling you to standing and cupping your cheeks, his lips collided with yours and he hungrily kissed you until your lips were red.

You felt his warm breath against your eyelids, inhaling the scent of your perfume with each breath he drew in as he continued to kiss you, making you weak in the knees.

“I missed you today.” He said.

Trying to smile, you replied. “I can see that, handsome.”

After putting a slice of pizza on both of your plates, he sat down and started eating while you could barely even look at it without wanting to cry. This might be the last meal you and Billy share together.

It’s probably just best to tell him now.

“Billy…I need to tell you something.” You said, softly.

He stopped eating and furrowed his brow, the napkin fell to the table after wiping off his mouth and hands. A troubled look appeared on his face out of nowhere.

“What is it, baby? Are—are you ok?” He asked.

“Billy, I did something I shouldn’t have.” You blurted out.

He reached for your hand. “I’m sure whatever it is, sweet girl we can—“

You cut him off.

“I followed you from Mr. Campbell’s—to that hospital.” The tears were streaming down your face now.

The bitterness in his voice was harsh. “You—you followed me?”

“Billy, I am so, so sorry! I just wanted to know where your took those flowers and I—“

He interrupted you. “Did you follow me inside the hospital too?!” He snapped. “Did you?!”

“N-no Billy, I didn’t. I just thought if I knew, then I could help with whatever it was. As soon as I saw you pull into that lot, I knew I made a horrible mistake and I shouldn’t have betrayed your trust like that.” You said. “I turned around and went home.”

You wanted nothing more than to go to him, snake your arms around his neck and pull him to you, but he recoiled when you took a step toward him. He protectively folded his arms across his chest, his expression was distant, and he looked as pale as a marble pillar.

There was a touch of acid in his tone when he spoke again.

“You said I could tell you when I was ready but you went behind my back! I can’t believe you would do this to me!” His voice full of anger and dripping with spite as he picked up his jacket. “I gotta go.”

You tried to stop him as he started walking toward the door.

“I’m sorry, Billy. Please don’t leave!” You called after him.

But it was too late, he slammed the door behind him, leaving you alone to remember the hurt he had in his eyes right before he left.

Billy was gone and you weren’t sure if you were going to see him again, hear his voice again, or tell him that you love him again.

Your heart was shattered, it felt like there were shards of glass floating around inside your chest or like a giant snake had enveloped your whole body and it was crushing you, making sure you heard every bone snapping in half because you deserved it.

You knew you deserved worse than that. He had every right to be furious. You were the one person he let in, to see who he really was, not judging but helping him open up, to talk about whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and you broke his trust and you hurt him.

“I promised I’d never let you fall, Billy.” You had said but you personally pulled the rug out from underneath him.

No matter how long it takes, you were determined to win back his trust.

**********

Even though you knew he probably wouldn’t answer, you tried to call Billy the next day. He didn’t pick up but you left a message anyway…

“H-hey Billy, I know you’re furious with me and you have every right to be. You do. And I am so, so sorry. It was a stupid thing to do and if I could take it back I would but I can’t. I completely understand if you don’t want to see me anymore, I broke your trust and I’ll accept whatever you decide to do. I love you.”

You sent a text a few days later that went unanswered but he did read it. Billy had the biggest sweet tooth of anyone you had ever met so you had his favorite cookies delivered to Anvil, no response to that either except from Frank.

He left you a voice message: “Those cookies were delicious, kid. I can see why Bill always hoards them, he did eat one, by the way. I just hate seein’ him like this, it’s like a piece of him is missing.”

You heard Billy’s voice in the background.

“Frankie, who are you talkin’ to?”

Frank’s voice came back on.

“Shit, busted. Gotta go, sweetheart.”

Frank’s message made you chuckle and it was probably the first time you smiled in almost a week.

Friday was coming up soon but you really weren’t in the mood for flowers but seeing Mr. Campbell was a big part of going to the shop every Friday. You really did just enjoy talking to him, the flowers were a secondary reason to go there at this point.

“Hi, Mr. Campbell.” You said as you walked through the door.

Mr. Campbell was finishing up with a customer, she was the only other person in the shop.

“Hello, my dear y/n. How is my favorite customer?” He asked after saying goodbye to her.

“I think you know the answer to that question.” You said softly.

He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and put his pen down. “Yes, I guess I do know the answer to that. But you came clean and told him the truth. You easily could have lied to him but you didn’t.”

You interrupted him.

“And it cost me the best thing to ever happen to me.” You said, your eyes welling up with tears again. You were actually surprised you had any left.

“You don’t know that.” Mr. Campbell said.

“Oh don’t I?!” You said, slight anger in your voice. “I called, texted, left messages, sent cookies to his office and apologized profusely. He doesn’t wanna talk to or see me, Mr. Campbell.”

“Give him time, my dear. Ya never know, it might be sooner than you think. Now what kind of flowers would you like today?” He asked, handing you a tissue.

Dabbing under your eyes, you caught the fresh tears before they could trickle down your cheeks.

“I don’t know if I really want any flowers today.” You sobbed.

Mr. Campbell never failed to have a smile on his face. “I promise they’ll make you feel better.” He said.

You gave him a slight smile. Talking to him always did make you feel better. From the very first time you walked into his shop, he and his flowers always lifted your spirits.

“Something with purple hydrangeas.” You said.

And he went to work putting together a perfect bouquet for you, just like he had every other time. When he was finished, you reached into your tote and pulled out his weekly treat and retrieved your wallet from your purse.

Before you could hand him your card, he held up his hand and waved it off.

“No, no…they’re already paid for.” He said with a smile.

You thought maybe Mr. Campbell paid for your flowers.

“Mr. Campbell, you didn’t have to pay for these, I can—“ You started to say.

But he cut you off.

“Oh no, my dear. I didn’t pay for them. Mr. Russo was in here early this morning.” He said with a warm smile. “He left this for you too.”

He handed you a card and you recognized Billy’s handwriting.

I told you, someone as sweet as you shouldn’t have to buy their own flowers.

All my love,

Billy

A smile stretched across your face as tears streaked down your cheeks.

“I didn’t even have to convince him. That was the first thing he did when he came in this morning. I told you, you were important to him, so I hate to say I told you so.” Mr. Campbell said.

With a little chuckle you said “Go ahead, you can say it.”

“No, I don’t think I will.” He said. “You go home now, don’t want those wilting on ya.”

“Thank you, Mr. Campbell…for everything.” You said, walking toward the door.

He smiled and waved as you exited the shop and headed for home.

**********

You were half expecting to see Billy outside the door to your apartment when you got there but he wasn’t so you’d just call him when you got settled inside.

After switching out your flowers, you cleaned straightened up the kitchen, put your books away, and did a couple more chores before deciding, instead of calling him, you’d just surprise him at his place.

One last mirror check before you grabbed your keys out of the bowl and opened the door to leave. Not expecting anyone to be on the other side of the door, you collided with Billy, almost knocking him over.

“I know you weren’t expecting me, sweet girl but you didn’t have to tackle me. I’ll call next time, I promise!” He said, flashing that perfect smile at you. That smile that you never thought you’d see again. “Where are you rushing off to, my love?”

“I—I was coming to see you.” You said with a slight hitch in your voice. “Billy, I’m SO sor—“

Before you could finish, Billy’s lips were on you, his hands cupping your cheeks, and walking you backwards into your apartment. Shutting the door with his foot, his lips never left yours as he kissed you…hard.

As much as you were loving it, you pulled away. “Billy, can I please just say I’m sorry!?”

“You’ve already apologized, my love. I wanna tell you that...that I’m sorry too. I should have told you where I was taking the flowers but—“ He started to say.

“No, Billy! I should have respected that you weren’t ready to tell me. But, what would you have said if I said I wanted to know where you were taking them that first day we met?” You asked.

He kissed your forehead and led you over to the couch. “I would have just said I’m not ready to talk about it yet. Then every time I thought I was ready to talk about it, all of the anger and hate I have for her would come back and I just didn’t want to upset you or bother you with it…or have you look at me differently.”

Now you were wondering who he’s referring to when he said “her.”

“I’ve never judged you, Billy. Do you think you could tell me now? It’s ok, if you’re not rea—“

Billy blurted out. “It’s my mother….it’s my mother.”

You were speechless. Billy told you he grew up in the system but he had never really said how he got there.

“I, uh…don’t really remember too much but she dropped me off at a fire station upstate, in Albany. She loved those drugs more than she loved me.” He said softly.

You tried to imagine Billy as a little boy, waiting and waiting for her to come back but no one shows up. It’s no wonder why he was so closed off, and why he seemed so angry that first time you asked about his childhood.

The person that was supposed to love him no matter what and protect him, left him without any regard for anyone else except herself and her habit.

You weren’t sure which broke your heart more, the story about Arthur or his mother.

“I visit her once a week, bring her flowers even though she doesn’t deserve them. I just sit there and talk to her, she doesn’t say anything because she can’t talk anymore and I just talk about my life. I told her about you too.” He said.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes. You could see it was excruciating for him to talk about her, he’s carried around his hate for her for so long and yet he went to visit her every single week.

Reaching out to take his hand in yours, you continued to listen.

“I told her ‘see ma, there is someone that loves me. She said she’d never let me fall and I believe her, I trust her, and I love her too.’ I just—I would have given her the world, if she just wanted me.” Billy said.

It was difficult to find the right words to say to him. This man just poured out his feelings to you like blood from an open wound. Those words have probably never been uttered to another human being before and he was telling all of it, to you.

He knows what it’s like to be alone, to not have a single soul that cares about you which was why it took him so long to open up to you. No one could leave him if they never got close to him, like she did.

She didn’t deserve his attention, didn’t deserve love, or the flowers he brought her every week after what she did to him, but she was still his mother.

“Billy…I’m not even going to pretend to know what all of that was like for you because I just don’t know. I can only imagine and it breaks my heart. What I can do is tell you that I love you, I’ll always be here to help you however I can if you want me to, and you’ll never ever have to feel alone or unwanted as long as I’m around.” You said through warm tears streaking down your face.

Brushing his beard with your thumbs, you closed the distance between the two of you on the couch and leaned forward to kiss him. Your mouth slanting over his as you melted completely into him, his body a warm hard cradle for yours, and you fit perfectly against him, like you were meant to be his.

“I love you, beautiful…so much.” Billy said, kissing the tip of your nose.

Scrunching your nose and biting down on your lower lip, you looked into his onyx colored eyes and couldn’t remember a time where you’ve been more in love with someone.

Billy finally took a chance and opened up to someone but you took a chance on him too. He was so different from your ex and those Wall Street pricks, he never took you for granted because he knew how quickly it could all be gone.

Billy Russo wasn’t perfect. He would never be perfect, but he was perfect for you because he made you happier than you ever thought you could be. And you did the same for him.

“I love you too, handsome. And thank you for my flowers.”

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705

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[the-cult-of-russo]

Head Like A Hole

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader 

Warnings: cursing, smut, knife play, blood play. All the good stuff lmao

A/N: The name of this one is from the Nine Inch Nails song by the same name. I was listening to it and this just came to me so…. Enjoy I guess lololol

Bow down before the one you serve

You're going to get what you deserve

Bow down before the one you serve

You're going to get what you deserve

-----

Head Like A Hole blared through the speakers of the club and you felt the beat down to your bones. You had a pleased smile on your face as you twirled expertly around the pole, letting your body feel the rhythm and going with it. You hadn't been a natural at the pole like some of the girls here. It had taken some getting used to, you hadn't expected your muscles to have protested to it so much. But you’d always been in tune with music and you soon found your feet. You’d been here now for years and you loved it. You weren't like some of the others. You weren't here out of necessity. You weren't here to pay off college or because you would be out on the streets if you didn't. You weren't here so you could pay for your next fix. You were here because you wanted to be. You’d never been ashamed of your body or scared of sexuality. Previous to this, you’d worked retail and lived a boring life like a good little worker ant. You could barely make rent and you’d been stuck in a monotonous cycle as you daydreamed of being free and being able to be yourself. And now, here you were and you loved every moment of it. You had a fancy ass apartment, a great car. You made more in one night than you did one month at your old job and you never looked back. It wasn't just a strip club though. Extra services were offered but the girls were never forced to do it if they didn't feel like it. And for that, you were grateful for Jerry, the owner. You always had a choice here. Nothing was forced on you. And you knew those extras would pay ridiculously well so you rarely turned them down. 

You swayed your hips to the music as you danced, only clad in lacy black panties. There were a number of small podiums around the place, each girl having their own. Some guys would come in and choose a different girl each time, but most of them found they had a favorite and would go to their podium. You had a lot of regulars and you’d admit you were one of the highest-paid girls here. Your eyes locked with dark orbs sitting across from your podium and you felt a thrill run through you. This regular was a little different to all of the others. He’d started coming in a month ago. He never spoke to you like some of them would. Everyone was different. You had guys that loved to tell you all the dirty things as you danced or spoke to them, ones who would always bother to ask how you were doing and some wouldn't speak at all. And this one was the latter. He stood out with the scars all over his face but it didn't detract from his handsomeness at all. His eyes were so dark they looked almost black and they were so intense, they made your heart stutter every time you’d seen him. He’d sit there just watching you intently, like you were the most amazing thing he’d ever witnessed and you fed off it. He intrigued you. Another girl here, one of the more stuck-up ones, had made a comment once about how she'd be ‘scared’ to have him watching her. Said he looked deranged with his messed-up face. You’d punched her in the nose for it. You weren't quite sure why you'd felt the need but you'd done it anyway and she hadn't made a comment since. You’d never even really interacted with him before but there was a pull to him, he was alluring. You'd admit there was a darkness that surrounded him. But you weren't put off by it. It called to you and made you burn for him. He came in to watch you three times a week and every time, you hoped he’d request you after, but he never did. 

You closed your eyes as you let your body feel the music. You loved this song, it was one of yours. Jerry had asked all the girls to pick songs to dance to and they’d play the playlist for you all. It was to keep it fair to everyone. All different types of music and each girl got some songs she liked to dance to. You twirled the pole before standing in front of it, your arms above your head as you arched your back against it and pushed your breasts out. Your eyes locked eyes on the mystery man once more. You tried to avoid it, favoritism wouldn’t pay your rent after all, but you often found yourself watching him and him alone when he was here. You sent him a wry smirk, swaying your hips, and his lips quirked up in a predatory grin that sent a jolt of desire right through you. He’d never done that before. Never done anything other than watch you. His face impassive. His eyes though… well they told you how much he wanted you. You bit your lower lip before forcing yourself to drag your eyes off him and pay some of the other customers attention. The eye contact always got you more tips. When the song ended, you gave him one last lingering look before walking off your podium, putting on a silk black robe and making your way to ‘your’ room. Each girl had a room in the back here that came with a bed. It could be used for resting or extra activities if the girl wanted to. You always kept it neat and tidy, the bed sheets a deep purple color. You took pride in your room, always making it welcoming. You were on your way there when Ellisa came over to you. She was one of the servers. They were different to the dancers and guys weren't allowed to touch them at all, even if they were all prancing around in their underwear. Anyone that dared to break the rule was shown the door and not allowed back. Jerry only wanted trusted customers here and it weeded out the assholes. He ran a good business. 

“Someone’s requested you,” she smirked, toying with an envelope in her hand.

“How much?” you asked curiously. The minimum to pay was $500 for the extras but some guys liked to pay more, especially if they were into some kinky shit. Ellisa smirked even more as she handed you the envelope. You got the money out, counting it quickly and your eyes widened.

“$5000?” you whispered, looking at her incredulously. She grinned at you and shrugged.

“He must really want some of that pussy,” she murmured ruefully, making you snort. 

“Do you know who?” you asked. None of your regulars would offer this much. Ellisa made a slicing motion to her face and you got it instantly. It made your stomach clench with anticipation and excitement and she rolled her eyes goodnaturedly at you at our obvious interest. 

“He’s already in there. I knew you wouldn't be turning him down,” she grinned before rushing off to do her job. 

Your heart hammered away, your body thrumming as you made your way to your room, stuffing the envelope into the pocket of your robe. You took a deep breath before you opened the door. And sure enough, mystery man was perched on the edge of your bed looking antsy. You came in and his deep, dark eyes snapped to you. You didn't break eye contact as you shut the door behind you and leaned against it.

“I wondered when you’d ask for me,” you purred, biting your lip with a coy smile. His lips ticked up into a smirk at your words.

“Is that so?” he asked. His voice felt like honey poured all over you. You’d often wondered what he’d sound like but the real thing was better than anything you could have conjured up. 

“Mhmm. I’m a little put out it took this long,” you shrugged teasingly. He chuckled as he stood and you inhaled a breath. He was so fucking tall and his scars stood out in the dimly lit room, making him look imposing. You loved it. He was wearing a black hoodie and what looked to be a black tee under it. Some jeans and boots. He looked good enough to eat.

“What's your name, handsome?” you asked as you leisurely approached him. He raked his teeth over his lower lip, his eyes sweeping you like he knew what was under your robe. He did for the most part, but he’d be seeing parts of you tonight he’d never been privy to. 

“Billy. What's yours?” he asked curiously as his eyes finally landed back on your face. You’d be a liar if you tried to deny how his gaze affected you. He looked at you like you were different. Special.

“Y/N,” you supplied, stopping just in front of him. You untied your silk robe and let it pool to the floor, now once again only in your black lacy panties. He made no move to touch you as he stared you down.

“Y/N,” he repeated, like he was testing it out. You loved how your name sounded rolling off his tongue.

“So… you paid a pretty penny for this. I presume you had something in mind?” you asked, smoothing your hands up his clothed chest. His eyes darted to your hands, his breathing becoming shallower before he looked back at you.

“Some things. Wanted to bring my knife but they wouldn’t let me bring it in,” he muttered with a dark smirk. He looked almost like he wanted to scare you, but all that happened was your eyes lit up and a pleased smile overtook your face, he looked mildly confused before you moved away, opening your drawer off to the side. When you turned back to face him, you were holding your knife. He let out a delighted and surprised laugh but it quickly turned into a groan when you expertly twirled the knife in your hands.

“You know your way around a knife, sweetheart?” he rasped, his voice low and full of need. It made you ache. 

“I do,” you replied with a smirk. You looked at him, your eyes reflecting how much you wanted him as you trailed the knife down your chest between your breasts. You didn't miss how his Adams apple bobbed or how he seemed to have a sudden issue breathing normally. 

Without warning, he lunged at you, grabbing the knife and spinning you around. Your back was to his chest and he was holding the knife to your throat, the other pinning you against him by your stomach. You let out a sinful moan that made him chuckle.

“I could slit your throat right now,” he growled down your ear, but it did little to scare you. 

“You won't,” you grinned, chest heaving at the excitement. You lay your hand over his, the one on your stomach, and pushed it down and down until his fingers were sliding into your panties. You guided his fingers until he could feel just how much you were enjoying this. You were soaked. He moaned sinfully down your ear and you rubbed your body against him like a cat, uncaring about the cold metal kissing your skin. He toyed with your clit for a small moment and you moaned, reveling in the feeling. But then he was pulling his hand away from you and turning you around, no longer holding the knife to your throat. You felt the loss immediately. He was staring you down with a feral glint in his eyes that made you feel like you'd drown if you didn't have him soon. And without breaking eye contact, he threw the knife across the room and it embedded into the wooden headboard with a thunk. 

“Fuck,” you murmured breathlessly, a delighted smile toying on your lips. 

Then he was on you. The kiss was all tongue and teeth, ferocious as he consumed you from the inside out. Your hands rushed to rid him of his clothes. He’d already made quick work of your panties, literally ripping them off, and you felt like you were playing catch-up to get him as naked as you were. Once you were both undressed, he backed you up and pushed you onto the bed. He crawled on after you, a wicked glint in his eye as he settled between your open thighs. He pulled the knife back out from where it was in the headboard, it caught the light and your heart was thumping away so hard you could hear it in your ears. He bit his lower lip hard as he trailed the knife across your chest, much like you had to yourself. Then it danced along the skin of the swell of your breast. Your hand came up without much thought, staring at him as you pressed it, pushing the knife into your skin a little. It wasn’t enough for a medical emergency but it was enough to slice it and draw blood. It elicited a mix between a moan and a gasp from Billy and you soaked in his reaction as he stared at you. He had a strange look on his face. Like he couldn't quite work out what was going on or who you were. He swallowed thickly, eyes darting to the slightly oozing cut on your breast, but then he leaned down and licked it up. You gasped, eyes falling shut as you arched up to him. 

“Do it again,” you whispered needily. He was lapping at your cut as his eyes looked up to you.

“Please,” you added with a coy smile. He lifted his head a little, a sly smirk painting his lips before he obliged, making another cut below the previous one. You moaned at the pain, writhing under him as he eagerly started licking at it again. He kept at it, leaving teasing little cuts he’d lavish with his tongue as he moved further and further down your body and you felt like you were on your way to nirvana. The knife then kissed the skin of your inner thigh and the thrill increased. It was a dangerous game and you knew that. Your femoral artery was right there and you knew what would happen if he nicked it. You weren't scared though and he locked eyes with you for a moment before cutting your thigh. It was less deep than the others, the blood only pin-pricking on some spots where the skin had broken. He groaned as he leaned down, sucking on it. The knife was then laying on the bed next to him as he left a flurry of marks all over your thighs and you loved every second of it. There was no warning as he started licking vigorously at your clit and you gasped, back arching as your hands flew to his short-cropped hair. He sucked on your clit and you moaned, pressing his head closer to you as you squirmed under him and made him groan. 

You felt a fire burning inside of you as he used his mouth to make you moan, his hands gripping your thighs to keep you in place as you couldn't keep still. You threw your head back, moans getting higher in frequency and pitch as you felt yourself getting closer to release. Not long later, you were crying out, back bowing as you fell over the ledge he had you dangling off. He moved away, mouth slick with your juices as he licked his lips. His eyes were wild and you wanted him to ruin you. He left sloppy wet kisses up your body until he was hovering over your mouth but not kissing you.

“My turn, sweetheart,” he purred, voice sounding raw with need. The knife was then pressed into your hand and you knew just what he wanted. It made your eyes sparkle with delight as you moved to sit up and he lay down. You straddled him, trapping his hard and wanting cock with your slick heat and making him moan softly. You smirked down at him, twirling the knife around again. His eyes flared dangerously at you and you loved it. You stared right at him as you brought the knife to your mouth, licking your blood off the flat part of it. The noise he made had your head spinning. You moved the knife to his smooth skin then, slicing the skin above his nipple like he had with you. He let out a dirty moan as you did and you leaned down, licking it up with a mewl. You strategically cut him in the same places he had you, loving every little noise or reaction he made as you did. You mimicked him perfectly, right up to the marks on the thighs when you were done with the knife. By this point, he was breathing erratically and you loved knowing you had this effect on him. You licked a stripe up his large, hard cock and he groaned, arching up as his hand went to your hair. You grabbed him, giving him no warning before you took him into your mouth all the way until he hit the back of your throat and your nose was pressed against him. The noise he made was filthy and you wondered if you might cum again without even being touched. You worked him over with your mouth, enjoying every noise you drew from him as he arched up, making sure you took him all the way in each time. Every time he hit the back of your throat, he made sure to hold you there for a moment as your throat spasmed around him. The grip on your hair was wonderfully tight and you allowed him to fuck your mouth for a moment before you let your mouth slide off him with a pop. You knew some guys could have multiple orgasms although it was rare and needed some recovery time. But you didn't know if he was one of them and you weren't ready for this to be over yet. 

You moved to straddle him again, lifting up a little before lining him up. You slid down onto him with ease with how wet you were and the pair of you moaned at the relief. You started bouncing on his cock and his hands slid up your body, touching anywhere he could. Your cuts had bled again and his hands were smearing it all over you. Painting you with it. His hands then moved to your hips, seemingly finding you weren't going hard or fast enough as he started guiding you up and down even faster. The sound of skin hitting skin floated to your ears as he used your body to bring him pleasure and you couldn't stop any of your desperate moans. Your nails bit into the skin of his chest and he let out a dirty groan, giving you a hard thrust as you did. He sat up quickly, one hand gripping the back of your neck and the other your ass as his lips claimed yours once more. It was brutal and demanding and you gave into it willingly. The angle made your clit rub against him with each thrust and your head fell back in pleasure. He sunk his teeth into the delicate flesh of your neck and you hoped you'd be full of marks when he was done with you. You rapidly felt yourself coming undone around him once more, squirming on top of him with a keening moan. You felt dazed but very aware that he'd stilled and that he hadn't cum yet.  You blinked at him curiously and the grin he gave you was menacing.

"I'm not done with you yet," he smirked devilishly. Suddenly, he was moving you off him and positioning you on your hands and knees. You felt a hard stinging sensation on your right ass cheek and gasped in delight, pressing your forehead into the purple sheets.

"Harder," you begged helplessly, moaning as he obliged. The burning pleased something inside of you. He pushed into you once more and you moaned desperately as he set a punishing rhythm with you. Each thrust felt like it was forcing the air out of your lungs. 

He gripped your hair and tugged on it, chuckling through his moans at the noise you made. He used your hair to pull you to sit up, still fucking you relentlessly.

"Like it rough, sweetheart?" He growled into your ear.

"Yes, yes, yes!" You chanted hopelessly, your head spinning in the best way. You whined when he suddenly pulled out of you and let your hair go but then you were being roughly shoved onto your back. He gave your brain no time to understand what was going on before he slammed right back into you and you gasped. You felt on the edge of delirium as he started rutting into you like an animal, making the headboard slam against the wall. The wild look in his eyes and the noises he was making made you think he felt the same.

"Billy… I… I need…" you gasped brokenly between your moans. He leaned one arm near your head for leverage as the other gripped your jaw so hard you really hoped he left bruises. 

"I got you, baby. I know what you need," he moaned, his hand trailing down from your jaw to your throat. He applied enough pressure to cut your air supply off and you bucked wildly under him, pleasure ramping up even more. He'd squeeze until you were light-headed, feeling like you were teetering on the edge of passing out, before he eased his grip and let you greedily suck in air. When he was squeezing your throat, your moans were strangled, but when you could breathe, they were broken and keening. The noises he was making as he watched you were pornographic.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Such a good girl for me,” he moaned sinfully, fully shoving you over the edge. Your lips parted with a raw moan as you exploded, feeling like you had nothing left to give him after this as your body seemed to give out. Thankfully, he let out a few guttural moans, ferally thrusting into you a few more times before he filled you up deliciously.

He let you breathe, his forehead resting on yours for a moment as your heaving breaths mingled together. He pulled out of you and collapsed beside you and you felt like you'd gone to heaven. You idly wondered if he had slit your throat and all of this hadn't really happened. You were waiting for him to get up and leave. It's how it usually went. It didn't matter how rough it usually was, although it had never been like this, they never stuck around after. Aftercare didn't exist here and you didn't mind it anymore. You were used to it. So you were surprised when he turned you on your side, him also on his side as he looked at you. His dark eyes seemed calmer now as he watched you carefully. His fingers delicately trailed the cuts on your breasts that had started to scab. You watched him curiously, your body spent in the best way. He leaned over, capturing your lips in a kiss. It wasn't as hard as the others. This one was slow but no less sensual as his tongue explored what felt like every inch of your mouth. You melted into him, humming into the kiss. When he pulled away, he shot you a smirk like he was admiring his handiwork. 

Without a word, he got up and started dressing. You knew you needed to get up. After blowing your mind the way he did, it would be rude to not at least walk him to the door.  You stood on shaky legs and grabbed your robe, tying it around yourself. You felt ready to collapse into a heap at a moment's notice. When he was fully dressed, he walked over to where you were at the door. You'd started to wonder if he'd leave without saying anything as he opened the door, but then he turned back to you, watching you with those expressive eyes for a second.

"I'll see you real soon, Y/N," he smirked darkly, his voice holding all kinds of sinful promises you wanted him to keep.

"I'm counting on it," you replied, your voice a little scratchy from the choking. His grin widened in a predatory manner and you felt breathless. He grabbed the knot of your robe and tugged you the small distance to him. You almost fell into him with how tired you felt and your hands came to his chest. His hand gripped your jaw possessively as he kissed you hard on the lips and you mewled softly. He moved away, quirking an amused brow at your pathetic state before he slipped out of the door. You blinked at it for a moment before wandering back to your bed and flopping onto it. Your hands absentmindedly stroked one of the cuts he'd left you, a dopey smile on your face. You wondered if it would scar. You hoped it would. Would he have matching scars with you? You drifted to sleep, wondering how long you had to wait before you saw him again.