#currently this game is like an opposite da2

[deankarolina]

there really is no point why varric is in this game so far

[vaamiel]

My commissions are open!

I drew my dragon age protagonists!

I love them all so much 🥹 I figure I might as well write a lil about them so more info below the cut!

(this is quite long so be warned!)

Athon Surana is my warden!

He's a crunchy little bookworm who would much rather be researching or reading than fighting (or sleeping. Or eating. Or brushing his hair. Pretty much anything else).

He's an arcane warrior. Not because he wanted to be a frontline fighter or wield a sword, but literally because it requires less effort and thought than casting spells in combat. That's not to say he's a bad mage - quite the opposite in fact - but he doesn't want to spend the mental energy on fighting when he could much rather use his brain for Other Things.

Zevran is the love of his life, though I think them getting together is more incidental than anything else. Athon would likely have never sought companionship from anyone at all if he was left to his own devices, but he enjoys the time he spends with zev very much!

I imagine he's currently buried under a pile of books somewhere in Weisshaupt. The events of DAD will absolutely happen around him and he won't even bother to stick his head out of the library.

Garrett Hawke is.. well, you know

I love the default name and appearance for Garrett. The more I play DA2 the more it sticks as the only option for his appearance in my mind 🥲

I think my headcanons for him stick pretty close to canon - maybe with the exception I imagine him being even more pro-mage (perhaps even slightly racial) compared to the options you're provided in-game?

Anders is his romance and Garrett is very much All In on his ideals. Tbh I DO headcanon that he put together the plan about the chantry explosion and never stepped in because he supported the action.

I imagine he and Anders are off galavanting around Weisshaupt, waiting for Athon to finish developing a cure for the taint (and annoying Carver until the end of his days, certainly).

Lennox Trevelyan is my latest inquisitor!

He's the oldest of my three inquisitors, and incidentally the oldest of his siblings as well. Getting sent to the tower at a young age was frustrating and I think he held a lot of resentment toward his family and the circle for being caged as he was.

He also lost his faith during his years in the circle, which was quite jarring for someone raised in such a devout family.

That Lennox never saw any of his siblings or his parents again really Messed Him Up for a long time, and left him with a little bit of an inferiority complex and a smidge of abandonment issues 🥲

The inquisition (and his role in it) made things both better and worse - the power never went to his head, but he was certainly a bit of a radicalist when it came to freedom for mages and equality amongst all those under his command.

His romance is Dorian, and tbh with his disbanding of the inquisition, I imagine he went chasing after him to Tevinter (darn abandonment issues strike again), acting as a liaison for Leliana as divine.

Ashiriel Lavellan is my middle child with a weird AU backstory

SO Ashiriel is my one character that breaks a lot of the established lore. She was inspired by an au I built for myself and then never posted anywhere around... 2018? Where Dorian fled Tevinter with the help of the chargers a year or so early.

Ashiriel never imagined herself a mage. She made it 25 years without any magic manifesting, then during a traumatic incident when caught by some nasty noblemen in the forest, she lit them on fire (and half of herself too).

Basically, to cut an incredibly long-winded backstory short, she was rescued by bull and Dorian after they stumbled upon her. The chargers stayed with clan Lavellan for a time, helping Ashiriel heal and defending them as they moved away from Wycome etc.

They don't meet again until the tear etc, but all this sort of informed how I built Ashiriel in the game!

Cullen is Ashiriel's husband and I imagine they live happily ever after in the woods of ferelden, mutually healing from their extensive trauma 😌

Veren was my first inquisitor!

Veren is a precious little baby, new to the world just like me lmao. We both knew nothing going in to inquisition, so I was a stupid dumb dumb idiot and romanced Solas on my first playthrough with her.

We're both not over it.

Veren is a rogue (the only non-mage out of all my protags haha), but because she loved and trusted Solas, she kind of worked heeding his advice the whole game.

The one exception would be the well of sorrows - still reeling from the breakup she decided to ignore him that one time and... Well, we'll see what happens there, I suppose.

You bet your ass she's chasing that stupid egg across Thedas and beyond. Veren is hella determined and will stop at nothing to try to redeem Solas. Or maybe she's in denial, hard to say.

Anyway, I think that's it! If you managed to sit through all this rambling, thanks! Let me know what you think!

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #91: Modern Girl in Thedas, but make it DA2

In honor of DA:V coming out next month I've been replaying DA:I. This is something of a trial because, having just finished a Hogwarts Legacy replay, it's easy to tell that this game is 10 years old - that, and I loved how focused and intimate DA2 feels. Yes, it has world-spanning implications, but it's really all about this guy trying to do his best by his friends and his family. I love it, and DA:I never inspired the same kind of feels.

All of which is a long way of saying: I got to thinking about that most famous of tropes, Modern Girl in Thedas, and I thought about how would I handle it?

Or: What if the MGiT were to appear in Kirkwall shortly before the Fifth Blight?

Just imagine it:

Rather than a true self-insert, I see this more as modern woman meets Thedas, with a middle-aged fan of the Dragon Age series waking up in the body of an unnamed background character in a Hightown estate sometime in early 9:30 following a severe illness. The keyword here is fan - the SI has played the games, read the fic, and glanced at the wiki, but couldn't write out a clear timeline or recall most codex entries.

The SI eventually learns that she's woken up in the body of Sofia Vidal, the 15-year-old daughter of the richest merchant in Kirkwall. Their family has a virtual monopoly on cloth trade on the northern cost of the Waking Sea and has distant ties to Orlesian Nobility as well as the Amells. Their Hightown estate abuts the future Hawke Estate, and if the term robber baron existed in Thedas it would probably apply to here them.

Now, going from the body of a middle-aged engineer from the modern world into the body of a teenager in a Medieval fantasy world is difficult... but luckily no one seems to notice, because it seems doubtful that anyone has ever noticed Sofia Vidal in her life, her family included. She was mousy and shy and easily startled and apparently an endless disappointment to the family for being more fond of books than hunting or fighting.

Because, as Sofia soon discovers, the Vidal family has aspirations. They can read the writing on the wall with regards to the current Viscount and are willing to go to any end to have their family be named the viscountcy.

To which end: Sofia is the youngest of seven children. Three died in the cradle or soon after. Her oldest brother - Gaspare, her senior by nearly twenty years - spends most of his time in Orlais with his titled wife, running the family business interests there. Their other two living siblings are mages, with Amalia sent to the Kirkwall Circle while her twin Agnese went to the Circle at Dairsmuid. It had been their father's hope that, should they not be able to secure the viscountcy themselves, one of his children could marry into the line... but Sofia is so unlikely to catch anyone's eye that her father despairs of her ever marrying at all.

All of which brings us back to the events of DA2.

Sofia may not know much, but she knows that the Blight is coming. She also knows that the conditions in Darktown are horrendous and only about to get worse as refugees flood the cities, so she buys a book on healing, collects some herbs, and sets up shop on the opposite side of Darktown from where Anders had his clinic. It's better than sitting around the estate all day and makes her feel like her transmigration has a purpose.

The events of canon proceed apace...

...which is something of a surprise, because for a long while it's quite easy for Sofia to forget that she's in a video game world at all. That is, until Anders appears at her door looking to swap healing recipes, trade potions, and - eventually - share a drink at the end of the day.

It's through Anders that she meets Garrett Hawke - a cheerfully sarcastic force mage of breathtaking power. He's the sort of powerful it would be easy to fear if he wasn't so affable and in control of his gifts. The idea that he could probably take over Kirkwall through sheer power of his magic and personality alone never seems to occur to him - which is good, because he could probably be DA's answer to Alexander the Great if he cared to try.

Sofia doesn't join the Kirkwall crew, however. She does her healing, gleefully watches their antics from the sidelines, and occasionally joins them for a drink at the Hanged Man.

Though she is the first to welcome the Hawkes to Hightown at the end of Act I, becoming quite close with Leandra. (For many years Leandra will harbor the hope that Sofia and her son will marry and give her many grandchildren to dote over, but neither are inclined that way. Especially after it's revealed they're third cousins.)

Sofia turns 19 in 9:34, the year Hawke becomes Champion.

It's also the year Sofia is introduced to Sebastian Vael, being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night to attend the prince, who is bleeding out in the foyer of Hawke's home following the events of Repentance. It's not the first time this has happened - Sofia's bedroom is infinitely closer than Ander's clinic - but it is perhaps the most embarrassing.

Embarrassing, because she prefers not to be introduced to royalty in her nightclothes. Sofia has standards - not many, mind, but she has them.

Luckily for her, Sebastian is far too out of it to recall what she was wearing. But he can't help but develop a crush on the kind healer who so diligently tended his wounds - one who also ministers to the poor and downtrodden, though she could easily choose to live a life of luxury.

What follows falls somewhere between the canon friend and rival romances. We get a Sebastian who wants to regain Starkhaven because Sofia deserves no less than a Prince but who has the calm and pro-mage sympathies of the friendship route.

But that of course takes time, because Sofia's not convinced at first that Sebastian's crush has nothing to do with seeing her in her nightclothes. (Nor, for that matter, does she particularly care for the idea of a chaste marriage or an aggressively anti-mage spouse. She'd not been a particular fan of Sebastian in the game, but hadn't hated him either.)

Canon proceeds apace. Hawke becomes Champion, Kirkwall is left without a viscount, and Sofia's father tries to marry her off to however looks most likely to succeed Dumar this week.

As the chaos mounts, the soft, slow romance between Sofia and Sebastian is a breath of fresh air. On Sebastian's part, it grows from a seed of fondness - and, yes, lust - to genuine affection as he gets to know Sofia. For her part, by the time Sofia realizes she cares for Sebastian she's already in deep. Its friendship turned to love, which is the best and strongest.

They wed in a small ceremony in 9:36, only telling Sofia's father after the fact. As Sebastian has to leave the Chantry to do so, they're forced to camp out at Hawke's estate for several weeks before finding a small place of their own. This is awkward - mostly because the Vidal estate right next door and Sofia's father is a pompous ass on the best of days.

As the calendar turns to 9:37, matters reach their tipping point. Anders blows up the Kirkwall Chantry and Hawke is forced to kill him in hopes of restoring order. This fails and events of the endgame play out with Hawke siding with the mages.

Hawke goes on the run, helping mages across the Free Marches get to safety.

Sebastian makes good on his promise of taking back Starkhaven for Sofia, making her a princess in truth. The city becomes a sanctuary district for many of the mages in northern Thedas, much as Redcliffe was for the mages in the south. This doesn't prevent the events of DA:I, but halves the numbers of conscripts available for Alexius to conscript later. They send forces to help Kirkwall rebuild... but the city is still lawless and in turmoil when the Conclave occurs in 9:40.

Per Sofia's urging, Sebastian helps the Inquisition in its early days... though she does make it clear that she thinks the Inquisition's only aim should be to close the Breach.

But for the most part Sebastian and Sofia end up living fairly happily in Starkhaven. They have a larger family than Sofia ever imagined herself wanting - 5 kids, but magical epidurals are a wonderful thing. It's not a utopia, but it's the best that can be expected given the politics of the time. Their eldest succeeds their father as Prince of Starkhaven while their next oldest, not to be outdone, eventually gets themselves named Viscount of Kirkwall - just as the Vidal family had always dreamed.

Bonuses include:

Sofia becoming deeply, deeply over-invested in the relationship between Hawke and Fenris. So much so that for a while Sebastian thinks she's interested in one or the other or both and resolves to let her pursue her happiness without any interference from him, only to have it knocked into his head by a third-party that Sofia doesn't want be with them, she wants them to be with each other. This should be played for maximum humor and confusion.

An exceptionally complicated relationship with the Chantry. Sebastian is very much a committed Andrastian, whereas Sofia was agnostic at best in the modern world. Are demons and magic and the Breech proof that the Maker exists? Should she follow the rituals of the religion for Sebastian's sake or be honest about her beliefs? Can she open her mind enough to give Andrastianism an honest try? &c.

Sofia coming to view Leandra as second mother. Though she tries her best to prevent the events of All That Remains, she's not a fighter. All she's able to do is injure Quentin and alert Hawke to the problem sooner; Leandra still dies, but it's before Quentin is able to reanimate his perfect bride.

An engineer being forced to come to terms with magic. It makes the transition to a world at Middle Ages level of scientific advancement easier than it otherwise would be (magically running water!) but still makes Sofia's basic knowledge of germ theory a great leap forward in her Darktown clinic; and

Sofia gaining a reputation for being a great storyteller by blatantly stealing stories from the modern world to entertain children at her clinic. Varric eventually "borrows" some of these ideas and ends up writing the DA version of Harry Potter set in a fictional Circle in the years leading up to the mage rebellion.

And that is surprisingly more than I had. To be frank, the Sebastian romance snuck up on me because it's not one I usually go for, but the muse wants what it wants. As always, feel free to adopt this bun - just link back if you do anything with it.

More DA Ideas | More SI Ideas | More Terrible Fic Ideas

[lords-of-fortune]

okok now i will throw you gideon bc he is the opposite of faron lmao diplomatic, very devout andrastian mage. didn't join the mage rebellion and was a loyalist in the circle, went to the conclave to speak on behalf of the loyalists. soft-spoken and introverted. he shares viviennes beliefs for the most part but not her ambition. brought the templars on as full allies to the inquisition (he does want reform but not to abolish them). diplomatic, enjoys deep discussions, but ultimately self-righteous and stubborn. somewhat of a pacifist (as much as he can be as inquisitor lol), prone to being judgy but generally curious about the world

Okay well I absolutely have to add rodaine to this mix lol

Rodaine and Gideon are in the mutual Judgy Zone. Given that Gideon is soft-spoken and introverted I think that would offset Rodaine's inclination to get confrontational about it, so he probably wouldn't like, deck him but he definitely would not be particularly friendly rip.

Tierce Would get confrontational about it, 100%. He (probably) wouldn't throw hands unless Gideon said something particularly egregious but he might get in his face about things and threaten to bite.

I think he Would get along alright with Alding. He's pretty Andrastian as well, and as a non-mage he has a lot less skin in the game and though he'd probably come down a bit more on the pro-freedom side, he's a lot less emotional about it and would be interested in a deep discussion about it rather than a fight about it. They might not 100% agree, but Alding would be civil about it.

Darien is less Fighty than Tierce and is a bit of a people pleaser as I've said so he'd be. Silently miffed about the pro-circle stuff but he'd probably kinda just. Ignore and avoid that topic lol. As long as Gideon isn't talking about it all the time, they might be able to find some common ground on other things (I do think Darien is at least a bit more Andrastian than Tierce at least at the beginning of da2 lmao so that might be a safe-ish topic)

Halen has a little more skin in the mage freedom game than Alding since his sister is a mage and he hasn't seen her in like a decade so he might get a little prickly about it (I promise I'll do a pro-templar playthrough eventually lmao) but given his current peace with Vivienne in his playthrough (helped along by him giving her the correct heart bc he is notna total asshole) he'd probably be pretty chill with Gideon as well. He's also Andrastian but Weird about it so maybe some deep discussion about religion could help him make some peace with his feelings about it. Overall, I think I mentioned in Faron's ask that he likes hearing other people's opinions even if they differ from his own, so I think they'd be able to have a civil debate and not be at each other's throats lol.

I forgot to add Nennril to Faron's ask (they'd probably get along) but they have beef with Viv so they'd probably have the same amount of beef with Gideon because they are fervently pro-mage rights and not particularly Andrastian and they HATE being judged. They would. Avoid him like the plague <3

One of these days I'll make a character who would love AND agree with him but most of my boys are unfortunately feral

[morganaseren]

Warden Niamh/Warden Bethany AU

So because there seemed to be interest in the idea, I decided to expand on the second prompt on this list of AUs I made for Bethany and my Niamh Cousland.

Since Bethany is a Circle Mage in Niamh’s canon verse, I really wanted to experiment with Bethany in one of her other potential routes We don’t talk about the ones where she died not long after escaping Lothering or down in the Deep Roads. Like, what are you talking about? Lalala~ and see if I could work together a happier ending than what the games canonically gave her.

Like most of the AUs I’ve already written about though, this is just a snippet into the verse, so it’s not as polished as I’d like it to be, and the pacing isn’t on par with my main fic. However, there are still 50+ pages for your reading pleasure! Depending on reader interest, I’ll be more than happy to write more about this or other AUs once OtSttCA is completed.

Disclaimer: Any section written in present tense beneath the Read More contains notes or scenes that I’ve yet to expand upon properly.

CliffNotes version of what goes on:

This whole thing takes place sometime after Bethany becomes a Grey Warden and continues on through the years-long breaks between the Acts of DA2. The epilogue will be set sometime after the Trespasser DLC is completed.

Niamh is the Grey Warden who Morrigan chooses to do the Dark Ritual with, and through the obvious use of magic, Kieran is conceived. Because of this, Niamh’s sister Saoirse escapes her otherwise canonical death and gets to be happily married to Leliana.

Because of their mutual respect for one another, and the fact that Niamh went through the trouble of finding Morrigan through the events of the Witch Hunt DLC (she was worried about her friend and their son), she and Morrigan remain in close contact and co-parent Kieran together. Their relationship is often mistaken as a romantic one though.

Bethany eventually falls in love with Niamh over the years, but because she believes the other woman is in a relationship with Morrigan, she keeps her feelings to herself. As such, this is obviously going to be a slow burn romance much like OtSttCA.

Bethany only confesses (albeit by accident) when Niamh nearly dies during a darkspawn ambush when the two woman accidentally find themselves trapped down in the Deep Roads.

There’s a romantic kiss out in the rain along with a semi-NSFW scene later on, which explains why the Read More is in place beyond the fact that this is already super long despite the fact that it’s unfinished...

They both go off in search of the cure to The Calling not long after the Kirkwall Rebellion, and they both eventually get married sometime after the Trespasser DLC with Divine Victoria (spoilers: it’s Leliana) officiating their wedding.

Interested so far? Click below to read more!

“You’re originally from Ferelden, no?” Stroud asked, drawing Bethany’s attention from where she’d been listlessly staring at the cobblestones as they walked away from Amaranthine’s sea port.

The city itself seemed to be thriving with fishmongers and traders of all kinds rattling off their wares to passersby. Save for the workers carrying about lumber and other building materials, one might not have even believed that Amaranthine had suffered its fair share of woes during the onset of the Fifth Blight or the consequent, mysterious darkspawn attack upon its walls nearly a year later. Still, the denizens of the arling were ever a hearty people. For whatever hardship befell them, they continued to persevere. 

She supposed she couldn’t bring herself to be too surprised by that.

The Storm Coast had spawned some of Thedas’ most fearsome raiders once upon a time, and they had proven the bane of Orlais in the rebellion that had spanned over half an Age. For the empire’s trespass upon their freedom, they had fought back with a ruthlessness that matched the raging waves of the sea that was as much a home to them as the land. In the face of such an unsympathetic enemy, they depended on one another to see themselves and each other through to another day. Such faith eventually earned them the liberation they had long sought against Orlais.

Bethany could still see evidence of such camaraderie in the way the people greeted one another so whole-heartedly, stopping to make conversation or help with the transportation of wares. It was such interaction that she’d miss in all the time she’d been away.

Kirkwall had lacked such sincere enthusiasm.

Still, in the two years since she’d left it, she was finally back home, but Bethany knew it was yet another decision she hadn’t had a say in. She hadn’t agreed to returning to Ferelden any more than she had agreed to becoming a Grey Warden. Her jaw clenched, remembering how her sister had simply handed her over to them even when faced with the proposition that they’d likely never see one another again.

Was it really so easy for you to leave me behind, Sister? she thought bitterly, and perhaps upon sensing her melancholy, Stroud changed the subject.

“I realize it seems a rather abrupt choice in returning you here, but what I seek is far too dangerous for someone so new to our way of life to accompany me with,” he explained. “I’m meeting with the Warden-Commander of the Fereldan branch so that I might share some information in the event that things go awry. Their group is smaller than the ones seen across Thedas, but no one can deny their efficiency.” Stroud spared a small chuckle at that. “A bit like your sister and her crew, I suppose; I thought perhaps you would be more comfortable in such a setting.”

It had been a thoughtful suggestion; Bethany knew that. Still, she couldn’t help but sigh. She had always felt that the individuals whom had made up her little social circle were more Emrys’ friends than they had ever been hers. Her older sister had the type of presence to draw anyone to her with her rakish charm and absolute battle prowess.

…which was the exact opposite of her.

As an apostate, it was far easier to stay out of trouble by being unobtrusive. If she gave the Templars no reason to suspect her, she wouldn’t be taken away from her family and the quiet life she had always known. Yet, for all her trouble—and for all her desperation to abide by the rules of a society that had long hated mages like her—she had found herself alone anyway.

Bethany sighed as she looked down at the blues and silvers of the brigandine and tabard of her outfit that signified her status as a Grey Warden. Even with her staff openly displayed across her back, she supposed she no longer had to fear being turned into the authorities. Save for a few curious glances, no one so much as batted an eye at them.

She wasn’t entirely convinced this new life was better than the one she’d left. She could have dealt with the ever-present uncertainty in Kirkwall and the endless, interpersonal squabbles of their ragtag group than spending the remainder of her years surrounded by strangers and fighting darkspawn.

But the choice wasn’t hers to make.

Very little ever was.

---

“So that’s Velanna. She took over as Archivist for our branch when the Warden-Constable was promoted to her current position by our Commander,” Nathaniel said as he took Bethany and Stroud through a tour of Vigil’s Keep since the fortress’ respective Warden-Commander and Warden-Constable were currently out on business.

Their latest stop was a library filled with seemingly endless rows of bookshelves and even more that lined the walls of the chamber that consisted of three separate levels. It was impressive, and Bethany was half-convinced she could have spent an Age in this room alone and never be able to read the entirety of its collection.

At Nathaniel’s commentary, she spared a cursory glance at the woman writing intently at one of the tables furthest away from them, paying little mind to her audience. As was typical of most elves, Velanna was a slight woman. Her hair was a shade of blonde so pale that it was nearly white, but there was a surliness in her pensive expression that gave Bethany pause. It was something that suggested the other woman didn’t welcome the company of others easily, and she seemed to have been proven right by Nathaniel’s words.

“Don’t mind her if she’s a bit standoffish at first. Velanna’s usually that way with everyone until she starts warming up to them,” he assured.

“Oh?”

“Yes. She didn’t really like humans all that much to begin with—hardly a surprise considering how terrible some of them were toward her former clan. Truthfully, I think the only people she really respects are our commanding officers—the Constable mostly though.” He spared a soft chuckle at that. “Granted, the Warden-Commander could lead a damn army from one side of Thedas to the other, but only her sister has the type of negotiation skills that could somehow end up with a High Dragon allied with a sheep of all things.”

“Probably a good thing,” said Varel—the Keep’s seneschal. There was amusement in his dark eyes as he stroked his beard, which had long grown grey with age. “Actually succeeding in getting the Warden-Constable angry is a terrifying sight to behold.”

“Please don’t remind me; I still have nightmares from our first meeting…” Nathaniel muttered with a shudder.

Bethany found that curious, but before she could begin to question him, she saw how he blinked at further movement inside the library. She followed his gaze to see that a dark-haired, dwarven woman had entered through one of the side entrances, carrying two, steaming mugs. One had been set before Velanna, who whispered something quietly, but both of Bethany’s brows rose when she saw how the elf’s cheeks quickly reddened by the kiss that had been pressed to them by her latest visitor.

“Ah. And that’s Sigrun there—another one of those few, honored individuals who Velanna won’t immediately snap at,” Nathaniel remarked humorously.

The tour then continued elsewhere with the party entering the Mess Hall. While neat and tidy, it would have otherwise been unremarkable were it not for the lone dwarf snoring loudly atop one of the tables—an empty cask by his side. Bethany and Stroud shared bemused glances while Varel only cursed next to them, running a weary hand down his face.

“I told you we needed better locks for the cellar if we’re to keep Oghren away from the wine stores,” Nathaniel deadpanned.

Oghren grumbled nonsensically in his sleep before promptly rolling off the table and right onto the floor, loudly overturning more than a few chairs in the process. Despite the fall, he continued to doze away, and his snoring only seemed to grow in volume. They then watched as the poor seneschal wearily hauled the dwarf back to his quarters before he could cause another incident in front of their guests.

“…well, that was Oghren,” Nathaniel muttered, rubbing the back of his neck with a weary sigh. “Quite the interesting fellow, that one. With him, you’ve pretty much met every Warden in the Keep save for—”

He was interrupted by the sound of voices coming down the hallway.

“I told you that I’m more than capable of walking on my own!” protested a feminine voice, irritation evident within it.

“Says the woman who was nearly side-swiped off a cliff by an ogre,” came the deeper timbre of another woman’s amused reply.

Unlike Nathaniel or herself, the latest arrivals didn’t seem to bear the typical, Fereldan accent or even Stroud’s Orlesian one from what she could tell. Bethany could hear how some of the vowels lilted somewhat as they spoke.

“It didn’t really give me any choice in the matter,” was the dry response. “It was either stand before its charge or risk the family in the wagon being swept over the edge instead.”

“I was hardly questioning your bravery, Sister. The people in that caravan certainly wouldn’t, but perhaps leave the more death-defying stunts to those of us with the armor to handle it, hm? I shudder to think what our brother or Aunt Eithne (writer’s note: pronounced Eth-Nah) would say once they find out about this...”

“Perhaps that you were lazing about while I was doing all the work as per usual.”

“Hey!”

Two women appeared in the doorway of the Mess Hall then, and Bethany was startled to find that one of them rivaled her older sister in both height and size. She was a warrior through and through if the impressive greatsword over her shoulder and her overall physique was any indication. Her mane of hair was the color of pale wheat, the length of which was held in a braid that trailed down half her back, and her eyes were a deep, stormy grey. The woman she was carrying—her sister, according to their conversation—was much slighter in comparison.

Rather than sharing in the warrior’s blonde-haired looks, hers was a stark, raven-black. The loose curls trailed to roughly chin-length with a longer fringe that covered one of her eyes—the color a whisper of smoke than the darker grey her sister had. The woman’s arms were also crossed over her chest as she regarded her sister—deeply-unimpressed—before her features cleared at the sight of their visitors.

“Ah. Stroud. Glad to see you and your companion made it across the Waking Sea safely. We weren’t expecting you both for at least another day, or we’d have sent an escort to meet you at the port.”

“No need for the trouble. The winds were kind during our voyage, Warden-Constable,” he said before tilting his head in concern. “Although it appears we’ve arrived too late to help you both. Has the darkspawn presence been more troubling as of late?”

The warrior whom Bethany deduced to be the Warden-Commander merely snorted. “They’re not as plentiful as they were a year ago thankfully. With Niamh’s and Velanna’s respective magic, our branch here has slowly been sealing any access tunnels we’ve come across, but our enemy may just be as awful as vermin with how they manage to reappear in other areas.”

“The incidents have been isolated so far as we can tell, but they’re capable of disrupting travel all the same. On that note…” The Constable trailed off as she turned her gaze toward the Warden who had been showing them about the Keep. “Nathaniel, we have guests from the caravan mentioned earlier. As it’s getting rather late, Saoirse and I decided it was best not to press our luck by letting them travel so soon after the darkspawn attack. Could you and Varel direct them to the guest quarters? We’ll arrange an escort for them to Amaranthine first thing in the morning.”

He pressed a fist over his heart respectfully as he bowed his head. “Of course.”

“Wonderful. Now—”

“Now we get you back to your quarters so that we can tend to your injuries,” her sister interrupted, cheerily grinning when it led to the other woman scowling outright, as if she had been reminded of her current position.

“And I’m more than capable of walking there on my own. Put me down!”

“And risk you further injuring yourself? What type of sister would I be if I were to allow that to happen? Now then!” The Commander directed a smile Bethany’s way, and she jerked in place at the sudden attention. “You’re the latest to join our Order, aren’t you? Stroud mentioned you were a mage. I don’t suppose you know any healing magic, do you?”

“Oh.” Bethany blinked. “Um, well, yes. I have some experience with it.” She had tended to her sister’s and their friends’ injuries often enough back in Kirkwall.

“Excellent. Would you mind tending to Niamh here as best as you can while I go find Velanna? I’m pretty sure my sister fractured a few ribs in that fight earlier.” She chuckled. “And don’t worry if she gives you any trouble; she has a history of being a terrible patient,” she added, earning a pained grunt for her troubles when the woman in question elbowed her sharply in the chest.

---

And before Bethany knew it, she found herself alone with the Warden-Constable in her quarters.

She was trying not to blush at the sight of the woman reclined against the propped pillows at the headboard of the bed. Modesty didn’t seem to be an issue for the other mage. Without another word, she had undressed—with a few occasional winces here and there as the movement pulled at her injuries—and was now bare from the waist up, save for the bindings around her breasts.

Bethany couldn’t help her own wince when she saw the livid bruising that covered the right side of the woman’s torso. It almost looked like the trunk of a tree had been slammed against it if the abrasions and bits of bark embedded into the cuts were any indication.

And she kept insisting to try and walk on her own with an injury like this? she thought in absolute disbelief before delicately pressing the tips of her fingers against the bruise. Despite being as gentle as possible, it still drew a sharp hiss from the Warden-Constable, and Bethany jerked her head up to see the other woman’s clearly pained visage.

“Sorry!”

“No, it needs to be done. Keep going,” she insisted even as pale eyes closed themselves to focus on breathing in and out evenly—albeit with some difficulty.

With permission given, Bethany laid her hand out over the woman’s side, drawing her magic out with a silvery-blue light. From there, she began sounding out the extent of the Warden-Constable’s injuries by feeling where it burned hottest beneath her palm—an indication of how bad the damage was. There was always a tickling sensation that spread out to her fingertips whenever she gently coaxed broken bones back into place. It was akin to puzzle pieces slowly sliding back together before she could encourage them to heal, and she waited for the pulsing waves around them to fade into a dull echo before focusing on the next fractured bone.

As for the bruised muscles surrounding them, they were far easier to deal with. Bethany poured magic beneath the skin in gradual increments—droplets of rain spilling into a cup one by one—until she felt the burning heat simmer down to a more bearable ache. She continued the process, slowly sliding her hand along the woman’s side until the patchwork of blues and blacks which had covered its expanse faded into a yellowish tinge and the superficial cuts had closed themselves. Bethany pulled away then with a satisfied smile.

“What song was that?”

Bethany blinked, turning her gaze up to see silvery eyes staring at her curiously. “Hm?”

“You were humming something while you were healing me.”

“Oh.” She felt heat gathering along her cheeks at the revelation. “It’s an old lullaby my mother used to sing to me. When my father first taught me healing magic, I used to hold my breath while I was performing the spell, but as you can imagine, it’s not a very sound idea unless you want both an unconscious healer and patient.” Embarrassed laughter spilled out of her then as she brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear self-consciously. “After a time, I learned that humming a few songs was useful in reminding me to breathe.”

“I see.” The Warden-Constable smiled, looking a great deal more relaxed as she reclined further against the headboard. “Well, thank you.”

“Of course.”

The Warden-Commander walked in then with Velanna in tow, and the warrior seemed surprised to see her sister still in bed. “Did you actually manage to get her to stay there the entire time?” she asked incredulously.

Bethany blinked in confusion at that since her patient had otherwise been well-behaved. As it was, she could only nod tentatively, causing the other woman to grin openly.

“Hah! Well done! I didn’t expect Stroud to send me someone who could cow her into submission.”

The Warden-Constable’s eyes narrowed then. “It was not my hearing that was damaged in that fight, Saoirse. You would do well to not make such comments before me,” she deadpanned, and despite the threat, it only drew hearty laughter from her sister, who soon drew her attention back to Bethany.

“Stroud said your name was Hawke, right?”

She shifted uncomfortably, having grown too used to her surname being used to refer to Emrys, but she nodded all the same. “I’d prefer just to be called Bethany if that’s alright.”

“Ah. Understandable. Can’t tell you how many times my sister and I both answered ‘yes’ in the same room whenever someone called out for a Warden Cousland.” She smiled. “In any case, welcome to the Fereldan branch of the Grey Wardens, Bethany. We’re glad to have you with us.”

---

After that, Bethany settles into Vigil’s Keep.

She sends letters home every now and then, but they’re usually only addressed to her mother. They’re never really long—just enough to let her know that she’s alive and well. Although Bethany realizes it’s a petty thing, she doesn’t ask about Emrys or send her anything for that matter. She’s still angry and resentful that her older sister managed to escape their adventure down into the Deep Roads unscathed while she got cheated out a future, leaving her to a life of killing darkspawn until the Calling finally takes her into the abyss of death. 

Melancholy is ever her constant companion, but eventually, she gets paired with Niamh for missions, who teaches her much about their duties as Wardens over the months, which takes them all around Ferelden. They deal with darkspawn sightings and document areas where they’ve sealed off underground routes into the Deep Roads with earth-based magic, hopefully preventing them from returning so regularly to bother nearby provinces.

As partners, they slowly become closer.

---

"Do you regret it?" Bethany asked one night as they sat by the campfire, watching as Niamh effortlessly flicked a hand to control the size of it just as a strong wind passed beneath the rocky overhang they'd taken shelter under. "Being a Grey Warden, I mean?"

Niamh paused, giving the matter some thought. "There are worse things to be, I suppose." She shrugged. "For a time, I hated the idea of being a mage because it took me away from my family. However, my being a Grey Warden was likely the only thing that saved me from being slaughtered with the rest of them when Howe plotted his coup. It likely also saved me from dying at the hands of my colleagues in Kinloch Hold when one of the Senior Enchanters overthrew it with blood magic and his followers.” She looked over at Bethany then. "Truthfully, I enjoy being able to see more of the world than through the cage the Chantry kept me in. I like the experience of being a part of it even in the moments that people dislike most."

Niamh held a hand out past the edge of the overhang, casually catching droplets of rain in her palm. Bethany watched as a slow smile spread across her features at the sound of another crash of thunder, and she couldn’t help how her own heart seemed to quicken upon seeing that serene expression.

"Our lives are more finite than they ever were," Bethany said distractedly, knowing all Wardens had only a few decades at most after their Joining.

"They are," she conceded. "That’s why I intend to make the most of it." Niamh's expression then turned sheepish as she turned back toward her. "I’m sorry. That probably wasn’t the answer you were looking for, was it?"

"No," she admitted, but as mellow as the other woman was, she was hardly surprised. Niamh had a way of remaining positive despite everything else life seemed to throw at them. Bethany smiled in spite of herself. "It was an honest one though. Thank you."

---

Every day is always an interesting adventure.

If not darkspawn, they deal with brigands out on the road or aid people across the countryside. To Bethany’s surprise, their help is openly requested sometimes when they reach a new town or village. Following the Blight, the utter bravery of the Grey Wardens had earned them Ferelden’s deepest respect. Thus, despite the fact they’re two mages traveling about, their regalia draws easy admiration and conversation alike.

It’s admittedly an odd feeling to have as a mage: to be wanted.

Bethany slowly grows to enjoy it though, especially when she can help with her magic so openly without being reviled for it.

Sometimes the jobs asked of them are simple enough: deal with a band of thieves, rid the area of rabid animals encroaching too close to farmland, helping out with some odds and ends around the village, etc.

Given that Niamh is a veteran of the Fifth Blight, Bethany also ends up learning a lot of survival skills from her during their travels together. She’s endlessly amazed by how the other mage utilizes her magic in combat and with other tasks such as hunting or fishing.

Bethany’s understandably shocked when she realizes that Niamh knows how to shapeshift, often scouting the skies as a raven to search for any nearby danger or roaming the wilderness as a sleek-looking, black wolf to hunt for game. It’s an unexpected revelation, especially since the other woman admitted to having been a part of the Circle most of her life before being recruited as a Warden.

She’s never met another mage so intriguing.

While Anders had been a benevolent healer, offering his skills to those most in need, it was his restless anger—an almost blind righteousness—over the plight of mages that gave Bethany pause.

Merrill was sweet in comparison, of course, and Bethany never minded talking with her even if there were the occasional cultural gaps that led to amusing misunderstandings at times. Still, the other woman held an interest in blood magic that Bethany wasn’t entirely certain she was comfortable with. After all, she had grown up hearing about the dangers of such magic from the Chantry. Then again, Andrastian religion also denounced who she was as a person as well, which was depressing in its own right…

While Niamh’s aptitude for elemental magic alone is impressive, Bethany is certain the woman’s shapeshifting draws upon some form of ancient or arcane magic—something well outside of the Circle’s teachings. It draws her curiosity endlessly. As such, Bethany asks her about the skill one day. Niamh just smiles, idly toying with the wooden ring that sits on a cord of black leather around her neck, revealing that a former companion taught it to her.

And that’s how Bethany learns about Morrigan.

---

“What?” Bethany exclaimed when Saoirse revealed how she was able to survive the slaying of the Archdemon. “You’re telling me that she and Niamh were able to…” She trailed off, trying to fight the blush burning across her face as her mind began imagining the possibilities of how such a conception was possible.

“You know, I thought to ask Niamh the technicalities of it once, but given she’s my baby sister—and obviously lacks the essential, uh, tool for the matter—I just decided it was best not to pry,” Saoirse answered dryly. She idly waved her hand about. “I don’t care to learn about her intimate life any more than she cares to know about mine,” she added before the corner of her mouth lifted into a lazy grin. “But for all intents and purposes, Kieran is my nephew, and Morrigan’s very much family now despite her protests to the contrary.”

“And he has the soul of an Old God?” she asked quietly as she turned to look at Kieran and the two women who were his parents.

Oghren had heard of their latest visitors and was—

Bethany squinted in confusion.

He was doing some type of weird jig in front of the baby, who was currently in Morrigan’s arms. Unfortunately, the erratic, uncoordinated nature of it did nothing to amuse him or his mother. Seemingly uncomfortable by the sight, Kieran gave an unhappy whine before reaching out toward Niamh, little fingers grasping repeatedly in her direction. Morrigan transferred him easily into the other woman’s arms when it was clear she wouldn’t mind holding him, allowing her to dryly berate the dwarf while Niamh comforted their son.

“So Morrigan says, yes,” the warrior answered with a shrug. “I originally turned down her ritual because I couldn’t bear the thought of subjecting an innocent life to such a fate, but I can’t be mad at the result. I still have Leliana because of it, and I can see how much Niamh adores both Kieran and Morrigan.” Her smile softened. “She has a piece of the happiness that I always wanted for her—something Niamh felt she could never find in this world, terrible as it is for mages at times.”

Bethany couldn’t help but agree at the latter sentiment.

Looking at the three of them, they certainly did seem like a happy family. Still, Bethany couldn’t help but feel some small pang of envy. While she had discovered that Niamh could draw just about anyone into easy conversation with her, she was rather private about her personal life. It wasn’t until recently that Bethany discovered she was even in a relationship—let alone one involving another woman. She had no issue with the idea or with Morrigan for that matter. The other mage was well-matched with Niamh on the basis of intrigue alone, but…

Bethany bit her lip.

After all those long months together with Niamh, she couldn’t help but feel—

Bethany nearly swallowed her tongue when she realized sharp, golden eyes were staring at her over Niamh’s head—as if somehow reading her thoughts. Morrigan was tall for a woman of Fereldan origin, but not nearly as much as Saoirse. With her dark hair and pale skin, she was as bewitching as she was powerful—her magical aura a fount of seemingly endless, wild energy. Bethany almost felt like prey beneath the other woman’s gaze, and she averted her own nervously.

Thankfully, Morrigan made no comment about it, but Bethany did wince when she heard her suggest turning into bed early to Niamh. She and Kieran had arrived relatively late in the day after all, so they were no doubt tired from their travels. Niamh gave no objections, and they soon headed off to the woman’s personal quarters.

Bethany sighed soundlessly.

She was no stranger to infatuation. Her attraction to Leliana back in Lothering was a testament to that fact. Granted, it was also somehow deeply ironic that her commanding officer was now married to the same lay sister who had since gone on to become the Left Hand of Divine Justinia.

Sometimes she couldn’t help but think the Maker enjoyed toying with her in subtle, annoying ways. In any case, like with any other infatuation, she would just have to wait for the one she had on Niamh to run its course.

It couldn’t last forever after all.

---

Spoilers: it does.

---

During one of her occasional visits, Morrigan left Kieran temporarily in the care of Niamh to follow up on a magical lead involving some of her arcane research. As they weren’t needed outside of Vigil’s Keep for anything, Bethany also got to watch over him as well, and as she did, she brought up a question that she had long been curious over.

"You said you started the ritual with Morrigan when you were already a Warden, weren't you? I thought Wardens became barren after the Joining though?"

"Hm. That's the assumption, yes," Niamh said as she idly waved a stuffed griffon over Kieran, delighting the baby instantly as they laid on the floor together. "I’d been a Warden for a little over a year at that point. Perhaps it was still soon enough that infertility hadn’t affected me yet, or the spell did something to compensate for it."

Bethany just nodded as she looked over at the two of them. "I see bits of you in him."

"Do you?"

"Yes," she admitted easily enough. "There's his sweet nature, the way he seems far too clever for his own good at times, and how his eyes light up whenever he smiles or laughs."

Niamh chuckled, flattered over the assessment. "Morrigan and I are always arguing about it. I see more of her than me in him, but then she retorts that he’s retained my love of sweets and just about every known creature in existence." Her smile widened when tiny, grasping hands finally succeeded in pulling down the stuffed griffon in her hands, and Kieran wasted little time in snuggling the toy to his chest with a pleased hum.

"Do you regret not being able to see him whenever you wish?"

"Sometimes," Niamh answered, "but Morrigan’s mother…" She trailed off with a frown even as she ran a hand affectionately through her son’s hair. "She’s powerful, and she’s hurt her before. I can understand her caution. I’m willing to go years at a time without seeing them if it means they’re safe."

---

Morrigan eventually returns, and she takes Kieran with her to hide and do magical stuff as Empress Celene’s Arcane Advisor in Orlais as per canon.

Several months pass.

Although Niamh had professed to understanding the need for her little family’s relocation, the distance means that visits from them are now few and far in between. Bethany can see how much the other woman misses them and how she worries about their safety. She often catches Niamh distractedly playing with the ring on her necklace, her thoughts clearly elsewhere.

As if anticipating that, Morrigan does send letters to Niamh every now and then, and Niamh’s entire expression lights up every time she receives them, learning how the other woman and Kieran are fairing in Orlais along with how their son continues to grow by leaps and bounds.

She cannot fault the happiness Niamh has found with Morrigan, but it also serves as a constant reminder of what life will never offer to Bethany.

Eventually, it gets to a point where Bethany grows resentful of their relationship because her own feelings for Niamh are just so strong by then. It causes her to lash out at Niamh one night in camp, angry with how calm and positive she always is despite knowing they all have a death sentence over their heads.

---

"What world do you live in that you see it through such an idyllic lens?! You can wax poetic about this life all you like! I never asked for this! I never asked for the darkspawn to steal what little I had from life only to be made the gatekeeper against the very things I despise most in this world!"

And Niamh was quiet for the longest time, having stopped mid-sentence over Bethany's sudden tirade. As the silence continued to drift over their camp, so too does a veil of sudden cold air, and Bethany realized far too late that she’d crossed a line with the other woman.

"No one does, really," Niamh admitted at last, the warmth gone from her voice. "Save for Saoirse and my brother, I lost most of my family, but the terrible thing was that it wasn’t even darkspawn that killed them or even the Blight. It was just one man’s petty greed for what he felt was owed to him. He pretended to be my family’s ally for decades, and under the cover of night, he used his men to slaughter nearly the entirety of my bloodline. My parents, my sister-in-law, my nephew… He was only eight when it happened, you see. Oren wanted to a warrior like my siblings. He was trying to defend his mother with one of those wooden swords young boys tend to play with, but against the likes of Howe’s men...”  She clenched her jaw. “They gutted him just like everyone else."

Another pause stifled the air between them even as Bethany stared at Niamh, horrified.

"Darkspawn are terrible, yes, but they’re not always as terrible as people," Niamh said, eyes narrowing as she looked into the fire. "We can be so far worse. If I'm at all patient, it's because I try to be kind in a world that offers so little of it. I want to believe it can be better than it was before. I want this to be a better place for our people, but I also want to ensure that tragedies like that never happen again. That the people caught in the middle—victims of simple circumstance—don’t have so suffer. If it means I must be a Grey Warden in addition to a mage, then I accept it. To do otherwise damns them as much as me."

With that, Niamh then gracefully rose to her feet and headed back to her own tent, leaving Bethany alone at the campfire.

The rest of their journey back to Vigil’s Keep passed without much conversation between them despite Bethany’s attempts. Niamh only said enough to give a suitable answer, but she never offered anything more beyond it. A vault door had seemed to close behind the cool grey of the eyes that had long enraptured her, offering little warmth. It was clear Bethany was no longer privy to the other woman’s innermost thoughts and feelings

Niamh wasn’t petty, however.

She still hunted when necessary so they didn’t starve, and as was long part of their agreement together, Bethany continued to cook whatever game she caught. Other than that, however, Niamh offered no friendly greetings in the morning when they woke or any words that allowed her to wander off peacefully into the Fade as she slept.

Bethany didn’t realize just how much she’d miss them.

---

When they finally return to Vigil's Keep, Saoirse is confused by how quiet and despondent her sister seems to be. Given how amiable Niamh normally is, she has a right to be concerned.

She pulls Bethany aside one night to ask what happened since they normally get along so well, but Bethany and Niamh haven't even spoken a word to one another since their return.

Bethany ruefully explains the situation, but she doesn't reveal the actual reason why she lashed out to begin with. As such, Saoirse just assumes it was just the usual stress of being a Grey Warden.

---

"Ah. It happens to the best of us, really. Here." Saoirse handed Bethany a tin box. Something Orlesian, according to the script on it. "Leliana’s currently away on business in Val Royeaux, but she sends care packages out to me whenever she can. This one's for Niamh though. It's tea," she explained with a laugh. "She loves this stuff more than anyone else I know."

Bethany still felt badly over the situation however.

“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?”

“Oh, Niamh’s too well-mannered to outright ignore someone,” Saoirse insisted with a brief snort. “If anything, she becomes more… Well. ‘Distantly-polite’ as my wife would describe it. Besides, I have it on good authority that she never turns down a good cup of tea.” A lazy, conspiratorial grin played on her lips then. “Especially if there’s a spoonful or two of honey in it.”

That eventually culminated in Bethany making tea for Niamh that evening, who had been locked away in her office as of late. Bethany was still nervous despite receiving permission to enter the room, allowing her to face the woman who she hadn’t seen in nearly a fortnight. Concern grew within her when she saw the shadows beneath Niamh’s eyes—a familiar indication that she had been working far too hard. She watched as Niamh struggled to blink the exhaustion from her eyes as she regarded her, but she otherwise said nothing, simply waiting to hear what Bethany required of her.

“I’m sorry," Bethany said at last, contrition clear in her voice. "This isn’t the life I would have wanted for myself, but I shouldn’t have lashed out at you when you were merely trying to help.” She held out the still-steaming mug of tea in her hands—the very thing Saoirse had convinced her would make for a suitable peace offering. “Here,” she offered with a tentative smile. “If you’re going to be working through the night again, you should at least drink something.”

For a time, Bethany believed the other woman was just going to remain silent. It would have been well-deserved given how terribly she behaved the other week, but then Niamh reached out to gently take the mug from her.

"Thank you," she said at last, the ice slowly melting behind those wintry eyes, and as they did, Bethany could feel the vice around her heart gradually unhinge itself in relief.

---

Things pretty much go back to normal between them.

Niamh and Bethany are back on the road again, especially after several reports of wandering darkspawn near the outskirts of a town.

As expected, however, Bethany's longing toward Niamh is still there—constant as an evening star. Even with the taint of death coursing through them, Niamh’s aura emanates with so much life—like a forest in winter, cool and refreshing with the scent of pine buried beneath its depths, waiting to burst into spring’s lively greenery with just the barest spark of magic.

It fascinates her.

She often wonders if such single-minded focus is a side effect of the Joining other than the enhanced physical strength and the ability to sense darkspawn. She feels a hunger that is never sated, a thirst that is never parched, and also…

Amber eyes wander over to where Niamh is disrobing to bathe in the nearby river, and she catches sight of the elegant play of muscles along her back before she studiously turns her gaze away. She feels the way her face burns even as she feels something else stir in her veins.

---

While still traveling, they get attacked by some hapless bandits, and while the two women aren't hurt, they manage to lose one of their tents to a stray grenade.

They end up sleeping in the remaining tent together, but it’s small, and they huddle together inside it for warmth against the pouring rain outside.

Bethany is surprised when she unexpectedly wakes up in Niamh’s arms—one is around her waist, and the other is curled behind her shoulders—which pull her closer in sleep. Sometimes she’s amazed at just how warm the other woman is, and although she knows she should pull away to avoid any awkward conversations in the morning, she can’t bring herself to do so. This is probably as close as she’ll ever get to the intimacy she desires with Niamh, and while the moment won’t last forever, it’ll be one more memory she can cherish—something no one else can ever steal from her.

Idly, Bethany listens to the rain outside—now a gentle pattering instead of the rage of a growing storm—falling against the material of the tent, and the sound is so rhythmic that she begins to doze off again.

---

Sometime after that, they receive a letter from Stroud, who requests their assistance with a matter out in the Free Marches. Saoirse stays behind to oversee things at Vigil’s Keep, which leaves Niamh and Bethany to travel across the Waking Sea with Nathaniel as additional support.

They arrive in Kirkwall several days before the qunari invasion begins in full, but not long after they do, Nathaniel’s reconnaissance around the city reveals something terrible:

Bethany’s mother was murdered.

Bethany is understandably upset, but Niamh and Nathaniel do their best to comfort her. They end up holding a small wake in honor of Leandra.

By the time they manage to rendezvous with Stroud, the qunari invasion has already begun, and they’re caught in the middle of it, leading to the Wardens running into Emrys Hawke and her companions.

Emrys obviously wants to talk to her little sister, but Bethany is resistant to the idea since her emotions are still riding high with the news of their mother’s death and the ever-present resentment regarding how she was made into a Warden without her say so on the matter.

Niamh recognizes Bethany’s tension and politely tells Emrys to leave the matter be for the time being. There is little point in having a conversation if one half of the party isn’t ready to have it after all.

Running on adrenaline, the warrior objects and tries to push her out of the way, but Bethany retaliates immediately on Niamh’s behalf. She presses her hand against her sister's chestplate and essentially shoves her back several steps, momentarily forgetting her Warden strength. Both Hawkes seem surprised by the ease in which she can do that.

---

“Bethany?” Emrys uttered in confusion, especially as her sister outright glared at her.

"You do not accost Warden-Constable Cousland that way!"

“Wait… ‘Cousland?’” Emrys looked over to the woman in question, taking in the obvious staff situated across her back. A wolf’s head ornament adorned the top of the weapon in exquisitely-sculpted silverite, and her eyes slowly widened in realization, remembering tales of the mage who could bend the very heavens to her whims. “Wait, you’re the Storm Wolf of Ferelden? Sister to the Hero of Ferelden?”

The woman merely gave a long-suffering sigh in response. “I suppose I was being too optimistic in assuming Leliana’s tales would’ve lost their weight this far past Ferelden’s borders…”

---

Despite the chaos ravaging itself across Kirkwall, the Wardens can’t stay to help. As such, they’re not there to see the end of the invasion. It isn’t until Bethany returns to Ferelden with the others that she receives a letter from Varric, saying that Emrys nearly died in her duel against the Arishok.

While Varric takes the time to mention that Emrys is recovering, and that her bravery led to her becoming Kirkwall’s Champion, the idea that Bethany had nearly lost the very last member of her family is so shocking that she's left inconsolable one night.

---

"I was such an absolute wretch to her before we left, and she nearly died afterward!” she wept when Niamh came to check on her in her room. “She’ll never forgive me!"

The other woman’s eyes are sympathetic as she held her in her arms. "Don’t be so sure."

"How can you say that?" Bethany demanded as she looked up at her, eyes red and swollen with grief.

"I’ve seen the way you talk about her, Bethany. The memories stir up more than just hurt within you,” she explained. “They light your eyes up with joy in remembrance of them. I’m sure she misses you and wishes things had gone differently. She wouldn’t have bothered sending all these letters to you otherwise over the years.

"My siblings did the same when I was still in Kinloch Hold, where I often wondered if my family had forgotten all about me. There were times I feared my being a mage would have meant their love for me would have gone away, but it didn’t. I received letters from them all the time—sometimes over the most asinine things like Saoirse’s warhound tossing bits of her armor into the pig pen." Niamh rolled her eyes, but Bethany could see the fondness in her gaze before they refocused on her.

"Your sister has asked for nothing in return even in the times where you never sent word back. I won’t tell you how to resolve this. You were right in saying that no one truly asks for this life, but I believe she only had the best of intentions when she entrusted your safety to Stroud. Trust in that if nothing else, and if you still find the matter wanting, tell her so." Something sad and brittle lingered on the smile she shared with her. "The what-ifs hurt more than the reality of things at times. No one deserves that."

---

Niamh helps to cheer Bethany up over the course of several weeks.

They’re off in a nearby town, investigating more sightings of darkspawn, and Niamh goes downstairs to pay the innkeeper for breakfast while Bethany packs up some of her belongings to continue their journey. When she reaches for her staff, she blinks, startled to find an ice flower blossoming on the end of it. She stares in surprise at the door the other woman had left through because there’s no way someone else could have done this.

It's almost like something out of a scene from one of those romantic tales Leliana used to tell her back in Lothering. She had thought them nonsense at first—that surely no one actually did such sweet things in real life—but now…

Bethany gently brushes her fingers over the beautifully-conjured petals and leaves, feeling the cool aura radiating from them.

Now she’s not so sure.

---

During their travels, they’re ambushed by darkspawn, and in the middle of the fighting, the ground manages to crumble beneath both women’s feet. The fall is long and painful as they slide down an old mine shaft, and soon they find themselves down in the Deep Roads. Unfortunately, it's an area they haven't charted yet, so they have no idea where they even are.

They have rations from the last time Niamh hunted and smoked some game, but they know it won't last forever. They can feel the press of darkspawn everywhere against their senses, and it's difficult to get any real bearing down in the tunnels because of it. The ambushes are sporadic throughout the days as they try to find their way back to the surface. They have taken to sleeping in brief shifts so they’re not caught unaware.

One fight lags on long enough that they have to retreat, but their enemies lead them right into the lair of a broodmother.

Bethany has never seen something so hideous in all her life, but when she turns briefly to Niamh, she’s disquieted to find the other woman looks more terrified than she's ever seen her. She barely has time to think over that before the darkspawn attack them again, but now they have the broodmother and her various tentacles to dodge as well.

The fight rages on for quite awhile, long enough that Bethany voices the thought they might never see Vigil's Keep again.

---

“No.”

"Niamh—"

"No!" she repeated firmly, glaring as she lashed out with an arm, incinerating an advancing line of darkspawn to their right. "I am getting you out of here! I swear it!"

You.

Not us.

What are you planning, Niamh? Bethany couldn't help but think worriedly.

Then she felt the sudden rush of magic—causing Bethany to almost stumble in place at the overwhelming sensation—as Niamh’s aura manifested itself more tangibly in an array of colors. Blinding arcs of lightning and lines of roaring flames raced across her form, and Bethany could see her own breath forming in rapid, exhausted puffs as the temperature inside the entire cavern seemed to drop even as the stone walls rattled ominously from the breadth of absolute magic being conjured.

The power of it was soon unleashed as Niamh slammed her staff end into the ground, allowing countless rays of energy to simply explode from her body. They radiated out like spectral hands of vengeance, and the cries of the darkspawn were nearly drowned out entirely as utter destruction rained down upon them. Each blast hit like deafening peals of thunder, and the echoes of them spanned for several long heartbeats, leaving Bethany’s ears ringing even after everything eventually fell silent.

As the dust and debris finally settled from the turbulent winds, she could see the other mage leaning heavily upon her staff, utterly exhausted. Each breath she took seemed to be a laborious effort, but Bethany watched as those eyes remained keenly alert to their surroundings, waiting to see if any of the darkspawn she had laid waste to would try and attack them again. They both tensed upon hearing the low, wailing groan of pain, and they looked to the far side of the cavern to see the broodmother still alive—albeit barely.

While already repulsive, it was now a macabre mass of flesh, bleeding sluggishly from the wounds inflicted by Niamh’s attack. Bloated skin bore severe burn marks, and entire chunks of flesh were missing. One of the broodmother’s arms had been severed completely, but the heat from one of the elemental attacks had unintentionally cauterized the fat stump even if Bethany grimaced upon seeing the pink-tinged bone that still protruded from it. The broodmother’s entire form seemed to slump back with what they assumed was her final breath, but then the sudden sound of earth breaking behind them alerted them far too late to a final danger.

Bethany turned her head just in time to see a lashing tentacle sprout from the ground, and her mind barely registered the sight of it before she heard the frantic call of her name along with warm hands pressing against her side.

"Bethany!"

As if time had slowed itself, she watched in horror as Niamh pushed her out of the tentacle’s swooping path, but in doing so, the other woman took the brunt of the attack entirely. Niamh was sent flying into one of the naturally-formed pillars of the cavern, impacting it hard enough that it broke at its center, raining rubble down upon the mage resting eerily still at its base until she was buried beneath it.

Bethany’s eyes remained fixed on the sight even as she shakily rose to her hands and knees. An overwhelming sense of disbelief overtook when her longtime partner didn't emerge at all out of the stone pile. In fact, there's a terrifying lack of anything in that direction.

Nothing of the taint in Niamh's blood.

No sound.

No magic.

Just... nothing.

Distantly, she could hear the half-dying moans of the broodmother somewhere beyond her peripheral vision. Although Bethany was all too aware of how dangerous her current situation still was, all she could feel was a staggering rush of absolute rage building inside her. It seemed to grow with every beat of her heart until she could hear it pounding inside her ears—a drumming sound of accusation over the fact that she had been powerless to help someone dear to her yet again.

It was her anger that gave birth to the sudden burst of power—whether a second wind or simply a dying gasp, she didn’t immediately know—but Bethany whirled to face the grotesque beast, magic already gathering within her hands. With an infuriated cry, she pressed her palms out, and she felt the immense displacement of air around her immediately as she summoned enough force magic to take up almost the entire space of the cavern. The pressure of it proved too much against the broodmother, and Bethany watched impassively as its enormous body was flung toward the far wall with enough violence that it was reduced to a grisly splatter of darkened blood, pulverized bone, and putrid meat.

With its death, Bethany felt the presence of darkspawn waiting beyond the cavern retreat even further, as if afraid of tempting her fury. Safe from any immediate threats, however, she wasted little time in rushing over to where she last saw Niamh. She used her hands and magic to try and dig her out beneath the rubble, but when she found her, fear took hold of her immediately when she realized the other woman wasn’t breathing anymore. Desperately, Bethany tried to use her healing magic in an attempt revive her, but to her utter dismay, the chest beneath her hands remained impossibly still.

“Oh, no…” she breathed. “No. No! You can’t be dead! Niamh, get up!”

But her cry fell on deaf ears.

Despite her best efforts, no matter how much healing she tried to force through the other woman’s veins, Niamh didn’t respond. As each minute continued to pass by in silence, Bethany began to wonder what she’d have to tell Morrigan if she ever made it back to the surface, let alone the little boy with Niamh’s kind smile. It would be such a terrible thing, she knew, informing them the woman they loved died trying to save her.

Just like everyone that ever entered her life.

Leaving before she even got the chance to give her goodbyes.

Bethany withdrew her healing magic and began conjuring lightning beneath her hands instead—the same way Niamh had taught her once upon a time—desperate for anything that could attempt to shock some life back into the other woman. Niamh’s body jolted with each burst of power, head lolling about along the dirt, but she still remained impossibly beyond Bethany’s reach—perhaps now wandering past the Fade and into the Maker’s embrace.

At the thought, her anguish soon gave way to anger.

“Damn you, you selfish wretch!” she shouted as she pressed her hand over the woman’s sternum with another pulse of electricity. “I never asked you to try and save my life! You don’t get to do this to me! You don’t get to just leave me here when I never had to chance to tell you everything! Not when you don’t even know I love y—”

Just as she went to jolt the other woman again, Bethany felt a hand firmly wrapping itself around her wrist.

Shocked, she looked up toward Niamh's face, especially as she heard a very weak cough. The other mage hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she saw how the still blue-tinged lips began to move—too soft for her to hear anything. Bethany lowered her head to listen more closely and soon heard a quiet question.

"...are you alright?"

Her breath caught in her throat, and fresh tears began to fill Bethany's eyes again in spite of herself.

Even after everything they had both suffered through, Niamh's first concern had still been solely for her.

With a shaky breath, she carefully curled herself up against Niamh’s form, crying silently even as she rested her hand against the other woman's stomach to continue and apply weak, healing magic.

That was how the other Wardens found them later.

"There they are."

Bethany didn’t pick her head up off the floor, but there was little mistaking Morrigan's distinct voice. Saoirse’s own followed soon after.

"I owe you my thanks for this, Morrigan."

“Thank your sister; I would not have been able to find her were she still not wearing the ring I gave her years ago.”

A weary chuckled greeted the mage’s words. “Ever the sentimental woman, my little sister…”

The sound of heavy footsteps treading closer caused Bethany to look up, and she could see Saoirse kneeling down next to them. The warrior’s face was worn with stress, but there was nothing but relief in her eyes as she saw them both together. "It appears I owe you my thanks as well, Bethany." She jerked her head up then, shouting out an order. "Get a litter for them now!"

"But I'm not nearly as injured," Bethany protested, drawing her hand away from Niamh’s body self-consciously, especially when Morrigan appeared and began to take over healing and stabilizing the woman’s condition with fresh magic.

"No," Saoirse admitted even as her lips lifted up into a tired smile. "But you and I both know what a terrible patient my sister is. I’ll be depending on you to make sure she behaves herself if she wakes up during our trek back to Vigil’s Keep.” She gently clapped a hand over Bethany’s shoulder. “Thank you. I owe you a debt.”

“Warden-Commander—”

“No. Niamh and I have lost enough in our lives. It would have hurt me to lose her as well.”

---

Niamh remains unconscious for several days as she recovers back at Vigil's Keep.

Bethany and Morrigan basically take turns looking after her.

Despite the other woman’s position as a member of Orlais’ Imperial Court, it seemed Morrigan returned to Ferelden after receiving a frantic letter from Saoirse, saying that Niamh and Bethany had been missing for several days following a routine mission.

As mentioned in the previous section, Morrigan gave Niamh a ring, which would allow her to find her were she ever in danger. It proved especially useful when Niamh and the other Wardens were imprisoned in Fort Drakon, where Saoirse essentially put her foot in her mouth and ruined their attempt to sneak Queen Anora out of the estate she had been held captive in.

I believe the ring is only canonically available if a player is in a romance with Morrigan. However, I’m headcanoning that because she held Niamh in such high esteem, she gave it to her anyway.

Kieran is also present at Vigil’s Keep because there’s no way Morrigan was leaving him behind in Orlais. He’s about five years old at this point, and he’s grown to inherit both his mothers’ looks. A crown of dark, loose curls sits atop his head much like Niamh’s, and he even fashions a forelock like hers, which hangs in front of his right eye. His gaze is a piercing shade of gold reminiscent to Morrigan’s own. As a possessor of an Old God Soul, he’s also begun to speak cryptically at times, which is understandably jarring to those around him.

Bethany happens upon one such conversation by accident, and she immediately pauses in the doorway when she sees Morrigan and Kieran standing at Niamh’s bedside.

“Sire was caught within the paths of the Fade, Mother. She heard the voices of old ghosts calling to her, but she didn’t follow them.”

Morrigan indulgently runs a hand through her son’s hair. “Indeed; she did not.”

“She missed them though, but she still returned to us.”

“Of course. Why would she desire an eternity without you?” she asked with a fond smile, causing Kieran to giggle.

“That’s not why, Mother! Not completely.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. She would have missed the Sunshine too much. She’s been following her warmth for years. It would have hurt her to be without it.”

Kieran’s words pull at Bethany oddly, but she soon pushes them out of her mind and quietly walks away, feeling too much like an intruder upon the small family.

Thankfully, Niamh regains consciousness not long afterward, and everyone is understandably relieved by this news.

As per usual, however, Niamh proves herself to be an exceedingly stubborn patient, but perhaps wanting to set a better example for Kieran after her near-death experience, she remains in bed for the duration of her recovery. The other woman doesn’t seem to mind too much, especially given that her son continues to keep her company, telling her of the various odd things he’s seen around Orlais and the even odder people.

After several weeks under Morrigan’s watchful eye, the witch begrudgingly says that Niamh's okay to begin light duty around the Keep, relieving the other mage immensely. She goes out herb-gathering, an excuse just to get out of the fortress, and Bethany volunteers to go with her.

Things are quiet between them for a time as they begin picking up elfroot to place in the shared basket between them. Their conversations as of late haven't been of anything too substantial. A good thing, Bethany thinks, considering her feelings for her and how close she’d been to revealing them. Soon, however, they're caught in the middle of a light rain shower, and Bethany says they should head back. She begins to lead their way out of the forest when Niamh’s words stop her in her tracks.

---

"I was waiting for you to say it again, you know."

Bethany looked over her shoulder in surprise to still see Niamh standing in the middle of the clearing, her gaze expectant. “What?” she asked nervously.

"When I nearly died, I heard you say something… significant to me,” she revealed, causing Bethany’s heart to pound as she stared at her in disbelief. “However, when I recovered and you never repeated those words again, I thought it might have been little more than a fever dream of mine." Niamh's smile turned sad then when Bethany said nothing else to her words. "Perhaps it was after all... I’m sorry. I’ve made this rather awkward then, haven’t I?” She took a few steps closer, reaching toward the basket of herbs Bethany still held in her hands. “Here, let me—”

But Bethany just let it drop to the ground before she reached out to grab the collar of Niamh’s cloak. The other woman seemed taken aback, but before she can even begin voicing a question, Bethany pulled her forward to kiss her desperately in the rain, swallowing her gasp of surprise.

As far as first kisses went, it was a touch awkward as their teeth clicked together, lips mashed between them. Bethany felt a moment of panic as Niamh pulled back, but before the urge to run away in mortification could overtake her, a warm palm pressed itself against the back of her neck, keeping her in place. There was the brush of knuckles as they ran along her jaw, and Bethany was just able to catch the silver of Niamh’s eyes before all thought fled from her mind upon feeling the soft press of the other woman’s mouth on hers.

Bethany followed into the easy guidance being offered, and they both soon settled into a comfortable rhythm that sent pleasurable shivers down her spine. She felt light-headed with giddy delight, and her hands reached out to hold onto Niamh’s hips, helping to ground herself there, as their kiss continued. There was a soft sound as Niamh sighed contentedly into her mouth, as if she had been waiting just as long for this moment between them.

The thought seemed almost too impossible to comprehend, especially when she knew Niamh was committed to someone else. As such, Bethany pulled away first despite the sound of protest it caused. Despite her resolve, Bethany was reluctant to pull away from Niamh entirely, so she settled for gently leaning her forehead against the other mage as they panted quietly in the rain.

"I'm so sorry," she said breathlessly, practically speaking the words against Niamh’s lips. "It wasn't my intention to interfere with your relationship with Morrigan."

As close as they were, there was little mistaking the clear confusion in the eyes across from hers. "'With Morrigan?'" Niamh repeated. "What does she have anything to do with us?"

"But… I thought—” Her brows drew together in consternation. “Aren’t you both together?"

"What? No," Niamh answered, almost amused by the idea. "When we laid together for the ritual, it was an agreement of mutual benefit meant only for that night. She's not—Well." An exhale of breath escaped her in the form of laughter. "Morrigan's admitted she's not interested in women—or anyone, really—in quite that way, but none of the male Wardens with us at the time dared to lay with her even if it meant sparing us all from death. She trusted me, and I her. I consider Morrigan one of my dearest friends, and we share Kieran together as a result of that night, yes, but we are certainly not bound together as others seem to believe."

And Niamh’s answer suddenly changed everything.

What Bethany had been feeling, what was now possible between her and Niamh...

She couldn’t help but smile as she finally realized she could have a bit of the happiness she’d always wanted for herself.

---

So everyone knows that they’re a couple after that.

Niamh becomes more overt in the romantic things she does for her—the very same things Bethany had thought were the woman simply being thoughtful. She finds out that Niamh had apparently been interested in her for awhile and had actually been ready to confess her feelings a few years ago, but their first argument, where Bethany had accused her of being too idealistic, had stemmed the thought immediately.

Niamh had been understandably heartbroken by the words, which was why she’d had been so despondent for weeks following the incident, believing Bethany had no romantic interest in her whatsoever. The apology in her office later had restored their friendship, and while Niamh had been disappointed it likely would never evolve into anything more beyond that, she was still determined to be a good friend to her if nothing else. 

Bethany’s completely exasperated at the idea that they could have been together long before now, but she realizes it was likely better this way.

She had needed time to get over her anger and resentment regarding her life as a Warden.

She needed time to get past her guilt and the complicated thoughts regarding herself and her faith.

And she needed time to grow into herself and discover who she was as a person.

She’s grateful that Niamh’s been so kind and patient over the years, and Bethany finds great joy in the new facet of their relationship together.

They’ve kissed and been involved in heavy makeout sessions around Vigil’s Keep—much to the exasperation of their colleagues—but barring the incident that led to Kieran’s conception, Niamh’s been celibate for years, and canonical dialogue in DA2 reveals that Bethany’s pretty much a virgin. As such, she’s understandably very shy and nervous about the whole thing. However, she knew every part of her would be in good hands with Niamh when they finally reached that point.

Their first time together takes place several months after their first kiss, where Niamh tries her utmost to make it a memorable thing for them. She takes Bethany to a grove they frequent together outside of Vigil’s Keep for a midnight picnic. The moon is full, and the skies are clear, revealing an endless sea of stars. Little fireflies dance over the surface of the lake while they sit on the grass along its shore.

It’s a casual reminder that for all their hardship, life goes on and finds a way through a magic all of its own.

They stargaze for and handfeed each other little bits of food in between kisses, but soon things start getting a little more heated. Niamh gently tugs Bethany onto her lap, who follows willingly, settling her knees on either side of the woman’s hips. Bethany takes some initiative of her own, pushing at Niamh’s chest slowly until she lowers herself against the grass, and then…

---

Bethany’s breath caught in her throat upon seeing Niamh’s features haloed by the soft glow of the little fireflies. Normally pale eyes had darkened at their edges with both pleasure and interest as she regarded her, leaving Bethany flushed, especially as she realized she doesn’t quite know what to do from there on out.

Perhaps having sensed that, Niamh reached up to gently run a thumb along the corner of her mouth, and Bethany barely resisted the urge to press her lips against the pad in a kiss as slim fingers then went to cup her cheek gently.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready,” Niamh reassured as she brushed a few strands of Bethany’s hair behind an ear. “I quite like kissing you.”

But Bethany did want to.

She knew Niamh had more experience with sexual intimacy, and she worried she couldn’t be able to compare against the woman’s past paramours. There was no expectation in those starlit eyes however. Niamh was as relaxed as she had been when they first started, and Bethany knew she would have been more than content to lay with her beneath the stars if that was all she desired. She was always considerate with her feelings, never pressing her to do more than she was ready.

Thus, Bethany knew Niamh would be patient with her during their first time together.

“If I asked, would you show me what to do?” she whispered tentatively, and she watched as the corners of those lips turned up into soft smile.

“Always,” Niamh answered, gently tugging Bethany’s hand toward the buckle holding the front of her leather and steel-riveted brigandine closed. “Here. Help me out of this first please.” 

From there, Bethany quickly realized it all wasn’t quite as simple as the tawdry novels Isabela used to loan her made it out to be. Nothing really prepared for the warmth of the flesh beneath her fingertips as she gradually disrobed her lover of the layers that made up their Warden regalia. Fortune favored the bold, she knew, and she experimented by pressing kisses against skin as more was revealed to her. She smiled against Niamh’s sternum—pleased—when she heard the exceedingly rare quiver in her voice.

As promised, however, the other woman continued to give suggestions on what types of touches would best give pleasure, but she also allowed Bethany to set the pace of whatever she felt most comfortable with. With each encouraging whisper against her ear, each caress and rock of her hand became more confident. When Niamh shuddered beneath her for the first time—the barest hint of magic curling against her own—as she reached her peak, Bethany was convinced that she had never felt more triumphant.

And she didn’t think she had ever felt so unfettered when Niamh later returned the favor by kissing a line of fire down her bare body. Those mist-grey eyes never left her own gaze though. Bethany had long known how attentive the other mage could be. As their lead tactician, there was always a studious quality in how she approached anything set before her.

Feeling the full magnitude of that attention focused solely upon her, however, was another matter entirely. Niamh stared at her as if she had hung the very moon and the infinite tapestry of stars into the night sky. It was like she was her very reason for drawing breath, and the thought of that brought forth a stunning wash of emotions over her as she saw the clear reverence in those eyes—so much so that she couldn’t help the tears beading themselves across her lashes nor her soft, surprised exhale of laughter when Niamh leaned up to gently kiss them away.

It was only when she assured her lover that she was ready to continue that Niamh returned to her exploration. The woman was committed to learning every part of her, gauging every physical response—the touches that made her moan breathlessly or sigh in contentment with the press of lips against her skin—before reacting accordingly. She felt that dedication most vividly as a warm mouth settled between her thighs and began working itself thoroughly there.

Bethany couldn’t help but break eye contact with Niamh as she threw her head back against the cool grass, lost to the new but pleasant sensations coursing their way through her body. Her hips seemed to move of their own volition, especially as the almost overwhelming heat of a tongue pressed itself flat and lapped languidly at her.

After a time, it felt like she was freefalling, and she blindly reached out toward Niamh. One hand sank itself easily into the tousled waves of raven-black hair, but with the other, Bethany found slim fingers gently intertwining themselves with her own. There was strength and reassurance within the warmth of that grasp—a steady tether to ground her—even as Niamh continued with her ministrations, quickly unraveling the foundations of her world.

Were you the answer this entire time?

Were you the one whom my heart was always waiting for?

Bethany found her answer just as her climax crested over her.

---

The next scene takes place several months after Niamh’s and Bethany’s first time together but just before the Kirkwall Rebellion.

Niamh heads over to Amaranthine to see her aunt, Eithne Mac Eanraig, since she's the Arlessa there.

Now, here’s where I’m veering off from canon.

Per the events of Awakening, the Warden ends up becoming the Warden-Commander, and for their services during the Fifth Blight, Vigil’s Keep along with the entire arling of Amaranthine was given to the Grey Wardens. The fortress and the territory originally belonged to the Howes, but after Rendon Howe’s betrayal, all titles and properties were stripped away from them. As such, the Warden-Commander would also become the Arl or Arlessa of Amaranthine.

Per my headcanon though, Saoirse felt that she couldn’t tend to both her duties as a Warden while also ruling over the arling. Thus, she suggests to King Alistair to let her aunt oversee it instead.

While Eithne is technically my own creation, it was canonical that Eleanor had three siblings prior to marrying Bryce Cousland. All the children of Bann Fearcher Mac Eanraig—also known as the Storm Giant—were exceedingly skilled raiders although Eleanor was the most infamous of them. Still, I headcanon that Eithne’s own prowess allowed her to take over as head of the family and their impressive fleet after her father’s death sometime before the events of DAO.

I also headcanon that the Mac Eanraigs and their fleet proved instrumental during the Fifth Blight, allowing desperately-needed supplies to travel to the country without fear of them being intercepted by pirates. When the reconstruction of Ferelden began in full following the defeat of the Archdemon, Eithne opted to expand the services of her family’s fleet, offering to escort any incoming and also outgoing cargo ships. This allowed trade to flourish in Ferelden since the threat of piracy was reduced greatly against the might of the former raiding family and their respective crews. With goods being consistently transported and received, it led to the otherwise pricey import and export tariffs being lowered significantly.

It expanded the influence of the Mac Eanraigs considerably to say the least, and while they were of minor nobility compared to the Couslands, the family was already well-respected for their long connection to the Storm Coast and their role in the Fereldan Rebellion as well as the Fifth Blight.

As such, no objection was given by Ferelden’s Bannorn when the Mac Eanraigs were consequently raised further in nobility by the decree of King Alistair and Queen Anora, allowing Eithne to officially be named Arlessa to the city of Amaranthine.

---

"Aunt Eithne," Niamh began, walking into her office, "may I have access to the castle's forge?"

The older woman was sat behind her desk, looking through various reports when she glanced up at her. Kind, weathered features warmed instantly. "Ah, there's my wee Storm Pup," she said as she rose to her feet to meet her. "You know you’re welcome to anything within the castle, lass. I take it that blacksmith of yours is being stubborn at Vigil’s Keep again?"

As per usual, Niamh found herself looking up at her aunt as she rounded the edge of her desk. While her late mother Eleanor had been roughly her own size, the Mac Eanraigs as a whole towered over most people with their intimidating height and broad-shouldered frames—traits that Fergus and also Saoirse inherited as they grew into adulthood. In her youth, Niamh remembered that her Aunt Eithne had also possessed her mother’s pale blonde hair, but it had since turned silver with age and was now kept in a neat braid that dangled in front of her right shoulder. She imagined that Saoirse would likely resemble their aunt greatly in looks over the next few decades.

…provided they find a cure against the Calling first, of course.

Morrigan’s arcane research had turned up several possibilities, but the latest one she’d found seemed especially promising. Still, Niamh put the thought from her mind momentarily to answer her aunt’s question.

"You and I both know Master Wade won’t allow anyone to go near his forge. He’d pout for weeks on end before we could convince him to resume work again,” she said dryly before shrugging. “Just as well, I suppose. He can’t keep a secret to save his life. What I have in mind is more of a personal project."

Dark grey eyes blinked. "Oh?" she intoned curiously.

"It's... Well." Niamh shifted from foot to foot, a tad nervous to put her thoughts into words. "I'm making matching torcs for Bethany and I, so—oof!"

No sooner after she had stated her purpose did Niamh unexpectedly found herself drawn up into a crushing hug by her aunt, who lifted her clear off her feet with the force of it.

"Haha!" Eithne crowed with delighted laughter as she twirled her about. "Wait until I tell your uncles about this! Why, it’s been ages since we’ve had a wedding in the family!"

"We had one a year ago for Fergus and Olithia," Niamh corrected hoarsely as she tried to wriggle out of her aunt's grip to little avail. Corded muscles built over a lifetime at sea ensured the woman’s strength was nigh unbreakable. "And there was another for Saoirse and Leliana before that."

"Details, wee niece, details," she brushed aside when she placed Niamh back on her feet again, placing large hands over each of her shoulders with a grin. "Honestly, I was half-convinced my ashes would be scattered across the sea before I saw my last niece be married off! Dermot!" she called out loudly beyond the walls of office to her second-in-command, leaving Niamh wincing from the sheer volume of it. "Break out the casks! We’re celebrating tonight!"

Niamh merely sighed, somehow glad that Bethany was currently away from Vigil’s Keep with Nathaniel to tend to a matter out in another seaside province. There was no way she’d be able to surprise her with a proposal otherwise.

---

Bethany didn't know what to really expect when Niamh took her out to their favored grove, but then she was offered a… necklace of some sort. It was thick and sturdy but exquisitely-crafted. It formed an incomplete circle, but there was no clasp holding both ends together. As she took the necklace into her own hands, she found there was a certain pliability to it as she stretched the space between the twin, silverite wolf heads open a bit more.

"I spent weeks getting the details just right," Niamh admitted. "The hardest part was finding the perfect bits of citrine to match your eyes," she added, pointing to the small, gemstone orbs held in the maw of each wolf.

"You made this for me?" Bethany asked, awed.

"Yes. It’s a custom from the maternal side of my family. They’re generally gifted to those of status or individuals who have achieved great deeds. The more bands woven together designate one's importance." Niamh's expression turned somewhat sheepish then. "I don't think it needs to be said that I think highly of you."

Bethany looked at the thick braiding and saw that there were at least five bands wound together in a cord and then welded together.

"I..." Niamh wet her lips briefly, as if caught beneath sudden nervousness. "I realize marriage is usually just a matter of settling titles and heirs, but I believe you know by now that my family tends to eschew commonly-held norms. As such, I would consider it a great honor if you were to become my wife. As for anything official—a wedding for instance—we needn't concern ourselves with it right away. Not if you don't wish to certainly." Silver-colored eyes rolled themselves. "Honestly, my family uses any type of excuse available to throw a celebration. They’ll likely still drink the night away, knowing that I’ve finally settled down with someone."

Bethany couldn’t help but laugh at that. "They were that invested, were they?"

"Before you, they had a tendency to think I was more married to my duty within the Order, and I can’t say that were not wrong in thinking so."

"And that’s changed?"

"Well... I was managing day by day as well as any of our comrades, but I won’t lie in saying that there came a point when you were all I could ever think about in the many moments in between."

It was… quite the confession.

In an instant, all the stories her mother had ever told her of romance paled in comparison to this moment.

"Yes," Bethany said at last, watching as the ghostly-grey eyes across from her widened, but there was little hiding the hope building within their depths.

"Yes?"

"Yes to the—" She stumbled a bit over the word. "—torcs, you said?” Bethany asked in clarification, earning her a nod along with a very relieved sigh. “I don’t want a ceremony.” She bit her lip as she stared down at the thickly-braided necklace. “At least not just yet, but I like the idea of the promise these contain.”

“You would like to have your sister here when the time comes,” Niamh deduced understandingly. “Very well.”

“You can wait?”

A very warm smile burnished beautiful features that she had long fallen in love with so many years ago. “A Chuisle Mo Chroí,” she began, voicing an endearment that never ceased to make her heart flutter, “for you, I would gladly wait a thousand Ages and more.” (Writer’s note: A Chuisle Mo Chroí is phonetically pronounced Ah Khush-lah Muh Kree and means “Pulse of My Heart.”)

The words earned her a heartfelt kiss of gratitude. If Niamh noticed Bethany was trembling, she said nothing of it. In fact, they both had little to say at all as they slowly lowered themselves to the grass and surrendered themselves to the night and the promise of everyday thereafter.

---

The Kirkwall Rebellion still happens in this verse, and because Saoirse's busy butting heads with the higher-ups at Weisshaupt, she sends word to Niamh, asking her to go to Kirkwall to provide Leliana backup if things get bad. Bethany is concerned as well about the well-being of her sister Emrys, and she asks to go with her. Niamh, of course, can't really deny her anything, so they both take the fastest ship across the Waking Sea.

---

"There you are," Bethany declared when she managed to come across her sister and her companions despite the chaos around them. She settled her staff over her back, walking through the tangle of defeated Templars around her to meet them. "We’ve been looking everywhere for you. I'd almost feared you were dead."

Emrys hadn’t expected Bethany’s presence in the city, but she’s beyond elated to see her. At her words, the warrior merely preened. "As if they'd be able to best me. And, uh, what’s this about 'we?'" Emrys asked, confused. “Did you bring the other Wardens with you?”

“Just one.”

As if attuned to her thoughts, Niamh made her entrance then by Fadestepping through a handful of Templars—who had arrived on scene as backup—freezing them in their tracks. She and Bethany had momentarily split up to try and cover more ground in search of Emrys.

Bethany arched a brow at her sister while gesturing toward her lover with an emphatic wave. "You remember Warden-Constable Cousland, don’t you?"

Emrys had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed as she recalled their last meeting, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly as she regarded Niamh. "Oh. Yes. Uh, about the last time we met—"

But Niamh seemed amused more than anything, waving aside the apology graciously. “Bygones, Champion. No need to worry yourself about the past. My sister’s a warrior as well; I’ve fared worse on the rare occasion."

"In any case, Sister, if you need help, we’ll gladly give it."

“Really?”

“Yes. I…” Bethany swept a bit of hair behind her ear nervously, but as Niamh settled alongside her, offering her wordless support, she continued on. “I wanted to apologize for what happened down in the Deep Roads and for how we parted the last time I was here. You saved my life, but I couldn’t see past my own anger back then. I’m sorry,” she whispered, contrite. “I should have said it long before now. You’re all I have left of our family, so if you need help against the Templars, say the word.”

Emrys looked beyond thrilled at the prospect of having her at her side again. “I’m certainly not going to turn away help now of all times, but…” She shot a look of confusion over toward Niamh. “I thought Wardens weren’t to involve themselves in political matters?"

The other mage merely sighed. “While true, that follows a line of policy that my sister and I strenuously object to, especially given the matter involved here. She and I will deal with the leadership at Weisshaupt later if need be." Slim shoulder shrugged themselves then. "Of course, even if my sister-in-law weren't nearby, Bethany wanted to help, and that was good enough reason for me to be here."

Emrys’ dark brows rose at the claim, and she immediately turned a searching gaze over toward Bethany, who couldn’t help but turn her own away, flushing somewhat.

"Yes… Niamh and I are a bit of a package deal these days."

Unfortunately, the minor shift in movement allowed for something else to be revealed, and Isabela took notice of it immediately as her eyes darted toward the area of her neck just beneath the collar of her uniform.

“Wait… is that a torc?" she asked, brows raising, impressed.

“A what?" Emrys asked, flustered, especially when she saw the matching one that Niamh was also wearing.

“It's a little bit of tradition from my mother’s side of the family,” Niamh explained. “They’re beautifully-crafted pieces of jewelry, but they can be as symbolic as rings, especially in the ceremonial sense."

"'Rings?'" Emrys parroted with a choke. “‘Ceremon—’” The warrior paled instantly as she realized the implication, shakily pressing her hand against a nearby wall to steady herself when she began swaying in place. “Oh, Maker’s breath… I think—I need a moment,” she murmured, and Bethany watched—concerned—when Emrys practically folded in over herself, working to catch a breath. After a time, Emrys’ comically-wide blue eyes turned over to Niamh. “You’re married to my baby sister?"

"Engaged, technically," Niamh answered, blinking owlishly at her reaction. “I proposed to her before we left Ferelden."

---

Annnnd then Saoirse shows up because she got worried about Leliana, and she and Emrys get along like peas in a pod. They’re exceedingly competitive with one another though...

---

“Hah!” Saoirse crowed, grinning smugly at Emrys as she rested the flat of her greatsword along her shoulder. “Is that the best Kirkwall’s Champion can do? I managed to neatly cleave my opponent in half.”

Emrys merely scowled, matching pace with Saoirse as they marched toward The Gallows. “Only because I helped! Besides, that strike wouldn’t have held against him if he had a shield as well!”

“Yes, it would have!”

“Lies!” Emrys scoffed. “It would have been caught halfway through the shield before you would have been able to reach his armor!“

“Not with the proper leverage it wouldn’t have!”

As they argued heatedly about sword techniques, Niamh and Bethany shared a long-suffering glance with one another before moving on ahead of their respective sisters.

“Warriors…”

“Indeed.”

---

Eventually, this all culminates in that huge battle at the end of DA2, where Meredith is defeated. As per canon, it becomes clear that it’s no longer safe for Emrys and her companions to remain within the city without eventually facing possible repercussions from the Chantry. As such, they begin scattering to the winds not long after the end of the rebellion.

---

"You could come with us, you know," Emrys suggested.

Bethany looked over to where her sister stood next to Isabela, ready to board the ship that would take them to Antiva. Emrys’ expression was almost painfully hopeful, but Bethany knew it wasn't meant to be. Although she had resented it once upon a time, she had a duty to the Wardens, and she would not easily abandon it. She said as much to her sister.

"No. Niamh currently seeks a cure that affects the lives of every Warden."

"A cure for the Calling?” she asked, surprised. “Is that even possible?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. She is easily the cleverest person I’ve ever met though. If there is a solution, she will be the most likely one to find it, and I will not stand to be apart from her."

"I see.” Emrys rubbed the back of her neck, shoulders slumping somewhat. “So… this is goodbye again."

It was admittedly a bittersweet feeling, knowing that this had been the first time in years they had seen one another and it would likely be several more yet before they would meet again.

"For now,” she answered quietly. “You have your life, Sister, and now…" She glanced over at Niamh, who was talking to the captain of a ship heading back to lands far to the west—ones that had never been touched by the Blight, according to Morrigan. “I have mine.”

Emrys followed her gaze. “You seem happier."

"I am."

“That’s all I ever wanted for you, you know? Just to know that you were happy.”

“I know that now." Her smile turned more genuine as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around Emrys, hugging her for all she was worth. "I wish the same upon you always. Safe travels to you and Isabela, Sister."

---

And as mentioned in the bullet points up above, they spend several years traveling abroad. Some days are harder than others as they meet their fair share of challenges, but Niamh and Bethany support each endlessly through it all.

They both return to Ferelden several years after the Trepasser DLC when they’ve found a cure for the Calling. With the taint purged from their bodies, they’re guaranteed the long life that would have otherwise been denied to them. As such, Niamh and Bethany finally get married—torcs gleaming bright—as Leliana as Divine Victoria officiates the wedding.

---

And that’s pretty much it.

I have about 20 pages of random scenes I’ve yet to elaborate on for this AU, including one for the huge battle at the end of DA2, so while I don’t see it as being nearly as long as OtSttCA, it’ll likely make for quite the lengthy read when I finally get a chance to work on it properly.

Still, if this verse interests you, leave me a like, a comment, or just swing by my inbox to tell me your thoughts! Until next time, readers! Take care!

[dragonswithjetpacks]

I’m going to say this one time about Cullen and that’s it. And my opinion will be out there and done. This is not a negative post. But this is a long post so buckle up babes.

*warning for use of language because I swear like a sailor*

*also brief mention of rape*

Anyway, Cullen is a perfect example of poor planning in the gaming industry.

He is also a perfect example of fans thirsting so hard and wanting something so bad that the writers and developers change a character and even game elements to suite their needs. They didn’t even give him a book or a comic for redemption. You know what they did instead? They switched writers. Cullen has three writers. All of them with a different character in mind.

Cullen was a fucked up mess in Origins. He was meant to be creepy and sociopathic. I get that. The writer who basically created him had no idea he was even going to be not only a reoccurring character, but one that was going to be romance able in future games. She even apologized. Which wasn’t necessary. And so many people who played the game missed a big point about Cullen. He was never supposed to recover from Origins.

“The young templar Cullen never quite recovered from his ordeal. After months of attempting to convince his superiors that the tower was still a danger, he finally snapped and killed three apprentices before being stopped by his fellow templars. Eventually, Cullen escaped from prison, a madman and a threat to any mage he encountered.”

“Once the tower was rebuilt, Knight-Commander Greagoir stepped down from his post and retired to a life of private contemplation as a brother in the Chantry. His health failed over time, and after refusing treatment, he perished in his sleep. Knight-Commander Cullen was said to be more strict and less trusting of the mages even than Greagoir was. He ruled the Circle with fear.”

I’m sorry. But yeah. That’s the epilogue on two different choices involving the Circle’s fate in Origins. And it was ignored. I agree with that, too. But it wasn’t just Cullen that was ignored. It was the entire Circle at Kinloch Hold. If the mage warden sacrifices their own life, the Circle is supposedly free. Which... is not mentioned... ever again. And not to mention is impossible? Like okay thanks Anora or whoever but I don’t think you can just do that.

Poor writing.

I’d also like to mention for the record I did not like Cullen in Origins. I still don’t.

Now, I don’t know why exactly Cullen was brought back in DA2? I know his writer got bullied out of Bioware. I do not have an opinion on that. I mean the woman co-wrote my favorite part of Origins (Anvil of the Void). She also wrote Anders. Which I don’t think is a coincidence. People, men and women, often have this idea of fixing a broken person. It’s heavily romanticized. It’s called codependency. And you see it a lot in romance novels. But that’s another topic. It seems this writer implemented that in the game (along with some of her own personal things she had) without fully knowing Cullen would even be a romantic interest in Inquisition, but also still wanting to give him some sort reason to be desired. And all the while knowing Anders was fully romanceable. Even... a little forcefully... romanceable... if I may add... (I am uncomfortable) I also dislike some of Anders’ writing but that’s another post and I don’t want to compare the two. But Anders was the opposite side of Cullen that was done better because they had time to write it.

Regardless, Cullen seemed to hold some resemblance to his former character. But we do see a lot hesitance with him. He’s basically that “good” cop that doesn’t do anything when the bad cop is beating the shit out of everyone. Still not good, hence the quotes. Not a good guy. He has his meh he’s alright moments. And seems to generally disregard Hawke in every single way. But he’s still an ass hole for letting things happen the way that they did when he could very much so have put a stop to it. Maybe it was the writers’ intention to make it that way to show he was still suffering from trauma in Origins.

Again. Poor writing. BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW. DIDN’T HE KILL THREE PEOPLE, BIOWARE? ISN’T HE SUPPOSED TO BE KNIGHT COMMANDER IN FERELDEN, B I O W A R E??? WHAT. HAPPENED. BIOWARE.

So here’s the next thing. They decided to slip him into Inquisition for whatever reason. His writing was fair enough in DA2. Could have been better. But these people are still thirsty. They want some Curly. At the last minute, they throw romance on him. Not a bad idea. But are we supposed to forget the man was basically raped by desire demons? Is he even ok to have a relationship? OH WAIT THAT’S RIGHT. We didn’t closure on that because they ignored it.

Anyway, Cullen in Inquisition seems to be different. But because they couldn’t just, oh I don’t know, write a different character with the same traits but better, they had to somehow put the events of the previous games and how it affected him into this new current game where he supposed to be... better? Ish? Which is where we get the stereo type soldier with PTSD and a substance abuse problem. Now, if you’re any good with imagining and writing fanfic, then you probably know or already have figured out a way to connect everything better than Bioware could. But hey. Last minute romance written in on a character who was already all over the charts? Count me in. I like a good writing challenge. Poor girl who took the job of writing Inquisition Cullen likes a challenge too, apparently. Because it was her first big project. And she didn’t do a bad job. But imagine working hard on trying to write a character half the fandom hates into someone somewhat likeable just for everyone to shit all over it.

The way I look at it.... we have three different characters. And he is not really a good example to look at analyze wise. He is inconsistent. And was molded for Inquisition for thirsty fan girls. And some boys (I see you). A good example for study would be Morrigan. Or even Alistair. And Alistair is in several of the comics and still remains pretty consistent. Leliana is a prime example of character development over a course of three games. And I highly recommend you fall in love with her good and bad side because she is written beautifully. Don’t @ me.

Cullen, and I mean Inquisition Cullen, has a lot to like. And a lot to dislike. Every character is flawed. I think a lot of hate that gets tagged onto Cullen is really from poor writing. They really got lazy with him. And it is a shame. I feel like he could have been redeemed way better. He could have had one hell of a redemption. Or possibly just skipped over all together. I see a lot of posts about putting Samson in his place and I often agree. It was never quite the character that made him appealing to me. It was the personality. And they could have easily done with anyone. They could have made Samson sexy, too. It didn’t have to be sexy Cullen. And let’s face it. With Cullen’s writing in Origins and even some of the writing in DA2, Cullen siding with Coryphedouche is way more fitting than Samson.

Basically, it is up to us to fill in the gaps. So I love seeing fanfic with Cullen backstory. Because it gives better insight than what the writers could accomplish. And I applaud you if you’ve done that. BUT the over sexualization of this character is a bit... wrong. It feels wrong. And that’s all I’ll say to that. Personally, I’ve been working on some Cullen romance fic for awhile and it’s been challenging trying to find a way to make him less douchey. One minute, he’s yelling at you about mages. And the next, he’s got this soft tone and nervous look. Like, yeah... you can tell it’s rushed. And awful. And even the dialogue is just... painful. It doesn’t fit. (you can check my Cullen tag in blog to see how I feel about that). I will say that even speaking to him on a personal note, asking him questions about life as a templar, he even says he does not agree with the Order. And he wants to change his thinking. But he still gets angry when you go to side with the mages. It feels like they wanted redeem him but they also needed someone to side with the templars to provide conflict at the war table.

So in my opinion, calling him controlling and abusive is a bit of a stretch. He was clearly used by the writers. It just seems ridiculous to put so much effort in bashing the character when clearly... he was not planned out... or put together... I just... I don’t get...

I know what you’re thinking at this point: Kay.... why do you like him then?

Beacause. I am weak for a man who gets nervous around girls he likes. His awkward mannerisms despite being a man of power makes me weak. The need to protect also makes me weak. But also the ability to admit vulnerability makes me suuuuuper weak. So like I said. There was a lot there. It just was not delivered correctly. You know what I would have done? If I had to put him in the Commander shoes, I would have made the whole Kirkwall thing a life changer for him. Maybe even give him a soul searching type situation before joining the Inquisition. And definitely tell him to keep his mouth shut about siding with the templars.

Long story short: Ya’ll thirsted over a weird dude in Origins and Bioware went hmmmm okay. But by the time they gave him to you on a silver plate, it was last minute. Like you just found out your crush Jared is going to Becky’s party but you’re already at Jessica’s house and have like nothing to wear so you have to just wing it. And your shoes look tacky, but Jessica’s shoes don’t fit. So you either have to wear shoes that don’t fit or just look like omg total garbage. And Bioware went with the shoes that don’t fit. And Jared totally likes them.

I’m also going to say the most controversial thing on this entire post by just... saying... by calling Cullen out as trash without realizing the writing, the directive, the lack of development, the rush on this character, and the complete absolute bullying this community does to it’s FANS AND WRITERS kind of feels like you didn’t really put any effort into understanding why and just jumped on a band wagon. And the fact that some of you make other people feel bad for liking this character is awful. Some of the most toxic shit I’ve seen. Like maybe they like this character from Inquisition because, I don’t know, maaaaaaybe he was written out almost like a new character with a last minute fantasy romance.. because he kind of was...

Now for my opinion on Greg Ellis.

FUCK THAT GUY.

And that’s it. Thanks for stopping by. If you agree cool, if not cool. I’m not here to argue with anyone or say your opinion is invalid. We all have reasons why we hate or love the color blue. So we can all disagree or agree and live in peace and still love a game.

You can always message me, too, guys. I have a lot of opinions. And reasons for my opinions. And theories. And just things in general. But I will not hate characters written in Dragon Age. Someone wrote them. Someone is out there working their ass off to deliver a character. And I refuse to hate someone fictional.

[meggannn]

This might sound like a stupid question, but I'm thinking about getting into Dragon Age because I'm a dumb fantasy hoe and FenHawke seems like my brand of Royai. I keep getting confused though cause I'm not sure if Hawke is a girl or boy, I dig it either way cause I'm here for the dynamic! How would you suggest getting into the world/game play?

hey! I’m super glad to hear new people are interested in getting into Dragon Age. fair warning, fenris/hawke isn’t really like roy/riza... like, at all? lol (not military, neither are about duty/sacrifice over personal gains — the opposite, actually — although there IS lots of pining) but if you’re trying to say you think you’d dig it anyway, then awesome.

Hawke is a PC (playable character) and you have the choice to play as a male or female version of Hawke. Hawke is also customizable in terms of appearance, so that might explain if you’ve seen lots of different-looking people tagged as “Hawke.” These are the default heads, but you can customize them.

Fenris is in the second game, Dragon Age 2. Fenris is available as a romance option for any Hawke. (and so are the other available romances in DA2, so that’s why you’ll see people saying that every DA2 love interest is bisexual. in this house we reject that the bisexual companions are “player-sexual”)

I played DA2 first, so you can technically play DA2 without playing the first game, Dragon Age Origins, especially if you only want to see what one romance is like. although if you’re someone who’s interested in story/the larger world, then I’d strongly suggest starting with Origins because 2 will jump right into it; they do explain some lore to new players, but I think having Origins under your belt will make for a less confusing experience. but like I said, I played 2 first, and replayed it several times before finally looking at Origins, so it’s not a big deal if you just want to jump into a game for one character.

Origins and 2 also have different... vibes? DAO is a game about a bunch of dissimilar people banding together despite outward appearances to defeat a great enemy and save the world. DA2 is about a gang of friends — misfits, rogues, outcasts — trying to put food on the table, get through each day, and survive the political storm brewing in their city. they’re very different kinds of stories. I personally like the more interpersonal feeling that DA2 has, because it has (I think) better banter between characters and you get the sense that these people have relationships with each other and do things within the city even when Hawke is not around. Origins is a much more classic “call to action, save the world from evil” sort of story, and what it does, it does well. 2 has always appealed to me more, though admittedly I don’t know if that’s just because I played it first.

and fair warning if you decide to start with Origins, there’s no way to say this politely: the combat sucks. the game was made in 2009 and it kind of shows (which is why I use a “Skip Combat” mod when I play it). DA2’s combat is personally my favorite in the trilogy, but I think that’s an unpopular opinion.

if you’re worried about if you’d like the combat, maybe watch some videos? the Dragon Age series has a system where you can pause in the middle of combat at any time to deliver orders to certain party members, queue up actions that you want to take (moves, health potions, stamina potions), or just take a second to assess the battlefield and decide your next move. I personally use this feature frequently but it mostly depends on what class I’m playing: I really love it when the combat is gliding and I can play it in “real time” without pausing. here some videos:

DAO combat basics and combat in action

DA2 combat basics

Technical notes:

Dragon Age Origins was once available on both Mac and PC, but it looks like for all intents and purposes, it’s only available for PC now. I found this: “Dragon Age Origins was ported to Mac by a third party company that got bought out, so it's no longer available legitimately.” Origins for PC is currently on sale on Steam for $5, and the ultimate edition is $7.50. although I’m sure if you want to play it on Mac, there’s probably a place to download it out there.

Dragon Age 2 is available on both Mac and PC.

I hope that helped. LMK if you need more or that’s not the kind of information you’re looking for at all, lol.

[azdesertwillow]

I think the most annoying thing for me about the current Dragon Age/Cullen discourse is that so much of the hate and ire directed at Cullen fans act as if we are ONLY Cullen fans.

I've been in this fandom since December 2009 a month after the game came out, way back on live journal (shout out to my swooping_is_bad mutuals) and the shit show that was the old Bioware boards. And the most consistent thing I've seen (beyond the fandom wank) is that most people rarely ever just likes/ships one character.

These hot takes of saying "fans of This Character are just X, Y, Z" act like most of us don't have multiple play files for all the different romances and routes you can take. I think we're so far out from a new game that we've forgotten that rush that happens in the first few weeks where everyone is all "oh god that scene if you play as ____ is so much more dramatic" or "they do what now if you make this choice?!" or the "well my mage romanced this character but my rogue romance the exact opposite." We've settled down so much that some characters are slipping through the fandom cracks and new fans aren't seeing the love those characters got when the games were new. But I remember the bann-hammer days. I remember the Merric + sheep days. Jim the poor hapless Skyhold guard. The amazing posts about the chargers.

And not just that you can like more than one character, but that your faves can just be pure contradictions. My two favorite DA:O characters? Alistair and Morrigan. My guilty ship that I would never actually want to see? Anders/Fenris. Some of my favorite fics for this fandom have been just absolute pure crack fics for the DA2 kink meme that were so far from anything I would normally call "good".

This series is about exploration and choices and is designed for multiple play throughs. Your interaction with a character in one playthrough can go so completely different in another (god I loved the rivalmance mechanic, that shit was fucked up). It contains nuances and no easy answers. And it's only a video game. Actual people are even more complex.

So I just don't get why we are allowed only one defining character.

And I really don't understand why that character and what you do/don't like about that character and the various fandom takes on them somehow says everything about you as a person.

You can just like a thing. It doesn't have to be a deep reflection of your inner most thoughts. And if it is, that's okay too. My complex feelings about Anders is because of my family's own dark history with terrorism. My love of Fenris started because Gideon Emery voiced Balthier in ffxii. In both cases it isn't about just those single points.

If you're new to the fandom, Cullen fan or not, just know that when a new game comes out it's going to feel wildly different than these boxed off fandom corners we all seem to falling into. You'll discover characters you love that you didn't even think about during your first play through, simply because someone made a really great comic. You'll romance a character first, get betrayed, replay as a whole new character just to spite them. You'll be locked out of choices the second time that you wish you could choose again. You'll watch all the cut scenes for a specific type of play through because you can't be bothered to go through your 8th play through but that one popular post keeps referring to it. You'll reload so many save files because you don't want to be limited to just that one dialogue option.

One facet of the game that you liked is just that. It's a facet, both for the game and for yourself. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[hollyand-writes]

One of the things that hurts me most about Bethany and Carver is how neither of them really get what they want out of life, regardless of which path they take in Dragon Age 2. 

And one of things I have noticed on my current Bethany playthrough after my many, many Carver playthroughs is how much more similar the Hawke twins are than I’ve seen talked about in fandom -- because, ultimately, their fears and worries come down to the same thing. It is easy to miss, though, because they express themselves so differently. 

In my playthrough, Bethany is not necessarily the cheerful “sunshine” and the optimistic “sweet little sister” I often see her depicted as. Carver is not necessarily the grumpy, sullen “middle child” type (although it’s never explicitly confirmed that he’s actually a middle child) I often see him depicted as, either. Bethany has her hard, frosty edges. Carver has his soft, caring ones. 

Both twins are foils for each other in many ways -- Bethany the mage, Carver the warrior; Bethany the one who openly talks about her feelings, Carver the one who doesn’t; Bethany the one who’s overtly religious/devout, while Carver is privately so; Bethany expresses through her words, Carver expresses through his actions; Bethany, who starts on high friendship with (and admiration of) Hawke while Carver... definitely doesn’t -- but their character arcs in DA2 and even many of their dialogues and reactions are the same. 

Note that when you go to Sundermount in Act 1, Flemeth’s advice to them is exactly the same, regardless of how opposite Bethany and Carver seem on the surface. 

“Regret is something I know well. Take care not to cling to it, to hold it so close that it poisons your soul.” 

Curious, no? Why does Flemeth have the same advice for them on regret, despite Bethany being the “sunny” one and Carver being the “sulky” one? 

In a Regency AU longfic of mine, I write Bethany as the sunny, cheerful twin, but with a bit of the snark she has in game. The narrative choice I made to deviate her character from canon was because her circumstances are so different: both Hawke twins are alive, for a start. Bethany, in my AU, has every reason to be happy: she isn’t a mage, she is nobility, she lives in a nice house and has nice dresses and goes to parties where she got to flirt with a handsome prince and lives the life that she canonically loved so much in stories she read growing up. 

The Bethany in-game is... not quite like that. The Bethany in-game is worried. She is constantly looking over her shoulder for templars. The Bethany in-game talks with animation and interest and longing about what their life might have been like if they got to be Amells and nobility -- no poverty, no hiding, no running, no make-shift dresses that Leandra learned to sew when she ran away with Malcolm -- but also with a twinge of regret that her life couldn’t be like that. That her life couldn’t ever be like her dreams, like the stories she loves. 

The Bethany in-game is, as Carver tells you in the Legacy DLC, a girl who wanted so badly to just be “normal”. No magic. No hiding. No looking over her shoulder all the time for fear that the templars might come. Bethany is canonically a virgin in Act 1 but not because she’s this innocent, virginal sweet-little-sister type -- but because she was forced to hide. She couldn’t get too close to anyone, couldn’t let them ever see the real her, because she was a mage -- and because who could she trust, other than her family, not to sell her out to the templars? World of Thedas 2 talks about how she “never did anything fun [and] stayed down in her house most of the time.” It’s likely she didn’t want to be like that, but that she felt forced to be like that. 

(Carver had more freedom in that respect -- able to moon after Peaches or even get busy with her behind Old Barlin’s barn without worrying that he might accidentally reveal himself as a mage. It’s a secret that is easier to keep when it’s not you that’s the mage. And yet, even then, both Hawke twins found ways to help their neighbours and community in Lothering -- we learn from Act 2 letters that Carver helped a neighbour trap rats in the cellar, while Bethany helped the neighbour weed.)

And then, just when Bethany comes so close to that ideal life that she always wanted and dreamed of -- just as Hawke is about to hit the jackpot and reclaim the Amell Estate, and end all her worries about being a poor apostate unprotected by money or title (for that’s what the whole Deep Roads Expedition is about: Carver even says they need money, influence, status, anything to get the templars off their backs) -- her dreams are denied, again. She either goes to the Wardens or gets taken to the Circle. 

As a Warden, Bethany is obviously harder, bitter. Her interactions with you have more bite, less affection, and her regrets about the life she is now forced to lead are obvious. But I argue that while she seems “happier” in the Circle, she is not necessarily so. She is just better at hiding it in her letter to you -- and focuses on the fact that at least she is no longer forced to hide anymore. Her meeting with you during the Qunari battle at the end of Act 2 as a Circle mage is anything other than sunny: she is even cold towards Hawke: 

Hawke: ‘It’s a Hawke family reunion!”  Bethany, bitterly: “What’s left of it.” 

Or even: 

Hawke: “I’m glad you’re safe.” Bethany: “The city is under attack. None of us are safe.” 

Or even her angry response about you getting involved in Orsino and Meredith’s argument at the end of Act 3. Even as a Circle mage, you can hear the bitterness in her voice -- and if she comes back and fights with you as a Warden, it is obvious (at least to me) that she is still struggling to make peace with her new life and how its cost her even more than she thought her status as a mage already cost you all. 

But, as far as Bethany is concerned, at least in the Circle, she is no longer forced to hide anymore. If she can’t join you in (what she perceives, perhaps with some hint of envy in her interactions with you in the DLCs, as) your fancy life as a noble up in Hightown, if she can’t be “normal”, then at least she can be “normal for a mage”. Fleeing is exhausting. Knowing you are the reason your family are always fleeing -- or at least, one of the reasons your family is fleeing -- probably brings on a lot of guilt, at best... or even regrets that you were born and caused them so much difficulty, at worst. 

Bethany spends most of the game worrying about herself, for obvious reasons. Carver, on the other hand, spends most of the game worrying about you. 

Carver’s bitterness and regrets are more obvious than Bethany’s. Carver was not the boy who wanted to be “normal”: like he tells you in Act 1, “I want to be someone.” In the Wardens, he finds his purpose, albeit at a great personal cost he often glosses over in conversation. In the Templars, he is “a man still uncertain of his choice” but if there is one thing that can be said in its favour, it was his choice, for once. Not his family’s. Not Hawke’s. After all, what else could he do, when you chose to leave him behind and Bartrand returns without you and you’re presumably dead? When Fereldan refugees cannot find employment in the city and Aveline denies his application to be a city guard (which I believe would have been the best choice for Carver, and it’s kind of bittersweet that he only gets to be one -- or rather, help them out -- during DA:I when he’s been a templar for so many years and is addicted to lyrium). 

His mother is in mourning during Act 1 and won’t work; his uncle gambles all his money away. The templars are the only option open to a man of someone of his skills and desperation, and he naively joins thinking he can help people like Bethany -- his dead mage twin sister over whom he obviously has regrets that she was the one who died and not him. 

Both twins have a resentful streak over their circumstances, although Carver’s resentment is more obvious than Bethany’s (although Bethany’s resentment definitely comes out on occasion, much more so as a Warden; Bethany is just better at hiding/suppressing hers). Bethany’s codex entry says that “she could never give up her resentment of being different and fear for what their future would hold”. Carver’s resentment, on the other hand, comes from how that “difference” affected him and your family, not to mention the pain it caused Bethany over not “being normal”. 

Basically, neither the Hawke twins got what they wanted out of this life. They are forced to make do with less-than-ideal circumstances that turn them even further away from their hopes and dreams, whichever path you choose for them. They make do, and they cope as best as they can, no matter how well or imperfectly they do it. And it gets me in the feels every time. 

[istesvioutyet]

I love your response to the marriage system! Could you maybe tell me more about your qualms with DA’s romance systems? Also do you think Fallout 4’s system is a big improvement? Are there any shortcomings there you’d like to see patched especially with the characters themselves? I’m hoping they’ll expand on dialogue selections again instead of a wheel myself.

Sure! With DA Origins I felt the romances were a little too heavily dependent on gifts, and I’ve never really been a fan of game systems where you just feed items into someone until their personal quest drops out or whatever. It feels more like it belongs in Animal Crossing than an RPG. That said, it does a lot of good things, but at the end of the day the romances do feel a little bit shallow. With DA2, the romances just feel nonexistent in large swaths of the game. I feel like that’s more due to the game’s rushed development cycle than anything else, but it’s still frustrating that your relationship might come up like once or twice in party dialogue, if that, and that outside of the actual romance cutscenes and a slight physical alteration to the character’s costume, the game treats it like it doesn’t exist. I remember being paranoid my very first playthrough that my romance with Isabela had broken or something, until the VERY end of the game when there’s a brief conversation about it. With Inquisition I have a very similar issue in that your relationship just vanishes after a certain point, but this is worsened by the endgame outright cutting you off from dialogue with your companions around Skyhold. Nothing around your keep changes, and you’re left without any interaction whatsoever, which... this is why I like Skyrim’s marriage system so much: You get at least get the impression that you’re living with your spouse. In Inquisition, your love interest stays in whatever far-flung corner of the map they’re always relegated to and you can’t even talk to them about anything. It breaks any semblance of the game world feeling real.

Fallout 4′s companion system definitely feels like a vast improvement. It seems like they took a lot of hints from New Vegas, and that was a great step in the right direction. Companions all have much better-developed personal lives, with likes and dislikes that can change their opinion of you. This is something Bethesda’s never really attempted on this scale, and like... yeah, it definitely can use some improvements, but it’s a great change from past Bethesda games where at most you had to worry about your karma level or current standing as a criminal in whatever town you’re in.

I think ultimately the biggest problems with Fallout 4′s relationship systems come down to having a voiced protagonist. Every line of dialogue takes a chunk out of the game’s budget, so understandably they had to account for that. Dialogue options are thus limited, the interface is reduced, and options for roleplaying and character dynamics go down. Once they settled into a four-option wheel, that caused a MILLION problems in BOTH directions; yes, it sucks to only have four options sometimes because you wish there was more you could say, but also, it causes needless complexity when there doesn’t need to be any. In the past, dialogue has been able to have two, sometimes even one option and it’s been fine! Nobody complained about that, because it only ever happened in really straightforward instances when there really wasn’t much to say or do. But REQUIRING four options just overcomplicates things and makes them needlessly messy. People complain that the dialogue wheel in FO4 was “streamlining,” but in a lot of ways it was literally the opposite. It’s a needlessly-complicated interface.

They’ve implied in the past that having a voiced protagonist didn’t work as well as they’d hoped, so I have a good feeling they’re not going to try that again, and with the amount of race options in TES I’d certainly hope they wouldn’t try it with TES VI just because that would be expensive as HELL for them.

If they double down on making your interactions with the people in the world more expansive, the game will be better for it. Hell, it’ll be even better if they specifically focus on doing it with certain NPCs. I’m fine with not having dialogue with every named character, and I’m fine with having VERY limited options with most townsfolk, shopkeepers, etc. But if they can give us one or two dozen characters with a lot going on in their lives, with complex personalities, and a ton of roleplaying options, it’ll be brilliant. And if they SERIOUSLY reduce the amount of available companions so they can really focus on just a few, that would VASTLY improve the experience.

Also, this might be controversial, but I really want time to freeze when you enter dialogue again. I miss that. The game world continuing to move around you means you miss a lot of opportunities as characters wander away, or it means you have to rush through dialogue or skip it entirely in order to deal with one of the many threats that can pop up at any time, plus it runs through a LOT of in-game time for no reason. These game worlds run at an EXTREMELY fast time frame, in which minutes go by in mere seconds, so conversations with NPCs can easily take up in-game HOURS. That time frame is there for a lot of reasons--to imply a roughly-accurate passage of time as unseen miles are traversed in the wilderness and in cities, to imply that your character is eating and drinking outside of menus, to imply that you’re relieving yourself whenever the need arises, etc.--but I always felt like conversation time was always a part of that. Like, the time moves fast enough that it accounts for the frozen time during conversations. I dunno, this point seems hard to explain and I have no idea if I’m doing it well enough to make any sense

[shiftyarchfey]

Is making Jaal bi an issue?

Ok, so this is propably not the wisest thing for me to discuss because my thoughts are all jumbling around, but one thing about the whole biJaal debacle sticks out to me:

The argument that by making Jaal bi, Bioware is practicing erasure of straight people. This is the basic summary of some posts I’ve come across and I wanted to make something clear. This is propably going to be a longer post with rambling from yours dearly, so the rest is under the cut.

In a world where being a straight cis human being is represented in every possible media as the “norm”, is it truly erasure to make someone bi? From a wide pool of straight LIs? Of course you are entitled to feel that way. However, please think for a moment. This is not a loss for the “straight” community. Jaal is still available for a female Ryder. He is still going to have the same route and you will not be affected by it, except from the knowledge that if you had played as a male Ryder, you would be able to romance him as well. 

Your arguments against making him bi is simply that you don’t have him exclusively to you anymore, but have to “share” with the LGBT community. I’m asking this: Why do you feel that way? Because you don’t want to let us be happy without modding a game and possibly breaking it? I’m truly baffled about this argument. We aren’t taking him away from you. He’s still special, he’s still available to you. I would see your point if he was made exclusively gay, but he isn’t. He’s bi. So are a lot of other people as well and you wouldn’t bemoan the fact that they’d fall in love with you too if you were another gender.

The massive outrage against him being straight has its reasons: Firstly, I guess it was that somebody leaked some files and it was teased a lot that he would be available to both genders. The reveal that he wasn’t was accompanied by those feeling betrayed reaching out to Bioware. I admit, most of the messages sent to BW were incredibly rude and personally I do NOT approve of this kind of approach. But #MakeJaalBi got to trending and this had an impact. And a second reason was that accomplishment. You know, that one. No, not that it’s impossible to get the Nomad airborne for 30 seconds on PC because the controls don’t allow it (that is something that has to be fixed, BW). It’s the achievement for romancing 3 different people. With only 2 people available for a  m/m romance. 

Let’s compare: Suvi, Vetra (Squadmate), Peebee (Squadmate) vs Gil and Reyes (not much content anyways and/or possibly accompanied by the player opposing him, thus eliminating him from any romance possibilities). And then there’s the other romances: Cora, Vetra, Peebee (all squadmates) PLUS Keri T’Vessa and Avela Kjar (admittedly not much more content than Reyes, but they can be romanced at the same time as another squadmate without any problems) for a male Ryder and Liam and Jaal, both squadmates, plus Reyes for a female Ryder. The differences in content is massive. If I want to talk to Suvi or Gil, I have to go onboard the Tempest. If I want to hear Liam or Cora chatter, i can take them on any mission and they will be able to be at my PC’s side always.

I never heard any complaints about Vetra, Peebee, Keri or Reyes being bi. Two of the three male love interests for female pcs are squadmates. Gil is the only m/m romance available on the Tempest and his content is debatable as well (what’s up with Jill only pressuring her gay friends into having kids?). It certainly is not the problem about straight people being underrepresented here (or in any other media for that matter). This isn’t about you being erased. It’s about m/m being erased. And in a time where people are still being killed for feeling an attraction to the same gender this complaint seems to me as if a white person complains about “Reverse racism”. It’s not about you. You have the right to feel that way of course. It just doesen’t mean that it’s fair towards the people currently being underrepresented. And they are, make no mistake.

I as a person who identifies on the bi-spectrum (pansexual) am feeling disappointed in those complaining. This is a step into a direction of tolerance and not into erasure of any kind. It’s hurtful to me to not be seen as “Special” because I’m “not exclusively available”. Because, as I said, nothing is being taken away from Jaal as a character. It’s only the addition of something.

Another issue springs up that I want to talk about, that goes in the same direction:

I’ve read threads complaining that, if Jaal is bi now, it is only fair to be able to make Dorian or Sera bi too, “in exchange”. Because it’s “only fair if we have to share”. No. This is not the point. There are a lot of threads around as to why this is exactly the opposite of fair. Anders was a point as well, because in Awakening he seemed to be at ease flirting with the female characters but he’s had Karl in da2. This is the same point as I chewed through above already. He’s not lost a thing. Why do you all see the change from heterosexual to bisexual as a loss? What makes you “lose” anything? 

There was some talk about the old old stereotype of bi people cheating a lot because, um, bi? two? possibly at a time? So is it that? I might want to add here that it’s entirely possible to cheat on your LI in me:a, REGARDLESS of who you romance.  And this has nothing to do with being bi. Jaal isn’t going to cheat on your PC now, just because of that. It’s very offensive to think that way. 

I repeat myself, but if you think that way, ok. Do what you want, I don’t care. But if you feel robbed or cheated or anything, please consider. This rant was born out of personal grief and the biphobia I have experienced and I ask myself what made you feel that way? What about being able to love anyone is offensive to you? This update changes nothing for you. It changes the whole experience for people like me. You did not lose a thing. I still gained a lot. 

Cheers.

[electricghoti]

On the Viability of Unarmed Combat in Dragon Age

In the RPG genre, the skill of unarmed fighting (also known as hand-to-hand) is very common in game settings representing a fantasy medieval universe. Unarmed combat is most often represented without weapons of any kind, however in some games such as the DnD based Neverwinter Nights, unarmed combat is also represented by close combat weapons such as clubs, kamas, and daggers. While in reality, an unarmed combatant has such a disadvantage against an armed opponent that there is no contest of the outcome. Fantasy magic settings such as DnD, Elderscrolls and Warcraft allow for unarmed combat to equal armed combat by way of magic. 

DnD monks use an internal form of magic energy called ki which allows them to power attacks with the equivalent strength of a sword, or block with the strength of a shield without breaking bones. Ki allows a monk to be "centered" as long as they do not hold weapons other than close combat weapons, and this balance also increases their overall movement speed and allows them to heal themselves a limited number of times per DnD "day."

While Dragon Age is not directly related to DnD, I believe the magic in the Dragon Age universe allows for very similar types of abilities that can be applied from the DnD monk to make it a reasonable addition to the existing mage specializations. Unarmed fighting does not simply mean punching and kicking an opponent. Traditional unarmed combat also focuses on wrestling, grappling, and redirecting movement to disable a person. Spells already exist to disable opponents from a distance. In fact, many existing Circle spells exist that can be applied in close combat and would enhance an unarmed fighter's chances to win against armed opponents.

Passive Spells

Telekinetic Weapons - While this mode is active, the caster enchants the party's melee weapons with telekinetic energy that increases armor penetration.

Found in the Spirit tree of Dragon Age Origins, telekinetic weapons essentially add extra force to a weapon or fist strike. A glove with metal or lyrium laced knuckle protection or even a simple dagger would have enhanced power to potentially dent heavy armor at the joints to limit mobility, punch through leather armor, or knock off helmets to leave a person's head exposed.

Flaming/Frost Weapons - The caster enchants the party's melee weapons with frost or fire energy to deal extra elemental damage with each attack.

These spells are also found in Dragon Age Origins, and also Dragon Age 2 as a combined Elemental Weapons sustained spell. Cold and fire damage in an RPG means frostburns, flash freezing, burns, and clothing being set on fire in a more "realistic" capacity. A mage monk grappling an opponent with Frost Weapons active can cool someone down to hypothermia. A mage monk grappling with Flaming Weapons will cook a person inside a suit of armor, or overheat them to the point of heat stroke.

Rock Armor - The caster's skin becomes as hard as stone, granting a bonus to armor for as long as this mode is active.

Fade Shield - You draw back the energy released by your enemies in your attacks against them. Any successful attack strengthens your barrier.

Arcane Shield/Barrier - The caster generates protective sheath that helps divert incoming attacks, gaining a bonus to defense while this mode is active.

These three spells are the primary damage diverting skills available in the games, with Arcane Shield changing to Barrier in Inquisition. Rock armor directly modifies the skin of a person, while Barrier is a tangible field of energy that surrounds an entire person. For a street fight Rock Armor would be the most stealthy of the two, whereas a Barrier helps more in multi-opponent or potential friendly fire situations. 

With the addition of the Fade Shield passive, a Barrier could protect a mage monk from harm as long as they put in the energy to continuously attack. This particular passive is one of the biggest reasons a Knight Enchanter is seen as "easy mode" or overpowered in Inquisition. A person that continuously attacks, even if the attack does very little damage, prevents total harm via magic Fade energy.

Haste - While this mode is active, the caster imbues the party with speed, allowing them to move and attack significantly faster, although the spell also imposes a small penalty to attack.

This spell (also seen in DA2 and Inquisition) gives an advantage to both the true unarmed, and the dagger fighter by using speed to potentially bypass the reach of a pole weapon, and the arming time of a bow user. As this appears as a high level spell in all three games (requiring Focus and a specialization in Inquisition), only those with a high enough willpower or strong connection to the Fade have the ability to use Haste. This means despite its great advantage, a mage monk presented in the game will most likely rely on barriers or Rock Armor for protection until they are able to train enough to focus on a Haste spell in combat.

These are only a few notable examples of spells that would be available to a Circle trained mage wanting to put into practice close combat magic. The Primal and Spirit schools (which are the most popular) house most of the spells, while the Knight Enchanter class from Inquisition has many passives that benefit a close combat fighter. The latter is with good reason, as Knight Enchanters are meant to be melee and support fighters and are the closest representative Dragon Age currently has to the mage monk.

Active Spells

While all existing mage spells can be cast at range, several spells can be extremely useful in close combat due to their range, short preparation time, and/or overall effects.

Winter's Grasp - You lock a target in ice, freezing it in place. // The caster envelops the target in frost, freezing lower-level targets solid. Those that resist suffer a penalty to movement speed.

Fade Step - You let invisible waves of magic carry you forward, blurring ahead a short distance.

Lightning - You summon a bolt of lightning that blasts and paralyzes a single target. // The caster fires a bolt of lightning at a target, dealing electricity damage.

Flashfire - You ignire an enemy in searing pain and send them fleeing in panic.

Flame Blast - The caster's hands erupt with a cone of flame, inflicting fire damage on all targets in the area for a short time.

Cone of Cold - The caster's hands erupt with a cone of frost, freezing targets solid unless they pass a physical resistance check, and slowing their movement otherwise.

Shock - The caster's hands erupt, emitting a cone of lightning, damaging all targets in the area.

All of the above spells are available in the Primal school of magic. The cone spells specifically are only able to hit enemies within a short range as they are emitted directly from the caster's hands. In a close quarters situation such as an ally or other choke point, cone spells are best for disabling or slowing down several opponents at once. Winter's Grasp and Lightning primarily hit a single target, although anyone standing close by can also suffer additional effects such as slowed movement speed or paralysis. 

Along with traditional martial art and unarmed techniques, these spells can disable or slow enemies to level the playing field for an unarmed person. The Primal school of magic is the most popular school for Circle students to specialize in, and is the easiest one to master. For a Circle trained mage, these spells would be easiest to adapt into a melee unarmed fighting style.

Mind Blast - The caster projects a wave of telekinetic force that stuns enemies caught in the sphere.

Dispel Magic - The caster removes all dispellable effects from the target.

Mana Clash - The caster expels a large amount of mana in direct opposition to enemy spellcasters, who are completely drained of mana and suffer spirit damage proportional to the amount of mana they lost.

These spells appear in the Spirit tree in Origins, though are spread out to other classes in Inquisition. The school of Spirit focuses on the manipulation of the Fade, and therefore has the most affect against enemy mages. A mage monk who is in combat with another mage should seek to counter by either interrupting their spellcasting with physical force, or first disabling them with specific spells. Mind Blast can obviously be used  against non-mage enemies. 

Mana Clash is a high tier spell that would require high levels of willpower and skill to cast, especially if the end of a fight is not in sight. While Mana Clash mechanically is very effective on its own, when combined with a proper grapple or physical interruption, it can be used to subdue or outright kill other mages that would otherwise give a huge advantage to an enemy faction.

Fist of the Maker/ Veilstrike - The mage slams enemies into the ground with incredible power, against which armor is no protection. // You recreate your own fist from the essence of the Fade and smash nearby foes to the ground.

Telekinetic Burst - The mage summons a wave of telekinetic force that hurtles enemies away from the core of the blast.

Stonefist - You summon a boulder from the Fade and smash it into your target, sending them flying. // The caster hurls a stone projectile that knocks down the target.

The first two spells were introduced in DA2 with the Force Mage specialization. Stonefist was first in the Primal tree of Origins, and later moved to the Rift Mage specialization in Inquisition. All three spells manipulate magic presented in a physical way as telekinesis, or a rock in the case of Stonefist. Waves of force similar to Mind Blast, but much more focused and disciplined than other schools or specializations. While DA2 didn't have the Arcane Warrior, Force Mages were the closest melee specialization the game had. Force Mages (a Kirkwall specialty) have the capability to become nearly immune to knockdown effects from physical or elemental forces. 

Combined with their kinetic prowess, these spells would allow a mage monk to control the battlefield more directly than elemental spells. Larger groups of enemies can be flung around or knocked down with these spells than other types of close combat spells, which means that for a short time a single mage monk could distract or hurt many enemies at once. 

Unique Spell

Spirit Blade - You create a blade of solid magic to make melee attacks against nearby enemies, bypassing their guard and barriers.

That's it. That's the unique spell. I mention this particular spell because it can be adapted for many styles of combat other than straight up swording. While our characters are limited specifically to the sword, the blade itself is a manifestation of a spirit that has agreed to fight for our mage characters. The required crafted item before learning Knight Enchanter skills is a hilt that will house the spirit. 

From the Way of the Knight Enchanter text: Knight-Enchanters learn to manifest their will as a physical blade, but first they craft a hilt. It must be as sturdy and powerful, for within is bound a willing spirit that will weave mana into a blade that can wink in and out of existence and never break.

This text implies that a mage could manifest this spirit as whatever weapon they choose as long as there is an appropriate physical piece for the spirit to be bound in. A hilt for a sword, handle for a shield, a length of wood for a club, or even a glove for brass knuckles if you want to get really inventive. The spirit is willing and the shape of the weapon is a manifestation of the mage's willpower. 

A mage monk still has the ability to fight well even if disarmed of a physical weapon. This also presents unique opportunities for mage monks to use an opponents confidence against them after being disarmed. Mage monks could also have the capability to be passable assassins due to not needing to rely on concealing a physical dagger, or a bard for similar reasons.

The spirit blade also has the unique ability to bypass most armor, even plate due to its very nature. Spirit damage bypasses 50% of an enemy's armor value in Inquisition, and very few creatures are resistant to spirit damage. Unlike flame and frost, it is more difficult to create enchantments to resist spirit. Barriers are also ineffective against a spirit blade.

Spellcasting in Thedas

Casting spells in the Dragon Age universe requires a certain amount of personal willpower and a strong connection to the Fade. Some mages do not have a very strong connection to the Fade, and even will strong willpower cannot cast anything stronger than sparks (such as Minaeve from Inquisition). Some mages have a very strong connection to the Fade and are able to cast very demanding spells, or many spells in a short amount of time (potentially mage Wardens, Hawkes, and Inquisitors).

Wynne and other NPCs imply that spellcasting is a delicate art that requires precise hand movements or words of power to manipulate magic and any deviation could have dangerous results. Circle mage spellcasting seems to heavily rely on mnemonic movements or phrases that are learned as apprentices training to become full mages in order to reliably and safely harness the desired magical effect. 

Mnemonics in the real world are mostly phrases or acronyms to assist in memorization of a concept, e.g. PEMDAS in elementary mathematics. Muscle memory is a physical mnemonic device. Learning the timing of a specific boss attack in a WoW raid, or learning the proper way to shoot a basketball into a hoop. A spellcasting mnemonic can theoretically be applied to physical movements more related to combat, or limited to small and quick hand gestures that can be done in a very small space. 

While using the mnemonic isn't strictly necessary to spellcasting once a mage is used to the feel of the magic "pathways" they use, it can still be usefully applied to physical combat techniques in a similar way to Benders in the Avatar universe. A Fire Bender can simply summon fire in their hand, but in combat there is additional strength to be gained in fighting with the particular martial art style that compliments the element used. In the same way, an apprentice mage is taught methods and mnemonics to assist in summoning magic in a controllable way that will make it easier and more familiar the more experience an apprentice gains. Over time the apprentice gains the experience and knowledge to just concentrate and summon a ball of flame in their hand because they don't need to go through the entire PEMDAS method, they can simply skip to AS in that situation.

Hedge Mages

Hedge mages are mages that learn to harness magic outside of Circle teachings. They are similar to apostates in that they live outside Chantry law due to not being in a Circle, however unlike mages escaping from a Circle, they have never learned Circle magic. Hedge mages include Avvar shamans such as the one from the Jaws of Hakkon DLC, Morrigan, Saarebas, and Rivaini Seers.

Hedge magic is potentially wild and dangerous, but also very powerful because magic can be harnessed and used in unexpected ways. Shapeshifting, in fact, is based on hedge magic used by some barbarian tribes. Hedge mages are especially unique in that they do not have the ability to perform spells that Circle mages can. They learn to use and call on magic in such a specific way that the ability to learn to perform Circle magic is stunted to impossibility. 

I mention hedge mages because it is possible for them to perform magic that is similar to Circle magic, yet has different effects than expected. I also mention hedge magic because it is also likely that a mage who has never been to the Circle and lives as a thug or mercenary could inadvertently learn to channel magic through force of will and physical action rather than the more esoteric study of Circles. Barbarian tribes such as the Avvar do not cloister their mages and it could be possible for a person of the Clayne or Chasind to learn to supplement physical fighting with magic. 

While Bioware has chosen to forego the monk class in the Dragon Age games, I believe there can be the possibility for the mage monk to exist in fanfiction as a legitimate fork to the existing mage class and specializations due to the existence of magic in and of itself. The Dragon Age universe presents magic much more simply than other settings, yet there is still a great deal of flexibility that could allow for a mage to be trained in lethal and non-lethal combat techniques and incorporate existing in-game spells to supplement the physical aspect the combat. The Arcane Warrior and Knight Enchanter are already melee oriented mages, which sets a precedent for unarmed mages to follow with the use of both hand to hand weapons such as a dagger or club, or even completely unarmed fighting if heavily supplemented with proper spellcasting to minimize or remove the advantage an armed fighter has. 

I appreciate any additional insight or questions that could both add credibility to this meta theory or prove that it is too unrealistic or lore-unfriendly for this setting.

Primary information collected from the Dragon Age Wiki:

Creation Spells

Primal Spells

Spirit Spells

School of Magic: Spirit

School of Magic: Primal

Way of the Knight Enchanter

Spirit Blade

Force Mage

Hedge Magic

Mages and Magic

Inquisition Abilities

Arcane Warrior

Knight-Enchanter

Shapeshifter

Mana and the Use of Magic

Cardinal Rules of Magic

[becky-helene]

It’s so weird when you realize you’ve seen a voice actor from a game in something else w/o realizing it was them, and once you know it’s all you hear and you feel so dumb for not hearing it earlier.

Case in point 1: realizing male Brit Inquistor voice=Bertie from Downton Abbey. Years of loads of DAI playing and DA binging never heard it, but then once I found out now I’m like omg I hear it alll the time. My most recent DA binge just so happen to coincide with a m!Trevelyan playthrough. So switching between the two was a trip.

Case in point 2/current mind trip: Cassandra’s voice actress (totally blanking on her name) pops up in an episode of Death in Paradise. I’ve binged the early eps on Netflix loads of times, and even after finding out it’s the same actress was like huh I don’t hear it. Yet for some reason, reaching the episode in question, hearing her talk, all I hear is Cassandra. Even with difference in accent, all Cassandra.

Interestingly enough, this same episode has kind of the opposite with another character/actor. One of the other guest stars/suspects/etc every time I see this ep and hear him I’m like “....that’s a Dragon Age voice! I don’t know who’s or what but I KNOW it’s a Dragon Age voice!” I first kept coming back to being so sure he had been some significant da2 voice, but according to IMDb the guy wasn’t in that at all but was in Treaspasser and Jaws of Hakon doing “additional voices”.....so helpful lol. And though I’m like “that’s a dragon age voice!” I cant for the life of me figure out what character I’ve heard that voice attached to. It drives me crazy every time I see this episode.