#currently ignoring Gat out of hell because I can’t fucking play it on my laptop for some reason????

[laugh-of-the-medusa]

Fuckers should’ve just remastered the older Saints Row games and made a mad epic time travel sequel where you have mini take overs for different periods

to ensure shit will happen as it is because a rogue Zin (maybe like Zinyak’s child or successor or some shit) is trying to fuck up earth’s history to ensure the Saints / The Boss don’t happen (also makes it a funny way to insert a bunch of different Bosses lmao)

until you get to earth before the Zin invasion and it’s the Saints Empire (Player-controlled) vs Zin Empire 2.0

And it’s a wild card whether the current Saints / Boss in that timeline are going to be on your side OR rightfully going to try and bring the the Saints Empire down because they’re trying to usurp their existence (ends with the main dudes from SRIV and the alternate timeline Saints merging through some simulation shit and one set of bodies disintegrating because they can’t exist at the same time) and they defeat the Zin again

OR it’s twice as many of SRIV’s cast of Saints for double the fucking chaos

Either way it ends with the next big bad being a god that wants to destroy the galaxy because you keep having to raise the fucking stakes to some bigger shit

AND THEN after that game you open with the Saints Row Reboot where the events of the OG Saints Row is some sort of series / comics / fanfiction / SOMETHING (cause honestly the ridiculous higher and higher stakes going into the next season sounds very Supernatural to me) but it’s also a * wink wink nudge nudge * actual alternate universe

GODDAMN WHY DIDNT THESE FUCKERS LEAN INTO HOW UNHINGED AND RIDICULOUS SAINTS ROW BECAME I WAS ROBBED MAN I WAS ROBBED