#currently distracted by my sister’s destination wedding next week but

[majicmarker]

slowly but surely i’m keeping at the jason pov fic, like, we’re actually gonna Finish This One, folks, i just need to milk my focus for all it’s worth

[its-me-im-coraline]

Jughead Jones | My little Serpent

Count of words: 2567

Warnings: super long, longer than intended, fluff, maybe kind of spoiler about the season finale but I guess you have all seen it. I SWEAR I DIDN’T INTEND ON WRITE SUCH A LONG IMAGINE BUT I’M PROUD!

A/N: this is seriously as good as it could be. It is currently very late at night and while I was trying to sleep I couldn’t cause someone is having a wedding on the next street and there are fireworks, which I’m scared of so heeey I got a distraction.....I swear this is 100% your average big greek fat wedding going on in that house. IT’S BEEN ALMOST 6 HOURS NOW!!! Sorry I rumble about this... Anyway enjoy my late night creation ♥

PS. Let’s pretend that Fred was either not shot or survived the shot...

(My little Serpent part two)  (My little Serpent part three)

MASTERLIST

PROMPTS

AND REQUESTS HERE

@tayrae515 asked: Ok so don't hate me but I had another idea! Could you do one where you are once again Archie's younger sister and you and Jughead are really close friends so when he became a serpent you were around them a lot and became friends of the serpents and because they take care of there own the offer you a jacket to and Archie and Betty and the gang find out and get upset, they feel like they already lost Juggie and don't want to lose another friend but you join and idk fluff? Jughead x reader. 💕💕💕

Even with all that crazy stuff following you ever since the death of Jason Blossom, you thought that for once you could have a quiet day. And you did, but not for long. You woke up that morning with your brother, Archie, and his best friend ,and roomate, Jughead jumping on top of you. They were laughing while trying to wake you up to have break fast and go to school with them. As soon as you realised what was going on the two dorks started tickling you and the extreme laughter combined with the extreme ab exersise you were getting by it didn’t really let you talk. “Stop! Stop you are killing me,” you yelled. “DAD! SAVE ME!” You called at him after seeing him standing by the door, admiring the joyfull moment before him. “Hey, boys, enough,” he tried stoping him but the didn’t stop. “Well, you know what they say, Y/N. ‘If you can’t stop them, join them’ .“ “NO!” You screamed as your dad joined the two boys tickling you; more like stabbing you, with their fingers. 

“I hate you all,” you said at the two boys sitting in front of you eating breakfast trying to suppress their chuckles. “She’s right, you know,” your father butted in jokingly. “Oh, you don’t talk,” you grumped and went on with your breakfast as the man let out a breathy laugh.

The day seemed to be rather calm. You know, stupid classes, small breaks, lunch with your brother and his friends; in which Jughead would not stop tickling you. You really had no idea why they were like that today but you liked it. As much as you hated to admit you liked it. But, your quiet day came to an end as soon as you walked inside your house with your brother and your close friend short behind you. 

As you stepped a foot inside you spotted a woman around the age of your father talking to him. “Hey, guys. This is Ms. Weiss from Social Services. She’s, uh, she’s Jughead’s case worker.” Your father declared as soon as he saw you three. You all seemed shocked and you were. While the boys walked towards the small kitchen you followed close behind. “Jughead, I know how terrible and emotional the last few days have been for you. Your father’s facing serious jail time. Your mom’s over-extended and out of state. We just want to make sure that you’re taken care of.” The woman admitted and Archie butted in , “Well, he can keep staying with us, right, Dad?” Your father simply sent him a sad smile telling him that he already offered. At that moment you knew what was coming. You took Jughead’s arm in your hands and held it firmly, while you later proceeded on hugging it close you your body and interwine your fingers together. He turned his gaze on you for a second smile at the sight of you like this. No, you were not together, not that it would bother you. But Jughead was the person you truly fitten in with. He was quiet and so were you. You were the two members of the little group of friends that would never talk, and when you were it would mostly be between you two and you would be just making sarcastic remarks. “Great, so what’s the problem?” You asked even though you knew the answer.  “It was a DUI. After your mom left. Look, we can talk about this later but between that and my cash flow problem, it knocks me out.” Your father explained as Jughead gave your hand a reasuring squeeze. “There is a family on the Southside that’s offered to foster you. They’re good people, they’ve worked with us before.” The woman added while looking at him. “That doesn’t sound completely horrible.” Jughead reasoned, saying that mostly for you to hear. “It does mean you’ll be in a different school district, Jughead, and you’ll have to transfer schools.” That’s when you lost it. The only person you were comfortable around in school was going to tranfer to the southside. Great, wasn’t that just great?

After leaving them and dashing into your room you were completely unaware of anything else that was said. All you could do was stay in your room and try to calm down a bit. There was a soft knock on the door and without having anytime time to answer the sudden visitor opened the door. “Are you ok?” A person you recognised as Jughead asked. You slowly rearrenge your posistion so you could look at him. “Do I look ok?” you replied with tear stained eyes. “Oh, little one, come here. I’m not gonna be that far away,” he said hugging you close to his body. “I’ll tell you what. I will be staying at my dad’s house, ok? And you will be coming over as frequently as you would like, ok? We could even have sleepovers!” He cheered trying to explain to you that it was not the end of the world. “Yeah, ok. But you will not be there with me at school. How will I do that?” you asked, probably acting like a baby but you didn’t care. “Well, uhm, I could give you my beanie but we both now I won’t,” he said jokingly and making you smlie, “but I will give you one of my flannels. You can wear it on school and it’ll be as if I’m there, yeah?” He said giving you a peck on the forehead. “Good. Want me to sleep here tonight?” he asked and you simply nodded as he started getting comfortable in the bed and pulling you towards his body, embrassing yoy and allowing the heat to warm your small body up in this cold night. “The door stays open,” your father called passing by, always destroying the moment.

It had already been a couple of days ever since Jughead moved to the southside and you spent most of your time there.You would finish school and then you would instantly run to FP’s trailer to meet Jug and today was not going to be any different. The thing was that before that Jughead would come over so you all would go to the Jubilee together and as much as he hated it he did it for you. He walked inside and was stunned after he saw you. You were standing by the kitchen island with your brother and mother. A stunning off-the-shoulder tight-fitted black dress, falling down to your knees. You looked absolutely stunning and Jughead could not hide it. “Oh, Jug’s here,” your mother called and you saw the boy looking at you all. “Jug!” You called and walked up to hug him. “Hey little one,” he said hugging back and giving you a forehead kiss. “Are they a thing?” Your mother asked Archie silently that replied with a disappointed no. “I think we should head off,” your dad said and grabbed his car keys as you all walked to the truck.

After the boring dance was over... Well, it was not so boring. I mean you had Betty’s speach and your brother sing with his current love intrest, and your mum being annoying and a lot more things, but let’s stick to boring. So, after the boring dance was over you and Jughead were going to walk to his father’s trailer, watch a movie and you would then sleep here. And that’s exactly what happened, with a little twist. You made it to your destination and walked inside. Jughead offered you a shirt of his he knew would be huge on you and a pair of his boxers as shorts, knowing that his sweatpants would be enormous on you. You were after all tiny in front of him, but he found that cute. Not that you knew. After putting that on you found Jughead sitting on the couch turning on the TV to find a good movie, and knowing him it would probably be some great old one or a scary movie since he was always amused when you got scared. But his actions were stopped when there was a knock on the door. He walked outside but you didn’t know what happened until you got out as well to see what took him so long and he was wearing his father’s Serpent jacket. When he saw you he seemed scared of your reaction but you took it surprisingly well. You even said that he looked like a very dark version of Clark Kent with the hair and all, or like a younger and more adorable version of Damon Salvatore. After that you continued doing what was on your original plans.

Your brother and his friends were devastated when they saw Jughead walk inside Pop’s wearing his Serpent jacket. Betty was shocked to say the least, while your brother seemed angry, Veronica didn’t think much of it and neither did Kevin so they just kept on making jokes and comments like the ones you did when he was given the jacket. The downside of this was that you were going to have your brother talk about this for a long long time, but you would indeed avoid it as much as possible. 

It had been about a week since Jughead became in charge of the southside Surpents, since his father was the ‘leader’ before. But he did have help both from you and a man’s that was second-in-command that took his dad’s place until Jughead came to the southside. Due to that and because you and him seemed to become even closer with everything that happened you spent a lot of time together in the southside, either just walking around and talking, or staying at his house, or some times spending a lot of time in the Whyte Wyrm. Everyone was surprised and you constantly had your brother or father trying to keep you from going there with Jug, but you didn’t seemed to care. The thing is the Serpents accept you as their own, they got your back not matter what. Like that time this girl from your school started calling you names and some of them happened to be around they did everything to protect you from her and make sure you didn’t actually believe everything she said. They even had one of their own stick around you just to make sure you were ok but your brother didn’t know. 

One day you all were going to hang out over at Jug’s so you, your brother and the girls were driving there in Archie’s truck. Just as you stepped outside a bunch of Serpents appeared in front of you. Betty got scared, thinking they would attack you or something, since they were told you to stop walking, and she hurried to get Jughead. He walked towards you watching as the second-in-command came over to you and hugged you. “Look,” he began, “we see your friends here are like family to you, you are one of them. But you are family to us and you are one of us. And you know how we take of our own. So we wanted you to know that we will keep on taking care of you, kid. It’s always good when you stick around and, well, we thought you deserve to have this. You deserve to have this cause, as I said you are one of us.” He finished. It was so sweet how much these people cared for you. I mean you grew up with the idea that they are vicious and bad. But they’re not. They are nice people; different people that are under the influence of the stereotypes. You smiled at the man and reached for the jacked but Archie stopped you. “Y/N, no. Don’t you dare. You are not a surpent. You are one of us.” He said. “He’s right, Y/N. You don’t belong with them but with us.” Veronica butted in, agreeing with the stupidity of my brother. “We already lost Jughead to the serpents,little one, we can’t lose you as well,” said Betty adding to the anger that began to boil inside of you. “You are joking right? You don’t mean this stupid things you said.” You mumble. “No, Y/N we’re not,” replied Archie. You looked down for a second contemplaiting what was going on exactly, and then you did what your friends and brother didn’t want you to. You grabbed the jacket from the surpent and wrapped it around your body. After a long time you felt like home. You felt that you truly belonged somewhere. The serpents start cheering on your decision the one that gave you the jacket even hugged you once again. Jughead stared in aw as the two girls with Archie walked inside.

The serpents left and both you and Jughead walked inside meeting a furious Archie, a disappointed Betty and an annoyed Veronica. “What’s wrong with you guys?” You asked trying to understand why they all were like that. “What’s wrong? You ask what’s wrong? Y/N, you are no serpent. You are my sister. They are no good for you.” Archie said pacing up and down the small space. “Arch are you joking? They are amazing people. At least most of them. They treat me like family, they take care of me. They have one of their own to keep an eye on me and make sure I’m safe with all that shit you guys get yourselves into and drag me into as well.” You fired back at him. “Wow, Y/N, wow.” Betty said looking at you with a very disappointed, almost discussted look. Tears pricked your eyes as this kept going on for a while. “Just don’t come home until you find a way to explain this to dad,” he said in an angry matter. “That’s it. Get out. All of you get out. And don’t come talk to me or her until you stop being irrational.” Jughead yelled, seeing how these words hurt you. You started sobbing in an instand as Archie said that and Jughead pulled you into his arms. Archie tried to apologise but Jug didn’t let him. “I said leave. Now.” He chanted once more since your brother wouldn’t leave. Eventually he did and Jughead picked you up and walked to the couch.

The whole night you spent on that couch. He would say things to calm you down but your tears would not stop. He wouldn’t give up though. He would hold you in his arms stroking your hair and back in attemts to relax you. “It’s ok Y/N. It’s gonna be alright. You can stay here for as long as needed. You know the serpents love you. I love you,” he said. You stopped crying after he said that and you just stared at his face. “Yo-you love me?” You asked surprised. Jug didn’t reply so you took matters in your own hands and you kissed him. You kissed him with so much love you had never shown to anyone. “I love you too,” you uttered before the boy took you in his arms bridal style and run to the bedroom playfully as you laughed. He seemed so happy you said that, so he threw you on the bed and run to the window and opened it. “My little serpent loves me back,” he screamed repeatingly so every one would know.

[memsmedic1]

Family, Work, and Divemastering (Nov 5, 2018-May 23, 2019)

At noon on Monday, November 5 Nathan and I, along with a couple of our more adventurous team members, took our scuba tanks and gear into downtown Yangon to the public pool I’d scoped out the week before and gotten permission to use from the pool manager.

We were going in order to practice some basic diving drills to refresh our skills (and have fun) in preparation for an upcoming dive. Nathan had been diving several times over the spring and summer since he was working on his instructor certification, but I’d always had other responsibilities and hadn’t been able to go with him. I’m pretty sure nobody at the pool had ever seen anything like it before because soon we attracted several amazed spectators!

The night of the 7th Nathan and I met up with one of our friends, Dr. Than Win, to drive 5 hours northwest of Yangon out to the small coastal fishing town of Ngwe Saung, on the Bay of Bengal, to go scuba diving again. Arriving at the beach after an exhausting, bumpy ride over narrow, primitive roads, we parked in a vacant lot for a few hours until dawn and then hauled our gear bags over a rickety wooden bridge spanning a small estuary and across a wide sandy beach to the predetermined rendezvous point with the boat.

The boat, was, as we should have expected, enormously late. This was not a problem though, as it gave us the opportunity to watch a sunrise wedding photoshoot and visit with three other young divers who were traveling the world on a cruise ship while enrolled in a ‘study at sea’ type of college program!

A small outboard motorboat finally arrived to ferry us out across the crystal clear water, just a little bit warmer than the early morning air, to the larger boat we would be diving from. This boat was a great hulking wooden monstrosity, with a huge, loud, water-cooled, underpowered inboard engine taking up the entire hold. When the engine cranked over several liters of greasy oily water belched out from the bilge directly onto the deck of the boat moored next to us and commenced spreading out in a thin film over the water.

As soon as the gear was stowed and the anchors weighed we started on what was supposed to be a 45 minute ride out to some small islands where the dives would take place. The problem though was that our boat was slow. We were on the slow boat to India! We couldn’t see it on the way out, but this boat was so slow that on the way back the incoming swells were rolling past us as if we were standing still!

Scuba diving in Myanmar is relatively uncommon, probably because it’s like trying to herd cats to get anything done here; very little English comprehension, outdated regulations, atrocious roads, restrictive lodging requirements, and the list goes on. (Could the not-uncommon Saltwater Crocodiles be another factor?)

Safe and conservative diving is recommended when diving in Myanmar because Myanmar healthcare facilities and infrastructure are so substandard. Also, poorly maintained equipment, minimally trained “instructors”, or instructors and Divemasters with expired licenses result in the level of professionalism and the quality of the dive gear being lower than what international divers would expect. Diving accidents should therefore at all cost be avoided.

I was glad we had all our own gear, including a fully stocked custom-built med bag to deal with any unavoidable diving-related emergencies that might arise, whether medical or trauma, because it’s a bloody long way back to anything resembling a hospital, and even farther to Monkey Point Naval Base in Yangon, which currently boasts the only operable hyperbaric chamber in the entire country!

Finally we arrived at the dive site just off Bird Island, and after getting geared up, entered the water to start our first dive. The water was warm and pristine, with crystal clear visibility for over 100 feet! This amazing visibility gave us a nice buffer to keep a sharp lookout for Saltwater Crocodiles, which are commonly seen in the area, but fortunately we didn’t see any.

Sadly though, unbridled fishing practices including heavy dynamite fishing has decimated the coral reefs and other marine life, and the water was sparsely inhabited in general. I was, however, able to see a lionfish, a bluespotted whiptail ray, several nudibranchs, small reef fish, and flying fish while on the way back to shore.

Diving here reminded me of a fascinating though disputed story that occurred on an island just north of our dive location during World War 2: for six weeks during January and February of 1945, Ramree Island, situated just off the coast of Burma in the Bay of Bengal, was the setting for a bloody battle between Japanese and Allied forces.

The Battle of Ramree Island was part of the Burma Campaign during WW ll, and was launched for the purpose of dislodging Japanese Imperial forces that had occupied the island since early 1942, along with the rest of Southern Burma, and establishing an airbase there.

They were met with stiff resistance from the Japanese, and vicious fighting ensued. Finally, after a long and bloody battle, the Allies captured the enemy base, but a platoon of an estimated 1,000 Japanese soldiers escaped, and since they were surrounded on three sides by the British, they decided to retreat straight across the island through 16 km of dense tidal swampland to rejoin a much larger Japanese battalion on the other side.

Traveling through the thick, muck-filled swamps, over maze-like mangrove roots, and under tangled vines was slow and exhausting work, made worse by the clouds of mosquitoes biting to distraction and spreading malaria and dengue fever, as well as leeches and the various poisonous spiders, scorpions, and snakes slithering through the mud and underbrush like it was the forest of Endor.

During the night, as the fleeing soldiers struggled on towards the safety of their reinforced beachhead, British troops reported hearing panicked screams of terror and gunfire emanating from within the dark swamp. Unfortunately for the Japanese, the swamps of Ramree were infested by countless, very large Saltwater Crocodiles, which can grow over 20 feet long and weigh over 2,000 pounds.

Drawn by the tasty sounds of the weary and bloodied soldiers thrashing clumsily through their territory, the opportunity was just too good to pass up, so they didn’t. Out of just under 1,000 Japanese soldiers that entered the swamps of Ramree, only about 20 were found alive by their reinforcements the next morning!

*******************************************

On November 12th I was “surprised” by visitors when my mom and little sister Lexi came to see me! They flew into Yangon where I met them and we all went out to a Burmese restaurant for supper and to catch up on everything. They came loaded with food and gifts from my family and some of my Montana friends which was another big surprise and very much appreciated!

The next morning we took a taxi to the bus station and caught the bus traveling from Yangon to the small hill station of Kalaw, high up in the mountains of Shan State, the same town that hosted the half-marathon Trail Run our ambulance stood by for last year.

Kalaw is also one of the best places in Myanmar to go trekking, which is the reason we were here. I’d already researched the best trekking outfits and found out who was available, so that evening after checking into our hotel we went out and talked to a couple of them in person and made reservations for the next day.

Early morning on the 14th we started on the 3 day, 36 mile adventure by walking through the expansive early morning street market in Kalaw with our Pa’O guide, David, and 4 other adventurers with whom we became very good friends by the time we reached our destination of Inle Lake, on the other side of the mountains.

During the 1st day we walked through high pine forests, grassy wildflower strewn meadows, small scattered villages, and rich mountainside farmland where farmers were plowing with water buffalo and cultivating crops of ginger, chilies, mountain rice, and niger seeds.

In the afternoon a sudden rainstorm blew through, even though we were already several weeks into the dry season. Very quickly the trail became cold, slippery, and treacherously muddy. There were several spills and one of our group even had both their shoes sucked off their feet going through an especially wet and leechy stretch of the mountains!

In the evening we came to the village where we would be spending the night. After taking a bucket bath from the open communal well in the center of the village, I went up the stairs to the large communal bedroom that one of the villagers rented out and rolled out my blanket, then we all went to another villagers house and had a delicious (spectacularly) supper.

Maybe it was all the exercise, but the food on the trek was some of the best examples of Burmese and Pa’O (the predominant tribe in this part of the country) food I had while living in Myanmar, with a few exceptions when foreigner food was attempted (the pancakes on the final morning would have made great pothole fillers).

On the second day after breakfast we struck out again, soon leaving the high mountains behind dropping down into an expansive valley interspersed with rolling hills, small villages, and a cantankerous cow. We passed villagers shelling cobs and laying the corn out to dry in the sun, harvesting tomatoes and ginger, and weaving intricate baskets out of delicate strips of bamboo.

It was substantially hotter in the valley than the mountains, so when we came upon a medium sized river meandering along beside the trail and our guide suggested we stop for a swim and a rest, we were happy to take him up on it!

This was actually the very same river whose terminal end we would canoe out of and into the lake at journeys end, but David explained that its course was too serpentine and roundabout to warrant building a bamboo raft and floating out on it, which I had been thinking would be far more ameliorative for my blistery feet, the shoes of which were disintegrating before my very eyes as the trek unfolded.

Late in the afternoon we finally reached the lower bamboo and jungle clad mountains on the other side of the valley, which we began ascending for a couple hours. Just as dusk was falling we arrived at an enormous, ancient wooden monastery, which appeared to have been built in the middle of nowhere, and here we stopped and were granted lodging for our second night.

The fun thing about staying here was that a couple dozen small novitiate monks lived here in the monastery, and they challenged us to a game of pickup football (soccer) with them when we first arrived before it got dark. I’m convinced the only reason we were beaten so roundly was due to the various hardships of our journey, for example blisters and leech-induced anemia!

Early on the third morning, after finishing breakfast and patching up our feet as best we could, we continued on, first up, then down through the mountains, eventually coming upon a beautiful cobblestone road left over from colonial days which we followed all the way out of the mountains into another beautiful valley, and on towards Inle Lake, the second largest lake in Myanmar, and one of the highest, at 2,900 feet (880 meters). Near the lake, the ground is at or below water level, and the road was flooded in several areas even though the rest of the country was well into the dry season.

Finally the road ended entirely and we climbed a rickety wooden stile, crossed a rickety wooden catwalk over a boat canal that connects the village to the river, balanced along a slippery, muddy dyke, and finally arrived at a villagers house where we could rest and have lunch.

After lunch we walked back over to the canal and climbed into a long, wide, wooden outboard canoe and started on the last leg of our adventure. First we floated past all the houses through the village, then we entered the river from the day before which shortly opened into a huge area which was nothing but amazing floating tomato gardens, the rows of vines clearly bobbing up and down over the water, with the farmers (settlers? colonizers?) living over the lake in stilted huts and doing all the trellising, harvesting, and other farm work from their small wooden dugout canoes.

These are the Intha people, a very small tribe who only live around Inle Lake and who make their living farming on the lake and fishing, using unique cone-shaped basket-like fishing traps, and an even more unique method of paddling using their leg to grip the oar, standing on the other leg in the back of their canoe.

Finally we entered the open water of the 13 1/2 mile long lake and sped along up the lake enjoying the sensation of effortless movement, taking in the spectacular views of the surrounding mountains, Intha fishermen, and all the other boat taxis and lake traffic out enjoying the fresh air and pleasantly warm sun on the sparkling, though very murky, lake. Arriving at the northern end of the lake in Nyaungshwe, a small fishing town with as many boat canals as roads, we bid our guide and traveling companions farewell and went our separate ways.

After the trek the three of us traveled to the capital of Shan State, Taunggyi, to attend the annual Tazaungdaing Fire Balloon Festival, where hundreds of amateur teams compete over 4 days to launch the best hot air balloons, sometimes shaped like various animals, birds, and mythological creatures, and filled to capacity with homemade fireworks. Sometimes the balloon is too heavy or poorly designed to even make it off the ground before the payload ignites, or it catches on fire soon after takeoff and plummets into the thousands of spectators. There are fatalities every year but there’s just the right twinge of danger to keep it interesting. The festival occurs close to the end of the Buddhist Lent and marks the official end of the rainy season. While a huge celebration and local phenomenon, its deeper purpose, like so many “Buddhist” traditions, is to ward off evil spirits; the giant balloons are just upsized Chinese sky lanterns.

On November 18 we had to take a night bus back to Yangon in order to make it in time to catch our plane! The only bus I could find that was able to take us was a bottom-tier 3rd class bus with absolutely no legroom and innumerable stops throughout the interminable night.

Early the next morning we flew from Yangon to Kuala Lumpur where my mom had some meetings and had invited us along, then we flew to Malaysian Borneo to go scuba diving. My mom had been a diver in college and my sister had wanted go diving ever since I myself started diving, so now they both finally had a chance! Diving was wonderful, with my mom deciding to renew her license and Lexi vowing to get hers.

From Malaysia we flew up to Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand, for a few days, and then, after meeting up with friends, drove out to Sunshine Orchard, where Lexi would be residing while interning as a paramedic at a small nearby clinic in the middle of the jungle.

After seeing all my friends at Sunshine Orchard and visiting for a few days I had to return to work, so I told my mom, sister, and SO friends goodbye. On December 4th my mom and I drove into MaeSot where my mom took a bus down to Ayutthaya to spend one more week before flying back home and I walked across the Friendship Bridge to the Myanmar border and took the night bus back to work. Lexi of course stayed behind to work at the jungle clinic.

During the last week of November and first week-and-a-half of December Nathan was back in Thailand finishing his scuba diving instructor course and upon completion received his NAUI Scuba Instructor certification!

On December 7th I took a taxi to the bus station and traveled back up to Kalaw to join my ambulance and partial crew already present to stand by at the Trail Run for the second year in a row. This event is a fun assignment for several reasons: The crisp, sunny, humidity-free days and cold, invigorating, mosquito-free nights are a pleasant change from the oppressive lowlands, the food at the antique Kalaw Heritage Hotel where the race is hosted is delicious, and it’s fun to see our friends there, especially my friend who is the doctor for the Australian Embassy in Yangon, who collaborates on projects with us from time to time.

The morning of Sunday the 9th the race began, with nearly twice as many participants as last year. We were fairly busy treating the expected maladies- blisters, twisted ankles, scraped knees, heat cramps, but there weren’t any major injuries.

After the race was over and most of the people had left we packed up our gear and drove directly to the very old city of Sagaing, in central Myanmar, where we would begin teaching an EMR course to 24 students from Sagaing Emergency Rescue Team and a few volunteers from other nearby groups the next day. This is why I hadn’t ridden to Kalaw in the ambulance, because we needed a team to go early and drop off our training materials in Sagaing on their way up to the Trail Run.

The leader of SERT, Mr. Soe Min Oo, had been our best student at our fourth ever EMR training, and he had been trying to get an EMR training for his group ever since, but there had been major scheduling issues on both sides until now.

The Sagaing EMR training ran from December 10-21 and was unusual in that it was covered by a major national television channel, so I’m happy to say that it went very smoothly and was probably the best overall EMR course I had ever taught!

I did have to go intercede on one students’ behalf though because the rescue group he works for was making him man their “dispatch center” every night even though he was the only person from that group attending our course! They were doing this to low-key punish him and try to make him fail class for trying to get training which they hadn’t endorsed and would put him at a higher-trained level than the leaders of his group. But despite this he was still coming to our class and arriving on time in the mornings! Fortunately, after all the formalities of the visit to this rival rescue group were out of the way they agreed to find someone else to fill in for him until training was over, and he ended up being one of our students who passed the class and received our internationally accredited EMR certificate!

After the EMR course, we packed up and brought all the training supplies back to Yangon to be cleaned and stowed until next time, and then spent the next week catching up on end of year paperwork, delayed CPR-AED and First Aid trainings, and continuing to respond to emergencies.

At 9 AM on Sunday, December 30th, Nathan began instructing his first scuba diving course to 4 students, with myself as an assistant. We spent the first day in the pool in Yangon, familiarizing the students with the equipment and teaching basic principles and skills like how to use the buoyancy control device (BCD) and regulator to breathe underwater and control depth. The next morning we drove out to the beach at Ngwe Saung and again spent the whole afternoon in a pool there teaching and practicing skills, although Nathan and I did manage to squeeze in a shore dive that evening!

January 1 and 2, 2019 was the open water component of the course, a fantastic way to start the New Year! As luck would have it, we happened to draw the same boat as last time, and found ourselves putzing along at a feather-star pace (one of the most graceful animals in the sea, though never known to win a race). At least we certainly couldn’t complain about the location, scenery, or company!

On our way out to sea for the 2nd day of open-water, the boat decided to needle us a little more than usual and the engine died about a quarter-mile offshore, leaving us at the mercy of the incoming tide and letting us drift dangerously close to a small, rocky island before the “engineer” could get it started again. We finished the voyage and scheduled dives without further incident and after putzing back to shore late that afternoon, washed the saltwater off us and our gear, ate supper, and then drove back to Yangon during the night.

Early the next morning on January third, just a couple hours after arriving back in Yangon from our scuba class, Nathan went to the airport and flew back to our school property in Thailand to begin preparing it for a Remote First Aid class that we were scheduled to teach that next week. The day after Nathan left I also started traveling to Kanchanaburi, taking the night bus from Yangon to Myawaddy, and crossing into Thailand the morning of the 5th. I really wanted to stop for breakfast at one of the amazing restaurants in MaeSot, but as I was hoping to catch the day bus down to our school in Kanchanaburi, I took a Songtau straight to the bus station and bought a ticket for a van that would take me over the steep, always-under-construction mountain road to Tak, an hour and a half from the border, where I could catch the bus I needed.

Arriving in Tak I rushed to the ticket counter and discovered that I had just missed the morning bus and would have to spend the day in the bus station until the night bus arrived at 11 PM (story of my life). After a day spent thinking about taking two night-busses in a row and all the other things I could be doing instead, I finally boarded my bus and arrived in Kanchanaburi mid-morning on January 6, then jumped on a local bus which took me out to the village near the school where Nathan met me in our ambulance.

The rest of that day and all the next we worked around the property getting it brush-hogged and trimmed and weeded and watered, then we cleaned out and scrubbed down the classroom we would be holding the training in.

Monday evening after work we drove into Kanchanaburi to pick up my sister Lexi at the bus station. She had been working the medical beachhead along the Thai-Burma border ever since I’d last seen her (no joke either; suturing knife wounds, treating breasts hollowed out by mastitis, sick babies, drowning victims, strange and wonderful tropical diseases...). For some reason, she had decided to have an ocular emergency of her own which had prevented her from traveling south with me when I crossed into Thailand. Now she was coming down to accompany us to a real beach and finally get her diving certification at the next scuba diving class Nathan had scheduled to teach immediately after the RFA.

From Jan 8-10 Nathan and I taught the Remote First Aid class to local rescue volunteers plus the owner and some of the employees of a Bangkok-based rock climbing company specializing in guiding climbing tours to scenic and remote locations across Thailand. They had been looking for a company to give their guides some medical training in case someone had an emergency and they were thrilled to have found us.

On Friday Nathan and I loaded up our Thai ambulance with scuba tanks and dive gear and with Lexi we drove out to the local military base where we have a quid pro quo that allows us to use their training pool for swimming and diving. Along the way we picked up Pi Top and Pi Game, two of our local friends who were also taking the scuba diving course.

At the pool, the 5 of us met 5 more prospective students sent by the local rescue diver foundation, who had given Nathan and I our first scuba diver training two years ago. Now that Nathan was a NAUI Instructor, the foundation leader was sending him the first of many foundation divers to receive real training, since all their previous training to date had been 2nd or 3rd hand at best and entirely empirical.

So, the former students taught the former teachers, and I was again assisting as with the first course to provide an adequate student-instructor ratio and just to help streamline the process. For instance, if someone panics or has trouble equalizing their ears while practicing underwater skills I’m there to help them regain control or fix their problem instead of having to pause the whole class and bring everyone else up also.

The next day we hung out at the school, picking fresh limes and making fresh limeade, and just relaxing. Early Sunday morning we reloaded the ambulance and all piled in to drive 10 hours farther south to the ocean near Krabi, Thailand for the open-water part of training. Heading out of town we parked our ambulance at Pi Top’s gas station and transferred everything into Pi Game’s vehicle, which is also an ambulance, but it’s bigger than ours and we needed all the space we could possibly get since both he and Pi Top were coming along, plus Lexi and I, and Nathan with his family.

On the 14th and 15th we rented a wooden longtail fishing boat and dove as many times as we safely could. This completed the first level of scuba diver, and our two friends went back home, but Lexi and Nathan and I stayed and got a couple more dives in on the 16th to start fulfilling the requirements for Lexi’s advanced scuba diver license, since she loved it so much.

We weren’t able to finish that course immediately though, because Nathan had some family of his own coming over to Thailand for a visit and had to leave, leaving Lexi and I to poodle around the beach on our own for a couple days. This was great fun and also gave me a chance to look around for a dive shop that might be looking for someone to intern with them.

(I had completed my divemaster training over a year before, but in order to be certified I needed to have a certain number of logged dives, and despite our best intentions, with all our other responsibilities Nathan and I hadn’t been diving as much as we’d have liked, which would have more than satisfied my pre-DM-cert dive quota. So... before our Remote First Aid class we had talked and decided that after the next scuba training I would stay behind and try to find a divemaster internship to complete my training.)

I was worried about finding an opening because Thailand was currently experiencing an unseasonably low volume of tourists due to recently changing their tourist visa requirements, but when I checked at one of the very first shops I came to, which I only knew about because this is where one of the instructors who’d helped teach Nathan and I our initial divemaster course now worked, they were delighted to have another diver help them out and offered me the ternship!

After seeing my sister off back to her clinic internship on the 19th, I started my divemaster ternship the very next day, Wednesday, January 20. This entailed learning and doing everything a divemaster does, plus helping the other divemasters and instructors with everything they needed help with, in exchange for gaining the essential experience I needed to qualify me for my DM certification.

On Sunday night, February 24th, I took a 12 hour bus ride from Krabi up to Bangkok where I immediately switched busses to take another 12 hour bus ride on up to MaeSot where I switched yet again to a Songtau and went up to visit Lexi and everyone else at Sunshine Orchard for a few days before continuing on to Yangon on March 1st. I had to make this trip back to Yangon in order to apply for a new Thai visa, and also to pack up and move my stuff out of our office/house, as there was a contemplated upgrade on the horizon. I brought my stuff back to Thailand and parked it temporarily with a friend in MaeSot. Here I again met up with Lexi, who had taken a Songtau down from Sunshine Orchard and was going to accompany me back down to the coast, because Nathan was now available to finish teaching Lexi her advanced scuba diver course.

From March 19-21 we dove off the coast of Krabi and Phuket, completing the necessary skills for Lexi to be certified at the advanced level including: light salvage, underwater navigation, night diving, shore dives, wreck dives, and Nitrox dives, plus Rescue Diver skills.

Afterwards, I went back to complete my DM internship, working there until May 24, when I started making preparations to go to Africa and work at a rural clinic in Ethiopia!

[teacherunicorn]

Opposites Attract (Chapter 72)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15  Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24  Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Chapter 61 Chapter 62 Chapter 63 Chapter 64 Chapter 65 Chapter 66 Chapter 67 Chapter 68 Chapter 69 Chapter 70 Chapter 71 Chapter 72 Chapter 73

Tag List: @the-chick-with-the-best-fandom, @does-it-matter129, @dcgoddess

It seemed Jim Gordon had had the right idea getting out early. With Strange’s creations out on the streets, Gotham itself had become the madhouse. This made Alyssa’s job about ten times harder, and given how hard it was already that was saying something. Barnes -- once he’d been discharged from the hospital -- had actually been the one to insist she take some time off about two months after the events at Arkham. He insisted that he could handle things for the two weeks she’d be gone, because he was one of the stubbornest people Alyssa knew, he was hard to say no to.

It did feel good to kick her feet up though, and Selina was all too happy to come along on what she called ‘a Luthor vacation.’

Yes, Lex had all but jumped at the opportunity to steal Alyssa for a few weeks.

He’d sent the Luthor jet over to pick them up, though Smallville was hardly a prime destination with the heatwave it was currently going through. It was a nice change to the rainy skies of Gotham however, so neither Alyssa or Selina were about to complain.

There were much more interesting things to complain about however, such as the strange woman sitting in the study when they entered it.

“You must be Alyssa and Selina!” she said, standing with a wide smile. “Oh, Lex has told me so much about the two of you.”

“Who the hell are you?” Selina frowned.

“I see you found them before I could.” Lex’s voice made the three of them turn to the doorway. “Ali, Selina. I’d like you to meet Desiree Atkins.” he introduced, putting an arm around her as he reached her. “My fiancee.”

You could practically hear the sound of the girl’s jaws dropping. After getting over her initial shock, Alyssa shook her head and gave him a stiff look.

“Uh, Alex? A word?” not waiting for an answer she yanked on his arm, pulling him from the room.

Selina and Desiree watched them go before sharing a look. Selina forced a laugh as well as a smile.

There was no way this was ending well.

******

In the kitchen, Lex rubbed at his arm as Alyssa finally released it.

“Well, congratulations, and what the hell?!” she exclaimed, her shouts punctuated with a hit to his chest.

“I know, it’s sudden, but love keeps no time.” he said, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Love?! If you were in love, the first thing you would’ve done is call me!”

“Alright, alright!” Lex laughed. “I get it, I’m sorry. I guess I just got caught up in everything.”

“How long you known this girl?”

“Not long. I met her on a LexCorp business meeting last week.”

“Last week?! Alex!”

“I told you, love keeps no time. Honestly Ali, I thought you’d be happy for me.” he frowned slightly.

“I am happy for you, I’m just....mad for me.” she huffed. “This isn’t the kind of thing I should find out just because I happened to come over. Were you even planning on inviting me to the wedding?”

“I was planning to ask you to be my best person.”

“When?”

“Right now.”

Alyssa blinked. “Really?”

Lex chuckled. “Who else would I want with me on one of the most important days of my life?”

********

Happiness for her brother be damned, Alyssa thought there was something off about this Desiree. Especially when she learned that the wedding was schedules for the next day; apparently they had only held off so long for her presence.

Alyssa knew Lex better than anyone. While he was one to act on his passions he rarely did so without a Luthor worthy plan to back him up. The fact that he was jumping headfirst into this with no safety net left a sour taste in her mouth.

Perhaps it was how attached at the hip the two were. She couldn’t indulge in the oasis Lex usually was with his fiancee hanging off his arm and taking every chance to distract him from their conversation.

If Alyssa didn’t know any better, she’d say she made Desiree nervous.

Whatever this unspoken thing was, it did nothing to delay the ceremony. Alyssa did her best to focus on enjoying her best person duties, as well as indulge in the company of the Smallville residents Lex had invited to the wedding.

“Ms. Connors!”

“Clark!” she smiled. “It’s good to see you again.”

“You too. I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Like I’d miss this?” she gestured around. “Though granted when I came here to get some time off, I did not think this was how I’d be spending it.”

“Lex caught you off guard too huh?”

“Yeah. So what do you think of the new Mrs. Luthor? I heard she was one of your teachers at school.”

“Well she only started today, so I don’t actually know her that well.” he hesitated slightly. “...Ms. Connors?”

“Yeah Clark?”

“You know Lex better than anyone. Is it me, or does something about this whole shotgun wedding thing seem weird to you?”

Alyssa sighed. “I don’t know what to tell ya. Lex has never really been one to hold back, so the wedding isn’t that surprising. The bride though...maybe it’s my overprotective sister instincts, but something doesn’t feel right about her.”

******

After all these years, Alyssa really needed to start learning to trust her gut. When she came downstairs that morning, she received further proof that Desiree was bad news.

“Oh, good morning Alyssa.” she said far too pleasantly, looking at her over the magazine she was reading. “I was just reading the most fascinating article.”

“Ooookay.” Alyssa gave her an odd look, going for the cereal cabinet.

“It’s hard to believe they let a ginger maniac like that live.”

Alyssa stilled. “Run that by me again?”

“Oh, well you’re Gotham’s mayor so I thought you already knew.” Desiree set the magazine down and slid it across the table.

There, on the front cover in glossy color print, was a picture of Jerome in his mangled state accompanied by the headline ‘Arkham Freak Walks Free.’

“What the hell?!” Alyssa exclaimed, snatching the magazine. Scanning the article, she saw information that there was no way the press could have. She certainly hadn’t told them, the only people who knew about her attempts to help Jerome were --

“It’s amazing the stories Lex tells about you, really. How you feed those street rats, how you slept with that cop killer...how your adopted son is a psychotic freakshow....”

“You did this?!”

“I wanted to prove a point.” Desiree said simply. “You may be the person Lex trust the most, but it goes both ways. And I’ve got that man wrapped around my pinkie.” she smirked. “So unless you want the rest of the things you’ve told him to be in print, I suggest you and your little gutter trash kid pack your things, and get out of our lives.”

Alyssa gave her a look of pure shock and horror. That quickly turned to fury however, and she stormed out of the kitchen to find Lex.

“Alex!” she burst into his study. “We need to talk!”

“Woah, where’s the fire?”

“Did you know about this?!” Alyssa threw the magazine onto his desk. “Did you know your wife was the one that sent that story to the press?!”

Lex looked over the article. “Ali, I’m sorry this happened, but Desiree isn’t responsible.”

“She just told me she was! Even better, she told me you told her!”

“I have no secrets from my wife.”

“They’re not your secrets!” Alyssa exclaimed. “Alex the main part of our relationship is the fact that we can tell each other anything and know that it stays between us!”

“You’re asking me to lie to Desiree?”

“I’m asking you to be the man you were up until yesterday! I’ve been having a hard enough time trying to get Jerome the help he needs, the last thing I need is his face plastered on the the cover of a magazine with the word ‘freak’ under it!”

“Well you can’t stop the press from printing the truth!”

“...What is that supposed to mean?” Alyssa said, her voice suddenly going very small.

“Jerome had his issues long before Strange got a hold of him. Now after what happened; the extreme lack of progress you’ve been telling me about? Maybe it’s time to stop fighting for a lost cause!”

“How can you say that?” her voice cracked. “Jerome’s your friend, he’s practically your nephew!”

“Another line in the Luthor legacy. How poetic.”

Alyssa shook her head. “This isn’t you. Desiree did something to you, Alex snap out of it!”

“Desiree didn’t do anything!” Lex snapped. “And I’ll thank you not to talk that way about my wife.” he turned his back to her, moving to the drink cart and pouring himself a scotch. “Alyssa, I think it’s time you and Selina head back to your own house. My Mrs. and I need our space, you understand.”

It shouldn’t have hurt that much. It was just her name. But it was the first time Lex had said it in years. He never called her Alyssa, it was always Ali.

Alyssa stared at him, shell-shocked. She attempted to speak but all that came out was a broken sob. She turned on her heel and ran out of the office crying.

******

Selina had never actually been in the house Alyssa owned in Smallville. Entering it now felt like she was intruding -- and since she usually had no issue doing so that was saying something.

Everything about the house from the photos lining the walls to the mugs in the kitchen cabinets that said things like ‘go crows!’ or ‘#1 track mom’ were echoes of a different life. A life her family had had before her. Sure, she knew the stories back to front, but it was weird actually seeing it.

She ran her fingers over a framed image of Jerome and a boy named Whitney Fordman in their letterman jackets. The way she heard it, this Whitney guy had joined the army and had recently shipped out after finishing basic training. Apparently warfare wasn’t treating him well, but at least he was better off than the photo’s other occupant.

Alyssa had tracked down the best of the best to try and help Jerome, keyword being try. Whatever Strange had done to him had fractured his psyche. It was like trying to put together a puzzle with a million pieces and no edges. He could remember tiny things, the warmth of a hug, the sticky feeling of cotton candy around his mouth; it was putting those things together into concrete moments and images that was the problem.

So far the only solid memories Jerome had managed to produce were bad ones, Lyla hitting him, the cops pulling him from Alyssa’s arms. It did nothing to help his frazzled state of mind; to say that this memory issue was taking a toll on him would be a gross understatement.

Between this and her usual duties, not to mention Strange’s creations roaming the streets, Selina was all too aware her mother was running herself ragged. That was why she’d been so eager to jump on the idea of a vacation, and Lex had always had a soothing effect on Alyssa.

Up until recently.

Selina watched her mother pace the living room with a concerned expression. She had thrown their bags at the floor by the doorway, making no move to take them upstairs, and was now currently muttering to herself about Desiree. Despite the hurtful blows Lex had thrown, Alyssa still loved him and was determined to save him.

Besides, giving up now would mean letting that bitch win.

“Mom!” Selina stood and caught her arms, interrupting her pacing. “Breathe.”

“Alex would never do something like this kitten.” she sighed. “I’m really worried.”

“I know, but you’re not gonna do ‘im any good like this.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” she said firmly. “You’ve been running on fumes, and you can’t run forever. We came here for you to relax, and Luthor breakdown or not, that’s what’s gonna happen.”

“Selina --”

“Sit!” she pointed to the couch. Alyssa gave her daughter a look, but sat. “Good, now I’m gonna get you a drink, and you’re gonna stay here while I deal with chrome dome.”

Alyssa sighed. “Kitten, I --”

“I can handle this mom.” Selina cut her off. “I know it’s hard for you to pass the reins, but I think I’ve had a pretty good mentor for this kinda thing.”

She smiled slightly. “I love you kitten, you know that right?”

“Always. And I love you too.”

******

As this was not her usual playing field, the first thing Selina needed to do was find a local she could get to help her with operation ‘Mrs. Luthor.’

Martha Kent frowned at the girl other other side of her door when she opened it. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe I know you.”

“Name’s Cat. I’m lookin’ for Clark.”

“Well he’s out in the barn. How do you know my son?”

“Don’t.” Selina said simply, turning on her heel and jogging towards the barn. She found her target up in the loft. “Yo farm boy!”

Clark looked down and frowned at her. “....You’re Ms. Connor’s kid. Selina right?”

“Cat.” she corrected, walking up the staircase. “You and me need to talk.”

“Do we? About what?”

“Lex Luthor. More specifically, his new wife.” she informed. “I know you think somethings up with her, and I need a local to help me dig up some dirt.”

“Okay...” he trailed off. “To be honest, I was expecting your mom to come looking for me about this.”

“Mom’s on vacation, and that vacation will not be pushed aside just because Lex decided too loose his marbles.” she folded her arms and leaned against the railing. “So? Where’s our first stop?”

******

When you wanted something found out in Smallville, or anywhere really, you went to Chloe Sullivan. The ace reporter had multiple tricks up her sleeve, and her curiosity often lead her to details that she couldn’t publish without ending up in prison for hacking.

Another person Selina had heard stories about. Chloe was the closest to a girlfriend Jerome had ever come, though a relationship had never been made official between the two of them.

Still, she could see what her brother saw in the girl.

“Oh, so the new Mrs. Luthor has an alias, that’s interesting.” Chloe remarked, scrolling through the document she had dug up. Apparently ‘Desiree Atkins’ was actually Alison Sanders, and had grown up in Smallville.

“What would you tow say if I told you that Ms. Atkins, a.k.a Alison Sanders....showed up at my loft last night and...tried to seduce me?”

“I’d say you’re living the voyeuristic fantasy of every male student in this school.” Chloe said simply. “Clark, she just married Lex.”

“Yeah, and within a few days made his personality do a total 180.” Selina remarked. “Somethin’s wonky about this chick, and I wanna get to the bottom of that wonk.”

“Look, she was dissing Lex. Saying he was the only thing standing between her being with me.” Clark informed.

“Okay, you know this is quickly going from merely nauseating to genuinely disturbing.”

“Sounds kinda -- oh.” Selina cut herself off. “Oh no...”

“What is it?” Clark asked.

“Lex is in serious trouble. We need to go.”

******

The ‘serious trouble’ was not as immediate as Selina made it sound. Lex was just breaking a round of pool balls as they came in.

“Clark, I’ve been expecting you.” he said, then noticed who he was with. “Though I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Lex, you gotta listen to me.” she said urgently. “I don’t what’s goin’ on in your head but this Desiree chick is bad news.”

Lex sighed and shook his head. “Look, I get that you and Alyssa haven’t quite warmed up to her --”

“She’s trying to kill you!” she cut him off. “I know that kinda scam Lex! It’s one of the oldest one’s in the book!”

“Lex, you need to see this.” Clark pulled out the article Chloe had printed for him. “Your wife’s real name is Alison Sanders. She grew up in Smallville. I bet she didn’t tell you that, did she?”

“...No.”

“Well if she lied about this then how can you trust anything she --”

“Because she’s my wife and I love her.” Lex cut him off.

“You love Alyssa.” Selina corrected. “Me, her, Jerome; we’re your family. Exactly what kind of wife makes you drive your family away?”

“Selina, I know Desiree --”

“You met and married her within a week!” she shouted. “How well could you know her?!”

“....You can see yourselves out.” Lex said after a long pause.

“Fine.” Selina snapped. “Get your head chopped off for your money. See if I care.”

******

Chloe had continued to dig into Alison Sanders and hit a major landmine that all but confirmed Selina’s theory.

She didn’t want to tell her mother, but Alyssa had been calling her cell phone all day. Selina couldn’t say she was surprise; it was in the woman’s nature to want to protect and shield the ones she loved, but she needed to let them shield her from time to time.

“So apparently the new Mrs. Luthor is a meteor freak.” she informed, throwing the newspaper down on the coffee table. “According to Chloe, she was with her boyfriend when the meteors hit. Based on what she was doing with him, I’d say that’s the connection to her influence on men. She’s been hitting the trend for a while now, Lex is just the newest target.”

“We need to get over there.” Alyssa said quickly.

“Do we have a plan?”

“Yeah; teach that bitch what happens when you mess with the wrong family.”

******

“....We need to talk.” Lex said to Desiree that evening.

“Is something wrong?”

“I'm not sure. I know love is supposed to be blind, but...” he studied a picture of himself, Alyssa, and Jerome at his mother’s lake house. “Since meeting you I feel like I’ve lost all sense of reason regarding my friends, my business, and suddenly I don’t know why.”

“Well it’s too late for second thoughts Lex.” she informed. “The papers have been finalized. Everything you have is mine.”

“You only inherit in the event of my death.” there was a tense pause where Selina’s words drifted through his mind. “Were you planning to kill me?”

“No.” she said, giving him a look. Walking over the the door on the side of the room, she opened it to reveal an enchanted Johnathan Kent with a gun. “He is.”

The gun was cocked and pointed directly at Lex, making him tense. “I know you Mr. Kent.” he said, holding up his hands. “You’re not a murderer, please...put the gun down.”

A shot fired, hitting the phone Lex was attempting to reach for to call for help. “I’m not lettin’ you add Desiree’s name to your list of victims.”

“She’s using you Mr. Kent! Whatever she told you, it’s not true.”

The gun was cocked again just as the two doors in the room burst open, Alyssa and Selina entering through one and Clark entering through the other.

“Dad don’t!” Clark shouted just as the gun went off.

“Alex!” Alyssa shouted. Lex jumped out of the way of the bullet, but there didn’t seem to be a need to as it disappeared in thin air. Alyssa wasn’t sure what had happened, but she was certain the bullet didn’t land.

Mr. Kent was quick to round the desk however, cocking the gun again. “Dad you can’t do this!” Clark shouted, grabbing at his father’s shoulder and accidentally knocking him against the wall. He cried out from the hit to his head, but slumped down, no longer an immediate threat.

Desiree still was however. She smashed a bottle of scotch on Lex’s back as he came near her, setting it alight.

“No!” Alyssa shouted, making a quick run for the tarp that went over the pool table while Selina ran after Desiree. She was quick to take the woman down and make sure she wasn’t going anywhere while Alyssa smothered out the flames on her friend’s back.

With every danger in the room dealt with, the occupants all took a panted breath, half of relief, half of leftover adrenaline. Lex grabbed Alyssa’s arm to steady himself, making her look down at him.

There was no need for words then.

******

The days following were oddly quiet, compared to the rest of the trip. Lex had almost constant meetings with his team of lawyers, but always made sure to be home for dinner with Alyssa and Selina, who had been invited back to his house.

There was a lingering tension between the two however; despite Desiree being gone the calm feeling that came to both Alyssa and Lex when in each other’s presence still wasn’t there. Lex confronted her about it a few days after the incident.

“Ali, I know I haven’t actually gotten around to saying this out loud, but I’m sorry. For everything.”

“I know you are, Alex.” Alyssa said, relaxing on the sofa in his study. “You were under Desiree’s weird mind control; I don’t blame you.”

“That doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“Yes it does.”

“Then why do I get the feeling you’re still upset with me?”

“I’m not upset with you I just....” she sighed and shook her head. “You scared me, Alex. Not only did you almost die, you kicked me out. Hell, you called me Alyssa, which honestly hurt more than I thought it would.”

“That’s why I’m apologizing.”

“You don’t have to apologize!” Alyssa exclaimed. “Its got nothing to do with you, okay? Its all me!”

“What do you mean?” he frowned.

“Alex other than Selina, you’re the one person I’ve always been able to count on. I’ve never once had to worry about you, turning on me, or going nuts. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t got much of that left. I can’t loose you.” she shook her head. “I won’t survive.”

Lex was silent a moment before throwing his arms around her. The embrace was quickly returned, and the two held onto each other as what they were; a lifeline. A single, solid reassurance in a world going insane.

When they pulled away, Lex chuckled to himself. “You’re making it hard to give you this.” he pulled a document out of his pocket and handed it to her.

Alyssa took it and frowned. “...This is your last will and testament.”

“I had to get it revised after Desiree put everything in her name. Alyssa Jane Connors is now the name down to inherit both my company, and all my worldly possessions in the event of my death.”

“Me?”

“Well you’re the only person I’d trust with my legacy.” he informed. “Ali, I have no illusions. As much as I wish it weren’t true, you and I are both mortal. I may not have left much of a mark on the world, but I wanna make sure the right person is taking care of it. I already trust you with my life, I may as well trust you with everything else.”

Alyssa smiled, albeit a little sadly. “Thank you Alex. That means the world to me.”

[biofunmy]

Drake Is The Annoying Raptors Fan We Need

Vaughn Ridley / Getty Images

Drake reacts during Game 1 of the 2019 NBA Finals between the Golden State Warriors and the Toronto Raptors at Scotiabank Arena on May 30 in Toronto.

Living in Toronto is a bit like being the world’s most famous euchre player. It’s, like, good for you, but ultimately no one cares, because no one cares about euchre. When you live in Toronto and travel somewhere new, you often have to tolerate a few condescending signs that the person you’re speaking with has never really thought about your city before. “Toronto,” they say, pronouncing all the T’s instead of none of them at all, the way the Lord intended. “In Canada!” they follow up, as if the whole country is just a small town and there are no provinces or territories to speak of. Then they talk about their friend in Vancouver, which is a four and a half hour flight away from Toronto.

I lived in Toronto for a decade, up until very recently, and I can confirm that Toronto is indeed the centre (that’s how you spell it here, I’m not going to argue with you on this, you’re in my house now) of the Canadian universe, but, you know, it’s still just the Canadian universe: slightly colder, the money is all purple, everyone is remarkably passive-aggressive.

So you should forgive Toronto, and, frankly, most of the country, for getting this giddy about the Toronto Raptors advancing to the NBA Finals. In the team’s 24 years of existence, it’s never made it this far, and as the country’s only NBA team, the Raptors have made more adults burst into tears in the last few weeks than I have seen at any funeral I’ve been to in my entire life.

And do you know whom we have to thank for this? For us getting this far, regardless of what happens in the next few games against the Golden State Warriors (a seemingly unbeatable team that will probably destroy us but who cares, it’s about the journey, not the destination)? Drake. We have to thank Drake. We have to, even if we don’t want to.

I can’t deny that Drake has been doing The Absolute Most for nearly a full year of Raptors games. He’s yelling at other players, mocking them with his garment choices, giving the Raptors’ head coach a shoulder massage after making it to the finals, making the Bucks’ coach’s daughter his Instagram avatar, and generally needing to be restrained from running onto the court or starting a dogpile with the rest of the players. He’s our collective embarrassing little brother with too much energy, and our mom isn’t keeping him in line, and he’s really humiliating us in front of all the older kids at school. We know. We know.

He’s our collective embarrassing little brother with too much energy.

There’s been a lot of moaning over Drake’s courtside antics. “It is perhaps the only thing we can all agree upon as a nation, if not an entire species existing within an interconnected biosphere,” wrote Lindsay Zoladz for the Ringer, whom I regret to say clearly didn’t consult anyone north of Detroit. “Drake needs to cool it when sitting courtside at basketball games.” The NBA gave him a talking to during the Eastern Conference finals, which isn’t the first time officials had to warn him about lipping off. The Washington Post told us to “ignore Drake for the rest of what could be a memorable series between the Raptors and Warriors.” A Bay area radio station is refusing to play Drake’s music during the final series. Last year, the Toronto Sun told Drake to “sit down, shut up, stop posing for the cameras, and acting like you’re part of the show.”

Smash Mouth is, for some reason, also upset.

Drake has a kind of unprecedented role with the Raptors. Of course it’s kind of perplexing how often the camera swerves to him, how often he jumps out of his seat, how frequently his clothing is newsworthy. He often, literally, toes the line on the court. What is he exactly? Court jester? Mascot? Part owner? Purposeful distraction to whip the other team up? Who cares. Just let us have him. You get enough. Just give us this one thing. Toronto sports teams, Canada as a whole on a global scale, culturally — we don’t get a lot despite our plentiful but largely ignored contributions. We gave you Schitt’s Creek and you haven’t shut up about it since. Just let us have this.

Look, I’m not going to pretend to be anything other than a bandwagoner here. Sports, for the most part, are dumb and boring, and heterosexual cisgender men like to pretend these games are somehow more intellectual than me watching Lisa Vanderpump and Adrienne Maloof fight at a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion even though nothing requires more skill and agility than having a conversation with Lisa “Bobby Fischer” Vanderpump. Basketball is somewhat of an exception, in that it is at least not football, which is never interesting, no matter how high the stakes. (I say this as the wife of an insufferable Patriots fan, whom I consider divorcing every fall, like clockwork. He kissed me harder when they won their fifth ring than he did on our wedding day. Don’t think I didn’t notice, Scott.)

But the real bandwagon I’m jumping on isn’t so much supporting the Raptors now that they’re actually playing well and are no longer more famous for having a logo that looks like a Flintstones Dino vitamin brought to life. (By the way, looking up the correct spelling of “Flintstones” resulted in my evisceration on Twitter, so the least you can do for me is root for the Raptors for the remainder of the series.) I’m jumping on the bandwagon that argues that, actually, Canada is great. We’re great and we deserve this because we’re great.

Very rarely, if ever, do I engage in any kind of national pride. Canada is an inherently flawed country that gets trotted out as the US’s better, kinder, softer little sister, despite the fact that Canada is still pretty racist, sexist, classist, and genocidal, if only more quiet about it. But now and then, I climb on the patriotism bandwagon. I grab a seat when any Canadian team is playing against any American team. I’m there when someone in the current American city I live in tries to tell me that universal health care is somehow worse than going into debt for basic lab tests. I’m onboard when someone says “Choate,” as if I’m supposed to know or care where or what that is and why it matters, which it doesn’t; your high school absolutely does not matter. Do I get on the bandwagon only when convenient to me? Absolutely. It is my right as a brown Canadian. What are you, a cop? Go Raptors.

We gave you Drake, a perfect encapsulation of what being Canadian often means: fortunate, but somehow kind of a scrappy underdog. Canadians are supposed to be polite and calm, so no wonder a lot of the pushback for Drake’s behavior comes from Americans who are accustomed to owning the lion’s share of obnoxious public conduct. Is he doing anything worse than what the average American fan does during any kind of sporting event? Is a dancing, gleeful Drake worse than the part owner of the Warriors who pushed Kyle Lowry during Game 3? Is he any more distracting than fucking Gritty?

Canada has given you everything. We gave you Celine Dion and Saturday Night Live and a good ally in, like, a ton of wars. And what do we get in return? Worse Netflix, no Hulu, geoblocked YouTube videos, and incessant mocking over the fact that we use Celsius, an objectively better method of explaining the weather. Saying “It’s 51 degrees” means nothing!!!! Is that hot?? Is it halfway to hot???? I hate this and I hate you!!!

Is he doing anything worse than what the average American fan does during any kind of sporting event?

Don’t you think we know Drake is annoying? Of course he is! But America is full of annoying people. For decades, we have had to deal with your offensive radio hosts, your poorly understood scandals, your terrible politicians (we have our own, thank you), Diplo, Burning Man, and all of Los Angeles. We have accepted the burden of being on the same continent as you, a culture succubus. Toronto doesn’t get a lot of stuff. The city bears the brunt of being a representative of Canada (ridiculous in its own right — go to Fort McMurray and tell me that Toronto reflects the entirety of a nearly 10-million-square-kilometer country — I am not converting that to miles, you get enough, you overprivileged brats). The very least you can do in return is tolerate one of our most annoying exports. Love him like your own. Watch him dance. Look at his stupid smug face. We won the War of 1812, according to an exhausting campaign the government forced us all to witness in 2012, and practically nothing since; now, you have to watch Drake act like the boy in your ninth-grade class in Brampton who was, for some reason, always wearing basketball shorts in the dead of winter. Who knows if we’re going to win this series? At least we can finally win the culture war.

But listen, as soon as Drake actually does a collaboration with Chris Brown, you can have him in full. There’s only so much I, proud Canadian or not, can stand for. ●

Sahred From Source link Sports

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