#current carp

[musicalislife]

I can’t with their instagram stories💚. I love their friendship.

(Instagram stories 2023.May.28.)

[haventacluewhatimdoing]

I think we as a fandom overlook when Julian momentarily considers you know what with Kitty.

[defensivelee]

some scene/dialogue ideas for the hypothetical NSO-esque Louis dating sim in which you play as a mistress of him (sorry no male MC). I think the point of it would be to try to ASSERT YOUR INFLUENCE on him until you basically run the country yourself, which he makes extremely difficult for you to do. idk why I'm thinking of it so much 😭

---------

Louis: Do you think this looks good on me?

He'll probably be asking this a lot when he tries something on. You basically get to dress him since he'll usually listen to your opinions as you are very important to him.

Upon saying it looks awful but he secretly disagrees:

Louis: Well...just a little, I suppose.

Upon saying it looks awful and he agrees:

Louis: Who thought of this?

Upon saying it looks good:

Louis: Not much of an observation, love, you know everything looks good on me.

---------

Louis: I have a question. Do you love me? Really really really love me?

He'll ask this every night, just in a different form. Usually you would have three choices, all of which say the same thing: "Yes, I love you." I doubt it's because he's insecure, he just wants to hear you say it.

After a bad day in which you didn't really make him happy, though, he'll say:

Louis: I thought you loved me. You told me yesterday. Do you really really really love me?

He usually stares at you with a smile, sitting pleasantly on his bed, but at this point the music stops briefly and he sort of glowers at you. You have three choices again, and only one is different:

Player: No, you know why I stayed with you at all.

Louis will look down and smile, and the music will start up again.

Louis: Ahaha....you are not wrong.

If you say you love him, he looks vaguely suspicious but accepts it anyway.

---------

To increase the Trust & Love bar (probably the least important for your status, but necessary nonetheless if you want him to keep you around) you would have to give him a gift. I think you should be able to give him a little carp because it would be funny and he likes them.

Louis: You got me another fish? See, this is why I love you. You give me stuff.

Louis: She is so beautiful...can you name her for me?

Whatever the name is that you choose, he'll find it very endearing. Unless you attempt to call it Louis, in which case he'll feign offense but actually be laughing a little.

---------

You can make it your goal for him to just have awful days constantly so that his Happiness & Certainty will go down. Eventually he will start getting really personal at night instead of having sex, and he'll tell you things you may not have known about him. This makes him easier to manipulate/blackmail later on.

Louis: I will never understand Philippe. A boy kissed me once.

Louis: *his eyes now widening* I wanted to kill myself.

Louis: He said he was going to kill me if I told anyone--

Things like that.

[overdressedcarp]

Me when my grad school job assigns me generic LinkedIn customer service training videos: sir please I have auditory processing disorder. video tutorials are the sensory equivalent of shoving shards of glass into my brain. why are you making me do this

Me when LinkedIn AI pops up in a sidebar offering to tl;dr the key takeaways of a literal three-minute video: how fucking dare you. get out of my sight. I'm going to process the audio of this milquetoast businessman lecturing about soft skills so well just to spite you

[nikkiissleepy]

oh wow had my outfit stolen on starry corridor for the first time

[libraryspectre]

I really want to continue on with the witches series but I am Foiled by Libby once again

[darksouls2yuri]

ive been playing magikarp jump while i wait for my wife to get off work and look at my swag ass carpetto♀️

[immortalarizona]

my therapist: what if you explored your relationship with your faith by Reading The Bible

me: haha what if I worked on my d&d setting instead and used the creation of the pantheon and the religions that follow them to deconstruct my issues with the flaws I see in my own religion and its members while also try to parse out what's important to me about my faith that makes me want to stay despite the imperfections in my church

[fatemain]

CARPE DIEM (life)

Seize the day —Horace.

"The only reason we hold back is that we think we have an endless amount of chances or that there will always be one more. But as time disappears into the past and life goes on, those chances will run out. You will either live with eternal happiness for being brave or eternal regret for holding back."

The Daily Telegraph reports

Circa 2022 The Republic of Serong

TOP STORIES—

SERONG 'Hazardous' driving conditions after Serong sees the coldest day in 12 years.

Schools remain open despite cold snap and orange status.

 We issue three categories of weather warnings, yellow, orange and red.

SERONG Number of reported crimes in Serong falls to post war-low.

Yet cases of bank transfer or phone scams surged by 13.1%.

SERONG Taxi cab in collision with Light Rail this weekend in South Gorey.

No fatal injuries for the Taxi driver but raised questions about the Light Rail security.

SERONG Seir Lingus Airlines announces three new Asia Pacific and two European summer destinations.

Kyushu (Japan) - Jeju Island (S. Korea) - Phuket (Thailand)

Andalucía (Spain) - Provence (France)

SERONG Mixed messages: What Gorey Court's same-sex marriage ruling really means.

Earlier this week, the Gorey District Court handed down a mixed ruling, saying that banning same-sex marriage represents an “unconstitutional state” but is still in line with the Constitution.

Does that mean it is constitutional, or not? In short, it’s constitutional, but not legal.

OOC— Notes

Carpe Diem Life is what we would call the present time. It is the last known reincarnation of each soul.

Carpe Diem Life is set in realistic, current times, in the Republic of Serong. The country is at peace when this post goes live.

Threads during this period of time must be tagged accordingly, including the name CARPE DIEM. (Ex, "carpe diem; thread 001" or any tag you would find more suitable for your tag system.) This is to not get threads mixed or lost when another past life comes into play.

Souls can have déjà vus (a feeling of having already experienced the present situation) of past lives. They can also have reminiscences of people they have not previously known in this life. Or no recollection at all.

To completely remember past lives characters might have had psychological sessions of hypnosis, or give any kind of realistic reason on why they do, but for the most part, they can have the déjà vu moments or dreams.

[musicalislife]

I love their friendship and their social media interactions 💚

[petitexmagician]

Disappointment in myself is real how I got through finishing up finding those spirit carps but the damn dendro cores are a pain

[inkyminx]

~ 𝓗𝓸𝔀𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 ~

Happy New Year everyone! Welcome The Three New Souls ~

[1ucifersdaughter]

not me out here actually getting shit done. i'm almost done with my photo assignment!! i just need to take one more picture and edit it. once i'm done with that i can start my paper!!! then i can finish my book!!!!

[curarems]

.

[feyburner]

This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.

EDIT: This has been posted on AO3.

[Unknown] »

Hey. This is Jason. 

I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

« tim

uh

1. i’m aware of how favors work  

2. what is it?

« tim

?

« tim

hey are you like. good

J »

Yeah fine 

Sry. Rethinking this maybe

« tim

what, do you need a kidney or something?

i can’t give you a kidney.

i don’t have any organs to spare.

J »

What ? 

« tim

what’s the favor?

J »

I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important

I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 

or Kori but shes off world

I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight

« tim

yeah jason i get it lol

J »

So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht

« tim

what >?

J »

We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 

« tim

are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there

J »

So I dont think I can get back t

No its on purpose

« tim

hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  

jason this storm is really bad.

it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina

J »

I dont think I can get back totown toni

Christ you type fast 

Shut up for a sec. Clam down

Clam*

*Calm fuck me

Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.

Can you feed my sourdough starter 

« tim

what

J »

4511 overhill apt 6D 

Key under the neighbors mat. 6H

« tim

hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean

J »

Starter is on counter. in glass jar 

Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 

« tim

on???

J »

On wwhen I get back?

« tim

so you do plan on coming back

J »

Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom

« tim

yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 

J »

Did you

jst say Vader

As in Darth

« tim

??? 

J »

Oh my god

« tim

jason are you in peril or what.

J »

No im not in “peril” lol.

Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter

It needs to be fed

« tim

wtf is a sourdough starter

nvm i googled it

J »

Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 

Oh ok

Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour

Theres a scale next to the jar

Stir until it looks like hummus

Put lid back on

The end

« tim

the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings

J »

Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule

« tim

your bread schedule 

J »

Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else

« tim

im already en route. 

J »

Oh

Ok

Thank you.

Wtf dont text and motorbike  

« tim

how about you dont text and Sinking Boat

J »

Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash

« tim

i was stopped at a red light 😐

anwyay i’m at your place.

1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 

2. how warm is lukewarm

J »

1. I’m the security system

« tim

just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt

J »

God youre annoying

2. ? Its lukewarm

« tim

ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 

J »

Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in

Can you fucking

I TYPE SLOW.

« tim

ok.

[Image Attached]

he is fed

J »

Thanks man.

Sincerely.

« tim

so hows the cargo hold going

still intact i assume? 

J »

Mostly ya

« tim

pardon? 

J »

Slight leakage. Nothing major

« tim

oh? are you a boatologist now? 

i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?

J »

Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.

Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar

Hm.

« tim

did an alarm just start going off

J »

Dont worry about it

« tim

im not. 

did it though

also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase

blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one

« tim

jason?

« tim

if this is a joke it’s not funny

oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.

hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi

« tim

ugh.

*

J »

Hey

Thanks again for the

I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.

But thanks for the backup.

Lmk when youre home

Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.

Night.

« tim

home

J »

Also I just saw your messaages from

Ah. 👍

From earlier. 

« tim

you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 

J »

Those were not my exact words.

« tim

right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 

J »

Shut up

I just wanted to 

You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it

The only one in the family I mean

your family, I mean

The bats.

« tim

? 

the only one who jokes about what

J »

Me being dead

« tim

oh. 

ok. well

its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess

J »

No thats not 

Tim. Shut up.

I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 

Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.

One of many

If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face

the :~{ face

« tim

wow its uncanny

uh. for the record. 

i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it

if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 

 

J »

Yeah well

I just

Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.

Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 

Goodnight.

« tim

oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 

and failed btw :/ 

J »

Tim

Not to be so unchill

But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you

« tim

…got it. sorry

J »

No. don’t apologize to me

Ever

I’m serious 

« tim

like for anything? 

what if i killed breadie mercury 

J »

You didnt. He is thriving

« tim

he is?

wait. really?

you can tell?

J »

[Image Attached]

Hes doubled in size since you fed him.

« tim

whoa

J »

Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.

*that too

Its stupid but hes kinda my son.

« tim

wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons

J »

He is my 10 billion sons.

« tim

lolol

wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 

J »

Right

« tim

jeez

i was so worried about the water temp

google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe

J »

You used a thermometer? 

« tim

your instructions were vague!

i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!

J »

Thanks Tim.

« tim

? you already said that lol

i gotta pass out btw

glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht

that would have been so cringe

night jason

J »

Night

*

J »

You up?

« tim

obviously

why

J »

Could use your eyes on something.

[Image Attached]

« tim

morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD

J »

Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 

Ok jesus christ . 

30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me

Can I hire you? Jesus lol

« tim

that depends. do you pay more than batman?

J »

The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?

« tim

no.

J »

Then yes. I do pay more than batman.

« tim

how much more

J »

One coffee per codebreak? 

« tim

:\

J »

Two coffees per codebreak

Two and a loaf of sourdough

« tim

sourdough from breadie mercury?

J »

Ya

« tim

done

J »

Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards

« tim

i mean i was already gonna do it for free

now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 

im on a roll. nothing but Ws 

J »

Ws?

« tim

its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️

J »

I am barely 3 years older htan you.

It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.

« tim

and yet you text like an old, old man

J »

I do not

Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”

« tim

ROFLCOPTER?

oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god

that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god

J »

Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing

« tim

? 

oh, is it star trek? 

J »

I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose

But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings

« tim

no i have not.

J »

Hm.

« tim

what

J »

Nothing.

« tim

……….what

*

« tim

did you NARC on me

to BRUCE

about LORD OF THE RINGS?????

J »

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

« tim

WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 

WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?

WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 

J »

I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.

That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.

« tim

its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE

about GOBLINS

J »

I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.

« tim

if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 

im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 

J »

What the fuck

How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 

Not that ithahpened 

What hefuckk ??

« tim

ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!

J »

Why are you?? evil??

« tim

you should have killed me when you had the chance!!

sorry.

J »

Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.

Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part

Brb

« tim

uh

« tim

ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 

« tim

sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia

« tim

ugh.

*

« tim

you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time

luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.

J »

Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?

« tim

oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 

J »

Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 

« tim

yeah? 

J »

…

Yeah….

« tim

so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 

J »

:-|

« tim

im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker

just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.

think of all the time and energy you’d save me

J »

I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.

« tim

i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app

i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 

J »

Uh

What

« tim

how hot *red hood is. to clarify

in their opinion

the people’s opinion

J »

?

« tim

the people of gotham city

J »

The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol

« tim

wait 

i cant tell if you’re being serious

J »

Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf

Why would they think hes hot 

They dont think Batman is hot 

« tim

o…kay…

huh.

how to… hmm

J »

Like nightwing sure

And the girls. Bc of objectification of women

« tim

oh wow

J »

Red Robin. If i had to guess

But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol

« tim

what kind of response, exactly

J »

You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 

« tim

oh, wow. 

okay. ummm

hmm. one sec.

J »

?

« tim

check your email 

J »

Ok…? 

J »

Oh my fucking god.

« tim

yeah

J »

Oh my god?

« tim

yeah

J »

This document is fucking 45 pages long?

« tim

its everything from the past 30 days yeah

J »

The past

Whaht the fuck

Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.

This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 

« tim

oof are you on page 14

J »

Im on page 3???

« tim

oh my god

J »

What the fuck

Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too

Tim

« tim

its not like this for batman :)

J »

Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.

« tim

its worse :)

J »

Oh what the fuck

Oh my fucking god page 14.

You get this shit TEXTED to you?????

Ohm ygod. You read this?????

« tim

i mean

no

i glance at it

for security purposes.

i dont like, read it read it

anyway did you seriously not know? haha

J »

No??? Again its not like people tell me

« tim

yeah but

like

theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here

yknow

sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 

« tim

sorry

that was in fact awkward!

nvm

just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not

i was mostly joking about the hacking

J (From Work) »

No you weren’t.

« tim

no i wasnt

i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser

anyway im going dark for patrol, later

*

J (From Work) »

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 

« tim

oh my god

you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right

J (From Work) »

Figured it was only fair

[Screenshot Attached]

This persons got some mad zoom lens skills

I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you

« tim

wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass

…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 

do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph

J (From Work) »

goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3

Haha

I kinda thought you and blondie broke up

back on again?

« tim

no lol we are very much just friends

she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going

anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 

its a whole genre

they’re like trading cards

J (From Work) »

Guess everyone’s got a hobby?

« tim

the only rule is no nightwing

J (From Work) »

Do I want to know why

« tim

he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots

so its too easy

you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 

← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 

anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.

J (From Work) »

A vote between you and Steph? 

You lost a 50/50 vote?

« tim

i dont wanna talk about it.

J (From Work) »

Right. 

So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.

« tim

no

J (From Work) »

No?

« tim

well

J (From Work) »

Yeah?

« tim

we don’t like, save them

that would be weird

we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 

and keep an ongoing points tally

thats all

so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you

J (From Work) »

How many points is my ass worth

« tim

i hate everything about this conversation

J (From Work) »

Its 100% your own fault, answer the question

« tim

if you must know. 

points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.

J (From Work) »

Uh huh. Like what

« tim

technical excellence

composition. lighting and color balance. 

dynamism 

J (From Work) »

Dynamism…

« tim

creativity

umm

emotional impact

and 

subject matter

J (From Work) »

I see.

« tim

ok i know it sounds bad

J (From Work) »

It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 

« tim

but if you think abou

oh

okay, well, great

J (From Work) »

I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 

Or is that cheating

« tim

its totally cheating

please do

J (From Work) »

You got it red. 👍

« tim

:)

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Second part of the comic! You can read part one here. I hope y'all enjoy this little drabble of Gaz being a fish dad.

Btw, some notes, Gaz upgraded the tank to a 100 gallon with a hang on back filter and an air pump powered sponge filter. He also put in some Christmas moss to provide some live plants and has a sand bottom substrate. Gaz only upgraded to the big tank a month after setting up the rescue tank and used the filter media from the first tank to be able to jump-start the cycling process on the second tank, because he's a responsible fish dad.

While I'm at it! A few fish facts:

Every fish (including goldfish and betta fish) need a filter

A betta fish also need a heater, but goldfish is a cold water fish so that means it's fine at room temperature or cooler (think koi ponds)

A betta fish needs a 5g tank minimum, but goldfish get way bigger than betta fish. A single goldfish needs a minimum of twenty gallons, and each additional goldfish needs an additional 10 gallons of space

Speaking of how much space goldfish need, they need a lot because they can easily grow to be a foot long in length. The reason they don't get so big in bowls is because they either die young or they are crushed to death over time by their internal organs growing but their bodies not being able to grow bigger because of the size of their containers (or at least this is what I've been told)

Most goldfish die young. They can easily live to be 20 years old, but many can also live much longer. They are related to koi (which is a big point to make because goldfish and koi are both species of carp!), which easily live to be 100 years old in proper care

Why am I saying all this? Because if you can, please take proper care of your fish. Please get a large enough aquarium for your fish. And as I said, every aquarium needs a filter. EVERY FISH NEEDS A FILTER AND A PROPER AQUARIUM, NOT A BOWL.

In fact, there's a trend amongst goldfish keepers where many people don't keep any substrate (because goldfish can accidentally eat the substrate and get sick) or plants (goldfish tend to eat the plants), though this is currently being challenged by some aquarists.

Also, goldfish are very messy eaters so they need frequent water changes to keep their water clean and healthy for them.

Don't keep your fish like Soap. Be a good fish parent like Gaz.