#csm rec

[kirbyfrogz]

please god i need people to read this hidden masterpiece i feel like im going insane

[stripedsilktie]

need kishibe fic recommendations please there is currently a grand total of 0 (ZERO) staple kishibe fics in my repertoire

[harrie-fic-center]

aki hayakawa

cigarettes by mitsuyaya

company by peepeegay

devil in hiding by blueberry0001

our boredom's bone deep by silkscreams

perfect partners by itadorey

sour switchblade by p00pdev1l

the rule of two by cilceon

[loveridden1999]

Back to your old (and your best) username I see...

it's like a drug i can never quit

[iridescentscarecrow]

by you talking about makima being an abusive mother i assume you're referring to eli's excellent post about CSM's association with motherhood. please do check it out if you haven't, it's been rotting away in my brain for a while and the Chainsaw Man as a birthing device is something i'll bring up in this response.

this is a really intriguing line of inquiry, and an interesting way to think of kishibe; so i'll attempt to assimilate my thoughts on how he's positioned in this answer. this will be quite long so do bear with me:

i've talked about how Family as a concept bleeds into part two from part one. in p1, makima forms for denji a Family, and in p2, denji is handed this motherhood over nayuta.

makima as the Mother is kept and collared by the state. and thinking of chainsaw man in terms of its reproductive power can be extended to its literal reproduction of the narrative. myth and memory form themselves through regurgitation, and the CSM cuts away this chain of reproduction when it eats entire concepts. when it makes people forget. there's an already apparent connection to the Womb (makima // nayuta // denji) but the selectivity in narrative-reproduction is why its central to makima and kishibe's conflict. the war against the mother who exerts control over the child.

because kishibe is the Masculine: he teaches makima and in turn makima entrusts denji and power to him,,, he narratively affirms denji's wondering if he's still able to feel, whether he shouldn't feel sadder at himeno's death by telling us, the audience, that the best devil hunters are those who "have a few screws loose." we're painted this image of denji as a feral incomprehensible Crazy thing, but this isn't true even at this phase of the story. he mourns pochita, he empathises with power's grief at losing meowy. [there's an intriguing line of thought where you compare denji with aki along this vein too, if you think about it].

and that's why the movie date with makima is actually the effective closing of this arc -- her telling denji that he does have a heart subverts kishibe's rhetoric, and what the story tells us denji is. this is makima in her role as mama, the mother, the love that she feels and recieves and creates. incidentally, the chaotic agent that kishibe envisions coincides with makima's idealisation of the chainsaw man, apart from the part where she's expressedly affectionate towards it. and who has she been raised by except these (masculine) institutions? who taught her how and what to want?

aside but "that's a lie." // he sees makima and recognises her machinations at one level but he's never really understood her or her need for love. she tells him that she wants to save people (and this may or may not be true) but he can't really parse that, can he? and kishibe also structures and contextualises so much of the story for us, just like what makima does: what i already said about denji's chaotic self, him narrating reze's past, etc. he's an independent source of information.

because yeah: kishibe is ruthless. and people often bring up kishibe's relationship with quanxi but i don't often see them balance her "ignorance is bliss" vs. kishibe's need to have a few screws loose. we know as the audience about how quanxi actively shuts herself off, but kishibe keeps talking about leaning into this devil hunter nature. and what i think is decipherable from this dynamic is that quanxi, or at least what kishibe sees her as, is kishibe's ideal. tbh she's actually a Symbol for various different ideals, her habitation and display of her sexuality alongside her Ignorance is denji's ultimate form! and kishibe trains denji... [aside but this is why cosmo being her gf is so interesting to me. something something woman who thinks ignorance is bliss x devil who embodies the Horrors of Knowing]

kishibe blindfolding himself after her death is him transposing that ignorance onto himself. he doesn't want to see a thing -- and that's where you see that dissonance. it's not that he's beyond caring, it's how blind he is in how he does this caring.

and kishibe strains against this, he wants to cut away his relationships as contrasted with makima (and even denji) wanting to form them. and this is why makima cutting off kishibe's last tie to quanxi is so interesting because you remember: quanxi didn't accept his deal.

you have kishibe pining after quanxi and yet she's not sexually available to him, so he further isolates himself. and the forming and breaking of relationships comes back here so vividly --

aki's and power's deaths form the CSM out of denji. it's crazy and unpredictable but it doesn't challenge makima, does it? // "attacks don't work against her."

and when all is said and done, denji tells him it's love. loove. denji's the one who explains makima to kishibe. they're sitting at the bench and denji's petting the dogs while nyako, the willingly domesticated animal, twirls itself around kishibe... and kishibe handles the cat with such affection. denji tells him it's love so what does he do except hand nayuta to him??

thank you for the ask, anon!

[verysium]

図書館: personal rec library

チェックイン: check-in

this is a personal collection of my favorite fics/series on tumblr and ao3. all works are divided by fandom then character. each fic is given a synopsis and brief paragraph of reflection notes i had while reading them. again, these are just my own interpretations, so feel free to take them with a grain of salt.

some works contain 18+ nsfw and dark content. in this case, minors do not interact. please keep in mind the original tags and warnings. most of these works are also not spoiler-free, so please read at your own discretion.

all authors are given their respective credits, and i highly encourage you to check out their works on their own platforms.

my ask box is always open for discussion, so feel free to drop by.

i will update this list whenever possible depending on any new fics that i read.

本を借りる: check-out

01 // jujustsu kaisen

02 // genshin impact

03 // blue lock

04 // my hero academia

05 // chainsaw man

06 // bleach

07 // hazbin hotel

[daisynik7]

nikki's first annual fic swap!

Hi friends! To celebrate this upcoming holiday season, as well as my one year anniversary here on tumblr, I want to do this festive event to spread some love to other writers out there who are constantly giving!

Instead of a gift swap, let's do a fic swap! Send me your favorite fic and I'll send you one of my faves in return!

Rules:

Please read my rules/guidelines before sending me anything.

Include the link to the fic (tumblr or ao3) and the writer's @ (you can include the "/" if you don't feel comfortable tagging them directly).

Write a little blurb about why you love the fic so much and show some extra love to the writer!

Feel free to send in your own fic as a recommendation! I'm a firm believer in self-promo! You can even send it anonymously, if you prefer.

In exchange, send me your wishlist! If you want a specific type of fic in return, please let me know your preferences: Show/Fandom, Character, Genre (fluff, smut, angst, combo), length (one-shot, series, drabble), anything else you think I need to know. Again, refer to my rules/guidelines before sending in your request to see who I typically write/read for.

If you don't have a wishlist in mind, I'll send you a random fave of mine!

All links to the fics will be compiled into the Naughty or Nice List below. Naughty will be nsfw, Nice will be sfw.

This is all about spreading love and cheer to writers and readers alike! Don't be shy! If you're an avid reader like I am, please show love to these writers by reblogging their works. A lot of time, dedication, and LOVE goes into writing. The least we can do is let these writers know how much we appreciate them by clicking that reblog button and sharing their works for others to enjoy.

This event will run from 12/1 through 12/15. Exchanges will be posted during this time frame. Thanks for participating and happy reading! ♥️

Header image from Pinterest. Divider credit to @/saradika.

The Naughty or Nice List Naughty (nsfw):

Golden Frame by @/jadeee (Nanami x f!reader)

Infiltration by @/pseudowho (Nanami x f!reader)

nanami’s gym routine by @/callm3senpaii (Nanami x f!reader)

Office Crush by @/todorosie (Choso x f!reader)

DTF Only by @/mochimooon (AoT x f!reader)

Gossip! by @/bloompompom (Eren x f!reader)

Nice (sfw):

Baby Talk by @/itsfairly (Nanami x f!reader)

Yuuji accidentally calls you mom by @/kentopedia (Nanami x f!reader)

This Is A Life by @/jadeee (Nanami x f!reader)

how it'll be by @/kentomilk (Nanami x f!reader)

♯ 𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊. by @/jabamin (Nanami x f!reader)

if i could bring you anything, i swear to god i'd bring you peace by @/haikyuuhoo (Geto x f!reader)

method acting by @/seeingivy (Eren x f!reader)

[slutsukio]

transient bonds. ( aki hayakawa x blk!femreader )

he casually ignites his cigarette, the flame casting a fleeting glow on his features as he remains indifferent to your presence. leaning back on the porch of his apartment, aki exhales a plume of smoke, fixating his gaze on the clouds lazily drifting across the sky. besides him, you sit, draped in his shirt, a garment he seems content to let you keep─ a momento that, in his mind, is far better off with you than as a reminder of a connection that is inevitably reaching its conclusion.

"we should just end this," he states, his words hanging in the air with a sense of resignation. the atmosphere is thick with the unspoken acknowledgement of the impermanence that defines his relationships. it's a truth he cant escape, especially given the nature of his work. to him, being in a relationship is akin to embracing a fleeting moment, a temporary respite from the harsh reality of his existence. it's like dating a living ghost, a man haunted by the shadows of his own profession.

the admission is not a surprise; rather, it's a long-anticipated recognition of the transitory nature of your connection. aki, in his pursuit of normalcy, has clung to you for as long as he could, seeking refuge from the chaos that defines his life. yet, as the smoke swirls around him, he articulates what both of you have likely sense for a while─ there's no reason to delay the inevitable, no point in prolonging a relationship destined to fade away. in his world, here permanence is a rare luxury, he suggests embracing the reality that any attachment is fleeting, and the only constant is change.

you could sense the gravity in his words, a seriousness that resonated deeply within her. aki, known for his candidness, wouldn't utter such statements without a purpose. as he spoke, a tidal wave of emotions crashed over you, the weight of his words feeling akin to a metaphorical building placed squarely on her shoulders. it was a moment where silence held more significance than words, and you chose not to speak, allowing yourself to be enveloped by the intensity of the situation. in that stillness, the weight of the unspoken hung in the air, creating a palpable atmosphere that spoke volumes.

"i didn't want to end this," he finally says, breaking the heavy silence that hung between them, still avoiding direct eye contact. "i didn't want to hurt you," he adds, a weight of remorse evident in his voice. “it has to end at some point,” he continues after a contemplative pause, his words carrying the resignation of someone who's reluctantly accepting a harsh truth. “this isn’t how I wanted it to go, but it’s not like I planned any of this.” the complexity of emotions lingers, as the inevitability of parting ways becomes a bitter pill for both to swallow.

you expressed your frustration by audibly sucking your teeth, a clear manifestation of your evident frustration. "no, you didn't hurt me," you asserted, dismissing any notion of mental harm. "don't ever say that you've hurt me, because you didn't. it's just disappointing to realize that I spent nearly eight months with someone who was only with me for their own selfish needs," you continued, your disappointment palpable. as he attempted to speak, you responded by walking back into the apartment, your own visible distress reflecting the emotional tension in the air.

aki's hands instinctively tightened it's grip around the slender cigarette, the ember casting an intense glow as he draws in another drag, before flicking the cigarette from his fingers and following after you. his lips contort into a discernible frown, the profound anger within him overpowering any lingering traces of sadness. "selfish needs?" he challenges, breaking the stare-off between you two. after a prolonged moment of contemplation, he continues with an edge in his voice, "i dedicated eight months of my life to you. it wasn't just about using you, y/n, i genuinely liked you." the words hung in the air.

"then, why, aki? why are we going through this painful breakup if you never truly desired a committed relationship? it feels like a betrayal, like you should have never entered into this connection with me, if your heart wasn't in it!" her voice echoed through the emptiness of his apartment, tears streaming down your honey-hued skin as you stood in the emotional turmoil that now surrounded them. the weight of disappointment hung heavily in the air, and the echoes of shattered expectations reverberated within the walls of their shared moments.

"because we wouldn't have lasted anyway!" the intensity in his voice resonates with a raw emotion that seems to stem form a deeper understanding. it's a moment where vulnerability clashes with harsh reality. he locked his eyes with you, as if imploring for you to grasp the gravity of his revelation. "don't you get it?" aki continues, a sense of frustration lacing his words. "i'm not like other people, my line of work─" his gaze momentarily shifts to the world outside the window, as if searching for answers in the distant landscapes.

the unspoken complexities of his profession and the inherent risks are laid bare in those words. it's a poignant moment where the clash between personal desires and the harsh demands of reality becomes palpable. aki's internal conflict spills into the conversation, leaving an indelible mark on the fragile connection between you two. each word seems to carve a deeper trench, exposing the intricacies of a life entangled with uncertainty and the inability to promise a conventional future.

aki's unspoken words and thoughts were like fragile glass lodged in his lungs, a puncture leaving him momentarily breathless before the internal bleeding of his truth spilled from his chapped lips. the room absorbed the silent shards of his turmoil, each one a testament to the complex emotions swirling within him. he observed you with pleading eyes as you gathered your belongings, an unsettling calmness accompanying your actions. the palpable sense of abandonment hung thick in the air, starkly contrasting the shared journey of emotions they had once navigated together.

the words that escaped aki's lips were not an anguished cry, but a piercing inquiry, "how can you just act so goddamn calm? don't you care?" the weight of frustration, confusion, and a profound sense of injustice reverberated in his spoken truth, creating ripples of tension in the room.

the dissonance between their emotions created a painful rift, leaving him grappling with the unfairness of the situation. it was evident that he didn't want this to end, and the realization that you were leaving hit him hard. the complexity of emotions played out on his face, reflecting the internal struggle between his desire for the relationship to continue and the apparent absence of alternatives.

as you continued to pack with a nonchalant demeanor, the stark contrast to the emotional storm in the room became even more apparent. the silence persisted, an unspoken dialogue that highlighted the challenge of finding common ground when faced with the inevitability of separation. the room stood witness to the fragments of a relationship, each piece a silent testimony to the complexities of love, loss, and the unanswered questions that hung in the air.

in the end, as the last item found its place in your bag, the room seemed to exhale a heavy sigh, acknowledging the closure of a chapter that had once held the promise of shared dreams and emotions. in the midst of the heavy silence, you finally found the strength to speak, your voice carrying the weight of love and pain. "aki, i want you to know how much i've loved you," you admitted, your words holding a bittersweet resonance.

'this hurts more than i can express, and i never wanted it to come to this. but sometimes, we need to find our own paths." tears welled up in your eyes as you continued, "the love we shared was real, and it will always hold a special place in my heart. but staying might only bring more hurt, to the both of us, and i can't bear to see you suffer," you continued.

as aki stared at you, a palpable sense of regret draped over him like a heavy shroud. the room seemed to absorb the gravity of the moment, as if acknowledging the complexity and difficulty that underscored this farewell. his gaze, once filled with shared laughter and tender moments, now held a somber weight. breaking up with you, he had thought, might be a straightforward step to take, a decision that offered a clean break. yet, reality had proven harsher, and the act of parting ways became an arduous journey.

silence lingered in the air, carrying the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions. aki's struggle manifested in the furrow of his brow and the hesitancy in his movements. this wasn't merely a separation of two people; it was the dismantling of a shared history, a chapter of intertwined lives that had once held the promise of a future together.

the room, witness to countless shared joys and sorrows, bore witness to this poignant moment of dissolution. aki, grappling with the inner turmoil, found himself confronted with the undeniable truth that saying goodbye to you was, in fact, the hardest thing on earth. in those moments of prolonged silence, the unspoken words reverberated between you. aki's regret, etched on his face, mirrored the complexity of emotions that accompanied parting ways. the decision to end the relationship carried a heaviness that transcended the mere act of walking away; it was an acknowledgment of the profound impact you had on each other's lives.

the somber sanctuary enveloped you both in a heavy silence, the emotional intricacies of this farewell unfolded like a tapestry, woven with threads of love, regret, and the undeniable pain of separation. taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself and approached aki with a mixture of resolve and vulnerability. as you drew in a deep breath, it felt like inhaling the remnants of a love that hung thick in the air. your steps toward aki held the weight of a journey, a journey that transcended the physical space between you.

despite the jagged edges of hurt, you embraced him, the tenderness of the hug a fragile bridge spanning the emotional chasm. his arms enveloped you, a sanctuary built from shared laughter and whispered confidences. in that moment, the embrace became a cocoon, shielding you momentarily from the harsh reality that awaited. a soft kiss planted on your temple was a fleeting promise, a delicate brushstroke on the canvas of your shared history. "i love you too, y/n. take care," he uttered, his words echoing in the room like a melancholic melody. each word, a note in a song of parting, resonated with the depth of emotions you both grappled with. the door, now a portal to an uncertain future, stood ajar, and you took hesitant steps away from the warmth of his embrace.

walking out of his door, the closing creak of it seemed like the final punctuation in a chapter that had unfolded like a beautifully tragic novel. your tears, flowing freely, painted a mural on your ebony-hued skin, each drop a brushstroke expressing the intricate pain of letting go. the outside world greeted you with its own palette of emotions – the cool breeze carried the whispers of change, and the distant echoes of life continued, indifferent to the upheaval within your heart. your tears, now akin to a river, mirrored the tumultuous flow of emotions that had breached the levees of your composure.

his words lingered in the corridors of your mind, becoming a haunting melody that intertwined with your thoughts. the love, once a vibrant tapestry, now bore the stains of farewell. as you navigated the solitude beyond his door, it felt like stepping into an uncharted realm, the path ahead obscured by the mist of uncertainty.

in the aftermath, you grappled with the weight of those whispered words. they were not merely spoken; they were etched into the very fabric of your being. the love that had once flourished within the walls of shared dreams and emotions now became a compass, guiding you through the uncharted landscapes of a life reshaped by parting.

❁ suki speaking — after procrasinating for WEEKS, i FINALLY finished!! congratulate me. me finishing also factors into the fact that neso woulda KILLED me if i haven't have finished in a timely manner...hell im alr on thin ice. but, enjoy!! :3

[moviebunny]

nightmares

[frankencanon]

if 30k words of a 13-year-old denji bullying hero killer stain is something that interests you then consider checking out this fic

[mdns-whspr]

Old art gift for @darzne

[pr4yerp0sition]

read tokyo ghoul, I'm no longer asking 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

[taniushka12]

one day i gotta finish reading chainsaw man...

[cinephobia]

Should I start reading CSM or should I read something else?

[mistystarshine]

Psssst. If you like Aki-47 and/or canon divergent fics, go read Fugue immediately

[lavenderjewels]

do people have manga or anime recommendations