#crying and vomiting in the parking lot rn

[gggoofiestgoober]

1st year being roommates -> 4th year being roommates 🙃🙃🙃

[stardust-sunset]

I saw that you are still taking requests sooo begging on my knees for Stan or Kyle (whichever one you prefer/want to write abt) x t!reader. I’m so touch starved so anything with physical affection would be perfect I just need some type of comfort rn hhhh. If you don’t want to write this that’s okay I completely understand!! (^_^)

Ask and you shall receive!

I’ll do both

Stan and Kyle with a TINY!S/O

Stan Marsh

He’s honestly very gentle with you

He doesn’t wanna go around and show you off, he kinda just wants you to be safe with him

Because he knows with Shelley and Randy around you probably won’t be safe

But anyway

He probably found you in Shelley’s room tbh

You were borrowing some of her stuff and Stan walked in on you

Randy ended up seeing you too, so Stan kinda just hid you behind his back and managed to get out

Randy thought Stan was stealing Shelley’s old dolls

At first he was absolutely flabbergasted

He probably just came home one day to find Sparky chasing you around

So he ended up picking you up with a single hand and kinda just took you to his room?

He’s like, twenty times your height

So seeing his eyes that were basically the size of your head looking down at you was…scary

At first he didn’t even think you were real

Hr probably just kept telling himself it was Randy’s pot farm, or that he was imagining shit

But eventually, he came to terms that you were real

And soon you grow to develop feelings for each other

He makes sure that you’re safe all the time

He probably throws up on you a lot but he tries not to

Hr gives you a bath after so don’t worry

If he finds you crying, he kinda just picks you up in his palms and holds you gently

The only one who knows about you is Kyle

Probably because one day he walked in on Stan cleaning you off after vomiting on you due to his crush on you

But Stan made him swear to not tell anyone

He doesn’t let you sleep in the bed with him because he’s scared he’ll roll over in his sleep and crush you

But sometimes he’ll put you on his chest over his heartbeat until you fall asleep, to which he’ll probably put you in a little washcloth burrito

Overall v good :)

Kyle Broflovski

He probably found you in Cartman’s bourse

(just pretend you were a borrower at his house)

So one day, while you were ‘borrowing’, Kyle happened to walk in on you

At the same time Cartman did

Kyle dashed for you so Cartman wouldn’t get to you because who knew the tortures you would endure with him

Kyle insisted you were just a bug, so hr kinda managed to get away with you while stuffing you in a jar

And when he managed to get back to his house, he realized being stuck in a jar with a giant person looking at you through the glass couldn’t have been pleasant

So he began working at making you a living space

He honestly isn’t shocked by you

Hes seen some shit in South Park

So, he probably interrogated you while making you a matchbox bed or something

And eventually he decides to keep you in his house

He’s very gentle with you

And protective

Like if anyone so much as touches you he’s about to beat the shit out of them

He, like Stan, doesn’t let you sleep in the same bed as him

But he’ll stroke your hair sometimes when you’re falling asleep

He probably scares you sometimes with his angry outbursts

But in the end he’ll make up for it in hugs and such

(he’s not much of a kisser)

Hes a sweet kid, but he’s just very angry, lol

[fernreads]

A nurse writes to hospital executives: ‘All I’ve ever wanted to be was a nurse’

by Lauren Borell, Minnesota Reformer November 4, 2022

I am a nurse at Methodist Hospital in St. Louis Park. I am tired and defeated. After our recent three-day strike, I went to work at 7 a.m., and I wanted to leave as soon as I walked into the hospital. 

We were short staffed — again. I made an “aware,” which is a hospital term we use that means a report of unsafe staffing, hospital conditions, maintenance or security issues. 

My aware went to my unit manager. We had a 30 minute conversation about my feelings and how disappointed I am in my leaders. 

I decided to send an email to CEO Andrea Walsh and Vice President Melissa Fritz. 

I want to make everyone aware that nurses are suffering, and health care is on the brink of collapse.

Below is the email that I sent to the CEO and VP. 

My name is Lauren Borell and I am a 22-year-old registered nurse at Methodist Hospital. All I ever wanted to be was a nurse.

 A recent Thursday was the worst day of my nursing career. Let me explain. I have been in the medical field since I was 16. The day I wanted to be a nurse was the first day I ever watched someone die. 

Long story short: I was parasailing with my mom in the middle of the ocean when the captain had a heart attack. I performed CPR on him for over 15 minutes — just me — because no one else knew how to do it. I felt ribs cracked, I had blood and vomit all over me, and I watched this complete stranger take his last breath in my arms. 

I became a certified nursing assistant at a local nursing home, where I cared for moms, dads, grandpas and grandmas. I’d watch their hearts break because their family didn’t come see them. I held their hands as their soul left them because I was the only person there. I cleaned their excrement, fed them, listened to their stories, washed their hair because there was no one else to care for them. All I ever wanted to be was a nurse.

I started taking pre requisites for nursing school in high school. When I got to college I applied for a scholarship, and the scholarship application asked one question: Why do you want to be a nurse? 

I told them the story of watching that stranger die in my arms. The scholarship allowed me to focus on my passion because it helped pay for my tuition. I helped teachers educate students on the  fundamentals of nursing. I joined as many committees as I could to share my passion with other students and peers. All I ever wanted to be was a nurse.

I became a nurse intern at Methodist. I learned what kind of nurse I wanted to be and where I wanted to work as an RN. I did my capstone on a unit for critical care patients in the fall.

All I had was COVID-19 patients. I listened to the BiPap alarms, ran into rooms only to realize the machine was pumping air into a lifeless body. I listened to families sob on the phones because COVID didn’t allow them to say goodbye to their loved one. All I ever wanted to be was a nurse.

I became a full-time RN at Methodist in February. Part time, I also became a home health nurse for a terminally ill 8 year old boy. 

At Methodist, I have been verbally harassed, physically assaulted and mentally abused by patients. But it’s OK, because I am finally a nurse. I’ve taken five to seven patients at a time since being a nurse, which puts patient safety at risk, but it’s okay because I am finally a nurse. I started leaving work defeated after a long day, feeling unsupported from my leaders and sitting in my car in the parking lot, crying, but’s it’s OK because I am finally a nurse.

I had the privilege of loving an 8-year-old during his final months. Seeing him was my escape from the hospital because I never left crying. I wanted to go to work with him. I watched an 8-year-old boy die, and the next day I went back to work at the hospital for my shift. We were short staffed, unsupported, and I was mourning a child. I cried in the bathroom for my lunch break, but it’s okay because I am finally a nurse.

After all the death I have seen since I was 16, after all the hateful words I’ve heard from patients, after all the days short-staffed and struggling to keep my head up, nothing compares to that terrible Thursday. 

Going through a strike is like going through a messy divorce. I didn’t think coming back from a three-day strike was going to be easy, but I didn’t know it was going to make me not want to be a nurse. Walking into the hospital and seeing management say good morning was the biggest slap in the face, and man did it sting. The travel nurses got free lunches. The hospital was paying them more than twice what I make. That hurt. But when I learned they were overstaffed with travel nurses? That crushed me. 

In other words, the three days that we went on strike, patients had more safety than I have ever given them since February. Leaders and hospital administrators were there 24/7 supporting the travel nurses, but for their own employees? We have had no support. Everyone left as soon as we got there — no support, no help, and no confidence. We were understaffed a day after the strike ended. Five patients for the nurses’ assignments. No free lunches, no extra pay for doing the job of two nurses. 

I realized on that day, that this isn’t okay just because I am finally a nurse.

Methodist ripped my passion for nursing away from me on that day. All I’ve ever wanted to be was a nurse. I have no faith in any hospital leaders or administrators. If you have the privilege of reading this email, my name is Lauren Borell RN, I am 22 years old and a nurse at Methodist. I have no idea who my leaders are, and I would love to talk with them because all I’ve ever wanted to be was a nurse and I’m not done fighting for my passion yet.

[samlicker81]

Lucky | Part 2

Read Part 1

Sam X Reader

Summary: You’re unlucky in love when you find a lost wallet outside a bar and are smitten with the photo on the ID inside.  Could your luck have turned, or have you found yourself in the middle of something unfortunate?

Warnings: masturbation, non consensual voyeurism 

Word Count: 1.5K

The clock on your dashboard reads 7:16 AM when you pull into the parking lot of the university library. You’re so exhausted you have to countdown from three in your head to motivate your limbs to extricate yourself from the car. You knew it would be hard juggling work and school like this, but with no work, there’d be no school. 12-hour overnight shifts at the hospital are the most compatible with your busy schedule, but they’re a beating. To the point where the smell of coffee wafting from the Starbucks in the lobby is almost euphoric.

It’s easy to find a good, quiet spot this early. You settle at an empty table with the textbook you need to start studying. A tight budget also means relying on library copies of textbooks. You don’t mind it too much though; the library is comfortable and a good excuse to get fancy coffee.

This time, he finds you. You must have dozed off, leaning your face on your elbow propped hand. You don’t hear what woke you, but when you open your eyes, Greg’s face is right in front of yours. “Greg?” you croak and then clear your throat, “this is so weird, what are you doing here? I didn’t know you went to school here.”

“I don’t, I just couldn’t find what I was looking for at the public library, so I asked here and they’re letting me use what I need, as long as I don’t take anything with me. Sorry to wake you up.” He laughs, eyebrows raised.” You smile, rub your eyes, and take a sip of cold coffee.

“I just got off a 12-hour shift…,” you check your watch, “a little over an hour ago. And I’ve only written like 15 flashcards.” You roll your eyes at yourself and he motions to your scrubs.

“You’re a nurse?”

“LPN, working on RN.”

“Wow, good for you. Sounds exhausting,” he laughs again, “is this seat taken? I promise not to distract,” he’s already sitting down in the seat across from you. You get a glimpse of the way his hand stretches across the entire cover of the book he’s holding before he sets down the stack. It’s distracting when the man so much as blinks.

It’s going on noon when you both go your separate ways. You have a stupid grin on your face while you’re walking back your car, holding only 20 completed flashcards. Because you know he’s walking out with your number.

-

*One week later*

He didn’t call.

In the back of your mind, you knew he wouldn’t. The good guys are always too good to be true. You sigh, stepping out the shower and wrapping a towel around yourself. You step into your empty bedroom and flop onto the bed without the energy to dry off and get dressed. You wallow in your loneliness for a minute or two while you watch your ceiling fan spin.

When you finally will yourself to move, you throw out your arm to prop your body up into action and feel the hard shape of your vibrator under the comforter beneath your elbow. You stop. The mess in the kitchen could wait. You could use a little serotonin boost.

You sink back into your pillows, pulling your toy out. You spread your legs and press the soft, purple silicone into your folds, sliding it back and forth a few times. Your eyes close as you give your mind over to the sensation, the towel slipping away from your body.

You press a button and the gentle vibrations send your head tipping backwards, a hum escaping your lips. You slide your other hand up your stomach, letting the rest of the towel fall away, to squeeze your left breast. Despite yourself, it’s Greg’s massive hand that you imagine is palming it and pinching at your nipple. It’s his broad shoulders that you imagine is pressing your thighs open. And his tongue that you imagine is working your clit.

You move the vibrator in circles, collecting your own moisture to slide it more easily. In your mind, dark eyes are staring up at you from between your legs. His long hair is tickling against the insides of your thighs. Your circles grow faster as your breath picks up. You click another button and the vibrations get more intense. You’re gasping and squeezing your eyes shut, your hips bucking upward. You imagine yourself pressing up into his face and feeling the scruff on his chin scrape against your tender flesh.

You cum with your mouth open in a soundless cry. Your hips rock and twitch against the vibrator riding out the last strands of pleasure.

After a few moments of catching your breath, you bring yourself to your feet to give the toy a wash in your bathroom sink. You slip your towel off to dry the vibrator, and to wipe at the slickness between your legs before discarding it in a heap on the floor. You stroll back into your room naked to pull on some sweats and an old charity 5K T-shirt.

Not feeling much more energized, but with a pleasant relaxed feeling settling in your bones, you take on the kitchen. Finals week had left it in a rough state. Days of making quick meals and running out the door left the sink to pile up with dishes caked with food. The trash can stood full with another tied up bag stinking beside it. Cleaning felt good. It felt like control. While the end of the semester meant a break from classes, homework, and studying, it also meant taking on extra shifts at the hospital to build your bank account back up during break.

With the kitchen finally looking and smelling a little more normal, you grab the two full trash bags and walk down the two flights of stairs from your apartment door to the ground. Making your way back from the short walk to the dumpster, you glimpse an unfamiliar car parked two spaces from yours. You don’t know why it stopped you for a second, then you realize it’s because it is familiar. You know nothing about cars, but it sticks out because its so old looking. You remember seeing the same exact one parked outside the bar when you returned Greg’s wallet.

Against your better judgement, you approach it. You squeeze your brass knuckle keychain tighter in your fingers. You don’t even know what you expect to see when you lower your head to peek in the window, but you certainly don’t expect it to start rolling down.

You jump back, yelping. You’re frozen in place while your brain is screaming at you to run. Then you see Greg’s face appearing above the glass.

“What the hell!?” You manage, while your heart still thumps in your ears.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can explain.” He says calmly, his hands up, palms facing outward in innocence.

“You better.” Your fingers are losing feeling around your keychain. He sighs and rubs a hand over his face.

“My job is really weird, okay? It’s hard to explain, but when most people bump into someone twice in a week, they can chalk it up to a funny coincidence. I have to be suspicious. I have to suspicious about everything. About everyone.” He’s not meeting your eyes.

“So, I’m the suspicious one? You’re making sure that I’m not a creep!?” Your voice is raising in volume and pitch with each word. “So, you’re outside my apartment fucking watching me!?” You point aggressively up toward your apartment. Your eyes flick up follow your gesture and you do a double take.

You’re pointing to one of the two windows in your apartment that face the street. You can see every single detail in your lit-up bedroom very clearly from where you stand. Your stomach drops. You’re still staring up when you ask, “How long have you been sitting out here?”

There’s no answer and you turn slowly back to meet Greg’s eyes. His expression is wide eyed, and his jaw is tight. Your knees are wobbly from embarrassment and anger. “I’m calling the cops.” Your voice is low and shaky.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to see anything. It wasn’t like that, please.” He pleads, his wide eyes have this puppy dog look that makes you sick.

“You have ten seconds to get out of my sight.” You pull your phone out of your sweatpants pocket. The engine roars to life immediately and you stare him down as he drives away. You stand for a moment, shaking with rage until the adrenaline starts wearing off and you feel like you’re going to vomit. Somehow your liquid legs get you back up the two flights of stairs to your door. You turn out the light, close the blinds, and sink into bed and pull out your phone. You take a deep breath as you press the ringing tone to your ear.

“Emily? Are you busy? Can you come over?”

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: I'm not at work Jimmy: if you were gonna come in and be #goals Janis: weren't Janis: but tah for heads-up Jimmy: 👍 Janis: do you know 'bout my fave barista or should I roll the dice Jimmy: he's covering for me Janis: oh good Janis: 💕 Jimmy: can't say I never do owt for you, mate Janis: don't cash the IOU yet Jimmy: why? Jimmy: I get it, you look as rough as I feel but Pete ain't that shallow 💕 Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm great Jimmy: bollocks Janis: am too Janis: been for my run and everything Janis: I can handle mine, like Jimmy: fake it for the 'gram, my dear, I don't need to hear it, like Janis: later then skiver Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I've got two kids hanging round my neck, what are you doing? Janis: no concern of yours Janis: check the socials if you're so interested Jimmy: you'll be grooming your horse or counting your cash, no need Jimmy: and now making yourself look #🔥 for the CG Janis: wow, you know me so well Janis: #flex when it counts Jimmy: [does like a cringey tweet for her or something] Jimmy: there Janis: 👏 Janis: sound cover it for today Jimmy: 👌 Janis: if you see a purse can you chuck it back to me Jimmy: after I've taken all the cash out, yeah Janis: 👑 don't carry cash Janis: it's got my gym card in it though so, if you do find it Jimmy: guess I'm working out today too then 💪🏆 tah Janis: welcome Jimmy: [a moment cos he's looking for it genuinely] Jimmy: where do you want me to bring it? Janis: oh good Janis: you at work tomorrow Jimmy: Can't pull a sickie every day, can I? Jimmy: not cancer riddled yet Janis: cheery Janis: don't bother getting out your sickbed Janis: just give it to grace Jimmy: how's that gonna look? Jimmy: you're already not babysitting with me right now 💔 Janis: 🙄 Janis: fine I'll come get it tomorrow then Jimmy: or meet me at the park by mine, get it, pose a bit and pretend you're with me today Janis: not really in the mood Janis: hungover or nah Jimmy: fake it Janis: that's precisely what I'm not in the mood for Janis: I ain't at home, just say I'm there Jimmy: hang on, I'll just photoshop you in Jimmy: won't be suss Janis: we don't need to be together 24/7 Janis: only that lot are that highkey Jimmy: you wanted highkey, mate Jimmy: and I just put my hand down the back of a fucking minging sofa for you, top that Janis: nah, that was definitely you Janis: 💕 Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: on it with your lies this morning, you Jimmy: just what I look for in a lass that 😍😍 Janis: bitch what lie, where Janis: highkey for highkey was 100% your line Jimmy: you said some shit about appealing to our audience first Jimmy: and that you didn't wanna scale it back so there's your lie, Jenna Janis: whatever Janis: I'm busy right now Janis: maybe I'll come by later Jimmy: I won't be walking the dog later, I'll be walking her in a bit Jimmy: gonna knock and run instead though Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck sake Janis: be there then Janis: not hanging about Jimmy: and I am? the shit you've gotta do ain't more important than mine, girl Janis: how'd you know Janis: not a competition anyway Jimmy: that'd be a first Janis: ha ha Janis: stop mucking about Janis: can you be there in 20? Jimmy: can you? Janis: obviously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: try and look like you're not dying Jimmy: late nights are #goals Jimmy: keep up Janis: if you leave out all actual details Janis: sure Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em all out Janis: have you checked what you did put out Janis: always got to take back the bootycalls and texts to your ex before the PM Jimmy: I deleted my ex's number ages ago, we're all set Jimmy: only got the 1 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: toodles my love Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: it's alright Janis: not gonna tell your manager on you when I'm there Jimmy: You'd have to run into him first Jimmy: even for an athlete like you, that's a challenge too far Janis: #officebants Janis: save it for Pete Jimmy: giving you a freebie to woo him with Jimmy: welcome Janis: if you knew how, you would've already Jimmy: might've done, how would you know? Jimmy: gotta keep it off the socials for your sake Janis: 😂 Janis: you think you'd be better at faking it by now Jimmy: oh you've got complaints, eh? Jimmy: go on Janis: don't you have an official procedure to follow Janis: another question to ask Jimmy: not on the clock, babe Janis: 'course Janis: so sick Janis: poor boy Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: wow, way to ruin my day Janis: 💔 Jimmy: too soon to start posting vent statuses probably Jimmy: poor little rich girl Janis: I'll deal with getting consoled on the low, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you gotta bring the kids or Jimmy: or what, lock 'em in? Janis: I dunno, your sister ain't that young is she Jimmy: she's not coming Janis: okay Janis: well I won't keep you Jimmy: I'm on the dog's 💩 schedule not yours Janis: yeah but you know what I mean Jimmy: you're busy, you don't need to kill your horse to flog it, Jasmine Jimmy: point made Janis: if you like Jimmy: how? Janis: how? Jimmy: how are my likes owt to do with it? Janis: well that ain't what I meant so it must suit you at the very least Jimmy: what did you mean? Janis: that I ain't gonna hang 'round and cause drama Janis: I remember waking him up last night, like Jimmy: he's got swings and a slide and climbing frame, on top of a puppy to chase, he's not gonna give a shit about me or you Jimmy: my sister's the one being dramatic and as I said, she ain't coming Janis: well either way Janis: I shouldn't have come back, like so Jimmy: you didn't stay, it don't matter Janis: I know that ain't how it works Janis: got enough inconsiderate older brothers and sisters, like Jimmy: how it works is I was back later than I said Jimmy: nowt to do with you Janis: literally untrue Jimmy: you were there, don't mean you get it Jimmy: no need to unlock my family dynamics Janis: ain't trying or planning to Janis: I kept you out late and I'm trying to say soz so take it Jimmy: like you forced me, piss off Janis: didn't mean to get you in trouble with your boss, like Jimmy: you didn't Janis: sounds like it Jimmy: where you getting that from? Janis: she's giving you the 🥶 out Jimmy: she's giving me the 🖕 Jimmy: used to that Janis: 🎻 Janis: alright then, I'm here early Janis: gonna do some laps, text when you're here or something Jimmy: [appears not long after like oh hey but not texting cos can't be tamed] Janis: [when you're shook again but hide it like boy, putting your hand out like purse please] Jimmy: [chucks it at her obvs which makes Twix a little bit wild] Janis: [meet cute with the dog lmao, also saying hello to Bobby 'cos you aren't that rude] Jimmy: [when Bobby ain't saying hello back cos shy egg but Twix is friendly enough for everyone] Janis: [not gonna take it personal, like, even if this is so awks now, takes a few snaps of Twix and turns to him like yay or nay?] Jimmy: [takes some pics of her and Twix in response cos nothing fake about that love or cuteness and it's a good delaying tactic before you have to pose with the bae yourself] Janis: [takes him his messy self and is 😏 but can't be properly smug 'cos feeling it too] Janis: in* Jimmy: [he's literally 😎 but grumpier lol then he has to let Bobby take some pics cos the boy wanna do whatever he does like bear with bae] Janis: [when that's shamelessly cute so you just chill on a bench nearby, giving love to Twix when she comes 'round Jimmy: [when you go sit on a swing so your brother will but you gotta beckon her over to sit on it with you for the pics and it's gonna be so awks bye] Janis: [when you just have to commit to it 'cos overcompensate always] Jimmy: [taking so many pics and vids for the different angles honey] Janis: [when you're still looking #goals oh lads, as if you're not dying at having to be sat on him rn] Jimmy: [when he's likewise dying at her being on his lap though #don'tletherseedon'tletherknow] Janis: [you do not need this many pictures, hop off] Jimmy: [when you then spend 3x as long as it takes to go through 'em deleting etc cos the awks] Janis: send me any decent ones Jimmy: [does] Janis: tah Jimmy: 💕 Janis: have fun Jimmy: without you, never, baby 😘 Janis: [does lil lol as she's slowly walking away like okay then, but Twix keeps following so it's taking a while] Janis: come get your dog Jimmy: take it with you Janis: don't be mean Janis: it's adorable Jimmy: have it then Janis: the kid don't hate me yet, don't throw me under the bus as a 🐶napper Jimmy: he ain't noticed, on you go Janis: he will do Janis: you just want me to walk it, yeah Jimmy: Keep it Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: we need to buy one together and have a custody battle Jimmy: alright Jimmy: let's go adopt a new 🐶 Janis: what breed Jimmy: what's #trending? Jimmy: leave this one tied to the roundabout, hang on Janis: not with your brother Janis: get rspca and social on you Jimmy: I'll send him home Jimmy: note pinned to his coat, like Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: don't cry, you'll get a headache Janis: so comforting Janis: #baeoftheyear Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt darling Janis: I've had my vitamin c already Janis: but we can pretend you hit me with a smoothie of 💕 Janis: ew Jimmy: do you genuinely have a vomit kink or what? Jimmy: getting me close, girl 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: trying to put me off my 🍕 before I've ordered it Jimmy: Mia would be proud Janis: hot Janis: 😬 I didn't think that sentence through leave me alone Janis: I'm not on top form rn Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: knew you were wrecked too Janis: not as much as you, boy Jimmy: I drank more than you, lightweight Janis: yeah, 'cos you stole it Janis: wanker Jimmy: you stole my jacket, I didn't wanna freeze to death Janis: I did not Janis: you wouldn't take it back Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: I remember being gutted it WAS you, trust me Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: heartless, me Jimmy: You wanna fill that hole with pizza or keep flirting with me? Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: it's an easy question Jimmy: how many braincells did you 💀💀💀 last night, pisshead? Janis: sounded sordid Janis: I was just wondering if #kinkunlocked Jimmy: Are you hungry or not? You know I'm a feeder Janis: Yeah, I could eat Jimmy: so come on back to the house of fun Janis: sure Jimmy: [rounding up dogs and kids like but Bobby's in a mood cos he wanna stay so Jimmy's like FINE I'll get it delivered to the park ffs so then he gotta text Cass to get her to come over lol] Janis: [moves closer to 'em again, sits on said roundabout Jimmy: [sits with her obvs when you lowkey lying there cos you feel crap] Janis: [popping out some painkillers like here boy] Jimmy: [when you dry swallow cos you ain't got a drink & then stick your tongue out to show her they gone cos you a nerd] Janis: [pat his head like he's a dog] Jimmy: [letting it happen] Janis: [pushing back his fringe 'cos sweaty forehead] Jimmy: [thank god he's got his shades on so he can look at her & she doesn't need to know that he isn't a grumpy boy in that moment] Janis: [when Bobby wants to be pushed so she's like is it okay if I do it 'cos Jimmy is in no fit state lol and Bobby is like okay 'cos just wants to be pushed and she ain't up in his face] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna be snapping sneaky pics of them cos cute. Also I like to imagine Twix annoying him as he's tryna chill lol] Janis: [just loling to herself 'cos also cute] Janis: probably go sleep on something that doesn't spin 'round and 'round, babe Jimmy: I'm not going to sleep, I'm 💀💀💀ing tah very much Jimmy: show some respect all of you Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll save the kind words and tears for when you gone Janis: gotta fake it 'til the end Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: what do you wanna eat? pizza faves weren't on our couples questionnaire Janis: anything hot, anything with meat on Janis: I'm easy tbh Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Oh, shut up Jimmy: or what? Janis: or I'll come give you a push Jimmy: so fierce you 🐅 Janis: better hope you never find out, boy Janis: 👊 Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: [a wild Cass appears and ignores everyone but Twix cos mad about last night still] Jimmy: you've got competition now, mate Janis: nah, you're on your own Janis: 🤷 soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: got enough sisters of my own to deal with without taking on yours Janis: you'll need to fake marry a bitch for that level of service Jimmy: swap you Gracie, she likes me Jimmy: [goes to talk to Cass and she shouts at him as is their standard, really helping that headache] Janis: happily Janis: beats crying Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [Keeping Bobby busy running 'round the park like a crazy person] Jimmy: [if this weren't awks before thanks Cass just don't smack him his fake gf don't need to see that before she's even met you] Janis: she'll cheer up when pizza gets here Janis: all been hangry Jimmy: subtle hint that, Judith Janis: I'm being lovely, fuck off Jimmy: not to me Janis: you really gonna push a child off the swing to have a go Janis: not #goals mate, not #goals at all Jimmy: you really gonna let my sister think my girlfriend don't like me Jimmy: #savage Janis: Yeah, what she needs right now is some PDA Janis: love me for that, like Jimmy: you leapt to that, mate Jimmy: lads and lasses can talk you know Janis: You know I don't talk Janis: we been over this Janis: #specialsnowflakesyouandme Jimmy: we've been over this, you have to fake it Jimmy: I get that you really wanna kiss me but everything else Janis: 😒 Janis: you really want another woman in your face rn, fine Janis: [comes over like hey] Jimmy: [drags her far enough away that they can 🚬 without being around kids or dogs] Janis: [grateful for the break but also more awks 'cos just them again] Jimmy: [smoking in awkward silence such fun lads] Janis: [taps his head, not roughly, like, how're you doing now?] Jimmy: [shrugs because v helpful always] Janis: ['good talk' like ain't that what we're meant to be doing lmao] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna' like here's your out for a sec, take it] Janis: [goes to shake head but turns it into a shrug] Jimmy: [on his phone like an antisocial bitch] Janis: [when you're bouncing your legs up and down 'cos can't sit still at the best of times, just keeping an eye out for the pizza hardcore] Jimmy: [meanwhile you just straight up sit on the floor cos you realise you don't need to be standing rn] Janis: [Twix gonna jump you boy] Jimmy: [when you're like come here cos you don't want the dog in your grill so the bae MUST sit on you instead, that's just logical and nbd] Janis: [when you look at him like really?] Jimmy: [ just lifting your shades so you can look at her like come on] Janis: [does and gives him a look like 'I hate you so much' but when it's also a LOOK] Jimmy: [is 😏 but when she's sitting with her he's just touching her in the SOFTEST ways like playing with her hair & so lightly tracing her skin with a fingertip that you might think it's a bug or something lol cos tired af since he barely slept and is the softest boy] Janis: [when there's no faking that you ain't about it 'cos you have never felt anything on this level of soft so you don't know how you're meant to be so you're like help] Jimmy: [when you're then just leaning on her so its lowkey snuggling] Janis: [when you literally say 'what the fuck' but quietly and with feeling] Jimmy: [when you don't say anything cos what can you tbh] Janis: [gotta have that pizza show up to cockblock] Jimmy: [just casually gonna go eat pizza with the fam like that didn't happen okay boy] Janis: [when you're just there like do I stay or do I go] Jimmy: [when you literally handhold her over to the fam like eat your pizza but obvs its so fake bye] Janis: [palm a couple of slices and yeet babe like g2g bye] Jimmy: [Twix is 💔 we're all 💔] Janis: [give her some sneaky pizza kids] Jimmy: [nomming the crusts like a Roo] Janis: [getting tooty] Jimmy: [well that was awkward, thanks so much Jimothy] Janis: [later like early PM] Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: ? Janis: doesn't matter if I can't come over/you can't come out but just meet me for obligatory selfies to prove we're together Jimmy: where? Janis: doesn't matter, can be a #datenight or #cosynightinwithbae but gimme fake plans to get me out of real & unwanted ones Jimmy: alright Jimmy: come here then Janis: you home now? Jimmy: I'm not gonna send you somewhere I ain't, am I? Janis: alright smartarse Janis: was being courteous Janis: be there in fucking forever 'cos gotta get the bus in Jimmy: I just got out the shower if you need details, like Jimmy: you want me to meet you somewhere else? Janis: I did not need to know but I'll get the 😍 on then, tah Janis: nah, it's fine, got to get out this house anyway, wherever I'm going Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: Tell Mia I missed her today before you go if she's there #obvs Janis: how did you know Janis: but get to fuck Janis: she's being avoided #obvs Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: How did I recognise an #obvs SOS or the #obvs cause when I heard it? Janis: yeah well it's all your fault so you should be more ready to help Janis: #letdown tbh Jimmy: what have I done? Janis: they wouldn't be strongarming me into a sleepover if you weren't a thing Janis: but you can be my excuse too so do me a solid and make it good Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you're v loved babe and you were before I took the job on Janis: oh yeah, so loved Janis: no doubt end up getting waterboarded for info Janis: #justgirlythings Jimmy: 😂 Janis: it is not funny 😡 Jimmy: a bit Janis: 😑 Janis: swap places with me then Janis: sure they'd welcome that just as much Jimmy: if I wanted an orgy with 'em it'd have happened before now Janis: 🤢 Janis: literally shut up Jimmy: you should've got me to pick you up Janis: in what Janis: your sportscar Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: I've got the 🐎 don't I Jimmy: might've turned it to glue Jimmy: party animal you are Janis: is that what you're thinking then Janis: party? Jimmy: what are you wearing? Janis: 😏 the creep makes a return Janis: wys I should be wearing Janis: bus ain't even here yet so Jimmy: Look down, girl, are you night in ready or night out ready? Janis: I dunno, obviously I've not rolled out club-ready like a nutter Jimmy: stop pissing about and send me a picture 🙄 Janis: ffs alright! Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: [snap] Jimmy: fuck it, let's go out Janis: yeah? Janis: okay Jimmy: a knobhead from work is having people round, I weren't gonna bother but Ian's just got in Jimmy: don't wanna double with him and his missus Janis: definitely not Janis: nothing goals in that Janis: works for me Janis: not such a knobhead he'll have a dresscode, yeah? Jimmy: hot girls get to ignore dresscodes, how don't you know that? Janis: I would've probably put jeans on still Janis: what happens when you're forced from your own home without warning Jimmy: he wears shorts all year round, don't worry, like Janis: not got the legs for it Janis: I understand Jimmy: I'll dress the same as you mate, make it a #mood Jimmy: we're just one of them couples Janis: ha, if I use the # twinning not in reference to her, gracie will deffo cry Janis: worth it just for that Jimmy: there you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: I'm going shop so we ain't empty handed, what do you want? Janis: can't be THAT couple Janis: you want me to tell you I'm easy again 'cos Janis: not fussed Jimmy: my mum would cry, didn't drag me up like that 🙄 Jimmy: 😏😏😏 Janis: such a 💔breaker you Janis: but really, just get more of whatever you want and that'll be fine, I'll get you back when I get there Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: no need to flex rich girl Jimmy: you're a cheap date Jimmy: didn't even stay for icecream or owt earlier Janis: so I'm cheap and easy Janis: yeah, keep digging, like 😏 Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: have you not got a jacket or were you just #posing 'cause you're a massive flirt? Janis: why would I need a jacket when you're handing yours away like a philanthropic chippendale Janis: how dare you imply I was implying anything, also Jimmy: I can't even read them words Jimmy: too northern for that shit tah Jimmy: I'll just grab you one #OMG #soannoying Jimmy: how dare you flirt with me so openly, anyone'd reckon that's what snapchat was invented for or something Janis: Chippendales are SO northern, shut up Janis: I've done my research, I take this seriously, tah Janis: you know, too much nip for Insta, could post it on twitter if you're feeling too special rn Jimmy: I didn't get that far the word before it was well big and tripped me over Jimmy: as for my research the 🐶 ate it, soz Janis: Cute but disappointing Janis: if I was to give you a yelp review Jimmy: she is Jimmy: get used to that Janis: omg Janis: so mean Jimmy: 🐶💔 Janis: We're gonna make a club Janis: get jackets that ain't yours Jimmy: you're so fake Jimmy: couldn't do one fast enough from her before Janis: oh yeah, that's deffo what that was Jimmy: ain't stopped crying 'bout it, the poor pup Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: again, your fault Janis: and you ain't even sorry Janis: poor, poor pup Jimmy: I only take the blame for shit I ain't done for my real girlfriends Janis: plural now Jimmy: past and future, duh Janis: duh indeed Janis: hopeful Janis: it's cute Jimmy: say what you really think, Janet Janis: always do Jimmy: [sends her pic of his outfit] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: I mean Janis: not as good as me but you'll do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🍻🤞 Jimmy: don't let me get as wrecked Jimmy: If I have to call in sick tomorrow an' all, you'll have to pay me Janis: So I'm babysitter Janis: alright Janis: easy Jimmy: I've done it all day, swapsies Janis: not me Jimmy: could've if you'd been here Janis: you reckon Janis: last I remember you was about half 💀💀💀 Jimmy: you're calling yourself high maintenance now? Jimmy: easy a bit ago Janis: just saying Janis: you needed looking after more than me Jimmy: leave it out Janis: why Jimmy: why not be a massive dickhead? Jimmy: up to you that Janis: you wanna play nice? Janis: n'awh Jimmy: you're the one asking me for a favour Jimmy: so you do Janis: nah Janis: I asked for a photo, that's all Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: charming Jimmy: you just said you don't want that Janis: you're very, very annoying Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: but I'm on the bus Jimmy: congrats, mate Jimmy: I know it's beneath you 👑 Janis: piss off Janis: I spend half my life on this fucking bus Jimmy: shouldn't have done your 🐎 in Janis: s'what happens when I'm done w you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: got my headphones but thank you Janis: efforts are always appreciated, boy Jimmy: 😘 don't mention it, babe Jimmy: anything for you obvs Janis: too kind Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: let me know when you're about then Janis: yeah 'course Janis: it's about half an hour so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: damn Janis: how haven't I asked Janis: is my fave barista gonna be there or what Jimmy: ??? Jimmy: man of mystery him Janis: how irritating yet attractive of him Jimmy: I keep telling you, slide into his DMs, girl Jimmy: sort it out Janis: not right now Janis: biding my time Jimmy: probably got a gig anyway 🤩🤩 Janis: exactly Jimmy: if I had anywhere else better to be Janis: what you gonna do eh Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: gutted Jimmy: give us a chance to get in the door before you leave your review Jimmy: bit rude shouting it from a bus window Janis: that's me Janis: got money but no manners Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: 😏 what mine or yours Janis: #transparent Jimmy: weren't speaking for you Jimmy: we ain't that couple Janis: 😶😶 Janis: that couple Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: What? Janis: how much of last night do you remember Janis: 'cos my memory is a bit fucked Jimmy: after I lifted that bottle, I dunno, why? Jimmy: Does it matter? Janis: probably not, no Janis: just Janis: idk Jimmy: Just? Janis: It ain't my usual thing Janis: losing massive chunks of time like that Jimmy: doing shots ain't my usual thing, is it yours? Janis: no Jimmy: none tonight then Janis: not for you, anyway Janis: I don't need to work 💰💸🍀 Jimmy: you ain't doing 'em without me, you dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: fine Janis: be doubly entertaining then Jimmy: 1. full time job holding all that hair back tah and I'm on the clock enough Jimmy: 2. piss off I'm the CG's top employee so goes without saying life and soul of this party Janis: 1. I could put it up, IF I was going to vom but that's so unlikely it's almost an impossibility so Janis: 2. I don't work there so your shop bants will have no effect on me and I'm the one you're trying to please here Jimmy: 1. your kink is so blatant shut up oh my god Jimmy: 2. you'll be pleased by all the drinks I just bought #easy Janis: 1. 😑 Janis: 2. 😑 Janis: do you wanna get me drunk or nah, make up your mind, lad Jimmy: Baby, don't be expressionless, it's 💔 Janis: [pulls stupid face to send him] Janis: ❤🔫 Jimmy: my heart has grown back! and loads of sizes 😍 Janis: #humblebrag Jimmy: send that tweet Janis: ❤ or 🍆 lads, you decide Janis: I'll start a poll Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Why did you fuck off last night, is that in the black hole or what? Janis: I can't remember exactly Janis: just weird fragments that don't quite fit together like I've got it secondhand or something Jimmy: go on Janis: it don't make any sense Janis: but like you said, doubt it matters Jimmy: probably not Janis: I am p sure it weren't 'cos we woke any of your fam up or something so Janis: so don't need to worry Jimmy: that was before and only our kid Jimmy: he always wakes up when I come back Jimmy: if he was even asleep Janis: yeah, I remember that too Janis: did you get him to sleep in the end Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: what? Jimmy: did I get water? If he let me do that I must've Janis: Yeah Janis: 'cos you scared the shit out of me Jimmy: Did I? 😂 Janis: I thought that was earlier but no, yeah Janis: definitely on the sofa Janis: softer than the park Jimmy: You scared me earlier Jimmy: that's why Janis: did I? Jimmy: I was walking and you showed up like 👻🔪🔪 Janis: how mean Janis: sounds legit, I believe you Jimmy: well creepy that was Jimmy: tah Janis: you're the creeper Jimmy: leave that right out Janis: didn't say I hated it Jimmy: didn't say you liked it Janis: what's it to you Jimmy: nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: there we go then Jimmy: what kind of picture do you need? Janis: just one to prove we're somewhere doing something Janis: I was purposely vague about our plans in case you were already out or something Jimmy: 👌 Janis: no way I was sleeping in a room with Mia in Janis: actually end up 👻 Jimmy: you can stay at mine if you want, she'll probably use your pillow for black magic Jimmy: or spooning Jimmy: bit rude of us not to lend her a sharpie so she could draw your face on Jimmy: turn the bus around like Janis: 😂 Janis: don't, it's too real and it makes me feel uncomfortable Janis: defs looking for hair and fingernails as we speak Jimmy: How haven't I drawn you and sold it to her for 💰💰💰💰 Jimmy: going soft me Janis: always on the clock, babe Janis: it'll kill your creativity/soul Janis: 💁 Jimmy: I bet you real cash she'd eat it 🐍 Jimmy: what are the calories of paper and pencil? Janis: anything over negative is too high, but she'd get the pleasure of puking me up that way so Janis: it's a must Jimmy: can't compete with such romance, fuck me 💕 Janis: well she gets to fuck everyone so only fair Jimmy: not me Jimmy: or you Janis: ❄❄ Jimmy: your sister 100% Janis: 🤢 Janis: disgusting Jimmy: trying to get you to vom 'cause you're so into it and I'm that kind of boyfriend 🤞 Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: easier ways, I'm sure Janis: but know you're an 🎨 Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: 💘 Janis: no shots, remember Jimmy: nowts a shot unless it's in a shot glass Janis: yeah, that's how that works Janis: 😏 Jimmy: means I have everything to play with and more space to mix it Janis: oh god Jimmy: bigger measures for you to down too Janis: I'm babysitting you, remember Jimmy: You just might die trying though, Juliet Janis: behave Jimmy: or what? Janis: find out Jimmy: alright Janis: alright Jimmy: is your bus anywhere near yet, it's fucking miserable out here Janis: you don't wanna wait inside Jimmy: weren't given the nod for that one Jimmy: Ian threw his weight about and me out Jimmy: earnt himself some 😍😍😍 Janis: Gross Janis: wtf Jimmy: 🎻 and 🤢 Janis: well, we ain't that far Janis: you should get a head start on the drinks if you ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: is he gonna let you back in later Janis: you could come back to mine but you would have to pretend to have crazy hot sex with me if the coven is still lurking so Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Cass'll post a key through Janis: 👍 Janis: gotta stick together vs the 'rents Jimmy: we can't be as late back though Janis: yeah Janis: whenever's fine Jimmy: you're easy, I get it Janis: shut up 😏 Janis: the favour is the alibi, anything else is just extra Jimmy: most of my wage is tips, I'm gonna keep you out all night now Jimmy: habit Janis: so above and beyond, babe 💕 Jimmy: 💰🐮💕 Jimmy: can you remember what we drew? should go check out the finished masterpiece #🎨 Jimmy: got a mental image of you sucking on the end of my sharpie there but otherwise nowt much Janis: Filth Janis: 😂 Janis: when we find out it's as intelligible as smeared shit on the walls, like but seemed like a masterpiece at the time Jimmy: when you reckon its 🥇 but it ain't even 🥉 Jimmy: #tragic Janis: hopefully we didn't sign it 😱 Jimmy: shit I probably did do! Jimmy: cut my hand off instead of my ear so I can't be that dickhead Jimmy: still post it to you though 💌 Janis: this country ain't quite THAT religious Janis: but romantic Janis: I'll keep it in a jar Jimmy: I won't tell you I'm ambidextrous and it's another scam, that'll take the shine right off the gesture Jimmy: and that's witchcraft in the north if it ain't here Jimmy: gotta take the secret to my grave naturally Janis: you are SUCH a show-off Janis: but I'm left-handed so we can get burnt together Jimmy: don't be a HATER when I'm trusting you with my secrets Jimmy: obvs you are #evil twin Jimmy: so romantic though #datenight 🔥💕 Janis: it's just REALLY obvious you want me to ask what them hands do Jimmy: if you need to ask I'm not fake dating you hard enough Jimmy: the answer is obviously 🚬 and ✎ Janis: yeah yeah, I'll study when I need to Janis: you're easy too Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm well hard 💪 Janis: 😏 Janis: mhmm Janis: if anyone asks Jimmy: you ran away from them questions mate Jimmy: 💀👑 will be in my DMs asking herself Janis: well excuse me for not sticking around to stroke your ego and quench their thirst Janis: not interested in either soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: what better review than I gotta run to you soon as your mentioned? Janis: think on, boy Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I never said you were bad at this Janis: not directly anyway Janis: you can say I'm good, go on Jimmy: You're SO good baby 💕😍💘 Janis: 😂 Janis: 😩💦 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: so in the party mood now Janis: and not a moment too soon, just pulling up, like Jimmy: [waves cos let's say he went there cos sick of sitting on his doorstep] Janis: [snaps a pic 'cos #goals and gets off the bus like 😏 'don't have to convince the driver how in love we are do we, 'cos I can run at you if you're feeling it?'] Jimmy: [throws a jacket at her cos always and a distraction from how much he'd love that] Janis: [when you appraise it like you've been really fashion and you're not sure but obvs you put it on with a grin and a 'tah'] Jimmy: [🙄 but a playful one so also 😏] Janis: ['can you lead the way this time or am I your personal satnav again?] Jimmy: [playfully dragging her off by the arm cos actually does know where he's going but gotta take her to the pub or something first anyway cos you can't show up this early] Janis: [lowkey happy nerds always] Jimmy: [throws her snacks he bought for her when he bought the drinks cos she didn't stay for much pizza and he don't know if she got to eat at hers before she ran away #considerate] Janis: ['#feeder' but nudges him like thanks and noms] Jimmy: [nudges her back and gives her his phone so she can reply to Mia again cos fave] Janis: [when you 🙄 but not playfully at her lack of shame lmao] Jimmy: [give it up gurl Grace fancied him anyways so #girlcode] Janis: [always hitting her with those exclusive selfies lol] Jimmy: [love that, going harder than you need to always] Janis: [shudders 'if you ever go there, actually got no respect for you' Jimmy: ['if I ever go there, kill me. Tah. Don't wanna live without my dick when it shrivels and falls off'] Janis: [lols and does a 💔 with her hands like poor baby 'I'll put you out of your misery, mate; what are friends for, after-all'] Jimmy: [nods his thanks and offers her a 🚬] Janis: [shakes her head but takes it okay gurl] Jimmy: [lights it for her as per before his own even cos pecking order] Janis: [tips her imaginary hat to him] Jimmy: [walking and smoking as standard] Janis: ['So, on a scale of manager to Pete, where does this one fall? Need to know how small to make my talk, like'] Jimmy: ['if manager Dave is 0, this lad is like a 2' does the 💔 with his hands like unlucky] Janis: [makes ott disappointed face 'damn, weather and sports it is, okay'] Jimmy: [makes an OTT pouty face to hide the fact he's actually jealous because in my head this lad is 'cute' but in like a really basic way haha] Janis: [pinches his cheeks like a grandmother] Jimmy: [playfight moment] Janis: [always a moment, don't mind them] Jimmy: [let her win though cos we know its real] Janis: [irl 💪] Jimmy: [dramatic bow down cos he's a nerd] Janis: ['you're welcome' 😏] Jimmy: [gives her a bottle of whatever like shhh] Janis: ['Slainte' and knocking it back 'cos start as you mean to go on] Jimmy: [giving her like a steady on kinda look but is 😏 for #bants not concern vibe cos can't say anything actually cos he's as bad we know] Janis: ['don't worry, I'll keep it from you' and not passing it and another swig with a grin 'cos best babysitter ever] Jimmy: [takes it cos gotta prove you're still 💪 and takes a swig with a cheeky wink and it's hotter than it needs to be thank you boy] Janis: [when you can't even be mad but you have a go at pretending still 'cos otherwise] Jimmy: [pass it back like love me again] Janis: [just having a time, don't mind them] Jimmy: [realistically how far can this pub be so enjoy yourselves in these streets while you can lads] Janis: [also where you putting these bottles lads] Jimmy: [let's hope he has some kind of bag with him for the unopened ones at least cos can't show up empty handed] Janis: [my boo is horrified lmao] Jimmy: [he had snacks too so he weren't carrying all that #justsayin] Janis: [you silly, also get a round in girl] Jimmy: [when this bit will probs be better than the party lbr] Janis: [ahh shit house parties, perfect bonding ground 😈] Jimmy: [we know you can make it look fun for the socials kids] Janis: [when she defs would've got him something and coke so she could pretend it was just coke for a hot sec lmao] Jimmy: [such a cute nerd move he'd have to lol] Janis: [when he's shamelessly got a cute laugh bye] Jimmy: [when you make her play darts or pool or whatever cos you lost the playfight and you wanna win] Janis: [always down for a competition] Jimmy: [but she should win again so he's a sulky bitch] Janis: come on, be my mate Janis: [kicking, but gently lol, under the table] Jimmy: [is 😒 and ignoring like hmmm just gonna drank and play with this beermat] Janis: [kicks a bit harder like oi] Janis: you're rude Jimmy: [gives her a look like what?] Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 😑 Janis: another one or Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: missed the please Janis: work on the thank you for when I'm back 👍 Janis: [goes] Jimmy: soz mum Janis: don't make it weird Jimmy: like she were in the room there then Jimmy: it was weird Janis: 😒 Janis: shut up Jimmy: it was rude a bit ago when I tried that Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: don't have to Janis: if I'm a mum I'm always right 'cos I say so Jimmy: if you're impersonating mine you ain't Janis: I'm not going method Janis: and if that's a #kinkunlocked I gotta go like Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're making it weirder than I went for Janis: then shh Jimmy: I get it, telling me what to do is one of yours Jimmy: I wouldn't have reckoned on you as that predictable but alright Janis: piss off Janis: I don't wanna be your mommy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [come back with that drink huffily and just be on your phone] Jimmy: [down it cos that's the mood] Janis: [awks again] Jimmy: [gdi Jimothy you're always making the vibe off] Jimmy: [just on socials putting in that werk like you're love's young dream for her though cos as close to a sorry as we're getting rn is when its working and the fans are loving your efforts so bae's getting all the notifications] Janis: nice work Jimmy: [shrugs and goes to get more drinks like here's a real peace offering] Janis: [nods head like tah and does small smile but genuine] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling back cos she's so cute bye] Janis: [just showing him all the highkey responses and loling] Jimmy: [take a moment to bond over how ridiculous everyone is like] Janis: [just like why do they care so much] Jimmy: [we know its cos you two walking around looking like models] Janis: [#hotcouplealert] Jimmy: [gotta do the jj love heart doodle everywhere they go soz to the tabletop but not] Janis: [snap that honey] Jimmy: [also take a moment to text Cass and make sure she's alright boy] Jimmy: [okay but Cass sending him a pic he drew of jj on the swing together cos she's like why are you gross but you upload that art to your insta because #fans] Jimmy: {Bobby drew it not Jimmy lol] Janis: ['He's so cute'] Jimmy: ['And talented. Made you look cute an' all' boy stop playing you think she's hot af] Janis: [makes 'oh please' noise, 'gives you a run for your money, deffo'] Jimmy: [kicks her like she did to him earlier but is 😏 not 😒] Janis: [squeezes his arm in a pisstakey supportive way like 'it'll be okay, babe'] Jimmy: [flicks some drink at her face like you did to me the other day] Janis: ['you want this whole drink on your head or what? but not actually mad 'cos always here for the flirty bants over awks any day] Jimmy: ['or what' because always gonna say that, giving her such a LOOK excuse you Jimothy you're too sober for this] Janis: [just a LOOK back] Jimmy: [when he just leans across the table and it's such a kiss moment but instead he wipes her face for her with the sleeve of whatever hoodie he has on but that's even more intimate so how dare you tbh] Janis: [when you're so 😳 you're like gotta go loo bye] Jimmy: [just shamelessly watch her go we all know it] Jimmy: get on a move on, we're going after Janis: alright, piss police Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: not a kink before you say it tah Janis: yeah, how defensive you were dead sold that one, mate 👍 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: it's a bit of a fucking walk and you're the only one getting a boner for exercise round here, Julie Janis: I already knew you couldn't keep up, babe Janis: didn't need to admit it Janis: I'll go slow for you 💕 Janis: [comes out like ready] Jimmy: stay here and take it slow with the barman if you're gonna be a dickhead Jimmy: [is walking ahead like excuse you I'm so 💪] Janis: [hangs back like she's pondering but then shrugs and follows being loud like 'He's not my type so shoot your shot if you're feeling it'] Jimmy: [mimes a 🎻] Janis: ['Don't be sad, with no competition from me, you stand a chance now' encouraging 👍 up] Jimmy: [ignoring cos so mature] Janis: [walking annoyingly close to him like speeding up when he does and slowing down when he do like you can't ignore me boy] Jimmy: [🚬 without offering her one like yeah I can] Janis: [just a look and noise like wow, it be like that, yeah?] Jimmy: [does the dramatic look around like oh did I hear something cos nerd] Janis: ['I friggin' hate you, you know'] Jimmy: [gives her a bemused look cos no you don't] Janis: [snatches that 🚬 so rudely] Jimmy: [lights another for himself with an OTT sigh] Janis: ['what you being a dickhead for?'] Jimmy: ['what are you always trying to pimp me out for?'] Janis: ['you what?'] Jimmy: [I said, what are you always trying to pimp me out to the locals for? If I was #dtf I wouldn't be fake dating you, would I?'] Janis: ['Erm, obviously, it was a joke; if you needed or wanted a wingman, I ain't interested, trust'] Jimmy: ['so hilarious you'] Janis: ['Jesus, sorry, forget I said anything'] Jimmy: [shugs like consider my memory erased] Janis: [when you start walking ahead but only a bit 'cos you don't know where you're going so can't fully walk off, like] Jimmy: [when you obvs catch her up and are walking in step like you can't ignore me either this goes both ways] Janis: [the most exasperated look] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I must] Janis: ['Don't even'] Jimmy: [don't even what?' he's so annoying omg] Janis: ['Stop it, I swear to GOD'] Jimmy: [gives her a look that's stop what? cos not gonna say it but such a twat still] Janis: ['fuck this' under her breath and actual walking off] Jimmy: [not gonna let her so following 'what was it you said? be my mate, come on'] Janis: ['you don't wanna be mates' and looking ahead keeping walking] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't wanna be my mum you're about as determined to fuck off'] Janis: [just turning around like what but not actually saying it] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna go home and neither do I, so let's just go to the party, yeah?'] Janis: [shrugs 'whatever'] Jimmy: [drags her back in the right direction but really gently] Janis: ['this don't mean we're friends'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna be friends with you' cos ain't that the truth] Janis: [just trying not to look so hurt] Jimmy: ['And I am a dickhead, there's your answer for why I was being one'] Janis: ['I don't care'] Jimmy: ['why'd you ask then?'] Janis: ['Didn't say I didn't at the time, it's irrelevant now'] Jimmy: [hits her with a shrug of his own] Janis: [nods like exactly] Jimmy: [gives her a look like wtf is that meant to mean as if he don't know] Janis: ['how much further?] Jimmy: [tells her, let's pretend not that far but far enough they gotta walk awkwardly for a bit longer] Janis: [picks up pace] Jimmy: [does a bit but not that much cos unfit af] Janis: ['gimme the bag'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like um no] Janis: [gives him a ffs look back 'give it here or hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [goes slower cos that bitch aka me] Janis: ['I might not wanna go home but I can still think of better things to do, seriously'] Jimmy: ['Go and do 'em then'] Janis: ['I tried to but you stopped me and I gave you a second chance for some fucking reason but fuck this now'] Jimmy: ['We're pissing distance from this lad's back garden, stop being a knobhead'] Janis: ['You ain't thinking this through, why the hell would we wanna be somewhere we've gotta fake all of this a moment longer?'] Jimmy: ['why do we have to fake owt? You wanted one pic, we've uploaded shitloads'] Janis: ['Um, because it'll look fucking weird if we ain't couply when everyone at this party knows we're meant to be'] Jimmy: ['Mia treats 'em like staff they ain't gonna gossip with her like besties'] Janis: ['You go in and do what you like then, I've got no reason to be here'] Jimmy: ['there's reasons'] Janis: ['yeah' purposefully sounding ambiguous to as if that was a question or nah] Jimmy: ['Are you gonna make me say 'em or what?'] Janis: [when you're just like 'ha' 'cos clearly not happening and just start walking with again like alright] Jimmy: [give her an I hate you look that so isn't] Janis: ['I got it, yeah, now can you fucking light up, I need to smoke before going in there'] Jimmy: [does because it's his job 5ever] Janis: [just smoking your feelings lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: ['why don't you wanna be my friend?'] Jimmy: ['why do you wanna be my friend?'] Janis: ['why are you incapable of answering a question straight?'] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't care why do you care so fucking much?'] Janis: ['if I ask a question, I want an answer, simple'] Jimmy: ['what if it's not?' fucked yourself then, ain't you, mate'] Janis: ['that ain't the point, I'm asking what you think, what you know, whatever the fuck the context is, I don't ask you so you can turn it around on me like I don't know all that about me already'] Jimmy: ['the point is, rich girl, this ain't your world, your parents just paid for a bigger house on a nicer bit of it, and I don't properly work for you sweetheart, so I can do owt I like. Better yet speech is free and I can say whatever the fuck I wanna an' all.'] Janis: ['yeah? and what are you saying then, Jimmy? fuck all. so if you'll excuse me-' and bowling inside like you know this lad personally but you know he ain't gonna mind] Jimmy: [staying outside as if that makes a bit of difference or any real deliberate point other than you can't be around the bae] Jimmy: Alright, what I'm saying is I don't wanna do this anymore Jimmy: deal's off Janis: Alright Janis: fine Janis: thanks for telling me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: any reason why beyond the obvious or Jimmy: why are the reasons any of your business? Jimmy: in the fine print was it, that Janis: because I was in it too and I'd tell you if I just switched out of nowhere with no warning Jimmy: figure it out Janis: 👍 Jimmy: I just want out, we can do it however you like Jimmy: take the night and sort it Janis: wow generous Jimmy: that's me Janis: I don't need time, it's easy Janis: I'll get with this lad, you can 'find' out Jimmy: I'm not making you look bad that's not part of it Janis: How do you reckon on making me look good Jimmy: He's a fucking 2, we can do more than that for you, like Janis: You wanna vet the lad I fake cheat with Janis: that's not mental at all Jimmy: 'cause all of this has been dead sane Janis: yeah, and you want out so you can quit acting like you remotely give a shit Jimmy: calm it down Jimmy: it don't look great for me if you fake fuck my ugly co-workers Janis: welll I DON'T care Janis: you said I can do it however I like Jimmy: I reckoned on you being smart when I said that is why Janis: nah you reckoned on me caring to make you look good too, why should I Jimmy: it was the deal if nowt else Janis: the deal is off, by your request Jimmy: you're such a massive dickhead Janis: you Jimmy: you don't get it Janis: what don't I get Jimmy: what do you get? Janis: piss off if you're starting that again Janis: came in here to get away from that Jimmy: you can't answer it 'cause the answer is nowt Jimmy: but you think we can be mates Janis: and you do? alright Janis: you don't answer anything so glass houses Janis: pot kettle, whatever else Jimmy: 👌 Janis: bye Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: wanna be more specific Jimmy: Do I need to? Janis: yep Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Are you gonna drag that twat into it or what? Janis: not that I owe you shit Janis: but I'll pick someone you don't work with Jimmy: or think of a better idea Janis: it's a great idea Jimmy: How? Janis: you get the sympathy vote and to be mr good guy and I get to show I don't give a shit so they can miss me with the told you it wouldn't lasts and whatever else they're dying to Janis: win win Jimmy: if I wanted a popularity 🏆 instead of being left alone Janis: your personality will put 'em off give it 5 minutes Jimmy: piss off Janis: you know I'm right Jimmy: I know you're fuming Janis: about what, exactly Janis: being stupid enough to ever agree to this, yeah, I am actually Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: whatever Jimmy: [i'm using the weather and saying it's just started to rain heavy so he has to come inside or else he never will] Janis: [chatting to some rando and trying not to look his way even though of course you notice] Jimmy: [when you go up to her to give her a drink cos you're jealous af and you want said random to fuck off] Janis: [when you look at it like you've never seen a drink before in your life 'you trying to poison me now?' whoever this lad is should run 'cos no need to be involved in this drama] Jimmy: [lowkey force her to take it so rude 'drown your sorrows, girl'] Janis: [that's deffo getting thrown at you like I'm sorry boy] Jimmy: ['when you have to go find a towel now if you didn't before RIP to the bathroom with you] Janis: [when you have to either go outside or find somewhere in this gaff to be alone 'cos people love drama and would be being so annoying] Jimmy: [100% gonna look for her when he's done though cos king of the mixed message if she's outside I'm gonna lol cos you're getting wet again boy] Janis: [probably 'cos realistically how big is this house that there's a room no other fucker is in lmao] Jimmy: [unlucky dickhead] Janis: [wherever the nearest available shelter is, whether that's a tree or a bus stop, whatever] Jimmy: [either way #mood and he's finding her there, popping up v unwanted] Janis: [when you see him coming and it's like literally wtf boy 'I swear down, Jimmy, do not'] Jimmy: [when you just kiss her as hard as you fucking can because this is over and wtf do you have to lose and you're thinking you'll just walk away after okay boy well done truly you messy slag] Janis: [when you go for it even though you reckon you definitely shouldn't now because you feel something so got to chase it 'til you can't no more] Jimmy: [the most ridiculously intense make out of all time casually happening until he breaks it off cos when there's too much drama at school you gotta walk awaaaaaaaaaaay] Janis: Pussy Jimmy: 💀💀💔💀💔 Jimmy: brutal Janis: fuck you Jimmy: you wanted an answer so bad, there it is Jimmy: take it Janis: no, as per with you it was just more questions Jimmy: might've been able to find some answers in the bottom of that bottle you chucked at me Jimmy: so hasty you Janis: should've kept it then Janis: you need it more than me Jimmy: I've got others Janis: I'm so pleased for you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Stop talking to me Jimmy: stop talking to me Janis: gladly Jimmy: 👍

[a-goats-tin-can]

Alrighty since some of you are interested....

Yesterday I went on a date with a guy from my Biology class (a Virgo whom I will refer to as C) and it was honestly so great, I get giddy whenever I think about it.

This past Tuesday I was talking to C after class and telling him that he had to go see Thor: Ragnarok and was just about to ask if he wanted to go with me to see it when this other guy in the class (who isn’t the most socially perceptive person..) jumped into the conversation and told C that he’d take him to see the movie and I was just standing there like

THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST STOLE MY DATE!!

But I wasn’t having any of that so I jumped in and was like “mind if I tag along too?” and so the 3 of us planned to see the movie on Friday but I was highkey still bitter that the other guy was going cause I was like I WANTED A DATE WITH C!!! ALOOONNEEEE!

But then C and I were texting the next day and he told me that he was also about to ask me if I wanted to go see the movie with him and then asked me if I wanted the other guy to go with us and I wanted to say NO I JUST WANT IT TO BE THE TWO OF US but instead I said that I didn’t really know the guy but that I’d feel bad if I said I didn’t want him to go, which was true but like I didn’t want him to go lmao

So he and I texted and talked a lot the rest of the week leading up to the movie and by then we were also planning to go get this really really good chicken soup in town that he’d never tried before after the movie, just the 2 of us, so I was much less bitter about the other guy crashing the first part of our date.

So we got into the theater and the other guy was already there sitting in the last row in the corner when the theater was virtually empty and C and I were like Um?? and then the 3 of us moved over to the middle of that row.

During the previews C and I were talking and flirting and shit and wow can I just say that I was on my A game last night like damn I’m impressed with myself rn tbh I don’t think I’ve ever been that charming in my life 

We also spoke a few times during the movie at particularly hilarious moments

(travel time interlude!)

So while we were waiting for our order that we got to-go, we went outside and talked and got to know each other a bit more and at one point he just kind of paused and looked at me and asked if I have a boyfriend and I was like “pFFT NO I’ve never had a boyfriend” and he was SHOOK to learn that he was like “how?? you’re so amazing and you’re beautiful” and I was like “well guys tend to be intimidated by me” and he was like “because you’re smart??” and I laughed and told him no it’s because i’ve got a resting bitch face that could kill a man, which he vehemently disagreed with me about. 

I also then learned that he’s 21 and then it was my turn to be shook because holy fuck I was on a date with a 21 YEAR OLD AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT

After some more talking he just smiled really big and wrapped his arms around me and was like “I can’t believe that something like this could happen” and I just OKAY CAN I JUST SAY THAT I DO NOT BLUSH EASILY. AT ALL. BUT THE WHOLE 7 AND A HALF HOURS WE WERE TOGETHER HE KEPT MAKING ME BLUSH LIKE OH MY GOD 

Then I got a text from one of my very good friends who got home that same day and she was asking if I wanted to go to our high school to watch the football team’s playoff game and I was like sure! cause I miss her but at the same time I didn’t want to end my date with C cause I was having a really really good time and wow he is so incredible and wonderful and sweet and I just :’)))

so I asked him if he wanted to go to the game with me and he quickly agreed because he didn’t want the date to be over either so we got our soup and left for my old stomping grounds.........he got lost on the way over there, which was funny.

(travel time interlude pt. 2!)

Since I got there before he did and I was beginning to panic because I was realizing that I really like this guy and I don’t know how to process emotions and I felt like I was going to puke from all the feelings I was feeling, I FaceTimed my best friend and word vomited the whole time. She encouraged me to continue being myself and to just breathe and such. She also was like “OOH YOU GUYS SHOULD WALK IN HOLDING HANDS!” to which I yelled NO I AM NERVOUS AND MY HANDS SWEAT WHEN I’M NERVOUS

but then he found his way to the campus so I ran over to meet him and as soon as I saw him (this is cheesy how gross) I just calmed down and felt good again. 

So we were walking over to the stands and I cracked a joke and he high fived me and then he was like “oh my god Katie your hands are freezing, let me warm them up” and held my hand and I was like OH MY GOD A SLICK BOI HERE

(side note, I am leaving a lot of things out so that I can try to keep this post shorter)

We got there right after the game started and we didn’t really pay attention at all because we were just talking the whole time and he was so touchy (in a really sweet and affectionate way and we all know how affection deprived I am) and I loved it and he kept playing with my hair and brushing it out of my face and he kept telling me how amazing, incredible, beautiful, adorable, cute, and funny I am and that he loves my laugh and my eyes and my personality and all this sweet stuff

His eyes are really expressive too and at some point during the game I could just see in his eyes as he fell head over heels for me, like I’m really not exaggerating. He even told me that he wants me to meet his parents and his brothers and his adorable baby nephew and talking about future dates we could go on and ow my heart :’))))

We paid attention to the game when we realized there was literally one minute left and it was really stressful and intense and I almost started crying tbh but MY BOYS WON AND I’M REALLY PROUD OF THEM! I also saw a lot of my children who are now seniors at the game and I almost cried again because a lot of them I hadn’t seen since before I graduated in June

Anyways so C and I left and headed for the parking lot and we held hands the whole time and talked about how we both love stargazing and he asked if I’d want to go stargazing with him some time and on the inside I was freaking out a lot because that’s my goddamn dream date but on the outside I only freaked out a little and said that I’d love to

We got to my car and he kissed my hand and he looked at me and was like “I want to kiss you, but I won’t tonight”

and I agreed because I GOT REALLY NERVOUS BECAUSE I REALLY WANTED TO KISS HIM BUT I HAVEN’T EXACTLY HAD MY FIRST KISS AND I GOT SCARED BECAUSE AS MUCH AS I CRAVE AFFECTION AND EMOTIONAL INTIMACY I ALSO FEAR IT

He and I stood outside my car for a few minutes and he was like “I don’t want to leave; I don’t want to say goodbye” and so I said “Then we’ll say see you soon” and he agreed to that and gave me one last hug (of many that day/night) and walked off to his car, after telling me to drive safely and such.

It was then that I realized my chemistry teacher was parked right next to me and he was like “Hi Katie~” all teasing like and I was like “shit fuck outta here Jared”

and then I drove home with a huge smile on my face the whole time

and that was our 7 and a half hour first date. it was rad.

[skold]

this post is Marina’s List Of Favorite and/or Iconic Music Videos

this could also be subtitled as: if you truly want to understand me as a person, watch these videos because it’ll answer a lot of questions

it’s gonna be a long one so i’ll pop it under a cut

alright we goin by artist then chronological

AIDEN

knife blood nightmare - this is iconic for me simply bc i rly wanted to look like wil in this video so bad in 6th grade.

die romantic - WHAT A BOP. i used to do my black eyeshadow like wil in this video too lmao

ALL TIME LOW

poppin champagne - because blonde alex and also?? honestly?? what a wild video. this is truly late 00s oversaturated pop punk at its finest

i feel like dancin - i’m not the biggest fan of this record or even this song in general but this is like, quintessential all time low to me video-wise. like. it’s everything i want from an all time low video.

ARCHITECTS

follow the water - or as sam carter says, follow the wah-uh. first of all i love that this is in a church. second of all when will i get to go to an architects show this lit here in the states

heartburn - bc they all look pretty. ok. aesthetically on point as well.

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

beast and the harlot - i don’t always bop this song but when i do, the whole cul de sac does too. no but really this was so influential to middle school me i wanted nothing more than a boyfriend who looked like zacky or jimmy and whatever eyeshadows zacky was wearing in this clip

BLINK 182

i miss you - the video that inspired this post. THE AESTHETIQUE. 20′s inspired romantigoth film noir. i don’t yell about this music video enough.

BRING ME THE HORIZON

chelsea smile - it’s literally just a house part video but the song literally defines the year 2009 for me. emetophobia warning at 1:08

it never ends - this video got mad shit but i love it. pretty heavy gore throughout this video

alligator blood - CREEPY ASS AESTHETIC SHIT!!!! i live for it. 16 y/o me had it so bad for matt nicholls and him getting tied up and violated was like, god tier for me

visions - more creepy aesthetic shit. the videos on there is a hell were underrated

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

hey john what’s your name again? - i gotta throw this one in just bc this hurls my ass right back to the year 2008. that bible imagery. those haircuts. it was a better time for music

html rules d00d - THIS SONG STILL SLAPS LMAO DON’T READ ME

ELISSA FRANCESCHI

salt - i’m not crying you’re crying!!! how did anne and christian franceschi manage to spawn two flawless and talented siblings!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I DIE

ebolarama - it’s a performance video in a roller rink what more could you want

wanderlust - you’ve probably caught on to the fact that i love creepy aesthetic shit.

decayin with the boys - THIS VIDEO HAS ME HOWLING. there are too many good moments to list here but the personal highlight is the dude admiring the lesbians making out, then he turns and admires they gays making out at about the 1:30 mark. also the jenga dream sequence. there’s a dick in this video, just a heads up. and a whole bootyass. i love andy williams. mild emetophobia tw at 2:30

FOXY SHAZAM

a dangerous man - eric nally’s screeching was the soundtrack of 2008

i like it - the chorus of this song is literally just “that’s the biggest black ass i’ve ever seen and i like it” and i have nothing more to say

holy touch - it’s a performance video but it’s. different. i really don’t wanna ruin this by saying too much about it. that’s just kinda how foxy shazam were. this song is a fucking banger. yes, they did have a trumpet player in the official lineup.

FRNKIERO ANDTHE CELLABRATION

joyriding - another performance video that’s. different. lmao. aesthetically perfect

GOOD CHARLOTTE 

lifestyles of the rich and famous -  the proletariat banger we weren’t ready for in 2002, but we’re ready now.

girls and boys - old people being punk rock. that’s all.

predictable - i SPECIFICALLY remember watching this on the good charlotte website the day this dropped. THE EARLY 2000S BAD CG IS REAL. i was literally ten years old but i somehow Felt every word of that spoken bridge, man. WHEN THE LITTLE GIRL GIVES JOEL THE ROSE AND IT TURNS BLACK i deadass thought that was so fucking dope y’all

i just wanna live - ignoring the irony of joel whining about being famous, this video had THE MEMES. 

GREEN DAY

longview - iconic simply by virtue of being their first video.

when i come around - ask me about my favorite songs of All Time and i’ll probably mention this one. it’s still great nowadays. i love all the shots of berkeley.

brain stew/jaded - this is such a great piece of art lmao the fucking. sludgy feeling of brain stew going into the chaos of jaded is great on the record, but even better in video form going from being stoned in sepia to tripping acid in an oversaturated cluttered space

walking contradiction - comedy gold

hitchin a ride - creepy weirdness and an iconic bassline. also mike dirnt looks fine as hell in this video

minority - i’m running out of ways to explain that a video is iconic to me purely bc of how important the song was to me at a given time lmao.

american idiot - is there anything i can truly say about this video? it was perfect in 2004, it’s perfect in 2017. uncomfortably relevant. epilepsy warning for strobe lighting effects in the second half

holiday - technically this was released before blvd, but since it chronologically precedes blvd in the story, i’m putting it first. this is like 90% here for the bridge section y’all. fucking iconic. i wore a fedora on the first day of sixth grade bc tre cool wore one in this video. not my proudest fashion moment. emetophobia warning at 1:56 but them playing EVERY character in the bar scene is perfection

boulevard of broken dreams - ah yes, 2005′s most overplayed song. i could not escape this song. every time the intro started everyone would just look at me bc i was The Green Day Chick. this video is aesthetically perfect though. shout out to mike dirnt’s jawline in profile

HOZIER

work song - first of all, this song makes me cry. second of all, the video is dreamy as fuck. it gives me irl chills. i love the choreography so much. the whole vibe is very modern southern gothic. and it’s incredibly intimate feeling without being... sexual or vulgar, i guess. 

IN THIS MOMENT

adrenalize - first of all i’m gay. second of all i’m gay. this video is decidedly nsfw

whore - aesthetically pleasing. chris motionless being subby is the real highlight here

sick like me - again, it’s here for the aesthetic.

big bad wolf - also aesthetic but THIS MAKEUP LOOK. maria’s makeup look in this video is actually literally my aesthetic goal. epilepsy warning for strobe light effects

sex metal barbie - say it with me: aesthetic. i also love this one bc the lyrics are largely lifted from people talking shit about maria on the internet, shaming her for being a woman with sexuality and agency, so fuck yes i support it. mild body horror warning for this one

JOHN 5

making monsters - john’s videos are mostly performance based but this one is so cute lmao. where do i cop a j5 action figure

LADY GAGA

paparazzi - i’m only including the RLY vital gaga videos here and the full version of paparazzi is her best work imo......

bad romance - .......but bad romance is a close second.

telephone - i can’t not include this one though. the collab of the decade.

LINKIN PARK

one step closer - i think this was the first linkin park video i saw Back In The Day......... it was 2 heavy 4 baby me at the time lmao but nowadays it’s one of my fave lp songs. the video is super corny let’s be real but it was 2000

numb - this song is so fucking emo but i love it. the video is like peak emo too. i swear the main girl in this video was like my fashion icon at the time. layered tank tops, ripped loose jeans, oversized hoodies and jackets. i wanted her hair so bad lmao

what i’ve done - this video is really visually solid. i thought this was like the Deepest Shit in middle school lmao

MARILYN MANSON

sweet dreams (are made of this) - THE CINNAMON TOPOGRAPHY!!! god i have no complaints about this video except that twiggy is in it. visual fx?? dope. wardrobe?? dope. location?? dope. manson in the wedding dress?? dope. unsanitary warning for the later half of the video bc manson gets pooped on by birds lmao

tourniquet - one of my fave vocal performances by manson tbh. i prefer this one of the two videos floria did w/ manson. 

long hard road out of hell - femme manson and religious imagery need i elaborate

the dope show - the first manson video i ever saw. i was... so creeped out lmao. LOOKS ON LOOKS ON LOOKS. john 5 lookin like a snack in this one

i don’t like the drugs (but the drugs like me) - this is probably the most heavy-handed manson has ever been with the christ allegory lmao and yet......... i love it. also shout out to manson and rose’s dogs bug and uncle fester for guest starring. body horror tw here

coma white - basically a flawless music video i have nothing to say here that isn’t already said by the video itself

disposable teens - everybody looks great in this one except twiggy fuck twiggy. i actually love the mtv version of this video too, which is all performance, but i can’t seem to find it rn??

the fight song - one of my fave manson looks. those boooooots tho. the gloooovessssss. i’m gross let me live

tainted love - sorry to send y’all to vimeo for this one but i couldn’t find one on youtube that didn’t look like it was filmed with a potato or watermarked. y’all slept on the genius of this video tbh

mobscene - hello it is me gaogfucker666. 

this is the new shit - still me, gaogfucker666. this video feels misinterpreted too honestly

(s)AINT (director’s cut) - specifically the director’s cut bc more tim skold in a dress and boots smoking a cigarette. this video is seriously fucking nsfw. needles, drugs, sexual content, vomit etc watch with caution pls

personal jesus - i love this glam rock look so much. tim looks so good in this he never wore the look again bc he knew he looked so good we could never handle it a second time.

putting holes in happiness - I CAN’T FIND the extended version with tim’s full solo and i wanna scream. but. here’s the official version

say10 (short) - i really fucking wish he’d compounded off this for the official say10 video, beheaded orange man or not. just the verse. it’s so good. moody and creepy and AHHH.

we know where you fucking live - heed the warning at the beginning lmao. i honestly loved this video. i know some people thought it was edgy but i rly rly don’t see that. it’s offensive and obscene yeah but it doesn’t have that edgelord feel, as much as i love to call him an edgelord.

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

reincarnate - old school horror vibes!!! as a Humble Fetishist of Boots and Gloves, this is a great video. also this is one of those songs where i Feel the lyrics for real

eternally yours - THE COLORS!!! THE FUCKIN IN A COFFIN!!!! i have nothing more to say

MOTLEY CRUE

looks that kill - please watch this corny ass fuckin 1983 ass hair metal ass music video. please. i’m tryna add more shout at the devil era nikki sixx vibes to my wardrobe tbh

wild side - i love a late 80s arena performance video ok also where do i cop nikki’s shirt

dr. feelgood - i will always credit this as one of the songs that made me want to play bass tbh

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

vampires will never hurt you - too emo to view with the naked eye.

i’m not okay (i promise) - the video that spawned a million high school AUs. god i love this one. even watching without the nostalgia goggles it’s great.

helena - perhaps my favorite music video of all time? if not then top 3. this video still remains my ideal aesthetic 12 years later. HOW I’M TRYNA BE. i just wanna look like an extra in this video, okay.

the ghost of you - time to cry!!!!! emetophobia warning at 0:47

welcome to the black parade - it’s hard for me to talk about these videos bc they’re so universally iconic that to explain why i love them so much would be mostly redundant.

famous last words - see above. this song means the world to me

desolation row - if i had to pick a video other than helena to look like an extra in i’d pick this one. has gerard ever looked this good, before or after this video?? peak.

NINE INCH NAILS

down in it - these are getting linked to vimeo since the official nin account has them all uploaded there in better quality. anyway i love so many of the shots in this video and i love the colors and i love bab trent

head like a hole - SO dated y’all but bab trent leveled up and became baby dread trent.

happiness in slavery - this is seriously graphic. but it’s great. also where’s the extended version that shows trent getting eaten by the weird carnivorous robot

gave up - bABY BRIAN!! infants, y’all. INFANTS.

march of the pigs - it’s a one-take performance video but it’s...... so much more than that. this video hurts me in my hand/glove kink.

closer - this is in the top 3 with helena honestly. it is... a piece of art film before all else. a Must Watch. 

burn - another case of a video being important to me because of the song it’s for tbh.

the perfect drug - marc romanek is a GOD. also a piece of art film honestly. just y’all wait till i make my dnd character based on trent in this video lmao

starfuckers, inc - hm, another nin video that trent invited manson to be in. interesting. all memes aside it’s a great video even as much as i hate the use of the “fat = ugly” trope. epilepsy warning for flashing effects in the last part of the video

deep - why. are. y’all. SLEEPING ON THIS!!!!

only - this may have been the first nin video i willingly saw and recognized as nin. this video still holds up, especially with it being 95% cgi and still looking as good as it does.

ROB ZOMBIE

living dead girl - the theme song of my life??? iconic couple costume idea????

meet the creeper - i have to include this video because it’s BAD. it’s terrible and i fucking love it

american witch (live version) - WHEN ROB PICKS UP JOHN AND STARTS SPINNING HIM AROUND!!!! this is here specifically for all the long hair john content

dead city radio and the new gods of supertown - the aesthetic. everybody looks great. matt is in a gorilla suit

well everybody’s fucking in a ufo - highly nsfw. where do i begin with this fucking hot mess...... sheri’s huge fake boobs. john and matt and ginger as astronauts. john jerkin off. the aliens with dicks. the fact that the whole story is about getting gang banged by aliens???? nothing will ever reach this level

SKOLD

self titled promotional clip - epilepsy warning for a lot of flashing and smash cuts. sort of a few partial music videos in one, but there are only two official skold videos, so i gotta include both of them. the quality is garbage. it’s so incredibly 1996. yet i love it. the last song, anything, is pretty nsfw as in there’s actual femdom porn clips but this is why i love it.

better the devil - if there were more skold videos i’d put them here. but as i said there are only two. tim out there lookin like not just a snack but a full course meal in 4k quality. goddamn. the only man i can ever truly call d*ddy. tiffany and eli lookin like delicious side dishes as well.

TAKING BACK SUNDAY

you’re so last summer - flava flave is in it

this photograph is proof - this song makes me so fucking nostalgic............. it transports me right back to eighth grade lmao. tbs were one of my fave bands in middle school.

makedamnsure - the most emo song of all time?? side note regarding tbs: real talk, being fat in middle school, seeing another fat person in a band was so fucking reassuring and great. i love eddie. 

liar (it takes one to know one) - these visual effects are SO cool, even now.

YOU ME AT SIX

jealous minds think alike - ART... no but actually look at these literal fetuses. i fucking love this song. it’s probably my fave track on take off your colours.

kiss and tell - you right it’s another house party video BUT. baby josh with an undercut. he must be 18 or barely 19 here??

liquid confidence - WHEN YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

stay with me - jkfljkghdfskljgs okay serious time: this song got me through a seriously rough part of my life and i have the title tattooed on me partially because of the video. 

loverboy - i have never seen a fandom in such utter chaos as the ymas fandom was on the day this video dropped. holy fucking shit. the THIRST was REAL. 

bite my tongue - peak ymas captured in one music video. that’s truly the most important part. that peak sns era ymas was preserved forever in this video.

lived a lie - is it bad if i still kinda want a “we are believers” tattoo lmao. i really....... love this song a lot. is it obvious by now that ymas love a big chorus lmao

give - this song gives me The Feels. it deserved better than a performance video in an empty arena but it’s all we got, so here it is.

[gomonmikados]

alphabet mem

hi @yaanchan

A, Age: 20

B, Birthplace: seoul, korea

C, Current time: 1:55 AM

D, Drink I last had: coke lul

E, Easiest person to talk to: probably the vore dungeon but no one person in particular

F, Favourite song: it’s been like 95 years but i’s still crying lightning by arctic monkeys

G, Grossest memory: tw emeto- oh man I guess probably lying in a puddle of my own vomit after a bout of the usual chronic pain??? 

H, Horror: books, games, or movies?: horror books are the jam! games are cool too; movies are the least interesting bc there’s no room to fantasize abt the monsters :///

unless we’re talking about non-horror books/games/movies in which case I spend a shitton of time gaming, prefer reading and movies only when I’m working on a project and I need background noise. 

I, In love: lol

J, Jealous: I’m literally the most jealous person that I know, it’s ridiculous. 

K, Killed anyone: nice

L, Love at first sight: lol

M, Middle name: idk anymore

N, Night or day: definitely nighttime. the sun hurts my eyes.

O, One wish: meet my exes in a cosco parking lot and have a fistfight tbh. there will be a crowd. I most definitely will break my hand bc I punched wrong or w/e. @oliverecdavis is supposed to help me out here :/ 

P, Person I called last: my financial aid office LUL

R, Reasons to smile: I have 4 L of coke rn. I’m getting a new PC as a gift from a stranger on the internet. 

S, Song you last sang: all men are pigs // studio killers

T, Time you woke up: 10-ish am for school.

U, Underwear: boxers

V, Vacation destination: somewhere where a meal doesn’t cost $15. please I’m dying. 

W, Worst habit: trying to stay up super late thinking that I can handle it like I did in high school (I can’t.)

X, X-ray: I’m actually due for one but I can’t pay for it so I’m not going in lul

Y, Your favourite food: coke, I fucking love sushi, all kinds of korean food, blah blah blah

Z, Zodiac sign: libra

tag urself when if u want

[cloud111]

tag ten people you would like to get to know better

bUCKLE UP for some oversharing courtesy of @alien-aniki

name/nickname(s): I think I probably go by Cloud most often

favourite colours: Okay so it’s brown and I’m not trying to be funny or problematic just trust me.

last song i listened to:  Lmao do I even listen to music lemme see ~ Jon Bellion - Guillotine. Not a very representative song of my musical tastes tbh, for that probably like Black Mambo - Glass Animals?

favourite tv show(s): Mmmmh I don’t currently own a tv so I don’t watch very much... I like TWD and Shameless but same with the strong tendency towards anime.  Also New Girl. Also Parks and Rec. idk “favorite” is like the hardest thing for my ambivalent ass

first fandom: Pokemon!! And I still haven’t left. Story time: when I was single-digit years my dad was in the military and would constantly be going out on assignments and leaving for a few months at a time. When he came back he always had presents. He brought back a lot of really cool stuff especially when he was deployed in Korea for a really long time. He got my sister and I these beautiful jewelry boxes and ornate hand mirrors, but he also always bought each of us one of those booster packs of Pokemon cards. Every. Time. We only ever liked looking at them and had no idea how to play and I would sit in our living room sorting them by Type and then by alphabetical order. Yeah I was that weird toddler. Anyways eventually he also bought us each a gameboy and my sister got Red version and I got Yellow (lmao eat it bitch) and then it just kinda kept going from there forever until here i am now with an embarrassing amount of Pokemon knowledge and a version from every generation that has ever existed. I could pretend I’m embarrassed but tbh it makes me feel really appreciative of my dad for helping me find something that could comfort me through my whole life. Sorry this got sentimental Yikes.

hobbies: WOW you’re gonna learn a lot about me but I did warn you and you can’t deny that. Horseback riding, reading, writing (but it’s so bad like I’ve been 10 chapters into 3 novels now for like months; I write fanfiction more often and that I actually am ashamed of). I love working with animals, especially livestock. Right now I do a lot of husbandry with goats, sheep, cattle, and swine. Working and maintaining them is really fun, and their biology is so cool! I really like explaining the commercial food animal industry to people because there are so many misconceptions and I’m really passionate about it. Also just Netflix bingeing and OH MAN I LOVE OBSESSING OVER STUFF. HMU WITH ANYTHING YOU’RE EXCITED ABOUT AND I WILL BE THE BIGGEST HYPE!!

books that i’m currently reading: Real book-wise I’m on book 2 of GoT. It’s such a slow read, jesus. Also cringeworthy so often imagining big sweaty Georgie typing out all the sex scenes in a dark corner of his basement. THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. NO WOMAN LIKES THEIR NIPPLES BITTEN, SOURCE: I AM A WOMAN. There are inarguably some really good parts tho. I also follow tg:re and ks releases.

worst thing i’ve eaten: Does this have to be food cuz one time i licked goat birth fluid off my arm because I thought it was frosting but it most certainly was not. For a food maybe kimchi? NO, it’s anything mint-flavored. Excluding mint toothpaste I get migraines (real, crying/suffering/vomiting migraines) every time.

favourite place(s): I’ve never traveled so I wish I could say :/ I really like anywhere with lots of trees and animals and small buildings and nice people. Places that are quiet with places to read books or when it’s raining outside but you’re warm. Yeah.

Okay so I def don’t have 10 people but how abouttt

@osonos (I think maybe you’re not on tumblr rn but we’ve been mutuals for a while so I don’t wanna not include you) @rabbitdaddy13 @jobfuckaski  @alizenk @tilljoy @kouhaise @sentrakk

I feel like I see y’all all the time on my dash or my tags let’s be friends

[silkyandsurveys]

survey #3

may 17,2020

1)What is your idea of an ideal date?

i love the idea of an amusement park date? it’s so cliche but it’s so cute and fun cause it would just be such a fun time to just laugh with each other and be soft and cute

2)When did you last unexpectedly gain money?

hmmm that’s hard. i just today applied for unemployment and those results will be coming back soon ? hopefully? but then my mom said that my old job is looking for people to take food to cars so i might be doing that and getting some good money so not anytime recently but i’m guessing in the soon future i will

3)What are your favorite preparations of vegetables?

I’m sorry but just extremely soft broccoli and butter with salt and pepper is so good and classic

4)What are your plans for the rest of the day?

uhm it’s 7:08 pm so take my medicine and shower and then just play on my phone for a couple hours until bed

5)What is your favorite movie soundtrack?

this is so hard because i don’t watch a lot of movies. this may seem odd because of course but the bohemian rhapsody movie but that doesn’t really count. love simon is great same as fault one our stars idk

6)If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?

i really don’t know. part of me wants to say go and like do something crazy but what can you really do that’s ~crazy~ in 24 hrs. i would just go see all my friends. say things i never had the courage to say in the past to certain people hug everyone idk

7)If you came along with a theme song, which song would it be and why?

omg something super bright and sassy for sure!! i can’t think of something necessarily. maybe something harry styles?

8)If you could invite 5 people to a dinner party, living or dead, who would you choose?

this is so hard but why do i wanna say ot5 one direction and literlaly just make all of them speak to each other.

9)What is Victoria's secret?

that she’s fatphobic and transphobic oops

10)If you had to be trapped in a tv show for a month, which tv show would it be and why?

omg 10000000% glee OMGGGGGG i would die but also stranger things would be hella vibes and lowkey scary but fun

--------------------

1. Have you ever moved to a different city?

No only ever moved house

2. Do you ever forget names of people you know well?

i’m not as bad with names as i am faces idk i’m just bad at that in general

3. If you could trade lives with a cat, would you do it?

uhm maybe for like a day? they legit just sleep and scratch you so?

4. Have you ever been lost? Was it frightening?

A couple times i think? driving can get very confusing

5. Do you enjoy doing new or shocking things?

sometimes i do sometimes i don’t. it’s very depending on whether i’m like mentally prepared for the information

6. Would you rather be lost in a forest or a city?

the city alone but the forest with someone

7. What is the biggest discovery you have made about yourself growing up?

that i really am quite odd? like i’m very different from what normal people in my area are. not to sound quirky but it’s true. i’m also very very adaptive to lots of different people and groups

8. Do you want to have children and a family?

yes one day. i can’t ever imagine a time though

9. Have you ever seen something strange and no one believed you?

yes!!!!

10. Have you ever had a crush on someone much older than yourself?

no actually. other than celebrity crushes of course

11. Have you ever been separated from someone?

yes. my like biggest crush of my entire life moved away a couple years ago and it was actually really hard and made me grow up

12. Do you cry over books/movies/shows/etc.?

yes i specifically watch movies to cry sometimes i’m just a really emotional person but i have a hard time naturally crying to my problems on my own

--------------------

Are there any subjects you’ve made an effort to learn about despite no obvious relevance to your daily life?

yes definitely

Have you or would you ever turn down a promotion if it meant moving somewhere new?

it really really depends. right now? no. i’m not ready to move away at this very moment but in the future ? maybe? depends on who i’m with and how happy i am where i am

Do you have someone you can carry on full conversations with and not get tired of them?

yeah definitely i have a couple friends who i really love having conversations with and we can have conversations about the same things over and over and not get bored

Who is your celebrity crush?

harry styles tehehe

Have you ever broken a bone?

no but i’ve bruised them and also gotten very bad sprains. got very close to breaking my ankle and foot tehe

What is one thing you were really good at as a kid?

crafts? i use to love polymer clay and i was actually quite good at it.

What is one thing about humanity that baffles you?

the fact that schools don’t teach about current events and the injustice of america and how freedom is so selective and UGH

How are you at fixing things?

very good. it’s almost a problem i feel like it’s my responsibility to make things easier and better for other people

Do you have any martial arts training?

no ma’am could be fun but

Do people tend to come to you for advice?

yes!!!

If you knew it would prevent a catastrophe or end a war, would you ever willingly sacrifice your own life?

i got to be really honest. no.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

i love love love telepathy but i think invisibility or transportation would be my top picks

--------------------

Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not?

uhm if i could get a large extension on my young life? yes but idk i wouldn’t want to be completely 100% immortal.

If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be?

omg hopefully my soulmate? but if i had to pick someone rn y’all i gotta say harry styles

If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

ignorance

Do you have any regrets?

yes and no. i know my decisions of my life have led me here but at the same time i always have a bad habit of looking back and wondering if things would be different if i made a different decision. i do regret little baby things though like not going to a 1d concert lmao

Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person?

i’m an independent person with chains i haven’t been able to strip yet

If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you?

yeah definitely

Do you miss anyone right now?

yes. i miss my friends but i also miss people who used to be in my life but not them now them before. it sounds sad but

If you could get away with anything, what would you do?

steal!!!! bro i would legit steal so quick if i could get away with it

What are you like when you’re by yourself?

so out there? i like romanticize my life in my head when i’m alone so i get a little crazy but i’m also way more open when i’m by myself

What would you change about yourself?

id love to be more confident? definitely would like to be healthier

If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them?

i would want to do whatever they wanted to do. hug them tell them i loved them

If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do?

make a super rich person give me all their money

If you had one wish that would come true and couldn’t be reversed, what would you ask for?

a credit card that had no limit

What would someone have to do to get in your pants?

that would be hard work as this lady is a virgin queen but idk

What’s one thing you can’t live without?

music. i used to never think this way but now i 100% do

--------------------

What did you used to have that you are happier without?

a dad LOL

What was your favorite food when you were a child?

chicken for sure but also fruit gummies

If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?

18 or 21 18 would be perfect if it weren’t for drinking

If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

sing!!! i love singing so being good at it would be great

What sound do you love?

walking on leaves. the typing noise on a phone. laughing. cracking knuckles. a starbucks glass bottle opening. record players

If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose?

elizabeth from pride and prejudice

What do you want to be when you grow up?

something in social media

What do you miss most about being a kid?

being carefree and not caring what people thought about me

What is something you learned in the last week?

certain words and their meanings from uquizzes lol

Would you rather be really attractive or really smart?

this is actually hard because i’m like averagely smart and i’m so satisfied but i’m not satisfied with my looks so

What are your phobias?

vomit is #1

If one song were to describe your life, what song would it be?

i have a playlist but i could never describe in just 1 song.

What is one habit of yours that no one knows about?

i pick my skin off my thumb?

What annoys you the most?

rude people. people who brag about their lives. negativity.

If you could change your first and middle name to anything, what would it be?

i wouldn’t change my first and middle i would only change my last