#crush on a girl ages ago. but this was also thru a secondhand source we’ve never actually talked about that
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can’t tell if i’m confusing wanting to look like almost stereotypically macho men or just being wildly attracted to them. or both i guess
#i mean i always used to say bi dilemma but im realizing this is mostly just gay now godbless. trans rights#for context. im thinking like. young harrison ford (i Know.; the reason im saying this is i remember Both my mom and dad acknowledging him#as the og Macho Man���️) and because it crossed my dash. jackles. but not really young jackles like s1 dean but matured jackles like more rece#it’s funny cause in practice. the person ive been pursuing (while Also an idiot. maybe i should just accept myself as morosexual at this#point) is actually. very effeminate HAHAHDHAHSJDHSJ#to the extent that my mom has thought he was gay in the past. i was talking about him to my sister and she asked if he was gay LMAO#which is hilarious because as far as i know (and ive known him for… almost 6 years ig? pined for almost 5). i’m Only aware that hes had a#crush on a girl ages ago. but this was also thru a secondhand source we’ve never actually talked about that#we probably should but we’re both idiots i have no idea how it’d be brought up#but in terms of effeminate. hm. he’s actually Really tall maybe over 6ft? and he Can have a deep voice. i think he can sing bass? but he#actually speaks in a higher register. god i wonder if he’s doing the opposite of me. who’s always consciously deepend my voice LMAO#he’s a HUGE plant enthusiast. HUGE. i dont Think he’s ND (or at least he doesn’t from what i can tell. I get vibes) but he straight up has a#plant fixation. knows so much about care. when he worked in greenhouses he learned the latin names for a good portion of them. i know this#isnt exactly ‘effeminate’ but he does all the gardening. oh and to add to it ig. i dont know HOW. he was NOT. irked by gore and blood???#when i explained to him what my potential job as a crime scene cleaner could entail??? but he cannot STAND bugs. he FREAJED OUT (over text)#at the mention of a spider. so of course. me being the 8yo boy with a playground crush. proceeded to tell him all my Fun Spider Encounters#lets see i think he also really loves to bake? ive seen these elaborate cakes (tp roll for covid. a fish) he’s made on insta. and there was#that one time he brought me those three most MOIST chocolate cupcakes with raspberry buttercream icing. i deadass ASCENDED to heaven.#food IS the way to a man’s heart btw.#oh yeah and the fact that i met him in the first place — well. i play oboe in ensembles. and he’s flute/piccolo. yeaHAHSHAHSHH#LMAO remembering that while he doesnt keysmash (i’ve started to around him. it’s mostly emojis bless his heart) he deadass called me ‘hun’#oh and the best part? i couldnt think kf what to watch. and he’s over here saying he doesnt watch ANYTHING. like bro how do u NOT. listen to#any music past 1900. OR OPERA EITHER. and NOT have any favorite movies/shows??? wh??? like. he deadass was like ‘unless [gardening channel#on youtube] counts’ like girl i am so in love#but yeah i was literally sitting there sounding like a pretentious film nerd bro i cant fuckin believe it. but i FINALLY wriggle it out of#him. because apparently he cant concentrate on most movies (valid.). the ones he CAN are cheesy chick flick comedies#saying that he can recite 90% of mean girls. thats his favorite movie#and he also mentioned like. legally blonde#and i have a feeling he almost was avoiding it in case i would judge him or whatever but ngl i honestly fell harder HAHSHSJAJDJAJ#fuck 30 tags but let’s just say. very effeminate compared to me. a full on Dad
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