#crowley doesn't want to be a chess figure

[secretdiaryofcrowley]

Where we left off: Shax, newly anointed Duchess of Hell, jumpscared our hero in his bentley….

…. and apparently, she wants to bribe me with liquor-filled chocolates to come back to Hell. I’m not going back, but first I puncture the chocolates with a pen to drink all the liquor. Oh, and did I mention I’m small? (the puncturing and drinking thingie wouldn’t work too well if I was my usual size).

“Stop deluding yourself, Crowley. Deep inside, you already know that Aziraphale left for one reason only. You are a demon and you will never be good enough for him.” Shax tilts her head to the side in one of those familiar bird-demon gestures and watches me intently with one eye.  “How does that make you feel, Crowley? Hurt? Angry? Will you let an angel treat you this way? Break you and cast you away like a used toy?”

I clench the pen and ram into the next piece of chocolate like a tiny lance. This is ridiculous. She doesn’t know the least thing about my angel. However delusional Aziraphale may be for believing he can make a difference in Heaven, deep down his intentions are good. He never wanted to hurt me.

“You gave up everything just to be with him, and you’ve risked everything, even your own destruction. And at the first grasp of power – he’s gone!”

No. No, no, no, no! This isn’t about power. Aziraphale doesn’t care about power at all. He wants to change the system from within. He wants to turn Heaven into the place of light, he always believed it’s meant to be.

But in this belief, there’s no place for a demon. There would have been a place for the angel I was, but I can no longer be that angel.

Shax’ eyes glitter. “I’m not offering you a job, Crowley, I’m offering you a chance at revenge. Rise from the ashes and use that burning fury inside you against the one who wronged you. Unite with me and strike him down on the battlefield in the Great War to come.”

Revenge? Burning fury? I almost choke on the burning whiskey running down my throat. Course, I understand where this is going, she wants to me to direct my anger against Aziraphale. She wants me to become the big bad demon in shiny black armour raining fire and destruction in his unquenchable thirst for vengeance.

Bloody Heaven, I can almost picture this. Aziraphale and me having a face-off in the midst of battle. He’s probably wearing something silvery-white and carrying – I don’t know – some flaming sword or lancea-longini-spear-of-destiny-thingie. And then we’d look into each other’s eyes and stab each other very dramatically with Heaven and Hell watching. And maybe, just maybe, we’d die even more dramatically in each other’s arms with white and black wings entwined.

There’s only one little mistake in this scenario, we did this whole silver knight - dark knight scenario a thousand years ago in King Arthur’s Court and it hasn’t become any less pathetic since then. And second – a crank handle isn’t really made for stabbing. Or fighting in wars for that matter.

“Sorry, Shax.” I’m back to normal size now, sitting in my usual seat behind the wheel. “Nice career option, just not seeing myself there. Anyway, thanks for the booze and tell Hastur, I said ‘hi’”.

She looks at me incredulously. “This choice will have consequences. If you stand aside like a coward, you will be crushed like one.”

“There are always consequences.” I shrug. “But it’s not cowardice, although you probably don’t believe me.”

“What is it, then?” She eyes me suspiciously.

“I just don’t feel it, Shax. All this silly power play for rank and influence and who-get’s-the-biggest-throne-and-the-shiniest-medal. I know, we demons are supposed to live for this, but I just don’t care.  And, you know, that eternal-fiend-thing with the angels? Don’t feel that either.”

“Earth has made you weak.” She shakes her head. “All of us will assemble and take our positions in the last stand. Like on a chess board. If you don’t take yours, you will be totally insignificant in the game to come. And my offer was better than anything you could've hoped to achieve. You could’ve been my Second-in-Command, once I sit on Beelzebub’s old throne.”

She can’t know that she’s already the second person to offer me a position like that. The third, actually, if you count “The United States of Beelzebub”.

No.

No Heaven for me. No Hell for me. I’m done.

“I’m perfectly fine with being insignificant.” I want to add more, but she’s already vanished.

Anyway, I’m keeping the coffee. Or in my case, the liquor.

~*~

More Diary Parts

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21

[simplyreveries]

I noticed that you opened the requests. I wanted to ask related to staff (separated) with mc/yuu who had daddy issues in their world and who sees them as a father figure

i love this sm,,,, TY<3

dire crowley

he is…. interesting- he does mean well but he just does a poor job executing that sometimes. he was never expecting to feel such a sense of protectiveness and being overly doting to you. it started when he couldn't help but feel pity for your own situation and watching you adjust to this world is tough.

you’ll find him randomly popping up out of nowhere in school and he’ll ask how you’re doing. a way as a check up on how you’re handling this world and school life so far, he’d tell you if you ask him. as soon as you ask him about home… "oh! is someone is calling me?" and just literally disappears.

In this case, I feel like his reluctance to figure out a way to bring you home stems from the fact that he really does care for you and doesn't want to lose that. so, let's just say, it'll take him awhile to figure that out. crowley seems to be trying to convince you how amazing, twisted wonderland really is! you could thrive and live so happily here! (minus the overblots… terrifying magic… creatures and more) he tells you how great it is for you already have a home, a whole dorm for yourself, as he’d say: “for i am so gracious!” that he’s done such a generous thing for you.

the first time you tried to give him a hug as thanks for something he was completely confused and didn't know how to react. he laughed and gave you the awkward pat on the back but once again, he means well i promise.

divus crewel

you have blatant favoritism from him… he seems a little less strict with you and if a student asks he’ll deny and tell them he doesn't do that or that he has to be since you’re not even from this world. he wouldn't expect you to know how to do certain things after all.

but still, ace and grim could groan because they got in trouble for forgetting homework or assignments but if you did he’d sigh and be like “bring it in tomorrow” and they are always so UPSET. it's also rare to get some compliments from him, but he seems to point out something well you did and give you a little “good improvement” and such. It's so obvious how he seems to care for you.

divus is literally the epitome of judgment when it comes to anyone having eyes for you or you tell him about even liking someone yourself… he is too protective and feels like any boy at this school is undeserving of you. he sees any attempt during class of one of them flirting or anything as them simply bothering you. If you mention someone like floyd he’d give you the most concerned look and be like “oh… him, how troublesome”. he doesn't really say what he thinks, unless you really ask for his opinion. he more so listens to you talk and he does genuinely try to give you some advice, even if it's a bit blunt.

mozus trein

now despite his strict and sternness, he can be a very calming person to be around and talk to. he will be pretty quiet, but he can become someone you just find if you need to talk as he listens and grades assignments, doing some work. if you really need to take your mind of certain worries and stresses, like finding a way back to your world- he'll offer you some tea and maybe even offer to play a game of chess with you (as he does with divus sometimes!)

trein is a father himself, he was very close to his daughters- so it actually is quite easy for him out of all of the staff members to develop a familial like relationship with. he enjoys having that feeling of looking after someone again and being someone, you could look up to in that sense. he would eventually notice that you do see him in such a way, he wouldn't say it, but it does warm his heart.

he'll let you play and pet lucius, it's just part of your special privileges. surprisingly, the cat likes you and always tries rubbing against you. since trein trusts you though, you will be given the duty to buy lucius cat toys from sams shop with money he gives you, he says its "in compensation" haha.

if you happen to be causing trouble with grim or some student in class, he'll scold you. but through it, he will remind and tell you he knows you're a good kid and doesn't want other bothersome students tarnishing your potential.

ashton vargas

oh poor you if you dread fitness or sports because he's always booming so loud, excited and pumped to get you involved more. even if you don't want to do something with others, he loves initiating one on one games with you and challenging you. he will not go easy though and laughs proudly whenever he wins. he'll still pat you on the back and tell you "nice job, kid!" or something of that sort. he's very supportive even if hes overly competitive at times.

sometimes you do have to hear his tangents on how he became so fit and strong... especially his "advice" on how great it is to consume raw eggs... this guy . he tries telling you it'd benefit you.

lowkey makes a big deal if you got hurt and needed to go to the infirmary. he always tries to keep a special eye on you in case and tries his absolute best to make sure you're alright. even after getting help, you needed from the nurse, still!!

sam

he tends to keep a watchful eye on you... he would much prefer and even offer, saying you'd be perfect to be working beside him at his shop. he wouldn't want you resorting or going somewhere like the mostro lounge really. but other than that, he is a very carefree guy who you could easily find yourself talking to about problems or issues you're having. his attitude and approach to things can be a good help.

also, if you're in general in need of something from his store, because you're extra special to him he'll sometimes just give you heavily discounted or even be like take it, ("it wasn't selling anyways"). hehe. he cares. especially when it comes to like snacks or food he'll have, he'll claim it's your "employee benefits!" if you're working there.

sam is pretty much in the loop with anything interesting happening at school or things he may have overheard from students. you can easily get gossip out of him, just saying. but sometimes that just turns him into trying to discreetly warn you about certain students at nrc.

[saritagiovanna]

It's OK to look at a piece of art, media, a book, and anything in between and constantly change your mind about your initial reading or take. You find new ways of interpretation, you find hidden meanings that you didn't see before. It's also OK to have different theories in your head about something and be excited for each of those theories!

I've watched Good Omens 2 four times now, and the Final 15 minutes countless times. I've read several discussions on the topic, I've read some fan fics, and I've lovingly adored all the beautiful artwork (seriously, I'm not a visual artist...stick figures are the best I can do....I'm a musician at heart...and what people have put out there is BREATHTAKING!!).

What's my point? The point is...point is...minds change, and will change again. And we have years before Season 3 comes out (hopefully in the medium we are accustomed via the show) before we can see if our theories come to pass, or something even more incredible is delivered to us (In Gaiman We Trust!!).

Now, apologies for what I'm about to show...I took a pic on my phone pointing at a screen and I still haven't figured out how to make screen grabs because of Amazon's blocking of them. In my earlier watching of the series and in my grief, I was on board with the Coffee Theory. I'm not as convinced of it anymore, other than the Coffee is a Metaphor for a threat from the Metatron (veiled as we see, or directly during discussions we don't). We KNOW Aziraphale doesn't want to go back to Heaven, he says so several times ("I've made my position quite clear." "I don't want to go back to Heaven, where would I get my coffee?"). He gets NERVOUS AF once Crowley's name is dropped by the Metatron. He has had MILENNIA to be worried about Heaven and Hell finding out about their Arrangement. The offer is made, but he knows that it's not an offer he can really say no to...he is talking to the freaking Metatron...THE VOICE OF GOD. He also KNOWS that Crowley won't want to go back to Heaven. And we know the internal struggle and problem that Aziraphale is dealing with in this look here.

He is NOT about to tell Crowley Good News as the Metatron said. The Metatron also KNOWS this. What a fucking CHESS MATCH this is! This is basically the equivalent of when Crowley says in Season 1 "We Are FUCKED!!"

So what does Aziraphale have to do? KNOWING that the Metatron is across the street looking in the window? He has to resort to the coded language he and Crowley have developed and HOPE TO GOD Crowley picks up on. I don't think Crowley did, but all the Clues are there in how nervous Aziraphale appears when he interrupts Crowley's confession. I'll try to flesh out my thoughts a bit more in another post since I want to show some more visual cues.

My other point? My thoughts can change, and have changed a bit since my heart was broken I saw the ending for the first time. I have no idea when I'm getting out of this deep well, but I don't think I want to leave!

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph chapter 135 english fan translation

AND I'M FINALLY CAUGHT UP official at here thanks as always bye

Having devoured his brother in arms, Ferid is preparing for the final decisive battle...

*horrible chewing sfx*

Owari no Seraph chapter 135: Beginning Battle of the End

Vampire Wives: ....Crowley-sama

Vampires Wives: Crowley-sama

Crowley: Ng...

Horn Skuld: We're finally able to see each other again

Horn Skuld: It's been quite a while, Crowley-sama. Although, ideally our reunion would have been under different circumstances

Chess: But seriously, Crowley-sama, how could you!? Did you even look for us once after we went missing, did you even spend a second of your time on searching for us!??

Crowley: Ah well, I figured you'd just gotten tired of me and run away

Chess: Like we'd ever!!!

Horn Skuld: No...I believe Crowley-sama knew what had become of us.

Crowley: Well, you two are my first disciples* afterall. In a way. But to think we'd all have been eaten by Ferid-kun. So what exactly is this place, what goes on here?

Horn Skuld: We're being slowly consumed during our demon transformation.

Crowley: So I guess that makes this Ferid's insides?

Chess: Just take a look over there!

Crowley: Well I'll be damned, so I guess I'll become a demon then. Something like the weapons the humans made, I wonder? Ferid-kun really is a man of many talents.

Crowley: Oh, shit-

Chess: This is how the digestion works-!

Chess: *screaming*

Horn Skuld: It seems that you'll lose consciousness as more of you gets digested.

Chess: iserysfdjsdfkljsd stopppppp

Crowley: Huh

Horn Skuld: It also, I should mention, doesn't seem that our voices are able to reach Ferid-sama from here. Since we were absorbed here, we've seen many vampires try to curse, question and scream at him, but...

Crowley: No answer?

Horn Skuld: None. At least, not to us.

Crowley: Hmmm, that so, Ferid-kun?

Crowley: Well, that's all well and good then. I guess we'll just watch from within, then. Maybe from in here, we just might catch a sight of that heart and those plans you've never opened up to us.

Ferid: You'd better watch closely, Crowley-kun. I want you to see the finale I've been working towards for so long.

Chess: WH-

Horn Skuld: How-

Horn Skuld: Crowley-sama!!?

Ferid: Let's get busy

Ferid: Now that I've eaten Crowley, who's lived within our plan for so long already, that probably just puts me past a third progenitor, but I wonder.

Ferid: Only one way to find out.

Yuu: Devour my desire! Mikaela, GO WILD!!

Saitou: These guys never want to just listen when someone's talking! Capture him unharmed!!

Ky: Are you sure about that??

Lest: Walk in the park, he's outnumbered.

Shikama: O Darkness, protect Y-.....

Shikama: Shit....Shinoa's attack is even affecting my physical body....she's a beast.

Shikama: O, Darkness. Turn the vampires to dust.

Yuu: *screaming*

Saitou: DUCK!!!!

Ky: Wh-

Lest: Huh?

Random Vampire Whose Name I Learned and then Forgot Again: Ah-

Ky: HOLY FUCK

Lest: What the hell are we in it with the First too!??

Ky: O, SWORD!!

Urd: Rigr!!

Saitou: Urd, watch my six.

Urd: O sword, drink as much blood as it takes.

Urd: Shit. Rigr, we're going to be in trouble fast if we don't cut them off at the source!!

Saitou: I expect nothing less of our Father, still having this much power.

Saitou: PROTECT!!

Yuu: HERE IT IS, MIKA!!

Saitou: DON'T LET HIM THROUGH, URD.

Urd: No way this is gonna end with 'unharmed.' Actually, if restraining him isn't an option I really don't care if he dies.

Shikama: Yuu...Yuu...**

Yuu: Ahh...he's got that same tired expression that was so characteristic of him in my memories...

Yuu: I still don't know if there's a way, but I've come to save you, Father.

Shikama: Hurry, I doubt I have much time left for what I need to pass on to you.....

Shinoa: Ha...hahaha!!!

Shinoa: All of it, all of it all of it all of it!!! I'm going to swallow you!!

Krul: .....what now? Your vibes are totally off, who are you?

Ferid: I'm a fan of yours, my queen.

The Third Progenitor Showdown begins....!!!

*this word can mean either family or like serfs, so I settled on something in between the two, so it feels like he has responsibility to them without assuming maybe more closeness than the text is willing to state

**Shikama here is calling Yuu like he called the eyeball in the ancient flashbacks. Earlier in this chapter or the last he was using the kanji for Yuu's name, like our Yuu, but here he's calling ユウ like the homonculous.

[koebi-channnn]

Meet Lunette Rêve!

• in Diasomnia

• signature spell: dream of true love (can give people dreams)

• gives people nightmares for Science

• 17

• birthday is January 31 (aquarius)

• 2nd year

• 1/2 moth fae

• antennae

• eyes are completely black

• long wavy brown hair

• always wearing a turtleneck sweater when not in uniform

• probably autistic

• hates Crowley

• has a crush on Azul — very interested in how his mind works like a fae's, and the fact that he has dirt on Crowley

• wants to study him like a bug

• joined the board game club to get closer to him — really only good at chess and checkers

• Azul doesn't mind her because she seems pretty gullible and he figures that'll come in handy for him one day

• Idia is scared of her

• dislikes loud noises (aka Sebek)

• spacey, daydreams a lot

• very academically smart but never knows what's going on

• enneagram 5w4

• types in all lowercase

• talks formally with few contractions

• very hard to fluster

• knows French

• should not be left alone with Rook, for everyone else's sake

• wears glasses (optometrists HATE her)

• loves tea and hot chocolate

• plays piano — she'd love to duet Azul

• zero sense of personal space

• really good at flying but awful at spelldrive

last edited 10/5/24

[eluxcastar]

Father figure Crowley.

(because we love that for him)

FEATURES: crowley eusford, (a little bit of) chess belle and horn skuld

CW: none though it is implied Ferid meant for them to die 💀

WC: 1.8k

NOTES: I haven't finished that other thing and last night literally on the verge of sleeping I was like "Papa Crowley though" and now we're here. I kinda like these ramble-esque things they're fun to write but I don't know what to call them (╥╯^╰╥)

Anyway here is child reader not knowing about the concept of grip socks for 1.8k words (it's ok they're too baby to know about grip socks) but I also don't remember the kids in Sanguinem wearing shoes 🤨 first of all--

you can barely fathom what exactly is going on, watching a fight over something fickle. You think it's fickle at least, Ferid pacing about the room as you see his hands moving but can't understand much of what comes out of his mouth, as they're bickering over something you bicker over as a child—the same kind of debate you have when someone likes different chocolate or different dinosaurs.

was that how you ended up on his doorstep?

your little hand knocks on the door, once then twice and then a few more times until it startles you and finally opens to the red-haired Vampire you say on the other side of the fight, and you barely give him a second of space between seeing a child at his doorstep and opening his mouth to ask what it's doing there.

"Lord Ferid sent me! He said it was a uh…show of good faith I think was what he said."

life there begins perhaps out of pity you had to walk yourself all the way to him, and things are different. It's not like the arrangement you made with Ferid, getting to sell your blood to him in exchange for things and occasionally fall asleep around his manor. Crowley Eusford didn't like to leave you out in the cold, and without a place to stay nearby, he houses you under his roof where you're taken care of.

you have yet to figure out what your part of the deal is, because Crowley says he doesn't like children's blood. Ferid was just playing a mean trick.

at first he didn't have much to say to you and liked to leave you with someone else, but over time he stopped avoiding it, avoiding you. He begins to interact with you more the more he sees you, and somehow you expected something…different.

you start to question that however as he's unusually benevolent. Ferid never pat your hair unless it was to shoo you away right after, but now it feels more like a way to soothe you. He has his two closest attendants take care of you sometimes, and both of them are fairly easy to get along with. They're the ones who snatch you up from your day and drop you in a warm bath before putting you to bed most nights.

there are many times that he does have free time and lets you loiter around him. Just because you're so young doesn't mean you haven't learned not to bother the Vampires, especially not the nobles.

you told him one day that it was strange, asking him why he doesn't want your blood. He doesn't like children's blood—his words not yours—but apparently not every Vampire likes every kind. That was…well it made some sense? It's not like you like every food you're given, even if you still eat it, but if you had to choose you'd definitely pick what you like.

your influx of returning energy was a breath of fresh air however, allowing you to run around and play to your heart's content. Chess likes to play with you, though she's somewhat reserved around Horn, you honestly thought she found you annoying until Crowley and Horn were out and she was arguably more excited about it than you were.

the days you like most are spent around Crowley Eusford, surprisingly. You think he's quite nice for a noble but he tends to brush you off saying Ferid is just weird. Your only basis was Ferid however, you'd never seen another until his visits started. You didn't exactly expect to be living with him either until Ferid proposed another deal for you.

"Ferid is eccentric, but I don't have any interest in your blood. You live here because it's rude to dump you back on his doorstep."

but you didn't fully believe that, especially not when those are the days he watches as you get sleepy and curl up on the floor, and you feel his hands at your sides come to pick you up and settle you in his arms as he carries you off to bed.

you feel safer there than you ever had even just wandering Ferid's manor to get the things you wanted. Being laid gently in your bed is something you're used to, nor was getting the blankets draped over you.

sometimes he stays and sometimes he has to work some more, sort some things out. He sits on the edge of your bed and talks to you for a while, but most of the time let's you hold his hand and nuzzle your cheek against it to get comfortable. It's the start of affection, it feels like a lot more attention than you're used to though. He's not used to over-coddling you just yet.

this is his attempt at becoming less detached from your life as it is now, and yet he can't say he's comfortable laying by your side to let you cuddle up to him yet. This is just a way of letting you both get comfortable with the idea, ease you into this. You were so young at the time of the apocalypse you hadn't had parents to do things like this in a long time, so it was a foreign sentiment to you too.

you can't deny you enjoy this though, especially when he lets you sit on his lap while he works so you can see what he's doing, play with some object you found and distract yourself while he asks questions about how well Chess and Horn are treating you. He's glad that you like them, even if you think Horn likes to ruin some of your fun, but you're good at quieting down and keeping to yourself when she shushes you.

none of them are all that good at cooking, the one time Horn and Chess tried they almost burned the house down until you assured them you'd make food yourself if they could get ingredients for you. You ended up making a curry that you kept stored for a few days and ate it slowly with rice.

it's easy to sit your lunch on Crowley's desk while you sit in his lap, or on the floor next to him with a book. He's often receptive to your attempts at talking, just not when other people are around unless it's important.

like Ferid, for example, who is surprised to see you alive when he visits for the first time in months. If not the chaos of keeping you fed, it seemed to be keeping Crowley fed that was his problem. You had yet to even realise that was the reason Ferid was suspiciously nice to you before asking you to go. You'd never feel safe if he took you back, you knew as much.

it's the first time since you came here to live with him that he lets you hug him, it's the moment Ferid is out of sight, and you were scared by the idea that even through all of your negotiating you somehow managed to end up here. You run to him and hold onto his leg so tightly he picks you up by pure obligation, but it's a rare occurrence. You're used to him awkwardly shuffling away and laughing it off, but he lets you.

it's also the first time he lets you fall asleep in his lap later that day without immediately waking you up to walk you to bed. You're not sure when he finally put you to bed, just that you barely remember him stroking your forehead after he'd tucked you in before you fall back to sleep.

he's finally starting to see you as a little child who has no one, and you have a feeling that you're not the first one of those he's seen. He knows how to respond eventually, just not at first when all he knows about you is that you used to live somewhere near where Ferid operates his library.

Crowley is better at not just dumping you on Chess and Horn now, though you still play around with Chess and inevitably end up in some kind of trouble with Horn, but now? Now you can go running off to Crowley, your 'I'm going to tell Mom' of sorts, and he usually just laughs knowing you likely deserve it.

for a long time you wore your uniform as you always had, but it seemed you were soon to change that out for plain clothes. You hardly go out as it is, so it's not as if you really needed it. It isn't like he's dressing you up either, it's just that you look less like livestock if you don't dress that way. Harder to be mistaken for livestock if you don't dress like livestock as you remember he put it. You've never seen yourself in anything else, it's so surreal to look at. Is this what people used to feel like?

you're not used to running around with socks on, he can't get you to even keep your shoes on for more than a few minutes before you pull them off again. You aren't ready for the consequences of socks on smooth floors either, almost slipping over until he catches you to keep you steady once you realise you should slow down.

it feels weird to crawling into bed in these clothes too, a different feeling to it like the clothes are made out of something different, and it turns out you need another set of clothes specifically to sleep in. Half the time you end up falling asleep without even bothering to change. It's kind of silly to see but as long as you're comfortable enough he's decided it's not the end of the world.

it's getting your blood drawn that's still a problem, having to walk you there all the time just to carry you back because you feel sick and dizzy afterwards. He's working to get you out of that, but it's taking time. It's just a little painful to see you so drowsy and disoriented, and you always reach for him and mumble to be picked up because you're used to him carrying you back home.

he usually just puts you to sleep, since you say you're tired afterwards, sometimes fall asleep on the way. You assume you're very easy to carry, only needing one arm under you and your arms around his neck.

you're barely surprised at this point by how much Ferid will tease him for 'keeping you' like you're some kind of dog, especially now that he's seen you in plain clothes and running about playing, a semi-normal life and environment. Ferid doesn't scare you as much however, and you don't go running off for Crowley's help when he's gone.

that's not to say you don't need him, he very much still takes care of you, but something about living this way isn't so strange anymore.

[evilphrog]

I had a different interpretation when I read the book. It was this part at the end

[Picture ID: a screenshot of a page reading "Metaphorically, I mean. I mean, why do that if you really don’t want them to eat it, eh? I mean, maybe you just want to see how it all turns out. Maybe it’s all part of a great big ineffable plan. All of it. You, me, him, everything. Some great big test to see if what you’ve built all works properly, eh? You start thinking: it can’t be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire. And don’t bother to answer. If we could understand, we wouldn’t be us. Because it’s all—all—”

INEFFABLE, said the figure feeding the ducks. “Yeah. Right. Thanks.”

They watched the tall stranger carefully dispose of the empty bag in a litter bin, and stalk away across the grass. Then Crowley shook his head.

End picture ID]

At first glance, I thought that figure was Death. But Death speaks with italics. And Crowley and Aziraphale definitely would recognize him. And Terry Pratchett's death would be caring for cats, not ducks. So my current interpretation is that this is the Good Omens God. And that they are implicitly saying "yes, I approve of everything you have done."

Reading this, as someone who was kicked out of the church for pointing out too many hypocrisies, doesn't say "nobody knows what is going on." It says "don't listen to anyone who argues that harmful things are worth it for a greater good. The greatest good is loving each other. Care about EVERYONE so much that you will stand before the most powerful forces in the universe with a tire iron just to give them a fighting chance. It doesn't matter if you have been told you are bad, or wrong, or evil. It doesn't matter if you are going against everything you were ever taught about right and wrong. You know in your heart what is truly good, and as long as you stick to it, we can all make it together."

Edited to add: I totally understand and respect your interpretation also, and loved reading it. I think it is super neat how, based on our own life experiences and perspectives, we all get different things out of the book. I love media like that. That can be interpreted a thousand different ways with loads of nuance. The way little details I never noticed were the best part for other people, and how my favorite parts were just throwaway lines to others. It is great, and one of my favorite things about this fandom is the way everyone has such unique and detailed interpretations.

The fact that the Good Omens TV show is narrated by God is not only contradictory to the core message of the book, but it actively ruins it and in this essay I will