#crowc: celeste

[screamingcrows]

Tie a tether here - Dottore x OC (Celeste)

Note: I don't even care if Dottore is ooc because I needed this. Don't squint too hard at this. Takes place between Tomorrow and Change of Pace. Do not fucking feed this to ai, I'll get you Trypanosoma rhodesiense. Warnings/tags: MDNI, self harm (specifically cutting, scratching, and ripping out hair), delusions (the psychotic kind, not the vision mimics), mental breakdown, not established relationship, bad comfort.

Breathe in.

Hold.

A foreign scream rattled the modest bathroom.

Hold.

Celeste's ribs were about to snap.

Nails raked along her scalp, fingers tangling in the soft hair and ripping out one strand after the other.

Hold.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

The tiles were cold against her knees, legs numb from how long she'd remained there.

Breathe out.

Someone was there with her.

Her ears flicked, picking up the sound of something moving in the halls. It felt too uncertain to be acknowledged. Heavy boots. A soldier? They'd walk by and be none the wiser. All that mattered was the absence of Dottore, his leave ensuring privacy here in his sanctuary.

Clawed hands grasped at the cold sink in preparation to hoist herself up, head lowered in irrational fear of the polished mirror. Something she'd polished herself one week prior. Dottore had needed it clean, not that he'd asked.

Her visage was foreign when it invaded her mind uninvited. Dark bags lined the pale skin under her eyes, their discoloration the worst of all. What had he compared them to before? The break of dawn over the mausoleum? Bile rose in her throat, body jerking with the onset of coughs and gags.

Nothing was expelled from her body save the tears that refused to dry. If only it was that easy. Foul laughter erupted from her throat, bubbling to the surface as it was wrung from her body. The tears flowed faster, confusion and fear at the foreign sounds being brought to life. Was that her fate, bring about such terrible things?

Several familiar faces danced at the edges of her vision, her own reflection baring its sharp teeth in a mocking sneer. Her head was pounding, the laughter threatening to crush her skull and what little sanity remained.

Murderer.

They kept whispering that single word, the sound echoing painfully in her head, burying itself where it would never be uprooted. Their grins remained intact, empty eyes boring into her even as all faded to black. A sharp pang went through the haze, fresh blood pooling around her claws as they dug into her shoulders, shaking with a need to rend. Celeste felt her muscles spasm, fighting a futile war with itself, torn between serving justice and self preservation.

Glass cracked and splintered under the weight of her fury, uselessly clattering to the ground to join her ambitions. Another howl tore itself free while she sunk back to her knees, masking not only the sharp knock but also the immediate creaking of hinges.

"And why, exactly, are you in my quarters Celeste? I might have given you a key out of convenience, but that was hardly an invitation."

Everything shattered around her, hands desperately flying to her shoulders to cover and hide, back rounding as she curled in on herself. A small shake of her head to spread the white locks of hair, praying it had no visible stains already as it blanketed her form.

Revenge?

"Privacy… You were gone anyway," the lie seared her tongue, shaky enough that it was no doubt obvious.

A cry for help?

Her eyes closed in relief when Dottore showed a rare mercy and let the question drop. The respite was short-lived as any other pleasantries in this world. Three sharp clicks from his heels and soft leather meeting bare skin, the grip on her shoulder light yet still bordering on painful as it threatened to crush her heart. His gloves would be bloodied again. The cacophony of voices had calmed at the touch.

"Make no mistake, you will be reprimanded for this mess in due time, Celeste," an unamused sigh followed, the silence that stretched reminiscent of late nights where a solution was taunting them, just out of reach, "for now, collect yourself and go to the locked lab. Delta can patch you up in there, I would rather this stay between us."

That was it? Of course it was. What else did she deserve?

Celeste found herself longing to smack his hand away, bite it perhaps, anything to shift her focus from the quickly expanding pit of her stomach. It was all so tiresome, body heavy and sluggish as she let it curl in further on itself, as if the world could be shut out so long as all senses were dulled. A sob left her lips. It could, she knew it could.

The weight on her shoulder moved, awkwardly firm in the way it shook her.

"I said collect yourself, tardiness has never been a vice for you and it would be unfortunate to develop the habit now," Dottore's words lacked their previous bite, more resigned than anything.

Another cackle wormed its way from her throat, building to a manic laughter as her own hands flew up to catch it at the source, squeezing around the delicate column, anything to make it stop.

He's laughing at you. It's natural. A pathetic creature who can do nothing right. Escaping fate takes more than fleeing a nation.

"Celeste," his voice was sharp again, sharper than the feel of his palm colliding with the back of her head.

Everything went quiet again save for the dull thud of an aching heart.

"Don't make me drag you there."

The thumb rubbing against her shoulder now was far more rugged than the familiar leather. When had he removed the glove? A sigh left her, focusing on the drag against her skin and the stinging pain that accompanied it with every swipe just barely dodging the open cuts. Her breath was coming in short puffs, adrenaline coursing through her veins as the formless voices continued to lurk in the shadows, waiting for the time where she'd be alone again.

Celeste was well aware that the anguish, the way her voice cracked so pitifully, was undoubtedly irksome for Dottore, but nothing could be done to stop it.

"Being patched up isn't going to-"

"Do you think I'm unaware? Tell me then, what can be done in this very moment? From where I stand, there's no immediate solution to this, and clever as you are, you'd have already found it if there was. And if I," he hesitated for a moment, finger digging painfully into a wound before reluctantly pressing on, "if we cannot fix that, then at least the vessel can be maintained."

A few tears were wiped from her cheeks, slowly turning as if compelled to look at him. Dottore had forgone the mask, a rare occurrence. There were creases around his eyes, jaw clenched so tightly the muscles trembled.

By no means should those words be calming.

Celeste let her head fall, eyes closing as exhaustion took root. Her eyes stung from the lack of tears left to shed, a light pressure still remaining, the only thing keeping complete emptiness at bay.

"Don't- don't look at me like that."

No words were offered in response as his thumb continued to trace over old scars and fresh wounds alike, touch far too delicate for the man he was. A hiss left her lips when her hair was moved out of the way, knowing that nowhere she could reach on her thorax had been spared throughout the years.

"And don't touch me…"

Don't touch me like that.

"And here I thought your gravitation towards high necklines and covered shoulders was simply a testament to professionalism."

Another silence ensued, uncomfortable and far too long. Already broken shards of the mirror cracked under Dottore's boot as he shifted before kicking them away, some of them disappearing under the crumpled fabric of the discarded shirt.

"It's hideous-"

And I'd rather be spared the faux sympathy.

The words felt heavy, he'd already been burdened enough by this outburst. If only she hadn't gone to his quarters in some silly pursuit of false security, this could've all been avoided and her dignity would be intact.

"I seem to recall your lips tracing along my body, saying my numerous imperfections didn't matter. 'merely proof you've lived' if I remember correctly. Explain to me the difference."

"There's a- a good reason you look as you do," a reason you won't share with me, "it was out of your control, but this-"

"Do you harm yourself out of a desire to do so?"

"I mean- I," a cloying breath of air invaded her lungs, the sense of anticipation heavy upon her tongue, how could he still be so innocently curious, "I don't know? Sometimes it's just, I have to, it's always.. it's always there and nothing makes it shut up and- I think I'm broken."

With surprising patience, Dottore let his hand fall away, walking around to lean against the sink.

"Does it work?"

"What?"

"Does it ease your mind?"

A part of her wanted to scream that of course it did, why else would she resort to it. It would be a lie. And if she hadn't imagined the regret in those garnet eyes, he knew it.

"It gives me something else to think about," the words were forced out with a shudder, fingers playing with a shard of glass.

It was crushed under his boot before her fingers could grasp it, the tiny splinters glittering against the floor.

"We have better things to distract ourselves with."

She flinched, tail stirring as it curled around her waist, body finally giving in to the thought of soothing itself. Maybe he was right, there'd never really been a quick solution to anything, had there? Her eyes flickered to the thin trails of crimson that adorned her arms. At least not any worth pursuing.

Celeste took the outstretched hand that was offered, seeing the drying blood on her hands stain his skin as she fought the sinking feeling that slowly crept back. Surprise briefly ran through her system at the slight smile that met her, the whisper of 'there you are' faint enough that she didn't dare acknowledge it, merely following Dottore out of the wrecked bathroom, thoughts frustratingly quiet as long as his hand enveloped her wrist.

[screamingcrows]

Context for this beautiful drawing (smiling so much looking at it);

Celeste did not sneak into Dottore's private quarters using the spare key he never made her return. She definetly didn't steal that shirt after realising that laying face down on his bed for thirty minutes wasn't enough to stop missing him. She has more dignity than that.

Thank you for commissioning me! OC belongs to @auphelia

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS OPEN, 5 SLOTS LEFT

[screamingcrows]

Like a self indulgent fool, I made a complete set of Genshin style voicelines for Celeste who features in this. (Written as if speaking to the Traveler, I like to think she meets them when they're in Snezhnaya)

Hello:

I'm Celeste, assistant to The Doctor. I've heard a great deal about you and it's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance. There's no need to be nervous, I'm neither interested in nor skilled enough in combat to harm you. It's a little soon to go into the details of my work, but if you need anything related to medicine or the like, you're welcome to ask and maybe I can be of assistance.

Chat: Cooperation

Clear communication is important for cooperation. Just make sure to distinguish between being clear and being rude.

Chat: Tail

Yes, it's soft. Touch it, and I'll make you regret it.

Chat: Samples

Did I properly seal those flasks before leaving? Ugh, would I even have enough subjects to start over?

When It Rains

I wonder if Snezhnaya has legends about what controls the weather. You wouldn't think the Tsa- wait, maybe I shouldn't say that.

When Thunder Strikes

It's a bit loud for me, but watching lightning strike the sea is mesmerizing in it's own right. If you count the seconds from lighting flashes you can- whimpers make it go away…

When it Snows

Really? ...Doesn't this just make you want to curl up inside?

When the sun is out

We should get a move on, this won't last forever.

In the desert

If you see me start digging, look away… No? Well I thought it was funny.

Swimming

I'll find another way, I don't like to get my fur wet.

Good morning

Starting your day with a glass of water is beneficial to your health and helps wake you up. We lose a surprising amount of moisture over the night.

Good afternoon

I'm going for a nap.

Good evening

It's time for dinner already? Time truly waits for no one.

Good night

You can go ahead and lay down, I have some things to get done. Hm? It's fine, I work best at night anyway.

About Celeste: Expressions

I've been told that I don't have the most expressive face, my ex would constantly pinch my cheeks and tickle me to get me to smile. As far as I'm concerned, it's preferable to wearing your heart on your sleeve. It's unfortunate that my body will still betray me, if I'm not vigilant my ears tend to move around a lot.

About Celeste: Pieces

We leave little bits of ourself in everything we do and everyone we meet, it's inevitable. Just make sure not to break yourself beyond repair.

About us: Friends

It's admirable how you always go out of your way to help your friends no matter what it takes, especially with how many people you seem to know and how they swarm you, it's a miracle you have time for yourself. It must be nice to be so adored. Make sure never to leave with things unsaid, but you probably don't need to be told that, do you? Anyway, I'd like to observe you a little more, maybe some of your 'friendliness' will rub off.

About us: Loyalty

As a way of thanks, if you'd like of course, I can set up a meeting between you and The Doctor? Just remember, you'll be on your own from there, certain circumstances keep me from being able to take your side should a confrontation ensue.

About the delusion

My delusion? Mm, you've got a sharp eye. It's more akin to those carried by Harbingers than regular soldiers, that's as much as I'll say. A certain someone was adamant about ensuring there would be minimal risk of backlash from using it.

Something to share

There are things in this world that should be left alone. Figuring out who spread this idea and why should be at the tip of our ambitions.

Interesting things

It is easy to think that the eyes of the gods are a blessing, while this might seem immediately true, power is never given away that freely without any strings. When it all turns to ash, they will be the hardest to save.

About Dottore: Segments

It's important to get familiar with all The Doctor's segments, not only does it make working with them a lot easier as I can defuse any situation before it gets really ugly between them… I'm kidding, don't look so concerned. It also lets me pick the ideal one to approach if I need his signature on something, did you know, his handwriting hasn't changed one bit since his youth!

About Dottore: Relationship

I was quite surprised to find that The Doctor is quite the lenient boss. As long as I get done what he requests, preferably without damage, he's satisfied. He'd rather I speak my mind and correct him than simply go along with whatever he says out of fear.

About Pierro

How do I put it, The Director is, well he has an aura that commands respect wherever he goes. I rarely see him, but whenever I have, he's always looked a little weary up close. His patience must be tested daily having to manage the rest of the harbingers, either his tolerance is boundless for arguments or he just tunes them out.

About Arlecchino

The Knave is, rightfully so I suppose, a little wary about anyone who associates with Dottore. However, she's invited me to accompany her to Fontaine on multiple occasions, with the hopes that I could help one of her children. I'd go so far as to say we're on amicable terms now, last she returned, I found a box of madeleines outside the laboratory along an invitation for tea.

About Childe

I think you've spent more time with him than I have, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. It's a pity he's so obnoxious, I'd like to run some tests on him but there are limits to what I'll tolerate. Maybe you could get some biopsies for me? I can provide detailed instructions, I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

About Sandrone

You want to know something about The Marionette? I'm afraid there's not a lot to tell, she keeps to her own wing most of the time and we rarely interact save for a few times where I've had to borrow some spare parts from her. She pretty much just shoved it into my hands and spun me around…

About Columbina

Every time I've spoken to The Damselette, there's a strong desire to rip out my brain and scrub it. Something about her presence clings to you like a mist and makes your blood run cold. She always speaks in riddles, popping out of nowhere, and clearly knows much more than she lets on. I'm just happy I'm not the one who has to keep her on a leash.

About Pantalone

The Regrator is such a stuck up bastard, avoid him at all cost. You couldn't pay me enough to willingly listen to his incessant monologues, always bragging about his newest acquisition. I always make sure to drag my tail along his furniture whenever I visit his office, white fur on black furniture is such a good look. If you do end up meeting him, sounding convincing enough when arguing can make him lose his cool, oh and wipe that dumb smirk off his face for me will you?

About Capitano

If you're waiting for me to gush about his bravery, strength, or dreamy voice, you're going to be sorely disappointed. While The Captain is certainly and honorable man, I just don't see him enough to have an opinion. I've heard about his exploits, it's impossible not to, and think his actions should speak for themselves.

About Signora

I never really had time to get to know The Fair Lady, as I was otherwise occupied before she left for her last mission. I do feel an odd sort of kinship hearing about her past, maybe if fate had been kinder…

About Wriothesley:

Oh you've met The Duke as well? Did you get in trouble or something? I had to sit through a meeting with him once, something about borrowing resources from the institute. I've never seen anyone look so displeased by the coffee I made.

About Furina:

So she wasn't really an Archon? It's not too surprising if I'm being honest, she's always seemed more like a spoiled child, a cake topper if you will. Oh, so that's what happened to her… Makes me feel pretty bad for almost assaulting her once. Maybe I'll speak with Arlecchino about delivering an anonymous gift…

More about Celeste: I

You want to know more? Ah- I think you already know what you should.

More about Celeste: II

From what you've seen on your travels so far, would you say the Fatui are inherently bad people? I used to be of that belief, now I believe that what binds us together is desperation more than anything.

More about Celeste: III

Every once in a while, I find myself regretting not moving to Sumeru. I even passed the entrance exam to the Akademiya and all. Maybe it's for the better, having heard about all the wondrous sights and places to explore, I'm not sure I'd have finished a single assignment.

More about Celeste: IV

There was a time where I could be easily goaded into just about anything to prove myself. I wish diving headfirst into a rock had made me sit down and think.

More about Celeste: V

There's nothing worse, in my opinion, than disappointing those who have hopes for you or are counting on you. That might be partially why your altruistic nature is so confounding, aren't you afraid that something will slip through the cracks? It's so easy to blame fate for our misfortunes which can be both a blessing and a curse. It might sound rough, but in a sense, I'm grateful to my misfortune in Fontaine, it woke me up to the bitter truth that I'd grown complacent.

Celeste's hobbies

There's just something about laying in the grass and watching insects pass by, living their life undisturbed by all our tribulations. Not that I can do it anymore, not living in Snezhnaya, so I've settled for taking care of my little terrarium instead.

Celeste's troubles

I hate when there's dissonance between what people say and what they do, even worse if they themselves are completely aware of it. Is this about someone in particular? No, why do you ask?

Favorite food

If you're thinking about making it for me as bribery, don't even bother, I can't even replicate the taste myself. You still want to try your hand? It's relatively simple in theory, just regular crêpes.

Least favorite food

Seafood. I've had enough of that for several lifetimes. The smell alone should be categorized as a hazard.

Receiving a gift: I

You made this for me? It's good, even if it was poisoned, it'd still be worth it.

Receiving a gift: II

I'll admit, the presentation had me a bit skeptical, but I enjoyed it. Would you show me how it's made?

Receiving a gift: III

This is… Unexpected. Were you really going for this?

Birthday

Birthday? But I'd heard that you-.. Nevermind, if you say so. Happy birthday then, would you like a little celebration? Or perhaps you have a request for something you need? In any case, I hope you can enjoy yourself a little extra.

[screamingcrows]

Celeste: "Why did you make me a pyro delusion? You know I'd rather have a dendro"

Dottore: "Various factors were taken into consideration, one of which being your clear lack of wisdom."

C: "My clear lack of wisdom? So the pot is calling the kettle black now."

D: "Watch your tongue and don't be ungrateful. Besides, there are plenty of examples to support my claim, such as when you-"

C, hissing: "Don't start that game with me, old man."

[screamingcrows]

Wouldn't it be funny to casually bring up Sohreh if Dottore asked you to choke him in bed?

"Is it about that girl from all those years ago?"

Would he get mad if you did?

Okay- I'm guessing this was born out of reading the recent (amazing) fic by @/glassrowboat otherwise here's the link

It's funny you ask about this, because when Risse first wrote to me about asking Dottore to choke you, my reaction was along the lines of "oh I have an evil/bad kink practice idea now" and presented something along these lines;

My OC Celeste sometimes acts before she thinks. And I have a headcanon that a few weeks after Dottore opened up about his past (and briefly mentioned Sohreh), Celeste climbs on top of him to initiate intercourse, but as a joke she, without warning and having never discussed choking in a sexual context, wraps her hands around his throat and squeezes, leaning down and going "say hi to Sohreh from me". He is shocked and freezes for a moment, Celeste is cackling, he rips her hands off and tosses her off. She's not allowed in his bedroom for at least a week after that.

[screamingcrows]

I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I FUCKING LOVE THIS! omg square the fuck up rhinedottir, come get a taste of these hands *Celeste is smacked once, falls to the ground, and doesn't get up*

I love this ashdgakjdshg. I'm printing this next chance I get and smacking it on my wall

August: “W-Wait. That’s just how she is.”

Celeste: “That’s a lousy excuse, August. She needs to learn some manners. I don’t care who this old lady is.”

August: “Celeste, please.”

Celeste: “Ugh, fine.”

surprise bestie ( @auphelia ) <3

[screamingcrows]

Sat down last night and figured out what Celeste looks like- at least what she usually looks like. Without legs and feet because I hate doing that. She wears boots.

The brooch to the left is what initially kicked off creating Celeste. I wanted a specific interaction with Dottore (before I'd started writing fanfic) and tried to get it into several x reader fics before finally caving and writing Choke Yourself to Sleep featuring Celeste.

It's given to her as a gift from Dottore when she's worked under him for six months and is a merge of his own insignia and the caduceus. In the fic, the brooch is described as 'A raven cradling the sun, it's eye red as blood.' but I was never really satisfied with that as it's too much just Dottore in my mind so I decided to change it.

She made the goggles herself within the first couple of weeks in Dottore's lab (using scrap parts she stole from various segments' projects) and they're akin to a stereo magnifier. They greatly aid her in her work and always have them close at hand.

I could rant about her outfit choices forever apparently but anyway- she's very much a practicality over appearance type when it comes to clothes.

[screamingcrows]

Hold me the way that you would (for the final time)

Note: Listen. This was uh- a spur of the moment thing. Takes place directly after Tie a tether here. Do not fucking feed this to ai, I'll get you Trypanosoma rhodesiense. Link to the not-a-series. Link to the song I took the title from Warnings/tags: MDNI, Dottore x female OC, mentions of previous self harm (specifically cutting, scratching), mild delusions (the psychotic kind, not the vision mimics), mild suicide ideations, mental breakdown, not established relationship, bad comfort. Minors, ageless, and blank blogs DNI

The faint buzzing of electro coming from various machinery was almost pleasant to Celeste's ears, giving her something else to focus on rather than the guilt currently sticking like a mass of tar in her throat, impossible to swallow around yet still not enough to cut off her air.

Dottore's incessant muttering as well. Why was he the only version seemingly incapable of communicating with the other segments without letting broken phrases spill from his lips. Maybe he wanted her to hear this? Hear as he no doubt berated her to them. Why would he rub it in like this, he wasn't cruel, was he?

Still, whatever words were spoken didn't reach her ears, everything swimming in her mind save for the buzz and a dull throb as unbidden voices rammed the weak fortifications Dottore's grip on her wrist provided. He was right, he always was, it didn't feel better, she just- it was all numb. How the voices always made her forget and coaxed to bloodshed was beyond her.

Stupid. Ah, when had she started crying again?

Slipping further and further from reality, Celeste barely noticed Dottore stopping, not when she smacked into the firm mass of muscle, not when grasped her chin and scrutinized her expression, not even when he gave up and threw her over his shoulder. There was only the faintest awareness that something wet was still trailing down her arms, dripping in a familiar enough trail into the depths of connected laboratories. At least it got to be severed from her.

It was with little fanfare that her body was deposited onto familiar cold metal, ears twitching as they barely picked up on a gruff 'down we go' from Dottore. Celeste could already feel the ghastly hands of her own subjects - victims - reaching from the blank surface, wrapping around her limbs and attempting to pull her under.

If this was death, then it felt wholly underwhelming. It was both numb and downright bland, no care left in her to be properly afraid as they whispered threats and promises of relief, slowly dragging her into a mirror that couldn't be worse than this. It was, after all, what she wanted wasn't it?

A shaky thumb, warmer than the others, almost comfortable, like porcelain after pouring a cup of tea, dragged across her cheek.

"You-" Celeste blinked, studying the face that hovered above her for an unnecessary amount of time, "you're not Delta."

"What an astute observation. As expected from my most brilliant assistant."

His clipped sarcasm didn't even sting, she deserved it for making mess after mess for him to clean up. Utterly worthless. Had there been a hint of exhaustion in his voice as well? He'd only just returned from a longer expedition, and here she was, causing problems.

"You said Delta would take care of," she gestured vaguely at herself, unable to pinpoint exactly what the poor segment could even hope to fix.

She wanted to offer doing it herself, but even through that damnable haze of cackling laughter and moving shadows, Celeste recognized the folly of thinking herself capable of anything. A minuscule comfort that she at least retained that level of awareness.

"Lying is hardly the worst sin you've seen me commit," it stung when he turned his back, and Celeste almost wanted to reach for him, feeling misery fill her lungs with every quickening breath he was away, "and will you kindly be quiet? It's impossible to focus."

Before she could protest, or even process the words, a rough palm placed itself gingerly on her shoulder, clearly trying to avoid any of the lacerations she'd left. Taking the hint, Celeste struggled to turn, face pressed against the cool metal as she closed her eyes, refusing to risk meeting that same abrasive reflection she'd seen in his bathroom.

"Celestia above." Hearing those words from his lips might have made her laugh under any other circumstances, now it was just a shameful reminder of how far she was truly pushing him.

A pained yelp escaped when fingers tangled in her hair, yanking firmly to lift her head. She had half a mind to hiss and writhe, tail already swishing vehemently when a familiar white coat was pushed under her head and she was carefully released.

Ground coffee and the sharpness of isopropyl did little to properly mask the earthy tones, he could've given her any of their lab coats, knowing there were always generous numbers scattered around the room, but this was so distinctly his. With her eyes closed, it almost felt like a hug. The fabric didn't stay dry for long as salty tears soaked into it.

It perfectly masked the inferno raging across her skin with the gentle press of cotton, washing away the crimson streaks in preparation. The fabric crumpled beneath in her grip, uncaring as sharp nails tore into it, better that than succumb to the urges to rend her own flesh in front of him. He'd already said there would be a scolding, what more would another thing ruined do?

How long had passed when a sting, far more tangible, had her body jolting back to reality was uncertain, but the hand swiftly pressing itself between her shoulder blades to weigh her down was no mirage.

"Oh for- stay still while I close this."

That got her immediate attention, attempting to twist under his iron grip, only prompting more hissed curses and a familiar - pleasant - scratch of something sharp tearing open the outermost layer of skin when his hand slipped.

"Keep that up and I won't hesitate to strap you to the damn table."

He'd properly snapped, like a wild beast, that hint of Beta's core showing itself as it only did when thoroughly stressed, whatever excursion he'd been on must've been bad. Or he was just angry with her. What little dignity was left made Celeste be grateful for the temporary relief as pain seared her nerves, calming down enough that Dottore's palm eased the pressure.

"Could've at least used a local anesthetic…"

"I certainly could," Dottore clicked his tongue, clearly struggling to keep his voice even, "but right now-"

The rest trailed off to a low murmur, just out of reach as Celeste strained her ears. But she understood the meaning. Of course she didn't deserve for this to be any semblance of pleasant. It made it easier to bite into the fabric and tune out the world, focused only on how it hurt, it was tangible and easy. She didn't even catch the shaky breath he took before picking the needle back up.

Focusing on the clatter of cages stacked in a corner, little rustles as the rodents went about their routines, soothed the remnants of unrest, her jaw slowly unlocking as she released the coat, now drenched in tears and saliva. The hands that rubbed carefully at her sides weren't the source of this borrowed serenity.

Neither did it bring any comfort when he came to sit on the edge of the table, hand refusing to part with her ruined shoulders.

"You've never once mentioned harboring these feelings"

"It's none of your business and-"

"It became my concern the moment-" his grip tightened for a moment, that thing akin to anger in his voice mellowing out as he continued, "the moment you decided to bleed out on my floor."

"-and I've told you multiple times that I felt empty," Celeste made certain her voice reflected the exhaustion in her bones, sniffling a little for good measure in a futile hope it might dissuade further arguments, "shouldn't be too hard to figure out the rest…"

"You should've been direct. As convenient as it would be, I've yet to fully devise an instrument letting me read your thoughts."

That caught Celeste's attention, turning her head to look at the man hovering above her. He looked about as plagued as she felt, captivating agnidus agates sunken into their sockets, cerulean hair tousled, and the telltale scruff that lined his jaw, firmly cementing his identity among them all. If she could, she'd wish to cut out parts of herself as well. Would it be better, she wondered, if parts of her could be killed?

That's not how it works.

"Fully?"

Tentative hints of a grin grazed his lips, the little flash of sharp teeth making her curl up just a little.

His eyes flashed, pushing her flat against the table again, "Quit it, I didn't stitch you up just to you tear them immediately," a sigh as she stilled before that small hint of relief reappeared, "it's good to see your curiosity remains unharmed."

"So you were bluffing."

"I do think calling it a 'jest' would be far more appropriate."

Annoying as it was, the distraction had brought the slightest hint of warmth to her chest. What a ridiculous idea, though she supposed what Omega and a few others had been tinkering with in the Akasha wasn't too far from it.

A sigh left her lips, moving slowly to sit beside him while wasting no time wrapping the white coat around her bare torso. It was frigid in there now that feeling was slowly returning.

"I'll go back to rest," Celeste hated how it came out as more of a question, about to add something to mask the uncertainty when Dottore perked up.

"Absolutely not," his grip shifted to just above her knee, "and that is non negotiable. I cannot force you to speak, but you are staying here until I am certain you can refrain from repeating this little stunt."

So much for escaping. Celeste brought a hand down to run across the back of his hand, uncertain how to proceed with how firm those words had been. It was an order, not a suggestion, which was surprisingly rare.

"Both of us need rest."

She couldn't help the amused snort at how he didn't even hesitate to gesture at the table they were seated upon in response. A pleasant chuckle echoed from his throat, and Celeste found herself relenting, leaning to lay back down whilst wiping at the salty tracks streaking across her cheeks.

"Incredible. Truly a marvel of comfort."

"If you want to be cross, there's the floor as well," a small pause, the air almost cloying with unspoken words, "you're certain you don't want to discuss what this was?"

Would it be better to just get it out, even if there was no solution or way to fix her like a machine with a few gears out of place, wasn't it still something to just say it aloud? But then there was the matter of explaining how everything had been crumbling for years. It was too personal.

And you will look weak. Weak and pathetic. You're probably on thin ice already.

Celeste nodded her head meekly, unable to look as Dottore let out a soft grunt and pushed away, moving with none of his usual suave towards a corner filled with clutter. Stacks of crates enthusiastically brought in and left half unpacked, someone really should do something about it… Before Celeste could mentally smack herself for already having volunteered herself in her mind, a blanket she usually used for keeping subjects warm before procedures landed beside her head.

"Make yourself comfortable then."

They were found by Omega at the crack of dawn, Dottore haphazardly laid out on his back, legs hanging off the side, an open notebook covering his face, and Celeste held tightly against his side.

[screamingcrows]

In honour of me getting confused by the order of my own fics (totally not a series); here's a list I'll be updating for my Dottore x Celeste...

Settling In (written as x reader)

Barely Right (x reader)

Chase (x reader)

Tomorrow (x reader)

Tie a Tether Here (x oc)

Hold me the way that you would (x oc)

Change of Pace (x reader)

Choke Yourself to Sleep (x oc)

[screamingcrows]

Celeste's character stories:

Character Details

Someone who lives to fit in will eventually have broken off too many pieces to recognise themselves. But what then is the better option; to make yourself loved where you are or trust fate to lead you where you belong? Broken down and with vengeance burning, Celeste decided that neither would be her answer, throwing away her life in Fontaine in favour of forging another path.

Playfully referred to as 'The Doctor's shadow', she now roams the halls of Zapolyarny Palace with assured steps. Outside of the laboratories, little is known about the details of her work except guards noting that the lower levels are busier now than ever.

Although it took a while to acclimate to Snezhnaya, Celeste herself seems quite satisfied with the current state of things, spending her days rotating between the labs, the Second's library, and her quarters. She now pursues results with ferocity and a dwindling concern for the means matching her superior's.

Only a fool would squander the opportunities she seized with the position.

Character Story 1

While Celeste holds no military rank within the Fatui, officially noted down as nothing more than an 'assistant', there are few who would refuse her requests, for she cannot give orders, and even fewer who would attempt to push her around.

A simple formality, the title does a poor job at describing her daily endeavours and would, in an academic setting, be more akin to Fontaine's 'Senior Researcher'. A rank she never had any hope of achieving.

While her work does indeed further The Second's own goals, it is often somewhat removed from his primary interests. An agreement was struck within the first week; she would be free to pursue her own goals so long as they did not hinder his ambitions and she could still fulfill the tasks he gave. She would be a researcher in all but name.

Celeste's main tasks are recorded as testing and monitoring biological changes following usage of delusions, abyssal energies, and the integration of alchemical and technical components into a living organism.

She will often lament that if these were her only tasks, there would be much more time for her own research. While the laboratory is always running, it rarely does so smoothly, and thus the position of assistant will also encompass breaking off fights instigated by volatile segments, completing maintenance on machinery, restocking supplies, and coordinating production of various weapons.

But should he ever attempt to make her fill out his monthly expense reports to the Regrator or fetch refreshments, depending on his tone, it isn't unlikely the papers would be torn to shreds or the coffee spiked. Without doubt, her most gruelling task is occasionally participating in meetings with other Harbingers as The Doctor's proxy.

Character Story 2

Though it was a modest upbringing, Celeste was never lacking in support from home. Two loving parents spent what time they had available with her, often bringing her to work when she needed a break from school.

It was easier to go with her mother, a singer, and sit through her rehearsals while drawing, reading, or exploring the endless rooms filled with costumes. But it was at Fontaine's Research Institute with her father that she felt truly entertained.

Rows of books lined his office and robotic components were scattered all along the ground, most discarded as faulty prototypes. While their functions were beyond her understanding, the principles behind how they moved and interacted had the child gleefully trying to imitate her father's designs.

Of course, a room filled with machinery was no suitable place to leave a child unattended, and so she was passed around between researchers whenever her father had meetings or was otherwise occupied. Quickly, Celeste found the wonders of robotics outcompeted by nature, glueing herself to the side of a visiting researcher from Sumeru's Amurta darshan.

A place in Sumeru's Akademiya was secured by the young teen, passing the entrance exams after months of intense preparation. On the day of her departure, she refused to step onto the boat that would take her to the rainforest. After hours of crying and pleading, her father picked her up with all the grace of an aging man and carried her home, making her favourite treat while her mother informed the Akademiya of the delay.

The day of her departure never came as Celeste found her cowardice punished when her mother passed from an infectious disease shortly after.

Years went by in a haze, gripped by paranoia that her actions would once more lead to harm she'd yet to consider. Eventually, her father convinced the young woman to enroll for further education in Fontaine.

Two gruelling years were spent studying law before dropping out. She found herself punished again when the Research Institute was blown to pieces, taking several researchers with it.

Character Story 3

A name is more than just a companion through life, something bestowed by parents before they could possibly know if their intentions would match the child. A name can be a hope for the future, a blessing, or a wish for what life should hold.

So relieved to finally have a child to call their own, Celeste's parents looked to the island floating in the sky and decided to tether their little girl to it.

If names brought a role, then isn't it natural to suppose someone named after where the divine resides would be destined for greatness?

The little girl did all she could to live up to those expectations, held by no one but herself. A hero was kind, loved by all, courageous, strong, and would never remain idle in the face of danger.

Always trying to befriend everyone, no matter what it took, she was easily goaded into just about anything. Forgiveness came easy with her teary eyes, always favoured by the adults for how much she cared for everyone.

It was exhausting. Worse still with no real friends to show for all her efforts, changing to fit the situation at every turn left her watered down and uninteresting unless in the middle of some stupid dare.

During sunny days, the children would often play by Fontaine's great 'sea'. All of them knew better than to brave the waters alone. Until someone suggested Celeste dive in from a stone to prove her courage.

It'd be fine. They could all swim right? Just dive and swim back to shore.

She went headfirst down onto a rock. Another little girl hurried and ran into the water upon seeing faint traces of red. Betrayed by the still surface, she was pulled out by a current and began to thrash around.

Panicked screaming erupted, children running to get an adult. Celeste had easily made it back, clutching her bleeding nose and blissfully unaware of the chaos for just a moment.

She froze. This was her fault. She should swim out and help, right? This was her responsibility. She should be able to do it. Her destiny was greatness, after all.

It was too late when adults arrived, Celeste's feet still firmly planted on the shore as she watched on in horror.

Character Story 4

It is all too easy to close your eyes and stumble blindly through the trenches of life, easier still to sit back and let it all unfold as a marionette on strings.

How many days had passed without feeling the fresh breeze against her skin was uncertain, every clock in the small apartment had been turned to face the wall, refusing to acknowledge the significance of their movement as she mourned for the third time.

The Institute was gone and there was no one to pick up the scraps of her left behind this time, and so they were allowed to fester and rot as she shattered every piece of delicate porcelain inherited years prior. The boxes filled with wires and plating still sat untouched, and the room closed off.

When there was nothing left to break, she turned instead to herself. What is left to do when fate itself has made you an enemy? As blood poured from her wounds, so too did the memories of a happy childhood, and she howled with pain as they too turned to pus.

Every instance of kindness became tainted. If only she'd followed through last time misfortune struck, she would've been spared this.

Dissatisfaction led not to change but acceptance instead. Acceptance that the strings that tied her to the world were more than a mortal could ever hope to challenge. Acceptance led to willful complacency, waiting for a prophesy that even without any remaining ties to Fontaine, she wouldn't bother to flee.

The sinners would be put to justice, such was the law, and by the carnage Celeste now saw everywhere around her, what else was there to do than wait for rightful punishment?

Character Story 5

Salvation arrived in the form of a kind smile and loving eyes, hands that grasped her shoulders and pulled until her body fell into his embrace.

Jules was everything she coveted; warm, adored, and effortlessly successful in all he attempted. For him, Celeste was dragged out of misery, the Institute honouring her father's memory and taking pity, offering her a position as assistant. That Jules happened to be in need of such only made it all the sweeter.

For a year, life consisted of work, candlelit dinners, operas, and confessions of undying love.

It was the perfect picture of young love, of salvation, happy in the way every happy home is. They did everything together, and gradually, Celeste found herself once more become involved with research, but no longer on the sidelines or hidden away by her father, shielded the consequences of messing with things she had no clearance for.

Jules valued the input and sharp mind that had begun to reawaken now that challenges were presented.

Keeping busy removes the opportunity to sit down and properly think, to examine the larger picture. While Celeste tinkered with prototypes of tiny mechanical beetles for surveillance, so happy with the present that the past was easily ignored and the future forgotten.

But what is an assistant if not a tool? And anything produced by a tool must belong to the wielder. A debt of gratitude can be repaid in a multitude of ways, and perhaps they should never be attempted paid at all.

Upon finding no hint of acknowledgement of her efforts, Celeste confronted her gentle lover with uncharacteristically brazen fury. It made it easy to brush her off as not only unreasonable but hysterical as well.

With anger and hatred weighing upon her heart, Celeste made the decision to never let herself be used so carelessly. No longer would she mindlessly go along with the wishes of others and the people who had exploited that weakness should be burned away.

Her hands shook as she packed a single bag, too blinded to stop and think and unwilling to glance back as she left her home behind. Careless plans of revenge were already forming in the fires of heartbreak, but there was only one way to secure the necessary resources for such ideas.

Delusion

"You've said yourself that I need to be able to defend myself. This is the logical next step, a simple weapon will only do so much when-"

"You are going to ruin your body."

"Do you have so little faith in my results?"

A deadly silence followed her question. Myriads of unspoken words hanging in the air around them both. The Doctor huffed before snatching up the glass orb and turning to leave without a glance at his frustrated assistant.

Two weeks later, Celeste entered her quarters late at night, having worked far longer than planned, annoyed with how absent her superior had been lately.

Upon her nightstand was an unfamiliar object, an intricately carved metal casing that held a crimson stone, embers of energy swirling within it. Beside it lay a hastily scribbled note, writing near illegible to the untrained eye; 'Do not make me regret this'

[screamingcrows]

🐾Hunt, heartbreak, desire for our favorite cat girl 🐾

Favourite catgirl? I'm gonna throw up (positive)

Hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert? A conspiracy she came up with as a child always lingers in the back of her mind; Celestia is out to punish her. She knows this is untrue, embarrassing, and foolish to think. But whenever strange coincidences happen, she can't help but get paranoid, this isn't particularly good for someone who's in the habit of seeking patterns and connections between things. Everytime something bad happens, she'll analyse every action that brought her there to figure out what could've been the trigger for her 'punishment'.

Heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened? She was in a relationship with another research assistant while working at Fontaine's Research Institute! He helped her come a little out of her shell and was a pretty good guy up front. The details haven't been fleshed out in my mind yet, but uh, they had a pretty bad breakup before Celeste left for Snezhnaya. Anyway after Chase, he's dead.

Desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it? Celeste will tell you that she wants to be free, that that is her ultimate goal. In reality, she wants more than anything to be known and appreciated, ironic since she's hellbent on putting up an uncaring demeanor. She would probably mellow out once she has that security, but after what led her to leave Fontaine behind, it'll be a while before she's open with that again. The only thing she refuses to do to achieve her goals is ask for help.

[screamingcrows]

Fatui agent 1: "I heard The Second is shredded"

Fatui agent 2: "I heard he has an eight pack"

Fatui agent 1: "I heard his power rivals a go-"

Celeste: "Dottore looks like a slice of dried peach underneath that coat"

[screamingcrows]

nightmare and mask!

You inquired about nightmares so I'm sending good dreams your way (❁´◡`❁)

Nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself? Celeste doesn't often remember her dreams but she will occasionally wake up drenched in sweat and heart beating out her chest. A feeling of being chased usually lingers for a time afterwards along with memories of voices she doesn't know screaming at her. She has trouble falling asleep afterwards. When her and Dottore start sharing a bed, he quickly realises that she has nightmares even if she never says anything about it. If she starts moving around in her sleep, he'll bring her against him and it always seems to calm her down. Celeste doesn't understand why she's stopped waking up in the middle of the night, but who'd she be to look a gift horse in the mouth?

Mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask? She does have one of the standard Fatui masks! (And is always scheming to steal Webtorre's) Celeste appears more composed and apathetic than she is, a strategy she's found to be the most effective in aiding her goals. Her parents knew her without that facade and Dottore will with time, right now though The Marionette is probably the one who's seen Celeste's truest face.

[screamingcrows]

Alone, bound, break >:)

(:< okay that looks uncomfortable as hell I regret my decision to mirror

Alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them? Celeste would say that she's always been alone and that she's learned it's better for everyone if it stays that way. She keeps going like nothing is wrong, claims it doesn't matter to her, alone or not she'll achieve her goals. In reality, it eats away at her and she desperately wants the support and companionship of at least one person. She was completely alone for a time as a teenager, her mother died and her father had to spend six months away for work, Celeste insisted she was old enough to take care of herself. She journeyed to Snezhnaya alone as well, arguably a bad idea. She acts a little silly when no one is looking, her heritage (kätzlein) affects some of her mannerisms although she hides it well normally. Knocks things over for no good reason, makes sounds out of nowhere, that kind of stuff.

Bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars? At this point in time nope! No prison for Celeste, although she briefly studied law and that sure felt like it in her opinion. She will be captured and held prisoner, I won't go into detail now, it's gonna leave scars on more people than just her tho...

Break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest? Celeste has broken down multiple times, mostly as a kid. Honorable mentions are; seeing her best friend die, meeting the hydro archon, losing her parents, but the one thing that will always make her break down is when she realises she has no purpose. She's the type who will encounter a difficult time and bury herself in something else, fixating on it to block out unpleasant feelings. Once that distraction is gone... well, that's when all her doubts and fears let themselves be known. Dottore is probably the only person still alive who's seen her at her lowest, it's not pretty that's for sure. She doesn't lash out or anything, but takes it out on herself and engages in coping strategies she knows are unhealthy.

[screamingcrows]

Celeste: "I want to rail you"

Dottore: ...

Celeste: "But like, in a trolley problem kind of way"

[screamingcrows]

pain, secret, and hide for the beloved celeste 🙏🏻 (i’m her biggest fan real)

She's lucky to have you as her biggest fan 🥹😭

Pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance? Physically at least (for now), it's when she wanted to dive head-first into the water as a kid and knocked her face right into a rock, she was inconsolable for hours. Maybe her memory is making her remember that as more painful than it actually was but yknow... Psychologically, worst pain is living believing she's a bad luck charm and responsible for every instance of misery around her. Her pain tolerance isn't particularly high, which is a somewhat sensitive topic 💀

Secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them? It's funny because this is actually a very inconsequential thing in the grand scheme of things. Celeste can in fact swim just fine.

Hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it? Physically; Celeste refuses to wear anything with a low neckline, she hides the area around her chest and sternum! She's got some pretty bad scarring around that area and isn't comfortable letting people see, very simple. Mentally; a lot.