#crowboy arg

[chutty2thiq]

ALL ABOUT CHUT

Hey, birdies! This is for you, so you can get to crow me better! Ha-ha!

Full legal name: Chutty Qwuiquie Slutovich

Home address: Tumblebook Library, North Plotly Street

Relationship status: Happily married to my main crow @crowyscornerxx

State of wellness: Unrelenting

Favorite type of animal: The North Austrian ground snail (Hemetomaphosphaticlitoris)

Home country: France, Russia, Chad, the United States of America, Latvia, Czech Republic, Slovakia, the Mongol Empire, Uzbekistan

Favorite holiday: St. Petersburg

Politics: Opinions of laws and the administration

Favorite past job: Assistant to Genghis Khan

Favorite flavor: Chartreuse

FAQ

Q: Hey, Chutty! Have you ever traveled outside the country?

A: No!

Q: Do you have some marijuana I can borrow?

A: Sorry, all out of stock!

Q: How is Genghis Khan doing nowadays?

A: Swimmingly!

[chutty2thiq]

ay where the crows at

I glare at the mirror glass, inspecting every inch of my visage. Just a small rectangle of reflective glass, and yet it has grown to become my biggest adversary. The details are blurred, twisting with time as I stare. I meet my gaze, and I try to find something meaningful in the beads embedded in my skull. The longer I search, the greater my doubt grows that I may ever find something worth my time. How long have I sat here, scrutinizing every stitch in the fabric of my being? Long enough to have become unrecognizable. I know myself to be a pigeon—it is deeply ingrained in my identity. I am as much a pigeon as the sun is a star. I have nanobots in my blood and breadcrumbs in my soul, I fly with my Columbidae brethren through valleys and plains, and I wear my feathers with pride. Why is it that whenever I stare at that wretched mirror, I see a penguin? I have spent more time pondering this phenomenon than not. My talons transform into hideous webs, and in a minuscule moment, I go from soaring the skies to sliding across an arctic wasteland. The miracle of flight has been captured and taken away to a secret place only the Columbidae know—all of them but me. I am in a constant state of limbo, frozen eternally between pigeon and penguin. How can I free myself from this uncertain eternity? How can I solidify my fate as a pigeon forevermore?

[chutty2thiq]

thems right there is chuts Spotify Wrapped!

thank you to @mitski for a great year!

[chutty2thiq]

sometimes, i take long caws alone on the beach at night... the wind in my feathers, and i think, man. c'est la vie!

Sometimes, I wonder what the ocean is trying to tell me. Even as I try to ignore them, the voices of the waves find their way into my ears through conchs and the sand beneath my feet. There are a thousand dead voices all humming synchronously, pulling my eyes shut and lulling me to sleep face down in the tide. The waves lap over the shore day by day, mercilessly stealing away everything in their wake, capturing even the faintest semblance of humanity that may remain. There is nothing you can do—the sand and the water will always remember. They carry fragments of memory with them across the seas, allowing them to break off into smaller pieces and settle in the furthest corners of the ocean floor. There they lie alone, rotting and fermenting under the salt, dissolving and becoming one with the infinite beast that encapsulates them. I still remember when it took you. It stole you from my clutch and carried you away to someplace sacred, and you became merely another whisper in the waves right before my eyes. The bay forgot, but I carried the primordial liquid in my soul and slowly drowned in your demise, no matter my distance from you. I tried to find you, but instead, I lost myself. It all ends as quickly as it comes.

like and subscribe if you relate!

[chutty2thiq]

Let's go Brandon! C'mon, buddy, sing it! Ha-ha! @haroooo

[chutty2thiq]

weehou weehou my cheeks are spread for the beak of god.

[chutty2thiq]

thoughts on the industrial revolution?

oh, goodness, how i love this question! i have been waiting for somebody to grace these words in my inbox since far prior to the gilded age. je t'aime! the industrial revolution was a close friend of mine back in '74, but unfortunately, we haven't been in touch lately. i should tweet em up and check it out! the commonfolk arent privy to this scandal, but the industrial revolution and I had a bit of a cheeky affair back in our day. oh, the glory days of chutty2thiq. how I do love reminiscing on the golden past of this nation! thank you generously for this grandiose ask of yours, anonymous tumblr user. twinkle twinkle little tumble, how I wonder what you fumble! you know, back in the day, I used a fumble a bit every now and again. yeah, that's right! is it hard for you to imagine me engaging in such a scandalous event? beacoup! so, today, I wonder how you are doing. please do share! i was talking to franklin yesterday, and he informed me that he will be the 5th annual presenter of the grandmothers! watch out for nana, chat! keep yer hats on em! so, franklin was informing me about this, and I thought it to be a rather scrupulous and inscrutable happenstance. irregardlessly, I was speaking to une chouette on Tuesday, and oh boy, that lass can entertain a chap! i took her out to the soda fountain and we shared a milkshake with two straws! oh, goodness, how red my feathers turn at the mere recollection! farewell!

[chutty2thiq]

"Cinq nuit chez Freddy's, est-ce où tu veux d'être?"

- William Shakespeare

[chutty2thiq]

hey, why not? hey, can you hear me? what the fuck! merde! merde! merde!