#criminal underworld blah blah

[purplepotatobread]

Just reading the Bone Season (finally) and all of a sudden there are aliens????

[kxllerblond]

I missed making cringe longer form videos. tumblr is going to EAT the quality but whatever!!!! i love my dangerous little criminal man!!!

[irisintheafterglow]

um blah blah blah something about knight!katsuki tearing through panicked crowds to find you slumped behind a knocked-over table, paling when he sees the growing red patch under the hand on your side.

"shit," is all he manages to force out, and it's all he can say for the next thirty seconds while he tries to figure out how to get you out of here. "no, no, no. you're not fine, dumbass," he snaps when you insist that you're fine. he registers a figure sprinting towards him with an axe and throws a dagger from his belt without even thinking, the assailant falling onto the dirt. "this is all your fault," he mutters as he pulls you from under the table and into a nearby alley.

"i can't believe you're blaming me for my own assassination attempt," you exhale shakily, your breathing too uneven for his liking. "all i wanted was to pick some flowers."

"we could have had the flowers brought to the palace," he argues, raking a nervous hand through his hair. "but you wanted to see them straight from the farmer's market."

"there's not much we can do now that i am bleeding out," you groan, fighting down the bile in your throat when you see how red your hand has become. katsuki's hand gently but firmly grips your wrist, forcing it out of your field of vision.

"don't look at it. just look at me," he commands, scarlet eyes revealing his panic. for the first time in your history together, katsuki looked scared. "just keep looking at me, okay? i'm gonna move you to a safehouse a few blocks away."

"no, please," you plead with him, grabbing his wrist before he can loop his arms under your legs. "it hurts when i move."

"the other option is for you to die, princess, and i'm not letting that happen," he swears. "i shouldn't have ever let this happen to you in the first place."

"it's not your fault," you whisper, your thumb smearing red across his cheekbone.

"isn't it, though?" the expression of pure grief on your knight's face disappears in an instant and, before you can protest, katsuki lifts you from the ground like you weighed nothing at all. you muffle a broken cry into your hand and squeeze your eyes tight against his chest, shaking from the white-hot arc of pain cutting your side. "just stay with me, princess. you're gonna be okay."

"it hurts, kats," you sob quietly and a part of him dies. "it hurts so much."

"i know it does, baby. just stay with me and the pain will go away soon."

katsuki isn't there when you wake up in the palace infirmary, but the news of the pub bloodbath where several members of the criminal underworld were being investigated reached you eventually. your knight was supposed to be leading the investigation, but dragon keeper kirishima revealed that, after the attack in the market, he had taken matters into his own hands.

he had a single thought as he inserted his dripping sword back into its sheath. long live the princess as long as he lived.

[lazycowboy666]

the Gokudera vs. Shittopi fight is so fucking important to me in terms of character development yes okay but it is also objectively hilarious primarily because Shittopi spends so much time PRESENTING a PREPARED PORTFOLIO on why Tsuna is cringe fail by Japanese society standards

and Gokudera is like “and what” which yes is proving that he’s loyal to Tsuna through thick and thin blah blah friendship yes

but in reality telling Gokudera that because Tsuna has shit grades, cannot do sports, and is a simp for one (1) girl, he’s inherently “bad” or “not worthy of respect” and then expecting Gokudera to go “oh shucks that’s embarrassing, I never knew, I need to leave immediately”

when Gokudera has questionable moral standards at best and dips into Blue-Orange territory in parts of the series… this kid who has operated in the criminal underworld since birth, throws live explosives at people who annoy him, has repeated punched and kicked a literal toddler, tried to get Tsuna to peep with him on Lal that one time, barely reacts when enemies die, and oh yeah LITERALLY ENDED LIVES FOR MONEY as a hitman

is so fucking funny to me

like why the hell would you think he’d care about that

this kid has never been to public school (prior to being sent to Namimori as a “transfer student” with the express purpose of ending Tsuna’s life) and does not see the point of tests or being on time or conforming to uniforms or hierarchy or anything related to being a student, he just shows up because his boss is there

this kid does not understand how sports (especially team-based ones) are even remotely compelling which translates to animosity towards jocks

this kid is viscerally uncomfortable with the attention he gets from fangirls to the point of yelling at them to leave him alone when they ask him for dates/attention

of course he doesn’t care! he also regularly beats up the people who call Tsuna “no good” because of these things!

it’s so funny to me

[koizumicchi]

See me (nqrse ft. VACON) English Translation

See me  nqrse ft. VACON

Official MV

���–

T/N: It’s been a long time since their collab. Thank you for this, nqrse-san!! 

Keep in mind that Japanese and English aren’t my first language. I never claim my translation (attempts) to be error-free. As always, if you’re going to use or reference my translations, please do not claim it as your own and credit me.

—–

かき集める wannabe Kakiatsumeru wannabe Gather up, wannabe

We're calling the marabi

We're walking merrily, merrily down the street Can a voice seen

wow wow... There's No Way 

頭にクラウンつけたボーガス 後ろに盾がなけりゃ勿論ノープラン サラのキャンパス  交わらない感覚 散り際にワンチャンスあげて蹴らしゃ むしろ痛手なワンバース

Atama ni kuraun tsuketa bōgasu Ushiro ni tate ga nakerya mochiron nōpuran Sara no kyanpasu majiwaranai kankaku Chiri kiwa ni wanchansu agete kerasha Mushiro itade na wanbāsu

Some bogus with a crown in his head A nonexistent shield behind me, of course, there is no plan Sara’s campus, sensations that never cross The one chance on the verge of falling, give it up and kick it Better yet, give it a hard blow with one verse

それはそれで  あくまで君の場合 代わりがいりゃそれは趣味の範囲 その小さいものさしに意味もない こちらはとっくにクリミナル・マインド 気分高めのモブがマイクで全て網羅 ビートの上を自由自在

Sore wa sore de akumade kimi no baai Kawari ga irya sore wa shumi no han'i Sono chīsai monosashi ni imi mo nai Kochira wa tokkuni kuriminaru maindo Kibun takame no mobu ga maiku de subete mōra Bīto no ue o jiyūjizai

And thus, the situation to the bitter end If there’s an alternative, then that’s within the scope of my hobby That small measure has no significance This is already a criminal mind long ago Mood-boosting mobs encompass it all with a mic A complete mastery on the beat

“NQ” in the building, blah

静まれwow これで捉える  Everybody  罵声も歓声 そちらはピュア・ピュア・ピュアな感性でお変わりないね ｢いや、今聞きな｣

Shizumare wow Kore de toraeru eburibadi basei mo kansei Sochira wa pyua pyua pyua na kansei de okawarinai ne ‘iya, ima kiki na’

Quiet down, wow I’ll ensnare everybody with this, the cheers and the jeers too You over there, your pure pure pure sensitivity never changes, huh. “No, listen to me now.”

この上じゃ札付き物 すり抜けて行く罠  泥だらけのまま 周りはBoomers Rumors  Boomers Rumors 帰りな  周波数が狂うわ ああ  交わらない上に  Spitすれば空を切る 足りねえ 足りねえ 足りねえ

Kono ue ja fuda tsukimono Surinukete iku wana doro darake no mama Mawari wa Boomers Rumors Boomers Rumors Kaeri na shūhasū ga kuruu wa Aa majiwaranai ue ni Spit sureba kuu wo kiru Tarinē tarinē tarinē

I don' t give a damn about it all

This is an essential with tags on top The trap I can slip through remains covered in mud Around me, Boomers, Rumors, Boomers, Rumors Just go back, the frequency’s unstable Ah, in addition to never crossing, if I spit, I’ll cut through the sky It’s not enough, not enough, not enough

We must go, revive again

冥土の土産にどう？ プレーゴ・ボナペティート Don't look away  STOP IT, PEOPLE イイ  Rap  は美容にもイイよ なあ  頃合だろ  気付こうぜ We have to let'em out of the closet “Values are distorted.” 持ち上げちゃうのだぁれ？ You'd better stop posing  在るが儘  Flaunt it 逸する常軌  Kill kitty copycat This is where it's at That is barely grasped  Filled with gas! その胸にだけ問え  真価を I'm strollin' zingaro  傍らには久しい顔 懇切丁寧  It's a waste of time explaining Forget about it! Just call me baby  Headphone date  両耳塞いで

Meido no miyage ni dou? Pureego bonapetiito Don’t look away STOP IT, PEOPLE Ii Rap wa biyou ni mo ii yo Naa koroai daro kizukou ze We have to let ’em out of the closet “Values are distorted.” Mochiagechau no daare? You’d better stop posing aru ga mama Flaunt it Issuru jouki Kill kitty copycat This is where it’s at That is barely grasped Filled with gas! Sono mune ni dake toe shinka wo I’m strollin’ zingaro katawara ni wa natsukashii kao Konsetsu teinei It’s a waste of time explaining Forget about it! Just call me baby Headphone date ryou mimi fusaide

How about some souvenirs from the underworld? Prego, bon appetit Don’t look away STOP IT, PEOPLE An excellent Rap is also a perfect fit for beauty Hey- it’s the perfect time, be aware of it We have to let ’em out of the closet “Values are distorted.” Who’s gonna praise us to the sky? You’d better stop posing; as you are, flaunt it Deviate from the norm; Kill kitty copycat This is where it’s at That is barely grasped Filled with gas! Only ask the true worth from that heart of yours I’m strollin’ zingaro, a nostalgic familiar face by my side Careful and thorough, It’s a waste of time explaining Forget about it! Just call me baby; Headphone date, and cover both ears

You excited?  流行り廃りに  Sensitive  な迷子 Henna Tatto  引っ剥がして  I'll astound you Do you think it's a storm in a teacup It's bound to stir up  声高に  We are

You excited? hayari sutari ni Sensitive na maigo Henna Tattoo hippagashite I’ll astound you Do you think it’s a storm in a teacup It’s bound to stir up kowadaka ni We are

You excited? Going in and out of style, a sensitive child astray Henna Tattoo, I’ll rip it off, I’ll astound you Do you think it’s a storm in a teacup It’s bound to stir up; loudly, We are

この上じゃ札付き者 すり抜けて行く罠　泥だらけのまま 周りはBoomers Rumors Boomers Rumors 帰りな　周波数が狂うわ ああ　交わらない上に　Spitすれば空を切る 足りねえ足りねえ足りねえ

Kono ue ja fuda tsukimono Surinukete iku wana doro darake no mama Mawari wa Boomers Rumors Boomers Rumors Kaeri na shūhasū ga kuruu wa Aa majiwaranai ue ni Spit sureba sora wo kiru Tarinē tarinē tarinē

I don' t give a damn about it all

This is an essential with tags on top The trap I can slip through remains covered in mud Around me, Boomers, Rumors, Boomers, Rumors Just go back, the frequency’s unstable Ah, in addition to never crossing, if I spit, I’ll cut through the sky It’s not enough, not enough, not enough

We must go, revive again

ただ突っ立って待ってりゃ迎えに行くよ キャリーな気分？ No　歪みきった基準正すだけ

Tada tsuttatte matterya mukae ni iku yo Kyarii na kibun? No yugami kitta kijun tadasu dake

If you just stand around, do nothing, and wait, I’ll come pick you up Feeling like Carrie? No. Just correct the distorted norms

UMBRELLA for rain, and CURE for your pain.. STUPID Anyway I let you say “It’s just what I wanted!”

昔からさ　“今日”じゃねぇ フラッシュバックする交差点　We just go straight ahead We got no time to 右顧左眄 Cause I’ve been here before　だからもうヤメ Kid stuff 靡くんじゃ興醒め ほら　次のが欲しくなる　Because of me “I’m on my way.” Shout without a loud-speaker I’m particular ’bout 履き潰したスニーカー

Mukashi kara sa “kyou” janee Furasshu bakku suru kousaten We just go straight ahead We got no time to uko saben Cause I’ve been here before dakara mou yame Kid stuff nabikun ja kyouzame Hora tsugi no ga hoshiku naru Because of me “I’m on my way.” Shout without a loud speaker I’m particular bout hakitsubushita suniikaa

Long ago, you see, it’s not “today” Do a flashback at the intersection, We just go straight ahead We got no time to hesitate  Cause I’ve been here before, so no more Kid stuff, yielding and losing interest Look, I start to want what’s next; Because of me “I’m on my way.” Shout without a loud speaker I’m particular bout, my worn out pair of sneakers

(I don’t give a damn about it)

I don’t give a damn about it all この上じゃ札付き者 すり抜けて行く罠　泥だらけのまま 周りはBoomers Rumors Boomers Rumors 帰りな　周波数が狂うわ ああ　交わらない上に　Spitすれば空を切る 足りねえ足りねえ足りねえ We must go, revive again

Kono ue ja fudatsuki mono Surinukete iku wana doro darake no mama Mawari wa Boomers Rumors Boomers Rumors Kaeri na shuuhasuu ga kuruu wa Aa majiwaranai ue ni Spit sureba kuu wo kiru Tarinee tarinee tarinee We must go, revive again

I don' t give a damn about it all

This is an essential with tags on top The trap I can slip through remains covered in mud Around me, Boomers, Rumors, Boomers, Rumors Just go back, the frequency’s unstable Ah, in addition to never crossing, if I spit, I’ll cut through the sky It’s not enough, not enough, not enough

We must go, revive again

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (747): Wed 3rd Apr 2024

I rewatched one of my favourite movies of all time: Vanishing Point. To casual moviegoers the plot of the movie sounds dull, a car delivery man speeds his way from Colorado to California while the police give chase. However the joy of the movie is getting to spend time with the driver Kowalski and trying to understand his motives. You really don't get character study movies like this one any more. Movies where you spend a few hours in a character's company and make up your mind about what kind of person he is. Throughout the movie we see various flashbacks to incidents in Kowalski's life namely him crashing his car during a professional race and the time he was a cop and he saved a girl from being raped by one of his coworkers which led to him being fired. My own personal interpretation of the film is that these are not flashbacks, they are fantasies. I think something happens just before the events of the movie which makes Kowalski think he has wasted his life and that before he dies he wants to have at least one big adventure. That's why he makes a bet with his friend that he can get the car to California in four days even though it doesn't need to be there for a week. Throughout the journey the things he sees prompt fantasies in his head as he imagines how his life could have been. This is also a beautifully choreographed film with extreme stunts being performed with no reliance on CGI. There's one stunt where we get a shot of Kowalski driving his car along the bottom of an embankment shot from the perspective of the police car at the top. Kowalski then drives up the embankment across the police cars path and runs him off the road. My one gripe about the film is the music. The framing device of the movie is that there is a DJ named Super Soul who hears about Kowalski's police chase and sympathises with him. Throughout the movie we hear the songs Soul plays on Kowalski's radio. The trouble is since this film was made in the early seventies the songs are mostly soul a genre I'm not a fan of. If this had been made 10 - 15 years later it would have had a heavy metal soundtrack and this would probably bump Vanishing Point up to being my all time favourite movie (Even though it's currently still in my top ten). Later on I tuned into tonight's Hollyoaks which featured more bollocks from Mercedes and Warren. At the start of the episode we saw Mercedes texting someone known only as F and leaving the audience to speculate on who it might be. I suspected that it could possibly be Flounder from the Little Mermaid but thinking about it now this would've been very unlikely. He wasn’t much help in the film so he’d be even less handy on dry land. Anywho it turned out to be Freddie Roscoe and to be honest I quite out of the loop during the Roscoe family years so I'm not exactly sure why he's been brought in by Mercedes to combat Warren. Does he have some ties to the criminal underworld similar to Warren or does he know MMA or something? I'm so glad Warren is leaving that I actually might just start skipping whenever he's on screen since I don't care what his exit storyline will be. There was a moment where Warren had a heart to heart with Norma where she reminded him that Mercedes is carrying his child….yes he actually needed reminding. Then Warren went round to Mercedes for a heart to heart. Even during his last weeks on the show theyre still trying to get us to sympathise with this character? He went round to Mercedes heart and tried to reconcile and fucking BLAH BLAH BLAH. He smashed up her house & now thinks a simple apology will fix things? He started off as a decent character who was portrayed as a bit dodgy but only hurt those who hurt the ones he loved so occasionally I could sympathise with him. But for the last few years his switches between good & bad have felt so arbitrary that I just don’t care about him any more. Awful character. Terribly written. Just PISS OFF! Can't wait till he's gone

[skinnymeanfaggot]

oh shit i just saw you reblogged the post with the numbers ill send some of those too. 22 and 23 for javier, 9 and 12 for anim, and 29 and 37 for zora?

22. i think javier likes a lot of things about a lot of people, hes very like Humans are good and he likes how little things can make people happy, he likes people who are happy and optimistic in spite of life. he can totally understand why people Would be jaded but he just does like a lot when people are able to see the good in things. he likes animals, he likes people who like animals. he likes people who are funny but not super mean about it

23. as a therapist and also as, a decent person javier can understand having a lack of empathy but what really gets him is just the callous disrespect and harm to other humans. like in his mind theres no (very few) reasons to hurt others. just like! be nice to people. try to be good to others. make the world a better place.other than morality i think like, its hard for him to actively dislike a person, or like. he tries to repress his dislike for stuff because he believes its not important and tries to see the benefit of the doubt and hes probably just overreacting and blah blah.

but just like people who are super full of themselves and look down upon other people annoy him (anim). people who are purposefully spiteful and rude annoy him (anim). if youre an abuser he will kill you, unless you abused him, in which he will be sad but he cant really hate people who hurt him because he has issues. if you hurt someone else he will be furious but if youre bad to him he will be like hey :( and dislike the treatment but chances are he will make excuses and find a way to like you anyways.

9. yes! growing up anim lived in a like, mid, slightly mid lower? class household? they were fine but there were 6 of them. they would get hand-me-downs not because their family couldnt afford new stuff but just, you have two older brothers. it makes sense.

as an adult they went from, having Literally nothing for a brief time, then poor, and now like, very comfortable. just flat out rich. they get paid WELL by zora and they will flaunt the fuck out of it. a lot of why they work for her is the manipulation/feeling indebted/feeling like theres nothing else they can do, but like. they totally stick around for the pay. they like it. very very easy to forget your morals when you get a LOT of money for the murderings

12. bold to assume theyre ever calm. jk definitely it would be times with javier or kylin, because javier makes them feel genuinely safe and with kylin they love her and have fun with her so its hard to be anxious. unless shes like doing wild teenage shit

29. i never really ever to this day defined what zoras current "job" is besides something something probably a politician something something mob boss/underworld criminal. and she inherited that from her mom and a part of it was "my moms cool i wanna be like her" but like? as a kid? if she never got into that? like if her mom was different? can honestly see her as an artsy type. like creator of or connoisseur of fine arts. maybe a writer or poet. i just picture her as the same type of lesbian woman in pitch black but instead of being evil shes attending art shows or something

37. this is tough... i think like, she would recognize that maybe shes not "honorable" due to the horrors. like she fully believes shes in the right and has done nothing wrong ever. but in any case i think she prioritizes status. again she doesnt Entirely recognize that shes the villain but if she did she would be ok with it.

[artemiseamoon]

Be The Shark Or Get Eaten

Lady Crimson (my oc) ft. Sharon Carter | oneshot

Warnings: criminal underworld

An: one of my many long standing drafts, collecting dust. This was inspired by TFATWS, specifically life in Madripoor. My oc came to mind instantly. I’ve said before Sharon Carter annoyed me in the movies and seemed like such a filler character. But I did like her in this. She went from blah to interesting to me. I’m also soft for art x lesbians /queer women and morally grey women. So yeah. I didn’t expand the idea behind this yet, so just sharing as it it. I have 147 drafts 😩 I hope to clear some out over the coming months.

Madripoor wasn’t for the faint of heart. Morality, a sense of decency, and any aversion to excess is best left on the other side of the bridge. If you want to do right, if you want to be good and play by the rules, Madripoor will eat you alive.

Madripoor’s underbelly is run by crooks, masterminds, manipulators, smugglers and those willing to do whatever it takes so survive. Be the shark or get eaten.

The city is full of criminals, every type you could imagine. But it’s not always the best place to hide, despite it being known as a criminal safe haven. Some in Madripoor will do anything for a big pay day.

The rate of captured bounties in the city is high. The only way for a wanted person to survive, and not get caught, is to outsmart everyone else and create a believable and fool proof identity. Just as important as that; don’t get close, to anyone. Privacy = survival.

Friends in high places helps, sometimes, but no one really is your friend in Madripoor. At least not in the underbelly, the high rises, the well off crowds. Even in a crowd, everyone laughing, hugging and enjoying themselves, it’s still every woman (man, person) for themselves.

One of the best things a person could do is align themselves with the big bosses and the Power Broker, but even that, didn’t come with guarantees, not long standing ones anyway.

Club Lilith, Friday night

Lady Crimson made her way through the dance floor, observing the crowd as they drank and danced. She took ownership of this place 4 years ago, and it’s still the hottest club in town. Madripoor is full of places to party, and of the top 10, half belong to her.

Over the last 5 years, her name has become synonyms with nightlife, parties, and the most elite gatherings. What started years ago as underground parties has now grown to an empire.

Lady Crimson is one of the top 12 wealthiest people in Madripoor. In a city of people making their riches by illegal means, it wasn’t an easy ranking to get.

Making her way to the third floor, she stepped into the waiting room of her office to see a familiar face. In the far left of the room, a large canvas. The three men leave the room after the blonde signaled to them.

“I’ve been here for 16 minutes.” She tops off her drink at the bar.

“I was busy,” Crimson grinned, her eyes darted to the glass, two fingers of whiskey, “you helped yourself I see.”

“I don’t have time to wait.” Sharon, drink in hand, walked over to the canvas. “ the Guillaume, hand delivered as requested.”

Crimson sauntered over to it, taking her sweet time. Standing before it, her smile widened as she took in the imagery.

“You have grossly overcharged for this, Carter,” her eyes briefly leave the painting. She makes eye contact with Sharon, who is already watching her. “It’s criminal,” a sly foxlike grin lingers on her lips, “bad girl.”

Sharon grinned in response.

“I’ll forgive it,” Crimsons eyes return to the painting, “I’ve been searching for this for many years,” she hovers her hand over the painting. The silver bracelets stacked on her wrist jingled, “well worth the inflation.”

Sharon sipped her drink as her eyes wandered. Yes, the Guillaume is a breathtaking piece, Sharon was almost tempted to keep it for herself. But it’s not what has her attention.

Lady Crimson is hard to ignore. Tall, athletic, a beautiful face with striking green eyes. She could often be found decorating herself with dark heavy makeup, leather, crushed velvet, and sheer fabrics. Her look is best described as goth underground meets high fashion. She liked wigs, and often had a different hair color each time you saw her.

Crimson, like most smart people in Madripoor is mysterious, and keeps herself that way. No one knows anything about her, where she came from, or who she was before coming here 10 years ago.

There’s something fox like about her, and from the very first meeting, it drew Sharon in. There’s also a clever quality to Crimsion, and a look in her eye like she know more than anyone else around her.

She’s also one of the people who seem completely unintimidated by Sharon’s rise in the ranks and title as Power Broker. It’s Madripoor, someone always wants what you have, challengers come left and right. Sharon had seen plenty, and there will always be more to come.

But Crimson didn’t care about that, or display any interest in taking the role for herself. She just liked to test Sharon. She’d be late on purpose, make Sharon wait, challenge her prices. At first, it frustrated Sharon, now, through she won’t admit it, she finds it entertaining, maybe even looks forward to it.

Sharon didn’t care who anyone was, as long as she got paid and kept her status. She can’t recall the last time she even found herself curious about a person, and their real identity.

Crimson took a step back from the painting. Her eyes are still glued to it when she speaks,

“If you ever get your hands on an Acacio,” her eyes meet Sharon’s, “I’ll pay you whatever you want.”

Sharon put the empty drink down. The small raise of her brow gets Crimsons attention.

“You have one?” Crimson walked over to her.

“You’re mistaken.” Sharon slid her hands in her pockets, her eyes locked on Crimsons.

A wide jokers grin lights up Crimsons face, she steps into Sharon’s personal space.

“How much?”

“Did I say I have one?” Sharon keeps her poker face, her eyebrows still. Crimsons always been able to catch her micro expressions, even if no one else does. She also suppresses her excitement.

Anabela Acacio is one Sharon’s favorite artists. The photographer /painter moved Sharon to tears the first time she saw her work. Though the artist is long gone now, and only saw medium level fame during her time, she amassed a huge cult following.

Sharon also found her work later in life, a couple of years before the snap when she was dealing with her newly realized identity as a bisexual woman. Something always felt like it was missing, there was always a hunger left in her, one the men she bedded couldn’t fill. Once Sharon realized her true identity, it changed everything. And discovering the underground queer icon, Anabela Acacio, at the same time was life changing.

Not that Sharon needed much to deepen her draw to Crimson, but the fact that she knows Acacio, it nearly makes Sharon crumble on the spot.

“You’ve grown quiet, Carter,” Crimson leaned forward slightly, she can see an almost unnoticeable shift in Sharon’s breathing, “you do have one.”

Sharon’s lips part as they hold each-others gaze. Her eyes drop briefly to Crimsions lips, full soft looking lips painted a deep red, vampire red.

Crimson catches her, and smirks, “how much?”

“Never said I had one,” Sharon pulled herself together and takes a step back, putting distance between them. “If one makes its way to me, you’ll be my first call.”

Crimson only grins as her.

Sharon heads for the door. “I have another meeting. One you’ve made me late for. “

“They’ll live,” Crimson sat on the couch and extended her arms over the back, “what are you selling?”

Sharon looks back with a half smile, “art nouveau sculpture.”

Crimson whistles, “damn. I can imagine the price tag on that one. Let me guess, you added the Carter tax?”

“What is it you always say,” Sharon pretends to think,“be the shark or get eaten?”

Lady Crimson chucked, “I do. But , don’t over use it, I’ll sue you, plus tax.”

Sharon laughs and opens the doors. “We’ll see about that.”

Crimson watches her exit and disappear behind the doors. “We shall.”

Sapphic masterlist (fxf)

[mywitchcultblr]

How the fuck vadermask even work? They are not from the same universe

Roman is Obi-Wan younger twin brother, when Ben was itys bitsy toddler he was kidnapped by space pirate and then found by Jedi. Mommy and Daddy were so heartbroken particularly mommy who went mad from the loss and broken biological bond (Stewjon biology) Rommy grew up in the shadows of a missing brother whom mommy and Daddy loves more than him and he's also super unstable

He was not a particularly well adjusted child growing up in a rather messy noble house. (His other twin Alexander is fine tho) he is was a mess, odd, violent and highly sensitive. Always got into fights

Until one day when he was 16 daddy had enough and kick him out of the house, Roman vegan his journey as a criminal, captured and enslaved by Zygerrian for three years and escaped with Zsasz

Then FINALLY he accidentally saw Obi-Wan with Qui-Gon, Roman's hatred grew tenfold and he wanted nothing but to destroy his brother whom disappearance caused many of his problems. He followed them to Coruscant and from there he stayed in the heart of the galactic republic. Building his power as a mobster until he practical ruling Coruscant underworld. He clashed with Obi-Wan a few times and the hate grew even stronger because dearest older brother wouldn't stop trying to ruin his business in the name of justice blah blah blah

Then he saw Anakin... Obi-Wan's greatest treasure and he swore that he'll corrupt Ani out of spite against his brother. So there you go VaderMask

(Roman/Anakin/Obi-Wan ensued and Roman accidentally genuinely fall in love with Anakin but ALAS HE STILL HAVE TO SHARE WITH OBI-WAN)

[dccomicrants]

Dr. Mid-Nite

Content Warnings: Drugging

Summary: Brief character summaries of Dr. Charles McNider and Dr. Pieter Cross

Comic Issues Involved: Dr. Mid-Nite by Matt Wagner and John K. Snyder III, Hawkman 2002-2006 issue 23-25 by Geoff Johns and Rags Morales, JSA 1999-2006, JSA: Classified 2005-2008, Justice Society of America 2007-2011

There have been 3 characters to use the name Dr. Mid-Nite. The first was Dr. Charles McNider, Dr. Beth Chapel was the second, and the third and current Dr. Mid-Nite is Pieter Cross. Now, since Beth Chapel was with Infinity Inc and not an iteration of the JSA, she’ll probably eventually get her own post. Part of the reason I am also delaying her post is because she’s a main character of Stargirl and I don’t want to walk into spoiler territory.

We will start with Charles McNider and then we will move to Pieter Cross. I love them both and they can both be in the same post for reasons you will discover.

Charles and his nurse/assistant Myra Mason had been working on a new anti-viral serum when the police knocked on his office door. McNider was told that a known gangster named Killer Maroni had attempted to assassinate a key witness and that the witness needed emergency treatment. McNider rushed over to treat the witness, and while he was operating, a thug named Mike threw a hand grenade through the window, killing everyone except McNider. Glass exploded into his eyes, permanently robbing of his sight.

McNider put himself into an intense therapy program and found that he developed more energy at night. This led to him spending several evenings practicing gymnastics and working out. During all of this, Myra ended up falling in love with him.

Since he was no longer able to practice medicine, he turned to writing determined to expose the criminal underworld. Including targeting Killer Maroni.

One night, an owl crashed into his study, causing McNider to take off the bandages on his eyes. He discovered that he could see perfectly in the dark. He turned on the lights and found himself blinded again. When he turned off the light switch, he was able to treat the owl whom he named Hootie.

With his new night vision, he made a costume and started to deal with crime more directly as Dr. Mid-Nite.

Now, Charles is interesting for a variety of reasons, but the one I want to focus on is the fact that there was a very popular theory that he was gay. Charles and Myra, despite having many storylines together and despite Myra being madly in love with him never date. They never pursue a romantic relationship. The line that is often quoted is as follows “She had love for me. It was a love doomed from the start… but I could never quite bring myself to tell her.” In an interview with one of the writers, it was cleared up that it was his dual life not him being gay. This makes sense and would fall in line with some of who Charles is but it doesn’t quite ring true (sure the official writer came out and said it but I Strongly Disagree With The Writer). Refer to the fact that Charles became a hero in 1941, held a respectable position as a surgeon, was a Captain in the Army during World War 2, and was in a mostly all-boys club also known as the All-Star Squadron and later the Justice Society of America. Yes, you can make the argument that the comics are sexist and blah blah blah- The only female members ever of the JSA for a while were Hippolyta, Dinah Drake, and Kara Zor-El. Not all at the same time.

Charles is very dedicated to his work, he knows the JSA well, and he knows Theodore Knight (He will get his own post in time), the first Starman, well enough that when Ted had a mental breakdown as he dealt with the implications of his involvement in the Manhattan project that he took up the mantle of Starman.

So, Charles McNider- A man who is too focused on his dual life to date Myra, a woman he has known for years, hangs up his costume to take on a friend’s costume until he recovers? As favors go, that’s a pretty big one. And it’s not one to take up lightly in light of Charles’s blindness without infrared goggles. Now I’ve mentioned that Charles said he never considered telling Myra his secret identity, yet he cares enough about Ted’s mental health that he took on the name Starman. I rest my case.

Charles is also on the record of saying that he doesn’t like the effects of Rex Tyler’s Miraclo and that he thinks it’s dangerous. He cares about the health of his teammates and friends.

I said earlier that Charles had some connection to Pieter Cross, and he does! The first time Charles met Pieter, he actually delivered him! Charles McNider, one of the few mentors who can say that he literally brought his protégé into the world. Charles would later go on to train both Beth Chapel and Pieter Cross.

Pieter Cross is an absolutely brilliant man, he graduated from Harvard at 19 and immigrated to America from Norway.

At some point, he moved to Portsmouth City, Oregon, and began to investigate A39, a drug derived from Venom (not the alien goo, the stuff Bane takes). Pieter found out that it was being produced by Paraeda Industries. To try to silence him, they had him knocked out and injected with A39 before putting him behind the wheel of a car. He woke up just as the car struck and killed a woman. The drug left him blind to normal light but able to see in the dark just fine.

He eventually ended up joining the JSA, specifically around the time that Todd Rice aka Obsidian aka Alan Scott’s son seemed to become a supervillain (Todd will also be getting his own post at some point). He had a short-lived relationship with Dinah Lance. You know what relationship isn’t short-lived? His friendship with the current Mr. Terrific, Michael Holt. The two play scrabble frequently together and have a very solid friendship.

Pieter Cross is devoutly Christian and Michael is a staunch atheist (this is only ironic because of how Michael ended up becoming Mr. Terrific. Different Post for a different time). They have had many genuine conversations about faith, and what I’m about to say is vitally important- Pieter has never once forced his beliefs onto Michael.

More facts about Pieter? Pieter runs a website as Dr. Mid-Nite where he provides free medical advice to registered users. He supports Sex Workers and treats them with dignity and respect, he runs a free clinic in Portsmouth to treat people, he runs a needle exchange program. What’s Not To Love About Pieter? Oh- he also developed a sober pill that allows him to drink small amounts of alcohol and not become inebriated. His owl is named Charlie after Charles McNider. When the JSA and JLA had thanksgiving together, he volunteered for monitor duty because he didn’t want to see Dinah (and Alan ratted him out). He’s also a vegetarian and he practices yoga.

[codewordpumpkin]

What are your thoughts/feelings on Lizzington darkfic? What’s the extent of dark themes you’re comfortable reading for Lizzington? (Not necessarily that their relationship has an unwholesome dynamic, but maybe even just the stuff they have to deal with in the fic? If that makes sense??)

Sorry if this is a weird question - was just curious. But if it makes you uncomfy, I’m so sorry! Please, no pressure to answer. 🖤

1) It's not a weird q at all!! and it didn't make me feel uncomfortable at all!!!

2) tbh I can handle ALMOST anything

Things that are an absolute hard no for me are (that I can think of at the top of my head):

- Dead/dying Red (who later ends up dead or is implied to later end up dead)

- Dead/dying Liz (who later ends up dead or is implied to later end up dead)

- I can handle some sexual assault content but I'd really prefer if there isn't actual rape content

- This isn't a "dark" theme but I also very much prefer not to read about them being romantically involved/sleeping with other people (because I'm there for Lizzington, damn it!) unless it's like based on early canon and Liz is still married to Tom and blah blah (but she better find out the truth about him very soon bc I def am not interested in any actual romance between them)

3) I actually really like "dark" fics because Liz and Red have dark elements to them (and some of those dark elements bring out the most interesting traits/behaviour) and because of their lifestyles (criminal mastermind & FBI agent) they are bound to interact with the seedy underworld and all that entails, which I love to read about!!

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 18: Thoughts on The 100 2x07

Okay, gonna try this again with another ep. Long Into the Abyss

The last time I was watching T100 I was back at the beginning of S2 so I could remind myself of some stuff for a fic so now I’m really out of sorts.

I remember watching this ep for the first time and thinking, ‘oh, I guess Keenan isn’t going to be important, then.’ The fucked-up-ness levels of this scene are supremely underrated. Much like how they experiment on Maya--they know no shame. Also I feel like the implication is that Keenan isn’t the first person they’ve killed in this way. Does no one.... miss them? Why was there no revolt from the populace on the grounds of ‘they’re experimenting on us’ if not on the grounds of ‘they’re experimenting on these random kids’?

That Keenan was felled by rain makes me think that the rain was....dun dun dun, acid the whole time.

“Civilian check-in will take place at 0900 hours. All civilians must be accounted for by your station supervisors.” I mean first there are only two stations lol but otherwise... collecting more data for the Ark AU.

“This is not our home, it’s theirs” is SUCH a retcon and I’m still angry about it.

It makes absolutely no sense that Abby is still in charge even though the duly elected Chancellor is back in the settlement. I mean I know they’re just making shit up now but they’re not even trying.

Jaha’s faith would be more compelling if it didn’t mean randomly abandoning big chunks of his people--not just Marcus and the 48 but every other station that may or may not be out there. I guess he still sees them as a whole not as individuals or even as sub-parts. (I’d say he’s being selfish but in fact he will sacrifice himself too.)

This would have been a good time to lean even more into the 100 as a distinct people all their own. Clarke (and co.) care about the 48 than anything else. But no one else does, really; they were already thrown away.

That was the worst speech Chancellor 1 and Chancellor 2 could have given because now it’s super obvious they are not on the same page.

“The Grounders are attacking because of me” is 100% true and you should say it. People in this fandom love to hate on fuckboy Finn but the actual main characters stuck behind him right up until the bitter end lol, let’s not forget that.

Also yes Clarke’s line is stupid (”The Grounders are attacking because that’s what they do”) but.... she’s not entirely wrong that the Grounders have historically targeted them for almost no reason, over and over, since day one. So yeah they’d probably be attacking anyway. Not five minutes ago Jaha was saying they were just trying to get ‘invaders’ off their land so....yeah no one knows.

Raven’s Gate!

The Mount Weather delinquents! I love them. I love their group dynamic. I love the bizarre way Jasper is sitting, and how much faith he has in Clarke, and Monty being the voice of pessimistic reason. I do not love Monty’s hair. That is an unfortunate cut.

WE’RE CRIMINALS RIGHT SO LET’S BE CRIMINALS.

Says the boy whose crime was being a stoner.

Like tbh now that I’ve looked at the whole season from afar, trying to make it make sense for fic writing purposes, I see that this whole ep’s story line probably mostly exists just to buy some time while actual progress is made outside the Mountain but... I still love it.

Give Ricky Whittle an Emmy lol.

S2 Clarke was such peak Clarke... she’s so smart. Figuring everything out all the time.

[All Grunting]

David Miller is the true and only MVP I said what I said.

Mount Weather population: 382. You know people can give bone marrow without dying. Perhaps you could stop being so greedy and impatient.

Octavia trying to be brave and strong while looking young and scared and small is Endearing.

Totally forgot Nyko was a healer.

Or an Angel of Death lol.

I’m just going to say it. Bellamy was turned on by Clarke electrocuting Nyko.

I’m not super crazy about the Finn and Lincoln comparisons given that Finn acted of his own free will and Lincoln was turned into a cannibal.

The only scenes that really matter are the MW ones as per usual.

“Ye of little faith.”

“That’s my boy.”

I love Miller’s little thief kit omg. And Monty the Stereotypical Hacker.

“And they said we wouldn’t amount to anything.” UNDERRATED LINE.

“Abby, you cannot seriously be taking seriously the thoughts of a teenage girl we previously agreed was completely expendable lol??”

I’d say ‘why do the Grounders need such a comically large force to wipe out a tiny little enclave of scared refugees’ but of course the last time they went up against an even tinier group of refugees they got roasted, toasted, and burned to a crisp so...fair enough.

“She was Anya’s second” as in that should matter because Clarke and Anya were such good friends....?

Jaha hates not being in power so bad. Like he’s this-close from saying ‘Abby stop playing and hand over the pin to a real adult.’ Like he truly thinks she’s just fucking around and he’s entitled to the final say because...habit I guess?

Another point to Finn: if they left they would NEVER come back for the MW kids lol. What an obvious lie. Does Jaha believe his own bs??

Also someone should have pointed out that the Grounders have literally never been good faith with them. Never. Like who says that if the Ark left the Alpha Station site that the Grounders wouldn’t pursue them and kill them anyway? The delinquents abandoned the dropship site and were followed and attacked. (Am I mis-remembering or was ‘leave or die’ the offer then too?) The Ark doesn’t know how much land “belongs” to Trikru (prob because none of it does lol). Like, Jaha’s confidence that Lexa wasn’t lying to him the whole time--like every other time she opens her mouth, because almost everything she says is in fact a lie--is wildly misplaced imho.

All of that said and I completely stand by it--he’s not wrong that he’s the real Chancellor and it is ridiculous that the actual elected Chancellor has to beg the rando who just happens to have the pin to do something. Like--he is right  on the procedure but wrong on the substance is what I’m saying.

And here another example of how only the person who controls the army has real power.

Remember when Abby and Clarke had a good relationship? And it was significant and moving? Anyway another answer to ‘why are you throwing everything away on this plan’ would be ‘because it’s not a shitty plan, you’re just not hearing it out,’ or alternately ‘because we need to deserve to live as I have already said back in the pilot and walking away from MW would be morally abhorrent.’

Netflix subtitles don’t know Miller’s name lol.

MW surveillance of Alpha Station.

Honestly as soon as the stuff with the Grounders moves to the fore I just zone out. Maybe it’s because the tension is gone when you know what happens or maybe it’s because I never really believed ADC but...eh. She has a cool glove though.

They really do hammer home the idea that the MM aren’t really “alive.” Someone bring back that ‘they’re the souls in the underworld’ meta stat.

“This is our world. We deserve this.” Imo this is the hubris of the descendant of American Executive Branch survivors, the belief that, because they were chosen to live for their importance to the whole concept of America, that they now deserve not just survival but a return to that which they themselves destroyed. (I know in this universe it was some rogue AI blah blah blah--it’s more interesting if it was a nuclear war in the traditional sense in my opinion.) Dante has the other side of the argument: We are the keepers of history. The responsibility, over the entitlement. And he recognizes that this legacy is already stained, perhaps irrevocably. Is it ridiculous that he drew his line in the sand? Did he even make that decision, about the Grounders, or did his father make it? Does he think it’s okay because the Grounders are ‘savages’? Because the MM can survive without the bone marrow but not without the blood?

I’m going to be honest, I have no idea what the concept is here with saving Lincoln. Like is this real science about overdoses or just like shit made up as they went along? The only thing I got was the heart thing with the electric shock but like...unclear on the rest... is it just waiting out the detox, I guess?

The dropship has a cute tiled floor. I never noticed that.

They didn’t lie! They were just being as dramatic as possible! Griffin women specialty.

I never shipped M/inty but that was a nice moment. Love those attempts to expand Miller’s character. Also completely forgot that what Miller found was the engineering schematics.

“It’s not complicated really. We just need to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave their system.” Okay so I was basically right. Not sure how she came to that conclusion from the fight scene but w/e.

L just strikes me as like a young person pretending to be a leader rather than like an actual leader... I’m sorry. But that’s just my read.

Anyway here she is, bad faith as always--moving the goalposts again. “You can have your truce if I get one thing”--LADY YOU GOT YOUR ONE THING THE FUCKING REAPERS HELLO. You don’t get a second thing. I mean fuck really you’re already getting two things: the Reapers and an ally in taking down the Mountain. Now you want a third thing?? No. No more things.

“The one you call Finn”--see, honestly, fake. You’re from fucking Baltimore, no one talks like this or has ever talked like this in the history of human speech.

Anyway, that was intellectually exhausting. Missed seeing my girl Maya. And even more importantly, Raven. And Bellamy had so little to do. He looked damn fine though.

[bigskydreaming]

fhalkfhaklfhlkak i hate this

TW really truly literally ruined the word ‘spark’ for me. Like the whole damn word. I hear it now and I’m like, NOPE, like...idk, some people who cringe when they hear the word moist or panties. Apologies to anyone who hates those words and cringed, i dont actually know if thats a thing or if like, I just have weird friends. Probably just the latter.

But anyways, Im just like...lmfao. Its so visceral too? Like I have this one original project, Waveriders, that I’ve been fiddling with off and on in the background of other projects for awhile, might have talked about it on here, idk, I don’t keep track. 

Basically its a far future sci-fi novel/setting for linked shorter works set on a gas giant that was settled by humans who figured that they can’t possibly be stepping on anyone’s toes there, its a freaking gas giant, hello, no one’s home, right? They literally have to make their own ground by using technology to form anti-gravity wells in the habitable zone of the atmosphere and like, make floating cities and then these kind of buoys scattered across the planet that create these electromagnetic currents that flow in specific ‘routes’ between the cities, and people travel between them in these flying ships that use magnetized hulls and solar sails to ride these currents, and blah blah blah, yada yada yada, bc like, why would I resist an opportunity to have floating cities and sky pirates and ancient cyborg machine dragons? Doesn’t make sense. 

Anyway, so couple thousand years after settling this planet, and by then for Plotty Reasons there are people who have what’s called waveriding abilities, like they can ‘hack’ certain wavelengths or types of energy and manipulate them in various ways, but only one kind of energy per person, and they each have their own little names and niches. 

So, y’know, basically just like ATLA, except for like, its energy powers and there are cyborg machine dragons and floating cities and sky pirates, obvsly. Plus areas of totally fucked up gravity called the badlands that are all like, criminal underworld metropolis because normal people are like lol nope, we like it when up is up and down is down, all of this is very just...nope. And also because shocking and totally unexpected plot twist, they were totally wrong about the planet being uninhabited just cuz it didn’t have Earth type ground...like, so in addition and on top of and in conjunction with all of the above and whatnot, there are these beings called Chaos Angels, that are basically like sentient quantum waveforms that can take any shape or appearance, but just, have no physical substance and yet are really good at faking that they’re not totally there when they fuck with humans, which they do a lot, because well. Why not, y’know?

But other than that, its exactly like ATLA. I’m a derivative hack. I disgust myself, truly I do.

BUT the point of this particular synaptic misfire aka ADHD ramble, is that so, okay, these different types of not!benders are all called waveriders as an overall umbrella term, but with ten different subsets of this in total, right? So people who can ‘hack’ light and manipulate it in various ways are called brightriders, and people who are tuned into soundwaves are called echo-riders, and some can manipulate the more electricity-skewed side of the electromagnetic spectrum and those are shockriders and the ones who skew more to the magnetic side are steelriders but I’m probably gonna change that because it sounds like a porno? Yeah no, just saw it outside of my notes for the first time and can confirm, definitely sounds like a porno so they’re not gonna be called steel-riders, but they will be called something steel-rider-esque. You get it.

And then there are the five weird ones that people aren’t totally quite sure how their waveriding shticks work because the kinds of energy they hack aren’t like....the kinds that work in the same way as the others with their easily discernible and patternistic wavelengths, and scientists and scholars are always arguing like but skyriders aren’t even in the same FIELD as the other waverider types because gravity isn’t even an actual ENERGY, just because we talk about gravity waves doesn’t mean they’re remotely the same thing as lightwaves, they make no SENSE, and I’m just like hahaha, I am your god, fictional scientists. Fucking deal with it. Plus it does make sense, you just don’t know the Secret Rules and Logistics that I do, pfft. 

Anyway, so the other types are boomriders who hack kinetic energy and skyriders of course obviously manipulate gravity, and then the last three are really weird, and super rare and thus don’t really have set names and just have lots of nicknames and are often just thought to be rumors. So those are the bio-riders who manipulate chemical energy though it often gets mistakenly referred to or just handwaved as being ‘life energy’ as though that’s a thing, ugh future way advanced people are so dumb sometimes, honestly. But so they can manipulate biological processes in various ways and do things with healing and also hurting, and basically just don’t piss one off ever. Like. You’ll die. And then there’s the psi-riders, who are essentially psychics and hack brainwaves, and I’m not at all bitter that I lack the balls to just go for broke and call them ghost riders like I want to, because ghost riders obviously sounds way cooler?? But also, Marvel would definitely sue?? Because they’re just, like that. 

And like, the last of the Weird Ones are the ones so super rare and also so hard to actually....tell if someone actually IS one, that most people think they don’t actually even exist and are just an unsubstantiated like, theoretical idea some scientist had once while high and then just, never shut up about so eventually the idea caught on. And those are the quantum-riders, or luck-riders, basically they theoretically manipulate quantum wavelengths in ways that are almost impossible to identify, like theoretically they wouldn’t even know they were doing it? Anyway, so lots of times, what are actually quantum-riders are just jealously thought to be like, really fucking lucky assholes. Even though the way their powers work really don’t have anything to do with luck or even probability, specifically, like that’s a simplistic approximation and its more like they manipulate possibilities but also shut up me, nobody cares.

ANYWAY, people who can count and who actually bothered to would probably notice by now like the funky little geniuses they are that all of those still only adds up to nine. And that’s because of the last one, the one that SHOULD go up in the brightrider, shockrider, notpornIswear!steel-rider hierarchy or taxidermy or whatever the fuck. And these are the ones who manipulate what’s essentially thermal energy, or more accurately the microwave-skewing side of the ultraviolet spectrum whereas brightriders are just the ones who skew more to the infrared side of it.

And the long and short of all of this Unnecessary-ness and the source of my fit of pique and ensuing ramble-palooza....is that ORIGINALLY, they were SUPPOSED to be called sparkriders.

But OBVIOUSLY I can’t call them that anymore, because like. I tried, and I was like ugh you drama queen slash whiny pissbaby, it was just a shitty teen supernatural show and SPARK WAS NEVER EVEN CANON, do not let THEM win and ruin a perfectly good classification name! But I did. I did let it ruin them, and its. Well. Its a problem, because I kept thinking up ways to kill off the sparkrider characters for absolutely no reason at all instead of like....thinking up ways to make the plot do what it was outlined to do in their parts of the story.

This may come like, way out of left field, and just SHOCK and STUN and BEWILDER some of you, like....no way, srsly? But yeah, true story, among my many canon mental neuroses like ADHD, PTSD, magical depression hour and super fun anxiety like....there is a tiny possibility (aka actual diagnosis) that while I don’t talk about this much, or ever really, I do have a smidge of ye old OCD? Its not like, a big thing and doesn’t really affect my daily routines and that’s pretty much why I never usually bring it up or list it alongside the rest of the crap on my neurodivergence resumé or whatever, because like, there’s already WAY too many misconceptions out there about what OCD actually is and what constitutes it, and tons of people are always jokingly but also thinking they’re kinda half serious, like ‘oh I’m so OCD about this and this and that’ and its like. LOL. Are you though? You sure?

Anyway, but point being, the way mine manifests for me is like...not actually a problem? Like, I don’t actually have any REAL complaints about it at all, just half-assed little fits of pique ones like this, which is the other part of why I never bring it up, because too often ppl just can’t fathom that OCD or even any kind of neurodivergence can be...WANTED, or a good thing, and lololol, that’s ableism, folks. But its true, I don’t actually mind mine at all, even if it occasionally makes things frustrating, when I get stuck like I am now. But the flip side of it is....its actually a pretty huge part of my creativity and just the way my mind works in general....like, what people accredit to me being particularly insightful about character analysis or drawing connections or stuff like that in meta or fics or my novels or worldbuilding...that’s what it is. That’s my OCD in action. 

My brain like...REQUIRES that I find patterns in....pretty much everything. Even day to day mundane stuff too, though like I said, its mild enough there that it doesn’t fuck with my routines too much, but like, I have to order things into nice, neat patterns and groupings. And if there aren’t any that are immediately obvious, I kinda pretty much HAVE to dig deeper until I find some on a slightly deeper level, something beneath the surface or first glance, and keep going until I find something.....or worst case scenario, I have to like....add stuff and embellish and fill in gaps with my own ‘content’ until I have the rough edges rounded off into something that CAN be stacked neatly atop some other part of the story or whatever it is I’m focusing on? And the obsessive-compulsive part for me is like, lol, I gotta find it SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW. 

My brain literally won’t shut off or grudgingly accept being diverted to a different subject until I’ve made some kind of pattern or flowchart or classification system. It will literally keep me up for hours, going over the same things over and over from every angle until I find SOME way to....reassemble or restructure it in some nice, neat little order of some type. I mean that’s basically what it is. My brain insists on me forming some semblance of order out of any glimpse I have of what I would otherwise term creative chaos. And it won’t give up until it gets what it wants, which when you throw in my ADHD and how often I’ll get derailed off on slight tangents but with my OCD then sooner or later forcing me back to the original focus, rinse and repeat ad nauseam....like. LOL. I learned to operate on very little sleep from a pretty young age by necessity, its just...my brain, dudes. Its just like that.

But the perks are like, I pretty much think this is WHY I’m so creative....because my brain, for as long as I can remember, has always just kinda....forced me to be? Also probably has a lot to do with well...eh, I don’t need to talk about that right now. Whatever. Anyway, point being, so....I do like the end results very much so, and for all its....Why Must You Be Like This eccentricities, I’m quite attached to my brain and would not be very likely to agree to a trade even were one possible. I mean don’t get me wrong, I could do without the PTSD and anxiety, if we’re just, like....talking some pruning shears or whatever, but the actual creative machinery, I’m keeping. Ultimately it just means I really fucking like patterns and finding patterns or making patterns where previously there were none, or at least none that were easy to spot.

But ugh, man, these are the rare times when I’m like omg, just call it a day, we don’t ACTUALLY have to come up with the perfect replacement name for that one relatively small and insignificant detail of a much larger story that isn’t even in the Top Ten list of my main priorities at the moment. And my asshole of a brain is just like....yeah no, we gotta. You know the rules dude, you decided it was official, that name didn’t work anymore and was never gonna, so now we gotta find a replacement or else things will be UNEVEN?? The pattern will be...missing a piece? There will be CHAOS AND ANARCHY IN THE STREETS THAT RUNNETH OVER WITH BLOOD? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??

And so I’m like....literally sitting here googling synonyms for spark because I’m just like that sometimes, lmfao. Oh and of course its gotta be a GOOD replacement, naturally. I can’t just shoehorn in a somewhat acceptable substitute that in the back of my mind I’m expecting to only be temporary, until I come up with something better. See, because my brain will KNOW, and it will NOT be okay with that, because that is CHEATING. And my brain, apparently, has strong feelings about cheating, which is weird and fairly unexpected of me, IMO.

Anyway, kudos to anyone who actually read through that instead of scrolling, I honestly have zero idea why I felt like sharing it, I just did and thus I did. *shrugs* 

[storyofauke]

@timejourneytales sent me some great thoughts and questions. Sharing with their permission:

timejourneytales said: Like lol wow sweetie it has been a loooong time. I read some of your recent posts and again it sucks that some of the anons have turned troll on ya. Oh and this isn't a anon ask it just probably a bit too long for the ask lol. Where do I start? So many things I wanna say.... Well first the whole Fei and Mik fiasco that started the trolls. You know me I am a straight up lover of the long-haired beauties. With Feilong and who he is to be shipped with I just go with the flow because in the past you made good points on it either being Mikhail or Yoh. At first I wanted neither but then you explained how either could be good. Mikhail as you once said has this glamour to him and Yoh has this solidness to him, basically one has what the other lacks to make a perfect match for Fei. I am kind of rooting for Yoh yet sometimes have my fingers crossed for Mikhail too because the man is a goofball sometimes. But as you mentioned in a recent post it might not be what sensei has planned. And I think that is what is causing the trolls they sense that Ayano-sensei may get rid of Mikhail later and they don't want to even think of that. All you're doing is voicing you're opinions, and saying what YOU THINK is gonna go down. That is the reason why I have come to love your blog. That and how you clear things up. 

Me: Aw, thank you. I get that people are passionate about the characters they love. What I still don’t get is getting angry at me for not agreeing with them. Ship away to your heart’s content, but why flip out because I refuse to get on that particular ship with you? Honestly, if we could all learn to bear dissenting opinions with a little more equanimity, the world would be a better place.

As to wanting someone for Fei, I feel pretty detached, personally. I’m very interested in Fei’s current arc because it’s so emotionally complex and unusual. I’m much more invested in seeing how that plays out. I am interested enough in him as a character to want him to have someone. I think he deserves happiness and I think it’s in his nature that happiness for him would come in the form of a life partner. Fei needs to be loved. He should be loved. All that fabulousness should not be wasted on the desert air.

timejourneytales said: But yeah I think, as fun as it may sound, Fei and Mik may not be. Because to me I feel Mik has been all chase and fling with Feilong. Yea he likes to flirt with the guy because it can throw him off and hey tactics are tactics right. Basically more of a physical attraction and interest in the hunt. 

Me:  I agree. And I get that on the surface, Mik presents a very sparkly option (to borrow sensei’s own word.) They are awfully pretty together. But is Mik really what Fei needs or more importantly, what Fei wants? I mean, it’s pretty much been spelled out that Fei wants a daddy figure. Not just adoration and security but a firm support from which his fabulousity can flower. I just don’t think Mik is suited to that role. They’re too much alike to make a long-term relationship work. 

And back to what Fei wants: to this point in the manga, I haven’t seen any evidence that Fei is at all attracted to Mik. In fact, what I see is active dislike. To argue otherwise undercuts the sacrifice Fei is making for Asami. I see a lot of Fei fans celebrating that and wondering what Asami will think when he finds out. But if Fei is attracted to Mik, then it’s not a sacrifice, is it? Then the whole arc is shot to hell.   

timejourneytales said: And also the whole thing with Akihito. Why is it so easy for people to point out that yeah Feilong rapped Aki and call him a baddie but say otherwise with Asami who did the same? I mean I am actually the same. How easy it is to overlook that Asami did what he did and be fine but when think of Fei I think how he kind of got his in Finder No Rakuin or in the one nightstand chapter with Mik. 

Me: Okay, I do not want to excuse what Asami did to Aki (the rapes and the rotten things he said to wreck Aki’s confidence,) but I do think there is a difference in Asami’s motives vs Fei’s motives for raping Aki and that this is why many readers give Asami a pass. 

With the understanding that this is a fantasy and that rape is bad in real life blah blah, the argument can be made that Asami did not consider what he did to Aki in chapter one as rape but rather as ravishment. And I don’t think he initially abducted Aki with the intent to rape him. I think he intended to just scare Aki off but was overcome with desire (which is the classic ravishment fantasy) and then couldn’t help himself. And he was careful to see that Aki felt pleasure and--if you read the novelization of the first chapter--even practiced aftercare. (Again, I am not excusing this behavior, just laying out the argument.)

But Fei raped Aki out of revenge. Over a long period of time. There was no desire involved, no care for what Aki might or might not feel. For Fei, Aki was an object, a means to exact his revenge and vent his anger. But for Asami, Aki was always a person, even when he was just toying with him. 

HOWEVER, what Asami did was still wrong. How Asami undermined Aki’s understanding of their relationship was, IMO, even worse. Where Fei proves himself a better human being capable of growth is in understanding that what he did was wrong and apologizing. And now, against his own lingering desires--albeit grudgingly, reuniting the two.

Asami has some major ground to make up in this respect and I’m not at all sure we’re going to see him even try. (Is he even capable of understanding and acknowledging that what he did was wrong?) By that measure, Fei would come out of this story the real winner.

timejourneytales said: And I yeah I loved the omake's. Which of three would you say was your favorite? And I agree how brilliant sensei is in including the struggles of her characters in them. 

Me: Yeah, I’ve said before that sure, this isn’t War and Peace, but sensei does put thought into what she’s doing, and that she can make the omakes light, fun, super sexy AND thematically relevant is no small trick.

I think the vampire one is my favorite because I love these glimpses into the soft, gooey center of Asami’s subconscious. He’s all giving and caring in his perception of himself! I wish he would put that into more open, active practice in his waking moments because Aki still ain’t getting it.

I was intrigued by the brief moment of Asami toying with the idea of fighting on the right side of the law in the hero show extra, and that leads into your last comment:

timejourneytales said: And that is a good question, in the end will Asami come to the light or Akihito to the dark. I wanna say the latter most likely because any chance at a "normal" life for a Asami is easier said than done. Especially when. You consider his "popularity" in the criminal world. Anyway that is all I wanted to say today:)

Me: And that is a very good point. It would be enormously difficult for Asami to leave the underworld and live an entirely “normal” life. However, I don’t think it would be impossible. And since he’s supposed to be this highly educated genius and everything, I would think it would be within his scope to plan for such a thing. And after what we learned about him in FnS, it would be believable that he has planned for such a thing, now that we know that a criminal lifestyle is not what he wanted and that at one point in his life, he very much wanted to live as a normal person. 

Now he has a new reason to want that life: Akihito. As a smart, powerful man, I believe he could make it happen. The question is, how much has he changed in the eighteen years between FnS and now? Is he too much a prisoner of the dark? It certainly seems that the manga is leaning towards Aki merely being a light within the darkness and not a beacon to lead Asami out of it. More realistic that way, yes, but...sigh. Don’t we all, as fans, have things we know sensei will not give us?

[leofemt]

nothing good’s ever come out of utah

"This is your base of operations?" Crowley says incredulously. "This place is a shithole."

"Wow, you're right." Sam says sarcastically. "We should have bought out the penthouse just for you, Crowley."

"It does have a bigger bed, Moose," Crowley says, voice laced with innuendo, waggling his eyebrows at Sam. Sam scoffs and looks away.

mooseley w/ side destiel, fbi/criminal informant au, 1.5k words.

on ao3.

"Dean?" Sam says, looking over his shoulder at his brother, who is laid out over the bed. "It's ten AM, don't you think it's time to-"

"Jesus, Sammy." Dean mutters. "Let a man sleep in once, please."

Sam makes a huffing noise and returns to his laptop, keys clacking.

"Do we have anything new on this case dispatch gave us?" Dean asks after a moment, pushing the pillow off his head. "Seems pretty specific. Crazy like this doesn't just strike once."

Sam shrugs.

"I mean, yeah," he says, "there's a precedent in this town- they found a body the other day of a man, mid 30's, offed in the bedroom of his house in the suburbs the same way our vic was." Sam grimaces. "Looks like he didn't have any relatives, so they didn't find him until the neighbors called in about the newspapers piling up on his doorstep, and they found him, a week old at least."

Dean wrinkles his nose.

"Exact same MO?" He asks. "Like, socks in the mouth, noose tied up to the headboard, hands taped to the sides-"

"Feet tied crossed together, throat slit? Yeah." Sam finishes. "Think it's a serial?"

Dean groans.

"Guess we'll find out," he says, rolling over on the bed, on the cheap, scratchy motel sheets, digging around on the bedside table for his phone. He flips it open, and hits the third number on his speed dial.

Sam raises his eyebrows.

"Cas?" Dean says.

Sam lowers his brow again.

"Busy?" Dean says. "Yeah, Bobby over at dispatch tipped us off to a weird homicide in Utah, turns out it might be a serial. Hear any Fed chatter about one who likes to put his vics in a noose and tie 'em to the headboard?"

A pause.

"Mmm." Another pause. "Yeah. Really? Okay, see you."

He snaps his phone shut.

"Cas says they'll be here tonight," Dean says, shaking his head. "Damn Fed resources. Is that where my federal tax money's going?"

Sam snorts a laugh.

"Anyways, keep digging," Dean mutters, hefting himself off the bed. "I'm gonna-"

"Get some fresh air, yeah." Sam says, waving him off.

"Actually, I need to set up another meeting." Dean grunts, pulling his jacket on, popping his phone open again and hitting the fourth number on his speed dial.

"With who?" Sam frowns, typing pausing for a minute.

Dean rolls his eyes, raises his hand for pause, balances the phone in the crook of his neck and shoulder to rifle in his pockets, presumably, for his wallet.

"Crowley?" He says, and Sam tenses, exhales a dispirited groan. "Yeah, save it, I need some info. Any chance you're in the Salt Lake City suburbs area?"

~~~~~~

"God damnit." Sam mutters, shoving his hands in his pockets. "And we're working with Crowley... why, again?"

"He's my CI, Sam." Dean says. "Buck up. He's a lowlife douchebag, but any major crime happens between the coasts, he'll know about it."

"Yeah, don't underestimate the power of a drug kingpin," Sam says under his breath.

"Aw, you're gonna hurt my feelings, Moose, you great lout," a voice comes from behind them, and both brothers jump.

Dean scowls.

"Jesus, Crowley." He hisses. "How many times have I told you."

Crowley, looking fascinatingly authoritarian for a man a head shorter than Sam with thinning hair and a Scottish accent, smirks at them with his hands in his pockets.

"Hello, boys." He says.

"Shut up, Crowley." Sam replies, almost on instinct, forcing his expression into something unbothered as the man turns his full gaze onto him.

"Must you always be so cruel?" Crowley says, that tilt of his lips never disappearing, shifting back to Dean in a moment. "Is there a reason you and the great lump have asked me here, when I could be enjoying a good steak with a fantastic vintage in a private jet, instead of standing in bloody Utah-"

"Have you heard anything about a serial in the area?" Dean interrupts, with his usual amount of sympathy for Crowley's constant plights.

Crowley rolls his eyes.

"There's a dozen serials in the Southwest at any given time, darling." He says. "Because no one wants to live in the fucking Southwest. It's boring. No wonder people go nuts down here."

Sam snorts. Crowley glares at him.

"Okay, but a specific serial." Dean presses, pulling a manila folder out of his jacket, pushing it at Crowley. Crowley takes it and flips through the photos. His eyebrows crawl up his forehead.

Sam eyes him.

"Now you've caught my interest, Dean." Crowley says, closing the folder again, handing it back, replacing his hands in his pockets. "Alright. I'm in."

Sam blinks.

"Wait." He says. "In?"

"In on the case." Crowley grins, and for a moment, Sam is reminded of some cocky, predatory animal. "This serial happens to have offed a very good lieutenant of mine in Alabama, so I'm inclined to hold a grudge."

Dean considers him.

"Fine." He says. "Fine, you're in on the case, if the drug underworld can spare you for a week."

"What!" Sam almost shouts, whirling on his brother. "Dean, he's-"

"A criminal, a bastard, blah, blah, blah." Crowley waves a hand. "Yes, I know, can we move on."

Sam grumbles.

"He has information, Sam." Dean mutters. "You, me, Cas and Crowley? This serial's pissed off a lot of people, apparently."

"Wait, did I hear that correctly?" Crowley says, cocking his head for emphasis, raising a hand to cup his ear. "The angelic Boy-Scout-turned-FBI-Agent's in on this mess too?"

Dean shrugs.

"Apparently this guy caused some trouble on the East coast a couple years ago." He says. "The Feds want him, my bosses want him, the Devil drug cartel wants him-"

"This guy's as good as locked up." Crowley smiles, clapping his hands together. "Now, shall we? I assume you have a base of operations?"

~~~~~~

"This is your base of operations?" Crowley says incredulously. "This place is a shithole."

"Wow, you're right." Sam says sarcastically. "We should have bought out the penthouse just for you, Crowley."

"It does have a bigger bed, Moose," Crowley says, voice laced with innuendo, waggling his eyebrows at Sam. Sam scoffs and looks away.

"Should I leave the room? Give you two some privacy?" Dean says, already digging through a box of papers looking for the notes he had taken the other day interviewing some of the family members of the original victims. "Or can we actually get some work done?"

"You're just jealous because your Mr. Right's still in the air," Crowley says, and Dean chucks a roll of tape at him. He dodges without even pulling his hands out of his pockets.

"Jesus." Sam groans. "Can I shoot him."

"He's been here ten minutes," Dean mutters distractedly. "I hate him too, but don't shoot my CI."

"I'm hurt, Moose." Crowley places a hand over where his heart would be if it weren't replaced by a black hole of sex, drink, and other types of hedonism. "Thought you and I had a real connection, after Detroit."

"If you keep bringing up Detroit, I will smash your head in like a pumpkin, no matter what my brother says," Sam threatens.

"Love it when you get all tough." Crowley smirks, narrows his eyes suggestively.

Dean pushes the open laptop towards the middle of the desk.

"Put your junk away for two minutes, guys." He says. "Cas sent the case files from the other possible serial killings over secure email."

"Bet their sexting is more intimate," Crowley mutters.

"Shut up, Crowley." Sam growls, even as they both lean simultaneously over the laptop.

~~~~~~

It takes hours of digging through possible killings by this guy, who Crowley has un-affectionately dubbed the Hanging Man, to sort through them into a computerized pile of those that could be attributed to him and those that seem like more of a reach than not. From this, Sam begins to string together a timeline- it's hard going, because the killings are months, if not years apart, for a possible career spanning more than 10 years with a total of 14 killings.

"Alright." Dean leans back in his chair, scrubs his palms over his eyes. "I gotta go pick the FBI up from the airport, I'll be back in a couple hours." He points at Crowley, then Sam. "Behave."

"I'm not a bloody dog," Crowley calls after him.

"Shut up, Crowley." Sam mutters.

"Up yours, Moose," Crowley replies, and Sam throws a peanut at him. Crowley kicks him under the table.

"Jesus." Sam hisses, grabbing his calf. "What are you, five?"

"Older and more experienced than you," Crowley snarks, flicking a rude hand symbol in Sam's general direction, typing with the other. "You know, with Mr. Tall, Blue-Eyed and Socially Awkward in the room with your brother, we'll be the odd ones out, right?"

"You don't have to tell me," Sam mutters. "Cas once let slip about the 'deeper bond' he and Dean share."

"Christ." Crowley says. "Think they've done the deed yet?"

Sam makes a face.

"Do you take pleasure in making the people around you seriously uncomfortable?" He grimaces, eyes trained on his work.

"Only if it's you, poppet," Crowley croons, "because you respond so nicely-"

"One of these days, I'm actually going to kill you." Sam mutters.

Notes abt this au: cas is an fbi agent who was assigned to one of the cases sam and dean were investigating, ended up working with dean to uncover corruption within the bureau's ranks, was slated for a promotion but wanted to remain an investigator so they made hannah his boss- his partner is balthazar.

Crowley is the kingpin of the largest drug-running ring in the states. He's a douchebag but has a fondness for winchesters, especially when they're granting him situational immunity, especially when sam twists his hips a little like so when walking... ;0

Sam and dean are government-funded cross-state detective liasons, like private investigators, who investigate weird crimes and shit. They caught their parent's murderer a while ago, but stuck in the business. Bobby is their dispatch handler.

[raedas]

Theme music plays.

Carmen sneaks through the museum.

Chase: Freeze! Right there!

The video pauses, revealing that we have been watching a recording.

Chase: Now rewind. Stop. Zoom in on her face. That is not Carmen Sandiego.

The culprit has a similar silhouette, but wears an eye patch and has straight white hair.

Chief: She calls herself the Duchess. A.C.M.E. had no record of her existence... until late last night when she sashayed out of Amsterdam's Rijksmuseum packing a painting valued at over 30 million euro.

Chase: 30 million euro for that?

Julia: "Woman in Blue Reading a Letter" is one of Johannes Vermeer's most important earlier works. SEe the hallmark of his style? The way he paints natural light makes his subject look so realistic.

Chase: Ms. Argent, need I remind you that you're the only one who cares about such dull facts?

Chief: Excellent eye, Agent Argent. Attention to detail is the very cornerstone of A.C.M.E. surveillance.

Chase: Uh, um, precisely why we should further analyze the particulars of this, uh, uh... hmm.

Julia: Swipe here.

Chief: I highly suggest acquainting yourself with our CrimeNet technology, Agent Devineaux. You're not with Interpol anymore. Your first mission as agents of A.C.M.E. will be to recover that painting and ascertain whether or not this Duchess is working for V.I.LE.

Chase: Or, whether she is an accomplice to Carmen Sandiego.

Carmen: Blue isn't really my color, but I have to admit... I've never stolen anything so luminous.

She's looking at the painting stolen by "the Duchess."

Player: Enjoy it while you can, Red. You have a whole hour before you need to get back in character.

Carmen: Right. Let's get the crew up to speed. Zack, Ivy!

Zack, wearing the eye patch: Avast, me mateys! Arr!

Ivy, wearing the white-haired wig: Is this a good look for me?

Carmen: Those aren't toys, people. They're my disguise. Now pay attention. Here's what we know: Player's decryption of the V.I.L.E. hard drive revealed details of an intricate ongoing operation. V.I.L.E. operatives have been quietly stealing paintings by the artist Vermeer from museums all over the world and replacing the originals with amazingly accurate forgeries.

Ivy: What? Why would they bother leaving fakes behind?

Carmen: To ensure museum security would never realize the originals had been stolen to begin with, which would allow the entirety of Vermeer's collected works to slowly and steadily be amassed by V.I.L.E. mastermind Countess Cleo.

Zack: What's the big whoop about these paintings anyway? No cars, no clowns, no dogs playing poker?

Ivy: Yeah, and she's reading. Snore.

Player: You aren't the only ones who thought that. But after some research, I began to see things in a different light. The Netherlands isn't only known for its tulips, windmills, and wooden shoes. It's famous for its painters from the Dutch Golden Age of the 1600's, Vermeer among them.

Carmen: But the ordinary people of his portraits weren't the stars of the show. That would be the mind-boggling way Vermeer captured natural light with his paintbrush. Only 34 confirmed paintings by the maestro exist. Not a whole lot for a major artist. That makes each one an extremely rare and valuable treasure.

Player: Which is why we freaked when we learned there was only one last Vermeer left for Cleo to steal, from the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, capital of the Netherlands.

Carmen: So I had to act fast and got to it first and made my escape through one of Amsterdam's 165 canals, masquerading as the Duchess. "Woman in Blue Reading a Letter" is our only shot at stealing back the other 33. We need Cleo to take the bait so we can push for a direct face-to-face, in the hopes of figuring out where she's keeping the rest.

Player: And if she had any suspicion that she were dealing with the master super thief Carmen Sandiego, she'd never let you anywhere near her stolen prizes.

Carmen: That's why, when Cleo's courier arrives to authenticate the painting, it'll be the Duchess who meets him at the door.

There's a knock at the door.

Player: Whoa, that can't be him. He's an hour early.

Zack: Yowza! Room service is wicked fast here.

Carmen: Wait! Don't open that doo--

Zack does. Carmen and Ivy hide. Player disconnects the video call.

Dash: Oh, still running on Moscow time. Hmm. Um... you're not a duchess.

Zack: You're not my sandwich.

Dash: Ahaha, I must have the wrong room. I...

He spots the painting.

Dash: Oh... there she is. "The Woman in Blah"... I was to meet a duchess. You would be her...?

Zack: Duke. Ah, yes. Ahem. I'm the Duke... ahah, of, uh, uh, uh... Vermeer! Vermeer. Yes. Haha.

Dash: That's a pace?

Zack: Um, yeah. I-In Boston. B-Boston. And you would be, mate?

Dash: Dash Haber. Executive courier to Countess Cleo.

He uses an electronic monocle to check that the painting is authentic, then starts to walk off with it.

Dash: I'll wire the funds immediately and take her off your hands.

Carmen motions for Zack to stop him by motioning her finger across her neck. Zack runs to Dash and repeats the gesture.

Zack: Does, uh, this mean anything to you?

Dash: Heh. I'll inform the Countess.

Cleo: Mr. Haber, report.

Dash: The painting checks out. But I think the Duke would prefer to deal directly with you?

Cleo: Duke? I promised a complete collection. If I don't have number 34 in my hands tomorrow night, I'll be laughingstock of the criminal underworld.

Dash: The Countess wishes to invite you to a dinner party and auction.

Zack: Great! Yeah, text me the address.

Dash: Good. A car will pick you up tomorrow, 5pm sharp. And no plus-ones, just the painting.

As soon as he closes the door, Ivy throws the wig at his head.

Ivy: Is your brain made of Swiss cheese? Yes, the kind with the holes.

Player: Why would Cleo auction the Vermeers after going through so much trouble to complete the set?

Carmen: The thrill of the hunt doesn't last long for her. And the combined value of the art could easily surpass one billion dollars.

Ivy: [whistles] Hello, V.I.L.E. slush fund.

Carmen: We'll only have a brief window to steal back all 34 while they're under one roof before they scatter to the winds. The good news is, we're invited to a party.

Player: And... the not so good?

Carmen: We only have 24 hours to transform Zack into a convincing duke.

Zack is standing in front of a mirror.

Carmen: Cleo will expect a duke to speak in proper diction. Repeat after me: "Park the car in Aardvark Yard."

Zack, with a Boston accent: Park the car in Aardvark Yard.

Carmen, moving his mouth up and down: Park the car in Aardvark Yard.

Zack: Park the car in-- hold on, hold on. I'm gonna get it.

Carmen: Cleo will expect a gentleman to wear appropriate wardrobe.

Zack: Aw no, not a monkey suit.

Ivy: It suits you. You're way more monkey than man.

Carmen: Salad fork.

Zack: Okay.

Carmen: Table fork.

Zack: Got it.

Carmen: Dessert fork.

Zack: Yum, dessert!

Carmen: Fish fork.

Zack: Yuck! F-F-Fish? Oh, come on! You never said I'd have to eat fish.

Carmen: If they serve it, just keep telling yourself it tastes like chicken. You need to learn enough talking points about art history to fit in.

Zack: Oh come on. Why?

Carmen: Because if Cleo thinks for even one moment you are not who you say you are, she'll feed you to her dogs.

Zack: Just don't let her feed me any fish. Okay, okay, okay. Small fork, salad, dessert fork, cake. Small fork... Park the car in Aadvark Yard. Park the car in Aardvark... Park the fork in Salad Yard. Park the fork in my mouth.

Carmen: Zack, you ready?

Zack: Ready to park the car in Aardvark Yard.

Ivy: Dude, that's weird, right?

Carmen: It's showtime.

Zack goes to the limo. Carmen and Ivy watch from the car.

Cleaner: Arms?

He extends his arms. They use a wand to check him for contraband.

Ivy: No tracker?

Carmen: First thing they check for.

Cleaner: Clean.

Cleaner: We go.

He puts a bag over Zack's head. When they drive off, Carmen and Ivy follow.

Carmen: You're doing great, Ivy. Just keep a safe distance. ...We have a tail.

Ivy: Would you look at that. A tail tailing a tail.

Chase: This A.C.M.E. technology is more my speed.

Julia, on a screen: Agent Devineaux, the hotel guests registered under a fake name, but I was able to connect the payment source to the van rental. You may very well be following the Duchess.

Chase: Or, Carmen Sandiego.

Julia: I suppose that is possible.

Chase: Ohoho! Delighted to hear that you agree for once.

Julia: But depriving the world of historic works of art does not seem to be Ms. Sandiego's M.O.

Chase: Bah! Just see what you can learn in the hotel suite. I am driving.

Julia: But Agent Devin--

Carmen: Hmm, an old admirer... in a new set of wheels. Player, there's a bridge half a klick southeast of us. Can you hack into it?

Player: I'm on it.

Carmen: Take this turn.

She does. Chase follows.

Player: Ah, a drawbridge. Coming right up.

He starts to raise each side of the drawbridge from the middle.

Carmen: Straight ahead. Step on it.

Ivy: Really?

Carmen: Make the jump, Ivy. We can't let our tail blow Zack's cover.

Chase: You jump, I jump.

Ivy: Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh! I can't!

She slams on the brakes. Chase sails ahead.

Chase: Nooooo!

The car half makes the jump. Then he sees Carmen in his rear-view mirror.

Chase: You! Haha, I knew you were behind...

His movements cause the car to start falling backward.

Chase: No, no, no, no, no... noooooo!

The car plummets into the water.

anon did you. did you type this all out yourself because i would like to shake your hand