#cries in how do i find myself a waylon

[goldstrikes-archive]

he's so baby.

[uncannychange]

Waylon “Hondo” (he really liked that movie) Taylor was one of the boldest, manliest and best stock car drivers in the world, and the year 1975 looked like it was going to be his year.

He was winning every race he entered the only thing in his life that was touch and go, was all the girls he was touching and going away from, Love `em and leave `em and win big and forget the chicks you had fun with, there are more around the next racecourse, that was Hondo Taylor’s motto.

Then after one wild encounter with a girl named Sally Candal that got out of control Waylon found himself not his usual sharp self and spun out on the track.

His racer looked bad. Hondo was in worse shape.

Fortunately, for the racer, one of the world’s greatest plastic surgeons was in the town where the crash took place.

Waking up unable to move due to a head to toe body cast he was informed that things were so bad that the doctor was going to have to put him into an induced coma a rebuild him from top to bottom.

As the knockout, gas, and injections were being readied one of the nurses reassured Hondo “don’t worry, Doctor Candal is a genius, you’ll be better than ever when it’s all done.”

“Candal? Does she mean Sally’s fa…,” thought Waylon as the darkness washed over him.

Five months later Waylon awoke in a hospital room to find the cast and the bandages removed.

Using his atrophied muscles as best he could to see what condition his looks were in, (after all he had his priorities) That his hair had grown out while in recovery was the least of the shocks that Waylon got looking at himself in the mirror.  

“Where’s the old me!” said Hondo in an alien high pitched voice, the results of a new shaved vocal cord technique that unknown to Hondo, he had been the first person it had been used on.

Collapsing into a chair Waylon didn’t know what to do or think, then an orderly entered the room, “Ready for your recovery makeover Miss Jones?” Too stunned to say anything Waylon just let himself be placed in a wheelchair and rolled off.

Taken into a salon in the hospital they started to work on his hair, Hondo just did his best to take it all in without freaking out at what he saw in the well-lit mirrors of the salon.

Someone entered the salon and handed Waylon a piece of paper it was a letter. Hondo read.

Dear Windy,

As stunning as this will sound to you that is person you are now.

Five months ago, you had your way with my daughter Sally Candal, you made promises you had no intentions of keeping, then you left her with a flip “bye girl it’s over” Sally is a sensitive girl, I doubt she’ll ever be the same. Now neither will you.

When you came in three months ago, I knew what I would do. I had just had a charity patient without family by the name of Windy Margret Jones in need of extreme facial reconstruction die of heart complications at the same time you came in.

I put you in her room and her body in yours; I am influential enough that they even let me do the autopsy, and the remains were cremated. You had a lovely funeral, A. J. Foyt cried.  

My very loyal staff assisted me on your remaking; on a whim, I based it on your last name.

If I say so myself I think I’ve done a very good job when you get back to your room be sure to check it out, it all works by the way.

I’ve seen to everything, it does not matter who you were, now you are impoverished waitress Windy Margret Jones, age 40 and thanks to my largess given a chance to a whole new life.

Which I’ve also done to you, just not the one you are accustom to, you were a horrid man Mister Taylor, I hope you can become a better woman as Miss Jones. At least you will find out just how had it can be as one.

Oh, and don’t try telling anyone about this, I’ve done a very good job putting you in Wendy’s life; I even gave you her fingerprints. Whatever the case, after your little makeover here you are going too discharged with five hundred dollars, a new outfit, all the pills and prescriptions you will need to keep appearances up and a list of diners and dives around places where you use to race. After all, a girl needs a job these days.

Your Creator

Doctor T. Candal

Thinking he could use the letter as proof of what had been done to him, Waylon had those hopes dashed when the person who had given him the paper, no doubt one of Candal’s “loyal assistants” took a match to it and it disappeared in a flash, apparently written on flash paper.

Hondo thought about leaping up and attacking the minion but was simply still too week to do anything but give him a hard look. “You’re cute when you’re angry.” Said the message giver and left.

After that, things moved swiftly and soon the new official Windy Jones was on the street, on her own with no idea what to do next.

Four months later the world of stock car racing was about to meet a new racer that had come out of nowhere.

Getting sponsorships from companies that had never been seen on the tracks before Windy “Butterfield” (it was her new favorite movie) Jones was about to make a whole new life for herself build-out of what he had used to be the best at doing.

[sweettoothedtrickster13]

On the Run Chapter 38

Summary: Talking it out

Tags: Eddie Gluskin/Waylon Park, Original Female Character, Outlast: Whistleblower

AO3 Portal

Trevor walks up to Katie's door. It's easy to find- it's the only closed one. "Hey," he says, sitting outside the door facing it with his back against the supports of the banister closing off the stairs. "It's just Trevor. The boys are gone." No response. "I'll just sit here and talk until you open that door, you know I will."

A few moments of silence. "What do you want," Katie bites out.

"To talk."

"Then talk."

"Not until I see your face." Katie sighs and opens the door slightly, face stony. "There you are," Trevor says gently.

"What do you want, Trevor?"

"First, you need to eat. Come on." He stands and walks downstairs. She follows him. She sits at the counter while he heats up food, then waits until she's eaten every scrap. "Ok. Now let's talk." He puts the dish in the sink and rinses it, not wanting food to get stuck to it. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She's closed off, defensive.

"You've been sitting in your room for three days and haven't spoken a word." She doesn't answer.

"Talk." Trevor's tone is strong, but he doesn't judge her. Something big happened to her to make her react the way she did.

"I was stupid, alright? I wasn't aware of my surroundings and I got caught. And I knew none of y'all knew, so I helped myself. Happy?"

"Nope. Keep going." Trevor knows there's more, even if he doesn't know exactly what.

Katie scowls at the counter. "That's it."

"I don't think so," Trevor says. He ducks his head to get eye contact. "Why won't you talk to them?"

Katie's shoulders tense and she breaks eye contact again. Trevor waits. "What do you want me to say," she asks quietly.

"The truth would be nice."

She shrugs slightly, still not looking at him. "The leader. When he was talking about how they caught us the first time, he implied that...Sam only cared about Kyle and Kyle only cared about Sam."

"And you think that means they don't care about you," Trevor connects the dots.

A nearly imperceptible nod comes from her.

"Aw, Hell," Trevor says. "He's just trying to get in your head. And I'm surprised you let him."

"They're always around each other. I feel like a fucking third wheel in my own home."

"That's not the whole truth, is it," he asks.

"No," she admits after a handful of seconds.

"It's just us. And I won't tell nobody," Trevor says gently.

Katie sniffles. "I don't want them to leave," she whispers.

"There it is," he says quietly. Katie covers her face. Trevor sits next to her and waits her out while she cries. She dries her face and sits up.

"That's such a stupid thought," Katie reprimands herself. "Like, Sam has a family and Kyle will leave and I'll be alone again."

"You don't have to stay here," Trevor points out.

"This is the only home I've ever known." That breaks Trevor's heart.

"Then make it a home," Trevor says. "Have someone come and live, get into a relationship or something," he adds. Katie sniffles and grabs a napkin, wiping her nose. "And don't you dare say nothing about your weight," he warns.

"Wasn't gonna."

"Good," he nods. He looks at her. "Now, can I call the boys back and you can talk to them?" Katie takes a steadying breath and nods. Trevor sends the text.

Barnes scowls. He let Ellis get away. On her own this time, no less. He had found the broken chair and snapped it more over his knee, snarling. These three. They're not even especially talented, they're just fucking slippery. And the town has rallied around them. He was lucky to have found their house, but he had to move fast and was alone so he couldn't even bug it. And now he won't get the chance. They'll never leave it unoccupied again. He growls to himself.

Breckenridge comes back and sees that he's pissed and wisely stays away. Breckenridge is not too happy himself with having to ride into town and sit in town hall sifting through useless document after useless document for hours on end every day. He knows that the town is drowning them, probably under the direction of that asshole, Stokes. How he gets the town to listen to him without question is beyond him.

The others trickle back, most of them stretching to get the cricks out of their necks and backs from sitting and reading papers all day.

Clifton is the one who approaches Barnes eventually. "Boss," he says, getting him nothing but a scowl. "What's the plan?"

Barnes calms himself and thinks. "Surveillance," he says after a moment. "We'll ask for some drones to be sent." Clifton nods and lets him be. Barnes thinks about what else they'll need to surveil the town. They brought some equipment, but not enough to cover the town. Maybe two bugs and three pinhole cameras. "Thorpe," he calls, and the man picks his head up.

"Sir."

"Equipment check." Thorpe nods and the others help him set out all their equipment. Mostly weapons- they are a strike team after all- but like he thought. A few pieces of surveillance equipment, and he was even right on the count. They also have three GPS trackers and some equipment to clone phones. The nice thing about the cloning part is that it's wireless. All they have to do is get close enough to a phone and press a button. The equipment will do the rest of the process on its own.

"Ok. What have you found out," Barnes asks.

"We're drowning in documents, sir," Wescott admits. "And I think the clerk keeps adding them when we aren't there."

"See if you can get a camera in there," Barnes orders. "Anything else?"

"Seems like Stokes is staying with them now," Victors says.

"Get a clone on his phone when he leaves. What are the major buildings in town?"

"The library," Clifton says.

"The general store," Summers adds.

"The market, but that's more of an area," Georgeson says.

"See if you can stick a camera in the general store. Do these read lips," he asks. Blackburn checks.

"Two of them do," she says.

"Put the one that can't in the general store. And bug the library near the front desk."

"Yes, sir," several of the team say.

"Anything else?" Head shakes. "Alright. Go."

They disperse again, going to follow orders.

Jess feels almost-sheepish when Waylon and Eddie come back. When they catch sight of her, a wide grin settles on Way's face and a small smile on Eddie's. Trevor goes upstairs to give them privacy.

"It's good to see you, Jess," Waylon says. Eddie nods his agreement.

Jess exhales. "I needed time."

"And we gave it to," Eddie points out.

"Thanks."

"So are you going to tell us why you were avoiding us or am I going to have to beat it out of you," Eddie asks with a raised eyebrow. Jess laughs.

"Yeah right. Any time, any place," she jokes. The humor disappears in an instant and she looks at the counter, picking at the edge. "I thought you guys didn't care about me."

"What? Why would you think that," Waylon asks, sitting next to her and putting his hand on her shoulder.

"That leader guy, he said that neither of you mentioned my name when we were captured."

"He was lying, trying to get in your head," Eddie says, taking a half step closer.

"That's what Trevor said. But," she trails off. "I don't know. You two are always together, and I feel like you only come to me when you need me."

"That's not true, Jess," Waylon says earnestly. "We wanted your help in planting, but you wouldn't come down."

Jess smiles wryly and looks at their glass back doors.

"We didn't know you were missing," Eddie says. "If we had, we would have come and gotten you."

"Thanks," Jess says quietly. Waylon rubs across her shoulderblades and pulls her in. She puts her head on his shoulder.

"Now come on, the video call is tomorrow. You'll get to see Paul and Hunter again."

Jess nods and straightens. "Trevor," she calls. He comes downstairs, smiling.

"Everything good now," he asks. The trio nods.

"But I do need to see Jerome," Jess says as she stands.

"Why," Waylon asks with a frown.

"We need to get some things so that Murkoff can't track us now that they're in town."

Trevor nods. "I'll call for him to come get you."

Jess leaves with the young man and they go to his house. Once there, Jess turns to him. "Do you have anything I can use to block any RFID readers or detect bugs or anything like that," she asks.

Jerome beams. "I actually have a few bug detectors around," he nods. "And everyone in town already has an anti-RFID chip reader on their wallets."

"Marry me," Jess says. Jerome laughs loudly, making her smile. "Show me those bug detectors."

Jerome leads her to his dining room, where she had gotten all the parts to build the second computer. He picks up a slim silver device and hands it over. Jess turns it over in her hands. "And there's nothing is in this house, right?"

"Right. I have magnets on the entrances and exits hidden in the jambs, they'll pretty much fuck with anything electronic that's turned on when they pass."

"You're the best."

Jerome smiles. "Anything else?"

"White noise generator," Jess offers.

"Somewhere," Jerome mutters to himself, looking through the drawers. He makes a victorious noise after a few moments, producing a small black speaker. Jess accepts it from him and smiles down at it. "Thank God for paranoia and boredom."

 Jess nods and smiles. “Mind if I help you make a few more? We can stick them in the buildings around town.”

 “The more the merrier.”

 They sit down and start working. Jess allows herself to be soothed being surrounded by electronics and their parts. She already felt a lot better after talking to Way and Eddie, but this is just what she needed.

 They work together silently until Jess’ phone pings. She checks it- three hours have passed. It’s Waylon, checking on her.      Fine,     she texts back.      Just building a few things. Will be home soon.  

 Jess finishes building the white noise generator she’s been working on and looks over their new stash. Ten in all, plus the one Jerome is building.

 “Did you ever hear of a faraday cage for phones,” Jess asks Jerome. Jerome looks up and chuckles, reaching into his pocket and bringing out his phone. It’s wrapped in a cloth and he hands it over. Jess feels the cloth and laughs- it’s just what she had been talking about. “You were born for this.” Jerome shrugs and his cheeks color slightly, barely noticeable on his dark skin. “Alright, I should be getting home.”

 Jerome nods and drives her there. She goes inside and sits on the couch.

 “What were you building,” Eddie asks.

 “White noise generators. Have you ever been between radio stations and you just hear buzzing,” she asks Eddie, who nods. “That’s white noise. What I was building makes that so that Murkoff can’t listen in on what we’re saying in town.”

 Eddie nods his understanding. “It’s amazing how many computer things there are.”

 “Now I just need to get in touch with VIRALeaks,” Jess says, pulling a computer closer.

 “Why,” Waylon asks.

 “They need to know Murkoff is in town. Maybe they can give us some information on who these guys are.” Waylon nods and Jess starts to type.

 Waylon and Eddie make dinner in the meantime and Jess finishes what she’s doing in time to eat.

 “What else did you do with Jerome,” Waylon asks while Trevor cleans up.

 “He already had bug detectors, God bless him. And a cloth faraday cage for his phone, and everyone in town already has an anti-RFID scan wallet.”

 Trevor holds up his wallet to showcase it.

 “Back up,” Eddie says. “Explain.”

 “A faraday cage is basically a box you can put electronics in so that no radio waves get in or out,” Waylon explains. Eddie still looks blank.

 “Put phone in, Murkoff can’t bug it,” Jess says. Eddie nods. “And an RFID scanner can latch onto your credit cards and see who is buying what in what quantities and get into your bank records. Since they can’t do that, they’ll have to use another way to find out who to pay off.” Eddie nods again. “Now Jerome is gonna get more of those faraday cloths since I can’t make them. Once everyone has them, it should give Murkoff a devil of a time trying to clone anything.”

 “Clone,” Eddie repeats.

 “You can set up a new phone to receive the same calls and texts another one does, and you can listen in on anything you want,” Waylon says.

 Eddie shakes his head. “That’s...a lot.”

 “Age of technology,” Jess shrugs. “Not always a good thing.”

[underheart-magica2000]

UnderHeart - Warning: Turtles Bite Too

Chapter 20!?1?!!! What! Can you Loves believe it!?! We are all the way on chapter 20! This is insane! \^o^/

Well we all the drill by now, but just because i guess its tradition now, the story is below, under the cut. (Hope you enjoy and super big thanks for reading this! :)

“Come on, come on, come on!” MK bounces, chocolate eyes alight with overflowing excitement. “We don’t want to miss it!” He cries, swishing his tail around behind us like a very mad broom.

“I’m hurrying,” I say with a little huff, hoisting the sunshine yellow umbrella a little higher into the air so the rain will stop hitting MK on the top of his spikes. “And what are we trying to see anyway?”

MK’s eyes sparkle and his face twists into a huge smile that shows off all his little sharp teeth, “Why, I’m going to show you the most amazing monster in the whole Underground!”

I raise an eyebrow at that statement, because I highly doubt anyone could be cooler then Sans, or tougher then Undyne, or kinder then Toriel, or as good a cook as Papyrus, but I still nod at MK’s statement. Obviously whoever this monster was they meant a lot to him, so I will wait to make my own judgments.

Before to long we finally make it out of the Waterfall part of Waterfall, MK runs ahead as I try to get the umbrella back in it’s holder, abandoning me to the cold wet caves all by myself. I hurry after him as fast as I can, and I do finally catch up, but only because MK’s staring into space dreamily in the middle of the cave.

He snaps out of it pretty quick and then proceeds to gush on and on about some monster I haven’t even meet, and about how cool he is and how dangerous and amazing his job as the The Captain of the Royal Gaurd is, and if only I had run a little faster I could have seen him. I nod along, but overall just try to get him back on track, which is us getting out of this cold wet cave.

“I cannot believe how unlucky you are!” MK says with a bounce as we start heading across a bridge made of rock that hangs over a cliff I can’t see the bottom of. “If you had just-,”

“MK,” I breathe heavily with a sigh, “I get it, I’m sorry I missed it, can we adventure now?”

MK smiles sheepishly and nods in agreement, spinning around quickly so I won’t see his reddening scales. “Let’s just-,” he slips on wet rocks as he tries to hurry across the bridge. “Annabell!” He yells as he slides over the edge, his sharp shark like teeth the only thing keeping him from falling into the pit below.

“Hold on I’m-,”

“And wha’ are you two youngens up to?” An amused and powerful voice asks from the the side of the cave we just left.

“My friend is in trouble!” I explain quickly, not sparing the new monster a glance as I tug on MK’s sweater, trying and failing to pull him up. “Can you help me-,”

“Now why in the name of the Stars would I ever help you?” The voice asks, with the same lighthearted tone. “I bet it’s your fault he’s down there in the first place,” he goes on, “right human?” And this time the voice is directly behind me. I freeze up, scared out of my mind, but I keep my grip on MK and pull again. I won’t let him die just because I’m a weak human.

“Annabell’s my friend!” MK protests, unlatching from the ledge to yell. He slides another five inches down the side of the bridge before he grabs another outcropping of rock with his teeth.

“Please you have to-,” I’m pushed roughly out of the way, and almost go tumbling over the edge of the bridge myself. In my place stands a turtle, a turtle with light yellow skin and a grey shell, covered with pictures of war, in the very middle is the same Delta Rune as my cloak. He walks on two legs despite being a giant turtle and has a large hammer strapped to his belt.

“Here we go youngen,” he says, easily hoisting MK over the edge by the back of his yellow sweater and dropping him on his butt, safe and sound on top of the bridge. “No more careless ‘ventures for you, k?” He orders pointing a rather dismissive finger at the armless monster. “Now run ‘long. I have business with this here human, and it isn’t pleasant for youn’ eyes to be witnessin’.”

MK jumps to his feet quicker then the turtle monster can turn around, “She’s my friend!” He yells, hoping over to where I am and definitely standing in front of me, with a glare in his eyes. “You have to understand Gerson!” He cries as the turtle monster with a mustache, Gerson, sighs deeply. “She tried to save me! No evil human would do that!”

Gerson ponders that for a second and it’s all the time MK needs, he bends down and grabs my cloak in his teeth pulling me up and then dragging me off the bridge. “Hey! Get back here ye two!” Gerson yells after us as we race through the maze of slippery caves and glowing mushrooms.

“We just have to make it to Hotland!” MK yells over Gerson’s constant stream of monster bad words, “he doesn’t like the heat and won’t follow us!”

“How much longer?” I ask as I notice that we’re starting to lose ground and my lungs are burning.

“Not far!” He pants rounding a corner with wide eyes, “THERE!”

In front of us stretches a faint neon sign, which reads “HOTLAND”. It seems we did make it. I won’t die here, I’ll keep my promise to Waylon, I’ll find him!

Suddenly everything stops, I trip over the air and land face first on the hard stone ground. MK slides to a stop in front of me, his eyes wide in horror, looking back I understand why, a Fight screen as appeared in front of me, along with my floating white soul.

Gerson huffs in his place 20 feet from me, his own fight screen floating before him, though his soul is nowhere to be seen. He squints funnily at my white soul and eyes the spot where my [ATTACK] button should be with a strange expression on his face.

“Finally caught ya human,” he huffs hand hovering over his [ATTACK] button, “Now we can finish tis the right way.”

I swallow thickly as MK yells from behind me for Gerson to stop. His own Fight Screen and white soul appearing before him as he slides into place next to me, a determined look in his chocolate eyes. I want to tell him to leave, to run away and leave me, because there is no way we can beat this monster, the leader of the Royal Guard. But I know MK won’t leave no matter what I say, so I take a deep breath and prepare myself to defend MK.

“Look,” Gerson sighs shaking his head in annoyance, but never removing his hand from its position above the [FIGHT] button. “I know you’re jus’ tryin’ to protect your friend. But listen here youngen that’s a human, and it’s going to kill you. So before it does I’m going to kill it.”

MK doesn’t say anything for a long moment, then he takes a deep breath and head buts the [ACT] button, pulling up another menu which leaves me breathless at its contents. Every single option is [DEFEND].

He head buts the screen again and moves in front of me, puffing out his shoulders and standing on the tips of his toes so he’s taller and more imposing. “I used to look up to you!” MK yells across the field, “You’re the strongest monster in the whole Underground and they say you’re the reason the King came back alive from the final battle!” He yells, as Gerson flinches at the memory. “But you’re just a bully! Annabell is my friend and you’re not going to hurt her! Human or not she saved me!!”

Gerson stares at us, wide eyed and mouth agape, confusion etched into his very soul. But pain also clouds his startled eyes, pain and fear. The Fight screens vanish along with our souls.

“Thank you for not-,” I start to say, only to blink in confusion when I stare at an empty cave, Gerson is gone.

………………………..

<First Chapter>

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[londonspirit]

One Last Time...

... for this year, that is! (Hopefully they sort their Brexit shit out soon, otherwise I have no clue when I can be back!) 

Anyhow, this trip was wonderful, mad and all around fantastic! (the usual then! *grins*) 

Flew over with my friend S., and naturally we had a one hour delay to start our vacation (we do have a bad travel karma, me thinks, not the first time). And sadly that was the reason I (again) didn’t managed to meet up with my L, cause she only had about an hour between engagements, and that was exactly the hour our flight was late. (Here’s hope we’ll manage another meet-up soon’ish before she goes back to the States, it’s been too long and I really miss her!) 

Upon arrival it was raining! Boo! But after dropping off our luggage and finding us dinner, we didn’t want to go to bed (afternoon flight there, evening arrival) so we decided to have a quick wander around. It had stopped raining which was perfect for a nightly walk.  Wow, even wet London is beautiful, and even more so at night. Streets were mostly empty (not empty enough to be scary tho) and we took much longer than expected.  Stumbled across filming by the side of the river - there were a few people in safety vests and we were already wondering when one approached us. He told us they were filming in a side alley, and not to worry, we could just walk past but shouldn’t stop. Of course we walked very slowly but we didn’t see much or anyone we knew. It was pretty dark, and all we say was a huge projection into the air. *shrugs* Still curious as to what was filmed there (we went there on the last day but no signs at all).  We were in bed way past midnight... (my usual London bed time!) 

Monday was HAMILTON DAY! But in the evening - we had the whole morning and early afternoon to explore some more!  So we went to Greenwich - by BOAT!! That was soo cool. I’ve taken one of the boats two years ago with Sis but only for a few stops, this time we went all the way. And even thought it’s not cheap (Oyster card does make it a bit cheaper tho), it’s totally worth it - the view from the water is amazing! And since the weather was still not very tourist friendly, we had the entire back to ourselves.  I can def recommend it - you see so much from that side. Plus, it’s quick, we were in Greenwich within 15 minutes!  Found coffee and walked up that hill to the observatory! The view was foggy but still amazing. And since the coffee didn’t want to go back to the city with us, we wandered inside to find a loo.  Did you know that you can go inside and check out a few of the rooms without having to pay? Cause I did NOT! And boy, is it cool inside. Loads to see, and touch, and just perfect for a grey and misty day. We spent 3 hours or so in there, bought souvenirs, checked out the old telescope inside, climbed small stairs, looked at all the time measure methods humanity had invented over the centuries, and had a great time!  After that we returned to the hostel to get ready for the evening. 

The smile on my face when I saw the Victoria Palace Theatre again was HUGE! I fucking LOVE this place soo much!!! Especially when it’s all lit in the dark!  Getting inside was just as smooth as ever! (And this time we even saw the dog, didn’t meet it tho as we arrived and were inside like 2 minutes later, despite a pretty long queue!)  Inside we walked around, looked at the Pretty all around and then we went to our seats. 

DUDE!!! I had booked a box back in January, but I had no idea that we would’ve had one all to ourselves. It’s just for TWO seats (not four as I expected), and it’s the coolest thing ever!  We got us drinks to pass the time (you can only take so many pics of that beautiful stage!), and once again the staff showed why they deserved all the praise! I got us two bottles of cider but since bottles aren’t allowed inside, two of the ushers made sure to fill it all into plastic cups! And when it all didn’t fit into two cups, they held the doors for me to bring it to the box and when I returned for the rest, they were already waiting for me! Those people are the real heroes! And everything with a smile and the loveliest attitude!!! 

And when it finally was time, I might have made noises. Being this close (with nobody in front of you, or behind you for that matter), being able to lean forward and chairdance, is the best thing ever!!! 

I was a bit sad that we didn’t get Obi or Jason, but Gabriel and Waylon did so well, it didn’t last long.  And boy, Mondays are an amazing day to go and see it! Every single soul on that stage was on FIRE!!! (Not sure whether that’s because they have the Sunday to recharge, or because some will have their last performances in the next weeks, but it was WORTH going  on a Monday!) 

I had booked that because I wanted to see Ash, as people kept raving about him (and I had seen Jam twice now). He did NOT disappoint.  His performance differs so much from Jam’s; not in a bad way, no. But he’s so into it, so ... THERE?! More intense?! Can’t really describe it. He’s fantastic. And being this close, seeing all those expressions, the cheek, the sass, the sadness, made this time so much better than the last two times.  Ash is incredible and sooo worth seeing! (although I missed the height difference between Jam and Rachelle, Ash is her height.) 

I was very happy that we got Giles, cause I’ve fallen fast and hard for his Burr!!! He’s put such a different twist on him, and once you got used to him, he IS Burr. What I love is that you can see all those little physical actions, he’s doing a lot with his body, and also with his face. Small things you miss when you’re further away. A raised eyebrow, a bitten lip, a suppressed grin. GOD, I will miss him soo much!!! There are times when I wanted to hug him and then there were times when I wanted to slap him. He’s such a great actor, and I will fight anyone who says differently!!!!! 

As for the rest of the cast, they were brilliant as usual; even though I really had the feeling everyone was giving even more than the 500% they already do!! SO DAMN AMAZING!!!  There was a big cheer for “Alexander Hamilton” in the beginning (as it should be), but weirdly NOTHING at the “Immigrants” line!!! O_O That shocked me a bit! I’ve been three times now, and I’ve had a different reactions every damn time! So weird!  Yorktown got an in between applause which I never seen/heard! Was very nice.  The King got all the laughs, naturally.  What else?  Oh, so Tarinn and Cleve are basically themselves in costumes on stage: they kept goofing around and grinning like idiots at themselves, which was adorable.  And I now know why people are shipping Laurens and Ham - the gazing loving at each other was INSANE!! *lol*  Rachel is madly talented but that you already know. That woman’s voice, her acting - GEEZ!! HOW?? So soo good!!!  Christine... god, that voice! Melted chocolate, poured over warm coals, making one feel all warm and fuzzy (and very sinful)  inside. GUH!!  Also: the ensemble blew me away, the perfection they put on that stage (night after night) is MAD!! I found myself watching them more and more, wondering how the human body is capable of the things they do and make it look easy as breathing!! WOW!!! 

It was over way too soon, and I even cried in the end. I have no idea where that came from but Rachelle really made me tear up during the last song. Never had that before. (And she’s the only one I’m still not fully convinced with; she’s good but this is NOT the perfect role for her)  So yeah, I did my final applause in tears!!! 

We stuck around towards the very end, and for the very first time, they let down the safety curtain!!! O_O (They did in the interval as well for a moment). 

And then it was stage door time. It’s all well organized and sorted, and we queued up and waited. It wasn’t cold so that wasn’t too bad. Didn’t take long for the first to come out. I didn’t want anything signed, only asked for pics which seemed fine with them all. Although they were all well prepared with sharpies! Kelly is TINY, and so very sweet, and sadly the only one of the girls who came out :-(  Waylon was a bit shy, but also very nice. Gabriel was dressed for artic temps which made me giggle.  Tarinn and Cleve are... well, Tarinn and Cleve! They’re always goofing around, being super sweet to everyone and really taking their time. Cleve enjoyed being the birthday boy, and wishing him a great one, got me a tight hug! Tarinn smells really good, by the way! *hehe*  At some point the security made an announcement. I think he said they were all gone, or nobody wouldn’t come out anymore; we could stay but at our own risk, or something like that. We were at the end of the queue and didn’t catch everything.  Since we didn’t have anywhere to go, we stayed. Which was the right thing to do!  First Giles came out, and that’s when I got a bit nervous! He’s so good, and I never managed to get a pic with him. He took his time, chatted to everyone and was all around the sweetest. Once he came to us, I told him how incredible he was and how much I loved the Muse Of Fire documentary he did ages ago. I think he blushed a bit ;-p When I asked for a pic, he pulled me real close and thanked ME afterwards!! O_O  Hach, he’s amazing!!  And then Ash came out as well (lots had left already so we were only a few people). And the silly man did NOT have a pen!  The ladies behind us asked if we had one. When I pulled out my assortment of sharpies (three: black, silver and bronze!) I ALWAYS have on me, they laughed so hard.  Hey, you can never be prepared enough - as that night taught us!!! Once again, we only asked for pics, and praised him, told him how fab he was, and that we booked a Monday just for him,, which made him laugh. “Heard of me, did ya?” he said, cheeky bugger. But yeah, we did. So we got another really tight pic - that cast is so touchy feely, I swear! I love them all to pieces!!! SO SWEET!  He chatted a bit before moving along.  We waited a bit longer but that was it so we reluctantly left towards ‘home’. (Once again, it was LATE!) 

The next morning we got up early to have one last walk around, and London was gracious and got out the sun and basically summer weather!  We didn’t want to leave but sadly we had to.  So long, my beautiful! See you next year - in February, for sure. After that... well, that depends on how you get your shit sorted!  Once more, a fantastic time was had, with the best company I could’ve wished for! Thank you, S, I know why I love traveling with you - here’s to our next time!!! 

[willow-wonderland]

Mommy

You told me the day you got me that you would always be here for me to love and to take care of me. I believed you.

You told me when I was three that I was one of the most caring kids you had ever known and that you loved me. I believed you.

When I was four, I was starting school and you told me that everything was going to be okay. You told me to be nice to everyone and that everything else would work itself out. You told me on my first day before dropping me off that you loved me. I believed you.

When I was nine, I started developing depression from being bullied along with other issues. You didn't know, but you sensed a change in me. You did things to try and make me happier and told me you loved me more. I believed you.

When I was 10, I developed an eating disorder. You didn't know, but you knew I lost some weight. You thought it was just my body changing. You told me I was growing. I believed you.

When I was 11, I started having panic/anxiety attacks. Most of them happened in the middle of the night with me screaming and/or crying myself awake. You told me I would be okay. I believed you.

When I was 12, I broke the growth plate in my ankle. I had to have surgery. I was scared. I was scared of the needles, scared to go under, I was just scared. You told me that I would be alright and that you wouldn't leave me. You told me I was strong enough for it and that you would always be here to help me. I believed you.

When I was 13, you got diagnosed with gastric adenocarcinoma--stomach cancer. Everything around me came crashing down. They caught it in stage zero, the earliest stage possible, and you told me that was good. You told me you were going to live and that there was hope. I believed you. When I was 13, the depression got worse. I started self medicating. I took pills. I drank alcohol. I smoked. I cut a lot worse than when I started. This is the year you found out that I cut. You cried a lot because you thought it was your fault. Because I was your little girl and you didn't understand why I did these things. I told you I was sorry and that I would stop. I stopped on June 19, 2015. You told me I would be okay. That you would help me be happy again. I believed you.

When I was 14, I helped you with your chemo treatments. I helped you remember to take your medications everyday. I helped you keep your sugar under control. I helped you shave your head many times. You were okay. You were smiling. You went into remission and you were happy. You told me you were going to live. I believed you.

When I was 15, the cancer came back. Stage 2 1/2 to 3. It was devastating news. We were all upset and had no clue what to do. We took it one day at a time. You were weaker this time with every round of chemo you received. Each treatment took a little more life out of you. Each time, I watched a little more of the happy woman I knew fade away. I began to care for you more and more this time around. I became not only your daughter, but your nurse, your friend, your safe haven. I became the one you turned to for a lot. The one you could always count on. You told me you loved me and that you were thankful for me. I believed you. You told me you were going to be okay. That you would live. I almost believed you.

On September 22, 2017, I turned 16. This was supposed to be one of the best birthdays in my life. Sweet 16. One to remember. And this is one I'll remember. On this particular birthday, everything started out fine. Not great by any means, but a typical day. You weren't feeling good and you had a doctor's appointment to talk about removing your stomach. I went with you. You got me breakfast and then dropped me off at school. I was late, but you told me it was okay since it was my birthday. Then, around the beginning of my last class of the day, I received a message from Callie saying "I called an ambulance. Mom is having really bad chest pains. Think she's having a heart attack." I almost cried. I asked my teacher if I could go make a phone call, that it was an emergency, and I called her. She told me that she was on her way to the hospital and that she was scared and didn't know what was happening. She was crying. I told her to calm down and to just breathe. I told her to either come check me out or have someone else come check me out of school so I could get up there. She got someone to come get me and I came to the hospital. We were there for hours upon hours. They gave you medicine to control the pain, they did scans, but couldn't figure out what was happening. They transferred you to Holston Valley Hospital. You stayed there for 7 days. I stayed at the house by myself each night of those 7 days making trips to school and to the hospital to be there with you. Each day that I came, I knew you were getting worse. I had started cutting myself again in July, but not that bad. In these 7 days, I cut myself consistently for 3 days straight. I had 173 cuts on my legs. I knew you were dying and I didn't want to live in a world where you did not exist. During these 7 days, I started taking pills again. I started smoking again. I stopped eating again. I stopped caring whether I lived or died because it wouldn't be the same living in a world without you. You didn't talk much, but you told me you loved me. That was enough. I believed you.

On September 29, 2017, you got to come home. They ordered you a hospice bed for the house. They said that there was nothing they could do anymore. They told us they were going to make you as comfortable as possible. They gave you two strong medications to keep you out of pain. Callie and I took care of you. We gave you your meds. We kept you warm. We told you we loved you. We were always there. You were home for two days. Within that two days, your sisters were there to see you a lot. All of your kids came to see you. Some people from church came to see you. On the second night, you stopped breathing. Not for very long, but long enough. Callie started freaking out and was scared. She called a hospice nurse to come check on you. He said that if she didn't call an ambulance and get you to the hospital right then, then you wouldn't make it through the night. So, she called and took you. I stayed with Waylon at the house because it was late and he was too little to be there that late. Everyone was there but me. They put you on life support and transferred you back to Holston Valley.

On October 2nd, 2017, all of our lives changed. I skipped school to come to the hospital. You weren't able to speak or anything. You couldn't even keep your eyes open. I don't know if you could hear any of us or not, though I'd like to think you could. All of us were there. Your kids, your sisters, your grandkids, our church family. All of us. This was the hardest day of my life. I kept strong through everything up until the last minute. We all knew you were passing. The doctors told us and I just had a feeling. We all told you it was okay to go. We told you not to worry about us and that we would be fine. I sang to you. I sang some of your favorite songs. I didn't want to be in the room when you passed. None of us had any way of knowing when you would. You had already stayed 3 hours longer than the doctor predicted. I hadn't ate that day and my sugar was dropping, causing me to feel sick. I went on my own to get something to eat, walked around a little bit and came back up. I was in the waiting room talking to Beckle about it all. Neither of us wanted to be in there when you passed. As soon as the words got out of my mouth, Ellie came to tell us that you were gone. I was the first out there to know because I was the first she got to. I felt it then. My stomach dropped. My world crumbled. My heart shattered. My brain became empty. My body went numb. I came into your hospital room. Everyone was crying but I don't remember much. I remember losing it. Every bit of the pain and fear and worry I had been keeping bottled up for the past three years came bursting out of me. Every moment after you passed became a blur. They all told me we would be okay. That I would find a way to continue. To live on for you. I didn't believe them.

It's now December 10, 2017. It's been two months and eight days since you passed. Nothing is easy. They all tell me it'll get easier. That's all they've been telling me since you left. And the truth is, it won't get easier. It'll never be easy. Some days are more bearable that others, yes. Some days, all I want to do is stay in my bed and drown in my own sorrow. There is nothing I would love more than to just speak to you one last time. To hold your hand one last time. To tell you I loved you one last time. To hear your laugh, or to make you smile, or to feel your arms around me one last time. I would give anything for that. There are days when I wake up, and I can live the whole day without crying. Not without thinking of you, but without crying. Other days, I wake up and all I do is cry. I can't make myself stop. All I need is my mommy and you can't be there. So no, not one day on this Earth will ever be easy again. Not one day will ever be the same again. I will never be the same me again. But with each day I live without you, I discover something new about you. I learn to cherish everyone in my life a little more. I learn to see beauty in all things, for we never know when they'll be gone. I learn to smile more. To laugh more often. To hug more people. To tell them how much I love them every single day. I've learned a new meaning to life. I've learned a new me. Out of every version of me, there has never been a me without you. And there still isn't. There never will be. Because you, my beautiful mama, have been woven into the very depths of my being. I am not me if not you. You told me everyday for 16 years that you loved me. I believed you. I told you everyday for 16 years that I love you. I'll tell you that I love you everyday for as long as I live. I believed you every time. I hope you believe me too.

I love you, Mommy. Nothing is the same without you, but I'm trying. I'm living for you. I'm trying for you. I miss you, beautiful.

Yours truly,

Montanna Willow Bartee

[xtalmay]

I once was married with children

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a simple girl with a lonely heart. Ha ha, jk. But seriously... I was once a pretty boring person. I had dreams and hopes, like everyone else. I wanted a man and a house and kids. I also wanted a career and a degree. But I wanted to be a stay at home mom also...... I wanted a lot. Lol. So anyway, when I was 18, I worked for Walmart. A good one too. It was busy, customer service oriented, and clean. It was the first supercenter in our area. Pretty exciting. I loved it. I was able to afford to move out of my parents house and into a rental with a friend from work. After a couple months, I think about three, I met a guy from work. At this point, I had not had a serious boyfriend... Not really. But anyway, this guy worked at Walmart as a unloader. I worked in layaway. So we got to see each other pretty often. I was super shy. Like super shy. I also hated and still do hate, PDA. Anyway, this guy's name is Jared. We started seeing eachother in August of 2003. I moved in with him in October of 2003. He also asked me to marry him in November of 2003. I was in love. He loved me. I didn't really know what it was about him that I loved,but I did. In March of 2004, we moved to NM from WA. Furthest I had ever been from my dad or any of my family before. It was rough. I was homesick a lot. But my parents flew me up to visit often. It was pretty cool. He never went with me. When I was 22, so 2006, I missed my family. I wanted to move back home. We didn't have anything going for us in NM. I was starting to hate the desert. We were broke. I couldn't find a job I loved. I missed the rainforest. He didn't understand. So I talked to my dad, and like a thief in the night I ran away from Jared back to my dad's house. Probably could have done that better...... But I didn't know how to leave. It was a rough time. But I missed him so much. All I wanted to do was go back. To him. Maybe I was infatuated. I don't know. But I went back. After only two weeks. When I turned 23,i wanted to try for a baby. I thought (stupidly) that he would change. Maybe care for someone other than himself for once. Maybe he would be able to put his child before himself. Boy, was I wrong. The summer of 2008, I gave birth to our daughter, Jade. 4 days later we got married. I really wasn't happy except with jade. She was my world. I was growing more and more irritated with the selfishness of him. He drove me nuts. I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him anymore. Little things. Like overdrawing our account every paycheck. He had to have games for his Xbox the second they came out. He couldn't wait till payday. I tried to get our finances in order. I couldn't. He always thought he knew better. We played a game I called the 'payday loan shuffle' would borrow from one to pay another. It was terrible. I hated it. I was constantly stressed out. Cried a lot because I felt helpless. When jade was 2 months old, I went to WA to visit and introduce jade to my family. While there, I had to have surgery to remove my gallbladder. What was supposed to be 2 weeks, turned into 5 weeks. While in the hospital, he would call me and constantly talk about how he missed me. And what was he going to do without me. And when was I coming home.... Not once did he really ask how I felt. Or if I was doing alright. Never cared about jade or myself. Just himself. It was all about him. I loved being up there, but in a way I missed Jared. Just enough. So when I got home, I asked him if we could move back. I missed my dad and my family. I wanted my kid to go to a good school. And I wanted to get out of the desert. He promised in 5 years we could go back. So I held onto that hope. And a couple years later my son was born. I didn't get to visit WA much anymore because plane tickets are expensive and I would have to travel with two kids now. I didn't go up for a couple years. I still missed my family. A lot. I tried being a more attentive partner. I was restless so I would ask to go on walks in the neighborhood. He would refuse. I asked to go out in the desert behind out house and lay in the back of the truck and stargaze. He would say yeah in a little while...... We never went. I was getting more and more depressed. When my kids were 4 and 2,i remember making Pancakes, and one of the drippings looked like a heart. And I remember thinking to myself that jade would like it..... But I just stared at it. No happiness was left. I was sad, depressed and wanted to cry. I decided that things needed to change. I'm not and never have been suicidal. Just sad. And depressed. So in January of 2013, I decided to get my own bank account and start a savings account. I had to do something to have a little control over our finances. Even if I was the only one paying bills, at least I knew they would be paid. Jared hated it. He hated our money being separate. He couldn't use my money anymore. His account was still overdrawn every payday. Mine never was. It was crazy how I had felt like it was my fault we never had money..... I guess it wasn't me after all. I was starting to feel a little better. I didn't have any loans in my name. I didn't have an overdrawn account. I was actually putting small amounts into savings. I was also able to convince him to have our tax return deposited into my account, since I wasn't overdrawn. Not sure how, but it worked. I was able to help him pay off loans. We got our bills paid up. It was a nice feeling. But then he was constantly asking me for money. Constantly. It was annoying. But I didn't give him any. I would pay bills. I was tapped out but the lights didn't get turned off. We had running water. The house was current. It was worth it. So I got a gym membership to try and get my life going again. A couple of friends from work had joined the same gym as me. Waylon and Kelly. They were cool guys and I enjoyed hanging out with them. So I mentioned to waylon one day at work that I was going to that gym and he said he and Kelly were too, and that I should join them. I agreed. It would be safer to go at night with two guys than by myself. Over the course of 3 months, I started getting back into shape, after ten years of being over weight. Ten years. Jeez. I finally was down 2 pants sizes. And almost 30lbs. It was awesome. I also became close friends with Waylon. We played online together a couple times. He fixed my computer for me. Just a really cool friend. After the gym we would go grab food, the three of us. And then hang out in the parking lot and chat for a while. It was fun. I felt like I had a life. Small as it was. But I looked forward to the time we spent together. I have always got along better with guys than girls. No drama. Lol. I was starting to be more independent and I stopped reporting to Jared. In April 2013, I decided to tell Jared I wanted a divorce. I had talked to my dad. I had talked to a couple really close friends. I was so incredibly unhappy. Once I made the decision to divorce him, I felt so much better. I felt like the pieces were falling into place. In the end of April, I told him. Officially. I didn't have anywhere to go. I couldn't leave my children. They weren't in school yet, so I didn't have to deal with that. But I also didn't make enough money to move out. So I moved into my son, Rileys room. He was a baby still so I had the room mostly to myself. One day in May, I was sitting on the couch and Jared says he wants to take the kids to the park. He had never done that with me before, I always took them myself. He never went for a walk with me. He never went stargazing with me. Never anything, unless it was beneficial to him in some way. Ever. He asked if I wanted to join him, and I looked right at him with a straight face, and told him no. I didn't want to go. He got super sulky. He then loaded up the kids and left. The second he drove away, I ran to my room, packed my gym bag with gym clothes and a couple outfits, and my travel bag of toiletries. I then jumped in the car and took off. I called my dad. I text a friend. I called Waylon. I didn't have anywhere to go. I just had to get out. I ended up at waylon's house. It was the last person I called and he answered. I felt liberated. I knew from that moment on, my life would be different. I knew there were better men in the world. I didn't know if Waylon and I would even work out. But I knew we were friends and we both needed a place to live. So we went and got an apartment together. We got a three bedroom apartment. We figured if he and I didn't work out, I could move in with my daughter in her room, and it wouldn't be a big deal. He agreed. We are both pretty level headed people. So that summer, I filed for divorce. I packed me and my kids lives up and moved into the apartment with Waylon. My kids were in Colorado visiting family and Jared had gone up there too. He was trying to figure things out. He kept thinking there was hope. Boy was he wrong. He came back with the kids. I went to the house and got them. And since then they have not lived with with their dad. After 3 months he got his new girlfriend pregnant. And then married her. They fought. A lot. Broke up. A lot. Got back together. A lot. It was sad. Unstable. Weird. But whatever. His life. He started off taking the kids every week. Then he slowly started backing off. Little by little. Over time it went from every week to every other week to now he takes them for about four hours every other week. That's it. For someone who loves his kids. And misses them. And wants to see them..... He sure never tries to see them... After his third child was born, he took three months off of work. During the summer. He never asked for the kids. He never even took them for extra time. He never even asked. Then another time he took a week off and never asked for them. Then he asked me if he could pick them up and take them for a whole week to the lake. I told him yes. And two days before he was supposed to take them, he canceled. I don't know the circumstances. I don't know anything. But he didn't take them and they were devastated. He stopped asking for time. He didn't take them for a month at a time. It was getting crazy. But the kids love Waylon. He is their dad. He's been here. He's raised them. He takes them to the park. He buys them things. He loves them as if they were his. He's a great man. What's frustrating is that jade is now 8.5 and she is a smart kid. She came home from visiting him this week in tears. She misses him and wants to stay the night at his house. I told him no because it's a school night. As mom, it's my duty to keep them in school. I have to. It's the law. So I sat her down and tried to ask her questions. Me: jade I need you to understand something for me. Jade: what? Me: it isn't me keeping you from your dad. You know that right? Jade:... Me: did he take you last week? Jade: no Me: did he take you the week before? Jade: no. Me: see? It isn't me keeping you from him. He doesn't come and get you. He doesn't ask to visit. He doesn't do anything. So, this isn't me. I'm not telling him no. He has had all sorts of time to spend with you. He has weekends. He has holidays. He has time. He doesn't take it. Do you understand? Jade: Yeah. Then she continued to cry dramatically. I don't think she understood. It's frustrating. I know she will understand one day. But I worry that she will be too much like me and believe his hogwash about hope. He will always make her feel inadequate. Like she doesn't try hard enough. And it will always be her fault. And that worries me tremendously. So I have to constantly try and comfort her. He pretty much ignores Riley, so that won't be so hard. But Riley only likes him sometimes. Mental abuse is still abuse. I'm confident in my decision to leave him and the proof is in the way our lives have gone since. I'm doing great, Waylon and I are fabulous. We have great jobs. We have a stable home environment. We are not crazy broke, but we are not crazy rich either. Jared has struggled. He has been in and out of relationships. He's filed bankruptcy. He owes the irs for back taxes. He's broke. He has a new girlfriend that seems pretty cool. But his life is still weird. I'm so glad I do not have to live like that anymore. I'm glad I ran away from home that day in May.

[underheart-magica2000]

UnderHeart - New Home?

We’re on Chapter six!

(I’m just copying files I already have, but its surprisingly a lot of work)

Chapter is under the cut, (And don’t forgot to have an amazing day Love)

"Annabell dear!" Toriel calls from the other side of the room. "The other monsters need my help. Will you be alright getting home yourself?" She asks walking over with a Moldsmal crawling along on the floor behind her. "You have the phone I gave you?" She asks nervously patting me down as though I magically got injured in the five minutes she's been talking to the Moldsmal. "You remember the puzzles?"

"Yes," I giggle gently pulling her paws off, "I'll be careful Toriel!" I promise, dashing off for the exit before the Goat Monster changes her mind.

I run into the pit switch room, Toriel had simply explained to me that the switch to the spikes was in one of the pit falls, the one in the middle left to be exact. But the spikes where still down from our last trip so no need to get my new comfy clothes unnecessarily dusty.

I start for the exit, pleased with myself in how well I'm adapting to the Underground, freshman math certainly wasn't this easy to understand, but freshman math also didn't cost you your life if you got wrong...

"Did you really think I would give up?" A broken hallow sounding laugh asks as I feel my blood run cold. "Are you really so stupid?" An un-amused voice hisses, as a Buttercup flower appears in the exit-way. "I WILL NEVER STOP!!!" Flowey laughs as the white bullets from before appear around the monster. I fumble for the flip phone Toriel gave me, quickly dialing her number and begging for her to pick up.

"NOT TILL YOUR DEAD FOREVER!!!!" Flowey laughs, as the white bullets fly towards me and my now materialized white soul.

I scream and back up, dropping the ancient phone that confusedly echoes up a 'Hello? Annabell? Child are you okay?' I try to answer back but I trip on something and soon I'm falling backwards, missing the deadly bullets by inches as I fall once again into the ground.

"Thump!"

I look up confused and find that I accidentally tumbled into one the pit falls, unfortunately this isn't the pitfall with the switch for the spikes Flowey is sitting on, that might have been enough to spoke him off.

I stand up quickly not trusting Flowey to stay put and believe me to be dead. I make for the exit planning to hide in the shaft and hope Flowey gives up when I notice I'm not exactly alone.

Laying on the floor in a sad lump is a faded pink ribbon it would have been beautiful once, but now it's dirty and worn. I glance up towards the hole in the ceiling where my only light is coming from, silence and dust rains from above. I take my chances and scoop up the ribbon before running for the exit shaft hoping Flowey is gone.

"Annabell!" Toriel cries wrapping me in a warm fuzzy goat hug. "When I got that call I was so scared," she rambles looking me over for injures as Moldsmal bounces worriedly next to her. "Please don't ever do that again." She begs lightly dusting off my purple cloak and green sweater for me, "Oh Annabell," she whispers in a tight voice wrapping me in a hug, "I thought I-," her voice chokes up and tears start to stain my matching cloak, Moldsmal makes sad blubbering noises and I hug the Goat monster back with all my strength.

"I'm sorry Toriel," I apologize softly, "I'll be more careful next time so I don't fall into any more pitfalls," I chuckle lightly as the goat monster gives me a dirty look.

"You silly child," Toriel scolds, running a paw through my blond hair affectionately with a broad smile, "Run on home and no more accidents alright?"

"Yes Moma!" I laugh, spinning in a wide circle so my cloak flutters around me like a kite.

I take one step before I realize what I said. I turn around in horror, Toriel looks shocked and Moldsmal is doing his best to quietly wiggle away unnoticed.

"I-I didn't," I stutter backing up from the kind goat lady who might not be so kind now that I've crossed a very delicate line. I can feel my soul form on its own in my chest, and Toriel's bile eyes go wide. I clutch my dress front in shame and turn away. "I'm sorry!" I yell over my shoulder as I speed off down the tunnel.

....

"Annabell Dear," Toriel calls through the door as I hide under the fresh, clean, cinnamon smelling blankets. "It's okay child, I'm not mad at you," she tries to coax, but I've heard it all before. Of course she is, they are always mad, always so offended and disturbed that the monster child has gotten attached enough to them to start referring to them as 'mother'.

"I just wanted to know what it was like..." I whisper to myself as a Toriel keeps saying false nice things through the door, "I just wanted a Moma who didn't hate me."

I must have spoken louder then I thought because Toriel stops talking. The door creaks open but I stay under my blankets, I know the blankets can't actually help me but it's the thought that counts right?

"Annabell," Toriel whispers and I can tell she's standing next to the bed. I whimper and try to make myself smaller, hoping she'll go away, hoping my brother will magically appear and save the day like always. "Dear sweet child," Toriel states in a broken voice siting at the edge of the bed. "I promised to never hurt you and I meant it dearie. I will never hurt you."

I stiffen at that, my Moma has said things like that before and she had definitely hurt me, but Moma had never sounded so sincere about it like Toriel...

I shuffle around in my blankets, so I can see the goat lady next to me. I blink up at her as she smiles down at me with tears eyes.

"I'm sorry for whatever you had to go through up on the surface," she mumbles, reaching down and petting my blanket covered shoulder. "No one should go through that, but you are with us now," she says with a bright smile gesturing around the dark room, "And the monsters of the Ruins will never harm you."

I wiggle in my blankets so I'm sitting up, and give Toriel a look, "Flower," is all I say, before I flop back onto the bed.

"Well minus Flowey...," Toriel mutters a distant look in her wide blue eyes, "but I'm sure eventually he'll be taken care one way or another." She growls, whips of fire licking at her fur.

I pull back in alarm and fall of the bed staring up at a Toriel in fear. She blushes and quickly puts out the fire light and looks down at me sheepishly.

"Sorry child," she apologizes, "magic is controlled by emotion so sometimes when feeling very negative feelings it just comes out," she explains with a half hearted chuckle.

I nod but don't answer back, not sure what to make of the kind goat lady with magic fire. Toriel looks me over from her perch on the twin sized bed, she smiles down at me like she knows something I don't. I pull my blankets a little tighter around myself as Toriel lifts up one of her paws and summons a floating white soul.

I stare in amusement, not sure how to comprehend what I'm seeing. I thought I was the only one with a white soul. So the old stories about monsters having white souls was true?

"You are a monster born in a human body my dear child," Toriel says sadly vanishing her soul. "Every monster of the Underground possesses a white soul just like yours."

Tears fill my eyes and I'm not sure why hearing that I'm not the only one causes my chest to hurt so much but it does. I can see my own white soul floating before me as I cry into my hands, balled up on the floor in a nest of blankets. Everything just feels to much. Waylon could be dead, I've finally meet someone who likes me honestly likes me, and I'm not the only one with a 'cursed' soul.

"Let it all out Annabell dear," Toriel soothes paring my back gently, as I brake apart. "After this we will have pie by the fire and I will read you the Great stories of monster kind till you're sound asleep."

It sounds like a wonderful plan, so I do my best to wipe messy face. Toriel takes my hands before I can do much though and instead she uses the edge of her pretty light purple dress to clean my face. It takes her a minute and when she's done she smiles at me, a big toothy smile that covers her whole snout.

"Well!" Toriel sings hoping up, "lets get you some dinner shall we?" She asks offering me a paw.

I take it and I'm pulled into the living room where for the rest of the night I'm made to feel at home, like I do have a Moma who cares, in a warm house in a nice neighborhood with welcoming people(monsters), but the tiny scrap of leather on my wrist feels heavier with every passing smile.

...................................................

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