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dans-den · 2 years ago

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My Top 5 Worst Movies of 2022

What's going on everyone, it's Dan here and today I'll be going over my Top 5 worst movies of 2022. I didn't want to go with easy one's like secrets of Dumbledore or Jurassic world: Dominion, I wanted to dig deeper and find movies that slipped under the radar or people haven't heard much about and review those.

I've said it twice and I'll say it again, these are my opinions and all of this is subjective. You may agree or disagree with me and that's fine. With that said, lets begin

Number 5 is Black Panther: Wakanda Forever from Marvel/Disney (6/10)

Right off the bat, I'm making a lot of enemies with putting this movie at number 5. Now keep in mind, this movie had to be rewritten due to the passing of Chadwick Boseman so what we got wasn't the original vision but rather salvaging what they could. I already gave my complicated feelings on a review for it last month and while I gave it a 6/10, I personally did not like this movie. It's okay for what we ended up getting, but I still felt they could have pushed this back and taken more time with it rather than salvaging what they could to make a movie. The first half almost put me to sleep and the second half is where it started picking up the slack. The end credit scene was nice but unlike the old post credit scenes from previous Marvel movies before Endgame, it won't lead to the next film but rather give us a hint at what's to come. Who knows when that plan or if it will ever happen. Overall, I'm glad they gave homage to the late Chadwick Boseman, but as a movie itself, its nothing too special. Shuri is a great Black Panther and I loved her personal journey, but other than that the movie is just lackluster.

Number 4 goes to Lightyear from Pixar/Disney (5.5/10)

Now this was a movie that had plenty of potential to be a great movie based on a beloved character from Toy Story, but it was a mess to infinity and beyond anything I could have imagined. The tone is off, its different from the happy go star commander were all use to seeing. Here it's a more serious and dark tone where Buzz normally gives off this upbeat and somewhat campy space ranger tone like with Duck Dodgers or the Jetsons or even Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, I was hoping that's what this movie would be like. The tone just doesn't fit, in fact this doesn't seem like a Buzz Lightyear movie. It feels more like a generic space commander movie with Buzz slapped on it for marketing. I also wanna address the "controversial" same sex kiss scene...it was a literal peck, not like they full on frenched each other so I don't see how that could have ruined the movie. The movie suffered due to its time travel plot being ridiculous and its tone being more serious than it should have. Feels like this was meant to be a sci-fi horror film rather than a Disney film with a Toy Story character. I admire that they're trying something new, but this is not the way to go about it. Plus the twist with Zurg? Like why? As I said, this movie had potential, but it was just not steered in the proper direction and it suffered for not staying faithful to the character of Buzz Lightyear.

Number 3 will be going to THE....MOVIE OF ALL TIME! Morbius from Marvel/Sony (5/10)

It's Morbin' Time! I know I complained about Lightyears plot but at least that had a plot. The plot for this movie was near nonexistent! This movie is something else, Jared Leto once again showing that superhero movies are not his best attribute less we remember his....memorable role as the Joker from Suicide Squad (2016) and the Snyder Cut of Justice League (he did way better there than in Suicide Squad). I already gave my thoughts on the movie back in April and while I did give it a 5/10 initially, I feel that the score needs to be brought down to like a 4 or a 3.5 because this movie is just a complete MEME! So much so that Sony saw the meme attention it was getting and had the Megamind idea to rerelease the film again thinking it would do better this time around....but it actually flopped AGAIN! This is the first film to have a box office flop twice! That is an accomplishment in it of itself! While I don't think its a great superhero movie, it's definitely a so bad its good superhero movie, to me this is more of a guilty pleasure movie that you just watch to have a good laugh with some mindless action thrown in. This definitely holds a special place in my catalog of memorable movies and superhero movies, This is a rare distinction on this list so Morbius I tip my hat to you for being everyones....movie of all time!

Number 2 goes to the direct to streaming Halloween movie Hocus Pocus 2 from Disney/Disney Plus (3/10)

Now this is one of those movies I felt did not need to happen, but since it's Halloween it's time to see what beloved Halloween classics need to be given a sequel for next generation. A sequel that adds nothing but just trying to be hip and with it. I tried to avoid watching this movie but I just couldn't get away from it. My sisters house, My job, even my own house I was doomed to watch and finish this movie. I watched it on several occasions to finish and it was worse than I thought. First off, the original Hocus Pocus was dark, there is no denying that these witches were unapologetically evil draining the youth from children (killing them in the process), turning kids into cats, bringing back the dead and trying to kill more children. The opening even shows them witches being hung, they even showed that in this sequel. Speaking of the sequel, it's just generic Halloween kids movie with the Hocus Pocus named slapped on. This movie tries to give us backstory on the Sanderson sisters which I'll admit is nice but it also tries to make them more sympathetic and seem like they're the real victims. I understand they grew up in Salem during a time when Women had no say in anything and witch hunts happened on the daily, but it doesn't work when we've established that they're ruthless in the original. But here, they act like grandma's where technology is foreign to them and they've become sillier rather than major threats and how in the end, they rest in peace thanks to the power of friendship. It doesn't make any sense, especially when they were destroyed in the previous film, they get brought back again from a candle almost thirty years later? It doesn't make sense and it just seems lazy. I don't think they needed to be made sympathetic, they should have been just as ruthless and threatening as they were in the original movie. I enjoy villain's who are unapologetically evil just as much as I enjoy the one's you can sympathize with. They should have been kept Unapologetically evil from the start. Also the main heroes (if you can call them that even though they brought back the Sanderson sisters to begin with) are generic as can be, I don't remember any of their names. The only part I enjoyed from this movie was when Mary Sanderson used Roombas as broom sticks to fly, that actually got a laugh out of me and that Hannah Waddingham makes a hot witch lady ngl. Other than that, this movie had no reason to exist. It was nice seeing the OG actresses reprise their roles, but this was still shameless nostalgic bait to gain more subscribers for Disney Plus.

After all I said, I'm sure you're asking yourself "what could possibly be worse than Hocus Pocus 2?! I thought for sure this would be the worst movie!" but you be wrong my friends, the worst movie of 2022 is....

Number 1 goes to The Munsters (2022) from Rob Zombie (1/10)

With everything I've said about these films, I can at least watch them in their entirety even If I gotta do it in short bursts, but this film was so bad I had to stop it halfway through and leave my own room just to reflect on the decisions I've made leading up to that. I was not able to finish this movie and I don't plan to finish watching this abomination. This movie has been distributed to DVD, Amazon Prime and Netflix (which is where I watched it). My god, I respect Rob Zombies work not only in film but his music as well I actually enjoy his music especially Dragula, that's a personal favorite of mine. I've enjoyed his other films like the Zombie Horror Picture Show, 3 from Hell and Lords of Salem, but something went wrong here. I also want to point out I am a fan of The Munsters, I watched the classic tv show as a kid and even now I still enjoy that along with other 60's classics such as The Addams Family and the 1960's Batman TV show. But this film is far from its source material. It get's almost nothing right except the bare minimum. It doesn't feel like The Munsters it feels like a parody of The Munsters if that. It's just impressions and costumes mixed with cheesy rock and roll elements slapped on it. The jokes and Puns feel so forced and the setting is just horror meets old time rock and roll. I guess it's an origin story on how Herman and Lily met but their characters in the film don't match up who they are, it doesn't seem like The Munsters at all. It's set to be in the 1400's but treats it like the 1970's or 1980's and it doesn't really seem funny at all it just looks bizarre. I have no idea what they were thinking taking this 1960's classic and turning it into this cheesy origin love story. The origin story could possibly work, but I think Rob Zombie was the worst choice to do it considering his main works. When I first heard The Munsters were getting a movie this year and that it would be done up by Rob Zombie, I was excited. Unfortunately, the movie did not deliver on anything. It was clever, it wasn't funny and I don't even think cringe is the best way to describe this, it's just unbearable and I will never go back to finishing that film unless I was obligated to or if I get lucky with a lady if I watch it, that's it. It's a shame this happened to a beloved property I grew up watching, this makes The Munster's movies from the 90's look better by comparison and that's why I believe The Munsters (2022) is the worst movie of 2022.

Let's see how many enemies I make today, I'll post my Top 5 best movies tomorrow and should wrap up the year for me.

See ya!

#dans den #top 5 list #worst movies #2022 #reviews #black panther wakanda forever #lightyear #morbius #hocus pocus 2 #the munsters 2022

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bigballofstress · 6 years ago

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Letters (Jon Snow x Reader)

To @janeschwartz1 and @msclifford, here’s the second part to New Friends! I hope you like it!

Description: The letters you share with Jon are slowly getting more familiar until you are forced to stop. Years pass with nothing, and Jon is starting to lose hope, until finally a new letter arrives.

To Jon Snow,

I have finally arrived at King’s Landing. The journey was uneventful for the most part. I am sure you must have heard about what happened to Sansa’s direwolf. I truly wish it didn’t have to happen, but my mother is not one to let such things go easily.

I know my uncle, Tyrion, traveled north with you, saying something about seeing the edge of the world. I understand he can be a bit trying at times, but he truly is a kind person. Please be patient with him. How is your new life in the Night’s Watch? Please write soon, it’s awfully boring in King’s Landing.

Signed,

(Y/N) Baratheon

—

Jon thought for a moment, quill in hand as he stared at the piece of parchment before him. He had to remember what he was taught. He must use his manners, even if it felt like he was talking to an old friend.

—

To the crown princess (Y/N) Baratheon,

The Night’s Watch wasn’t what I was expecting. In truth, your uncle was the only one to tell me what it really was. The men here have no honor. They hate me simply because I am better than them.

You uncle seems to be enjoying his stay. He sits with the Lord Commander at dinners and is given plenty of furs to keep warm, though he is always saying how cold it is. Are my sisters alright? Arya has some trouble with being a lady, and I’m worried about how she will fare in the South.

Signed,

Jon Snow

To Jon Snow,

Sansa has taken quite well to life in the south. She acts almost as if she were born to be here. Arya sometimes has trouble with her duties as a Lady, but she raves about her new dancing instructor. She’s asked me to tell you she is even more skilled with her needle than Sansa is with her own. Hopefully, you can make more sense of that than I.

Please remember that, while it may not seem so, you grew up with far more luxury than many of the boys you are living with. Perhaps try to help them, and they will begin to see things your way.

Your father is to have a tournament in his honor soon. The entire city is talking about it. My uncle, Jaime, is favored to win, but I’ve heard whispers of a new knight named Ser Loras Tyrell. What do you think will happen?

Signed,

(Y/N) Baratheon

P.S. I’ve already told you, I’m not very inclined to my title. Please just call my (F/N).

—

Jon smiled. Of course you would yell at him. He could just imagine you scoffing to yourself as your read his first sentence, rolling your eyes and reaching for your quill in defiance. He frowned to himself. He wanted to impress you somehow, but with what?

“Jon, hand me one of those pieces of parchment,” Sam called. Jon smiled. That was perfect.

—

To (Y/N) Baratheon,

You were right. The men in here with had never even picked up a sword. Once I started to help them learn a bit more, they started talking with me. A new man has arrived just recently. His name is Samwell Tarly. A man named Rast was told to attack him, but I stopped it. Ser Allister Thorne, the man training me, is very angry at me. Rast wanted to keep hurting Sam, but we made things very clear with the help of Ghost. No one will be attacking him any time soon. That made Thorne even more angry, but I’m hoping it’ll pass.

Please tell Arya that no matter what her dancing instructor told her, I’m the one who taught her the first rule of how to use her Needle. I have heard the rumors you speak of, but I doubt anyone could unhorse the Kingslayer in his own city. Do tell me how the tournament went. If I know my father, he’s working himself too hard as the King’s Hand. If he is, please tell him to take a break. How is your family? Is Joffrey treating Sansa well?

Signed,

Jon Snow

To Jon,

I’m so sorry. You must know by now that my uncle has been taken prisoner by the Lady Stark. She claims he had something to do with your poor brother’s predicament. When my uncle Jaime confronted your father with the news, Lord Stark took credit for everything. My uncle was outraged, and they got into a fight. One of the guards stabbed your father’s leg with a spear and they left him there. He is alive, and the Maester has hope, but he looks awful.

Please, if you hold any sway with Lady Stark, ask her to release my uncle. Tyrion loves children, and he likes Bran. I know he would never hurt him.

Yours truly,

(Y/N) Baratheon

—

Jon inhaled sharply. He had no doubt what you were saying was true, and he’d met Tyrion before. He wished he could help you, but Catelyn hated him with every fiber of her being. She would never listen to what he had to say, whether it was true or not. Still, he was determined to offer you some comfort.

—

To (Y/N) Baratheon,

I’m sorry, but I hold no favor with Lady Catelyn. She would never do something simply because I asked it of her, and I fear she might even react violently to any suggestion. But fear not. Lady Catelyn is rather vindictive, but she is not stupid. She understands that killing Tyrion could be very dangerous for her family.

I have some good news, bad news, and disappointing news. My uncle’s horse arrived alone at the gates recently. I’m worried he might have died beyond the wall. I am an official man of the Night’s Watch now, but I’ve been appointed the steward of the Lord Commander, Jeor Mormont. Sam says he’s grooming me, but I’d still rather be a ranger, like my uncle. Please give me some advice. Your council is always comforting and wise.

Yours truly,

Jon Snow

To Jon Snow of the Night’s Watch,

I regret to inform you that I am no longer to write to you. Your father and half-brother are traitors to the crown and my beloved brother, King Joffrey Baratheon, first of his name. Your sister has declared her loyalty to her betrothed, and is thus the only loyal Stark left. Arya has escaped fled the Keep, your father has declared complete blasphemy, claiming my brother is not the true heir to the throne, and your brother now marches towards the capital. I’m sorry, Jon. Good luck on the Wall.

Love Signed,

(Y/N) Baratheon, first of her name, crown Princess of Westeros.

—

Jon frowned and reread the letter. It didn’t sound like you. It sounded too forced. You’d never used your title before.

He knew he should be concerned with the content of the letter. The thought of his father in the dungeons and his brother marching on the south terrified him, but the idea that you might be in trouble almost made him sick to his stomach.

Quickly he’d made up his mind. He saddled his horse and fled Castle Black. He didn’t get very far before Sam, Pip, and Grenn stopped him.

“Jon, you can’t leave. You’ll be killed as a deserter!” Sam said.

“It’s my family, Sam,” Jon lied. He knew in his heart that he was riding to King’s Landing. He needed to make sure you were safe. “I can’t just ignore what’s happening.”

“We’re your family now,” Sam insisted. “We’re your brothers.”

“I’m not going back, Sam,” Jon warned. He started to move again.

“Night gathers, and so my watch begins!” Pip moved forward to cut him off again. “It shall not end until my death. I shall live and die by my post.”

Grenn quickly picked up the oath. “I am the sword in the darkness.”

“The watcher on the Wall,” Sam continued.

Then, all three spoke at once, repeating the oath they had memorized like the back of their hands. “I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.”

Jon grit his teeth together. He knew what you would say. You’d say he made a commitment and he had to honor it. Sam handed him Longclaw, meeting his eyes and almost begging him not to go. Jon nodded slightly and went with his brothers back to Castle Black.

(Suuuuuper long time skip)

Years passed, and it never got any easier for Jon. Thoughts of you plagued him day and night. He’d received letters speaking of your betrayal of the royal family. According to Cersei’s propaganda, you helped to aid the fugitive, Sansa, after she killed your brother. It was a slight comfort to him that you were with his sister, but he would still rather have you here, in his arms.

Then the letter arrived.

Dearest Jon,

It has been far too long since we last exchanged letters, and for that I am truly sorry. I was forbidden from sending anything to you, and all of my ravens were monitored on a constant basis. Now, I am asking for your help.

Your sister, Sansa, has become a dear friend of mine, and I fear she is in far greater danger than she realizes. I do not trust the man she is with any more than I would trust a lion. Now she is to marry Ramsay Bolton, the bastard who was newly made a lord. I’ve heard rumors of Ramsay’s cruelty, and the fact that his father betrayed his honor and your family makes me even more wary of him. What I’m asking, Jon, is to know that, should we need it, we could be safe in Castle Black. I know I have no right to ask such things after all this time, but I need your help, now more than ever.

Forever yours,

(Y/N) Baratheon

—

Before he’d even had a chance to think, Jon had already picked up a Quill and piece of parchment.

—

Dear (Y/N),

You are always welcome in Castle Black, as well as my sister. I do not care how much time has passed, all that matters to me now is that you are safe. Be careful around Ramsay. I’ve heard similar things that you have, and he is not one to be taken lightly. I hope to see you soon.

Yours truly,

Jon Snow

Weeks passed without a reply, and Jon found himself constantly pacing back and forth, hoping for your arrival.

He was no longer obligated to stay on the Night’s Watch - he’d done his duty and given his life. He was finally free to tell you how he felt. If only you were here.

There was a commotion down in the square, men murmuring amongst themselves. Jon looked down to meet your eyes. You had grown a lot. You’d been beaten and worn and thrown around like you were nothing. Yet still, you had a fire in your eyes.

You were just as he pictured those many nights standing guard on the Wall. Your beautiful (H/C) hair cascading down in waves, those same pools of (E/C) gazing into his very core. Tears clouded your eyes, and Jon couldn’t take it anymore. He ran down into the middle of the square, taking you into his arms in a warm embrace. You were dirty and sweaty and a bit bloody, but he couldn’t imagine letting you go.

After a very long embrace, the two of you parted. Jon held your face gently in his hands, studying every detail like it was the last he’d ever see you.

“Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, eh?” You smiled weakly. “You’ve done quite well for yourself, haven’t you?”

Jon shook his head. “I no longer have any obligations or ties to the Night’s Watch. I’ve done my duty, and I’m free to leave.”

You were silent a moment, staring into his eyes in shock. Finally, you uttered three words. “Thank the gods.” You crashed your lips into his in what must have been the most passionate kiss in history. Everything the two of you had been through went into that kiss, from the moment you met, to when you lost all hope of seeing one another again, to finally reuniting after years apart. You loved each other, more than anything else in the world, and through this kiss, you both knew it. Jon made up his mind the second your lips touched. He would never leave you again, for this night and all the nights to come.

#jon snow reader insert #jon snow x reader #jon snow #got x reader #game of thrones x reader #got imagine #game of thrones reader insert #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones

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nintendroid · 6 years ago

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Returning to the first ever convention we had the pleasure of covering, Nintendroid went back to the Lexington Comic and Toy Convention in Lexington Kentucky! A sequel that doesn’t disappoint!

When we got the go-ahead to cover LCTC, I was questioning if we could even make the trip. Sure it’s only a three hour trek, but the difference this time around is my new eight-month-old baby, and a wonderful job I’m very grateful for, but demands six days of my week. After some compromises, my wife being the trooper she is decided to stay home with baby droid. That left me going alone for the first time to cover the event by myself.

The drive on top of the early wake-up, working the previous day and dealing with my responsibilities as a dad had me beat by the time I made it to the doorstep of the Lexington Arena by eleven o’clock that Sunday morning. As worn out as I felt, was I going to be in the mood to even walk around this massive convention and enjoy myself?

Entering the building, it was like a jolt of electricity. The energy of the crowd, coupled with the pandemonium of activity covering every square inch of the entire building gave me the much-needed boost of adrenaline I needed. Even though I had missed the year prior, I felt so at home.

To LCTC’s credit, they’ve grown and boy do I mean grown. When I covered the event back in 2017, It mostly covered the bottom floor of the building. Now it was all three floors and the massive and historical Rupp Arena! It was big then, but it’s even bigger now and the crowd seemed to have tripled. Seeing the sell-out announcements, I was worried I was even going to make it into the place.

I didn’t get to cover everything I wanted to, because it just would’ve been impossible with the mass of activities and events all going on at one time. So what I’m going to do here is pick out some of my favorite little things I encountered while at LCTC 2019...

1. Imported Video Games!

Convention vendor spaces are my favorite. It’s like a geeky flea market you just want to walk around for hours. Being the pack-rat that I am, it’s always the height of any convention for me. What made this experience special was that it was the first time I ever seen vendors bringing foreign gaming consoles and games to sell! And to my relief, the prices were for the most part reasonable and not ridiculous.

This moment led to me purchasing my first ever Japanese import and I’m proud to say that I now own the Japanese version of Donkey Kong Jungle Beat with the bongo accessory for Gamecube! This gem only set me back forty bones, so needless to say we we’re off to an amazing start.

2. Mark Paul Gosselaar Q & A!

Being that I grew up in the 90s, I was a fan of Saved By The Bell. I was more of a closet fan, but nowadays my enjoyment of the show is loud and proud. I don’t follow the career of “Zack Morris” outside of the ‘Bell, but I thought it would be fun to hear what the dude was up to and if he ever married Kelly (Spoiler: he didn’t)

To my surprise, dude has a lot of fans of his more recent television works like Franklin and Bash. I was happy for the guy, because teen idols seem to get stuck in the time that they’re perceived to have peaked, and I’m glad to see he got away from that. Some interesting notes from the Q & A: His son dyed his hair blonde and said “look dad I’m you huh huh huh. He’s open to a reunion but no one has ever presented him with any material. He wants to get the cast together to read fan scripts at conventions. He still talks to the cast often. He also laughed at the caffeine addiction episode as most of us did. Thank me later, Saved By The Bell fans.

3. The Celebrity Signing Area!

As mentioned several times, LCTC has grown. The celebrities all do signings now in the Rupp Arena. I’m not an autograph hound because of my painful awkwardness but I appreciate it for other people. I went to get some pictures of the arena from the stands and found myself just enjoying the sites of all the celebrities interacting with the crowd. Seeing pro wrestling legend Sting sitting next to Meridith from The Office is something I could only think of in my wildest dreams.

Speaking of the guests, holy jeez did LCTC bring it this year. Half of The Office cast, Spongebob himself Tom Kenny (who had by far the biggest line there), a slew of Power Rangers, friggin’ Val Kilmer. That’s just a few names, trust me when I say it was pretty staggering how much talent was in that room.

4. This Bootleg Mega Man Doll!

This might seem out of place but I’m a sucker for bootleg toys for whatever reason, so imagine my joy and laughter when I came across this Mega Man. Where did it come from? Who made it? Why the hell is it fifteen dollars? I debated buying it, but at the end of the day I couldn’t justify purchasing it. I have the memory and that’s what matters. Serious though, how great/awful is this thing. Dr Light is rolling in his grave seeing his beloved creation bastardized like this. Definitely the work of Wily.

5. These Pikachus!

Hats off to these two cosplayers. I don’t even think they knew one another, but because they were both Pikachus, they hung out and danced at the doors for a long time. They should’ve had a seat in the arena with the celebrities, because everyone and their mom was taking pictures with them. More than any other cosplayer in the place, these dudes were the stars of the show. If I was these two, I’d take this act on the road. Imagine the money to be made at birthday parties and get togethers. One Pikachu is cool, but two puts it over the top.

At the end of the day, I was exhausted but so happy I got to experience the LCTC all over again. If you’re a seasoned convention goer, or looking to attend your first one, I recommend LCTC highly. It’s well staffed, well planned and well organized and you’ll have an awesome time taking in all the sights and enjoying everything offered here. I want to thank the people behind the scenes for having us back this year. This event will always hold a special place in my heart and I’m excited to see how it continues to grow throughout the years.

#lexington comic and toy convention #pokemon #pikachu #saved by the bell #nintendo #retro gaming #nintendroid

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entergamingxp · 5 years ago

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New Pokemon Snap Gives Me Hope for More Dormant Pokemon Spin-Offs

June 19, 2020 5:00 PM EST

With New Pokemon Snap, there are more possibilities for old Pokemon titles to gain new life after being dead in the water for so many years.

This week The Pokemon Company announced New Pokemon Snap, the long-awaited sequel to the 1999 original on the Nintendo 64. Having a second entry in the franchise was arguably the most wanted request from the Pokemon community for years, especially during the time of the Wii U where players could have used the Wii U Gamepad as the camera; quite a missed opportunity if I do say so myself.

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Nevertheless, with this announcement fans (like myself) have been clamoring for the revival of many other Pokemon spin-offs which may now actually see the light of day. Just like Pokemon Snap, there are many other Pokemon titles that deserve a second chance, including the ones you’ll find below.

Pokemon Pinball

The Pokemon Pinball series is my most beloved Pokemon spin-off. It is in my opinion the definitive version of pinball as we know it. When playing pinball, the objective is relatively simple–get the highest score–but there isn’t much more motivation than that. In Pokemon Pinball, however, you have a more engaging objective: catch all the Pokemon. The first entry of the series released on Game Boy Color in 1999, the same year as Pokemon Snap. Based on the Kanto region of Pokemon Red & Blue, the player’s objective was to catch the original 151 Pokemon. The Pokemon that you could catch would depend on which table you are playing on (Red or Blue) and which location you were at in Kanto, starting from Pallet Town all the way to the Indigo Plateau.

A followup to the original came out in 2003 called Pokemon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire, which had a similar structure by allowing you to catch the entire Hoenn Pokedex along with Aerodactyl and the Johto starters Totodile, Cyndaquil, and Chikorita. With currently almost 900 Pokemon in existence, now would be more than an opportune time to have a new entry in the series.

Pokemon Stadium

Similarly to Pokemon Snap, Pokemon Stadium is one of the more beloved Pokemon side series that only got two games before never being seen again. Both games released on the Nintendo 64, but the original Stadium was the most beloved of the two. While it had its own single-player mode where you battled the gym leaders of Kanto, it also had a ton of addictive multiplayer mini-games, like eating different food as Lickitung or copying Clefairy’s directions in the classroom.

Stadium indirectly became the best party game on the N64 (sorry Mario Party and Mario Kart). The sequel, however, just didn’t seem to have as huge of a pull as the first one and sold less than half the units the original did, despite still being a great follow-up. The closest thing to a third title was Pokemon: Battle Revolution, but it was mainly just used for battling trainers with your Diamond, Pearl, or Platinum team in 3D. It would be so great seeing a traditional new game in the Stadium lineup.

Pokemon Conquest

Pokemon Conquest was the franchise’s attempt at creating a tactical-RPG title in its universe. Despite that, it didn’t really grab the attention of Western players due to its strategic nature, to the point where not even the charm of Pokemon could sell it for everyone.

However, after the major success of Fire Emblem: Awakening and even more recently Fire Emblem: Three Houses, I feel like players are more open to the idea now that if a Conquest 2 were to ever come out, that it would do much better than its predecessor. Realistically though, I doubt it will ever come to fruition.

Pokemon Colosseum/XD: Gale of Darkness

Image Credit: GameSpot

Back on the GameCube, The Pokemon Company released the first two 3D Pokemon adventures in Colosseum and XD: Gale of Darkness. Taking place in the Orre Region, Colosseum follows a trainer named Wes (or whatever you decide to call him) who is trying to stop an organization named Team Cipher who are using “Shadow Pokemon.” These Pokemon are identified by Rui, a girl who joins Wes on his adventure where he can “snag” these Pokemon from trainers. After using them in battle, the creatures can be purified which returns them to their natural state.

XD: Gale of Darkness is technically a sequel where you play as a new trainer named Michael, who uses a newly created “Snag Machine” that allows him to identify the Shadow Pokemon. A cool feature about these games as well is that your Pokemon could be transferred to Pokemon Ruby or Sapphire. This series of games was such a breath of fresh air that once Nintendo released the Switch, I thought that we would finally get a new Pokemon adventure that isn’t of the mainline or Let’s Go series. I doubt at this point that if there was a new title that it would be a continuation of Colosseum and XD: Gale of Darkness, but I would love a new addition that is similar.

Of course, there are plenty of other known spin-off games that I’m sure that Pokemon fans would love a new game for like Pokemon Puzzle League, Ranger, and Trading Card Game just to name a few, but I feel like the titles I talked about throughout are more popular and beloved than others by fans. There is so much opportunity for The Pokemon Company to bring these different series back from the dead. I hope that we see them do so sometime soon.

June 19, 2020 5:00 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/06/new-pokemon-snap-gives-me-hope-for-more-dormant-pokemon-spin-offs/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=new-pokemon-snap-gives-me-hope-for-more-dormant-pokemon-spin-offs

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leahdarkspear · 8 years ago

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The Weight

A short story about the burden of leadership - and how sometimes Leah doesn’t handle it well. I just want to clarify that the exchange between Leah and the goblin is a product of my own mind and not something that happened in-game. I have had nothing but respectful encounters so far during my RP sessions!

A gentle snow fell outside Trueshot Lodge. It was early evening, and the lodge was quieter than usual. Though a few hunters milled about, most members of the Hidden Path had been deployed to the Broken Shore to aid the Legionfall objective. Leah leaned over a planning table filled with charts and maps. Tactician Tinderfell, a tall, comely blood elf, stood by Leah holding several missives in her hand.

“Ma’am, I have Hemet Nessingwary and Addie Fizzlebog down for the mission in Suramar,” the tactician stated.

Leah shook her head. “Uh, I t’ink we best give Nessingwary a different partner. Addie be a good little hunter, but Hemet doesn’t give her enough credit.”

Tinderfell nodded. “Who do you suggest then, ma’am?”

Leah scratched her chin briefly. “Pair up Nessingwary wit’ Huntsman Blake. Addie an Emmarel Shadewarden’ll be makin’ a good team,” she said as she eyed the door to the lodge, where a lone blood elf shifted his weight back and forth while sporting a bored expression. “Oh, an’ why don’t we see if we can find Ranger-General Brightwing a mission? He be lookin’ like he needs somethin’ ta do besides standin’ ‘round an’ lookin’ pretty.”

The tactician stifled a giggle. “Very good, Commander.”

Heavy footsteps broke the relative silence of the lodge. Leah turned to see a young orc wearing Horde colors quickly approaching and bearing what looked like several letters. He saluted smartly. “News from the Broken Shore, Commander!” he proclaimed loudly.

Leah straightened up and returned the salute. “At ease, soldier. Just a moment, we be almost done here. Right, Tactician?”

Tinderfell nodded. “Yes, Commander, there’s just one more thing. The druids of Val’sharah are requesting our aid again.”

Leah rubbed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “Alright, I’ll head dere first t’ing in de mornin’. But if dey be wantin’ us ta round up more squirrels, den I swear ta Vol’jin…”

Leah let her threat trail off. She inhaled a steadying breath and shook her head. “Nevahmind. I’ll send word if I be needin’ reinforcements.”

“Very good, ma’am,” the tactician replied. “I will send our response via eagle right away.”

Leah nodded and then turned to the grunt who’d been waiting patiently to deliver his message. “Now,” she asked. “What’s de word?”

The soldier shifted uncomfortably for a moment. Leah raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips. The orc cleared his throat. “The pathfinders you dispatched have been killed in action. I’m sorry, Commander.”

Leah’s face fell. She felt unsteady and turned to place her hands on the planning table for support. “What?! How? It was s’posed ta be a simple recon mission. What happened?”

“We sent scouts to investigate,” the young grunt replied. “They believe your pathfinders were ambushed. Unfortunately, we were unable to recover their bodies.”

Leah clutched her chest. Unable to recover their bodies. She knew that most likely meant the Legion had taken them alive to use their souls as fuel. She found herself wishing they had simply perished; Leah could scarcely imagine a worse fate than to be captured and tortured by the Legion. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. “I t’ought dey were ready,” she said softly as she shook her head. Regaining her composure, she turned back the orc.“I’ll write to dey families.”

“What will you say, Commander?” the soldier asked.

“What else? Dat dey died wit’ honor fightin’ de Legion. Dat dey be heroes o’ de Horde.”

The orc nodded, seemingly pleased with that answer. He was young and no doubt grew up with stories of glorious battle, strong and valorous heroes, and noble sacrifices. Leah on the other hand had seen enough of war to know that dead was dead, and when they lay slain on the battlefield, it was awfully difficult to tell the cowardly from the courageous.

Leah noticed the orc seemed determined to linger. “Ya got anyt’ing else for me, son?” she inquired.

The grunt’s eyes went wide with recollection. “Oh, uh, yes, Commander,” he replied as he handed Leah a parchment bearing the Warchief’s seal. “The Alliance has taken control of several Wardens’ towers around the Isles. Warchief Sylvanas would like to see their forces pushed back.”

Leah bristled. Warchief Sylvanas. Even now it hit her ears wrong. On that fateful day when Vol’jin used his dying breath to name her his successor, Leah had been shocked but optimistic. The Dark Lady was a competent general, so Leah placed her faith in Vol’jin and the Loa that the right choice had been made. But what had Sylvanas done since then? So far as Leah knew, the Banshee Queen had only renewed the age-old conflict between Gilneas and the former Kingdom of Lordaeron. With the Legion bearing down on their doorstep, this seemed to Leah a grievous waste of time and precious resources. The hunter was not about to say the Loa or her beloved Vol’jin had been wrong, but what the end-game would be under Sylvanas’s leadership she couldn’t even begin to say.

A wry smile crossed the troll’s lips. “Killing Alliance. It almost be quaint.”

The soldier looked puzzled. Leah waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t be mindin’ me, soldier. Lessee dat map you got.”

The young grunt unfurled a map of the Broken Isles. Several red X’s marked Warden’s towers occupied by Alliance forces. Were Leah the type to bet, she’d lay money on them all being held by Greymane’s soldiers. She tapped a claw on an X just north of Black Rook Hold in Val’sharah.

“Here,” she pointed. “I’ll gather some soldiers an’ retake dis tower. I gotta travel ta Val’sharah anyway. Tell de Dark Lady dat she can expect my report de moment we be successful.”

“Yes, Commander.”

“Now, dat be all, soldier? I gotta mountain o’ field reports ta write up.”

“That’s all, Commander. I’ll leave you to your work.” The orc stood up tall and rendered a crisp salute. “For the Horde!”

Leah saluted in kind. “For de Horde.”

The hunter turned back to the table, taking up some blank parchment and a quill. It was time to get this unpleasant business of writing letters to the fallen’s next of kin out of the way. She strode to the bar at the other end of the lodge; there were stools there, so she could sit as she wrote.

Tomro slid Leah a mug of Cobo Cola as she took her place at the bar. “T’anks, mon,” Leah mumbled, giving him a half-hearted smile. Normally, the troll would have been more appreciative; the bartender was fantastic at his job. Tomro knew Leah didn’t drink while on duty, and he also had her favorite non-alcoholic beverage memorized. Leah had never seen him fight, but like many pandaren, this was how he chose to contribute – by keeping mugs filled and morale high. Tonight however, Leah didn’t even touch her mug.

The hunter sat staring at the blank parchment, unsure of what to say. It wasn’t first time she’d had to write something like this, and surely it wouldn’t be the last, but still Leah struggled with it. This was by far the worst part of being a commander, and part of the reason Leah had never felt quite suited to a leadership role. Didn’t a leader always have the right words for every occasion? Vol’jin had been able to lift her spirits with simple congratulations. Thrall had always been given to inspiring speeches full of wisdom. Even Garrosh had his moments of brilliance - how else had he convinced so many to go along with his devious plans? Sylvanas with her banshee voice had rallied the entire Horde at Vol’jin’s funeral. But now, here, where it mattered most, Leah was stricken dumb. A small eternity passed before she finally picked up the pen.

It is my most sincere regret to inform you –

Leah hastily crossed out the words.

It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you -

Leah growled in frustration as she crumpled up the parchment and tossed it in the corner. She suddenly felt as if she were carrying a rucksack full of boulders. The weight of this responsibility seemed unbearable. The hunter grasped handfuls of her hair with both hands as she buried her face in her elbows. It was useless. There were simply no words that would fill the void left by her fallen pathfinders. No matter how she phrased it, the news would rip the hearts out of their loved ones.

Tomro gazed at Leah sympathetically, but said nothing. That too came from being good at his job, for he knew that when she got like this, it was best to just stay out of the way.

Suddenly, the hunter sprang to her feet. “I can’t stand it anymore. I gotta get outta here.” Leaving the parchment and quill behind, Leah hurriedly moved up the ramp to the Dalaran portal and stepped through. After a brief disorienting sensation, Leah stepped out of the portico from Krasus Landing onto the streets of Dalaran.

Relieved to be away from Trueshot Lodge, Leah made her way to the Filthy Animal. She walked over to the bar and sat down. She didn’t even order; she just stared at the various decorations on the wall.

Leah was ready to eradicate the Legion - to drive them away from Azeroth, back to the void from where they came. She desperately wished that the war was over, that she could send her troops home to their families instead of sending letters filled with hollow comfort. How she longed for Shango to bring a storm that would wash away the felfire and the brimstone. She was so very ready to get the stink of sulfur out of her nose.

“Mmm, mmm, mmm. Hey there, hot stuff.”

The troll snapped her head in the direction of the voice and scowled. Beside her sat a goblin with beady eyes and a greasy smile who was looking her up and down lasciviously.

“Say, baby,” he continued, totally oblivious to the death-stare Leah was giving him. “Youse ever had the back of those thighs kissed by someone who was standing up?”

“Piss off, Shorty,” Leah snarled.

“Ooh, I like your spunk,” he replied, still not seeming to realize that Leah was about to eat him alive. “How’s about youse and me head somewhere a little more private, so I’s can go up on you.”

Fire flashed in Leah’s eyes. A wicked smile spread across her face as she leaned in close to the goblin and began to stroke the back of his head. “Oh yeah?” she asked in a sultry voice.

“Yeah, baby,” the goblin said with a grin.

Leah abruptly grabbed his hair and slammed his face down into the countertop. The bar went dead silent.

“Ah, gods, woman! Ya broke my frackin’ nose!” the goblin exclaimed as he cupped his hands to catch the blood pouring from his nostrils.

“Yeah, well maybe next time ya be t’inkin’ twice ‘fore ya talk to a lady like dat,” Leah growled after him as he ran for the door. She then noticed the rest of the customers staring at her. “WHAT?!” she shouted.

The other patrons suddenly found various spots on the floor quite interesting. Leah sat back down on her stool and signaled the bartender. Perhaps she would have a pint after all.

#leahsidhe #stories #leah stories

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flauntpage · 7 years ago

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DGB Grab Bag: Three Stars of Comedy HOF, Ugly X-Mas Blazers, and RIP Johnny Bower

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: Radko Gudas – We've all been there.

The second star: Tyler Seguin vs. P.K. Subban – It's the ol' last-off-the-ice superstition stalemate. Stick around for the twist ending.

The first star: Peter Laviolette and the Predators' coaches – The players bet the coaches that they could take at least five of six points on a tough Western Canada road trip. They did, so Laviolette and his staff had to wear these:

And yes, they made them wear them during an actual game.

The Inaugural Class of the Three Stars of Comedy Hall of Fame

Last week was the 200th edition of the Friday Grab Bag. The column has been running for nearly five years now; it dates back the Grantland days, made a brief stop at ESPN, and has lived here at Vice Sports for the last two years. Based on extensive customer research, for many of you it remains your Very Favorite Hockey Column to Read in the Office Bathroom After Lunch on Friday.™

That milestone, mixed in with the slowest week of the NHL regular season, would seem to make this a good time to unveil the first ever Three Stars of Comedy Hall of Fame. The three stars actually predates the Grab Bag itself, having launched as a monthly feature way back in 2011. And despite my occasional attempts to kill it when nobody is looking, the section continues to hold down the leadoff spot in the lineup.

Some weeks, finding three picks is easier than others. But certain personalities have done their best to ease my burden. That's where the Hall of Fame comes in. We'll do this HHOF style, with room for four picks per year. Ladies and gentlemen, the inaugural Class of 2017.

Ilyz Bryzgalov – The first star of the very first edition, Bryzgalov dominated the early days so thoroughly that at one point we tried to retire his number and eliminate him from future consideration. It didn't take, and even though he hasn't play in the NHL since 2015, he still finds a way to make periodic appearances. He's one of two unanimous picks for the inaugural class.

Phil Kessel – The other slam dunk pick, Kessel has appeared in the Three Stars section more than anyone else. Granted, some of those are cases where he's the butt of the joke, as everyone from Ilya Kovalchuk to Ryan Reaves has taken their runs at him. Sometimes he'll accidentally own himself. But in recent years we've learned that Phil can give as good as he gets, and then some. Here's all you need to know about why he's in on the first ballot: He's the only person to ever sweep all three stars in a single week. And he's done it twice.

P.K. Subban – Unlike Kessel or Bryzgalov, when Subban makes the Three Stars he's almost always in on the joke. And that's fine, because lord knows the NHL could use a few more guys with a sense of humor who aren't afraid to show it. Whether he's stealing The Rock's catch phrases, playing dress-up, or kissing Pierre McGuire, Subban's almost always fun. Even when he's sucker punching guys, he finds a way to make it funny. How this guy isn't the face of the league's marketing efforts in the U.S. right now, I'll never understand.

Roberto Luongo – Luongo is the Howie Morenz of funny hockey players, blazing the trail for the generations to come. It's easy to forget it now, but when Luongo first started using Twitter to make jokes, the idea of an NHL star trying to be funny was controversial enough that he had to pretend it wasn't him. But he's made regular appearances in the Three Stars ever since, with his best tweets often being the ones that poke fun at his own controversies, including his tire-pumping feud with Tim Thomas and his never-ending trade saga. And also, um, poop.

And that concludes the Class of 2017. The big omission here is Jaromir Jagr, who falls victim to the four-pick maximum. It was a coin flip between him and Luongo for the last spot, but I figure Jagr will be a unanimous first-ballot pick in the real Hall of Fame, which will probably slightly dampen his disappointment at missing out on a bigger honor here. Also, Luongo once let me play in (and win) his fantasy football league, so I feel like owe him.

Others receiving votes: Brian Burke, Joe Thornton, Wes McCauley, Taylor Hall, Darryl Sutter's face, Brent Burns, and Evgeni Malkin. Better luck next year, everyone.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's World Juniors time, with this year's tournament being held in Buffalo. It's always fun to browse through the list of the tournament's all-time top scorers; the list features plenty of future NHL superstars, like Peter Forsberg, Pavel Bure, and Eric Lindros, as well as some European players who never made it over to North America. But if you keep going, you get into the sweet spot of vaguely memorable NHL quasi-stars, like Michal Pivonka and Ulf Dahlen and Reijo Ruotsalainen. And you also find this week's obscure player: Finnish forward Petri Skriko.

Skriko was a teenage star in Europe, winning rookie honors in the top Finnish league in 1981. This was back when many European stars never made it over to the NHL, but the Canucks used an eighth-round pick on him in that summer's draft. It turned out to be a good gamble, as Skriko would have the second biggest impact on the Canucks of any 1981 eighth-rounder, just behind a defenseman picked by the Blues a few spots later.

That impact would have to wait, though. Skriko stayed in Finland until 1984, starring in a pair of WJCs along the way. But when he arrived in Vancouver, he fit in instantly, scoring 21 goals as a rookie and then following that with four-straight 30+ goal seasons. That included one stretch in 1986 in which he recorded three hat tricks in a span of eight days.

His production faded during the 1989-90 season, and he'd be traded to the Bruins the following year for a second-round pick. That deal ended up helping the Canucks down the line, as they used the pick on Michael Peca. Skriko helped the Bruins get to the 1991 Cup final before being traded to Winnipeg for Brent Ashton, had short stints with the Jets and Sharks before heading home to Finland in 1993 and then finishing his pro career in Denmark. He ended his NHL career with 541 games played, scoring 183 goals and 405 points.

Also, he had fantastic hair.

Be it Resolved

Last week was a big one for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Not only did they celebrate their 100th anniversary by pounding the Carolina Hurricanes 8-1, but they did it while scoring the 20,000th goal in team history.

Or did they?

Here's how the 20,000 breaks down. See if you can spot the problem.

Yeah, "shootout winners" aren't goals. I mean, they are, according to the league. For reasons that have never been entirely clear, the NHL awards the team that wins a shootout one "goal" in the goals-for column of the standings. That makes sense when you're describing the results of a game – you'd rather say "The Rangers won 5-4 in a shootout" than "The Rangers won 4-4 in a shootout," even if the fifth goal wasn't scored during the actual hockey portion of the game. But there's no reason to pretend that it was a real goal for deeper record-keeping purposes.

The NHL's always been weird and inconsistent about this. For example, they consider the shootout winner to be a goal, but don't give the guy who scored it credit for one in his personal stats. (A cynic might suggest that teams don't want their star players padding their stats with an extra half dozen goals a year and then expecting more money.) So it's a goal, but nobody scored it. That makes no sense. And they go the other way too, counting a shootout loss as a goal against even though, statistically, nobody let it in.

And it's not like this is all some sort of semantic argument, since goals for and against can come into play as a tie-breaker in the standings. That hasn't happened yet, but we have seen the league's weird shootout goal math decide the Jennings Trophy, so it's been etched into the record books already.

Needless to say, people who pay attention to this stuff were quick to point out that the Maple Leafs' stat wasn't what it seemed.

As with just about everything that doesn't involve bicycles, Dellow is right. Shootout goals shouldn't count towards a team's historical totals. So be it resolved: The Maple Leafs are well on their way to 20,000 but they're not there yet. Maybe they heard the complaints because they took a big chunk out of it with seven goals last night, but they're still 35 goals away. Real goals.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

This week's YouTube clip isn't really a video; it's more of an audio file. But it's a good one, and under the circumstances I hope you'll indulge me.

This week's clip is Johnny Bower singing "Honky The Christmas Goose."

The hockey world lost Bower this week, as the Hall of Fame goaltender passed away at the age of 93. The rest of the week became a chance to mourn the loss of a legend, while celebrating a life well-lived.

Bower was one of the greatest goalies of all time, and quite likely the best of the 1960s, period. But somehow, that fact ended up being way down the list of what most people remember him for. In all of the many stories and tributes that poured in this week, the point that kept coming home was what a wonderful guy he was. For pretty much his entire life, Johnny Bower was just a very, very nice man. He didn't have to be, because he was a famous athlete and people were going to like him no matter what he did. But it seems like everyone in the hockey world has a story about Bower staying late to sign one last autograph or shake one more hand, or donating his time to a good cause, or having an encouraging word for someone going through a tough time. That's just who he was.

It sounds strange to say it, but it's almost impossible for a hockey player to be a universally beloved figure in Canada. The game just means too much to us up here. It gets too personal. We don't like to see fans of other teams get to be happy, so we instinctively dislike anyone who plays well for someone else. And it takes a lot to get us past that.

Put it this way: If I'm talking to a Habs fan who's getting a little too smug and I decide I want to knock them down a peg or two, I can come up with bad things to say about just about all of their beloved legends. Rocket Richard? He started a riot. Patrick Roy? He quit on the team. Guy Lafleur? What, you mean the guy from the Nordiques? But there's one ironclad exception: Jean Beliveau. No matter how much you hate the Canadiens, you can't find a bad word to say about Beliveau. That's just how it is. And Bower was the Maple Leafs' version of that. That's about the highest compliment you can pay a player.

On the ice, he really was one of the best, as this piece does a good job of showing. He ranks high on just about all of the all-time lists, both traditional and analytics-based. And while many have since been broken, he retired holding several goaltending records.

And of course, he left behind one record that will never be topped: "Honky the Christmas Goose."

You're listening to the story of Honky, a Christmas goose who struggled with his weight until he learned how to blow his nose. No, that doesn't really make sense, not least of which because geese don't have noses. Just enjoy the song and don't think about it too hard.

Honky was the creation of a CBC producer, and in 1965 he approached the Maple Leafs about having a player record the vocals. As Bower recounts it in this Toronto Star article, "He came into the dressing room and wanted to know if anybody on the team would be interested in singing these songs. I’ve never seen so many guys undress and get into the shower so quickly in my life!"

Bower ended up agreeing to do the song because, as the producer said at the time, he was basically "the friendliest man in Canada." There was one minor problem: Bower couldn't sing. But as longtime readers of this column know, that's never stopped a hockey player before, and the rest was history. (The children on the track are apparently Bower's 11-year-old son and some of the neighborhood kids.)

The song tells the story of Honky saving Christmas after Santa gets spooked by all the air traffic that's suddenly clogging up the skies. Continuing his long history of selfishly exploiting animals for their nose-based magic powers, Santa hires Honky to clear out a path.

"Rockets, kites and satellites." Yeah, I'm no aerospace engineer but I don't think there should be too many kites at that elevation. I'm pretty sure nobody in history has ever successfully got a kite twenty feet off the ground for more than six seconds before it nosedived directly down onto Grandma's head, so chill out Santa.

Luckily, the plan works and Honky saves the day. Finally, he'll get some respect, right?

"Though he is fat he is still some use." Holy smokes guys, Honky just saved Christmas for the entire planet, maybe ease up on the body shaming for one minute.

The record came out in November 1965, with proceeds going to charity. It was reportedly a big hit, selling 40,000 copies. They tried to get Bower to record a follow-up a year later, pitching something about "a pelican with a broken wing," but he knew how to quit when he was ahead.

For years, the song was lost to history, with only a handful of copies circulating in the pre-Internet days of the early 90s. But it's resurfaced since, and a new generation has had a chance to enjoy to story of Honky the Christmas Goose. If you can't get enough of the song, here's a clip of Bower performing it on stage at a children's benefit concert years ago.

RIP Johnny Bower. An all-time great goaltender, an even better person, and a passable singer. Not necessarily in that order.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: Three Stars of Comedy HOF, Ugly X-Mas Blazers, and RIP Johnny Bower published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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amtushinfosolutionspage · 7 years ago

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DGB Grab Bag: Three Stars of Comedy HOF, Ugly X-Mas Blazers, and RIP Johnny Bower

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: Radko Gudas – We’ve all been there.

The second star: Tyler Seguin vs. P.K. Subban – It’s the ol’ last-off-the-ice superstition stalemate. Stick around for the twist ending.

The first star: Peter Laviolette and the Predators’ coaches – The players bet the coaches that they could take at least five of six points on a tough Western Canada road trip. They did, so Laviolette and his staff had to wear these:

And yes, they made them wear them during an actual game.

The Inaugural Class of the Three Stars of Comedy Hall of Fame

Some weeks, finding three picks is easier than others. But certain personalities have done their best to ease my burden. That’s where the Hall of Fame comes in. We’ll do this HHOF style, with room for four picks per year. Ladies and gentlemen, the inaugural Class of 2017.

Ilyz Bryzgalov – The first star of the very first edition, Bryzgalov dominated the early days so thoroughly that at one point we tried to retire his number and eliminate him from future consideration. It didn’t take, and even though he hasn’t play in the NHL since 2015, he still finds a way to make periodic appearances. He’s one of two unanimous picks for the inaugural class.

Phil Kessel – The other slam dunk pick, Kessel has appeared in the Three Stars section more than anyone else. Granted, some of those are cases where he’s the butt of the joke, as everyone from Ilya Kovalchuk to Ryan Reaves has taken their runs at him. Sometimes he’ll accidentally own himself. But in recent years we’ve learned that Phil can give as good as he gets, and then some. Here’s all you need to know about why he’s in on the first ballot: He’s the only person to ever sweep all three stars in a single week. And he’s done it twice.

P.K. Subban – Unlike Kessel or Bryzgalov, when Subban makes the Three Stars he’s almost always in on the joke. And that’s fine, because lord knows the NHL could use a few more guys with a sense of humor who aren’t afraid to show it. Whether he’s stealing The Rock’s catch phrases, playing dress-up, or kissing Pierre McGuire, Subban’s almost always fun. Even when he’s sucker punching guys, he finds a way to make it funny. How this guy isn’t the face of the league’s marketing efforts in the U.S. right now, I’ll never understand.

Roberto Luongo – Luongo is the Howie Morenz of funny hockey players, blazing the trail for the generations to come. It’s easy to forget it now, but when Luongo first started using Twitter to make jokes, the idea of an NHL star trying to be funny was controversial enough that he had to pretend it wasn’t him. But he’s made regular appearances in the Three Stars ever since, with his best tweets often being the ones that poke fun at his own controversies, including his tire-pumping feud with Tim Thomas and his never-ending trade saga. And also, um, poop.

Others receiving votes: Brian Burke, Joe Thornton, Wes McCauley, Taylor Hall, Darryl Sutter’s face, Brent Burns, and Evgeni Malkin. Better luck next year, everyone.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It’s World Juniors time, with this year’s tournament being held in Buffalo. It’s always fun to browse through the list of the tournament’s all-time top scorers; the list features plenty of future NHL superstars, like Peter Forsberg, Pavel Bure, and Eric Lindros, as well as some European players who never made it over to North America. But if you keep going, you get into the sweet spot of vaguely memorable NHL quasi-stars, like Michal Pivonka and Ulf Dahlen and Reijo Ruotsalainen. And you also find this week’s obscure player: Finnish forward Petri Skriko.

Skriko was a teenage star in Europe, winning rookie honors in the top Finnish league in 1981. This was back when many European stars never made it over to the NHL, but the Canucks used an eighth-round pick on him in that summer’s draft. It turned out to be a good gamble, as Skriko would have the second biggest impact on the Canucks of any 1981 eighth-rounder, just behind a defenseman picked by the Blues a few spots later.

His production faded during the 1989-90 season, and he’d be traded to the Bruins the following year for a second-round pick. That deal ended up helping the Canucks down the line, as they used the pick on Michael Peca. Skriko helped the Bruins get to the 1991 Cup final before being traded to Winnipeg for Brent Ashton, had short stints with the Jets and Sharks before heading home to Finland in 1993 and then finishing his pro career in Denmark. He ended his NHL career with 541 games played, scoring 183 goals and 405 points.

Also, he had fantastic hair.

Be it Resolved

Or did they?

Here’s how the 20,000 breaks down. See if you can spot the problem.

Yeah, “shootout winners” aren’t goals. I mean, they are, according to the league. For reasons that have never been entirely clear, the NHL awards the team that wins a shootout one “goal” in the goals-for column of the standings. That makes sense when you’re describing the results of a game – you’d rather say “The Rangers won 5-4 in a shootout” than “The Rangers won 4-4 in a shootout,” even if the fifth goal wasn’t scored during the actual hockey portion of the game. But there’s no reason to pretend that it was a real goal for deeper record-keeping purposes.

The NHL’s always been weird and inconsistent about this. For example, they consider the shootout winner to be a goal, but don’t give the guy who scored it credit for one in his personal stats. (A cynic might suggest that teams don’t want their star players padding their stats with an extra half dozen goals a year and then expecting more money.) So it’s a goal, but nobody scored it. That makes no sense. And they go the other way too, counting a shootout loss as a goal against even though, statistically, nobody let it in.

And it’s not like this is all some sort of semantic argument, since goals for and against can come into play as a tie-breaker in the standings. That hasn’t happened yet, but we have seen the league’s weird shootout goal math decide the Jennings Trophy, so it’s been etched into the record books already.

Needless to say, people who pay attention to this stuff were quick to point out that the Maple Leafs’ stat wasn’t what it seemed.

As with just about everything that doesn’t involve bicycles, Dellow is right. Shootout goals shouldn’t count towards a team’s historical totals. So be it resolved: The Maple Leafs are well on their way to 20,000 but they’re not there yet. Maybe they heard the complaints because they took a big chunk out of it with seven goals last night, but they’re still 35 goals away. Real goals.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

This week’s YouTube clip isn’t really a video; it’s more of an audio file. But it’s a good one, and under the circumstances I hope you’ll indulge me.

This week’s clip is Johnny Bower singing “Honky The Christmas Goose.”

Bower was one of the greatest goalies of all time, and quite likely the best of the 1960s, period. But somehow, that fact ended up being way down the list of what most people remember him for. In all of the many stories and tributes that poured in this week, the point that kept coming home was what a wonderful guy he was. For pretty much his entire life, Johnny Bower was just a very, very nice man. He didn’t have to be, because he was a famous athlete and people were going to like him no matter what he did. But it seems like everyone in the hockey world has a story about Bower staying late to sign one last autograph or shake one more hand, or donating his time to a good cause, or having an encouraging word for someone going through a tough time. That’s just who he was.

It sounds strange to say it, but it’s almost impossible for a hockey player to be a universally beloved figure in Canada. The game just means too much to us up here. It gets too personal. We don’t like to see fans of other teams get to be happy, so we instinctively dislike anyone who plays well for someone else. And it takes a lot to get us past that.

Put it this way: If I’m talking to a Habs fan who’s getting a little too smug and I decide I want to knock them down a peg or two, I can come up with bad things to say about just about all of their beloved legends. Rocket Richard? He started a riot. Patrick Roy? He quit on the team. Guy Lafleur? What, you mean the guy from the Nordiques? But there’s one ironclad exception: Jean Beliveau. No matter how much you hate the Canadiens, you can’t find a bad word to say about Beliveau. That’s just how it is. And Bower was the Maple Leafs’ version of that. That’s about the highest compliment you can pay a player.

And of course, he left behind one record that will never be topped: “Honky the Christmas Goose.”

You’re listening to the story of Honky, a Christmas goose who struggled with his weight until he learned how to blow his nose. No, that doesn’t really make sense, not least of which because geese don’t have noses. Just enjoy the song and don’t think about it too hard.

Honky was the creation of a CBC producer, and in 1965 he approached the Maple Leafs about having a player record the vocals. As Bower recounts it in this Toronto Star article, “He came into the dressing room and wanted to know if anybody on the team would be interested in singing these songs. I’ve never seen so many guys undress and get into the shower so quickly in my life!”

Bower ended up agreeing to do the song because, as the producer said at the time, he was basically “the friendliest man in Canada.” There was one minor problem: Bower couldn’t sing. But as longtime readers of this column know, that’s never stopped a hockey player before, and the rest was history. (The children on the track are apparently Bower’s 11-year-old son and some of the neighborhood kids.)

The song tells the story of Honky saving Christmas after Santa gets spooked by all the air traffic that’s suddenly clogging up the skies. Continuing his long history of selfishly exploiting animals for their nose-based magic powers, Santa hires Honky to clear out a path.

“Rockets, kites and satellites.” Yeah, I’m no aerospace engineer but I don’t think there should be too many kites at that elevation. I’m pretty sure nobody in history has ever successfully got a kite twenty feet off the ground for more than six seconds before it nosedived directly down onto Grandma’s head, so chill out Santa.

Luckily, the plan works and Honky saves the day. Finally, he’ll get some respect, right?

“Though he is fat he is still some use.” Holy smokes guys, Honky just saved Christmas for the entire planet, maybe ease up on the body shaming for one minute.

The record came out in November 1965, with proceeds going to charity. It was reportedly a big hit, selling 40,000 copies. They tried to get Bower to record a follow-up a year later, pitching something about “a pelican with a broken wing,” but he knew how to quit when he was ahead.

For years, the song was lost to history, with only a handful of copies circulating in the pre-Internet days of the early 90s. But it’s resurfaced since, and a new generation has had a chance to enjoy to story of Honky the Christmas Goose. If you can’t get enough of the song, here’s a clip of Bower performing it on stage at a children’s benefit concert years ago.

RIP Johnny Bower. An all-time great goaltender, an even better person, and a passable singer. Not necessarily in that order.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: Three Stars of Comedy HOF, Ugly X-Mas Blazers, and RIP Johnny Bower syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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talesfromthemanholecover · 7 years ago

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1984 Warband Project Pt 1

The last few posts have featured the art from the Warhammer 2nd Edition box set that introduced me to the game. As is often the case with images and forms from childhood, these are burned into my brain, and there’s a particular pleasure in seeing them take solid form as miniatures, or having them painted and active on the battlefield.

It was paging through those booklets one day, and seeing the same figures posted on FB, that made me want to make a Dark Elf Exiles warband. It was a good size project, and now I want to do more. By keeping the forces small I could realistically do a warband for every army in the setting.

So in this post I’m going to go through the options for 2nd Edition warbands, maintaining a similar feel to the elves - 1982-1984, early oldhammer, and largely solid based. To start with let’s look at the sample army lists in the back of the book.

Pictures from other blogs are used here without permission, for reference and inspiration. I’ve provided credit and links where possible. If you see anything of yours and don’t want it shared, send an ask and I’ll replace it.

Old World Imperialists/Southern City States

These seem to be Medeival and Rennaissance historical armies respectively (almost a reversal of the later dynamic where the Empire gets the steam tanks and Bretonnia gets the knights).

Steve over at Ye Olde Skool Warhammer has made a nice Southern City States army using Burgundian historical figures.

Imperial Cathan

Imperial Cathay can’t seem to decide if it’s China or Japan. At this stage in development of the setting both sides use the same list, with Samurai and Vimto Monks.

Pictured: Aly Morrison's Oriental Heroes from the first Citadel Open Day.

Goblin Raiders

Goblins have long been a favourite of mine, but my existing goblin collection is a Midhammer squigfest. Night goblins didn’t even have their famous pointy hoods back in ‘84. I’ve always loved Kev Adams’ goblin war machines with all the delightful plant and fungal life moulded into the bases, so maybe a Broken Nose warband based around the Skull Crusher and Lead Belcher?

Chaos Band

This list consists of beastmen and chaos warriors only. I have enough of both lying around to make a force, even before counting more recent purchases such as the Pantheon of Chaos. This will be a good project because it won’t cost anything and will get some beloved older figures painted.

Dark Elf Invasion

Already done. Though there are a couple of models I’d still like to add.

Sea Elves & High Elves

My memories of High Elves are more tied to 4th Edition and WAR than 2nd ed, but Sea Elves might be fun. I’m not sure what minis they had other than the famous Riolta Snow. There was a set of Marauder Sea Elves (MM82) though they’re from later in the 80s.

Orcs

The orcs of the era aren’t particularly exciting, though some of their armour designs in the art are interestingly ornate. Half-orcs, on the other hand, disappear in later editions and have some neat figures. I like C10 and their distinctive skull-and-ribcage shields.

Norse Dwarfs & Dwarven Warriors of Caraz-a-Carak

So the Dwarven Warriors have more seige engines and gnomes, and the Norse Dwarfs have shield maidens. The two miniatures I remember from the days of the manhole cover were dwarves - a C06 Dwarf Cleric, and one of Bugman’s rangers - which is a figure wonderful in its simplicity, a perfectly standard issue dwarf.

I’ve got an Asgard DW11 dwarf arquebusier who might fit with the more technically inclined faction. The rest of the range looks interesting - particularly DW6 and DW9.

Finally I have an Dwarf Juggernaut, (the one seen here painted by Shaitan) which might I could try to build a Caraz-a-Carak or some sort of land pirate faction around.

Amazonian War Party

I have some Lustria-themed figures already - like the rogue Slann merchant and Power Weapon Bearer - but seeing these Amazons painted over at Shamutanti Helte inspires me to collect them. Always one of my favourite 2nd ed factions, I love the punk aesthetic and pink mohawks. I like the idea of Amazons allying with other natives but I don’t like the style of the old pygmy figures - questions of taste aside, they just seem too cartoony. The slaves of the Slann might make good auxiliaries, while being in keeping with the style of the other figures.

Slann Empire

There are some great ones being released these days, I like them better than the original Slann and they’re certainly cheaper. I have a set of Tim Prow’s Eru-Kin, but I’ll save those for 40k - they’re lizardy and high-tech. For old school Slann I want to go more frog than lizard, so I’ve picked up a set of the Bizaza Guard from Seán O'Sullivan’s Katsina Miniatures. Mine are still unpainted, and I feel like I’ll need some cold ones or slaves to round out the warband.

#miniature painting #tabletop wargaming #1980s #2nd edition #oldhammer #warhammer #warhammer fantasy