#creativetwins getting their shit together and talking

[exhaustedfander]

When is Enough Enough? [Chapter Eight]

Finally, Roman and Remus have a talk. 

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / Epilog 

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Remus’s eyes fluttered open, eyes straining against the sunlight pouring in through the blinds. He groaned, the pain of his injury something that could no longer be completely numbed with painkillers. He would be fine, but goddamn it did it hurt.

“Mmm…Logan?” Remus groaned, hazily remembering that his boyfriend had been in his hospital room when he’d fallen asleep. His eyes grazed over to the chair where Logan had fallen asleep, only to find it empty. Maybe he’d left in the night?

“I’m right here, Remus,” Remus heard a voice say beside him, turning to see Logan now standing at his bedside, still dressed in the clothes he’d been wearing yesterday. Logan knelt at his side, pushing Remus’s frazzled hair out of his eyes. “Good morning, love.”

Wow, Remus liked that a lot. Had he ever called him that before? Maybe yesterday…but everything felt so fuzzy…oh wait!

“You told Roman!” Remus shouted suddenly, effectively startling his boyfriend. How he could be so alert just after waking up, Logan would never know.

“Yes…yes I did. We talked about this yesterday, do you not recall?” Remus shrugged.

“I was pretty damn drugged up, Dragonfly. I remember some stuff it’s just all…fuzzy. I remember how numb I felt, and now everything hurts.” There was a pout in Remus’s voice, for once not out of drama. It really did hurt. Logan frowned.

“Do you need anything? I can get a doctor if you’re in pain –.”

“I’ll be fine, Dragonfly. Just sore. I guess being hit by a car will do that to you.”

“They arrested the man who hit you,” Logan said, trying to calm the rising anger in his tone, “I can’t believe someone could be as cruel as he was. To just leave you there.” Remus frowned.

“My fault though, remember? I…I was drunk, and I hadn’t been paying attention…” Logan shook his head.

“Regardless of whether or not you were inebriated, that would not be grounds to hit you and just,” Logan swallowed the lump beginning to form in his throat, “leave you bleeding out. Remus, I –.” Logan felt some form of relief only when Remus took his hand, squeezing it tightly.

Logan had been plagued by dreams all throughout the night, terrible dreams where Remus hadn’t been so lucky. Where Remus had died bleeding out on the concrete, alone and desperate. Logan had woken with a start, his eyes landing on Remus sleeping in his hospital bed. Foolishly, much like a child after being startled from a nightmare, he’d wanted to crawl into Remus’s bed with him and hold him close, feeling him breathing and warm and alive.

“Logan? Logan, are you okay?” Logan shook his head, realizing how lost in his paranoia he’d become.

“Apologies, I-I suppose I didn’t get a very proficient amount of sleep last night. It appears I zoned out.”

“I told you, you could’ve gone home last night. I would’ve been fine on my own.” Logan’s first instinct was to respond, “But I wouldn’t have been fine on my own,” though he decided not to admit such things. He didn’t want to add to Remus’s discomfort.

“And as I said last night, I wanted to stay with you. I do believe I might’ve been overly concerned if I wasn’t in your presence.” A shit-eating-grin spread across Remus’s face, which honestly wasn't a very uncommon expression for him

“Aw, you were so worried about me.” Remus said it in a teasing manner, as though the notion that Logan was beyond himself with worry was ridiculous. Except then he noticed the look in Logan’s eyes, that terrified, aghast look. “Dragonfly?”

“I was worried, Remus,” Logan rasped, his voice wavering with more emotion than Remus can ever recall hearing. Had he been this emotional last night? Remus was barely lucid at the time, but the memories are beginning to reform, unevenly and slow. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been so scared in all my life.”

“Logan, oh, baby don’t cry.” It appeared that Logan hadn’t realized he was crying because he gasped softly as he touched a hand to his cheek and pulled back. Remus did his best, given the circumstances, to wrap his boyfriend in a lose embrace.

“Careful,” Logan managed to mutter through his tears, “I – I don’t want to cause you any pain.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. A little banged up, but I’ve handled worse.” This was a blatant lie; Remus had certainly never been hit by a car before.

“I – I thought that I was going to lose you, Remus. I believed that our last conversation would be the inane fight that I put us through. I – I thought that my own ignorance was going to be the cause of your death.” The last bit came out a chocked whisper.

“Logan, Dragonfly, no. It’s not your fault, please, don’t make this out to be your fault. I mean, I’ve been thinking about walking in front of a car for years,” – Remus noticed Logan’s eyes widen in horror – “Not that any of this was intentional! You know me, Mr. impulsive, and all that. I’m just trying to tell you…it’s alright. It’s kinda, uh, nice. Knowing that you were so worried about me.”

“Of course I was,” Logan said, letting go of Remus for a moment before gripping his hand again, not wanting to cause him any more pain in an embrace for too long, “When I got the call I was so…scared. I don’t scare easily, you know.”

“Oh, I know that. I’ve seen you watch a horror movie and you never jump at the good bits! And my god, you’re so hard to spook, even when I’m trying my very hardest!” Logan laughed drily at that.

“Right. I…I had no idea that I was your emergency contact, so it came as quite a shock.” Shit. Right. Remus had never told him!

“Ah, fuck. I kinda forgot I did that, to be honest. We’d only been dating a few months and I know I should have asked your permission first, but I already really liked you a whole lot and had a lot of trust in you that I didn’t even think about it.”

“It’s alright, love,” Logan said, beginning to regain some sense of composure as he whipped at the tears under his glasses, and holy shit Logan hadn’t ever cried this much in front of him and it was kinda crazy to see, “I don’t mind. However, I do believe it might’ve upset your brother to some degree.”

His brother? What did this have to do with Roman? Oh. Right.

Suddenly, memories of Roman visiting him clanked around in his brain. Logan had told Roman that he was in the hospital, he remembered his boyfriend saying that, and Roman had spoken to him. He remembered Roman saying…that he was glad that Remus was okay. That had been surprising. Why would Roman be worried about him?

But oh yeah, Remus remembered what Roman had said. “I don’t hate you, Remus…I never have.” He hadn’t really had the ability to take it all in before but now he was finally getting a chance to think it over and wow.

And he’d said it too. He told Roman he didn’t hate him either. He’d been so certain for so long that Roman despised so much as being in his presence, but now he’d told him that wasn’t true at all.

“Knock knock!” Remus’s thoughts were interrupted by Roman, rather annoyingly mind you, actually saying the words knock knock as he opened the door to Remus’s hospital room and waggled a bag in front of him. “I brought bagels.” Well this was decidedly very weird.

“Ah, good morning, Roman,” Logan said, acting as though he hadn’t just been crying quite a bit and he stood up to greet Roman.

“Morning, Microsoft Nerd. And good morning to you, brother of mine,” Roman said nonchalantly, as if all of this was all totally normal, “I got you the onion flavor because you’re a freak. It’s still your favorite, right?” Remus could hardly believe it; why would Roman bother to remember something so insignificant about him?

“Uh, yeah. That’s right, and even if I am a freak, it’s the best flavor. Besides, of course, shoving all the flavors in your mouth at once!” Remus declared, smiling wide. Even in his still disheveled and weakened state, the Cheshire-cat grin made up for a lot of his usual bravado.

The three of them ate breakfast talking about nothing of real consequence. Still, it was all so new to them. Roman and Remus spending time together. Logan and Remus being open as a couple with him. And Roman was making jokes and teasing him.  Not in the nasty, hurt-filled manner that they tormented each other with for years, but instead in a casual, nonthreatening sibling way.

A doctor came in to check on Remus, noting that he would most likely only need to stay for another couple of days to rest up and heal before going home. Home, he thought to himself bitterly.

His apartment was a third story walk-up, and in his condition, that wasn’t going to be very doable. But then, out of the blue, Logan had turned to him and said: “You’re more than welcome to stay at my apartment while you recover. It being on the ground level should make things easier for you.” Remus swallowed a wad of spit, watching as the doctor left the room and seeing the fairly teasing smirk on Roman’s face.

“I – I mean, yeah. Sure.”

“Or longer,” Logan blurted, his eyes lading on the floor, “You could stay longer, if you would like. Uh, that is to say, I would like it if you wanted to stay longer.” Remus raised an eyebrow, noticing the blush spreading across Logan's face.

“Are you asking me to move in with you, Dragonfly?”

“Good lord, you two are cute!” Roman’s gushing was promptly ignored as Remus’s voice commanded Logan’s attention, their eyes meeting hesitantly.

“I – perhaps. Yes. I…value your company and having you around more often would be ideal. I like it when you read your stories aloud to me, and I enjoy watching serial killer documentaries at absurdly late times in the evening and –.”

“Yes.” Logan blinked.

“Yes as in…?” Remus grinned.

“Yes as in yes, you dork. I want to move in with you, Logan.” Relief washed over Logan, a bright smile spreading across his face that Roman didn’t manage to miss. My god, his friend was smiling so unabashedly, so joyfully. Remus and Logan were so incredibly happy, and it warmed him down to the bone.

What did not manage to melt his heart, however, was when Remus went in for a kiss and there was a bit too much tongue for his liking.

“Okay, if you two are going to make out, I will leave!” The pair separated, Remus grinning still as Logan blushed furiously.

“My apologies…”

“Oh, I’m not apologizing for anything,” Remus said smugly, “You’re just jealous because I have this nerd all to myself.” Roman guffawed.

“Jealous? As if.”

“Ah right, I forgot emos were more your type.” Roman searched for a rebuttal but found none.

“You got me there.”

Once Logan had drained the coffee cup Roman had provided with him, he got up from the chair he’d stationed at Remus’s bedside.

“I’m going to go get some more coffee,” Logan said, his sleep-deprivation prevalent in his tone, but Remus supposed sleeping curled up in a chair would do that to you, “Does anyone need anything?” “We’re good, Dragonfly. Don’t fall in love with any hot doctors on the way to the coffee machine because you’re mine,” Remus joked, earning a fond eye-roll.

“I’ll try not to,” Logan said before disappearing from the room and leaving the two brothers alone.

“So…” Remus said after a moment of fairly tense silence, drumming his fingers on the railing of the bed, “Just to clarify here, you don’t hate me, right?” The expression on Roman’s face was absolutely incredulous. He sighed, scooting his chair a bit closer to Remus and placing a gentle hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“Of course I don’t hate you, Remus,” he said, as though it had been obvious the whole time. As though they hadn’t spent so much of their lives bitter with one another and avoiding each other’s company, “In fact, I love you. You’re my brother and – and I’m sorry that things have been so messed up between us for so long. But I’d like to fix things, if you wanted to. We haven’t really felt like brothers for a long, long time. But...I want to.”

Roman loved him. He didn’t just tolerate him or feel something a little less than distain. His brother loved him.

“God, when did you turn in to such a big softie?” Remus asked, as if he wasn’t nearly sniffling himself at the thought of Roman loving him despite his weirdness, despite his odd sense of humor, despite all that they’d endured as siblings. “Aw, who am I kidding? You’ve always been a softie. I love you too, Broman.”

And so the twins talked, for the first time in a long time, like brothers. They teased, and they poked fun. They talked of their respective partners, joked about “busting Remus out of this depressing joint” (Logan would have both their heads on a platter if they tried anything like that).

Things weren’t miraculously fixed between them. There would still be issues that needed addressing, but those problems no longer felt unsurmountable. They made plans to meet up with Roman’s friends, Remus was actually being extended an invitation to be a part of the group. He would finally get to show off his insanely cute nerd and prove to the world that he was his.

Perhaps taking twenty minutes getting bitter, lukewarm coffee wasn’t exactly necessary. But Logan was mindful of how Roman had given him and Remus space the day prior and was merelt returning the favor.

Besides, returning hearing the brothers laughing together would certainly be worth it.

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