#crazy=genius is the primary example that comes to mind

[gibbearish]

huh. having now understood reaching my target audience of one i think i now get why certain artists have gone batshit, and its because no matter their audience size or how explicitly they state things, no one gets what theyre actually saying

[gozine-translate]

Terminally-ill Genius Dark Knight - 151

151: Returning from the Mission and an Uncomfortable Break [2]

​​​​After returning from the mission. I sat on my bed in Sidus' hall and quietly thought to myself.

What is the biggest gain I got this time? Of course, there could be various answers to this question, but the truth is, I already knew the answer.

'Sure enough, when it comes to Inner Lunatic's best gain, it's a unit'

Sure, gold coins and swordsmanship are great too. But the core of this game lies in cooperation. Recognizing that you can't never do everything alone. It's a game where you need to calculate the synergy between each unit, and clear it by helping each other'

That's exactly the fun element of Inner Lunatic.

Therefore, I can say one of the best things I gained this time is the dog tribe guy sitting in front of me with a grumpy face.

A unit that possesses an absurd talent, with [Genius of Command] and [Master of Memorization] traits. Prim

"So, your name’s Prim? From now on, you’ll be my loyal servant. At a level where you're not different from my hands and feet."

However, there was a huge problem with this guy. For example… His personality was twisted, as if he's going crazy.

Prim frowned at my serious tone and responded.

“No, I don’t want to."

“What?”

I clenched my fist in disbelief at the ridiculous response from the boy in front of me and ask him back

Where the hell did this rude brat come from…

Of course I never thought of that I knew well from the start that this bastard was like this when I brought him along. I sighed and focused on the few traits displayed in his status window.

As I skimmed through his overall status, the severity of his mental issues and his other unbearable traits became evident.

------------------------------------------------

[Basic Information]

Name: Prim Gender: Male Age: 15 Race: Beastfolk Primary Element: Wind Achievements: -

[Traits]

Positive: [Genius of Command] / [Master of Memorization] / [Leadership] Neutral: [My Way] Negative: [Moody] / [Lacks Common Sense] / [Rough Speech] / [Hot-Tempered]

[Stats]

Physical Strength: 6 Mana: 3 Luck: 4 Willpower: 4 Charm: 10

[Skills]

Passive Skill: - Active Skill: -

----------------------------------------------

I looked at the traits that form this bastard, which are close to disasters, and at Prim, who was still eagerly rolling his pupils even at this moment

‘[Lacks Common Sense], [Rough Speech], [Moody], [My Way], and [Hot-Tempered]… What kind of insane combination is this?'

I couldn’t help but sigh. A collection of the worst possible traits all gathered in one place.

'To sum it up,'

Prim's mental state is, simply put. He's an absurd brat who's lost all common sense, spouting whatever he wants based on his mood, throwing tantrums, and being hysterical. What kind of ridiculous combination of traits is this?

Since Paracelsus, It had been a long time that I felt my mind spinning like this. Sure, he wasn't exactly sane either, but not this.

These bastards… I am speechless that they all just get on my nerves in this way.

"So, are you saying you're going back on your word after decided to follow me?"

I suppressed my anger and asked him. Prim perked up his ears, showing the trait of a beastfolk, or rather dog tribe. He's probably evaluating his worth in his own way. I can almost hear the gears turning in his head, so I'm sure of it.

Considering that I willingly made a proposal to him, he's probably thinking that he has some value to me. He's trying to get this from me. That's why he's acting all stubborn like that.

It's so obvious. Too obvious.

"No, well, I'm not saying I'm going back on my word… but considering that Nox-nim went to the trouble of paying a hefty sum of gold to bring me here, doesn't that mean I have some value? I'm just saying I deserve to be treated accordingly. That's all."

This brat… He's very bold, isn't he?

I felt the ruffian inside me waking up. If this were the kind and gentle Yoochan, maybe I'd forgive him, but the current me, there's no way. Because I'm a ruffian, completely consumed by its concept.

Meanwhile, it seems he had no idea what I was thinking. His expression looked relaxed. From picking his ear, blowing it out, to the way he talks that makes people infuriated…

While testing people's limits, in general, pushes people's anger to the extreme. I know from the way how he takes this attitude as if it's nothing..

'I admit it. This guy is a natural-born piece of trash.'

I stood up from my seat where I had been sitting with my legs crossed.

"You do have some value, but there's one thing you're overlooking."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't keep servants who don't follow me. If I don't need you, I'll just 'dispose' of you. Even if you think about it, isn't it like that?"

"Haha. I'm not sure what you mean."

The guy was still smirking, as if not understanding my personality. He probably thinks I wouldn't get rid of him after paying so much to bring him here.

'What a fool. If I had actually spent money, maybe. But I already got back all the money I used to buy you. Rather, I even made a profit.'

But he doesn't know this. The sneer on his face. is obviously mocking me.

So, though it was sudden, I decided to show proof to him that my words weren't just for show.

Ssshring

The white blade slid smoothly out of its sheath.

'Huh?'

That's exactly how his expression tinged.

The blade, now darkening, was aimed directly at Prim.

Sweating nervously, Prim stammered.

"Um… Nox-nim? Don't you need me? I'm confused why you pull out your weapon like this"

"From now, I will tell you how they deal with disobedient servants in the Reinhaver family."

"Gulp!"

He instinctively raised his arms to protect his head. Well, as a former slave, he's probably been beaten a lot Whether it was getting hit on the head or kicked in the stomach.

Well, such a thing is extremely common in Inner Lunatic World

But was I the one who beat and cursed at him? No. Unfortunately for him, I'm not the one he should be angry with.

But me?

'This brat disrespected me.'

That's something I can't forgive as the youngest son of the Reinhaver family. So, I decided to teach him a simple truth.

'You don't mess with someone stronger than you, no, at least don't mess with me.’

The simplest truth that governs this world. My goal was to make him understand the law of the jungle properly.

Maybe, I could succeed in fixing Prim's mentality, something I couldn't achieve even in the game. The thought made my heart race.

'I'm only doing this to see if I can erase a unit's negative traits. It's not like I'm venting for a trivial reason.'

Yeah, that's right.

I raised my sword and swung it sharply at him. As the blade cut through the air, it stopped just before his nose. Prim, with his eyes still shut, screamed at me in panic.

"W-wait… You crazy bastard!! Where do you get off suddenly hitting someone with that…"

"So, you finally show your true colors. You just dared to speak rudely to your master, didn't you?"

"…Uh. That's, I think you must've imagined it"

Prim's face stiffened as he spit out the last words. Looking at Prim, who now had his ears drooped, I sheathed my sword and clenched my fist this time.

This would hurt, but it wouldn't kill him. Praying that he'd smarten up under my care, I put all my strength into my punch.

Pow! Wham! Whack!

"Ow! Ahh! Wait, stop!"

And so, the only thing that echoed inside my room at Sidus' hall for a while was his pained cries. It took him about two hours to finally swear incomplete loyalty to me.

'Stubborn as hell. To hold out for so long…'

But all he got for that was more beatings.

I clicked my tongue, looking at the guy who was now a total wreck.

Zitri, who had been bringing tea was astonished and offered a short prayer for Prim.

"May he go to a better plac…"

"I'm not dead yet… not yet…!"

As Prim got up again with his arms wide open, I promptly punched him in the head again.

It took another 30 minutes for the knocked-out guy to wake up.

--------------------------------------

After a while …

Prim was now sitting properly, receiving a lesson from Zitri, who was wearing glasses. The lesson went something like this:

"When serving young master who looks like the sky, you must always use honorifics. Even if the young master does something unreasonable, like using tea that's supposed to help you sleep so you can't move. Never attack or doubt him. Understood?"

"… No, that's a bit…."

"Understood?!"

Zitri continued her explanation while looking at me with a somewhat expression that mixed with resentment.

'Am I just imagining that?'

Well, it was a pretty decent lesson. It roughly covers what to do when serving me, how to act around me in front of others, and what a servant's duties are. There were almost a hundred items she explained.

Naturally, Prim's expression didn't look good. And naturally, I am enjoying it too

'Serves you right. you bastard that like dog off its leash.'

By the way, I think Zitri is pretty amazing. I don't even know what a servant is supposed to do.

I've heard nobles take their servants to the academy, but I wasn't sure what tasks they were assigned. So, I'm learning a lot from what Zitri is saying. From what I heard, she's been taking "The Dignity and Attitude of a Maid" class recently. She's probably not wrong about anything she's saying.

'I trust Zitri's words. In fact, she's never been wrong so far.'

Sometimes, Zitri is exactly a unit I trust even more than myself

"Let's end the lecture here. Seeing that his eyes are still alive, he's bound to crawl back again"

"Gasp!"

Prim made a frightened expression as if he'd been caught.

Zitri sighed and reported,

"He's not an easy one. As I thought, he's definitely a servant worthy of being chosen by you, young master. His eyes are strangely similar…"

"Naturally, it's not a compliment, is it?"

"….."

Zitri paused for a moment before speaking again.

"Ah, right! I have some news for you."

"Trying to change the subject?"

Zitri feigned innocence and said. I decided to moderately go along with her jokes

"Young master other comrades have been approved to transfer to Eldain Academy. They went through an illegal route, and I've heard that Young Master Grain spent a considerable amount of gold coins for that"

The other units she mentioned were versatile characters including the likes of Erina, Rona, May, and Kushan Adrian. It's dangerous to be far apart, and I couldn't get help in emergencies. So it seems everything was taken care of well.

Also, it seems Grain really helped them to get their admission safely.

As expected, Dark Family is useful in a situation like this.

I don't know if this is a compliment, anyway, that's how it was

"The others will be arriving soon. You there, slave, get ready. We're going to greet them"

"I'm not a slave! I have a name, Prim! If you call me by my name, I also …"

"Shut up. If you hadn't tried to challenge me from the start, I would have adjusted it appropriately. But what did you do? didn't you defy your master without knowing your place?"

"That, should I take a shower first? Since I'm part of Dog tribe, I kind of smell like a dog and human mixed in…"

"Be back in five minutes."

I said it calmly. Prim's tone had become much more obedient, but it's clear that he'd soon start acting up again and making me angry. But I had to endure it, knowing he'd be useful later.

A little while later…

I tied him up because he tried to escape while pretending to take a shower and made him do a preparation. I made sure he was wearing an artifact that would hide that he's a demi-human, so there was nothing to worry about. This place is still a society with strong aristocratic bias. People like Prim were still facing discrimination.

Anyway, soon after, Zitri and I were able to reunite with our comrades after a while.

Rona, Erina, Kushan, May…

All of them looked excited. It's as if seeing country bumpkins who had just arrived in Seoul. It wasn't exactly a good sight, so I quickly motioned for them to follow me.

"Let's go and talk"

I said that to avoid drawing unnecessary attention

But then Rona was the first to gasp and exclaim,

"Uwaaaaaaa! Realllyyyy Hugeee..."

All eyes turned to me. Then I heard the murmuring sounds

"What the heck? Did we have people like that in our academy?"

"Seriously, they even let in dogs or cows nowadays"

"I say… But isn't that Nox von Reinhaver?"

……Damn it How come Rona hasn't a bit changed?

What absurd is, in the middle of that, as if numbed his legs, Prim started looking around nervously. Most likely, because of the student’s earlier comment about "letting dogs or cows in."

'Well, technically, he is a dog.'

Thinking that, I grabbed Rona by the ear.

I think we need to move quickly to another place to be free from these stares.

----------------------------------------------------

While Nox was reuniting with his old comrades.

High above Eldain Academy, a voluptuous woman, floating in the air, cloaked in a transparent magical barrier, was watching Nox.

"So that's the one, huh? The disciple I'm supposed to train?"

"Yes! Crunch crunch! That's right!"

A familiar woman's voice came from beyond the magic stone hanging at her waist.

[jostenneil]

I would like some shoujo recs! I haven't read any in a longtime. I don't mind if they have love triangles or love quadrangles as long as the dynamics are good.

i’m sorry for getting to this late! and i hope it’s okay to rec some josei as well, the only difference between shoujo and josei strictly speaking is the age demographic, otherwise both traditionally cater towards women (not that other ppl can’t read these obv!) 

princess tutu (anime) - this is one of the greatest pieces of shoujo i’ve ever been exposed to. it centers on a rly clever and cathartic adaptation of the swan lake mythos, and what’s most interesting about it is its focus on storytelling. the primary tag line of the show is “may those who accept their fate be granted happiness. may those who defy their fate be granted glory”. it’s all about the characters making choices and realizing their own ability to write the story that follows, rather than remaining shackled to the insidious story penned by the primary villain, drosselmeyer. the relationships are complex and dark but also rly healing in the long run, and the ballet aesthetics are exquisite! 

kanata kara (manga) - this isekai manga centers on noriko, a girl suddenly dropped into an alternate world where she’s referred to as “the awakening”, fated to awaken the monstrous sky demon. everyone in this world is bent on getting “the awakening” first to use it to their own benefit, but noriko is actually found by the sky demon, a boy named izark, and they start to travel together through various countries while on the run. the rly charming point of kanata kara is that noriko doesn’t magically know the language of the world, she has to learn it entirely from scratch. she’s also someone who works rly hard to be useful and a source of solid support for izark and the friends she makes, and i think that coupled with the narrative message of each person having their part to play in the betterment of the world is rly inspiring to read about 

akagami no shirayukihime (anime/manga) - shirayuki is a girl with rly vibrant red hair, and the prince of her country wants her as his concubine bc of it, so she decides to run away to the neighboring country. there she meets the country’s second prince, zen, along with his friends at the palace, and she makes a new living for herself as a palace pharmacist. it’s a rly sweet manga that i appreciate for delving into the behind the scenes part of court politics, particularly bc we tend to think that fantasies imply battles, but that’s not necessarily the end all, be all of relations between countries. there’s also a wonderful focus on shirayuki’s work as a pharmacist, and how her knowledge of plants and medicinal herbs helps her support zen as he works to become a prince more involved with his people 

legend of basara (manga) - this series focuses on a post apocalyptic japan ruled by an oppressive emperor. a child of prophecy is fated to be born into a village and save the country, and when twins are born, the villagers assume the brother is the fated savior. when they grow up, however, one of the emperor’s sons, the red king, kills the brother, and so his sister, sarasa, has to pretend she’s the one who died so she can carry on the revolution as her brother, else all hope is lost. all of this is tied in with the fact that in her rare free time, sarasa happens to meet a boy named shuri, who is actually the red king! neither of them know each other’s real identities or that they’re the ones facing each other on the battlefield, so it makes for a rly angty romance, coupled in with excellent political commentary on privilege and oppression. shuri has one of the best antagonist to protagonist developments i’ve ever seen, and sarasa is a great example of a character vested with so much responsibility, who wants to bring her people to freedom but also be just a normal girl 

honey and clover (anime/manga) - this is one of my all time favorites! it follows some university students attending art school and their day-to-day life as they struggle to create, maintain relationships with each other, graduate, etc. i think chica umino’s works in general can be exemplified by her portrayal of every day life, and how it’s not so mundane and actually carries a lot of emotion. there’s so much catharsis present in this work for me bc it really reaches out to people who feel lost of purposeless or alone in their lives and feel like they have no reason to continue creating or moving forward. i think it also has a rly realistic portrayal of romance in the sense that its focus is on how characters grow through romance rather than whether they end up with a certain person. esp if you’re a college student, i think it’ll rly resonate with you 

kobato (manga) - this was serialized in a seinen magazine for some reason but i think most ppl agree it feels shoujo in delivery. it’s probably my personal favorite clamp work. the floral aesthetics and artwork of angels is absolutely gorgeous, and it features a rly endearing story about a girl, kobato, who must collect “healed hearts” in a bottle in order to return to a certain place. i can’t really reveal what i most enjoy about it without giving away serious spoilers, but there’s that classic clamp execution of the binding nature of contracts and weighing the things we want against the things we must do, which makes for some rly heartfelt, angsty progressions. mostly i just love seeing the narrative unfold kobato, as she starts off as is this seemingly naive girl who we come to realize is actually hurting deeply inside

lovely complex (anime) - this is a classic so if you’ve already heard of it i wouldn’t be surprised but nonetheless it’s probably my favorite in that area of early 00s shoujo romcoms. the story follows risa and otani, who are known as a comedic duo in their high school bc she’s unusually tall and he’s unusually short. there’s lots of gags and kidding around, but ultimately the story delves into how both of them subconsciously fall for each other despite treating each other like gag men at first. there’s comedic love triangles and plenty of miscommunication galore, but i think it takes these shoujo tropes and puts a rly refreshing twist on them that drives you crazy in a way that’s actually very entertaining. the infamous bear curry gag has practically been immortalized in shoujo fandom 

yumeiro patissiere (manga) - this is another one most people have probably heard of BUT, that’s usually bc of the anime. the manga is actually much shorter and different in some ways, and at the end of the day i think i prefer it, esp art wise as the charm in matsumoto’s art style is just impossible to replicate anywhere else. it follows a girl named ichigo, who has a very sensitive taste palate and is spontaneously selected to attend a patissieres academy, despite the fact that she can’t cook for shit! she’s placed in the a-level class alongside the academy’s three genius students, commonly called the “sweets princes”, and they befriend and gradually help her hone her skills until she’s at a level where she can compete with them on a team. all in all it’s a rly endearing story about perseverance, hard work, and the desire to make ppl happy with the food you make for them (kitchen princess is also a predecessor to this series that i think may even have heavily inspired it and i would recommend it, too! it’s just a little on the darker side in terms of dramatics) 

this is just the start of a list tbh but these are some of my all time favorites that came to mind! do let me know if you try out and enjoy any of them, i would love to hear about it ❤️

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Do you think BigHit pays attention to how much things to show to be able to "please" each ship, esp the maknae ships? For example, If a run ep/any content showed a little bit more of vmin, it will somehow highlight jikook or taekook next. For sure, the boys are not faking their interactions, but do u think BigHit consciously monitor these interactions and edit it in a way that can avoid violent reactions from diff ship groups? Sorry I cannot word this ask well. 😕 I'd love to hear ur thoughts.

Thank you so much for the amazing question! And your wording was really good and clear so don’t worry about that.

I think the first major thing we need to remember is that BH is a company, and a company’s main purpose, above all else, is to generate revenue. Which isn’t a bad thing in this case seeing as, depending on how much BH makes, so do the members since their contracts, compared to others in the same industry, have some great percentages in their favor.

With that in mind, the answer to your question is a very simple and straight forward yes. BH monitors and plans things accordingly to please (paying) costumers, in the context of this answer, shippers. Fan service and showing certain interactions in certain ways are a great marketing tool that every idol agency uses for decades now, it isn’t anything new or revolutionary in any shape or form, though it’s clear that the type of fan service the BTS members do nowadays has changed in comparison to earlier years, like Jimin being required to perform shirtless at an award show.

In the context of this answer when using “ship”, I simply mean two members interacting with each other and are liked together by a certain community of people, and not actual pairs that have (in my opinion) chances or signs of being real (in a romantic sense) at all, except for vmin and namjin, since those are the only two we see as fulfilling that criteria of romantic potential and are the only two we focus on on this account. But that at large is a post/discussion for another time.

When it comes to showing different interactions between ships, or even really any kind of duo or trio in the group, editing and what does and doesn’t get shown certainly plays a role and follows some kind of idea as well. A good example of that would be how following the release of Dynamite there was a bigger “focus” on J*k*ok, seeing as they had their own moment together in the choreography and we were shown more of their interactions/”moments” in content around that time. But, while that satisfied one major ship and its devotees, it didn’t satisfy another, so it needed to be balanced out. Which is exactly what BH did.

More below the cut since this got a little long:

If you look at the Break the Silence: Persona movie commentary done by the members, the maknaes sit together in the middle of the sofa (and the screen) with JK between vmin, meaning that both major ships could pay attention to their two members and be “pleased” at the same time by any and all interactions or “moments”. A counter argument to moments involving all three of them working in a positive manner would be the Dynamite performance at Jimmy Fallon (x) that ended with the members skating around on roller-skates where at one point the maknaes were together, JK holding Tae’s wrist while Jimin had his hands on Tae’s hips (?). It was a cute and funny moment of them just helping Tae since he can’t skate, but it caused a plethora of negative/awful reactions among those who ship one and the other “main” maknae ship with, in both cases, either Jimin or Tae being on the receiving end of awful accusations, insults, and alike. Then again, to balance out J*k*ok Dynamite content, we can look at the BE-hind Story video where JK and Tae sat together and were seen interacting more, while Jimin interacted more with Yoongi, where Yo*nm*n is also a rather popular ship.

Perhaps it sounds mean or calculated or like I’m badmouthing other ships as just “tools”, but the thing we have to keep in mind is that every piece of content is planned in a certain manner (BTS are seven people after all so you can’t just tell them to do something and hope it’ll just magically work out somehow), is filmed by a giant crew of staff from stylists to PDs and lighting crews, and while there are certainly also genuine interactions between the members, simply because they enjoy spending together and interacting, being close and have no issue touching each other etc, many of these things are not really anything that would really count as “intimate” moments due to the nature of the content itself. But shippers oftentimes ignore that in favor of enjoying whatever content of their ship they are given, which makes sense, as vminnies and namjinists we do too, but we also know that BH certainly has a hand in what is and isn’t shown, and the way in which it is shown.

Look at the trailer for Memories of 2019 and the famous J*k*ok moment that was front and center. From a marketing standpoint it was a genius move since it made sure that shippers would go and buy the DVD regardless of its price. Look at what we’ve gotten for Winter Package 2021 so far, J*k*ok being playful in the trailer, T*ek*ok squished together in the picture on IG, and J*k*ok next to each other, along with Seokjin, in the preview pictures on Weverse. Of course, there was also a picture of Yoongi and Hoseok together (a popular ship) as well as Namjoon with Yoongi and Namjoon with Tae (far less popular), but those three aren’t really selling arguments the way the major maknae ships are. Even vmin isn’t, seeing as the vmin community is much, much smaller than the other two maknae ships, and also vmin moments are often times written off as ‘friends’ interacting anyway and thus not taken seriously (or being paid attention to), if you know what I mean.

(Admin 1: I, for one, would really love to own the 5th Muster DVD because I love the concert itself but also because the famous vmin dancing together to Spring Day sequence is immortalized in picture form in the photobook, so I’m not innocent or “different” in any way since I fall for this marketing stuff just as much as everyone else.)

But on the other hand, there’s also content that isn’t as controlled by BH as pre-recorded and edited videos or DVD’s, as in their vlives or live content, like the BE/LGO release day vlive in pajamas where, sure, the members were given a general plan of what they’ll be doing and a timeframe for it, but certain things seemed more spur-of-the-moment and unplanned, like the vmin lipstick moment (Tae putting on the lipstick was planned, but the final executions likely wasn’t) and the way the other members reacted to it. Or things they do at concerts, which some of it is surely also rehearsed and planned, we saw Hoseok ask JK if he’d do a heart with him at some point during one of the concerts, as example, or Tae and Seokjin planning their typical moment that happened at every concert, but other ones are more in the moment and not controlled.

When it comes to concert DVDs, that is again a different story seeing as a camera can only show as much at a time, so the editors are presented all the footage from the concert and then decide which to show and which not. So, if we see an interaction between JK and Hoseok, for example, at the same time somewhere else Namjoon might be dancing with Seokjin or vmin could be doing something, but we’d simply never know since they can’t show us everything.

That, in a way, is also the case with actual concerts where there’s a difference, somewhat, between concerts that get filmed for DVDs or streamed online, and those that are not. Something that comes to mind would be a vmin moment during Best of Me in Busan on the day that didn’t get filmed where they skipped the first half of the choreography and vmin stood together, half of that sequence being just visible in the background while JK is the primary focus of the cameras that are shown on the side screens, and this whole thing only happened this one time and never again. (x) That’s a moment that, in my opinion, isn’t planned, or other similar moments where vmin change the choreographies (even if just a little) to do something together, like during Spring Day during WINGS Tour Final where Jimin adjusted his solo moment so that he ended up in front of Tae. (x)

There’s also this whole mythos I’ve heard/read about a lot about how supposedly at some of the not filmed Japanese concerts (where I’m not sure if people mean LY:SY or just LY) had some crazy moments between the members (in the sense of “ship” moments and alike) BUT I couldn’t find any proof of that, so if someone perhaps knows anything about this, let me know.

Finally, there’s also things like Bon Voyage and In the SOOP which, you’d expect that they would be less edited and less controlled, but even here a selection takes place of which scenes are shown and which are not. Something I find interesting is how the first half of In the SOOP feels very different to how the second half does when they return to the house after being gone for a few days. In the first half vmin (as well as namjin) seemed to “satellite” around each other and interact much more, playing ping pong or doing things together in some shape or form, but in the second half that was (nearly) completely gone and neither interacted much with each other, if at all. We even had Jimin who outright refused to join Tae and Hoseok on their car adventure, or we saw Seokjin wake up Namjoon to go jogging yet never got to see said jogging happening (if it did happen, that is).

So, to sum all of this up: Yes, BH definitely monitors and guides the way certain things are and aren’t shown in order to achieve certain things or avoid certain reactions, though it’s a complex balancing act and doesn’t always work out. There are things that are unplanned and not controlled, of course, but there’s also a fair amount of marketing play involved. 

After all BTS aren’t rookies anymore, instead they are giant household names and their actions and words move people, move money, and on top of that they are still idols, and part of what it means to be an idol is differentiating between your idol appearance/persona (so what we see in screen) and your personal private life, which is usually kept as secret as only possible. How much they themselves choose to share of their real selves and real feelings toward each other is up to them (as well as up to BH and how much they “allow” them to/don’t edit out). But that, too, is a whole other discussion for another time.

[pedanticat]

Five Things I want in a new Sonic Cartoon

When it comes to animated series featuring Sonic, it has been hit or miss. There have been series that are loved, series that are hated and series that are very divisive among the fanbase for a number of reasons. However, while I did grow up watching Sonic X, I truly grew to love the Sonic franchise when I discovered the Archie Sonic comics about six years ago. While I haven’t read every single issue of the series, the majority of what I read shaped the way of how I viewed the franchise and its characters with me using the comics as an example for how I believed  the characters and the game series should be handled. A series about compelling heroes and villains with layers them instead of them being them base selves, thrill-seeking, hair raising stakes and more. Now that’s not to say I don’t mind the series being goofy, after all, I really enjoyed the Sonic Boom comics and to a lesser extent the tv show, but I just have a view over how things involving the characters and franchise as a whole should be handled, especially in an animated series. So, in no particular order, these are the five things I would want in a new Sonic animated series!

Number Five: Evil Eggman

Ever since Sonic X, animated series of Sonic have opted for Eggman having a frenemy relationship with Sonic instead of the two being bitter enemies. While I do know they are Eggman fans who hate this more friendly version of Eggman, I don’t mind it too much since it does allow for some fun interactions between Eggman and Sonic, especially in Sonic Boom. However, I find evil versions of Eggman such as his Archie and IDW counterparts to be more enjoyable since underneath his goofy nature, he’s a monster who takes great joy in causing mayhem and misery. Not beating Sonic and his friends in a soccer game misery. I’m talking about putting chips into organic soldiers’ brains that will explode if they disobey him and turning people into robot zombies’ level of misery! Eggman isn’t a good guy nor does he have any good qualities. He’s a sadistic genius who shows no remorse and commits horrible atrocities with a smile on his face and that is what makes him both a great character and villain. Even when he has to team up with Sonic and the gang, he’s just waiting for the first moment to betray them. This version of Eggman comes off as a legitimate threat and can be downright scary due to how sadistic he is with him providing an actual challenge for Sonic and his friends. I don’t know why they’ve opted to make Eggman more of a joke in the last two shows and not make him an actual threat, but I would like to have a series with a sadistic and threatening version of the mad doctor.

Number Four: Action-oriented half-hour series

Now while I don’t have anything against 11-minute episode segments, the Sonic series as a whole is all about adventure and action and I think the nature of the series is what makes it perfect for a half hour series. Heck, even Sega must realize that considering how half of the Sonic cartoons are half hour shows. Furthermore, I want it to be like Sonic X and SatAM in which there’s an overarching storyline with twists and turns as all the episodes actually lead up to somewhere. I know there’s already a bunch of those kinds of shows currently airing, which you can expect me to talk about in another video, but Sonic really lends itself to that kind of storytelling because of the kind of series it is. It would also allow to give more character’s times to shine, explore the world and keep viewers engage since they would want to see what happens next in the show.

Number Three: Utilizing Sonic Characters

The Sonic franchise have a very large roster of characters with the roster only growing as the years have gone on. However, there are many characters from the games who have never made an animated debut which I think is a huge shame. Sure, a lot of them have been better utilized in the comics such as the Hooligans, Blaze and Silver, but I think having them be a part of an animated series would provide many interesting story possibilities along with fun interactions and getting more exposure. For instance, Eggman isn’t the only villain from the Sonic series yet he’s the only villain from the games that have ever been used in the Sonic cartoons. Now while I don’t have anything against new original villains being made for the shows, I think that a new Sonic series should use other villains from the franchise such as the Hooligans and the Babylon Rouges since it would serve as a nice change of pace of always having Eggman be the antagonist while also giving underutilize characters time in the spotlight. It certainly would have made more sense for Sonic speed rival who rode a hoverboard in season 2 of Boom to be Jet the Hawk instead of making a discount version of the character. 

I’ve also read many stories involving the Hooligans and I found them be an enjoyable gang of villains due to their dynamic. So I would honestly love to see them make the jump from the games to an animated series. Fun fact, originally, I thought they were characters exclusive to the comics until I learned years later that they actually originate from the games. So yeah, characters like the Hooligans really do need to be used more since the fact that I didn’t even know they originated from the games demonstrates how poorly Sega treats a lot of their character. Furthermore, having those characters along with others like Silver, Blaze and Marine, yes I like Marine, sue me, appearing in an animated series would allow for them to be fleshed out more and given more character since nothing of note have been done with them in the games for years.

Number Two: Exploring Sonic World

Despite many games taking place on Sonic world, very little is actually known about it and Sega don’t seem to have any interest in properly exploring it any of the games. They’ll flesh out more of the human world then they will with Mobius. Yes, I know it’s not officially called Mobius, but I rather I call it that instead of saying Sonic World all the time. The only times Mobius have actually been fleshed out are in SatAM, Underground, and the Archie Sonic comics. I think it would be a nice change of pace to actually explore Mobius in an animated series with viewers actually getting to know about the culture and lifestyle of the planet, all the different types of Mobians that reside on it and just make the overall world of Sonic feel more alive and lived in. I want to have that kind of world in a Sonic series instead of the characters traveling to our world or having them stay on a primary spot in the world and constantly reuse the same locations over and over again.  

Number One: Proper Characterization

If there’s one thing every Sonic fan can agree on, it’s that they hate it whenever a character they love is written very poorly. Now this is a bit tricky since everyone does have a personal preference for how a character, they love should but the best way to avoid that is to not flanderize the characters and have them act in a way that makes sense with the character. Like Amy having a crush on Sonic is fine and that trait has provided many funny moments in the comics and shows. However, if Amy is Sonic crazy like she was in Sonic X, that may end up annoying a lot of fans. Likewise, despite taking place in an alternate universe, Knuckles was made into a total idiot in the Boom series which many people hated since while Knuckles may not be the smartest guy in the series, he’s not an idiot. For me, I just want the characters to actually be recognizable for who they are with them being written in a way that makes sense for their characters while even adding layers to their character that aren’t often explored.

[trickandmxgic]

RULES:  List at least five tropes applicable to your character, then tag others to do the same.(Tropes Wiki)  REPOST! DO NOT REBLOG.

Tagged by: MYSELF i mean ive done it on all my other blogs so Tagging: u sure y not

Magnificent Bastard: If there was ever a character that deserved to be called “Magnificent”, that character is the Magnificent Bastard. The Magnificent Bastard is what happens when you combine The Chessmaster, The Trickster, and the Manipulative Bastard: bold, charismatic, independent, audacious and genius. Capturing the audience with their charisma, incredible intellect, mastery of manipulation, and boldness of action, this character is a show-stealer, demanding your reverence at every turn.  While usually an antagonist, especially if they’re the Big Bad, the Magnificent Bastard can be aligned on either side of a conflict. Hell, they’re so amazing they tend to forgo the idea of good and evil altogether, instead following their own agenda, choosing to help whichever side will further their goals. However, it’s true that their penchant for manipulation at the expense of others means it’s common for them to be a Villain, Villain Protagonist, or at least an Anti-Hero, but purely heroic examples exist. Either way, they’re usually in charge of whatever organization they’re involved with, or might as well be.

“ Outsmarts everyone and looks stylish while doing it. “

The Strategist: A character whose primary job is to think up intricate and ingenious ways to defeat the enemy. The Strategist is often in a supporting role, but may be the hero as well. In a supporting role, the Strategist is basically The Smart Guy on turbo, although he or she will—as a general rule—be less likely to physically partake in any of the plans they think up. The Strategist might come across as an unmitigated disaster, should the heroes come to rely on his or her advice too much. The Strategist may also take center stage. As a hero, The Strategist’s clever tactical tricks drive the story. A main character Strategist will face overwhelming odds, again and again. The enemy may have difficulty believing The Strategist can possibly win, but by bending the rules a little, dusting off their knowledge of military history, and maybe pulling a few dirty tricks, The Strategist comes out on top, or at least alive.

“It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted with the evils of war that can thoroughly understand the profitable way of carrying it on.”

Reality Warper: Ever heard of the Superpower Lottery? Well, kid, you just won the grand prize. You know those pesky laws of physics? Or that annoying thing called causality? Einstein's theory of relativity? Quantum physics? You can laugh and say, "screw you" to them now. Reality is officially out to lunch, and you've picked the restaurant and menu it gets to "choose". This means you can create things out of nothing, change already existing things, erase things from existence, and generally force reality to obey your will just by thinking about it. The key issue here is how far one can take this, and in Guo Jia’s case, he can take it far, but not too crazily far. With his transfiguration magic, his mastery over it, Guo Jia can bend matter and energy pretty much to his will-- he can take hold of the matter around him in it’s various forms, turn it into energy, and then turn that energy into  just about anything he wants, assuming the object or item he has in mind is something he’s seen in person at least once. This can allow Guo Jia to do some pretty wild things, but he is unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for everyone else) limited by his illness, meaning that his magic will take too far a toll on him and kill him before he’s able to do anything truly crazy like tearing the time-space continuum apart or something on that scale. Using any of his magic too much stands a chance of making him seriously ill or killing him, actually, but his transfiguration magic especially. So sure he’s dangerous, very dangerous, but not on any crazy cosmic level, not on his own.

"Can change the way the world is put together.“

The Hedonist: This character is strongly motivated by a desire to be happy and experience various kinds of pleasure. They seldom consider or care for the long term effects their actions may have on them, let alone the short term effects they may bring upon others. Guo Jia’s lack of consideration for his long term well being and the effects his actions have on others when it comes to seeking his various pleasures (flirting, drinking, partying, warfare, etc) come from the knowledge that he will probably die young, and therefore the ‘here and now’ is all that is important. He has to enjoy every day like it could be his last, because it very well could be.

“ Someone motivated by desires for sensual pleasures.”

Number Two: Throughout all his timelines, Guo Jia inevitably ends up as the right hand man to whoever it is he is working for or serves, simply by way of how useful he is, how effective his advice and strategies can be, and how unflinchingly loyal he can be. Guo Jia’s dynamic with Cao Cao in his original timeline is a good example of this, where Cao Cao came to consult Guo Jia first on everything, and as a result, ended up conquering northern China against odd’s that would have otherwise seemed impossible. Cao Cao had many, many talented individuals in their employ of course, some who excelled past Guo Jia in certain areas, but even so Guo Jia literally became the most instrumental person Cao Cao had in his ranks. (if he’s serving a more boss Guo Jia probably becomes more akin to The Dragon, but same thing just about just different alignments lmao).

“ The Leader's right-hand man or second-in-command. ”

Incurable Cough of Death: A cough that is usually accompanied by nasty amounts of blood from the mouth, that may also involve collapsing. The character afflicted with this ailment will probably try to hide it and will usually succeed until they actually pass out and/or die. Thematically, the unnamed disease tends to act like pneumonia or tuberculosis, even in futuristic settings where those real diseases might be cured. Other times it’s a hyped up version of unfortunately very real symptoms of chronically overworked people. For Guo Jia, its not an actual sickness as much as it is an incompatibility between his soul and body, but it functions like an illness and he, and just about everyone else, believes it to be one. It causes him to get very sick, cough up blood, etc-- illness-like enough for this trope.

“Who coughs, dies.”

Honorable mentions:  Alchemy Is Magic, Awesomeness by Analysis, The Alcoholic, Heroic Sacrifice, Improbable Weapon User, Divine Parentage, Anti Magic, Sadistic Choice, Glass Cannon, Meaningful Name, Undying Loyalty, Necessarily Evil

[williamlwolf89]

57 Metaphor Examples That’ll Pack Your Prose With Persuasion

Aristotle once wrote, “to be a master of metaphor is a sign of genius.”

And the best way to master the metaphor? Devour lots of good metaphor examples!

So, we’ve compiled a giant list of metaphors from content marketing, literature, famous speeches, and pop culture to give you a go-to resource. You’ll also learn:

How metaphors and figurative language are related;

The differences between metaphors and similes, analogies, and hyperbole;

What are the six common types of metaphors;

Tips for effectively using metaphors in your own writing.

In short, by the time you finish this post, you’ll be a certified metaphor genius.

But before we get to all that, let’s answer the questions people ask most often about metaphors. We’ll start with a metaphor definition…

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What is a Metaphor?

A metaphor (from the Latin metaphora) takes an object or action and compares it to something blindingly familiar, but completed unrelated.

The comparison in a metaphor is always non-literal, which makes it weirdly illogical. And yet, its meaning is (usually) abundantly clear.

For example:

“Love is a fruit in season at all times and in reach of every hand.” — Mother Teresa

Love is not a fruit; however, the meaning of the comparison is easily understood.

Here’s another example:

“She was the black sheep of the family.”

Illogical, right? But you get the meaning right away.

Okay, so that’s the definition of metaphor…

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What is Figurative Language?

Figurative language is a technique that supercharges your reader’s imagination by taking a flat (or factual) statement and injecting it with life, color, or humor to make it more interesting.

It allows you to paint vivid pictures, punch home your meaning, and be more persuasive as a writer.

A metaphor is one of several figure-of-speech devices that uses figurative language.

Here’s an example:

“The first rays of sunshine gently stroked my face.”

We all know sunshine can’t literally stroke your face, but we can all relate to the sensation. The figurative language makes it more vibrant than something like, “the first rays of sunshine woke me up.”

This type of figurative language is known as “personification,” which uses human qualities (stroking) to better illustrate a non-human action or thing (the sunshine). It’s a technique often found in metaphors.

There are several other figures of speech that use figurative language, including similes, analogies, metonymy, and hyperbole — which are often confused with metaphors.

So, let’s clear that up for you…

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What’s the Difference Between Metaphors and Similes, Analogies, or Hyperbole?

Similes

Simile Definition: A simile is the metaphor’s first cousin. Where a metaphor states that something is something else, a simile compares two different things by using “like” or “as.”

Example of Simile: “Elderly American ladies leaning on their canes listed toward me like towers of Pisa.” — from ‘Lolita’ by Vladimir Nabokov

Difference Between Similes and Metaphors: A simile directly compares two things using “like” or “as” (“he was mad as hell”), while a metaphor implicitly states a comparison, without intending it to be taken literally (“he was boiling mad”).

To the latter example: Obviously, he wasn’t boiling, or he’d be dead. But were he a kettle, his lid would be rattling and steam would be coming from his ears. That’s how mad he’d be!

Analogies

Analogy Definition: An analogy is a turbo-powered simile. While a simile compares two different things, an analogy explains the similarities or relationships between two different things.

Example of Analogy: “Longbottom, if brains were gold, you’d be poorer than Weasley, and that’s saying something.” — from ‘Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone’ by J.K. Rowling

Difference Between Analogies and Metaphors: While a metaphor uses words or phrases to represent an idea, an analogy uses narrative or comparisons to explain the idea. 

Hyperbole

Hyperbole Definition: Hyperbole is an exaggeration that is not intended to be taken literally. It’s most commonly used for emphasis, humor, or drama.

Example of Hyperbole: “I was helpless. I did not know what in the world to do. I was quaking from head to foot, and could have hung my hat on my eyes, they stuck out so far.” — from “Old Times on the Mississippi” by Mark Twain

Difference Between Hyperbole and Metaphors: There is a gray area between the two and it’s often debated. But here are the facts: Hyperbole always uses exaggeration, whereas metaphors sometimes do.

If a metaphor is clearly an exaggeration, it can be described as a hyperbolic metaphor. An example would be, “cry me a river.” Obviously, no one can possibly shed that many tears. On the other hand, “your suitcase weighs a ton” is hyperbole (not a metaphor). 

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What are The Different Types of Metaphors?

Common Metaphors (aka Direct Metaphors, Primary Metaphors, or Conventional Metaphors)

Implied Metaphors

Extended Metaphors (aka Sustained Metaphors)

Dead Metaphors

Mixed Metaphors

Sensory Metaphors

Google “types of metaphors” and you’ll get hundreds of blog posts and scholarly articles with lists of metaphors ranging from 3 to 20+ different types.

Our take?

Focus on the 6 most common types of metaphors:

1. Common Metaphors (aka Direct Metaphors, Primary Metaphors, or Conventional Metaphors)

These are the easiest-to-spot metaphors.

Common metaphors are comparisons where the link can be easily made and directly understood. Example sentence:

“He was a fish out of water at his new school.”

We know immediately what the writer means, even though it’s illogical to compare a school student to a fish.

Vincent Van Gogh’s “conscience is a man’s compass” is another example. Illogical, but we understand the meaning.

Other examples of common metaphors are “night owl”, “cold feet”, “beat a dead horse”, “early bird”, “couch potato”, “eyes were fireflies”, “apple of my eye”, “heart of stone”, “heart of a lion”, “roller coaster of emotions”, and “heart of gold.”

2. Implied Metaphors

Implied metaphors force you to use your imagination. This kind of metaphor doesn’t make a direct comparison, which is easy to spot. Instead, it implies it.

“She was a dog with a bone” is a common metaphor. The dog-like comparison is stated.

“She tucked her tail between her legs and rang away,” on the other hand, is an implied metaphor — the comparison to a dog is implied, but not stated outright.

3. Extended Metaphors (aka Sustained Metaphors)

Extended metaphors can be direct or implied, but create a greater emphasis with the comparison they’re making thanks to their extended length. They can continue for several sentences, several paragraphs, or even longer. (For example, George Orwell’s novella Animal Farm is considered by many to be an extended metaphor.)

Extended metaphors are often used in poetry and literature where the author wants to convey more passion and commitment to a concept.

Here’s an example from “I Know Why the Cage Bird Sings” by Maya Angelou:

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage

Can seldom see through his bars of rage

His wings are clipped and his feet are tied

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill

And his tune is heard on the distant hill for

The caged bird sings of freedom.

And here’s an extended metaphor from “Hope is the Thing With Feathers” by Emily Dickinson:

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings the tune without the words

And never stops at all.

4. Dead Metaphors

Dead metaphors are figures of speech that have been around so long or have been so overused, they have lost their effectiveness.

Phrases like “it’s raining cats and dogs”, “melting pot”, and “you are the light of my life” have morphed from metaphors into trite banalities and should be avoided.

5. Mixed Metaphors

Mixed metaphors are when two or more inconsistent metaphors get jumbled together — often with humorous consequences.

If it’s used intentionally, a mixed metaphor can be an effective communication technique. But in the wrong hands, a mixed metaphor can become a jumbled mess.

Former British soccer manager, Stuart Pearce, gave us this gem:

“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.”

6. Sensory Metaphors

Sensory metaphors use figurative language to appeal to our senses — sight, sound, smell, taste or touch. As such, they’re immediately familiar and evocative.

Examples:

“His voice was silky smooth.”

“Her smile lit up the room.”

Further Reading: 581 Sensory Words to Take Your Writing from Bland to Brilliant is the definitive guide on sensory words, sensory details, and sensory language. If you would like a huge list of sensory metaphors, it should be your go-to resource.

Up to this point, you’ve already seen quite a few metaphor examples as we’ve explained the different types of metaphors and gone over several definitions.

Now, let’s get to the meat of the post. Here are 41 examples of metaphors from content marketing, literature, great poems, speeches, movies, television shows, songs, and more:

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Metaphor Examples from Content Marketing

As a content marketer, you fight a constant battle for attention. You need your words to leap off the page and galvanize your readers into action.

Using metaphors is a great way to do that. Especially if you weave the metaphorical theme through your post. It helps give your writing a more intriguing creative tone. It makes your message sticky and memorable.

Take these examples of metaphors from some of the internet’s best content marketing blogs:

1.

Want to bring your ideas to life, to make them take up residence in the reader’s mind, lurking in the background, tugging, pulling, and cajoling their emotions until they think and feel exactly as you want?

Jon Morrow, 801+ Power Words That Pack a Punch and Convert like Crazy

2.

The content landscape isn’t some mythical blue ocean lacking in competition. It’s a teeming jungle — with plenty to eat, and plenty that wants to eat you. Sonia Simone

3.

Smarter companies think of tone of voice guidelines as bumpers on a bowling lane: They gently guide your communication in the right direction and help content creators avoid a gutter ball.

Ann Handley, How to Find Your Company's Brand Voice

4.

All the best consumer brands get it. But for too many B2B brands, voice is the confectioner’s sugar of the marketing cake — something you sprinkle on at the end (if it’s in the recipe at all). Doug Kessler

5.

Carefully crafted, purposeful content is ace at just that: generating REAL traffic and leads. It’s no wonder people are climbing aboard the content train. Now that you’re buckled in, the next step is understanding what a professional content writer adds to your marketing strategy.

Julia McCoy, How to Hire for Superstar Content

6.

If my business was a garden, then my blog posts would be a colorful display of flowers. Lavender, bougainvillea, fuchsias. Mostly in my favorite color (purple of course!). You can walk around this garden and enjoy my flowers. It’s free. Henneke Duistermaat

7.

And this is what exasperates me about the ‘blogging and social media for money’ superhighway. So many times I follow the yellow brick road laid by an enterprising blogger who’s working the system. . .and when I get there and pull back the curtain…nothing. No wizard. No magic. And no message. Just a lot of mechanics and whirling buttons and a robotic, soulless special effects machine.

Kelly Diels, Why Blogging is Like The Wizard of Oz...

8.

In large organizations, content is like a continual series of trains. Each must leave the crowded station on time to make room for the next one or the network quickly grinds to a halt. . . Unsurprisingly, the content may fail to perform. You can see why many pieces of content fail to meet scheduled departure times. Call it death by track changes. Rusty Weston

All these metaphor examples paint a vivid picture you can see, hear, or even taste. Some of them contain both metaphors and similes, some are extended metaphors, and some are sensory metaphors. But none of them are dead metaphors.

Good metaphors are powerful even when you’re tackling a relatively mundane subject matter, like hiring content writers.

So, imagine how exciting metaphors can be in the hands of great fiction and literary writers whose subject matter can roam anywhere they darn well please.

Let’s look at a few such examples…

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Examples of Metaphors in Literature

Metaphors in literature have been around for centuries.

They have cemented glorious stories and ideas into our minds. They have made the words on the page come alive and frolic through our imagination.

Let’s start with the king of literary terms and metaphors:

9.

All the world’s a stage / And all the men and women merely players / They have their exits and their entrances / And one man in his time plays many parts / His act being seven ages. from 'As You Like It'

Hands up who doesn’t know these famous lines by William Shakespeare?

You’ll find them in every post and article about metaphors, literary devices, or figurative language, because it’s a classic extended metaphor example that’s hard to beat.

Here’s another one:

10.

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / It is the East and Juliet is the sun! / Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon / Who is already sick and pale with grief / That thou her maid art far more fair than she.

from 'Romeo and Juliet'

“Romeo and Juliet” is chock full of love metaphors. Nothing less than the fair sun and envious moon could express the depth of Romeo’s emotional state at that moment. Imagine if he had been factual and said, “What light through yonder window breaks? Oh look, it’s Juliet heading for the bathroom”.

Shakespeare’s magnificent metaphors have wormed their way into our modern language and today we can recite them without a second thought.

Like these examples:

“A horse, a horse. My kingdom for a horse!” — from Richard III

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” — from Sonnet 18

“Parting is such sweet sorrow…” — from Romeo and Juliet

“All that glitters is not gold…” — from The Merchant of Venice

“Why, then, the world’s mine oyster…” — from The Merry Wives of Windsor

I bet you didn’t know that last one was by Shakespeare.

Metaphors are also used throughout the Bible:

16.

I am the good shepherd … and I lay down My life for the sheep.

John 10:14

In fact, the Bible is a hotbed of metaphors, similes, and other types of figurative language:

“I am the way, the truth and the life.” — John 14:6

“You are the Father, we are the clay and You our potter; and all of us are the work of Your hand.” — Isaiah 64:8

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.” — John 6:35

We can find great metaphor examples in recent works of literature too:

20.

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces. from 'Kill the Dead' by Richard Kadrey

That’s a formidable metaphor. This one’s a little sweeter:

21.

You’re a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.

from ‘One for the Money’ by Janet Evanovich

And this one pulls no punches:

22.

The parents looked upon Matilda in particular as nothing more than a scab. A scab is something you have to put up with until the time comes when you pick it off and flick it away. from ‘Matilda’ by Roald Dahl

Ouch! Poor Matilda.

Or how about metaphors in poetry? Here’s an extract from a poem written when the author thought she might be pregnant:

23.

This loaf’s big with its yeasty rising / Money’s new-minted in this fat purse / I’m a means, a stage, a cow in calf / I’ve eaten a bag of green apples / Boarded the train there’s no getting off.

from 'Metaphors' by Sylvia Plath

Yikes! Can’t you feel Sylvia’s swollen discomfort? Perhaps it was just as well she turned out not to be pregnant after all.

One more:

24.

Our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind. from ‘Sand & Foam’ by Khalil Gibran

This one sentence manages to fit in two different comparisons, words/crumbs and feast/mind. Impressive.

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Metaphor Examples from Famous Speeches

Famous metaphors are found in great speeches throughout history.

Notable statesmen and leaders know they need to capture the hearts and minds of their audience and nothing does that better than a slam dunk metaphor. Like these:

25.

Hitler knows that he will have to break us in these islands or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be freed, and the life for the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. Winston Churchill’s 'Finest Hour' speech in June 1940

26.

America has tossed its cap over the wall of space.

John F. Kennedy at the Dedication of the Aerospace Medical Health Center in San Antonio, Texas, in 1963

27.

In the dark days and darker nights when England stood alone — and most men save Englishmen despaired of England’s life — he mobilized the English language and sent it into battle. JFK referring to Winston Churchill

28.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

Martin Luther King’s 'I Have a Dream Speech' in 1963

29.

With this pledge taken, I assume unhesitatingly the leadership of this great army of our people dedicated to a disciplined attack upon our common problems. Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Inaugural Address in 1933

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Examples of Metaphors from Pop Culture

Metaphors don’t always have to be profound or literary. In the hands of song, TV, and movie writers; metaphors are often light, whimsical, and funny (or sad).

But, they’re always entertaining.

Songwriters turn to metaphors because it allows them to be more creative, expressive, and raw with their lyrics. Metaphors in songs are designed to be felt.

Take these lyrics:

30.

Fire away, fire away / You shoot me down, but I won’t fall / I am titanium

David Guetta

31.

We are young / Heartache to heartache we stand / No promises / No demands / Love is a battlefield Pat Benatar

32.

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog / Quit snoopin’ ’round my door

Elvis Presley

33.

Her heart’s as soft as feathers / Still she weathers stormy skies / And she’s a sparrow when she’s broken / But she’s an eagle when she flies Dolly Parton

34.

‘Cause, baby, you‘re a firework / Come on, show ’em what you‘re worth / Make them go oh, oh, oh / As you shoot across the sky

Katy Perry

35.

And if you want love / We’ll make it / Swim in a deep sea / Of blankets / Take all your big plans / And break ’em / This is bound to be a while / Your body is a wonderland John Mayer

In TV and movies, metaphors are often used as a device to handle taboo subjects such as sex or bodily parts. If you dress them up in comedic banter, it makes them more acceptable (and even funny).

The TV show Seinfeld was masterful at this:

36.

Jerry, it’s L.A.! Nobody leaves. She’s a seductress, she’s a siren, she’s a virgin, she’s a who-oooore.

Cosmo Kramer

37.

I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house! Kramer (on his preference for Jockey shorts)

38.

Just when I think you’re the shallowest man I’ve ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.

Elaine (to Jerry)

And next time you go to the movies, watch out for an entire metaphorical theme lurking behind the scenes:

39.

Truman is a metaphor for conquering fears, perseverance, and not accepting the reality with which we’re presented. Some also claim there are controlling government and antichrist themes played out through the reality show’s creator, Christof. — The Truman Show

40.

On the surface, it’s about a bickering couple who discover they are spies for rival agencies. But it’s actually a metaphor for the sanctity of marriage, meaningful communication, and learning to be vulnerable. — Mr. and Mrs. Smith

41.

Phil Connors (portrayed by Bill Murray) is stuck in a time warp. He relives the same day over and over until he changes into a better person. The metaphor is one of self-discovery and improvement, which many say are rooted in Buddhist philosophies. — Groundhog Day

Now that we’ve looked at numerous metaphor examples, let’s go over some practical tips that’ll help you use metaphors in your own writing.

Back to Top

How to Use Metaphors to Supercharge Your Writing

Use Metaphors in Your Headlines

Make an Entire Post or Article Metaphorically Themed

Use Metaphors to Make Facts and Figures Come to Life

Be Sure to Use Metaphors Relevant to Your Audience

Use of Metaphors to Make Dull Ideas Sparkle

Metaphors Don’t Have to Be Written (Or, Get Creative With Metaphorical Images)

Avoid the Cliches and Don’t Overdo Your Metaphor Quota

1. Use Metaphors in Your Headlines

We all know that headlines are the most important part of your post. If your headline doesn’t grab your reader’s attention, the rest of your post will be dead in the water.

So, what better place to slip in a nifty metaphor than in your headline? Like so:

Toy Story 4 is a Salute to Parents of Grown Children — from Nature Moms

Win the War on Debt: 80 Ways to be Frugal and Save Money — from Art of Manliness

How Decision Fatigue Steals Your Productivity (And How to Win it Back) — from Evernote

2. Make an Entire Post or Article Metaphorically Themed

This is a great way to bring a subject to life or make a complex idea more easily understood. Here’s how:

First, take your subject and think of a second concept you could align it to. Let’s say your subject is “how to write a content brief,” which involves a formula and process — a bit like cooking. So, let’s use that as your second concept.

Now start brainstorming words and ideas that can be applied to each concept separately:

Next, look at your two lists and identify words or ideas that might overlap:

“Set of instructions” and “recipes”

“Audience” and “diners”

“Outcomes” and “end result”

“Style/voice” and “secret herbs and spices”

“Outline” and “ingredients”

Can you feel a theme coming on?

Further Reading: 5 Ways Marketers are Rocking the Gig Economy by Jay Baer is a terrific example of how to use a fun metaphorical theme (rock musicians) to jazz up the entire post.

3. Use Metaphors to Make Facts and Figures Come to Life

Data. Facts and Figures. We all know they’re important to substantiate your arguments, but on their own they can be meaningless and, to be honest, downright boring.

If I told you the circumference of the earth was 24,901 miles, you’d probably yawn.

But if I said the circumference of the earth was 801,500 Olympic size swimming pools laid back to back, it paints a much more relatable picture.

Think about the way we teach children how to add and subtract. We say, “if I give you three apples and take away one, how many are you left with?”

We are no different as adults. Our brains process facts and figures more effectively when they are anchored to a relatable or concrete idea.

Note: Their ability to make facts and figures come to life is a big reason why metaphors are often used in academic writing. Writers who offer help with dissertations will use metaphors to spice up overused or hard-to-understand topics.

4. Be Sure to Use Metaphors Relevant to Your Audience

Think about who you are writing for and the context of your subject matter. If your post is aimed at teenage girls, you probably wouldn’t use a war analogy.

On the other hand, writers in the self-improvement niche often use metaphors related to battles as we strive to conquer our demons and make changes in our lives.

Use metaphors that are relevant to the times we live in and changes in our society and culture. Think about the age and generational context of your audience. If they are young, don’t use outdated or old-fashioned metaphors that will leave them cold.

5. Use of Metaphors to Make Dull Ideas Sparkle

Like it or not, there’s probably going to come a time when you find yourself having to write about something dull. (And if you write for clients, there definitely will come a time when you’re bored to tears.)

That’s when metaphors become the writer’s best friend.

Metaphors allow you to hold your audience’s attention by shifting their focus away from the boring bits onto something far more imaginative and creative. Comparing religion, art, and science to branches on a tree, as Albert Einstein once did, is a good example.

Kristina Halvorson does this in her post How to Embrace (and Gently Encourage) the Content Audit.

Let’s face it, a content audit is not the most riveting subject matter, but Kristina manages to bring it to life by comparing audits to clearing up other people’s “icky detritus” after the winter snow has melted.

6. Metaphors Don’t Have to Be Written (Or, Get Creative With Metaphorical Images)

Metaphors don’t have to be limited to text. You can make your point just as powerfully — and faster — with a metaphorical image.

In blogging, no one does metaphorical illustrations better than Henneke Duistermaat and her hand-drawn “Henrietta” cartoons.

We can’t all be talented artists like Henneke, but we can find entertaining or moving images that represent our message.

But…

When you’re searching for the right image on sites like Unsplash and Gratisography, remember not to think of the literal meaning. Think metaphorically.

Let’s say you want to write a post on writer’s block. The obvious image would be something like this:

Photo by Steve Johnson

But that’s too obvious. What we need is a metaphor for writer’s block.

What emotions would you compare to writer’s block? Emptiness, fearfulness, loneliness, frustration, feeling trapped?

Look for images that capture one or more of those feelings. Like this:

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor

Which of those two images is going to attract more attention and add more spice and character to your blog post?

7. Avoid the Cliches and Don’t Overdo Your Metaphor Quota

Finally, here are a few what not to-dos:

Don’t overuse metaphors. Opt for simple metaphors (or sprinkle a few well-placed metaphors for the sake of clarity or persuasion). Too many will weigh your post down and start to sound messy.

Don’t force metaphors into your writing. It’s like overusing adjectives or flowery words. Readers will spot them a mile away.

Avoid the overly obvious or dead metaphors. They tend to be clichéd and have lost their ability to conjure up a visual image. Examples are “going belly up,” “kicking the bucket,” and “you light up my life.”

You Just Read the Definitive List of Metaphor Examples. Ready to Unleash Their Power?

Metaphors are all around us.

They sneak into everyday life and everyday language (“the traffic was a nightmare”). They help us form impressions of people and situations (“he fought cancer and won”).

But most of all — as I hope these examples of metaphors have shown you — they are one of the most powerfully-persuasive devices in a writer’s toolbox.

Metaphors are a zap of electricity between you and your audience — a jolt that’s often the difference between a lackluster sentence and a sparkling gem of persuasive genius.

So, next time you want to compel your readers to take action, savor your words, or quickly grasp your meaning, use a metaphor.

The post 57 Metaphor Examples That’ll Pack Your Prose With Persuasion appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/metaphor-examples/

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It's 2018, and whether you're another out of the holder new business making your first site, or a set up one requiring a re-attempt, there are countless you'll need to consider. Clients and progression have progressed, SEO checks have changed, and new robotized mechanical social affairs have made. Favorable thing we've scoured the net to outfit you with the best 25 site creation articles of 2018 that will help you also as catch new customers and build up your business in the mean time.

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[her-culture]

Performative Action: The College Admissions Scam is Symptom of Image-Driven Illness

[Note to Reader: The author of this article recently finished working a temporary position at Staples High School where she acted as advisor for the school paper, the staff of which includes the students interviewed. It is important for the purposes of journalistic integrity to fully disclose the author’s relationship with these students.]

Olivia Jade Giannulli was a budding social media star, which meant that by today’s standards, she had it all. The doe-eyed spawn of actress Lori Loughlin and fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli parlayed her beauty into brand deals, and her generous bank account (courtesy of her famous parents) afforded her a jet-set, photo-ready lifestyle that incurred envy among the millions of followers she amassed between her YouTube and Instagram platforms. She had seemingly perfected the art of illusion that an “influencer” career often demands—presenting a glossy version of her life and using “likes” as currency.

It seemed almost poetic, then, that someone who specialized in presenting a carefully crafted image to her audience would meet her downfall by the same methods. In the past month, Giannulli has become the face of the recent college admissions scandal, wherein the super wealthy bought their children admission to elite universities. Whether it was by cheating on standardized tests or elaborately faking athletic credentials—or both, in Giannulli’s case—parents with deep pockets found that the coveted Ivy League or Ivy-equivalent bumper sticker was only a price tag away.

But lambasting the wealthy because of what they did to get their kids into college is only focusing on part of the problem. Our image-obsessed culture has afflicted a much larger demographic. With the rise of social media, we have made teenagers hyper-aware of others’ perception, and the idea of “branding yourself” extends to the college application process. Society has placed such high importance on name-brand colleges and, in turn, has nurtured teenagers who do anything for the application just as much as they “do it for the ‘gram.”  In many ways, the Internet and college admissions have become one in the same: we photoshop our lives and present the most appealing version of ourselves in the hopes of acceptance.

“Photoshopping our lives starts way before college,” Poppy Livingstone, a sophomore at Staples High School in Westport, Connecticut said. “But it starts to get unethical when you take opportunities away from people who are less fortunate than you with your photoshopped life.”

Even without photoshopping, Livingstone recognizes that she has privileges most don’t. Staples boasts the title of best public high school in the Connecticut and Westport the ninth wealthiest town in the country. Having grown up in Silicon Valley before moving to the east coast, Livingstone describes both wealthy, achievement-oriented communities as “rich,” “white,” “privileged,” and “competitive,” in that order. With that competition comes extreme pressure to perform.  

“People I know that live [in Silicon Valley], especially my age, a lot of them have some kind of anxiety or depression or a lot of stress in their lives,” Livingstone said. “A lot of them, similar to here, just do a lot of extracurriculars they don't really feel like doing and a lot of them end up going to high-end schools. So I think yeah, the same pressure exists there that exists here.”

Several of the parents involved in the scandal hail from glittery, image-driven areas of California, including Silicon Valley. Livingstone’s mother is even acquaintances with one of the alleged perpetrators. When Livingstone heard about the admissions scandal, she was disturbed on a level that was almost meta.  

“I think that it has imbued in me a deep and never-ending fear that I am also in on this con by doing SAT prep and paying for a college counselor,” Livingstone said. “I mean, am I complicit? It makes me feel super gross. [...] If I’m angry about this, I should probably be angry about myself.”

In affluent Westport, many of the students that I spoke with about the scandal expressed this guilt. But at the same time, SAT prep and college counseling are the bare minimum demanded of applicants, making this exclusive college dream really only a possibility if you have the money to pursue it.

“I think about people who are expected to get into the same colleges I’m expected to get into and how they will not have access to [test prep and tutors],” Livingstone said. “It’s unrealistic for them to get really good [scores] on the SAT, and it’s unrealistic for them to take a billion AP [Advanced Placement] classes if they have to work a job to help support their family, for example. I mean, we’re on a greased slide into college and they’re like trying to skateboard down a staircase with rocks on it.”

Because standardized test results are solely attributed to the test taker (college admissions scandal aside), high scores become shorthand for intelligence. Test takers don’t need to disclose whether they received expensive tutoring, so impressive scores are necessary when aiming to portray inherent genius—and therefore, creating the image of an ideal candidate.

In addition to high test scores and excellent grades in rigorous classes, students should have an incredible essay, ideally attend an elite prep school, display a resume that shows a focused and developed passion, and should have a demonstrable humanitarian streak according to USA Today College.

And hilariously dotted throughout USA Today’s advice about how to get into an Ivy League school—from the mouths of college admissions deans and Ivy professionals—is the key: the student should be genuine. Don’t do this in pursuit of college, we have the audacity to tell our students. Exhaust yourself with rigorous course loads and time-consuming extracurriculars because it feels right.

It’s nice for colleges to peddle the idea that being yourself is all you need to be in order to gain admission, but students aren’t buying it. And the slim admission statistics for elite universities back up their skepticism.

“As soon as you enter high school, it’s not about being in high school and having fun, it’s about how you’re going to get into college,” Staples junior Sophie Casey said. “What clubs you join, what classes you take [...] It’s hard to have genuine feelings that are the primary motivation for doing something.”

Casey began mapping out her path to college in eighth grade. She made a list of the classes she wanted to take, the clubs she was going to join, what level she wanted the classes to be, and which teachers she wanted to ask for recommendations.

“I made a literal four year plan,” Casey said, laughing. “It was neurotic and crazy and depraved.”

“Did you follow it?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “There have been small changes, but I actively continually edit it.”

The plan only shows that Casey has gotten more ambitious. Instead of the original four AP classes she envisioned herself taking, Casey now has 11 between sophomore, junior and senior year.

But the regimented prescription that will help a student get into college—the AP classes, the laundry list of extracurriculars, the off-the-charts scores and the professional tutoring—effectively strangles any chance for students to discover who they truly are during their adolescent years. It discourages them from finding and pursuing their passions because that may involve some degree of failure along the way. And failure is not allowed, as it might potentially derail the perfect achievement streak they need to have in order to compete for admission. Authenticity is the most impossible ask because every other standard demands that students tailor their image to what colleges want to see on paper.

“It’s sad that [students] put so much emphasis on what other people—what colleges—think about [them],” Casey said. “Whenever I’m filling in an application and it’s like ‘what about me’ I don’t know what else to put outside of academic achievements. I don’t know what I am outside of school.”

Casey is not an anomaly, nor should we pretend that prioritizing college in her high school career means that she is somehow doing it “wrong.”  As much as college admissions gatekeepers may request authenticity, their standards demand a very specific brand of teenager. Ideally, elite colleges look for a student with ambition, talent, and preferably money. In exchange, the students will receive access to a network of alumni who will welcome the new generation into the fold and help him or her succeed in the dreaded real world. But the concern for the future isn’t quite in the forefront of students’ minds.

“I feel like it’s more about self-validation and the opportunities that esteemed colleges offer,” Casey said. “Success past the collegiate realm is almost an afterthought because it’s already attached to [the] name.”

But does all that effort to get into an elite college really make a difference long-term? Some say no, that elite bumper sticker prestige ultimately won’t make you happier and that Ivy Leagues specifically have a terrible return on investment. But one banker, who attended an Ivy-equivalent school and agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity, said yes.

“For front end positions [those that are the highest paid] our bank only recruits from a list of maybe twelve schools,” he said. “And those recruits are for region-specific positions.”

A bleak reminder: there are eight Ivies.

In order to secure a job at a large bank, he explained, students are funneled through an employment pipeline. They’re recruited for internships at the undergraduate level and the best interns will be offered a job as an analyst for a select few spots after they graduate the following year if they perform well.

“So it 100 percent matters where you went to undergrad,” he said. “And that’s why you have so much emphasis [placed on the school name], because you have these parents working at these companies that only hire from certain schools.”

“Do you think it’s only a finance career that does that [hires from certain schools]?” I asked.

“No, I think it’s any career that’s good. That’s competitive,” he said.  

The students I spoke with didn’t seem to feel that their parents actively pressured them to go to a specific school. However, they did have internalized pressure that came from growing up in an achievement-driven area. Like the banker, the students tended to equate competition with quality. After all, elite colleges are considered “elite” specifically because the competition for admission is so high.

“What do you think is attached to a person when they say that they’re an alum of an Ivy League school?” I asked Casey.

“There’s definitely...respect but also a lot of envy. And I think, I don’t know if this is true, but I definitely think that people here like to be envied,” she said. “How much of a difference [getting into an elite college] is going to make to you is maybe negligible compared to how it’ll affect others’ perception of you. People define themselves by—or maybe they think that other people define them by—achievement.”

Olivia Jade Giannulli managed to achieve measurable success in the social media realm, a field that is inherently unpredictable and notorious for taking prosperity as quickly as it gives it. Her parents, neither of who went to college themselves, may have believed they were giving her a more stable future through the USC degree they bought for her.

But success without substance isn’t success at all. The banker I spoke with agreed that it’s very hard to fake your way to success in a highly competitive field. Once you enter those competitive colleges, you need to perform at that level or else drown among candidates who will outshine you. His bank weeds out candidates who have coasted on privilege with a 3.3 GPA minimum  requirement (no exceptions) from top universities and tough interview questions that require both industry savvy and classroom study.

“It sorts itself out because if they start their career and they’re not good, they’ll get fired. They’ll be pushed out. That’s part of the sorting process,” he said. “That’s the thing, you can only fake it for so long.”

[gothrapxxx]

Your Beats Are Uninteresting as well as Below's Why Your beats may have the most crazy drum pattern the globe has ever heard, however it's boring after 15 seconds. Is it the audio typefaces? Is it the lack of adjustments in the chord progression and also arrangement? There are a great deal of factors your beats are burning out that you can deal with quickly and also take your game to the next level ... Not a day passes where I do not listen to some non-hip-hop listener claim something stupid like, "Pay attention to this crap. I can make this beat! There's absolutely nothing to it. I should certainly be a millionaire." If you dig into the on-line beat making community for even ten mins you'll realize that a lot of these haters in fact try to come to be manufacturers, together with various other aiming musicians that are followers of the category. Not a lot of them are millionaires or are landing their beats on significant tag records, as well as it's except an absence of attempting. They are shopping their beats almost everywhere in hopes that a person will hear their unassailable ability and "placed them on." The problem is that most of these people simply aren't talented. Their beats downright draw. The exact same factor that made you believe you might replicate and copycat the greats is the same reason you can't. You do not have the ear. You do not discover the nuances. You haven't researched a lick of music theory. And also believe me, everyone can listen to that you're using (a bootleg duplicate of) Fruity Loops. Allow me place it to you candidly: Your Beats Are All Out Boring (Yet We Can Repair That). Remember back when you initially started and also thought "Guy, the pro's beats are so simple. I can do that in a heartbeat." And also you've been pumping out easy beats considering that, since you misinterpreted their easy orchestration for a basic setup. They are doing things with 3 audios that you could not perform with 15, which's why they are selling exclusives for $100,000 a pop as well as you're leasing your tracks off of Soundclick for $1.00 per download. update your game at journal note. Here's just how we're going to fix your trouble throughout this short article, by discussing:. Audio Font styles. Music Concept. Combining & Learning. Orchestration. Plan. Add all of these with each other and also you have an equation that will certainly take you up a level, regardless of where you're currently at. As you check out along, really consider you're very own scenario and think of how to use these tips. They aren't really optional if you want to make significant scrape, so focus. Sound Font styles. Probably, you resemble me when I started. You're young as well as ballin' on a budget plan. And also as all of us know, attempting to buy a piece of software application and afterwards updating the sound font styles can cost a limb. That's why a lot of people are still shaking the exact same versions of Fruity Loops and Cool Edit Pro 2 from the mid-90's that was drifting around. But I'm going to inform you now, that's not going to cut it. Your choices are to either discover just how to use a synthesizer or plugin to create the noises you want (you'll be really limited), or you'll require to start buying as well as collecting sound font styles and examples. If you can play the tricks in any way, any old keyboard is mosting likely to have a midi input/output on it that you can regulate your noises from. This means you might conserve loan as well as score an outboard sound financial institution from one of the killer key-boards around. Have a look at the Yamaha Concept (pictured above), Korg Triton, or Roland Fantom, every one of which were big victors back in my day. Sound Font Styles as well as Test CD's. Every piece of common software program is conveniently differentiated by it's default audio font styles. They are never ever good until you struck the Reasoning Pro or Pro Equipment level. This means you're going to have to purchase some additionals. Depending upon your style, you can get real-deal samples of online instruments, or you can get classic packs like the 808 set, etc. The choices are virtually limitless. My pointer is not to obtain a load. Figure out your design and also go from there, based upon the customers your focusing on. Tightening your emphasis to South, West, East, MidWest, or Dubstep, equally as instances, can considerably increase your opportunity of success. But it likewise keeps you from having 100,000 sound typefaces you can not perhaps arrange through and select from. Get a core collection of sounds you can come to be acquainted with and also go from there. Music Concept. Often individuals break the mold. You have guys like Mr. Sche in Memphis banging out heating systems all the time while sequencing on Fruity Loops as well as still utilizing some default appears, touchdown beats for individuals like 8 Sphere and also Al Kapone. You know why his beats still bang? Because he understands music theory. If anything is mosting likely to set you apart, it's this. Yes, it sucks at first. You'll essentially need to bust out a text publication or read online and also treat it like school. You'll have to examine as well as do homework. However it's an investment right into your organisation so obtain it done. songs concept for beat manufacturers. The important things lacking in every amateur beat manufacturer's tracks is a lack of chord adjustments and song areas. Discuss boring. Changing secrets inadvertently (and half the moment not also having a trick), having tools not balance each other, over-producing in an effort to offset various other lacking areas, and lots of other troubles can all be resolved with a primary understanding of music theory. I'm talking Music Theory 101 levels (terrific book there) that can up your video game in just a week with some quick examining. Read the other Ledger Note write-up I just connected to and you'll observe a prompt change in the quality of your instrumentals. Combining & Learning. Mixing and also mastering are items you'll want to leave to the experts eventually, but recognizing the least amount regarding it can help improve the chances of your beats getting got by artists. Blending. Amateur beats normally sound like a muddy, slurred mess because of the total lack of any blending. They'll have kick drums and also bass lines bleeding right into each other, and also various other instruments clashing right into disaster. The tiniest bit of blending with EQ's, compression, and some panning can repair the majority of these problems, relocating your tracks from insane cacophony to a polished shiny turd. But if you're track is in fact great, some mixing can reveal its real possibility as a work of art. It's not tough and also we've currently put together some blending ideas for you here. Don't neglect this component, its a true make-it-or-break-it aspect, due to the fact that impressions count the most. Mastering. One more concern is understanding. Folks will certainly put a mastering plugin with some default setup on their master out and stop, and after that be confused when somebody hears the track and comments on all the clipping as well as distortion. Don't also attempt to understand your tracks. Simply add compression where required on specific noises as well as enjoy the needles to see if you're peaking anywhere. If you are, simply secure every one of the tracks with each other as well as transform them down with each other to preserve your blending equilibrium. Orchestration. These following two parts, orchestration and also setup, are technically parts of music concept but deserve their very own attention in this article. Both can finish your beat making skills to the following level if done right. orchestration. When you consider the word orchestration, consider a literal orchestra as well as the genius waving his stick around. He's informing particular individuals to play their instruments at specific times based on their seating placement (blending as well as panning). He informs certain ones to stop while others begin, as well as when he actually wishes to blow your mind, he'll bring them all right into the mix simultaneously, but they appear terrific with each other since they are making use of harmony and also off-setting each other's rhythms. You need to be doing the exact same thing with your beats. Your goal is to try and make use of the whole variety of human hearing, from the bass frequencies as much as the sparkly highs. To pull this off, you require to be familiar with the major frequency series of different tools as well as audios. You have actually listened to adequate music to understand exactly how to do this without having the specific Hertz regularities memorized. Use your ears! Primarily, this suggests that you do not want 5 instruments all wrecking along in the bass range. Have a bass, a kick drum a little bit higher in frequency, a snare greater, then human vocals, and after that a number of others a bit higher and also panned around supporting the lead melody. The distinction in top quality and also satisfaction is very obvious once acknowledged. Beginning with a proper selection in instrumentation makes the remainder of your task much easier. Syncopation. We are speaking about rap or R&B generally here, I'm thinking. That means there's a huge emphasis on the drums as well as the pattern in which they thump out their rhythm. The most uninteresting thing you can do is make use of all down defeats. It's the top factor your beats are boring. When you examine songs concept, you'll find out about something you can currently feel, which is solid beats and weak beats. In common time, which is four over 4 or four beats per step, you'll with ease count the vanquish like ... ONE, two, THREE, 4, ONE, two, 3, 4 ... You'll observe, and I have actually laid it out visually above, that the 1 beat is the toughest, followed by the 3 beat. 2 and also four are heard as weak beats. Yet if you move into 8th notes as well as 16th notes, two and also 4 are really felt even stronger. Syncopation can be taken having your drums appealed the weak beats instead of the strong. This makes the audience really feel the weak beats while anticipating the strong, which creates a feeling of driving onward with the track (also known as not being uninteresting). To obtain a sense of this, lay out a loophole where you drop the kick on the 1st beat and after that hit the entrapment on the 2 and also 4 beats. Currently return in, extend your view to 8th or 16th notes, and actively go down kicks anywhere yet the solid beats (1, 2, 3, as well as 4). Currently you're producing hip-hop rather than thumping club-techno, hefty steel, or 80's rock. Sparse or Full. Notice as you listen to different tracks that they generally comply with one of two paths: they are either really sporadic in their instrumentation or they are really full sounding. Something like "Drop It Like It's Warm" by Pharell was thin, where as something like Dr. Dre's "Kush" is very full. Make this decision from the start so that you don't have orchestration concerns. Notification exactly how Dre's option of tool audios don't clash with each other, as a result of them each having actually an assigned frequency variety that don't butt heads. A lot more instances of complete beats were Kanye's very early Midwest style beats. If you choose to go thin, you have to maintain points fascinating by using special audios. Pharell chose to make use of ridiculous mouth sounds mixed with synths to an unusual association. But it functioned. Another technique is to keep your beat and also rhythm the very same, yet change instruments, such as switching out entrapments throughout the carolers or changing kicks midway via a verse. The major trick to making full or sparse beats work involves the complying with area on plan. Setup. By the time you consider setup, you've selected your instrumentation already. So the concern comes to be not which tools to use, yet when to utilize them. You can not simply begin smashing them all at the exact same time or you'll simply have a mess. If they all play, in unison, the same lead melody the vocalist is singing, after that you do not have a song. You require to select what function each tool offers, such as harmonizing the lead tune, sustaining it's rhythm, or generating the hype just in the chorus, etc . Songs is as much concerning space and emptiness as it is loading that space. The ears as well as mind need a chance to "take a breath" as well as refine what it's hearing. That's why much less is extra a lot of the times, and songs that attain a volume are doing it with reverbs and hold-ups extra so than added instruments. Over-flooding a person's senses won't get their interest, it'll just have them transform your tune off, similar to we always mute the TELEVISION throughout loud commercials. Personalized Fills up. Two of the funnest parts of making beats is creating custom fills for completions of sections and after you obtain the vocals back from the rapper or vocalist. In relation to custom loads pre-vocals, proceed as well as loophole your song out with regular rhythms that are foreseeable as well as recurring. This provides the user something to lock into so they can concentrate on the vocals and also verses. With experience you run the risk of being dull for being remarkable, however fortunately it opens up a chance to develop much more intriguing "ear candy" with fills. personalized drum fills. Now that you have your fundamental format expanded with duplicating rhythms that your audience will become acquainted with, you can pick particular minutes in the song (generally transitional minutes) to accentuate with custom loads. The traditional minute is when you're vacating completion of a verse and also right into the chorus. You can decrease in a wonderful entrapment fill that liven up the ears of the listener. It obtains them paying closer attention again as well as signals them that something will take place (in this instance, moving right into the chorus). Now you have passion and experience with each other while keeping shifts from being disconcerting, sudden, and distressing. When you get vocals back, an enjoyable trick is to listen along for any type of unique words, parts of the lyrical message, or off-setting rhythmic parts. You can aid these parts radiate much more by creating custom drum fills beneath them as well as also bringing in (or securing) other instruments to draw more focus to it. Do not exaggerate it or it'll lose it's power and also distress the experience you have actually developed. Dynamic Breathing. Remember earlier when I claimed you have to let a track breathe? Along with tune areas transforming feeling and also tunes switching around, you require to also differ the level of intensity throughout a track. By being a bit creative, you can attain this in lots of different methods. Among my faves is to drop into half-time or dual time drums. It's hardly ever seen in hip-hop but you can even change tempo or time signatures. One of the most helpful for this sort of songs is dropping out and also bringing back different instruments. It can be as easy as quiting high-hats for a section, leaving the bass for an action, or quiting the snare. By going down instruments out, you can preserve familiarity, and afterwards when you reintroduce it the stamina of the initial impact makes it seem new and enhanced. You'll have managed to breathe some fresh air right into a track all by tricking the brain of the audience right into playing catch-up and after that forgeting an instrument. You can do this with any kind of tool during any type of section of the song, yet choose carefully and don't just go willy-nilly erasing portions of tracks. Final thought. Right here's what I suggest. Pick any type of instrumental of yours. Possibly your preferred one, or your weakest one. After that reread this article and also use among the suggestions over to it. Then an additional. Function your method through all of them as well as ultimately make an additional full-bounce of the track, then forget about it. Wait a week and then pay attention to the original variation a few times. Ultimately, pay attention to your brand-new and also boosted version as well as prepare yourself to be blown away at the advancements you'll have made. When you feel you've internalized these new concepts, you'll start applying them to every one of your brand-new beats as well as suddenly discover that you're being gotten in touch with by a growing number of new clients. Your track record will certainly begin climbing up, however do not quit here. This is just a starting factor for every one of the methods you can discover. Keep studying more songs theory and applying your brand-new expertise. If you aren't researching, your competition will be, as well as it's a no amount video game. Either your beats obtain put on the album, or another person's does. Get to function as well as maintain grinding!

[marionvirginia]

Your Beats Are Dull and also Right here’s Why

Your beats might have the most outrageous drum pattern the world has actually ever listened to, but it’s monotonous after 15 seconds. Is it the sound typefaces? Is it the absence of changes in the chord progression as well as arrangement? There are a great deal of factors your beats are burning out that you can take care of promptly and take your game to the next level …

Not a day passes where I don’t listen to some non-hip-hop audience state something dumb like, “Pay attention to this crap. I could make this beat! There’s nothing to it. I should be a millionaire.” If you dig into the online beat making neighborhood for also ten mins you’ll understand that a lot of these haters in fact attempt to end up being producers, in addition to other aiming musicians who are followers of the category. Not a lot of them are millionaires or are landing their beats on major label records, as well as it’s except a lack of attempting. They are shopping their beats anywhere in hopes that someone will hear their indisputable skill and “placed them on.”

The issue is that the majority of these men simply aren’t talented. Their beats downright draw. The same reason that made you think you could emulate as well as copycat the greats coincides factor you can not. You do not have the ear. You don’t notice the subtleties. You have not examined a lick of songs theory. As well as trust me, every person can listen to that you’re utilizing (a bootleg copy of) Fruity Loops. Let me place it to you candidly: Your Beats Are Just Boring (However We Can Fix That).

Bear in mind back when you first started and believed “Man, the pro’s beats are so straightforward. I can do that in a heartbeat.” And you have actually been pumping out easy beats given that, since you mistook their easy orchestration for an easy plan. They are doing things with 3 noises that you could not finish with 15, which’s why they are selling exclusives for $100,000 a pop and you’re leasing your tracks off of Soundclick for $1.00 per download.

update your video game at ledger note.

Right here’s exactly how we’re going to repair your trouble throughout this write-up, by speaking about:.

Audio Fonts. Songs Theory. Mixing & Mastering. Orchestration. Arrangement.

Include all of these together and you have a formula that will certainly take you up a degree, regardless of where you’re already at. As you read along, actually consider you’re own circumstance and think about just how to apply these tips. They aren’t truly optional if you intend to make serious scratch, so take note. Sound Fonts.

Probably, you resemble me when I began. You’re young and ballin’ on a budget. And also as most of us understand, trying to acquire a piece of software program and afterwards updating the sound fonts can set you back a limb. That’s why a lot of individuals are still shaking the exact same versions of Fruity Loops as well as Cool Edit Pro 2 from the mid-90’s that was drifting about. However I’m going to inform you today, that’s not mosting likely to cut it.

Your choices are to either learn exactly how to utilize a synthesizer or plugin to develop the noises you desire (you’ll be really restricted), or you’ll need to begin buying and also accumulating sound font styles and examples. If you can play the keys at all, any old keyboard is going to have a midi input/output on it that you can regulate your sounds from. This means you might conserve loan and also score an outboard sound bank from among the awesome key-boards around. Have a look at the Yamaha Concept (imagined above), Korg Triton, or Roland Fantom, every one of which allowed victors back in my day. Sound Typefaces as well as Taste CD’s.

Every piece of typical software application is quickly identified by it’s default sound fonts. They are never ever good till you struck the Logic Pro or Pro Equipment degree. This implies you’re mosting likely to have to invest in some additionals. Depending on your style, you can obtain real-deal examples of live instruments, or you can buy classic packs like the 808 set, and so on. The alternatives are virtually endless. My recommendation is not to obtain a lot. Figure out your design and also go from there, based upon the clientele your concentrating on. Narrowing your focus to South, West, East, MidWest, or Dubstep, just as examples, can significantly raise your possibility of success. Yet it likewise maintains you from having 100,000 audio fonts you can’t possibly sort with as well as select from. Get a core set of noises you can end up being knowledgeable about and go from there. Songs Theory.

Occasionally individuals break the mold and mildew. You have guys like Mr. Sche in Memphis writing heating systems all the time while sequencing on Fruity Loops and also still utilizing some default sounds, landing beats for guys like 8 Round and Al Kapone. You know why his beats still bang? Because he understands music theory. If anything is mosting likely to set you apart, it’s this. Yes, it draws at first. You’ll actually have to bust out a message book or read online and treat it like school. You’ll need to examine and do homework. But it’s a financial investment into your organisation so get it done.

songs theory for beat makers.

The important point lacking in every amateur beat maker’s tracks is an absence of chord adjustments as well as song areas. Talk about boring. Switching over secrets unintentionally (and half the moment not even having a secret), having instruments not balance each various other, over-producing in an attempt to offset various other lacking locations, as well as lots of various other troubles can all be resolved with a basic understanding of music theory. I’m chatting Songs Concept 101 levels (terrific publication there) that can up your game in as low as a week with some fast examining. Read the various other Journal Note short article I just connected to and also you’ll notice a prompt adjustment in the top quality of your instrumentals.

Combining & Learning.

Mixing as well as understanding are products you’ll intend to leave to the specialists inevitably, yet understanding the tiniest amount concerning it can assist improve the possibilities of your beats obtaining grabbed by artists.

Blending.

Amateur beats normally seem like a muddy, slurred mess due to the full absence of any blending. They’ll have kick drums and also bass lines bleeding right into each other, as well as other tools colliding right into catastrophe. The tiniest little bit of blending with EQ’s, compression, and some panning can take care of a lot of these problems, relocating your tracks from crazy cacophony to a refined glossy turd. Yet if you’re track is actually great, some blending can show its real capacity as a masterpiece. It’s not tough and we’ve currently assembled some mixing suggestions for you here. Don’t overlook this component, its a real make-it-or-break-it aspect, because impressions count the most. Understanding.

One more concern is understanding. Individuals will put a grasping plugin with some default setting on their master out and call it a day, and after that be perplexed when a person listens to the track as well as comments on all the clipping and distortion. Don’t even attempt to grasp your tracks. Just include compression where needed on individual sounds as well as view the needles to see if you’re coming to a head anywhere. If you are, simply lock all of the tracks with each other and transform them down with each other to keep your blending balance. Orchestration.

These following two components, orchestration as well as arrangement, are technically components of music theory but deserve their very own focus in this post. Both can finish your beat making abilities to the following level if done right.

orchestration.

When you consider the word orchestration, consider an actual orchestra and the genius swing his stick around. He’s informing specific individuals to play their instruments at specific times based upon their seating position (mixing and also panning). He tells particular ones to quit while others begin, and also when he actually wants to blow your mind, he’ll bring them all right into the mix at the same time, but they seem terrific together because they are making use of harmony and also off-setting each other’s rhythms. You need to be doing the exact same point with your beats.

Your goal is to try as well as use the entire series of human hearing, from the bass regularities approximately the sparkly highs. To pull this off, you require to be familiar with the primary frequency series of different instruments and also sounds. You have actually heard adequate music to understand how to do this without having the specific Hertz regularities remembered. Use your ears! Primarily, this means that you don’t want 5 instruments all wrecking along in the bass variety. Have a bass, a kick drum a little bit greater in frequency, an entrapment greater, after that human vocals, and after that a couple of others a bit higher and also panned around supporting the lead melody. The difference in quality and satisfaction is very evident as soon as acknowledged. Starting with a proper selection in instrumentation makes the rest of your work a lot easier.

Syncopation.

We are discussing rap or R&B for the most part below, I’m thinking. That suggests there’s a big focus on the drums as well as the pattern in which they thump out their rhythm. The most uninteresting point you can do is utilize all down defeats. It’s the number one reason your beats are burning out. When you examine music theory, you’ll discover something you can already feel, which is strong beats and also weak beats.

Alike time, which is four over 4 or 4 beats per procedure, you’ll intuitively count the vanquish like …

ONE, two, THREE, four, ONE, two, THREE, 4 …

You’ll notice, as well as I’ve laid it out aesthetically above, that the 1 beat is the best, followed by the 3 beat. 2 and four are heard as weak beats. However if you move right into 8th notes as well as 16th notes, 2 and also 4 are felt even stronger.

Syncopation can be taken having your drums appealed the weak beats rather than the strong. This makes the audience really feel the weak beats while preparing for the strong, which develops a sense of driving forward with the tune (also known as not being monotonous). To get a sense of this, set out a loop where you drop the kick on the first beat and afterwards struck the snare on the 2 as well as 4 beats. Now return in, stretch your sight to 8th or 16th notes, and purposefully go down kicks anywhere yet the solid beats (1, 2, 3, and 4). Currently you’re producing hip-hop as opposed to thumping club-techno, hefty metal, or 80’s rock. Sparse or Full.

Notification as you pay attention to various tracks that they typically follow a couple of courses: they are either really sparse in their instrumentation or they are extremely complete seeming. Something like “Drop It Like It’s Hot” by Pharell was thin, where as something like Dr. Dre’s “Kush” is very full.

Make this choice from the start to ensure that you don’t have orchestration issues. Notice exactly how Dre’s choice of instrument noises don’t encounter each various other, due to them each having an assigned frequency range that do not butt heads. A lot more instances of complete beats were Kanye’s early Midwest design beats.

If you choose to go thin, you have to keep points fascinating by utilizing special audios. Pharell chose to use silly mouth sounds blended with synths to a strange juxtaposition. Yet it worked. Another technique is to keep your beat as well as rhythm the same, yet adjustment instruments, such as switching out snares throughout the carolers or switching kicks midway via a verse. The main technique to making full or thin beats work relates to the adhering to section on plan. Setup.

By the time you take into consideration plan, you’ve picked your instrumentation currently. So the concern ends up being not which instruments to make use of, however when to use them. You can not simply start wrecking them all at the exact same time or you’ll just have a mess. If they all play, together, the exact same lead tune the vocalist is vocal singing, after that you don’t have a tune. You require to select what function each instrument offers, such as balancing the lead melody, sustaining it’s rhythm, or generating the buzz only in the chorus, etc

. Songs is as much about space and also vacuum as it is loading that space. The ears as well as mind need a possibility to “breathe” as well as process what it’s hearing. That’s why less is more a lot of the moments, and also songs that achieve a fullness are doing it with reverbs and delays a lot more so than additional tools. Over-flooding somebody’s senses won’t obtain their interest, it’ll just have them transform your tune off, just like we always mute the TV throughout loud commercials. Custom-made Loads.

2 of the funnest parts of making beats is creating custom fills up for the ends of areas and after you get the vocals back from the rapper or singer. In relation to customized loads pre-vocals, go ahead and loop your song out with constant rhythms that are foreseeable and also repeated. This provides the individual something to lock right into so they can focus on the vocals as well as lyrics. With experience you run the risk of being boring for being remarkable, however thankfully it opens up an opportunity to create even more interesting “ear candy” with fills up.

personalized drum fills up.

Since you have your standard design expanded with repeating rhythms that your listener will certainly become acquainted with, you can choose details minutes in the tune (generally transitional minutes) to emphasize with custom-made loads. The timeless moment is when you’re vacating completion of a knowledgeable as well as right into the carolers. You can decrease in a nice snare fill that liven up the ears of the listener. It obtains them paying closer interest again and also signals them that something is about to occur (in this case, relocating right into the chorus). Currently you have rate of interest and familiarity together while maintaining transitions from being rough, sudden, as well as disturbing.

When you obtain vocals back, a fun method is to listen along for any kind of one-of-a-kind words, components of the lyrical message, or off-setting rhythmic parts. You can aid these parts radiate much more by developing customized drum fills beneath them and also bringing in (or securing) other instruments to attract more focus to it. Don’t overdo it or it’ll lose it’s power as well as upset the experience you have actually developed. Dynamic Breathing.

Bear in mind earlier when I stated you need to allow a track breathe? Along with song sections transforming feeling and melodies changing, you need to likewise differ the degree of strength throughout a tune. By being a bit brilliant, you can accomplish this in lots of various ways. One of my faves is to go down into half-time or dual time drums. It’s rarely seen in hip-hop yet you can even change pace or measure signature. One of the most valuable for this sort of songs is leaving and reviving various instruments. It can be as easy as dropping out high-hats for an area, dropping out the bass for a procedure, or quiting the entrapment.

By dropping instruments out, you can keep familiarity, and after that when you reestablish it the strength of the preliminary impact makes it seem new as well as enhanced. You’ll have managed to breathe some fresh air into a track all by fooling the brain of the audience right into playing catch-up and then forgetting about an instrument. You can do this with any type of instrument during any type of section of the track, however pick wisely as well as don’t simply go willy-nilly deleting parts of tracks. Conclusion.

Here’s what I advise. Select any type of instrumental of your own. Perhaps your preferred one, or your weakest one. After that reread this short article and also apply one of the suggestions above to it. After that one more. Function your method through all of them as well as ultimately make an additional full-bounce of the track, then ignore it. Wait a week and after that listen to the initial variation a few times. Ultimately, listen to your brand-new and also boosted version as well as prepare to be surprised at the developments you’ll have made. As soon as you feel you’ve internalized these new concepts, you’ll begin using them to every one of your brand-new beats and instantly find that you’re being spoken to by increasingly more brand-new customers. Your online reputation will start climbing up, yet do not quit here. This is just a starting point for every one of the tricks you can discover. Maintain examining more music concept and applying your brand-new expertise. If you aren’t examining, your competitors will certainly be, and also it’s an absolutely no sum video game. Either your beats obtain positioned on the cd, or somebody else’s does. Reach function as well as keep grinding!

[slrlounge1]

My Experience with Apple as a Photographer and Creative Professional…

Disclaimer

Okay. Before I get started, let me say that I feel like the most unlucky person when it comes to electronics and major purchases. But, even with my bad luck, perhaps you will find this experience odd and worth sharing. What you are about to read is not doctored or manipulated to get more views, it’s simply my experience this past year with Apple products.

In the past, I respected and held Apple in high regard. However, I am by no means a “fanboy” of anything. I will use whatever it takes to get the job done, and I will tell you the pros and the cons of the tools I use. This is not a sponsored article, nor would Apple pay me to write this. They’d probably pay me not to. But that’s exactly why I feel it is important to share my experience using the new iMac Pro, MacBook Pro, and iPhone X. Here is a quick video that sums up my troubles:

Born Of PC

I was always a fan of Apple’s iPhone and iPad, but up until a year ago, I was by and large a PC user. Almost my entire world belonged in PC. It’s what I’d known since my teenage years, dividing my time between building my own computers, programming, and working at CompUSA (I really loved that job). I really loved PC for all the typical reasons. They are generally cheaper with plenty of DIY options for upgrades and more. Outside of that reason, I wasn’t particularly married to either side of the PC vs. Apple fence.

Over the years, I found myself having less and less time to build, modify and troubleshoot my own rigs. On top of that, Apple was consistently providing more reasons that made it possible to justify switching ecosystems. I loved their software to hardware integrations and the performance of Apple operating systems. A seamless experience between mobile and desktop seemed wonderful. On top of that, there was the App Store. However, what I appreciated most was the fact that their hardware/software systems were of the utmost quality and extremely reliable. At least, that was my perception.

Either way, less than a year ago (late 2017), I had enough motivation and justification to completely make the switch.

Swallowing The Bitter Cost Pill

When jumping into the Apple universe of products, we each have to accept the fact that we’re going to spend significantly more money than we would on other devices. For comparable performance results between a PC and an Apple, expect to pay 25-50% more on the Apple side of the spectrum. It’s no doubt a significant difference in price. However, we can accept this price difference more easily when we consider Apple’s sleek design, solid build quality, reliability, display quality, OS ecosystem, and more. That is until we can no longer expect those things from Apple. That’s where I stand today.

Let’s jump into the story.

Cupertino, We Have  A Problem

iPhone X

My business partner convinced me to jump into the new iPhone X upon release. Don’t get me wrong, Justin didn’t twist my arm. I’m always game for an upgrade. But, immediately upon receiving the new phone, I was frustrated by the fact that it felt as though Apple took a step backward in usability. The lack of a home button, the swiping left and right and from corners, all felt more difficult. Even getting the phone to flip on and recognize my face seemed more cumbersome than the simple home button design. Not to mention the new button layout leading to all sorts of wonderful screenshot mistakes. Still, I was game for learning the new design. However, even today, almost a year later, I still find the iPhone 7/8 to offer a better user experience.

Regardless, that was a small issue. Let’s get to the bigger one. Within roughly two weeks of using my new iPhone X, the smartphone started having issues. It would often freeze and crash. Very soon after, it completely died. I took it in for service and they said that it had a logic board failure. Then, they replaced the iPhone X without hassle. The Apple store is wonderful in that department. I also appreciated being able to take the phone into a store rather than having to mail it in for service. I made an appointment at the Genius Bar and they took care of it. Not a big deal.

Unfortunately, the issues haven’t stopped. The phone still crashes quite often. The OS is buggy, sometimes turning on and freezing for minutes. Now, with only a few months of use, my vibrate on/off toggle is also stuck.

Oh, by the way, my phone also fails to connect to the internet quite often. Despite having a full LTE signal (as you can see above), I can make calls, but I can’t send/receive data. T-Mobile and Apple do this amazing thing where they blame each other for the errors. T-Mobile says it’s the phone, Apple says it’s T-Mobile’s service. Odd, considering we have five iPhone Xs on the T-Mobile plan, and mine seems to be the only one having data issues. I’m siding with T-Mobile on this one.

No biggie, though; it’s just a phone, and AppleCare will take care of this latest issue. I just have to make the time to go get my third iPhone X back to the store. Something I’ve yet to do. Let’s move on.

MacBook Pro

In late 2017, I purchased a new MacBook Pro, which represents my first major step into the Apple ecosystem. This was the 2017 MacBook Pro and I purchased it nearly fully upgraded. It came equipped with a two-terabyte hard drive, as well as the fastest processor available at the time, 16 gigs of RAM, etc. I think the only additional option was a four-terabyte SSD. This required an amount of money that I wasn’t willing to pay.

Needless to say, this was an expensive piece of hardware. With Apple Care, I was looking to pay around $5,000 for this laptop, compared to $3,000-$4,000 for a comparable high-end PC. But, the price didn’t matter. I knew I was getting a reliable machine that I could use for live broadcasts, content creation and presentations with both CreativeLive and SLR Lounge. I expected a machine that could keep up with my need to edit images/video as I was preparing over 3,000 keynote slides over the next several months.

Unfortunately, a reliable machine is not what I received. Within a week of using the computer, I started noticing strange issues. For example, the mouse would regularly stutter; as I would move the trackpad, my mouse and keyboard would freeze temporarily as you can see in this video.

Later, depending on which USB-C ports were in use, the machine wouldn’t even start up which you can see here.

Shortly after, the laptop also started freezing and crashing on occasion. At the time, it was no more than a little odd considering it was a brand new machine and that it was an Apple. “Perhaps I just got a bad unit,” I thought to myself.

I took it to the Genius Bar to evaluate the situation. A day or two later, they said, “Your logic board is going bad and we need to replace it.” Just like before, when I took in my iPhone X, they replaced the logic board and it seemed like I had a new machine. Minus a day or so worth of time, I was back up and running. Sadly, within about week or two, it started having the same issues. This time, however, I started seeing other issues as well, like a graphics card failure. Here’s a video of the second machine.

Usually, when experiencing an issue with your computer, you can shut down the system or restart it. When I tried to do that here, the system went into a crazy, pixilated matrix view and it wouldn’t shut down properly.

Two different Apple MacBook Pros (2017 on the left, 2018 on the right), each with the same problem.

When I returned once more to the Genius Bar, they informed me that the logic board was failing again. They replaced the MacBook Pro, again. After having been replaced twice, it seemed to be operating pretty well until recently, when it started having the same issues once again as shown below.

I am on my third MacBook Pro, and it’s still not without problems. But, wait, you’ll find out that it gets even worse. For now, let’s move on to the iMac Pro.

iMac Pro

In January 2018, I made the final switch of upgrading my workstation to the iMac Pro. For the new workstation, I bought a specced out version of iMac Pro for roughly $7,000 with AppleCare. That represents a significant premium for what you’re actually getting. It has a beautiful screen and a beautiful design, but even then, you’d only spend $4,000-$5,000 on the PC side for the equivalent of $7,000 worth of Apple hardware. Again, I justified the premium because I wanted the quality and seamless experience Apple was known for.

In less than two weeks from the time I received the iMac Pro, I started experiencing the same exact stutter issues that I had with my MacBook Pro. Once again, I called into tech support. The cursor would freeze and stutter as you can see in the video above. Early on, it happened only upon startup. Within a few weeks, it started occurring during regular use of the computer as shown below.

While my MacBook Pro was in service, I had to make the iMac Pro work as it was my only machine. When I got my third MacBook Pro back, I finally reached out to Apple Support regarding the iMac Pro. This is where things went further south.

The Mysterious Disappearance Of Apple Support

I reached Apple Support fairly easily. I was quickly given an Apple Case Support person who was assigned to my case from beginning to end. She ran system analytics and other diagnostic before stating that she would need to send the information to the engineers for analysis. She told me they would be in touch within the next week. Meanwhile, the $7,000 iMac Pro sat on my desk as it would freeze/stutter too often to be used.

Keep in mind that during this time, I was using my MacBook Pro as my primary machine. I purchased external monitors just to be able to work more efficiently. Needing more screen real estate as I was creating content for the Complete Business Workshop, which we are currently releasing! (shameless plug).

At this point, taking the MacBook Pro or iMac Pro onto a production set was causing me severe anxiety. We always film with an in-studio audience, or via live online broadcasts. During each presentation and production event, I was constantly worried about the machines crashing or stuttering mid-presentation. My worries were justified when it did indeed happen. Oh, and by the way, the MacBook Pro we are currently editing this article on is also stuttering through nearly every word we type.

Back to the iMac Pro. After a week of waiting without any follow-up, I reached out to my caseworker. I could not get a hold of her, but I did leave a message and informed her about the status of my iMac Pro. She never responded, and I couldn’t get ahold of anyone who could help solve the issue. I soon found myself busy with productions for clients, Creative Live, and SLR Lounge. All of which took me out of the studio for a couple of weeks. When I got back, I still hadn’t heard back regarding the iMac Pro. In total, I sent four follow-up emails starting on March 23rd going to April 8th, and none of them had been responded to. The final email was sent to an escalated Case Manager to show them my experience (which we will discuss shortly).

Eventually, I just made an appointment with the Genius Bar and took the machine into the store. Apple of South Coast Plaza said that they needed a bit of time to run diagnostics, so I left it there. There was no loaner, despite the experience I had thus far. I was left without an office workstation while they attempted to fix the situation. During that time, it was back to using the MacBook Pro as a primary machine. Something that I am not a fan of considering it’s far more efficient to work from a more powerful desktop. A week later, I was informed that the issue was software related and that I’d have my computer back soon.

I relayed my doubts to them about the issue being software related. “If it’s just a software issue, why is it experiencing the same problems as my MacBook Pro?” I asked. I described to them the same stuttering, crashes, and graphics card failures, which mirrored what happened on the MacBook Pro when its logic board went out, not once, but twice.

Regardless, they repeated that it’s just a software issue and they told me I’d have my computer the next day. When the next day rolled around, they called to confirm that it was indeed a hardware issue, not a software issue. The said that the computer would soon be back with the engineers in Cupertino, and would take a few more days to complete. It took close to three weeks before I could get the iMac Pro back into my office, fixed and ready to go. And guess what? They had to replace the logic board and internal components once again.

Unfortunately, the story isn’t even over. The instant that I first turned the computer back on, I could see that my information had been wiped (this wasn’t the problem). The problem was that upon startup, it required an Apple ID set to an administrator Apple account that I wasn’t given the password to. Nobody from the store explained this. I soon found myself back on the phone again, calling Apple support, who then called the specific store at South Coast Plaza to provide me the password. Later that day, I was contacted and given that password to log in.  At that point, I had to log in, restore my account, then remove the administrative account manually. Typically, Apple support has always returned the machine ready to restore via Time Machine. 

Finally, A Breakthrough In Customer Service

After getting my computer setup, I reached out to customer service to let them know that I needed to talk to somebody about my overall experience with Apple. They sent me to a manager and I explained everything that’s happened. That’s when I also forwarded along the ghosted email correspondence. I also calmly shared with her my experience with my iPhone X, MacBook Pro and now iMac Pro.

In return, she responded with regret and asked, “Well, are there any products that you would like in the Apple store?” I initially declined the offer. I told her, “I kind of own what I want already. The only thing I don’t have is the HomePod, but not sure if I want that.” She then said, “How about I send you out a HomePod to thank you and compensate you for your troubles?” I explained the countless hours through the year that have been wasted on tech support. She responded back that sending me a HomePod was the best that could be done.

Honestly, I was grateful that they were willing to do even that. Few companies would do anything to acknowledge such an experience. So, that’s a small plus there. I knew there was nothing that could truly compensate me for my time or experience over the year. I accepted the HomePod, and just hoped this whole thing was done.

Apple HomePod

For those asking, “how was the HomePod.” Well, I don’t have much positive to report there. The speaker sounds great. It looks nice. But, beyond that, you shouldn’t be expecting much else. The HomePod is tricky to set up with the iMac Pro and once online, Siri can’t really do much. She can’t even play Spotify as she responds with “I’m sorry, I can’t do that” and requests that you use iTunes instead. Unfortunately, Siri has a long way to catch up to Amazon’s Alexa and Google Assistant.

It was in that moment, listening to this glorified speaker that I began wondering, “Where has Apple gone in their quality and product development? Where is the Apple that we all once knew?”

If Only It Were Over

I so desperately wished this was the end of this article, and of my experience. Unfortunately, it’s not. If you think I want to write/post more, you are wrong.

My third MacBook Pro is now experiencing the same issues that lead up to each of the previous logic board failures as can be seen here.

In addition, the iMac Pro has begun stuttering, freezing and crashing just as it did prior to being replaced. Now, it’s simply a matter of time before each machine stops working entirely, and has to go back to be serviced again.

Now, you won’t believe this part. I had an opportunity to upgrade to the 2018 MacBook Pro. A family member, knowing the issues with my 2017 model agreed to purchase it from me since it’s still so new and has AppleCare. So I bought the 2018 MacBook Pro. Can you guess what’s happened? Yep, already started to see issues with the 2018 MacBook Pro as can be seen in this image. This was, by the way, the same shutdown screen that we previously showed side-by-side on the 2017 model above. I see this lovely image every time I shut down the laptop.

Do I feel stupid? Yes. I feel like the idiot who’s made the same mistake repeatedly while giving Apple the benefit of the doubt that they clearly don’t deserve. Since publishing this piece my business partner, Justin, has had yet ANOTHER logic board failure on this iPhone X… I can’t make this stuff up.

Conclusion

Apple, as I once knew it, no longer exists in my mind today. In my opinion, the company that we all looked at as the pinnacle of innovation and quality control, is quickly vanishing.

If Apple were reading this right now, I would say that at a point in time I very much understood why someone would pay the extra money to buy Apple products. I understood what came with the Apple brand and you could say at that time that “you get what you pay for.” But today, that understanding,  quality, reliability, and goodwill behind the Apple brand have been completely eroded away. At least, in my experience.

When Steve Jobs passed away, I had my doubts about whether the company would continue to do what it did so well. Year after year, we’ve seen product lines receive modest updates as Apple throws out marketing terms like “revolutionary” for a touch bar that is anything but. Premature and underdeveloped products are released to capitalize on Apple’s goodwill (the HomePod). In the least, I expected Apple to keep up with the quality and reliability of the products that they have come to be known for. Unfortunately, it seems that year after year, quality control has dwindled as well.

On top of this, Apple’s product lines have expanded and become more complex. This goes directly against Steve Jobs mission to always simplify and focus on their core products and customers. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the Bluetooth AirPods. These were sold to me from a salesperson quoting a Steve Jobs line of “they just work.” Well, they work, most of the time. Sometimes I have to put them into the back into the base, reconnect, take them in and out of my ear, and after all of this… “they just work.” But, like all Apple products, when they work, I sure do love them.

Today, I buy AppleCare on every Apple Product I purchase. It’s not because I want it, it’s because I’m fearful that everything I’m going to buy is going to fail. This is a deceptive consumer practice. Apple has made each of us pay $300-$500 more for each product we buy because like me, other people are afraid that a day past their warranty they will fail, and they do! 

As it stands, I will use these products until they quit and AppleCare has expired. From there, unless Apple has changed, I have no reason to stick to a platform that has caused me so much more grief than the world of PC.

This has been my experience without bias or exaggeration. I will continue to always be open about my experiences with each of these companies and their products. I will also say that it’s not all negative. Beyond the hardware issues I’ve faced this year, I can honestly say that I love Apple’s ecosystem consisting of their OS, App Store, and software suite. In my mind, this is a huge reason to stay with the platform, if they can get everything else back on track. I genuinely hope that they are able to do so.

Discussion

My question to you all, is when does all the Apple goodwill end? Recently, Apple became the world’s first trillion-dollar company. Most of that accomplishment seems to be due to the ecosystem and world created by its past founders, engineers, and designers.

Today, Apple continues to reap profits on the efforts, much of which was put in over a decade prior. Meanwhile, in recent years it seems as their product, its quality, and overall service seem to have dwindled. Yet,  we continue to reward this and I wonder why? What are they doing today to keep you happy as a consumer? What is Apple doing right now, to justify spending time waiting in a line to give them your money, or buying every newly updated product?

I didn’t write this article to bash Apple as a company. I still love Apple, and I appreciate the vision that Steve Jobs had for the brand. I wrote this article to hopefully create a dialogue that can lead to positive change within a company many of us creatives love. I firmly believe that Apple products and hardware used to be far more reliable than it is today. It’s something that I am hoping will change.

This is where I’d love to hear your experiences. Negative and positive. Let’s dismiss the inner fanboy/fangirl and have some real talk. As always, please keep it civil.

This was my experience, how about the rest of you?

  from SLR Lounge https://www.slrlounge.com/my-experience-with-apple-as-a-photographer-and-creative-professional/ via IFTTT

[tvobsessed96]

“Shades of Justice,” a CSI: Miami Rewatch: Episode 10

1x10- “A Horrible Mind”

CASE: The seemingly ritualistic killing of an eccentric professor leads the team to suspect a cult, until information about his extreme teaching techniques turns the suspicion on his students. Meanwhile, Delko and Megan must figure out how a body ended up in the trunk of a submerged car. I think I like these stories about the same in that I’m not especially fond of either of them. I’ll start with what is clearly the primary storyline of the episode. I find it hard to believe that Metzger would be hired to teach at any kind of school. His teaching methods alone should have gotten him fired, even if you aren’t repulsed by his choice of guest speakers. I think the episode is trying to paint him as some kind of eccentric genius who took things too far, but the writing and performance just make him seem crazy. I do find the psychological aspect of this story interesting. If it were better developed and better written, this might have been a really compelling episode. As it stands, I find it hard to engage with. It doesn’t help that I disagree with his theory that hatred and violence are necessary to human existence. The storyline with the guy in the trunk isn’t particularly compelling, either. In the end, it turns out Doug slipped while trying to get his Neil Diamond CD out of the trunk. I can’t decide if that’s cute or just anticlimactic.

CHARACTER: There’s not a ton of significant character stuff in this episode, but there are a few things to note. Megan has been featured less and less prominently in these past few episodes. She’s only in two scenes this time. We’re coming to the end of her run on the show. I’d actually forgotten how long she was around for. We also get another, less ambiguously racist moment from Horatio in this episode. I’ve praised this show for its commitment to incorporating Spanish and reflecting the culture of Miami, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t bumps in the road. I really hate Horatio’s reaction when the Columbian prison interrogator they’ve been talking to switches to English after having spent most of the scene conversing with Calleigh in Spanish. I get that this is a bad dude and Horatio thought he was being evasive, but that’s no excuse for the snarky tone he takes as he comments on this guy being able to speak English after all. The fact that this man isn’t even really given a proper name doesn’t help matters. Why is he even necessary to the plot? The good news is that the scene isn’t entirely terrible. We do get one pretty great moment. Horatio hears the Spanish word for “student” and assumes the Columbian interrogator is being condescending to Calleigh. He immediately demands that this man treat Calleigh with respect. This is a nice example of how to be an ally. Men need to call each other out! 

CRAFT: This episode was written by Ildy Modrovich and Laurence Walsh. Considering that they also wrote “Broken,” it’s not surprising that I disliked the writing in this episode. I’m fairly certain they improve later on, so I’ll be looking forward to that. This episode was directed by Greg Yaitanes. It’s competent work, I’d say. If pervious episodes contained bits and pieces of what makes a typical, formulaic episode of the show, this episode brought them together. The cold open ends the way many CSI: Miami cold opens do, with Horatio quipping as he slips on his iconic shades. Formulaic doesn’t always mean bad, but this episode isn’t a great example.

Grade: C+

I gave this episode a lower grade, although not dismally low. There are some interesting things here. I actually like “Broken” a little less than this. There will be worse episodes of the series, but there will also be much better ones. Next up is “Camp Fear.”

[foursprout-blog]

Your Messy Office May Be Helping You Get More Done

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/wealth/your-messy-office-may-be-helping-you-get-more-done/

Your Messy Office May Be Helping You Get More Done

In 1993, advertising legend Jay Chiat announced his radical plans for the office of the future. His agency, Chiat/Day, was already a paragon of creativity — its legendary campaigns included Apple’s “1984” and “Think Different” campaigns — and its new LA office, designed by Frank Gehry was to be its monument.

The space was engineered to be playful; with decorations that included pieces from fairground rides and a four-story sized set of binoculars. It eschewed the traditional office cubicles and desks in favor of public spaces where executives could meet in impromptu places and brainstorm ideas.

It was a disaster. As Tim Harford explains in his book Messy our desire for engineered spaces — even creative ones — can kill productivity and innovation. At the same time, disorder and disruption can help us to do our very best work. While this defies conventional wisdom, decades of research clearly shows that your messy desk may very well be a mark of genius.

The Tidiness Temptation

Kyocera, the Japanese technology giant, strictly adheres to the 5S workplace philosophy (Sort, Set in order, Shine, Standardize and Sustain). Employees are discouraged from cluttering up their desks or hanging personal items on the walls. Inspectors routinely patrol to enforce compliance.

This type of uniformity may be great for the factory floor — some believe 5S was originally derived from Henry Ford’s CANDO system (Cleaning up, Arranging, Neatness, Discipline and Ongoing improvement) — where efficiency is the primary goal, but there is ample evidence that it may seriously harm productivity when creativity and problem solving are required.

In 2010, Alexander Haslam and Craig Knight, both researchers at the University of Exeter, set out to understand how office environments affect productivity. They set up four office layouts and asked subjects to perform simple tasks. They found that when workers were able to clutter up the space with personal knickknacks they got 30% more done than in the 5S environment.

Yet the issue goes far beyond a bit of clutter. Harford points to a number of examples, from musicians to software engineers to daily commuters — that suggest that we often produce our best work amidst some kind of disruption. As it turns out, being thrown off our game can actually bring it to a whole new level.

Why Messy Works

To illustrate why disorder can lead to better outcomes Harford offers a simple hill climbing analogy. Imagine if you had to design an algorithm to find the highest point on earth. The simplest way to do it would be to pick a point at random and simply move to the next highest point. With each move, you would go higher and high until you reached a peak.

Your performance on the task, however, would be highly dependent on where you started. You might do better selecting a number of different points, but here again, you would basically be relying on luck. You’d be just as likely to end up in the lowlands of Holland as you would to land in the Himalayas or the Andes.

The best approach would be to combine the two strategies by picking a limited set of random points and then hill climbing. That would allow you to avoid getting stuck in lowlands and still benefit from steady improvement. It wouldn’t guarantee that you would end up on the top of Mount Everest, but it would outperform either strategy alone.

There is evidence that the hybrId strategy produces better results in the real world. In fact,  a team of researchers analyzing 17.9 million scientific papers found that the most highly cited work is far more likely to come from a team of experts in one field that borrowed a small piece of insight from another. Injecting a little bit of randomness can work wonders.

The Two Sides Of Diversity

Steve Jobs is renowned for his attention to order and detail. A micromanager of the highest order, he even insisted that the insides of his computers look elegant and streamlined. It was, in part, this meticulous approach that allowed him to make some of the most successful products ever.

Yet when designing workspaces, he did just the opposite. Both Pixar’s office and Apple’s new “spaceship” building feature central atriums where people are bound to run into people they ordinarily wouldn’t. The legendary Bell Labs was set up with the same idea in mind, almost forcing researchers with widely divergent expertise to cross in the halls.

Once again, there is ample empirical evidence that backs up the this idea. A variety of studies going back decades suggest the diverse teams perform better, even when compared with ones that objectively have more ability. Giving yourself more hills to climb increases the chances that you’ll land on a high peak.

However, research also shows that being exposed to diverse perspectives is challenging and often uncomfortable, giving rice to tension and uncertainty. That’s why the best teams often function as part of a larger small world network, with tight-knit groups connected to and interacting with other tight-knit groups, combining stability with diversity.

Sharing Purpose

Clearly, the most effective work environments have a healthy mix of order and disorder. The strict conformity of 5S workplaces can feel oppressive, but so can the imposed craziness of the Chiat/Day offices. In both cases, our own personal sense of autonomy is violated. More subtle prodding, such as the run-ins catalyzed by Pixar’s atrium seem to get better results.

Still, every workplace has its own tribes and cliques. Marketing teams clash with engineering and sales teams, while everyone chafes under the watchful gaze of finance and admin. We all have an instinctive need to form our own cohesive groups and to protect them from the incursions of outsiders.

However, those tensions can be overcome if diverse and competing tribes share a greater purpose. In a classic study done back in the 1950s with boys at a summer camp, it was shown that intense conflict would break out when teams were given competing goals, but that tension gave way to cooperation when they were given a common objective.

Many managers today go to great efforts to design innovative workplaces and they take a variety of different approaches. Yet what seems most important isn’t the actual specifics of the architecture, but whether it’s designed to empower or to dictate. If we feel we have power over our environment, we tend to be much more productive.

Of course, when everyone gets to make their own decisions things can get a little messy, but that’s what often produces better results.

[joshuazev]

On double digits:

Today was one of those days where the all of the little things get remembered.  Maybe it’s because there were few big things to speak of, in the sense that it really felt like all I did today was wake up, make too elaborate of a breakfast (which ended up being very time consuming), go to work, work, and then return home.  It was one of those days where you might try to make a post-it note of all the things you need to take care of, where you might leave all the tabs open on your phone’s internet because you don’t want to forget anything, but you return home somewhat silently dejected because none of the “to-do’s” were crossed out and none of the internet reminders could even be utilized to remind.  It’s cold season, it is.  I’ve been pretty surprised that I haven’t gotten sick until now, to be perfectly honest.  The funny thing is, everyone I’ve spoken too about being sick has all said the same thing; they all should have been sick a long time ago.  I know why I’m sick, at least.  No sleep.  That’ll get you.  The cold.  That’ll get you too.  Colds have a weird habit of really affecting me at two very specific parts of the day.  Right when I wake up (when my throat is dry and my nose is stuffed) and right before I go to bed (when all of the morning symptoms seem to return).  Hopefully I can get over it sooner rather than later.  Gotta get more sleep to accomplish a feat like that because it’s only gonna get colder for the foreseeable future.  

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I could eat breakfast for every meal of the day if, of course, I was fortunate enough to eat three meals in a day.  I’m so inexperienced at cooking in general (I’m learning though, I swear!) that what probably takes real cooks about 15 minutes takes me about 35-40.  I’m still at the point where I have to do everything individually.  I’ve never been too good a multi tasker and cooking is no different.  For example, today I put the potatoes in the oven super early because I knew that they would take the longest to cook, but I didn’t take into account the amount of time the oven takes to preheat to 425, which caused everything else to delay.  I cooked the sausage by itself because I didn’t really anticipate the fact that I would need to throw it back in the pan when I made the scramble and I did the beans separately because i haven’t really tried cooking beans with any other foods in the same pan.  So, all that being said, because I didn’t consolidate I spent the better portion of my free time before the “get ready for work stage” cooking what ended up being a damn good breakfast.  I only brag because there aren’t many other things I can brag about in the kitchen, but the spread of eggs, peppers, garlic, mushrooms, tomatoes, italian sausage, mozzarella with some beans on top along with avocado and some potatoes on the side?  Then to make enough to avoid eating the same old catering spread of sandwiches and what not was a blessing in more ways than one.  I love making breakfast.  I have no idea why.  My dad and I used to go “The Dish” in Fremont on most Sundays when we were both available to do so.  For years I’d get the french toast.  Just like for years I would only eat coffee yogurt for breakfast.  I began to get so spoiled eating the same thing that it never occurred to me—especially with respect to The Dish that I could make French Toast, too.  Yeah, I can make French Toast now.  Is it as good as the Dish?  No.  Not really.  Not even close.  The fact that I can make it now though means so much to me.  Makes me less dependent.  There was a period of time where I stopped eating French Toast and started to get a combination scramble of everything under the sun that could go in a scramble and taste good.  One day I was walking and thought to myself, “You know what, I can make that too” and I’m happy to say it’s becoming one of my favorite things to do during the day—making my own awesome breakfast.  Side note: you can literally put anything in a scramble.  

I was thinking about my cold again and it made me think of medical insurance and how I need to purchase one of the available plans.  On the subway there are all these advertisements for Oscar, which is one of the more popular health insurance companies out here.  The advertising campaign is actually pretty genius: they have all of these pictures of different parts of the body with a band-aid covering the affected part and a tagline that reads, “I’m covered.”  On some of their other smaller posters it has a laundry list of potential incidents including physicals and drunk trips, etc. but the tagline always stays the same.  I did some preliminary research and the plan seemed a little expensive, but then again so is everything when you’re used to not paying anything at all.  It’s like the first time you move out of your parents’ house and pay rent.  That rent check seems a helluva lot bigger than the number might suggest (even though nowadays that number is indeed a helluva lot bigger).  I know that getting medical insurance is a necessity, but what are the odds some truly horrific shit will go down?  Am I aware that’s a stupid and rather unsafe question to ask?  Yeah, probably.  And everyone knows I’m not a good gambler.  I wonder how many people aren’t medically insured in the US.  I know I’ve said this before, but it’s kind of crazy when you go through all of these years hearing the same thing (in this case “Obamacare”) and then one day you realize why you’ve been hearing it all the time because finally it affects you.  

Today I wore a beanie and a gator as well as several layers under my jacket because it was freezing.  Everything was covered except for my eyes.  There are many Muslim women who dawn an article of clothing called a niqab, which is a veil that covers the face but has an opening for the eyes.  I used to do the same thing in college when it would get really cold at UW and even though people knew I was doing it because I was cold, it was always interesting to see people’s faces.  Some would look at me with such obvious suspicion like I was fleeing the scene of a crime or something.  Maybe it was because they could only see my eyes.  Eyes can be telling.  They can be revealing.  They can also be deceiving.  Can you look at someone’s eyes and know what they’re thinking if it is only the eyes you see?  Can you tell if they’re happy or sad?  Frowning or smiling?  There was a part of the walk to work where I was thinking of a small idea for a short film or a short piece.  A man dressed for the cold with only his eyes exposed comes across a woman in a niqab, who also has only her eyes exposed.  It follows the moment that they first see each other, from many feet away and how their gaze connects and lingers, speaking to each other silently and what might transpire after that moment.  To be honest, it doesn’t need to be anything, but I can see it now and I  think it could be a really cool visual to see.  

I feel like I should take the opportunity to vent a little bit about the work environment today.  I catered a Viacom holiday party in a huge warehouse on the water.  I don’t need to remind you again that it was extremely cold, but I feel obligated to say that the work uniform was a—and pardon my french—motherfucking t-shirt.  Mind you, all of our work stations were right by the entrance, and it was about 30 degrees outside.  I got goosebumps within moments of taking my jacket off.  It kind of seemed like a health violation right?  A liability?  A serious error in judgement?  You remember when I mentioned that exposure to “the cold” is a surefire way to…um, getting a cold?  What the fuck!  Now the sick people are gonna get sicker.  I heard body heat was one of their excuses.  3500 people was supposed to keep us warm.  Get.  The.  Fuck.  Outta.  Here.  I don’t think so.  There might have been 3500 people in that warehouse, but they couldn’t have lit a campfire.  And somehow, someway, this is all a segue to the kicker.  One of my first jokes that I ever wrote about in my notebook was a joke that I like to call “double digits.”  It was a joke revolving around shoe size and how meaningful it is to make it to double digits.  For me, a size 10.  I remember vividly the first time I got a pair of size 10 shoes.  It was a joyous occasion and every subsequent purchase of a size 10 was just as great as the previous one.  One day my sister and I (fairly positive it was us two) were at Nordstroms because I wanted to try on some Timberlands.  Before we knew it, there was someone coming over to help us try on some shoes.  He asked me what size I was and I proudly told him a 10.  This wasn’t some regular worker though.  He must have thought I was lying because he made me put my foot into one of those sizing things and he had the nerve to tell me I wasn’t a size 10 because the faulty sizing device he had was obviously giving him the wrong feedback.  So he comes back later with a 9 or 9.5 or a 10 and I reluctantly tried all of them on, not willing to admit which one felt better.  Everyone knows that Timberlands fit big.  He went on and on and tried to prove his point but I wasn’t having it, so I left without Timberlands.  The point is…I was a size 10.  About a year and a half ago I bought some air forces for the primary reason of being my everyday shoes that were gonna get beat up.  They were size 10.  They started creasing pretty quickly.  Everyone knows some Nikes run big.  You know?  So today, right as we were packing some of the last stuff in to the truck, the lift that was being used to haul some of the heavier items was coming down and I was standing in the wrong place.  My foot was sitting underneath the lift and slowly I felt the lift lowering onto my foot and as the seconds past my toe was getting crushed by the lift.  Everybody recognized it when they saw I couldn’t get from under it and they quickly stopped the lift and raised it, so I could get my foot out.  I was in shock.  I thought I was done for…but I also felt nothing.  That’s because the lift didn’t get my toe.  It almost did, but it missed it by about a half a size…maybe less.  You get the picture?  If you’re a size 10, then you’re a size 10.  Don’t let anyone else try to tell you different.  And who knows…it might just save your life.