#cowboy-nurse-writing

[bun-ika]

Adenn realizes he is very in love with a certian blonde medic.

----

There must be different kinds of quiet, silence, peace. Adenn found himself pondering such things in the not so still jostle of brothers gathered in the clearing of the forest they had settled in only a few rotations prior to this moment.

Adenn allowed his gaze to wander over grimy plastoid, adorned with freshly earned scars the vode wore like the medals they had supposedly been awarded. Resting his eyes on a head of messy blonde curls, the man's lips quirked upwards upon the being that held his affection.

There had to be a better word to describe what emotions lay guarded beneath his ribcage, cushioned by tissue, blood, and bone.

All the things he would give gladly for his love.

Such bloody, gory love he had found himself in. Wading in the depths of red, washed out pink like pyjamas in Bunny's favorite color... The fabric held precious to the little medic, a sacred part of his very own individuality in a world where the men Adenn served with were demanded to be exactly alike.

Bunny had broken the mold from the very beginning. Pulled from his tube into a galaxy that sunk its icey shards into fragile bone, the man matched its chill with a shock of blonde hair and a slight frame that froze any lingering eyes.

Defective, Bunny had told Adenn what (they said) he was. Lucky, that he had been spared because of the path his training set him on. Thankful, that he had made it out, that he had brothers who cared about him, loved him for all he was, and wasn’t.

Special, different, perfect, Adenn had told him, sealed the whispered praise with a brush of lips.

I could never not adore you.

Unsaid words lingered on his lips, smile spreading wider over his cheeks as the blonde Adenn had been gazing at laughed over something one of his vode had said, head tilting back and catching the Mandalorian's eye with a grin.

I think I'm in love with you.

Eyes locked, Adenn matched the man's grin, leaning forward ever so slightly, swearing his little blonde had to see the dizzying flood of emotions his entire being seemed to be swept up in like some hurricane of adoration.

The blood rushing in his ears reminded Adenn that his own battle had since been concluded, the adrenaline and subsequent chemical release securing the hold his medic had over his heart, the words swelling in his chest, drawn out from behind his ribcage to speak their truth.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

[dailyfigures]

Random question: opinion on wedding dress figure versions?

And I do mean wedding DRESS versions. Not the wedding bikinis that so many companies make >.<

thank you for your question! :) personally i think wedding figures are often characters that are very popular amongst male characters and it kinda plays into the whole waifu thing. often these are either romance shows or fanservicey/ecchi shows, which are not the genres i watch so very few characters i like have wedding figures. ofcourse anyone can like wedding figures and there's usually nothing wrong with them, this is just my personal observation!

the only characters from shows i've seen that have a wedding figure are kanade from angel beats, junko & ai from zombie land saga and ofcourse miku. i don't love any of these figures so i don't think i'd personally own a wedding figure!

i actually don't really love any wedding figure (yes i just checked the whole wedding tag on mfc) but some i like based purely on aesthetics are muramasa and natalia (white is so beautiful on dark/tan skin), enterprise, azusa (this one is simple but i love the 2000s look of it), ranko, nekopara girls (I SAID based purely on aesthetics. if you ignore any controversy and pretend these are just random catgirl girlfriends they are very cute.) and sakura.

[angelicsoka]

THE HAT RULE, t. owens

word count | 1.7k words

pairings | tyler owens x meteorologist!fem!reader

summary | where tyler owens decides to show the reader what the hat rule is. 

warnings | MINORS DNI!! 18+ ONLY!! HEAVY smut! reader doesn’t know the hat rule. not proofread. lowercase intended. 

a/n | first of all, sorry for disappearing, i've had NO motivation to write on here, but i saw twisters yesterday and seeing glen powell in a cowboy hat changed me as a person, and also gave me motivation to write. i’ve never written a full smut so i apologize if this sucks, i've stepped out of my comfort zone for this one.

the first time you had ever encountered a tornado was a memory you were sure to never forget. growing up in new york meant rain and snow but no tornadoes. so when traveling to nebraska on a field trip in high school, you were unprepared when the sirens sounded, sending everyone into a frenzy. you had watched as the rain pelted from the sky, a funnel forming up above. you were mesmerized as your teacher pulled you to safety, a sort of thrill tearing through  your body. from that moment on, you knew what you wanted to do. you went to college for meteorology, graduating near top of your class before going onto to work at a local news station. but it never quite settled the feeling that something was missing, until you stumbled across tyler owens’ youtube channel. 

tyler owens had become a sensation, a daredevil who did more than just chase the storms, he rode into them. and that seemed to heighten that need of a thrill. so, you hit him up and to your surprise, he replied. and what had started out as a week off of work to storm chase with the daredevil, turned to going part time at your job and joining him on the road.

that was a season ago, and now you were sat at a dingy bar, sipping a beer with tyler and the team. the man himself was sat on the stool next to you, nursing his own beer and listening to lily speak. you ignored the slight butterflies that entered your stomach as he laughed. you had learned to never mix work and love, but something about tyler had you questioning that lesson. he looked mighty fine in his blue jeans and button up, supporting a cowboy’s hat on his head. you noticed your beer was gone, standing up you turned to your crew.

“i'm gonna get another beer, can i get anyone anything?” no’s were murmured around the group except for one.

“i could use another, how ‘bout i come with ya?” you shrugged, tyler getting up to walk with you. lily let out a low whistle, stopping at your glare. 

“be my guest.” you two walked over to the bar top, signaling the busy bartender. “can we get two more, when you get a sec?” the bartender nodded, going to make a few drinks before he could grab their bottles. 

“so, miss city girl, how you likin’ riding with us? ready to go back to the big apple yet?” tyler questioned, turning to look down at you slightly. damn the height difference.

“don’t think you’re getting rid of me that quick, i have a lot more storm chasing left in me, cowboy.” you winked, tyler laughing. you debated for just a moment before reaching up and taking the cowboy hat from his head.

“the hell you think you’re doing?” tyler questioned as you placed the hat on your own head, admiring your reflection on your phone.

“you wear this hat all the damn time, i just wanted to see if there was something special about it? maybe it has some magical powers or something.” the bartender came back around, beer bottles in hand. you thanked him, handing him some cash before turning back to tyler, who had an odd look in his eye. you quickly took off the hat, worried you had pissed him. you went to hand it back to him, when tyler shook his head:

“keep it on, it suits you.” tyler picked up his beer, beginning back to the table. the comment caused a light blush to dust your cheeks. shaking your head, you hoped it didn't show too much as you followed him back. you sat in your seat, confused by the odd looks you received from the crew. nobody said anything about the hat as the night went on, but that didn’t stop the odd looks.

by last call, it was you and tyler left of the crew. thankfully the bar was across the street from the motel, tyler paying the tab much to your protest, before setting off back to the motel. you had forgotten you still wore tyler’s hat upon your head, only remembering when you went to brush your hair from your eyes, your hand bumping the rim. “hey, do you know why everyone kept giving me weird looks after i put your hat on? and why boone and dani wouldn’t stop snickering?” tyler looked over to you as you climbed the stairs of the motel.

“you don't know?” you shook your head in response, tyler holding a bewildered look. “you don't know the hat rule?”

“there’s a hat rule?” tyler stopped at his door, which neighbors your’s and lily’s. “what?”

“you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy.” he deadpanned, your eyes widening and a heavy blush coating your cheeks. 

“oh my god! i promise i wasn’t trying to imply that or anything. not there’s anything wrong with you, because you’re– well you’re you, and–”  you fumbled over your words, stopping mid sentence when tyler laughed.

“hey, it's fine. if you weren’t trying to insinuate that, that’s fine. but if you were, well, now's your chance. and i’d be more than happy to show you how that rule works.” tyler walked closer, a minimal amount of space between you, just enough to allow you to choose whether you close that gap or leave. 

you stood there for a moment, stunned at his offer. and without much thought, you closed the gap, hands going to grip his face and pull him closer to you. his hands moved to your hips, fingers digging into the fabric of your shorts. the kiss was feverish, all unspoken feelings surfacing. tyler began to pull away much to your dismay, one hand leaving your hip to fish out his keys from his pocket as he moved his other arm to hold your waist. he unlocked the door with ease, pulling you inside and shutting the door before pushing you up against it, the hat falling as he did so. he went to town on your neck, enticing soft moans and whimpers from your lips. the way he sucked at your neck and how he had previously handled you had conjured up a pool of wetness in your panties. 

your arm wrapped around his neck, holding him to your throat, as your fingers tugged at his hair. he groaned against your skin, biting down ever so softly when you tugged on his hair. he gripped at your leg, pulling it up to give him better access to your cunt. he rubbed his clothed cock along you covered cunt, pleased with the moans that escaped your mouth.

“god, keep moaning like that and i might have to take you right here.” you blushed once more, pulling tyler to meet your lips once more. you pushed off the door, lips still connected to tyler’s as you blindly pushed him back to the bed. his legs hit the edge of the bed, tyler breaking the kiss as he pulled off your shirt, both of you kicking off your shoes and socks before lips were reattached once more. 

you pulled back, tyler unbutton his shirt as you began to work on his belt buckle. “woah, easy, pretty girl. you’ll get a taste, don’t worry. the night’s still young. but for now, i gotta show ya what happens when ya wear the hat.” tyler pulled off his shirt, walking to pick up the forgotten hat, placing it on your head. “this stays on.” you nodded, eyes hooded as tyler pulled your shorts and panties down. “you’re even more perfect than i had imagined.” before you could question him, tyler pulled his jeans off, his boxers next as his cock sprung up. tossing them to the side tyler pulled you onto his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed, “you sure ‘bout this? i don’t have any condoms.” tyler asked, different from how he just was. you nodded, kissing him softly.

“i’m on the pill, and i trust you.” tyler nodded, holding over his cock as he slowly guided it along your pussy. you held yourself up as tyler’s thumb rubbing your clit, enjoying your whimpers. “please, tyler.” you begged, tyler aligning his cock with your entrance before guiding you down. you hand went your hat as your head rested on tyler’s shoulder, almost pornographic moans escaping from your lips. “oh my god.” he slowly eased himself into you, whispering praises as he did so.

“god, feels like you were made for me.” your cunt hugged his cock beautifully. when his cock was fully in, he allowed you to get used to the stretch, “tell me when you're ready.” you stilled for a moment, adjusting to his size. you kissed and sucked on his neck, slowly beginning to rock your hips. “fuck, let’s get this off of ya.” tyler’s hands skillfully unclipped your bra, tossing it to the side, fingers ghosting over your perky nipples. you pulled off his shoulder, giving him better access to your tits. “you’re fuckin’ beautiful, darlin’.” tyler attached his mouth to one of your nipples, enticing a soft moan. you continued to ride him, hips moving faster as you chased your incoming orgasm. your left hand gripped tyler’s shoulder, fingernails digging into his bare skin as your right hand held onto the hat that adorned your head. 

as your orgasm inched closer and closer, your movements became more erratic, chasing your high. tyler moaned, whispering praises as your walls clenched around his cock. he knew you were close, mouth moving to your pulse point as he pounded into you, taking over. tyler clapped a hand over your mouth as your orgasm hit, muffling your screams so you didn't wake up your neighbors. his movements however did not slow as he worked you through your orgasm, chasing his own high. your legs trembled as he continued to pound into you, your second orgasm of the night approaching quickly. “fuck! fuck, ty-” you cut yourself off, body shaking as you hit your climax once more. tyler began to huff and moan, pulling you impossibly closer as he reached his own high. you blubbered, unable to form actual words as tyler’s hands roamed your body. you pulled back, kissing him roughly.

“goddamn,” he helped you off his cock, helping guide you onto the bed, “think you’ll be able to handle a round two?”

“don’t go thinking you can get rid of me that easily.” 

[sunnysidevans]

Ain't In California Anymore - T.Owens

Synopsis: After deciding to uproot your life for a change of scenery from San Diego California you decide to take a trauma nurse position in Tornado Alley. You don't expect to survive your first tornado let alone meet the resident cowboy tornado wrangler.

Pairing: Tyler Owens x Nurse!Reader

Warnings: 18+, mentions of extreme weather, lots of flirting - tyler owens is a warning in himself i mean c'mon.

The Request: Hiii :) I was wondering if I could request a Tyler Owen’s story. Where the reader is from California and had to relocate to Oklahoma because of her job in healthcare. But at an event or before going to work, there’s a tornado warning and she’s not sure what to do so Tyler protects her and makes sure she’s safe. But then the next day he visits her at work and asks her out?:)

authors note: to the sweet anon who requested this fic, please please I hope I have put words to your vision. & THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for this request as this is my first one! In the years I've been writing I did not ever expect this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and please enjoy this fic!! <33

The rain poured as you stood in the middle of San Diego Airport. The waves crashing on top of one another. Your life packed at your side as the announcements continued.

“Flight 214 to Oklahoma has been delayed two additional hours, an F.4 tornado has just landed in tornado alley. More updates to come”.

You sigh and sit back down against the window as the rain continues beating on the glass. Pulling the headphones from your bag and pulling the laptop out, you make yourself comfortable. After an additional six hours the plane was in the sky.

3AM before you would land in what the flight attended referred to as Tornado Alley.

The city was lit with skylights, covered in destruction. The F.4 tornado that landed hours earlier wiped half of the cities apart. You could see cars miles and miles away from where they probably were hours before. The flight attendant smiles as the plane lands, waving as you exited the plane.

“Welcome to Oklahoma” she grins as you follow the crowd out of the terminal. Looking around the airport it looked like nothing happened, everyone continued on their day as the world was in shambles.

Making your way outside you couldn’t believe the amount of debris in the roads. The odds of getting a cab were slim. “New to the area?” a voice says beside you, looking over you smile at the man with a kind smile.

You nod with a sigh, “I am, first few minutes as a matter of fact” he chuckles making his way to you, hand held out. “Well, Welcome to Oklahoma, I’m Javi” you grin, reaching out to shake his hand, “(y/n)”.

He looks you over before speaking again, “my best tip is to just keep watching, I’m sure you’ve been waiting a while, or… I could give you a ride?” he proposes as you smile slightly. “Truly? I don’t want to wait any longer, I start my job in” looking down at your watch you sigh. “Two hours” you chuckle as he nods with a kind smile. 

“What brings you to Oklahoma?” he asks, your mind is elsewhere as you see all the destruction that lined the streets. “Hm?" You ask as he asks again, “oh, I needed a change” you say with a smile. He nods continuing down the road in silence. “Where are you from originally?” he asks again, letting curiosity get the best of him.

“San Diego” he nods with a smile, “wow this is gonna be a change for you’ he notes as you chuckle, “totally”. He pulls into the hotel you were staying in, still standing. “Well good news is the hotel is still here” you chuckle, climbing out of the truck.

“Thank you so much for this, this definitely would not have happened if I was in San Diego. Though, you could've kidnapped me or something so” he chucklespulling your luggage from the truck bed.

“It's our southern charm” he grins, handing the bags to you, pulling a card from his back pocket. “Here, if you need anything” you look down at the card.

“Storm Par?” you ask looking back at him as he grins. “We chase tornados, at least to put it in non scientific terms” he smiles as you nod, shoving the card into your wallet. “Is that a normal thing here in Oklahoma?” he grins with a shrug. “There’s a lot of us out here if that's what you mean” he makes his way to his side of the truck.

“Good luck on your first day!” he smiles. You make your way inside waving as he drives off. Maybe Oklahoma wasn’t going to be so bad.

Mercy Hospital Oklahoma City. The letters buzzed as the energy drink dripped condensation on your palms. Walking through the emergency room doors you look around. “You look lost” a voice says with a grin, looking over you smile at the brunette.

“I’m (y/n)” you smile as she gasps, “oh my gosh! The trauma nurse from california!” she grins, holding a hand out to you, “I’m Natasha!” she smiles as you shake her extended hand. “Nice to meet you” she smiles, pulling you along beside her.

“Welcome to the crew, did you get in okay?” you chuckle with a shrug. “Depends on your definition of okay” she gasps as she helps you onto the elevator.

“I’ve only been here” looking down at your watch “for 3 hours, I got maybe an hour of sleep” she gasps. “I’m so sorry! We could’ve pushed back your start time” you shake your head.

“I am used to this being a nurse and all but now I have to adjust to tornados” she waves her hand with a chuckle. “You will get used to that” she grins, knocking on the door. “Just want you to meet our head nurses” the voice on the other end encourages you in. “Maria, this is (y/n), from California” she pulls her glasses off her nose and stands.

“Ah yes, our new trauma nurse” she walks around the desk, holding her hand out to you. “Nice to meet you Ma’am” you grin, shaking her hand.

An Oklahoma ER was so much different than a San Diego one. “How’s it going Cali?!” Natasha grins from her place at the nurses station. Pulling the latex gloves off your hands and tossing them into the trash beside you, you chuckle.

“This is so much different than California” you note, sitting down at the available computer to begin typing in medications. “I’m sure you see so much more there huh?” she asks as you nod. “I worked at a Navy hospital too so I saw so much” she nods as you continue on with typing.

“Ah yeah thats gonna do it, the most you will see here is a farming accident and even then the accident will be weeks old and a farmers wife shoved him into the ED” you chuckle, turning to her.

“Is that so? How about after tornadoes?” you ask as she moves to sit in the chair beside you. “Yes and no. We get a lot of people in sure as the ambo’s bring em but a lot of field nurses too” you nod, handing the next chart to the provider passing by you.

Within hours, beds were clearing until they weren’t and sirens began to wail. “All hands on deck people we have a multi-casualty car accident, multiple patients en route!” Maria yells down the hall  as everyone follows after her, multiple ambulances lined the med bay.

This was definitely not California anymore.

The lights from the diner sign buzzed as you shut the engine off the rental car. The dashboard flashing 3am. What was supposed to be an easy first day turned into a busy one. You climb out and make your way inside.

The smell of coffee brought a smile to your lips as you picked a secluded booth and sat down. After ordering with the waitress, you sat back with the daily newspaper,sipping on your coffee.

“Well, I didn’t expect to find you here” you look up at the voice, Javi stands with his hands on his hips. “Well I didn’t expect to see you either” you set the mug of coffee down. “How ya doin?” he asks with hands on his hips, you chuckle.

“Just got my ass kicked on my first day. What are you doing out here at 3am?” you ask as he nods, motioning to sit across from you, nodding he sits down. “Some field work” he notes as you hum. “So, what exactly is it you do?” you ask as he chuckles, smiling at the waitress.

“I study tornadoes, I find ways we can eventually stop them before they cause so much destruction” you nod slowly looking at him "So I chase it, i try to get as close to one as I can" he grins. “I’m sorry what?!” you ask as he laughs.

“I chase em to study em” he notes as he sips his own coffee with a smirk. “Who in their right mind chases tornadoes?!” you exclaim, a truck driver at the bar looking over at you with a snarl. “Crazy folk” Javi replies with a smile.

The waitress smiles and sets the plate of pancakes down in front of you. You nod with furrowed brows, “are you insane?” he laughs with a nod. “I am indeed” you sigh with a shake of your head, eating a piece of the pancake. “So there’s multiple people who chase tornadoes?” The conversation kept falling back to the one thing that fascinated you the most, tornadoes.

“Yep, there’s me and my company and there’s so many more, you will probably come across some in your time here” he reaches over and points to the newspaper on the table.

“That’s tyler owens, he’s out of kansas but he’s been hanging around here a lot lately. He calls himself the tornado wrangler”.

+

2 weeks.

It was two weeks before you heard the first siren. The local farmers market was always crowded on nice days. You continued browsing through the local fruits and vegetables when the first siren goes off.

Looking up from the fruit you had in hand, you noticed the booth owner on edge. With wide eyes they looked around frantically, you did as well, looking around as the world began to move in slow motion.

The wind chimes on another booth begin to sway. The world stopped and you stood in the middle of the chaos. Around you everyone begins to pick things up quickly and rush into the surrounding buildings.

You stood there as the wind began to scream. You could hear yelling around you but it was nothing compared to the sound of the wind. The sky was almost something out of a movie, looking up the clouds were dark. Something was coming, something bad. “Hey!” you can hear the yelling of one of the vendors.

In slow motion, you look up to the clouds as they opened and the rain began to pour. Blinking, you are stuck there in the middle of the street.

You had no idea how long you were there till you felt hands on your shoulders. “Hey! Hey!” they are shaking you, blinking when you look over. You knew his face.

Tyler Owens.

“Hey, listen to me, we can't stay here” he’s got a hand on your elbow encouraging you towards one of the buildings. The siren is louder and closer. Tyler's eyes shift to behind you and your curious eyes follow.

The tornado and it was moving quickly. His eyes are frantic as he quickly pulls your body into an alley.

Tripping over your feet, your cardigan was heavy on your skin as he looked at you. “I need you to trust me right now okay?” his shirt was heavy to his skin, water dripping down his nose. 

The concrete wall was rough against your skin.

You don’t remember when you even made it up against the concrete wall or how the wall of a man was in front of you or how your knuckles were sore from the grip you had on his once plaid shirt.

Your eyes open, looking around frantically as you feel your pulse quicken. Panting you are pushing the hairs off your forehead.

You just survived your first tornado.

The city was quiet. You fall to your knees, continuing to try and catch your breath. “Hey, Hey” you hear his voice again as you begin to sob. How could you be crying right now?

“It’s okay hey” his hand is on your back, rubbing soothing circles on your spine.

“You’re okay” he encourages you to sit back against the wall. You can hear the screams of others, finding their lives uprooted. He sits down in front of you, legs crossed and hands on your own knees as your breathing slowly evens out. “There ya go” his thumb is running over your knee gently in comforting circles, looking over your face.

“Is this your first tornado? “He chuckles as you nod frantically. “Oh shit” the smirk is off his face quickly as he stands, helping you up.

You watch as all of the first responder vehicles are filing in. You noticed the white ram and other Storm Par trucks that follow.

“Tyler!” looking over at the voice, a man is standing at the end of the alley. “Oh thank god!” he yells, grabbing the walkie off his hip and rushing to the two of you.

“Boone!” Tyler meets him halfway, hugging him tightly. Tyler turns back to where you stood, you were gone.

Tyler looks around the alley frantically. He then looks down and finds your badge. 

Rushing out of the alley, you frantically look for the Storm Par truck. “Javi!” you yell, rushing to him over all the debris. “(y/n)?!” he meets you halfway, holding a hand out to help you over a pile of what was a vendor booth.

He can see the tears on your face as you pant, gripping his hand tightly. “How can I help?! Do you have first aid in that truck?” He admired your willingness to help but he could also see you were soaking wet and riddled with fear.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks as you shake your head, “there's no time for that, people need help!” you point behind you.

Pulling your soaked cardigan off you quickly push past him to the truck, rummaging through it. “Hey,hey” he is quick to grab your elbow.

You had an open cut on your forehead and a couple scrapes but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.

“Let me help Javi” you whisper, fear in your eyes as he nods slowly. “Okay, okay” he holds his hands up in defense as you begin to move through the debris to find people that need help.

+

The hospital was overflowing with people. You continue to push through your bag as you smile at the security guard at the door, “mornin steve” he chuckles. “It’s 3pm young lady” you grin, looking over at him with a shrug, “morning for me”. He nods as he sits back in the chair, watching over the ER.

“Cali!” Natasha stands from her chair with a grin. “Oh my god!” she is quick to come around the counter to stop in front of you.

“What happened to you?” with her hands on your chin she is turning your head in multiple directions. “I uh-” you bit your lip, how do you explain this?.

“I got caught in a tornado?” she gasps, grabbing your elbow and pulling you into a room. “You did what?!” She is quick to grab gloves and pull them on. “I froze Nat” you whisper, looking up at her “it came so fast and I must’ve hit my head” you shrug.

She sighs, pulling the band-aid you had on your forehead off. “You don’t need stitches” she tsks, cleaning it gently with an alcohol pad as you wince. “Tyler Owens was there” you mumble as she stops, looking at you “that heart-throb out of kansas?”.

You can’t help the chuckle you let out, nodding. “He helped me, it was really nice of him” she nods. Putting the bandage on your forehead, she pulls the gloves off and tosses them into the trash.

“Unrelated to this” you mention as she crosses her arms with a raise of her brow. “I lost my badge I think” she shakes her head, “we can get you another no problem there”. She smiles, “now let's get you clocked in, we’ve got a busy day!”. 

The overhead speaker picked up with a squeak. “Paging (y/n) (y/l/n) to the front desk, paging (y/n)(y/l/n)” you furrow your brows, setting the pen down and looking over at Natasha and James. “What is that about?” you ask, standing from your chair as the two of them shrug.

Steve walks in with a grin, “(y/n)”. Looking over at him, your eyes can't help but to fall to the man beside him.

Pulling the white stetson from his head, Tyler Owens smiles shyly with flowers in his hand and your badge in the other.

“Oooooooo” you snap your head over to Natasha and James with wide eyes. “Sorry to drop in on you like this Ma’am” you choke, looking over at Tyler. His smile grows as you come around the counter. The green scrubs were cute but you were the most beautiful thing he had seen since he saw his first tornado.

“I think I have something that belongs to you” he holds the badge out on the dainty badge reel. You sigh with a smile, looking up at him going to take it from him but he pulls it back.

You scoff, looking up at him, “that belongs to me”. He smirks, shaking his head “nope, you have to ask nicely” he smirks as you groan, pulling him into an exam room and shutting the door.

As you do Natasha and James both sending you thumbs up from the nurses station.

"What gives you the right?” crossing your arms over your chest, he grins. “You have to ask nicely, that's what we do round here city gal” he smirks as your eyes widen. “City girl?” he nods, leaning back against the bed, crossing his leg over the other.

“You don’t know anything about me Owens” he raises a brow, “is that so?” he twirls the badge around his pointer finger. “I know you’re from California, San Diego to be exact” he raises his brow as you sigh. “Javi” you mumble under your breath as he nods. “Correct” he smirks looking at you through his lashes.

“Can I please have my badge back? I have to get back to work” he nods, hands held up in defense, pushing off the bed and walking back to stand in front of you. Looking up at him, you can’t help but to be intoxicated by the smell of his cologne.

He looks down at you, putting the stetson back on his head with a smirk. “Agree to a date, you can have the badge” you scoff. “Excuse me?” he nods, holding the badge between your bodies.

“A date for the badge” you sigh, nodding. “Fine, one” he grins, dropping the badge in your palm. Opening the door, you follow him out, he yells over his shoulder “see you soon California!” 

+

It became traditional for you to sit in the back booth of the diner down the road from the hospital. Every morning you’d sit with the local newspaper. Learning your new home.

It’s how Tyler Owens found you.

He’d been to the hospital every single day to officially ask you out on your date. Except he either missed you or your shift hadn’t started yet. The bell above the door rings as multiple people shuffle through the door.

Looking up from your cup of coffee you see the white stetson. Sinking down in the booth, you attempt to hide yourself with the newspaper.

“I’m telling you lil, you can get it in the air with just a few minor adjustments” you tried not to listen, “there’s nothing wrong with it boone” lily, you assumed replied.

Looking back down at the local events in the paper, the seat across from you shifts and you can hear the air deflate from the plastic cushion.

“California, I’ve been lookin for you” slamming the newspaper down on the table, Tyler can’t help the shit-eating grin that grows on his face. “Tyler” you sigh, sitting up in the seat. “I owe you, no- you owe me a date” he grins.

“First, you know my name is not California” you address as he sits back in the seat, reaching over to grab your unoccupied cup of coffee.

He hums as you continue with a scoff. “Second, you are the one who left me high and dry” he chuckles with a shake of his head, “no ma’am”. You sigh, pulling your mug out of his hand sitting back with it between your palms. “So, when?” you challenge with brows raised.

“Tomorrow, do you work then?” he asks as you shake your head. “I actually have tomorrow off” he grins, “perfect, meet me here at about 7?” he asks as you nod slowly. “7 it is, what should i wear?” he taps his chin gently then grins.

“Casual but whatever you are comfortable in” he smiles, standing from the booth and tipping his hat towards you. The group of his friends hoot and holler as he makes his way back to them.

“That boy seems really into you” Jo, the waitress grins as she pours your cup of coffee. “Is that so?” you ask as she nods, “my husband was the same way, billy absolutely did not give up” she smiles sadly.

“Am I crazy?” you ask her as she shakes her head, “nowhere close sweetheart” she pats the top of your head as she approaches their table. You watch as the group continues to talk among themselves, ordering with Jo and making her laugh.

You watched the clock all day long. Chewing your lip, you look at Jo, standing in the diner. “Is it too much?” you ask, nervously picking at the blouse you chose to wear. She chuckles, shaking her head with a soft smile. “You look beautiful honey” she reaches over to take your hand, “try and have fun okay? You never know” she squeezes your hand gently.

Nodding you smile at her, “thank you for everything” she grins. At almost 7 on the dot the red Dodge Ram pulled into the parking lot of the diner. You smile from the steps, standing in the outfit you chose.

He grins, climbing out of the truck. Tyler opted for a pale blue button up and a brown stetson opposed to the white. “No white hat today?” you tilt your head as he approaches you, small bouquet of flowers in hand. You look down at them first with a small smile. “Thought I’d spice it up for ya” he winks handing the bouquet over to you.

“For you California” you smile, taking them from his outstretched hand. “They’re beautiful,” he smiles, holding his arm out towards you. “So are you” he walks you to the truck, opening the door to help you inside.

Looking around the truck, you admire everything from the center console to the straps for seat belts. Tyler shuts the door after you, making his way around and climbing into the driver seat.

Sitting back in the seat you can’t help but let Jo’s words play in your mind. She stands in the window with a smile, watching as the truck pulls out the parking lot. 

The stars lit up the night sky of Oklahoma. Sitting on the top of tyler's truck, eyes glued to the sky. “What brought you to Oklahoma?” His voice is soft as he continues to eat the slice of pie he brought.

“A position opened for a trauma nurse and truthfully I was over the city life” you sigh, turning to face him with a shy smile. “Trauma nurse huh?” he asks, offering you a piece of the pie on the fork. Taking the fork, you eat the piece and nod. “I was a Trauma nurse at a Navy hospital in San Diego” handing the fork back over to him, he looked at you with a small smile.

“I see,” he nods, going back to the pie. “Why do you wrangle tornadoes?” you ask as he chuckles softly. “When I was about eight years old, I saw my first one,” he continued, picking at the pie crust, looking back up at you. “It was beautiful. Sounds crazy I’m sure but I wanted to know more” he admits, looking back out to the setting sun. “So, you went and learned more?” you ask as he nods with a chuckle.

“I started college, never finished, found the thrill much more fun than a textbook” he looks over at you with a smile. The setting sun made his green eyes almost greener.

“You may have to take me someday,” you admit, leaning against him gently. “This mean you’re sticking around Cali?” he grins, looking down at you.

You nod slowly, “yeah, yeah I think I might be around for a while” you look up at him with a smile.

+

Walking through the ED door, you smile, passing by Steve. He grins, “good mornin young lady” he tips his hat as you wave. It had been two months since you landed in Oklahoma. Natasha smirks from the nurses station, arms across her chest with. “Hello to you too” you reply walking past the nurses station towards the locker room.

After setting your things inside your locker, you make your way back to the nurses station. “Something came for you” James grumbles from his seat, sipping on what you could guess was his second red bull of the day.

“Oh?” Natasha smirks as she holds the vase of wildflowers out to you. You smile, taking them from her to gently set down to read the card:

“To Cali,

If you feel it, Chase it. We can chase it anytime. Glad you are staying for a while ;)

Tyler xo”

You can’t help but laugh. The two of your friends look over as you grin, laughing harder. “They’re from Tyler” Natasha smirks with raised brow.

“I think you’ve got yourself a boyfriend” you chuckle, shoving the card back into the flowers.

Maybe Oklahoma wasn’t going to be that bad.

as always, likes, comments and reblogs are always welcomed! please don't steal any of my work or repost on anyother platforms.

If you enjoyed this fic you can find many more in my Library which is

here.

[buddie-fic-recs-this-way]

what are your fav buddie au’s? i’m looking for like cute/ mild angst but with a happy ending? for reference i like the au’s where neither one of them is a firefighter, like they’re a chef or a barista or a teacher, stuff like that! but i also like when one of them is a firefighter and one isn’t! honestly im not picky i’m just on a “fluff buddie getting together au” kick right now lol!!!❤️❤️❤️

well you have come to the right place! au's my most beloved. i'm also known as the au queen 😂 (since i'm combining these asks, i'll put which one's are angsty) i tried to stick to more “normal jobs” so i hope these are what y’all are looking for <33 as always if anyone else has other recs, please feel free to add them!

pick a star on the dark horizon (follow the light) Bob_loblaws_lawblog @bi-buckrights (army buddie/angsty)

winner takes it all buddiefication (pumpkincreamcoldbrew) | (hockey buck/baseball player eddie/ light angst)

now our love lives in the radio | heartbeatdiaz @loserdiaz (college au/ radio host buck/ fluffy)

traded | Princessfbi @princessfbi (hockey buck/ bartender eddie/ light angst)

falling for you (when you're miles away) | MonsterRae1 @monsterrae1 (long distance relationship/ buck is a course teacher for LAFD/ angst)

cordolia verse (bakery au) | MonsterRae1 @monsterrae1 (baker!eddie/barista!buck/ fluff)

kiss me before it's over (if only for a minute) | Bob_loblaws_lawblog @bi-buckrights (baseball buddie/light angst)

come love, | colonoscopys (business man buck meets bodyguard eddie/ angsty)

don't play games (come my way) | letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (buisnessmen buddie/light angst)

a wednesday in a café (i watched it begin again) | MonsterRae1 @monsterrae1 (nurse!eddie/firefighter buck/coffee shop au/fluff)

made your mark on me (a golden tattoo) | heartbeatdiaz @loserdiaz (tattoo artist!eddie/fluffy)

wastin' my time when it was always you |heartbeatdiaz @loserdiaz (childhood friends to lovers/navy seal buck/angsty)

eyes like sinking ships (in waters so inviting) |heartbeatdiaz @loserdiaz (lifeguard!buck/more fluff than angst)

falling slowly; sing your melody (i’ll sing it loud) |Princessfbi @princessfbi (musician!buck/bodyguard!eddie/angsty)

hearts, hooves, and healing | mansikka @redlightsandicedtea (neither are firefighters/horse sanctuary/fluffy)

your name is written in the sand | lecornergirl @clusterbuck (lifeguard!buck/fluffy)

let my ink stain your pages |letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (author!buck/detective!eddie/fluff & angst)

steppin' into fate | r_holland @onward--upward (hockey buddie/fluff & angst)

i don't mind waiting (if it's for you) | Princessfbi @princessfbi (detective!eddie/bartender!buck/angsty)

a picture is worth a thousand words (but love is undefinable) |extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @extasiswings @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (model!buck/photographer!eddie)

teardrops could be bottled | Princessfbi @princessfbi (model!buck/photographer!eddie)

string of hearts...| ReallySmartLadyMarieCurie (plant shop owner buck/firefighter eddie/fluff)

what if you're someone i just want around... |ReallySmartLadyMarieCurie (boxer!eddie/firefighter buck/angsty)

pin me to the wall, i'm an art piece | whiskis @angela-feelstoomuch (models buddie/fluff & angst)

cowboys, jorts and building shit |Ineedapuppyandsomevodka (houseflipper!buck/carpenter!eddie/fluffy) @ineedapuppyandsomevodka

frequent flyer | whileyouresleeping @whileyoursleeping (eddie is a firefighter/buck is not/fluff)

coastlines | browney3dgirl6 (surfer-shopowner!eddie/firefighter buck/ agnsty) a lil self promo; i would list more but 99% of what i write is au's like this 😅 if you want me to make a separate post of all of them, just lmk 🫶🏻)

[hotpinkstars]

Since we all love crumbs of angst every now and then:

Boothill being a dad is kinda bittersweet on it's own given his past.

But what if-

He lost his s/o due to labor complications. Another person on the list of people he lost out of nowhere.

LOSS - boothill x reader

- you pass away giving birth to your child.

- hi guys im sick 🤒 and i feel like i'm going to pass out but i decided to write 👍 this ask broke me but i just had to write it and i have no regrets... guys i was gonna write angst anyway but this one. this.

- major character death, hurt no comfort, written by someone who has never had a baby or been pregnant, pre-cyborg boothill wc 863

You have reached your due date, leaving both you and Boothill on your toes.

You’ve have a specifically rough pregnancy in itself, being horribly sick in the middle of it, really bad pain for the majority of it, and you were absolutely ready to get this baby out of you.

It pained Boothill to see you in so much agony, so he wishes the same, too. There's only so much he can do when it comes to how painful and hard your pregnancy was. 

So, when he was awoken to moaning and the sight of you leaning up against the headboard at around 2 in the morning, he was excited, but also really nervous. If your pregnancy was harsh, how bad would your labor be?

When you saw him wake up, you immediately gripped his arm, holding onto it for dear life before he could even register the situation unfolding before him. Tears were streaming down your face, little gasps and moans coming from your chapped lips every once in a while.

“What’s going on?” He asked, groggy and barely capable of opening his eyes. You fall into his embrace, crying lightly into his shoulder. 

“It hurts,” you manage to choke out, trying to get as much air in and out as you can.

“Is it baby time?” He sat up, a glimmer in his now wide eyes. You nod, clutching his shoulders and leaning back into the pillow. At the same time he was excited, he was also indescribably nervous. He wasted no time in readying himself to take you to the hospital. 

He ran around your shared ranch, preparing everything possible after helping you walk to the couch so you were in a less stuffy space. He draped a light blanket over your form, occasionally sitting with you while you’re fighting a contraction. 

He got you to the hospital alright, which was a success in his eyes. The only thing he couldn’t do was take your pain away, and it pulled at his heart in a horrible way. The amount of “‘M sorry, sugar,” he whispered on the way to the hospital would be more than countable on both hands.

So now, with you in the nurses hands, all he had to do was help you through contractions, and wait until his baby was born.

He was confident in your abilities to give birth to a healthy baby, and he was also confident in your capabilities of rebounding from the birth. That was, until your pulse dropped.

Thankfully, a nurse was checking how dilated you were, and noticed your breathing pattern was very… labored. He understood something was wrong when she stopped midway through checking you to come up to give you an oxygen mask, and telling you to breathe before frantically finding other nurses. While a bunch of professionals crowd around you, someone pulls him aside. 

“You’re the husband, yes?” The nurse asked, sitting down to type away on a keyboard. He nodded, fidgeting with his fingers while he rested his forearms on top of the counter. 

“Is she gonna be alright?” He asked, some uncertainty laced within his accent, making it thicker. 

The nurse hesitated and stumbled over her words. “I’m not entirely sure,” she managed to get out, crushing the cowboys' already strained heart. “You saw her state, and we're certainly going to have to perform a c-section. She’s much too weak for a vaginal birth.”

He nodded slowly. “When do I get to see her again?”

“You can now if you want to. There's just going to be a lot of nurses in there, that's all.” 

So in the room he goes. He doesn’t want to miss out on anything, even if you’re extremely unstable and barely breathing. He walks in and kneels right by the side of your head, watching as your eyes crack open in the slightest, smiling through your oxygen mask. 

“You’ll be alright, sugar,” he whispered before kissing your forehead. “It’ll all be alright.”

Famous last words.

You, for a matter of fact, were not alright. You could barely even keep your eyes open as they hand Boothill your baby. They were bloodshot, and very exhausted. As nurses were trying to stitch you up, your vision turned to black.

They escorted Boothill and your child out of the room and into a separate room as they try to help you once more. But nothing was working. Your heart had stopped beating, and the oxygen mask was no longer necessary. 

When the news was broken to Boothill, he instantly broke down. A nurse took the baby into a separate part of the unit so she could be properly treated, and he rushed back over to your room with tears flooding his eyes to see if he could catch one final glimpse of you. 

You were deathly pale, laying stiff on the bed, no life left in your body. He once again started to break down before being told to head home for the night, to get as much rest as he could and to come back in the morning. 

Well, he was a father, but his daughter no longer had the mother she deserved.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Save a horse, ride a cowboy | Chad Meeks Martin x Reader

Summary: You make a move on Chad and end up in an empty bedroom with his cowboy hat on, riding another kind of horse

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: smut, p + v action,

Request: Can you write Chad in his little cowboy costume and reader riding him? Maybe she can wear his hat while doing so?

my taglists are here + you can requests here at any time

—

You met Chad through his sister Mindy. She and you had classes together at Blackmore university and became friends through your passion for horror movies.

One evening, you were in her dorm, catching up on the latest horror releases, when Chad stopped by and asked for five dollars. Mindy had mentioned having a twin brother before, but you didn’t expect him to be the tall and handsome type.

Unfortunately for him, Mindy didn’t have five dollars to give him — but you did.

‘’I can’t take that,’’ Chad said with a short shake of his head, refusing your money. He had no problem taking it from Mindy, but his sister’s friend who he didn’t know? He couldn’t. ‘’It’s your money. You might need it.’’

‘’I don’t need it. You do.’’ You held the folded dollar bill between your fingers, insisting. ‘’Take it.’’

Chad sighed and finally accepted. ‘’I’ll pay you back next week,’’ he promised.

You slipped the money in his jacket’s pocket, then looked up at him with a flirtatious smile. ‘’Let’s make another deal. You keep the money, but you give me your number?’’

His mouth curled into a soft smile, eyebrows rising, getting on the same page as you. ‘’Alright. Deal.’’ He took your phone and typed his number as you bit your lower lip, failing to suppress a smirk. ‘’Text me later?’’

When you returned to the couch to get back to the movie, Mindy made a gagging sound, recognizing the flirty look in her brother’s eyes.

A few weeks — and several late night conversations and R-rated pics — later, you ran into Chad at a Halloween party on campus. He was dressed as a cowboy, with only a bandana around his neck and stupid straw cowboy hat for accessories. Your breath caught in your throat. Fuck, he looked hot.

‘’I can’t believe we’re sitting here on fucking Halloween,’’ Mindy complained, taking a sip of her beer. ‘’We should be having a horror movie marathon and stuffing our faces in candies. That’s what Halloween is about. Not some frat party where everyone is dressed as a sexy version of generic costumes.’’

Although you were sitting right beside her, you weren't listening much. Your attention and eyes were drawn to her brother, watching intently as he played beer-pong with some frat boys — and easily kicked their asses. Every time he threw the ball, his bicep would flex and he would bite his lip in concentration before.

‘’Y/N? Are you listening to me?’’ Mindy’s eyes followed your line of vision, confirming that you were in fact not listening, and snapped you out. ‘’Please stop ogling my brother. I can feel the beer I drank coming up my throat.’’

You brought your red cup to your lips, averting your eyes from Chad. ‘’I’m not—’’

Mindy rolled her eyes. ‘’Oh, please. He’s been asking me all week if you would be coming to the frat party.’’

You heard cheering coming from the beer pong table and saw that Chad had — again — won. You smiled, but it fell shortly after when you saw a blonde in a sexy nurse costume clinging to his side, tapping him on the upper arm and no-so-subtly feeling his bicep. She leaned closer, her back turned to the other boys, and whispered something to Chad.

You were boiling with jealousy.

‘’I’m gonna get another drink,’’ you declared, standing from the couch. ‘’Be right back.’’

Mindy scoffed, watching you striding in her brother’s direction. ‘’No you won’t!’’

She was right.

When you started college, you vowed to yourself to never start a fight over a boy, but tonight, nothing was gonna stop you. This fake nurse was playing in your lane and you couldn't lose.

You quickly schemed, letting strategy set the scene, and casually walked by Chad, making sure to brush his arm when passing by, laying the groundwork. And then, just like clockwork, the dominoes cascaded in a line.

His attention shifted away from the blonde, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. ‘’Hey. I didn’t know you were coming.’’ His body was inclined toward you, a sign that the other girl was forgotten.

You brushed a finger along the seam of his turquoise bandana. ‘’Nice costume. Were you on a tight budget?’’

Chad laughed, not at all offended by your quip at his financial situation.

The blonde girl grabbed Chad’s arm again, rudely interrupting your exchange. ‘’Are we gonna go upstairs?’’ she asked, leaning forward in an attempt to flash more of her cleavage.

Unfortunately for her, Chad brushed her off, having only eyes for you. He put an arm behind your shoulder and led you away. You ended up in the kitchen, sitting on the counter while Chad was mixing drinks. From this new height, you had a better close up of his face; the perfectness of his eyebrows, the two scars on his cheek and over top lip. Those lips — you wanted to kiss him.

‘’Cherry or orange?’’ he asked, holding two liquor bottles.

‘’Cherry.’’ Always cherry.

Chad put down the orange one and poured the other one into cups. While he was doing so, you took advantage of his inattention to steal his hat and put it on your head.

In rodeo, there was a few rules and superstitions about cowboy hats. One of them was: never let someone wear your hat unless you plan on taking them home.

He looked up, his expression lustful at the sight of you in his cowboy hat. ‘’You’re gonna be my cowgirl tonight?’’ he asked, a finger under your chin to look you in the eyes.

The moment between leaving the kitchen and getting to an empty bedroom upstairs was a blur to you. All you knew was that Chad’s mouth crashed on yours the second the bedroom door shut, backing you against it. He would've taken you to his dorm, but he didn’t want to risk Ethan coming in and ruining the moment. Having a roommate fucking sucked.

His hands were on your hips and face, pulling you closer and kissing you with a reciprocated burning passion. You could feel the pulse of his heartbeat as his bare chest was pressed against you, warm and hard. Muscles were usually not your thing, but Chad made you want to trail your tongue over his abs and pecs.

If Mindy were to hear you, she would vomit.

A slight squeak left your lips as your feet left the floor and Chad’s hands grabbed your thighs. Your arms immediately wrapped around his neck, breaking the kiss for half a second. He chuckled and your back left the door as Chad carried you to the bed, sitting down with you over his lap.

You could feel his hard cock straining against his pants, right under your ass. Arousal dampened your panties and your core tightened.

Chad cursed under his breath as you rolled your hips down, his eyes fluttered slightly at the pressure.

His mouth trailed to your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses as you ran your hands over his chest, feeling the slopes of his muscles. You’ve been wanting to do that since he sent you that shirtless selfie taken in a bathroom mirror, towel very low on his hips. Good thing your roommate was not home, you had never fetched your vibrator faster.

The room was getting hot, figuratively and factually. Your hands left Chad’s body and moved to unbutton your shirt. Chad pressed a last kiss to your jaw and pulled back, his eyes following the movement hungrily. He took a sharp inhale when you revealed your bra, then reclaimed your lips as you reached for the clasp in the back and let both garments fall.

Without disconnecting your mouths, one of his hands came up to cup your breast, palming the soft flesh. His touch was gentle, and the smile etched on his lips boy-ish. He couldn’t wait to watch them bounce and jiggle when you’ll be riding his cock. Chad grunted at the idea. His erection was pulsing beneath his jeans, desperately wanting free.

As if you had read his thoughts, you reached to undo his belt and unzip his pants, pulling his cock out and making Chad moan when you brushed your thumb over the tip.

‘’Ah, fuck.’’ He was so sensitive and needy.

You wanted to take him into your mouth all the way down and swallowing it whole until the tip hit the back of your throat, flick your tongue at the tip and lick all the pre-cum leaking like it was birthday cake icing, but whoever’s room this was would come banging on the door at some point and you’d really hate to not have gotten to the fun part yet.

Standing, you rid yourself of your clothes as Chad did the same.

Ignoring your body insecurities, you shifted your gaze to him, taking him in in all his naked glory, and he tapped his lap in invitation. ‘’Ready for the rodeo, babydoll?’’

You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh to run out of the room. Why did a good looking man like Chad have to have a dad-like sense of humor? You really can’t have it all, uh?

Ignoring the terrible joke, you pushed him down on his back and clambered onto his lap. His mouth turned up at the corner, his eyes raking over your breasts as they rose and fell. Your nipples were pointed proudly towards him, begging for attention. Chad took one of the buds between his fingers and pinched lightly, eliciting a moan from you.

He had priorly gotten a condom from his wallet and put it on to save time. Smart thinking.

You took his hard cock into your hand and brushed the tip against your pussy from your entrance to your clit, smearing your wetness.

Chad‘s eyes fluttered closed at your teasing. You did it again and the boy beneath you had to hold his hands down to not push you down on his cock. ‘’Fuck, you’re gonna kill me.’’

‘’That would be unfortunate, would it?’’ you said, lining Chad’s erection and lowering yourself on his cock under his watchful eyes.

He groaned as he felt your walls wrap around him, warm and snug. One of his hands trailed down the plane of your back, coming down to cup the flesh of your ass and thighs, grabbing at anything he could get. You raised your hips and slowly sunk back down, feeling so full.

You had fantasized about this moment before, alone in your bed. You had imagined how good Chad would feel inside you, how full he would make you feel. A mix of your fingers and your imagination had to be used to mimic the sensation — and even then, it didn’t compare to this.

Chad moved his hips involuntarily and you both moaned, the cowboy hat almost falling off when you tipped your head back. ‘’Shit, sorry. I didn’t—’’

You shook your head and told him to do it again.

A rush of pleasure shot through your body as you began to move your hips at a faster pace. The room quickly became a mess of panting, moanings, skin slapping and various other sounds.

One of Chad’s hands had glided to your clit and started to play with it, adding to your pleasure every time you were meeting his thrusts. You could feel your orgasm coming, spasming around his cock. Soon enough, a wave of intense pleasure flowed through your body, this time losing your hat as you threw your head back. 

Chad followed, joining you in your orgasm and filling the condom, his thighs clenching and fingers squeezing your cheek hard enough to leave marks. 

You took a minute to recover, both of you panting heavily on the bed.

‘’I don’t know much about rodeo, but cowboys lose points if their hat falls off,’’ Chad said, earning a hard slap on his chest.

—

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny 

[sarahsmi13s]

Rodeo

(not my gif)

pairing: robert ‘bob’ floyd x pilot!reader (call sign: rodeo)

characters: bob floyd, reader, dagger squad, penny benjamin, pete mitchell, some dick named john and his friends (who aren’t necessarily dicks)

warnings: fluffy bob, bob in a cowboy hat, fighting, drinking (of age), suggestive, i believe that’s it

word count: ~2.2k

a/n: this came in second place, but i love it just the same. and i’m very close to writing a part 2 for this ;)

quick summary: when your relationship with bob is reveal to the squad, hangman can’t help but wait for bob to stake his claim on you.

*************

You sat in the Hard Deck, nursing your beer and playing pool with Phoenix when the bell chimed.

You glanced up and saw the Texan himself walk in, hat on and everything.

“Hangman, what the hell are you wearing?” Phoenix asked, leaning on her cue. You looked him up and down, chuckling when you heard his response, “I wear this all the time.” His accent had gotten thicker after visiting his family.

You had all just visited your families for Christmas. It was only two weeks but it had given you all plenty of time to slip back into your old accents.

“Nice buckle, Bagman,” Rooster commented, obviously teasing the fact that the buckle looked like it weighed down the front of his pants.

Jake puffed out his chest, a smile gracing his features, “Thank ya, Chicken. Thought I’d bring it back with me, I ain’t worn one in a while.” Rooster sipped his beer, “You get it at Bass Pro or something?” Jake’s face fell and you couldn’t help but laugh. “You did not jus’ ask me that.”

You glanced at it, looking at the details. 

“You rode?” Hangman turned to you, his smile returning, “Yeah, best there was.” You hummed, sipping your beer before sitting it down to line up your shot, “What made you quit?” “I wanted somethin’ different for myself. My older brother rode, my dad rode. I did it for the adrenaline, so I thought maybe I could get my high while doin’ somethin’ that had more meaning.”

Before you could retort, Jake had looked at Bob. 

“Since when do you wear hats?” You smiled glancing back at the WSO, who was wearing a reddish-brown felt cowboy hat, before looking back and catching the way his pilot looked at you. “Well, Bagman, you ain’t the only one that grabbed something from home.” Jake nodded in mutual respect before looking back at you.

He took a quick glance down at your belt line, seeing the lights reflect off your own buckle.

“You rode too?” You nodded, taking the final shot of the game, “8-ball far left corner pocket.” You gesture with the cue before taking the winning shot. “That’s game Phee.” Nat rolled her eyes and slipped you a 20.

“So, what was your event?” “Barrel racin’.” “Were you good?” “Best there was,” you winked and sat next to Bob. “How’d you think I gained the name Rodeo?”

Hangman donned his signature smirk, “I could think of a lot of things.” You shoved him, “You’re gross.” “Come on, Ro. That was funny.” Bob shook his head and draped his arm behind you on the booth.

“What made you quit?” Hangman asked as he slipped into the seat across from you. You sighed, “I raced for nearly my whole life. My brother Bryan did too. I could say I got out for the same reason you did, cause it wouldn’t be a lie. But I was always just Bryan's kid sister, or Darrel L/N’s daughter. I made somewhat of a name for myself, but by the time people saw me as me-”

You shrugged, sighing, “I didn’t enjoy it anymore. It became more about the trophies than the experience. So I decided to be the best at somethin’ I was proud of. That could give me a family, like the rodeo used to.”

Jake nodded in understanding, he patted your shoulder before moving on to bother Rooster and Coyote.

Bob sighed and let his arm fall around you and pulled you close to his side. “You didn’t tell me that.” You looked up at him, “Sure I did. Did I not?” He shook his head, “No, and you know I listen to every word you have to say.” You scrunch your nose, “I swear I told you.” He shook his head, “Nope.” You pouted, “Oh, well now you know.” He nodded, “That I do.”

You both smiled and he pressed a kiss to your lips. “Bob-” “I know Y/N, I just-” You cut him off by grabbing his shirt and kissing him again. “I’m tired of hiding it too.”

********

Meanwhile, everyone was watching the two of you.

“I can’t hear a word they’re sayin’,” Hangman said, straining a little to hear you both better. “Dude, when is that gonna go away?” Phoenix asked, in reference to his accent.

“Oh, it’s always there, trust me. It’s normally strong when he's drunk or really pissed,” Coyote confirmed, laughing a little.

“Plus, you never complain about Rodeo’s accent,” Jake commented. “Yeah, but it’s cute on her and gets Bob all flustered.” The group hummed in agreement before turning back to the (no-longer) secret couple in the booth.

They watched Bob kiss you, say a few words before being pulled in again.

“Damn, when will it be my turn?” Omaha asked, shaking his head. 

“Bob is so in love with her it isn’t even funny,” Phoenix revealed. “He always talks about her, and they went to see each other's families over our break.” “Really?” Yale asked, crossing his arms.

Phoenix nodded, “He’s been in love with her since the mission in May last year. And I’m sure it’s the same case with her.” Halo nodded, “Yeah, I had to listen to her talk about him all the time. And then Bob would talk to me if you were anywhere within earshot of Y/N. He’s fallen hard, they both have.”

Jake shook his head, his eyes trained on the couple as they talked, “We don’t know how in love he is with her though.”

Everyone just scoffed, “Do you not see how they are looking at each other right now?” Fanboy asked, looking at his fellow WSO and his second best friend. “It’s painfully obvious.”

Jake scoffed, “Cowboys have a special way of tellin’ each other a girl is off limits, other than a ring and a few hickies.” “Which is?” Harvard asked, stepping closer, intrigued.

Hangman glanced around and saw a few guys looking at you, “Okay, when Bob gets up and leaves her alone, one of these guys will try to flirt and Bob is probably gonna see. And being the silent and passive aggressive type-”

“Guys, Bob’s moving,” Payback caught their attention. Everyone shut their mouth and watched how you sat there, a grin on your face as you picked at the label.

Jake narrowed his eyes trying to pick out which guy was gonna make his move.

Coyote hit his arm, “4 o’clock.” Hangman turned his head, seeing a guy high fiving his friends before adjusting his posture and making his way to you.

You didn’t look up when someone sat across from you. 

“You weren’t gone very long.” “Well I just got here,” the guy chuckled, and that’s when you looked up.

You glanced around for Bob, but didn’t see him. 

“I’m John.” “Rodeo,” you said, leaning back in your seat. “Rodeo?” You laughed, “It’s my call sign. I fly for the Navy.” John tilted his head, “You’re not from around here are you? You sound funny.”

The pilots, who had discreetly moved closer, dropped their jaws. “He did not just say that,” Rooster hushed out. “Oh he totally just did,” Phoenix smirked, waiting for you to lay into the guy.

You just laughed, “You have no idea how to actually talk to a woman do you?” If that hurt John’s feelings, he didn’t let it show, “Oh, I can show just how I talk to women.” He winked, “If you wanna take a ride?” You scoffed, sipping your drink with an arched brow, “Sorry, pal. I’m not interested.” He scoffed, fidgeting in his seat.

The group knew he was getting frustrated and there was no sign of Bob coming back, so they had to prepare to jump in themselves. Especially Hangman.

“Look, John, while I appreciate the offer, I’m already scheduled for a ride.”

Omaha and Yale choked on their drinks. Rooster and Phoenix smirked proudly, both for you and Bob. “I wasn’t expecting that,” Payback said, leaning on the pool table.

“With who? That cowboy that just left you here alone,” John glanced around. “And doesn’t seem to be coming back.” He looked back at you, “Come on. I could show you a better time.” He placed his hand over yours, gripping it.

You sighed, really just wanting him to leave you alone, “John, you are aware of the rules in the bar right?” He scoffed, and tightened his grip when you tried to pull away, “Yeah, don’t leave your phone on the bar. What the hell does that have to do anything?” You glanced up, smirking.

“You missed a few. There’s also a rule against disrespecting the Navy and women,” Bob looked at the tight grip on your open hand, and the tenseness of your shoulders. “And from what I can tell you’re breaking both. I can get Penny’s attention right now, then you have to buy everyone a drink, or you can leave.” 

John stood up, being the same height as Bob he could look him in the eye. “And if I don’t.” Bob glanced at you and you shook your head, not wanting him to get into a fight when it wasn’t necessary. “Well-” John punched Bob. “Bob!”

Hangman, Rooster and Coyote immediately jumped into action as you reared back.

“Rodeo,” Maverick had appeared, moving from his seat at the bar while Penny moved to the guy's friends telling them they needed to leave. Maverick had caught your elbow, “He’s not worth it. Help Bob, we’ll take care of him.”

You nodded and moved quickly to help your boyfriend, helping him up and grabbing his hat. “Are you okay?” He nodded, wincing slightly when you brushed your thumb over his busted lip. “That doesn’t look okay.”

He shook his head, adjusting his glasses, “I’m fine, Sweetheart. I’ve dealt with worse.” 

As John’s friends dragged him out, calling him a ‘fucking dumbass’ and throwing out ‘I told you so’s, Penny came over with a small ziplock bag of ice.

“Thank you, Pen,” you took it and the damp napkin, pushing Bob to sit on the table. You gently wiped the blood from his lip, “Bobby, I’m sorry. I coulda-” “Stop, don’t do that.” You nodded, “Alright.” He smiled, but it was small so it didn’t irritate the cut.

The group watched. They saw how your tongue poked out in concentration, and Bob’s eyes looking up at you.

“So, Hangman, what’s the thing? How’s he gonna ‘claim his territory’?” Fanboy asked, crossing his arms. “It seems he already has, his eyes are basically hearts,” Payback commented. “That’s exactly why he’s gonna do it.” “Do what?” Rooster asked, propping himself on the table next to Hangman.

“Thanks for coming to my rescue, cowboy,” you said as you pressed the ice to his lip. He hummed, “Of course, Princess.” 

He grabbed your wrist gently and moved the ice away from his lip. 

“It’s gonna swell.” “I know a way to make it better,” he sat up straight to look at you and kissed you. You giggled and ran your free hand into the hair at the base of his neck.

When he pulled away, he tongued the cut on his lip, “I need a way to show everyone that you're mine. And I’m not allowed to give you visible hickies.” Both of you knew it was too early for marriage, not that it bothered either of you but you knew this wasn’t how Bob would propose.

You smiled against his lips, “I think they know now, Rob.” He adjusted his hat and chuckled. “Now, as much as I love kissing you, this will be sore without ice.” He nodded and let you place the ice back onto his lip.

“You know, I’ve got an idea.” You hummed, “What’s that?”

Jake watched with bated breath as Bob reached up to take his hat off.

Bob placed the felt hat on your head, “There, now everyone knows.” Your eyes brimmed with tears as you looked at him. “Bobby…” “I know we’ve only been together for 8 months but-” You pulled him in for a kiss.

When you pulled away, his glasses were askew and his cheeks were flushed. “I love you too.” 

Bob smiled and looked over, seeing Jake smiling and dancing a little. “I think Hangman’s more excited about me giving you my hat than you are.”

You looked over and laughed, “Oh wow…”

“Do that!” The blonde pointed over at you two. “He gave her his hat, so?” Harvard said, sipping his drink. “In the south, that’s like a proposal. It’s like a promise ring,” Jake was still pointing excitedly at the couple. “Wait really?” Phoenix asked.

“Yeah, really,” you confirmed when you and Bob walked over. 

Jake rubbed his neck, “Did you-” “See you dance like a teenager that just scored a touchdown? Sure did,” Bob said, ice pack muffling some of the words.

Phoenix smiled sadly at her backseater, “You okay?” He nodded, “I’ve been bucked off a horse and pull g’s everyday, a punch to the face is nothing.”

Hangman couldn’t stop smiling at the two of you.

“Hang? You okay?” He nodded, “Just happy for ya is all.” You smiled and hugged him, “Thanks man.” 

When you pulled away, you reached back for Bob’s hand. He grabbed it and intertwined your fingers.

“Now, if y’all will excuse us. I think my scheduled ride has been bumped up. See y’all tomorrow.” You tipped your Bob’s hat and he waved as you pulled him out the door and to his Jeep. 

********

thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed!

thank you to those that voted for this story and i will be posting the last one tomorrow. i really appreciate all of you that voted! 

if you want more polls for the ‘x reader’s that are just chilling in my docs let me know or if you have any requests for more fics please do so!!

love you guys <33

top gun tags <3: @milesdickpic​ @luckyladycreator2​ @hotch-meeeeeuppppp​ @sebsxphia​ ​

thank you guys for being here! i love you *mwah*

[xochosoxo]

the best patient ✮ | e.jaeger

MDNI-> warnings: afab reader, nurse!y/n, erenbrokehiswrist, cheater!eren, stoner!eren, dealer!eren, (pretend hes also a metalhead bc i love metalheads. and toxic eren oh my god its unhealthy), mentions of weed, blowjobs, hairpulling, missionary, cowboy, multiple creampies, dirty talk, eyerolling, tit sucking, hickies, pussy eating, cum swapping/sharing/consuming, squirting (cuz it wouldnt be a dysaren fic without squirting!), erens gf visits.

a/n: sorry im so inactive im actually so busy like all the time :( (save me.) anyway, enjoy this quick fic i wrote instead of doing my assignments!! i am a sucker for toxic,cheater,stoner,dealer,metalhead,has piercings eren. based on a scenario that i created with a character.ai bot ( i am ashamed.. it was a xiao bot.)

"hello. im nurse y/n and ill be taking care of you for the duration of your stay here." you say, walking into the ER patient room as you scan my clipboard for the details of the person staying here.

Name: Eren Yeager

DOB: March 30 XXXX

Height: 6'0 ft

"weight, ethnicity blah blah... reason of hospitlization: distal radius fracture..." you read to yourself, glancing up from the clipboard to meet eyes with the man in the hospital bed. his long brown hair was up in a messy bun, he had tattos running from his neck all the way down to his arms, and from what you can tell, he was built, rather... nicely. (he was buff asf.)

the man looked miserable. he had swollen undereyes, and his skin looked dry, but still, for some reason you found him incredibly attractive.

"hello nurse." he mutters, clearly tired.

"hello." you repeat again. "im just here just to check up on you." you explain to him, sauntering closer to his bed.

you flip the page on your clipboard to a new, blank sheet. "i will just be running some tests, checking your vital signs and see how you are healing."

eren nods compliantly.

you take that as a sign of consent and start writing some things down on paper. "he seems to be doing fine...even his arms are nice fuck." you get distracted, looking at his arms, the way the veins pop out. mentally youre drooling. his fingers are long and thick, and there are indentations of multiple rings on them which only gets you more excited.

you flip your page back to the information sheet from before, checking the notes: "frequent smoker and sexually active."

"so it says here you are a frequent smoker?" you ask him, just wanting some sort of confirmation from him.

eren nods again. "yes" he whispers. "some nicotine but mostly weed."

"oh i see." you say, writing that information down.

"i can get you some. once im out of here at least." he looks up at you.

"im sorry?" you mustive heard wrong...right?

"ive seen you around before." eren explains. "at parties...you know mostly smoking. like that last one...you were with jean and connie."

oh. you didnt hear wrong.

three days ago, on your day off, you had went to a party with your friends jean and connie. they said it would be a good idea since it would be a chance for you to finally relax from your stressful job, so you relunctantly went. that was your first time smoking weed. it was wonderful and you guess eren saw the whole thing.

"you must have it wrong... i dont typically smoke." you explain to the brown haired man.

"i know, jean and connie told me it was your first. looked like you had a good time though." he smiles tiredly up at you.

you were taken a back a bit. you didnt know that the two of them knew eren. do they know that he's in the hospital right now? are they the reason he broke his wrist? where were they?

"i see..." you ponder a bit. "are they here with you tonight? somewhere in the hospital i mean."

"yeah. theyre here with my girlfriend too since she's the only sober one who can drive at the moment... they just went back to my place to grab some things for me before you came in. they wont be back for a while." eren clarifies.

"goddamnit he has a girlfriend." you sob internally.

"thats good to know." you fake smile, looking back at your clipboard. "it says here youre also sexually active... are you taking any sort of pills perchance?" you continue with your questions, trying to get back to professionalism.

"nope its all just me." he giggles with a coy grin on his face. youd hate to admit that his laugh turned you on a bit.

you finish up your report of eren, rechecking his vitals once more to confirm things. "okay it seems as though youre on the right track... it can take up to 6-12 weeks for your wrist to comepletely heal. otherwise, you might want to lay off the weed consumption till then." you finish up.

before you can leave, he call out. "wait.."

you turn around. "what is it? are you alright?"

"i have a problem with something and i just cant seem to be able to do it myself." eren tries saying shyly, but the look in is eyes seemed to be more sinsiter than you thought. "after all... i did just break my wrist..."

he looks down at his jeans, putting the spotlight on the constrained buldge in his jeans.

youre flushed. "oh..." what were you supposed to do in this situation?? didnt he have a girlfriend?

right he had a girlfriend.

"im sure your girlfriend can help you out with that."

eren's eyebrows crease. he did have a girlfriend and she was amazing. she did basically everything for him. so why now was he so damn attracted to his nurse to want to take a risk and cheat on everything he had???

he presses his lips together before speaking, "i lied. i just didnt want to seem like a pussy to ya." sentences were forming right as he was speaking them. hopefully it was enough to fool you. "please. its so uncomfortable..."

his throbbing cock was being compressed by not only his boxers but also by his black rocker jeans. it was true. it was extremely uncomfortable so why not relieve it with the cute nurse who also happened to be the cute girl who had been sitting with his friends not too long ago, taking a drag from a joint he sold to jean and connie.

you were relunctant, but then again, you could feel your panties getting damper. you walk up to him slowly, keeping your eyes locked with his. you sit down on the bed beside him.

he feels your soft hands on his buldge and from that he lets out a restrained sigh. "fuck." he huffs.

god, there was no way this wasnt turning you on too. eren knew that. he saw the way you bit your lip as you started to unbutton his jeans.

"how long will they be gone?" you ask, hinting at the group of friends eren had mentioned previously. "for a while.. my place is pretty from from the hospital." he watches you slowly pull down his zipper. "fuck baby youre making me go crazy."

you smile, finally releasing his cock from his boxers. he was hung. youre eyes widened and he lauged.

"too much for you baby?" he questions.

"no..." you whisper, slowly kitten licking the tip, tasting his precum before fully sheathing his cock in your mouth.

eren moaned. loudly.

"holy shit!" he huffs. "oh my god..." he leans his head back, grabbing your neat ponytail to guide you while sucking him off.

"ugghhfff!" you choke on his length, tears coming to your eyes. but you like it. it felt too good. at this point, your panties were soaking wet at this point.

"fuck baby you gotta stop or else im gonna cum." eren gasps, pulling you off from his dick. "cmon take it all off... show me."

you look behind you to make sure that the door to the room was closed. you look back at him with a playful look, pulling off your uniform and undershirt to reveal your cleavage.

eren smirked, watching as your skin reacted from the cold air, goosebumps forming. he reaches behind you and releases the hooks of your bra.

he sighed at the sight of your tits. they were beautiful. you were beautiful. he kneads at your chest as you remove the rest of your garments, underwear included.

you were fully exposed to him. internally, eren was freaking out. externally, he was entranced by your body, drooling a bit.

"eren?" you ask, waving your hand infront of him. he snaps out of his trance. "are you ok?" you look at him with a worried look.

"im ok baby. sorry. lets keep going." he says, rubbing his tip on your clit. he can feel your wetness and he smirks once again,

"you are dripping baby..." he whispers in your ear. "i dont even need to prep you..." eren slowly shoves his cock into you.

you were in heaven. both of you were. to him, you felt so fucking tight. he doesnt even know if youre a virgin or not. how couldnt you be? "youre so tight..." he groans, restraining himself from prematurely giving you a creampie.

you have never felt so full in your life. in your life, you've only fucked one guy and the rest had been occupied by your plethora of sex toys. but eren... eren was different. you were filled to the brim. eren could see the buldge of his dick lightly poking through your pudgy tummy. that made him go feral.

he started thrusting into you faster, sucking on your sensitive nipples, licking around the skin as well. he left mulitple hickies in the places where only he could see them. you still were on your shift of course, he wanted to be courteous.

"mmm..." he heard you sigh, smiling as he kissed your body.

eren lifts you up so now youre straddling him. he keeps his pace constant but you wanted to take control. so you start bouncing on his cock. he watches as your tits move with you, again trying not to prematurely cum.

"mmmhf!!!!" you try to conceal your moans, but it was so hard. "fuck daddy please!! i need more!!" you were being greedy, but it felt too good.

"youre bossy baby." eren laughs. he thrusts up, faster than before. "fuck im gonna fucking cum." you watched him gasp, bringing your face closer to his, kissing him with so much passion. he kissed back.

sure he had a girlfriend, but maybe now he's finally gonna break it with her. just for you.

"ah ah..." you gasp, feeling his thrusts slow down. you whine.

"shush baby, let me cum inside before i fuck it back into you." he moans into your neck, creampie-ing your cunt. you try not to scream as you feel the heat in your stomach release as you cum as well.

your eyes roll back into your head and oh how he loves the sight. yeah hes all yours now.

eren picks up his pace once again, like he said, fucking his cum deeper into you.

you scream before he slaps a hand over your mouth. "shut it baby... dont want everyone hearing how much of a slut you are."

"mmfgf!" you groan in protest.

eren doesnt stop his pace until he's shooting his thick load into you once again.

he's catching his breath as he pulls out, plugging your pussy with his fingers so the essence wouldnt leak from your cute slit.

youre all fucked out by the way. he watches as your face contorts into pure pleasure, feeling the band in your stomach snap as you twitch on his fingers.

eren shoves his mouth onto your pussy, licking up the mess in between your legs, tasting both him and you. he licks up your slit to your clit, flicking it with his tongue. youre overstimulated and tired. your couldnt take it anymore. you gush once more on his face, the liquid dripping down his chin and onto the sheets of the hospital bed.

"aahh..." you breathe heavily, recovering from your third orgasm.

"that feel good baby?" he says, bring his head up to meet your eyes. he could see hearts in them.

"mm... i think we're going to have to change the sheets." you giggle.

"well it was worth it." he watches as you sit up, making sure youre not in any discomfort. he rubs your back and fixes your hair. "you look beautiful like this."

"do i?" you say, questioning his taste.

he nods before leaning in for a comforting kiss. "let me take you out." he whispers.

you nod-

KNOCK KNOCK!

you glance behind you to look at the door.

"eren! its mikasa!" you both hear from the other side of the door.

you look back at him in confusion. "mikasa?"

he rolls his eyes.

"my girlfriend."

[solecize]

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision.

despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 4.6k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. n/a

part three: the letters, the saloon and the second storm  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ previous. next. masterlist

  vi. the letters

september 2nd 2008 (age 9)

dear jungkook,

  my mom said i should write you letters. i don’t really know what to say here. you better be visiting marshmallow and be nice to her while i’m gone. i miss her a lot. i guess i miss having you around since i don’t have anyone to play guitar hero with…

p.s. happy late birthday maybe i can visit and come to your party next year if my mom lets me

  from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

january 19th 2009 (age 10)

dear y/n,

  i learned how to skate for the first time. it’s too bad the ice will be gone when you’re back and we won’t get to skate together. i can’t believe we’ll be in middle school soon. are you scared? hoseok and namjoon say it’s not a big deal. also, i saw your grandpa yesterday and he showed me how to use a tapper on a maple tree. so cool!

p.s. you should ask your mom if you can visit earlier this year

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

april 23rd 2009 (age 10)

HEY JUNGKOOK,

  look inside the box, i sent you a book with this letter. i told you in my last letter that i would send you one. it’s astronomy for dummies (because you’re a dummy). you better read it before i come back to grandpa’s, okay?? you have a month and a half loser.

from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

september 30th 2009 (age 10)

hi y/n,

  jimin sprained his ankle during gym class. your grandpa told me to write that because it probably just made your day. i feel a little bit bad for him, the nurse at our school is really mean. also i know it’s a month away but i’m so excited for halloween. my dad got me this really cool goku costume. what are you gonna dress up as?

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

february 4th 2010 (age 11)

jungkook,

  i’m so tired of my parents fighting all the time. all they do is yell. i can’t wait to be back in amber valley so i don’t have to hear them all the time. i wish i had your parents, they’re so nice. also i hate my class. it’s so hard to be friends with the girls that sit next to me, they always leave me out of things. don’t you miss elementary school?

  from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

may 17th 2010 (age 11)

dear y/n,

  guess what. my dad got me a skateboard!! it’s so cool. if you’re nice to me i’ll let you borrow it. we should see who can do the coolest trick. it’ll be me of course i’m better than you at everything LOL. you better hurry and come back!

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

november 25th 2010 (age 11)

hi jungkook, 

  i can’t believe i’ll only be living with my dad soon. do you think my mom doesn’t want me? honestly, i’d rather just live with grandpa all the time. then i could see marshmallow everyday all year! or maybe you can convince your mom to take me in. actually, i take that back, i could never live with you. you’re so messy. 

p.s. i got my own skateboard!! it’s cold now but i’m gonna practice and bring it with me next summer

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

february 18th 2011 (age 12)

y/n,

  i know you’re super sad and stuff. i’m sorry about your parents. we’re gonna have the best summer ever though and maybe you won’t think so much about it. look at the bucket list i made!

eat breakfast for dinner

watch the captain america movie

ride the big kids ride at the midsummer fair (i’m tall enough now so you better be too)

stay up all night

make ice cream

  if you have any ideas, add on! hope you’re doing okay :( 

  from jungkook

  vii. the saloon

when jungkook mentioned the saloon to you, you thought it was a joke poking at the countryside life. 

  “oh, it’s actually called a saloon. like, unironically. that’s what the text said,” you rambled into your phone, edged between your ear and shoulder, as you stood in your kitchen in front of your laptop.

  on the screen, you were assembling an excel sheet of sorts to assist your navigation through the business side of the farm. thankfully, this was exactly the field you had long worked and studied in and knowing this before taking on your new role made the transition far easier. there was hardly any product to be profiting from, as you had just arrived, and you were preparing the document before the time came to deal with vendors and other local businesses.

  “oh, honey, that place has actually been called ‘the saloon’ ever since i was a little girl,” your mom’s voice chimed in from the other end.

  since the turn of your early twenties, your phone calls to your parents were far and few between and you could hear the surprise in her tone when she initially picked up. but, your grandpa’s letter seemed to be growing truer everyday, as your surroundings made drew you to reconnect with what you thought was to be lost.

  eyebrows furrowed, you continued to scroll through your work. “mom, do you think he meant it as a date? i can’t do a date, i literally just got here!”

  “calm down. it’s that amber valley hospitality. but,” your mom paused, “you did have crushes on each other growing up.”

  “mom, no way - “

  she merely laughed. “it was so obvious! you mailed a valentine’s day card to jungkook every year. one time, he punched little jimin because he called you ‘jungkook’s ugly girlfriend.’”

  “and then he screamed that i wasn’t ugly. huh, i do remember that,” you began to think. 

  spending time reminiscing with your mom momentarily distracted you from the anxiety you felt, waiting for the evening to come. jungkook did end up texting you, asking if you were coming down to the saloon for the birthday surprise. you looked away and closed your eyes when you pressed ‘send’ on the confirmation that you would drop by.

  the idea made you nervous only because it had been so long since you went out and met new people. there was no such thing as free time in your old life and you really only maintained surface-level friendships with your coworkers in your last year of the job.  however, knowing amber valley and the tight-knit community, it was only a matter of time before you got acquainted with everyone, whether you liked it or not.

  by the time it was six, you’d forced yourself to get changed and inspected your outfit several times before leaving. the last thing you wanted to do was stand out too much. so, you put on your favourite denim jeans and a plain long sleeve top, putting away your go-to strappy stilettos for the night. 

  making your way into town was quick and soon enough, you found the pub situated in between the flower shop and the hardware store. it definitely looked like it’d been around since your mom was a little girl, the exterior siding showing age with chips here and there. 

  “hey y/n.”

  you jumped, having not paid attention to your surroundings. turning around, it was taehyung holding a box adorned in magenta polka dot wrapping. he wore a similar outfit to the one from the day before, except a different cowboy hat. you wondered if there was a store in town that specialized in selling just these hats.

  “hi taehyung. is this for jin?” you offered a smile, gesturing to the box.

  a pleased grin formed on taehyung’s face. “yup. i’m pretty sure i got him the best gift out of everyone, but don’t tell anyone.”

  he walked ahead of you and opened the door, pausing. you realized he was opening it for you and you quickly thanked him, going right in. small town hospitality. 

  it was saturday evening, but to your surprise, there were hardly any patrons in the bar. taehyung then pointed to a sign by the door, which you missed completely. it read: ‘private event, invite only.’ 

  “oh, wow, am i v.i.p?” you joked, following him to the back of the room, where a stack of presents were grouped on one table. 

  “of course! you’re jungkook’s friend, after all,” he exclaimed, setting his box down with the others. “you guys go way back, huh? how long has it been since you guys since saw each other?”

  you counted in your head. “i think twelve or thirteen years. a while.”

  “what, no facebook back in the day?” he teased.

  “no, he was never nearly fond of that. after i stopped coming for the summers, we lost contact completely.” you couldn’t recall any attempts for continued communication afterwards, other than your grandpa offering updates here and there about him. “we used to write, but i don’t know what happened. . .”

  for a while, you wondered why jungkook never wrote you again after you stopped coming to the valley. admittedly, looking back, it hurt your preteen self that he never tried. but, eventually, you moved on and left jungkook in your childhood.

  taehyung nodded slowly. “so. . .you didn’t know about what happened?”

  you already knew what he was talking about and squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “no. i felt really bad about it.”

  “it’s okay. since i moved to town, i’ve really admired jungkook. if there’s any sort of pain, he hides it really well for the sake of others,” he said, leaning on the wall.

  that sounded like the jungkook you remembered. he was always the type to put others before himself, no matter how small the issue. then, you began thinking about jiwon.

  “taehyung, can i ask you something?” you suddenly said. “jiwon. she’s only nine. and jungkook doesn’t have any other family. . .”

  the smile at the corner of taehyung’s lips was sad. “yeah. jungkook is her primary guardian and has been since he was nineteen.”

  the answer seemed to weigh a hundred pounds and you had to take a second to take it all in. there were so many questions that formed, floating around your head and you couldn't seem to find the words to articulate any of them. before you could even try, you jumped again at the sudden appearance of two new individuals, one of them being jungkook himself and forced you to put away your thoughts.

  “we’re behind schedule, did yoongi put the cake in the fridge?” this new person was turned to taehyung, carrying a case of beer. “we need - oh, hi! y/n! i totally remember you, i heard you were back!”

  you’d never seen someone with such energy, exhibiting positivity like a ray of sunshine. it seemed like he was genuinely delighted to see you. taking a closer look at his features, you recognized him to be jung hoseok - jungkook’s next door neighbour. he put down the case in his hands and immediately pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

  “hoseok, hi!” you winced, trying your best to hug him back, but it certainly made you burst into a giggle.

  he was the first person to remember you on the spot, which took you aback. a few years older than you, you weren’t as close with him as you were with jungkook growing up, but he was always around. you remember him as the big brother who showed you and jungkook the cool ‘older kid’ shows and games that your parents would have never let you watch at that young age. 

  “how have you been? you look so grown up! you’re really staying here for good?” the questions were rapid-fire, one after another.

  beside him, jungkook was smiling, but tapped hoseok to bring him back into the main conversation. “hyung. hyung! we’re behind schedule, remember?” he groaned, but grinned wider when you met his eyes. “nice to see you, though, bunny. really glad you came.”

  “oh, right.” hoseok quickly let go and cleared his throat, beginning to point to each of you with authority. “you, taehyung. go help jimin with the slideshow. namjoon has the pinata.”

  pinata? how old was this jin person, was he one of jiwon’s friends?

  “you, jungkook. jin said he’s five minutes away, we need you to distract him for a bit longer.”

  “can i help?” you piped in, feeling a bit out of place. “i mean, i’m here as a last minute guest, i’m happy to help in any way.”

  hoseok clapped his hands together in glee. “thank you, y/n! go help jungkook distract jin, you being there will give him a reason to yap on. let’s go team!” he raised his fist in encouragement and in the blink of an eye, he already dashed off. 

  at this, jungkook seemed unfazed and frankly, so were you. you remember hoseok’s personality to be like this - extremely vigorous and could never sit in one place. on the other hand, taehyung looked perplexed as much as he appeared amused. he only shrugged, picking up the case of beer that hoseok clearly forgot.

  “let’s go team, i guess. i’ll see you guys in a bit!” taehyung chuckled, walking off.

  you were expecting to be asked to move around chairs or help bring out food. this wasn’t quite in your cards. you turned to jungkook in confusion, who chuckled at your expression.

  “come follow me.”

  he led the two of you back out the saloon, hands in his jean pockets. the early summer air was stunningly humid and coming outside was like hitting a muggy and sticky wall. but, there was one thing that couldn’t be replaced.

  you couldn’t help but stare up at the sky, a fixed gaze. “you can really see the stars when you’re in the valley.”

  the stars, dotted across the night, twinkled and smiled down at you. it was a view that others only romanticized and dreamt of in carefully crafted paintings and poems made to move the soul. and now, this dream was your new home. 

  jungkook mimicked the way you tilted your head up, lost with his own gaze. “i’ve lived here all my life and i never get tired of it.”

  “i can’t believe i forgot about this. . .” you trailed off.

  he pointed out to the sky. “that one is ursa major and you can see - “

  “ - the big dipper,” the two of you said in unison, which led to a shared laughter. 

astronomy was one of your biggest interests growing up, having stacks of books and a tapestry of the night sky in your childhood bedroom. your bedroom in the farmhouse also had a shelf full of astronomy books, which your grandpa still kept until his passing. having ignored the task of organizing and arranging your new bedroom, which was the same room you occupied over your summers in amber valley, you made a note to go through this shelf when you arrived home.

  jungkook said, “you’re the one that taught me about that,” he turned back to you. “you actually used to randomly quiz me on constellations, it was really stressful.”

  you could see your younger self sitting on your grandpa’s porch steps with jungkook, who lazied on the hammock across from you. you would compile actual multiple-choice questions and threw pebbles at him whenever he got an answer wrong. eventually, your grandpa scolded you for that, so you changed your weapon of choice to toy balls.

  “i guess my lessons paid off, though,” you bantered.

  following this, you heard a person shout jungkook’s name. you looked over and saw a man walking in your direction. he was tall and handsome and his smile was inviting. a little too handsome, he reminded you of models you’d seen in high fashion ads. his clothes contributed to the image, a patterned short sleeve button down and t-shirt that gave off neat and put-together. he wore jeans like what seemed to be 90 percent of the town, but you noticed the luxury brand belt. 

  “oh, seokjin!” to this, jungkook nudged you, as if signalling for you to be ready for something.

  this was jin? the birthday boy with a pinata? he had to be around hoseok’s age.

  “hey! hoseok told me to meet him here, have you see him?” seokjin began looking around. “he is working tonight, right?”

  “uh, did he?” jungkook’s tone was not convincing and you couldn’t believe the hoseok made such a horrible liar be the distraction. “i think he is, want me to call him?”

  “um, yeah. he said he was returning something he borrowed from me.” seokjin looked at him strangely. “why don’t i just go inside and check? why are you just waiting out here?”

  “this is y/n!” jungkook suddenly blurted out, seemingly having no way around the conversation. his smile was painful and avoided making eye contact.

  your eyes went wide and seokjin turned to you, having not realized there was another person in his presence. “oh, i’m so sorry! i didn’t see you there.”

  “yeah, hi, that’s me. y/n.” this time, it was jungkook looking at you like you were the least convincing person in the world. you cleared your throat and offered a handshake to seokjin.

  seokjin didn’t seem to notice your awkwardness and took your hand. “it’s really nice to meet you. jungkook actually told me a lot about you!” it was subtle, but you could hear jungkook groan. 

  you raised your eyebrows at jungkook. “oh, did he?” 

  “you guys grew up together, right? and you’re taking over the old farm?” 

  although you could tell right off the bat that seokjin wasn’t from amber valley, his deamanour was just as welcoming and friendly. he asked you a few questions about where you’re from and how settling in was. 

  “i’m sure you’ll be a natural. it sounds like you already have a lot of experience!” seokjin exclaimed and his positivity gave you genuine reassurance. “we’re all friends around here, so don’t be shy to reach out if you need anything.”

  “thank you,” you replied.

  jungkook tried to regain his composure. “seokjin runs the bakery down the street.”

  “yeah! my wife and i used to buy eggs from your grandpa all the time, hopefully we can keep doing that,” seokjin winked at you. 

  then, the front door of the saloon cracked open just enough for hoseok to poke his head outside. there was no sign of activity from the inside, with the lights now off and all voices coming to a complete silence. 

  seokjin tilted his head slightly when looking at hoseok. “there you are. are you. . closed? the bar is closed on a saturday night?” he asked.

  “yeah, uh, plumbing issues,” hoseok’s eyes darted over to you and jungkook. “y/n, jungkook! what brings you here around this time of day? you should all come in!”

  despite the growing skepticsm etched on his face, seokjin glanced over to you two and shrugged. he followed his friend’s gesture to come inside. 

  you mumbled to jungkook, “you and your friends are all terrible liars.” to this, jungkook stifled a laugh and playfully jabbed his elbow into your arm. 

  hoseok opened the door wider and seokjin went in first, while you and jungkook trailed after. you were surprised at how well they made the interior appear deserted, with not a single soul in sight. you did noticed that they even stacked the chairs on the tables, as if the establishment was really closed.

  “by the way, hoseok is the manager of the saloon,” jungkook leaned into your ear and whispered. 

  the floorboards creaked with every step, only adding onto the heavy silence in the atmosphere. seokjin looked around, eyebrows furrowed. he cleared his throat, hoping to cut the awkward tension.

  seokjin started, “so, y/n, what happened with you and ju - “

  “surprise!”

  all of the lights flickered on and filled the room. upbeat music turned on suddenly, causing seokjin to jump and yelp. two dozen or so people popped out from random places - underneath the booths, from behind the walls, and from behind the bar. balloons and streamers began spilling out from out of nowhere.

  “happy birthday seokjin!” everyone yelled in unison.

  you awkwardly tried to join in once you caught onto what everyone was saying. despite that, the high energy ended up engulfing you and you couldn’t help but smile. some of the boys started throwing streamers at seokjin, while namjoon appeared from under the bar with a lit chocolate cake and began approaching the birthday boy in question.

  “thanks, y/n!” hoseok nudged you, as everyone began singing to seokjin. “it’s exciting that you’re around again!” 

  as the song concluded and seokjin enthusastically blew out his candles, you cheered along with everyone else. over the cheering, jungkook found his way to you again. he raised his hand, offering a high-five, which you immediately accepted.

  something about the atmosphere unlocked something inside you. within days, you were welcomed into the community and for the first time in a long time, saw people that could become your actual friends. maybe this was what your grandpa was talking about.

  “yeah,” jungkook added, “it is exciting that you’re around again.”

  “real connections. . .” you muttered to yourself, remembering the contents of your grandpa’s letter.

  the yelling got louder, as the partygoers chanted for seokjin to make a speech. “huh, what did you say?” jungkook shouted over the chanting. 

  “nothing!” 

  you weren’t prepared for the next part of grandpa’s wish for you. it was a surprise to you that you were able to ease into the town and become comfortable connecting with the people around you. at the end of the day, though, you had a farm to run and you were about to face the worst of it. 

  viii. the second storm

your grandpa’s last wishes for you were to reconnect with people and nature. nature. you didn’t realize what you were getting yourself into.

  “oh my god! why does mother nature hate me?!”

  the best thing about living in a big farmhouse by yourself was the fact that you could make as much noise as you wanted. you often found yourself yelling at the top of your lungs, shrieking like a bird when you came across anything frustrating. considering you were learning an entirely new job on your own, it happened quite often.

  you screamed into the void after your first phone call with a vendor, who kept on asking you if you knew what you were doing. you swore you almost broke your vocal cords when you sunk into the mud the first time you checked out the fields after a rainy night. at least you walked away several metres from the coop before you screeched in agony after the chickens gave you a hard morning on time. 

  when a soft knock on your front door interrupted your emotional breakdown, your heart stopped. 

  “fuck!” you whispered to yourself.

  who would be visiting you? what if it was someone important, like mayor kim? maybe they didn’t hear - no, they definitely heard. 

  you tentatively approached the door and took a deep breathe before swinging it open.

  “i didn’t know you started tending to hyenas on the farm.”

  it was jungkook with a lazy, shit-eating grin. it was early in the morning, about 8am, and he wore workout clothes. baggy grey sweatpants and a white nike tank-top, you felt like you were straining to keep your eyes on his face and not anywhere else. 

  “oh, shut it. good morning to you, too,” you shot back. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”

  “sorry, i would’ve texted, but i was already passing by on my run,” jungkook said.

  it’d been about a week since you last saw him, though he was nice enough to check in on you every once in a while to see if you were doing okay with the farm. you hardly left home, used to the same routine of working and going right to bed everyday from your old life and the habit was hard to break. 

  he continued, “anyway, i saw your windows hanging from outside and i just wanted to make sure - “

  you opened the front door wider for him to see the state of your front entryway and his jaw dropped. there was water everywhere on the floor. the storm from the night before was aggressive and the age of the house couldn’t stand it. you didn’t anticipate for it to be this bad, having just shoved the windows closed before you went to bed.

  “yeah, they’re wrecked,” you sighed, looking over to what was left of it, considering most of it was on the ground. “actually, that’s why i was screaming.”

  “you know, i take what i said back. totally justified.”

  “thanks,” you rolled your eyes and sighed. he made a gesture as if to come in and you obliged, carefully stepping aside and making sure you weren’t stepping in a puddle. “i’m surprised this hasn’t happened before.”

  he let out a low whistle, as he walked inside and took in the sight of your floors. “honestly, me neither. you would think this would’ve happened already ages ago.”

  you didn’t know what else to do but shrug. “i can handle it.” despite your words, you certainly could not handle it. there were still a million things you had to take care of around the farm and dealing with broken windows and water was an incredible burden that you didn’t know where to start.

  “shit. look, i have to go to work in a bit, but let me help you out,” jungkook said. 

  you instantly shook your head. “jungkook, no. it’s fine, really, i got it.”

  “you’ve never picked up a screwdriver in your life.”

  “hey, you don’t know that!” you wanted to slap him upside the head like from when you were kids, but found the strength to refrain.

  it was only jokes and jungkook’s smirk showed it, but his tone then became serious. “okay, then, at least let me help you fix your windows. dude, you live alone in this big ass house on this big ass farm. just say yes.” 

  at this point, you could tell he was exasperated with your stubborness and you laughed at it. you weren’t one to turn down someone offering to do manual labour for you, but you were hesitant to show any lack of indepdence. though, something told you to say yes and it wasn’t jungkook’s annoyance with your persistence. 

  “okay, fine. you’re real annoying, you know that?” you had to add in the last part, it was only natural. 

  he shook his head. “thank you - oh, how lucky i am for milady to accept my lousy, peasant self to fix your windows!” at that, you shoved him playfully and when he barely moved from your push, jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle. 

  “i know you’re perfectly capable of doing things yourself, by the way. you just shouldn’t have to all the time,” he gave you a pointed look. 

  you nodded slowly, looking down at your feet. “thank you, jungkook.” 

  though it was only 8 in the morning, you decided to take a later start in the day, since you usually woke up at the crack of dawn. you had your entire day ahead of you and what felt like a hundred things to do and the last thing you wanted to add was a trip to the hardware store.

  “of course,” he carefully tiptoed around the water, moving back to the front door. “it’s what friends are for. i’ll come by tomorrow morning, how’s that sound?”

  this is not what you meant when you decided to “reconnect with nature” at all. with your fluffy indoor slippers soaked in rainwater, you were certainly more than connected with it. you made a mental note to visit the beach and call it a day, hoping that would fulfill your grandpa’s wish for you to be one with mother earth and that the forces of nature would leave you alone after that.

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @sstrongstyletyle @wobblewobble822 @seokoutt @firelcrds @taiwan0618

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Welcome to my Masterlist 💌

hi, i'm murphy. my requests are always open - feel free to send any ideas or thoughts you have - i'll always read them all.

note - all of my fics are reader insert. no use of y/n. i don't write for real people, only characters <3

Last Updated - August 24th

❁ - over 1k notes

✯ - a series

Characters I Write For.

500 Follower Celebration Masterlist. 3k Celebration Masterlist. Valentines Masterlist. 5k Celebration Masterlist.

Moodboard Masterlist. My Ao3.

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Top Gun: Maverick

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

The Orange. ❁

You and Jake share an orange. He's in love with you.

For Eternity. (Part 2 of The Orange.)

You and Jake share an orange. He's never loved you more.

North Star. ❁

It's New Year's Eve. Jake is tired of waiting.

I Know Places.

Jake always joked that he'd kill for you. One fateful day, he does just that.

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin & Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Why Choose?

A drunken game of spin the bottle gets a little heated. Why choose, when you can have both?

Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia

Dr Cupid.

Mickey Garcia passes out in hospitals. Luckily, this time there's a pretty nurse there to catch him.

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Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Lessons in Love. ❁

Bucky didn't believe in love at first sight. Then he met you.

Honey Girl. ✯❁

The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.

Trick or Treat.

You love Halloween. Bucky loves you.

Rest Had Seemed The Sweetest Thing.

Bucky's slowly learning that love isn't a finite resource. aka, Bucky's first Christmas.

Stucky

Letters to the Moon.

Steve is gone. The love you and Bucky have for him isn't.

Wishbone.

You meet Bucky and Steve while on the run. The three of you quickly learn that nothing is more violent than love.

Frank Castle

There's Always Tomorrow.

Frank knows you better than you know yourself. It's a blessing and a curse.

Multi Talented. ❁

Frank shows you exactly what you deserve.

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Criminal Minds

Luke Alvez

Wherever You Are. That's Where Home Is.

Luke might be a mind reader. Only with you, though.

Vice. ❁

Everyone on the team has their vices. It just so happens that yours is sat across the table looking at you.

Spencer Reid

Web of Lies. ✯

Spencer Reid has always been good at keeping secrets. You just never thought he'd keep one from you.

Cowboy!Spencer ✯

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Narcos

Javier Peña

Self Control. ❁

Javi keeps refusing himself what he wants. One night puts everything into perspective.

Yes, Mr President.

There's an endless amount of things you shouldn't do as the President of the United States. Defiling the Oval Office is definitely one of them.

Western Nights. ✯

You don't expect to bump into your dad's best friend Javier in a church basement on the outskirts of town. You also didn't expect to fall in love with him. Life seems to be full of surprises - and Javier was the biggest surprise of all.

Jealousy, Jealousy. ❁

Javier Peña doesn't share.

Two Murphy's and a Peña.

Javier knows Steve's sister is off limits. He's never been one to follow the rules.

After Hours.

You and Javier are stuck in the office in the middle of a heatwave. You're hot in more ways than one.

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Triple Frontier

Time. ❁

You get shot in Colombia. Frankie, Benny, Santiago and Will each have their own ways of helping you heal.

Tethered. ❁

The lines of friendship blur when you’re this close. Also known as - each of the times you’ve kissed Benny, Frankie, Santiago and Will.

Tranquility.

You're not good at keeping secrets from the boys. Turns out, Will isn't either.

Home Is Where The Heart Is.

They say home is where the heart is. Your heart belongs to the four boys you call your best friends. Also known as - four important times the guys told you they loved you.

Will Miller

Champagne Fuelled Confessions.

You come home drunk, and have something burning you need to tell Will.

Best Friend's Brother.

You've known Benny for years. You've had a crush on his brother Will for years, too.

Frankie Morales

Find You.

A bad date brings Frankie Morales to your door at the perfect time.

Rain Soaked Romantic.

Frankie will run across town in the rain if it means finally telling you how he feels.

Santiago Garcia

This Is The Way It Always Goes.

Santiago always comes crawling back. You convince yourself this is the last time - but you both know that's not true.

Precious Girl.

A chance meeting with your Dad's best friend at 2am.

Benny Miller

Adrenaline.

Ben needs a way to work off his post match energy. You.

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The Last of Us

Joel Miller

Pretty When You Cry. ❁

Joel realises his morals are fucked. You realise you like it.

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Succession

Stewy Hosseini

Clandestine. ✯

You and Stewy know it's wrong. So why, pray tell, does it feel so right?

Fully Clothed.

Being Stewy's assistant has its perks.

Consequence.

Stewy's actions have unexpected consequences.

Needy.

You've been waiting all day for Stewy to get home. He loves it.

Play Pretend.

The classic fake dating trope, with a twist.

The Place Where It All Began.

You reunite with Stewy at your high school reunion. Turns out, he's been waiting for you, all this time.

Risky.

The thrill of being caught makes it all the more exciting.

Kendall Roy

Me and You.

You quit as Kendall's assistant. He's been waiting for this day.

Illicit Affair.

You're Matssons wife. You're also in love with Kendall Roy.

Forced Proximity.

The classic only one bed trope, this time with your emotionally unavailable boss.

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The Bear

Carmen Berzatto

The Roommate Collection. ✯❁

A collection of fics based on being roommates with Carmen.

Vienna.✯

Everything is the same. Nothing has changed. Everything has changed. Nothing is the same.

Carmen. ❁

Carmen. Your Carmen.

Denial. ❁

Carmy can’t keep pretending.

Mechanic!Carmen.

Inspired by that picture of JAW in a crop top.

Perfectionist. ❁

Your boyfriend being a professional chef has its perks. Especially when it comes to gingerbread houses.

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9-1-1

Evan Buckley

Lightning Strike. ❁

The two of you deal with the aftermath of Bucks trauma.

Fire Hazard. ❁

The story of your firehouse nickname - and Buck unable to handle you in a sundress.

Evan Buckley & Eddie Diaz

The Look of Love. ❁

You, Buck and Eddie are absolutely, undeniably, head over heels in love with each other. It seems like everyone can see it except for the three of you.

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Sons of Anarchy

Jax Teller

Heatwave. ❁

You cut Jax's hair. He can't keep his hands to himself.

Sundress Season. ❁

It’s sundress season. Jax can’t keep his hands to himself (again).

Filip 'Chibs' Telford

Teach Me How to Ride. ❁

Chibs is teaching you how to ride (in more ways than one).

Handled.

You and Chibs have been walking the line for a little too long.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Challengers

Two Can Play That Game.

You’re cheating on Patrick. You’re not proud of it, but it just… happened. Patrick’s cheating on you, too. He never meant for it to happen, but it just… did. Imagine the surprise from both of you when you find out that Art Donaldson is caught up right in the middle.

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Miscellaneous

Steve Harrington

Cherry. ✯❁

The lines of friendship get a little blurry, one unassuming Friday night in December.

Someone Borrowed, Someone Blue.

An engagement party, your childhood best friend, one too many glasses of champagne. What could go wrong?

[bun-ika]

@cobaltbeam did an amazing job bringing my sweet OC Bunny to life.

Bunny is a medic with the 501st. You can read about him in my writing tag (cowboy nurse writing).

[tofics]

Broken - Chapter 5

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader

Summary: A year has passed since Joel and Ellie have returned to Jackson when he finds you on patrol, half frozen and half burning up. Jackson takes you in and nurses you back to health, welcoming you as the newest member of their community. The more time passes, Joel realizes that you and him have more in common than he likes… Until one day, everything changes and you get a gift that he’ll never get.

Word Count: 6472 words

Warnings: feelings of shame, mention of child death, developing feelings and the uncertainty that comes with that, crying, cuddling, and, at long last, fluff, fluff, and more fluff!

A/N: Brace yourselves, for this is the quiet that comes before the storm. This was so hard to write because the pain of the reader and Joel stands so much at the forefront and going into lighter, happier feelings beyond that requires such a drastic mindset change 😮‍💨 I'm pretty satisfied with the outcome though. I hope you enjoy! And, remember, come Friday, Aug. 16th, we're back on a regular posting schedule! 😊

Chapter 5 - New Leafs and Old Foes

"Hoooo, eaaaasy there girl, easy." The mare neighs nervously and raises on its hindlegs. You stop your movement, but don't retreat, instead digging your heels deeper into the mud. Opposite of you, Savannah, the stable's keeper, is mirroring your moves, struggling to stay upright in the slick mud as she tugs on the mare's reins. The animal comes down with a thump and sprays the both of you with specks of sludge as she neighs again, her panicked eyes flicking back and forth between you and your helper.

"Easy now, girl, easy." The calmness of your voice finally seems to register with the panicked animal when her eyes flit back to you and lock on you. Her nostrils flare and she shifts on her legs uneasily, but her hoofs remain on the ground. You gonna work with me, girl? You convey the question with your eyes, a silent exchange between the two of you. It takes a moment, but eventually you notice the horse's body language shift - the 'yes' you were waiting for.

The animal is still panting, but she allows your touch when you run your flat hand over her strong neck. "Atta girl." She snorts in response to your whispered soothing appraisals and you can't help but smile.

"What are you, the horse whisperer or something?" Savannah carefully slips the reins into your hand with a big grin.

"Call me Robert Redford, sweetheart." You tip your imaginary cowboy hat in her direction with a wink.

"Phew, she ain't half bad, hu?" Tommy whistles through his teeth and you turn at the sound, giving the two brothers a small smile and wave in response.

Joel just grunts, but smiles back at you with a nod of his head.

"Don't think I don't saw that." Tommys voice matches the foolish grin on his face.

"Don't know what you're talkin' about. Ain't nothing to see." Joel clicks his tongue and leads his horse into the stable, away from the paddock where your little show took place. Once they're inside his stallion's box, he takes off the saddle and the halter, placing both on their respective mounts in the stable.

"Hey, no shame in fallin' in love, brother." Tommy's voice drifts over from the box next to Joel's. "After all," - his head pops up over the barrier, plastered with the same silly grin as before - "wouldn't dream of judgin' you when I'm guilty of the same crime." He sticks his left hand in the air and pointedly twirls the golden band on his ring finger.

Joel snorts but doesn't shoot back. Instead he heads back outside into the fresh spring air. It's one of those days that make it look like summer, all sparkling blue sky dotted with fleecy clouds and warm sunshine, but set one foot into a shadowy area and you're back in winter, with wind that's still got a sharp bite to it and temperatures that'll have your teeth chattering.

Joel tugs his on the collar of his jacket as he approaches the paddock's fencing, trying to shield himself from the chilly breeze that blows past the stable's shadowy entrance. It won't take more than an hour, but for now, only one half of the paddock is glistening in the sun, the trampled mud and sludge sparkling in the warm rays where the rain water has collected in little pools.

"C'mon, baby, c'mon. That's it. Atta girl." Your voice dances through the air and Joel watches the latest addition to the stable trot alongside you with ease, the panic of just a few minutes ago seemingly forgotten. It doesn't surprise him in the least. Your lures are so sweet, not only by word but by sound, delivered in a soft and light trill that could fit right in with the chirps of the birds that are coming out more and more each day. 'Talk to me like that, and I'd follow you anywhere too,' he thinks and feels the immediate internal backlash.

For fuck's sake. Get it together.

Of course Joel knows what Tommy's talking about. He's caught himself in moments like these one too many times not to know. That doesn't mean he has to admit it, though. Nor does he have to like it.

It's been a long time since anyone stirred something inside of him the way you do. There was Tess - she and him had been partners, both in business and in bed, but there had been nothing romantic about it. What he had with her was different, more down-to-the-point oriented. In business terms, it was a perfect match. She was the social baseline to their partnership, yet no less ruthless than Joel. He sometimes admired her for it, how she held on to that part of herself that made her more human. He lost touch with that side of him for years and had no interest in rebuilding it, not until he met Ellie anyway. She's softened him and brought him back to life in ways he didn't think were possible anymore.

So perhaps it shouldn't be that big of a surprise that you do something to him. And you have, from the start. Joel's not one to care for other people's business unless it's somehow related to him, and yet, he has found himself wondering about you time and time again. You mostly keep to yourself, but you're amazing with Ellie. You seem to share his love for silence, but you can easily talk his ear off if he gets you going on the right topic.

But more than that - and perhaps, most importantly so - he sees something in you that reminds him of himself, in the most painful way. He can see you trying to hide it around Ellie, but your occasional shut-downs never go undetected by him. Thankfully, you haven't had any meltdowns since that one time, but there are smaller signs of when you retreat somewhere into the back of your mind. The smile on your face becomes less genuine, like a cheap knock-off version of the real deal. Your eyes cloud over and lose the vibrancy they usually shine with. And sometimes, your arm wanders over your chest and digs into your other arm, like you're trying with all your might to hold yourself together.

Those moments are the worst for you, as far as he can tell. He's found himself wanting to reach over and gently losen the grip you have on your arm, to hold your hand and let it squeeze him instead, but of course he doesn't. Joel doesn't think it's his place, or if you'd even want him to. He never asks. He doesn't know how. And it's pissing him off.

He feels like a goddamn teenager all over again, and those years are well behind him. Hell, he's currently got a teenager at home, he's got no business acting the way he does. But it's just like it was back then, all those years ago. You come into his proximity and boom. It's like he's on fire. His palms break out into a sweat and his heart is hammering in his chest. It's pathetic, the way your sheer presence sometimes reduces him to a sixteen year old hormonal boy, when his real age is twice that and then some.

Worse than that, despite being thrice the age of a teenager, he's apparently about as good at hiding his crush as he was back then. Thankfully, Ellie hasn't caught on to it - yet, she likely wouldn't let him hear the end of it - and as far as he can tell, neither have you, but Maria keeps looking at him funny and this isn't Tommy's first comment regarding you either. Leave it to his brother to rat him out to his wife.

Flipping his collar back down, Joel exposes his neck to the chilled air around him in hopes of it having the same effect as a cold shower. Lord knows he could need one.

You feel Joel‘s gaze on you before you spot him leaning against the fence, looking better than he should be allowed to. A faint memory of some women’s magazine’s article pops up in the back of your head, something about how the entirety of an outfit should never consist of just jeans, and yet you couldn’t disagree more. Dressed in a lined denim jacket and a pair of pants made of the same fabric, he looks more like a catalogue model than a failed fashion ensemble. The cowboy hat he's been wearing lately sits on his salt and pepper hair, rounding off the ensemble like a cherry on top.

"Howdy, partner," you call out and watch with satisfaction as a small smile plays out on Joel's face. He tries to hide it in the same way he often pretends not to be amused by Ellie's jokes, pushing his bottom lip out and biting down on it from the inside. Clearly he's unaware of how little it's working, or how terribly adorable he looks doing it.

"Mornin'," he replies when you've almost reached the fence, the remnants of his hidden smile still visible in the twitching corners of his mouth.

The mare behind you snorts uneasily and you take a step back to softly pat her neck, but your eyes stay on Joel. "Patrol all done?"

"Mh-hmm. Haven't seen you on patrol in a while." The way he says it, it sounds like an unspoken question, and you understand why.

When you had begged Maria to take you off patrol, she had agreed instantly, probably persuaded (and somewhat concerned) by the cascade of tears running down your face. "Did something happen?," she had asked, the question loaded with the unspoken add-on of 'with Joel' and you just shook your head no, a wordless workaround for the very lengthy real answer you didn't have the strength to give, nor had the right words for. After all, how could you explain that what had brought you to her doorstep wasn't a miss-step on Joel's side, but a melt-down on yours and the subsequent overwhelming shame of Joel not only having been a witness, but the one to have helped you through it? A 'no' was just so much easier, and even though Maria didn't look like she fully believed you, she took you off patrol and gave you the day off, with the reminder that you could come talk to her about anything, anytime.

The next morning, you were back on Tommy and Maria's doorstep, asking if you could be placed with livestock care instead. You were nowhere nearly fully-recovered, but shame and worry had driven you out of your house and back to theirs. You weren't gonna be a leech, living off of other people's hard work. No matter how low you felt, you were determined to contribute to this community - preferably somewhere that wasn't right next to Joel. Tommy was eyeing you suspiciously, concern written all over his face, and a vague memory of him showing up behind Joel's house while you were 'chopping firewood' popped into the back of your head. The blood rushed to your head and painted you a deep shade of red, but you withstood his gaze regardless. Not a day later, you started at the stables. You haven't been back to patrol since.

"Remember how you said you thought I would be working with the animals, given my background on a farm? Well, turns out you were on to something. I didn't know how much I missed it until I was right back in it." You smile at him and try to ignore the feeling of guilt that's trying to take hold in your stomach. Even though you know you don't 'owe' Joel an explanation, the last thing you want is for him to be thinking you're avoiding him.

Especially if the opposite is true.

You're thriving in your new job placement, there's no denying that. You can't even really take credit for the idea either - it was simply the first thing you could think of in the heat of the moment, a fluke, really, but in a weird, cosmical-fate-kind-of-way, it looks like your abrupt change of profession has landed you exactly where you need to be. The work has a sense of familiarity about it that - for once (miraculously) - doesn't bring about pain. Instead, the smell of hay and manure takes you back to your childhood farm's stables, and so many of your daily tasks come naturally to you, your hands seemingly moving on their own accord through muscle memory. Sure, it's far more labor-intensive than any of your patrols have been and a lot smellier - most days, you come home covered in tiny flakes of straw and various spots of god-knows-what on your clothing, reeking of manure, wool and hay, but you don't mind. Somehow, feeling the day's work in your bones and carrying the evidence of your labor on your clothes helps you feel a sense of achievement at the end of a day, something that you didn't have on your patrols. On top of that, the body-intensive work seems to be a tremendous help with your insomnia: more often now than not, it takes you a lot less time to fall asleep. From all of your job's perks, this might just be your personal favorite.

There is only one downside to your new work arrangement, and ironically, it's the very reason you ditched patrols in the first place:

You don't get to see Joel as much as you did before.

You only managed to avoid him for a couple of days after the 'incident' before he tracked you down and set you right. It hadn't been enough time to properly work through the aftermath of your meltdown, so even though he made a point of saying you had nothing to be embarrassed about, shame and guilt stayed glued to you for days, despite your various tries to rid yourself of them. They were most present when he was present, a walking and talking reminder of who you'd bared your insides to in one of your weakest moments, and you found it easier to work through your feelings when Joel wasn't around. Your new job came in quite handy that way.

And then of course, there was that kiss on your forehead that you kept and keep thinking about, no matter how much you try not to. It added to the pile of feelings you had to sort through, spicing up the mix by adding very conflicting emotions.

On one hand, thinking back to the gentle gesture makes something tiny flutter in your belly, a sensation you're not sure you've ever truly felt before. Sure, there have been men in your life, but most of these arrangements were just that, arrangements, a means-to-an-end, an offering of yourself in exchange for safety or food. By some miracle, your life in Jackson has no need for arrangements like that. You still have your doubts about your safety, although that's more of a general concern that applies to the safety of Jackson as a whole, rather than concerns in regards to specific members of Jackson. Men are no longer a double-edged sword that can provide safety or be what you need protecting from, they're suddenly an option. It's a concept that is entirely new to you and that you weren't thinking about in the least, until that goddamn kiss on your forehead.

That kiss has opened up a world of possibilities you never previously had the luxury of even thinking about, and now, you can't stop thinking about it. It's come to a point where you only have to be in Joel's proximity to feel that tiny flutter in your belly. It's both delightful and entirely terrifying, so much so that you find yourself in a constant, sometimes overlapping loop of wanting to be close to Joel and wanting to get as far away from him as possible.

"Yeah well, I get it. Might've won against one horse, but an entire farm's worth of livestock? I can't compete with that." There's a glint in Joel's eyes, a small playful twinkle that creases the corners of his eyes and tugs on his lips and you can't help but laugh.

"Oh, don't sell yourself short now. You could've taken on two horses easily, maybe even three. It's the cows that are my weak-spot. You never stood a chance against those."

Joel's hand dramatically clutches at his chest as if you just delivered a blow to it. "Oof. Did what I could, though. Gotta know when to quit."

There it is again, that little flutter in your belly as you giggle and hit his arm playfully. It warms your belly and sends warmth up into your nose, your cheeks and your ears, even your hands and fingers. The skin that touched his jacket on impact is tingling and you suddenly have the strange urge to lay a hand on the jeans material again, though this time more softly and not in a rushed smack.

The impulse is so bizarre to you that you quickly withdraw your hand and tighten your clutch on the reins again. "Better get this lady inside her box. She's had quite the eventful morning."

The town hall is already bustling when you arrive. Although town meetings are open to everyone in Jackson, attendance isn't required unless you've been summoned, so the audience usually consists of Jackson's adults, with just a few of the kids and teens here and there.

Tonight is no different. As expected, quite a few seats are already occupied, but some of the backrows still have some free spots. Just when you choose one - close to the aisle, and, conveniently, close to the back exit - Evelyn claps her hands together. "Okay, let's get started, everyone." Just like any good classroom back in the day, everyone quiets down quickly until you can only hear the occasional foot shuffle or coughing.

"Thank you. I hereby declare this town meeting open. Gary, it's your turn." Evelyn takes her seat in the half-circle that's positioned so it faces the crowd and motions towards one of her neighbors.

Town meetings always follow the same structure. Someone on the council opens the meeting by giving an overview of the last month. This includes all kinds of stats: how that month's harvest went, animal count, town incidents (if any took place) or patrol reports about infected sightings or run-ins with raiders. Presumably, this is also the segment in which they provided updates about your health, back when you first arrived in Jackson. As far as journalism goes, this is the closest to a news source that Jackson has.

The news segment is followed by the 'open floor'. For this part, people can bring forward their nuisances that they were unable to resolve on their own. Just like the town meeting itself, this segment is open to every inhabitant of the town, council members included. You have yet to see a serious issue be brought up for this segment, but that speaks for the town's conflict management. Most people hash it out between themselves, and if anything does land in front of the council, it's typically something small or petty, like a drunken dispute or a missed shift.

The last item on the agenda tends to be the most interesting one: pending tasks, jobs and missions.

As with any town, small tasks and jobs can come up that are out-of-the-ordinary or temporary, yet no less urgent or to be overlooked. According to Joel, this is where they sometimes offer special rewards, depending on the appeal of the task. So far, there has been nothing in this segment that's caught your attention, but this part always has you on high alert.

You lean forward in anticipation as Tommy reads out a few smaller tasks that need to be taken care of, waiting for a good catch for yourself.

Surprisingly, you don't have to wait very long.

Joel's not a huge fan of town meetings. They tend to bore him, but he attends them anyway, mostly for Tommy and Maria and because it's good to get updates about the town once in a while. For today's meeting, there might have been the additional motivational factor of you being there, but he tries not to think about that too much.

Joel comes in as one of the last people. Most seats are already taken, but he doesn't mind, preferring to stand anyway.

Although you sit with your back to him, he spots you almost instantly, the backside of you standing out to him as if someone's casting a spotlight on you.

The meeting drones on, and Joel only half listens as he's leaning against one of the wooden pillars. His eyes wander across the room periodically, taking in Jackson's people as they react to news and chatter amongst themselves occasionally. It's a good way to get a read of the room, a habit he picked up in Boston and hasn't been able to shake yet. Despite Jackson being relatively safe, he still feels the need to get a feel for the current mood of Jackson's inhabitants. Never know when things might turn sour.

There's no denial about where his eyes wander most frequently. Every time he catches himself, he averts his gaze and hopes you don't feel him staring holes into the back of your head, just to repeat the process a couple of minutes later. You seem pretty relaxed, judging by your body language, until it's Tommy's turn to announce upcoming tasks and missions. He might have missed if you weren't secretly the center of his attention, but he immediately catches the way you lean forward when Tommy begins to speak.

"As Gary mentioned, one of our cows passed away at the start of the month. We knew it was coming and we hoped she'd pull through the winter, and bless that girl, she did. Still, we're one cow short now, and that just won't do. We'd like to put together a crew of at least two people to scour the nearby towns and places we last knew to hold some cows, see if any of them are still there. Any takers?"

To Joel's surprise, your hand flies up almost instantly.

Adding to his surprise, he feels his own hand raising before he even knows what he's doing.

Tommy's mouth twitches as his eyes land on his big brother. "And it looks like we got two volunteers!" You turn around in your seat, following Tommy's gaze to somewhere behind yourself before your eyes lock with Joel's. Joel can see the surprise on your face and something else that he can't quite place, and for a second, he's worried he's overstepped. "Perfect. We'll hash the details out later in person." Tommy nods to you and then to Joel, still clearly trying to hide a smirk behind quivering lips. "Okay, moving on. Angelo's caught a cold, so we need someone to take over his shift at the school..."

Tommy's voice fades into the background. Your eyes are still locked on Joel's, the same unreadable expression on your face.

Done messed up now, Joel thinks and has the urge to bang his head against the wooden pillar he's leaning on.

But just then - miraculously - you smile.

Tommy keeps his instructions brief: checkout all last known cow-locations and only bring one back if the circumstances allow for it. You are not to risk your life for that of a cow.

He spends more time repeating that last clause than he does going over the initial plan.

"Do you have a history of saving cows or something?," you ask Joel on your way to the supplies shelter. He responds with something of a chuckle and a scoff.

"Just saying, sounded like he was particularly worried about you risking your life for a cow, of all things."

"Yeah? Who says that wasn't directed at you? Ain't me that's workin' in livestock after all." Joel looks at you with half a smile and you feel that little tingle in your belly respond immediately.

How am I going to survive an entire mission next to this man?, you think and feel the slightest pink seeping into your cheeks.

"Maybe, but he was looking at you the entire time. Am I gonna have to drag you out of there if we see a cow being attacked by infected? I'm just asking so I know what to expect, you know. To prepare."

His snort is paired with a slight eye-roll and you giggle like the little school-girl he makes you feel like.

Betsy gets the two of you sorted with all the supplies you could need. An assortment of ropes, fire-starting-kits, cans of food and a health-kit is already littered on the large table in the middle as she adds two small sleeping bags.

"Now Joel, I know you've been on runs before, so you know how this goes. Y'all can go over to the weapon's den and get whatever y'all fancy. This right here is to cover the survival aspect of it all." Betsy chatters along while she continues to pile supplies onto the table. "Y'all don't gotta take everythin' we hand out, but it's highly recommended that you do. I don't think I gotta say this, but whatever you use up is gone, so make sure you find spares unless you wanna be fresh out of somethin'. Wouldn't complain if you bring back a few extras of whatever I give you either, but it's not a must. I know what it's like out there. I'll just be glad when you two come home safe."

You nod along while you examine everything she puts out on to the table. This is worth gold. Everything you could think of is accounted for, and then some.

You can't help but think that some people out there would kill for a set-up like this. If people knew about Jackson...

"Okay, one more thing." Betsy walks into the adjoining room and returns with a packed up tent in her arms. "It ain't big, but I expect y'all won't mind that, 'specially with temperatures still droppin' below freezin' at night. I reckon y'all might wanna snuggle up, for warmth and all."

You feel the tips of your ears burning while the rest of your face hurries to catch on, coloring you a deep shade of red. Snuggle with Joel. Betsy might as well have suggested you could kiss for warmth with the way you feel about the suggestion. Awkward, definitely, but worse: excited.

Crap crap crap.

You discreetly glance sideways at Joel who appears to be looking anywhere at you, then becomes intensely interested in one of the backpacks Betsy is offering. It might be your imagination, but you could swear that Joel's ears look a lot more flushed than normally.

You start off into your mission early the next morning while it's still dark out. Tommy sees you off at the gate.

"Y'all got everything you need?"

The two of you nod.

"Good. Be back safe. Watch out for each other." Tommy gives a sign to the men manning the door and they crack it open just enough so you and Joel can slip through on your horses.

It's a misty morning and the damp cold seems to find every little hole in your clothing to seep through. Your breath comes out in puffy little white clouds and you thank yourself for having remembered your gloves.

Joel leads the way. Tommy had the route all mapped out for you already, although he agreed to alterations where needed. "The two of you have been out there long enough to know when to trust your gut. If anything feels off, feel free to adjust the route accordingly. Ain't no sense in sticking to a plan if it gets y'all killed," he'd said.

For now, you stick to his pre-planned route and head south-west. The first stop on your map, an old ranch called 'Spring Creek' is just two hours out.

Neither of you speak much during your ride there.

But instead of the awkward silence you were worried about, there's a mutual understanding of enjoyed silence between the two of you that you developed on your patrols together.

Spring Creek turns out to be a bust, which surprises neither of you. 'Lucky' is not really something that's in the cards anymore in this world, as you're both well aware of.

The next stop on the map is less than half an hour away, located not far of the bridge that leads over the Snake River. It's a gorgeous place, once a park and now entirely reclaimed by nature, with the first signs of game here and there, but not a cow in sight.

By the time evening rolls around, you've made it across the river and into what used to be Wilson. Supposedly, there's an old farm a little further out of town if you head west.

When Joel suggests that you save the ranch for the next day, you have no trouble agreeing considering how little daylight you have left. You let your horses trot along the highway until you reach the outskirts of town that's framed nicely by a small forest. Joel leads his horse off the road and onto the open field to where the grass meets the trees.

"Looks like pretty thick foliage. Ain't no getting through with these horses. I'd say we make camp out here. Foliage should have our backs covered nicely, and we got a clear view into each direction over the field. Whaddaya say?"

The light of your small fire dances across your face in the dark, flames leaping over your eyebrows and then cowering beneath your cheekbones, only to lick up the side of your skull in the next second.

Joel watches the fiery dance on your features and finds himself wishing he could be the one to caress your face instead of the flames, trailing your skin with the pads of his fingers the same way the light does.

Although the day's journey was uneventful, all of his senses are on high-alert. Your presence is like a steady hum in the back of his mind. It started out fine this morning, just the spark of excitement he's now used to getting when you come into his proximity. But it has progressed throughout the day, steadily gaining in size and momentum during the shared hours together. Whatever you do to him, it's pulling him towards you like a moth is drawn to the light. If you were a candle in the morning, by now, you shine as bright as the sun.

"Tell me somethin' about yourself," he hears himself say. You look up from the fire and meet his gaze, a lazy smile on your lips. "Like what?"

"Anythin'." Joel wants to know it all. You're the puzzle he can't piece together but can't put on a shelf either. He's tried, and not just once. He tried it after your first patrol together. He tried it after you became a steady guest in his house, bringing warmth and humor with you anytime you came. Joel stepped out of the fuzzy feeling you ignited in him every night, neatly folded it and put it on the shelf in the back of his mind where things go to be forgotten, only to find himself wearing it again the next time he saw you at the dining hall or at his kitchen table.

He can fool himself all he wants, but your presence brings out the truth in him regardless, no matter what he tells himself.

"That's a broad frame."

"I have a broad interest." In you. Joel doesn't add the words, but they hang in the air regardless, almost as bright and shiny as the fire between the two of you. Joel wonders whether you can see them as clearly as he can.

You smile again and fiddle with the zipper of your jacket while you think. "You already know most of it," you finally say and Joel almost calls out bullshit, because he doesn't, not by a longshot. His knowledge on you is filled with gaps, a cloze he desperately wants to fill.

"Then tell me something I don't know yet," he says instead. Questions are piling up on his tongue, but he's biting them down.

What is that sadness that fills you on some days?

and

Do you, God forbid, know the same loss I do?

He sees it mirrored in you, the desperation and soul-wrecking-pain that comes with the loss of a child. It leaves a special kind of imprint that never really goes away, just grows over a little bit, if you're lucky, but it's always still there. Joel's sure he sees it in you, that he recognizes your pain as his own and his heart breaks at the thought of it, of what he thinks you lost, of what he lost himself.

How can I ease your pain?

Will you let me ease your pain?

Joel watches you think again, trying hard to come up with something to tell him that won't reveal too much. He knows the look. He wore it himself for years, not letting anybody close enough to read between the lines.

"You know I had a kid?" Your head perks up and he can see your eyes growing wide in surprise, pupils large and dark.

"A daughter. Name's Sarah." He feels the sting in his chest that always comes out when he talks about her for the first time. It pierces his heart with the same relentless white hot pain, but his flesh is used to it and has adapted over the years. A thick lining of tissue has grown around the spot where the dagger pierces through his skin every time he opens his wound anew. It never truly heals, never hurts any less. It does, however, take less time for the pain to subside now.

Joel takes a few deep breaths as he waits for the pain in his chest to die down. He feels your eyes still trained on him and watching him closely.

"She died the day of the outbreak. A soldier... shot her." He has to press the words out so they don't get stuck in his throat and suffocate him.

A twig snaps and bursts and sends up a shower of sparks into the cold dark air. Joel stares into the fire and waits for the pain to subside as another dagger pierces his chest.

It takes a while for his words to sink in. They bob around of the surface of your consciousness, like paper ships freshly put on water. You watch as they slowly grow heavier and begin to sink, the full weight of his words hitting you more with each word that fills up and eventually sinks to the ground of your mind where you finally grasp their meaning.

He lost a child.

Suddenly it all makes sense.

The way he sometimes looks at you with a sense of understanding that you've never been able to place before.

The way he took care of you on the day of your outburst, no questions asked.

You and her, you got the same kind of twitchy. Tommy's voice echoes in your skull and your vision blurs.

You realize you're crying.

The tears spill out of your eyes before you can stop them, a testament of your own pain, understood in the most horrible way.

You cross the fire in two big strides and fall to your knees in front of Joel where you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his shoulder.

You hold him tight, hands digging into his jacket in an effort to pull him as close as possible, while your tears soak into his shoulder. And then his arms wrap around you in return, holding you with the same feverish intensity that you're holding him with.

"I am so, so sorry," you whisper against his jacket when your tears have dried up enough for you to speak. His answer comes in the form of a kiss on the top of your head, and despite the situation, a shower of warmth rains down your spine from where his lips met your hair.

"I wish I could've met her."

"I wish you could've met her too."

The longer you keep holding on to each other, the more the tenseness leaves your body. The pain lingers, a dull throbbing sensation in your chest that is just all too familiar, but your muscles slowly loosen and you begin to melt into his embrace.

It feels almost shameful, finding pleasure in something that was born out of something so gruesome.

Joel detects the way you slowly wind down and allows himself to run a thumb over your back in small circles.

He holds you and is held back in the dancing light of the fire under the stars until the fire burns down and wishes this would never end.

Maybe he's been through enough. Maybe he's finally endured enough pain for a lifetime, because for once, the universe grants him his wish, and it doesn't end.

When he feels you snaking out of his embrace, his heart drops, his body already missing your touch where it pressed against him, but before he can mourn the moment, you're extending a hand to him.

You lead him into the tent, and his head is spinning, swimming with possibilities that seem too faint and outrageous to even reach before you open up one of the sleeping bags and slip inside, motioning for him to join you.

It takes a moment, but eventually, your sleeping bags are joined up into one large one. Joel's a broad man and sleeping bags are a tight fit on him as is, but with you pressed against his side, he could be getting strangled to death for all he cares.

You settle against him with your head on his shoulder and one arm wrapped around his belly and Joel feels like he's dreaming. He has half a mind to voice his concerns - "What about taking watch?" - but then your finger touches his lips and he ascends to heaven, the first man to be alive and knocking on heaven's door at the same time. "Not a single soul around all day. We're good," you whisper and lay your hand against Joel's cheek, where you draw the same slow circles he drew on your back earlier.

Maybe Tommy's right, is the last thing Joel thinks before he falls asleep. Maybe there's no shame in falling in love.

Series Masterlist - Mobile Masterlist

Feedback is always appreciated! If you have any requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm always happy to practice my writing! :)

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[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Hello

I want to see cowboy reader get captured and hurt by unsub and JJ worried because those two seem to have chemistry

Description: Cowboy reader's father visits, things don't go too well...

Warnings: abuse, abusive parents, abduction, claustrophobia, judgy nurse, hospital visits, child abuse mentions

A/N: I'm panicking that this feels rushed but equally, I started writing this on the 15th of May so it can't be that rushed can it? Lmao (Also I'm so sorry it's taken this long). Posting this before I can doubt myself some more :))

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies @woodandwaxwings @wizardmon3 @aphroditeslovr @ducks118 @azeal-peal @13thdoctor-run @introvertpan84 @goth-boi-atlas @iliketozoneout

You and Spencer stood in front of the geographical profile, to be honest, Spencer was doing most of the work, you were watching the wheels in his brain tick. Since meeting the young doctor, you had almost been in awe of his intelligence and the way his brain worked (and you couldn’t help but want to protect him from the world). 

This precinct was set out slightly different to the others you had been to, this station’s conference room had no windows, purely lit by shitty lights that were screwed into the ceiling. The only way you were able to read in this room was if you also switched on a bright light that was a lot less warm-toned to actually see. 

"(Y/N)?" You snapped out of your train of thought, turning to the voice, it feeling vaguely familiar. 

"Yes?" When you turn to him, you instantly know who it is but you force your face to stay neutral.

"You don't remember me." He manages to look somewhat defeated, you'll give him that. 

"No, I remember you." You said, folding your arms, "You just don't mean anything to me." 

"And why’s that?" 

"You're not worth my energy." 

He places a hand on his heart, "You wound me, son." 

"Shame." You answer, you turn to Spencer, "Can you go get Hotch?" 

Spencer looks at the scene hesitantly, not wanting to leave you alone with the man. Especially if he is your father. "It's okay, Spence." You reassured with a tight smile. 

"Yeah, it's alright, Spence." Your father says as he takes a step towards Spencer. 

When your father takes a step closer to Spencer, before you know it, you have him pinned against the wall. "Don't you even fuckin' dare stand near him." You growl, "I don't care how much you think you've changed, come near him, I'll break you." 

Chuckling, despite his head pressed against the wall, your father turns his head to look at Spencer. "I have changed." 

"Bull. Shit." You force the words out of your mouth, anger flowing through your blood. "Spencer, go get Hotch." You wanted Hotch here for a multitude of reasons. The main three being:

Make sure you don't nearly kill him

Make sure he doesn't nearly kill you

Make sure Spencer is safe 

As soon as he's gone, your father's demeanour shifts and he smirks, "I thought we'd never be alone,"

And with that, he manoeuvers himself and slams your head into the wall, knocking you unconscious. 

When Hotch and Spencer ran back into the room, three minutes later, you were nowhere to be seen. 

You didn't know how long it had been, just that it must have been ages - at least four days. You had been there for ages, in the dark, a closet to be specific. And everywhere hurt - so, so much. Your father had been in multiple times and it was like you were twelve years old again, stuck at home with a monster with no one to save you. Except you knew that you had people in the outside world that actually cared about you (your team).

Each time your father visited you, dragging you out of the closet and throwing you to the floor, he inflicted a different pain that reminded you of your childhood while he hurled insults in your direction. It had been a while since his last visit - a few hours, perhaps - and, to your dismay, you were beginning to worry whether he would come back.

"This ain't creepy at all," You muttered to yourself, perhaps if you closed your eyes and simply pretended you were at home that would help.

You leant against the back of the closet, trying your best to get comfortable. You closed your eyes, picturing your bed at your Mama's house. Everything was okay. "You- You're fine," You mumbled to yourself, clutching your arm tight to your chest, trying to stabilise your shoulder. It had been dislocated on your first day here (wherever here was).

Everything ached heavily, throbbing in beat with your heart. Between the cuts, scratches, and burns, you felt like you couldn't take a full breath. It was dark and you couldn't see. You didn't know who was there, if anyone was really there. God you hated the dark. And it was cold, so very, very cold, you knew there was no way that you had lost enough blood to make it so. You knew that the only way in which it was so cold was that bastard had made sure there was no way heat could get into the room (assuming there wasn't a thermostat).

The beat of your heart filled your ears, mixed with the roaring that was occupying your ear drums. All with such force and such volume that you don't hear the gunshot in the background.

"Everythin's fine, you're gonna get out of this. Team'll find you. It's fine. It's fine-" Your feeble attempt at self-reassurance died in the back of your throat when you heard the familiar unlocking of the closet doors. You curled into yourself further, not looking up when the doors creaked open.

"(Y/N)?" JJ approaches you slowly, and you stare at her, trying to figure out if you've finally gone crazy or if she's really here. God, you hoped it was the latter. You couldn’t help but notice that the air around her seemed slightly brighter.

"JJ?" You wince, not only from the pain it caused in your throat and chest to speak, but by how utterly defeated you sounded.

"I'm here," She answers, "We're all here." With that, there was a small click and light flooded into your room. You winced, quickly ducking your head down and squeezing your eyes shut. When your eyes had adjusted, you opened them, forcing yourself to stand. 

The team's eyes widened at the sight of you, covered in blood and dirt, stripped of your shirt and socks. When you finally looked up, you curled into yourself slightly, trying to ignore the damage. 

You took a breath, "What about-?"

"He's dead." She answers and your shoulders deflate. They did come for you. He was wrong. Of course they would come for you.

"Who- Who shot him?" You asked hesitantly.

"I did," Morgan replied, frowning slightly. No matter what the man had done, he was still technically your biological father. You stumbled over to him, wincing and limping as you did so.

"Thank you," You mumbled, collapsing into a hug when you finally reached him. 

”How about we get you sit down?” Morgan asks gently as Prentiss places a seat next to you. Despite you protesting that you were fine, Morgan helps ease you into the chair while Hotch calls the paramedics to check how far out they were. 

When the paramedics arrived, they were quick to transfer you onto a gurney and then into the ambulance - the team keeping close. 

“Do you want us to call your emergency contact?” The paramedic asked and you shook your head.

“No, no thank you,” You mumbled, giving her a small smile. 

“Are you sure-?”

You nodded, “She, er, she’s already here,” You don’t notice Morgan shoot JJ a knowing smile - who responds with an eye roll and shaking her head.

“Okay, just so we know, who is it?”

“Oh, er, JJ,” You said, nodding to her, “The blonde haired lady,”

The paramedic takes a note of this, jotting it down on your form. “Thank you,”  

When you get to the hospital, you’re settled into a rather uncomfortable hospital bed (but you know better than to complain). They start by giving you pain killers and treating your major wounds - the burns along your side and chest, a variety of deepish cuts along your arms and torso, and finally checking your ribs and collarbone for fractures. You had tried telling them you were fine, but they weren’t having it - especially when they poked it and you cried out in pain.

"We need to take you upstairs," The nurse said, "We need to do an x-ray."

"Upstairs?"

"Yes, the x-ray department is on the fourth floor," The nurse said and you drew in a deep breath. "We need to transfer you into a wheelchair."

Eventually, you were out of your room, trying desperately not to think about the elevator. Being trapped in a small metal box.

"No, I- I'll take the stairs." You mumble, shaking your head as you approach the lift. Not now. You can do this right now. You begin to stand when a hand is placed on your shoulder, instantly making you feel relaxed. You know its her without even having to look.

"You know you can't take the stairs right now," She responds quietly.

"JJ, I'm fine." You answer, grinding your jaw. You did not want to go in that lift under any circumstances.

"It's the only way to get there."

"Then I won't go,"

"You need to get an x-ray,"

"Don't need to."

"What would help you feel safer?" Her voice is soft, calming.

"You." Your answer is instant, that's not the embarrassing part though. The embarrassing part would be asking to hold her hand. The embarrassing part would be asking if Hotch or Morgan could also come with. You knew that they wouldn't let anything happen to either you or JJ - and they were physically healthy and therefore actually able to protect both you and her (normally you wouldn't have a problem with protecting the pair of you if needed, but you were currently slightly incapacitated).

"What's the other thing?" Damn, she can read you like a book.

You swallow, frowning slightly as you flush red and look down at your hands, watching them tremble for a moment, "H-Hotch or Morgan?"

JJ nods in understanding, gently rubbing her hand along your arm. "Does it matter which one?" When you shake your head, she turns to the nurse, "Can you get Agent Hotchner or Agent Morgan please?"

"For an elevator?" You frown, staring at your hands more intently as your face grows hot, watching as they continue to shake from adrenaline at the idea of being in a lift right now.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying, he's a grown man, he can ride an elevator-"

You can sense the anger radiating off the blonde so you shake your head, "JJ it's fine..." You mumbled, "Let's just go n get it over with."

"No. You'd feel more comfortable with Hotch or Morgan here, so we're going to make sure that one of them are here." She says strongly, not breaking eye contact with the nurse. "So, can you get Agent Hotchner or Agent Morgan. And another nurse."

The nurse stares blankly at her for a moment before nodding and walking off. "Are you alright?" JJ asks softly and you give a small nod, hands continuing to shake. Seeing this she slowly reached down, lightly taking your left hand in her right.

"I-I'm sorry," You mutter before your tone turns bitter. "I shouldn't be feelin' like this. It's just an elevator."

"(Y/N)," You look up at her, "You've been through something most people can't even imagine. You're okay to feel shaken by that."

"M an adult." You said, trying to ignore your eyes began to feel the familiar sting of tears. "I shouldn't be-"

"I'm scared of dogs." JJ said. "I- Spencer was taken by an unsub years ago and his dogs attacked me and now, I'm afraid of dogs. Is that unreasonable? I'm an adult."

"That's different."

"Why? Because I'm a woman?"

"Wha-? No. Because you went through a traumatic experience."

"And this wasn't traumatic?"

"No! This was my childhood! I got over it! I should be fine with this! I shouldn't be here shakin' like a leaf over somethin' I must have gone through a hundred times!" You exclaim, "I should be able to get in an elevator without vibratin' so hard I’m creatin' my very own massage chair!"

"You're allowed to feel this way," JJ says gently as she crouches in front of you. "It's okay to acknowledge things that scare you. And doing this? Getting in an elevator shows how strong you are. Even if it's with two friends."

"Is everything okay?" JJ looks up at Hotch, who let's his gaze settle on your form - he can't see much, but he watches as you lift a trembling hand to your face, presumably to massage your temples. JJ says nothing, unsure of how much you want her to say, so you take the lead.

"I don't wanna go in." You mutter. "I wanna take the stairs."

Hotch had never heard you sound so small. "I get that," Ensuring that his voice is calming, he continues, "But we both know you can't make it up all those stairs right now."

"Its- I feel like 'm trapped and 'm not even inside yet."

"We'll be here the whole time," Hotch adds and you nod.

"Is the other nurse here?"

"Yep," Another voice chimes, "I'm Nurse Maddison."

"Hi," You whisper. "I-I'm not normally like this," You mumble, this was slightly mortifying to say the least.

"That's alright," She replies, "We've all got our fears. I find it difficult to go on public transport - I'm scared of a lack of control."

"I-I'm scared if I get in the lift, I won't be able to get out." You admit. "I'm scared the lights will flicker, n I'll wake up, n I'll still be there. Or worse, the lights will go out n he'll be here."

"Who?" Nurse Maddeline furrows her eyebrows when you don't answer.

"I just really don't want this to be a dream," You whisper.

JJ squeezes your hand lightly, "I promise you, this is real."

"We're here, (Y/N). You're safe. You're with us."

You sat, taking deep breaths outside the elevator for a minute or so. Just catching your breath.

"Are you ready to get in?" She asks. Despite the question, her voice is full of understanding. "We don't have to push any buttons yet, and I can stand in the way of the doors until you're ready."

"Can- Can we do that one? With you in the doors?"

"Of course!" Nurse Maddison gives a small smile before pressing the call button for the elevator.

When she wheels you into the elevator, you forget how to breathe. Shaking your head quickly, you find Hotch and JJ (which is easy as Nurse Maddison placed the wheelchair so that you could see both of your colleagues), "I was wrong, I can't do this-"

"(Y/N), look at me," JJ speaks this time, "You're okay, it's okay."

You shake your head, "No, no, I can't-"

"I need you to calm down for me, okay?" Nurse Maddison says.

"No! No, I can't- I can't do this!" You bow your head, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands.

"(Y/N)." Hotch's voice is stern and makes you look up, "You can do this. I know you think you can't, but you can."

"Do you trust us?" JJ asks and you nod. Because you do. You trust the pair of them with your life. "Then close your eyes." You look at her for a moment before doing as she says, letting your eyes flutter shut. There's a warmth that floods through your body as she takes your hand again and you grip it lightly.

When the doors close, your grip on JJ's hand tightens and your eyes shoot open. "It's alright," Hotch is quick to reassure as JJ rubs soothing circles on your hand. "It won't be long before we reach the floor we need."

"No, no, Hotch, I need out-" You shake your head, desperately trying to get your breathing under control. "Hotch I need out, I can't breathe-"

"(Y/N), look at me." JJ's voice drew your eyes away from Hotch. "You're okay."

"No-"

"Yes you are, you're okay." She says softly, gently squeezing your hand in hers, "We're nearly there."

You pushed the palm of your hand into your eye, trying to force the tears back. "Not a coward." You muttered bitterly to yourself, not caring if the others could hear. You needed to get yourself through this ride without having a panic attack (and it was close). "Not a coward. Not a coward." You mumble the phrase, over and over. Intent on repeating it until you believe it. Of course, before that could happen, there was the familiar ping of an elevator door and your head shot up as they opened.

"Can we get out now?" You asked, looking up, "Please?"

Both Hotch and JJ give you a reassuring smile as Nurse Madeline gently pushes the wheelchair out of the elevator. 

JJ leans forward, so only you can hear her as she whispers, “See, I told you you could do it,” 

The x-ray went relatively smoothly, except for finding out you had three broken ribs and had broken your clavicle. You were also a lot calmer on the way down (still with both Hotch and JJ), feeling relatively calm (in comparison) when they wheeled you back into your room. 

The team immediately greeted you with smiles as you entered your room, Garcia standing up from your bed (where she may or may not have laid down on it).

“So, what’s the verdict, cowboy?” Morgan asked. 

“Um, three broken ribs and clavicle.”

“Clavicle?” Garcia asked.

“Collarbone,” Spencer added. 

“Does that mean no baking for a little while?” Both you and Garcia asked, turning to Hotch (who had to fight off a smile).

“Probably.”

[bucking-mustangs-with-wings]

So I done goofed, and my brain wasn't happy until I wrote a sequel to my little Barbed Wire Hearts snippet/ask/prompt thing from yesterday. So here ya go!

@swifty-fox @moghraidhs this is very much for you because we all needed this to happen

I recommend listening to this while reading, it had me all up in my feels while writing this:

Walking into the hospital parking lot and seeing his old beat up red F150 still sitting there, like a silent vigil awaiting his return was almost a surreal experience for John. As much as he would have found the thought ridiculous in any other situation, he'd almost forgotten it existed in the time he had spent cooped up in the sterile environment of the hospital, mind awash with more pressing matters. Coupled with the stress and worry that had oozed from every single one of his pores like a sickness, the outside world other than room number 13 and its occupant was the only thing he had been mentally able to put any real energy into.

Curt and a few of the other boys had stopped by every few days to slink their way into the wing, jeans and boots and cowboy hats sticking out like a sore thumb amongst scrubs and white coats and had brought him a duffle bag of spare clothes and toiletries so he could use the visitor's showers. He'd made it pretty clear in the first days that he wouldn't be leaving any time soon, not even to pick himself up anything to eat (when he could remember to).

Curt had been an angel in that sense, too. He'd brought Bucky dinner a few nights in a row in the fortnight he was there, some cheap takeaway from one of the diners in the middle of town, burgers and such. And those nights he couldn't make it in to check up on things John had very helpfully been informed by one of the nurses on shift that she was to remind him to eat, even if it was from one of the crappy vending machines dotting the hospital corridors at the behest of a very worried friend that had called the front desk. The soft amused smile the woman had flashed his way alerted him to the fact that none of the nurses were bothered by Curt's mother-hen phonecalls. Especially when Bucky hadn't turned his phone off of silent since he'd been there and one too many calls had gone to voicemail. He knew he'd be getting an earful off Curt and the other boys once he had made it back to the grounds, but he also knew he'd be quickly forgiven his neglect, given the current circumstances.

As he got closer to the truck, pulling his keys out of his coat pocket and twirling them around his index finger, Bucky took a quick glance back over his shoulder at the figure not too far behind him, making sure they were still following him.

Buck still looked like he'd been hit by a semi truck, blue eyes cast down to the pavement as he diligently followed Bucky on auto-pilot, bruises still stark over his face, albeit slightly faded now, but still evident. Still sore looking. His left arm was cast from the hand all the way up to his elbow, held up gently in a sling over his good shoulder. Bucky had no doubt the other man could still feel the telltale ache in his left shoulder-socket where it had been popped completely out in the accident, features wincing every now and then if he stepped too heavily and jostled himself.

His blond hair was in a messed up disarray, bed-hair born of two weeks of laying in an uncomfortable hospital bed for hours at a time, sticking up in some places and falling softly across his forehead in others. The nurses had helped him up and into the room's private bathroom the night before and had helped him finally have a shower before he got discharged the next morning, an awkward affair that Bucky knew the blond didn't necessarily want to talk about if the blush that had painted his pale cheeks when prodded was anything to go by. Better than having to be given a spongebath though, by a long shot, and Bucky couldn't have agreed more.

He also couldn't help the small smile that pulled up at the corner of his lips as he raked his gaze over the smaller man's body, taking in the soft grey over-sized sweatpants (Bucky's) tightened as much as the drawstrings would allow around thinner hips, tucked loosely into worn Twisted X square toe boots. A good idea in hindsight when there was no way Buck would have been able to get himself into a pair of his usual jeans with the soreness of the bruising up his thigh and over the jut of his hip bone, matching his face in colour albeit a bit more angrier looking.

The nights were a bit cooler than they were a week or so before, so at Bucky's insistence Gale was also draped in one of John's massive Ariat puffer jackets, only one arm able to fill the sleeves while the other hung uselessly at Gale's side. With the collar pulled up around his ears, John felt a sense of pride and slight satisfaction knowing he was wearing his clothes. Everything but the plain white tshirt underneath the draped layers.

Walking over to the passenger side quickly after shoving the key in the driver's side door and unlocking it, Bucky opened the passenger door and swept his other arm out in a low gesture, a smirk on his face.

"After you, princess," he drawled, delighting in the unimpressed lift of an unbruised brow shot in his direction, but no real heat or disdain behind it.

He patiently waited with the door held open, allowing Buck to gingerly hoist himself up into the truck's cab knowing if he tried to assist in any way he'd get sworn at for his trouble, ever the independent hard-headed idiot Buck often was. Once the other man was seated comfortably, only a few winces and sharp intake of breath painfully hissed through clenched teeth, Bucky carefully shut the door and trotted around the front of the truck to climb into the driver's seat. He gave a double glance into the truck bed at his and Buck's bags he had tossed in a little while earlier before he'd gone back in to help with the discharge papers.

The old truck roared to life without much protest, and he couldn't help the self-satisfied little chuckle that escaped him, patting the dash like the vehicle was a loyal old dog at his heels. As much as he'd nearly forgotten about her amongst the chaos, he was happy to be back behind her wheel, even if the leather was peeling just a tiny bit from sun damage. It added more character, he thought.

He looked over at Gale, noticing the younger man sitting still and almost stiff, eyes zeroed in on the dash but glazed over in thought and what was probably left over sedation from the heavy painkillers he was given. His expression was blank, nothing giving away even the slightest hint at what was running through that pretty head of his, and Bucky felt that telltale tightening in his throat creep up again. But before he let it get a permanent grip, he reached forward, grabbing the black felt hat that had been sitting on the dash since the previous day (thanks, Curt) and picking it up before turning and dropping it perfectly over Buck's head.

The other man flinched in surprise, ripped out of his thoughts and his bright blue eyes coming back into focus as he turned to look at Bucky, a confused frown creasing his brow as he brought up his working hand and felt the hat underneath his fingers. He straightened it a few centimetres, eyes looking between Bucky's in a numb sort of questioning expression.

"My hat," he said dumbly, voice quieter and still that hint of lost that had Bucky swallowing back emotions that he didn't want to put a name to, instead letting a bright smile grow from his smirk in the blond's direction, teeth bright.

"Well, can't be much of a cowboy without your hat now, can you?" Bucky smiled, watching every minute change in Buck's expression like a hawk. He was rewarded with a swooping sensation in his chest when he noticed the smallest grin colour Buck's face, eyes flickering away from Bucky's with a small huff of a laugh to focus out the windshield.

"Don't think I'll be much of a cowboy for the next couple weeks, Bucky," Gale muttered. As if in stark reminder, he winced as he shifted slightly in the worn leather seat, obviously jostling one of the many painful areas littering his body.

"Ahhh come on," Bucky joked, leaning forward slightly to grip the ancient clutch and put the truck into gear. "You're still one of the best cowboys around, even if you are bruised and battered to high heaven."

Gale huffed out another light breath of a laugh, lifting his good elbow up to rest it against the open window, hand and fingers dangling on the outside and tapping a gentle beat against the metal of the door as Bucky pulled the vehicle out and towards the end of the parking lot onto the main road.

The next half hour of the drive back to the rodeo grounds was silent, just the monotone hum of the local radio turned down to barely audible from the truck's old speakers and the quick whoosh of another vehicle every now and then, passing them on the highway on the way back to where they'd just came from. The sun had dipped low enough on the horizon now that the reaching expanse of the county they were in painted a picture through the slightly dirty windshield, sky lit up in oranges and reds streaked through by a few stray clouds.

Bucky would hazard glances from the corner of his eyes every now and then at Gale, who sat still and stoic beside him, chin now rested in the palm of his hand against the window, eyes cast out to the scenery that rolled by. Bucky could tell that under the surface there was something much more sinister and harsh squeezing at Buck's heart and thoughts, spiraling down deep into a void that he worried he wouldn't be able to pull the younger man out of, even if he lassoed him like a runaway steer.

At some point, with a nervous swallow, Bucky reached his free hand out, covering Buck's thigh with the expanse of it, feeling the tension in the muscles and gave what he hoped was a comforting squeeze, gentle and barely there, but a reminder he was right there with him all the same. He counted it as a win when he noticed Buck's face turn to him slightly with a soft smile, eyes very obviously still avoiding John's own before turning back to the view from the window. It had Bucky releasing a long breath he hadn't realised he had been holding hostage in his chest. He didn't attempt to remove his hand, and Buck didn't make any effort to shift out from under it. If anything, he leaned into the touch, knee swinging softly towards the gear stick in Bucky's general direction after a few moments. A silent thank you.

Bucky couldn't help the gentle self-satisfied smile that graced itself onto his face.

By the time Bucky turned the truck off the highway and through the big open gates of the grounds, the sun had dipped that much further underneath the distant mountains that everything was washed in a barely perceivable darkness. What was left of the sunset was slowly turning itself to the deep blue of the night, stars beginning to reveal themselves against the quickly fading orange glow.

As the beam of the truck's headlights lit up the dirt road further into the grounds and towards the still set up camps close by the back of the arena, the familiar sight of gooseneck trailers and camper trailers, awnings folded out and a pit fire settled in the middle amongst them came more into view.

They could see the silhouettes of a dozen people, Curt and Dougie and Brady and the rest all chatting away circled around the fire, beers in a few hands as Bucky slowly pulled the truck to a stop up beside Crosby's trailer. It wasn't until he had turned off the engine, hopping out of the cab with stiff knees and moved around to Buck's side that Curt's voice cut through the night and reached them through the other voices.

"Ayyyy, the great Champion returns!" Bucky couldn't help the grin from painting his face as he looked up, mid opening Buck's door and seeing Curt walking in their direction, back lit up in orange from the fire's warmth and arms lifted above his head, beer bottle in one hand.

Buck had only just planted his boots on the ground with a slightly pained grunt before he was swept up in a happy but very careful embrace by Curt, the other shorter man being incredibly cautious as to which parts he touched, but none the less enthusiastic in his greeting. The curve of Buck's own smile, teeth glinting in the half darkness caught Bucky's eye and he couldn't help the weight that lifted from the centre of his chest.

"It's good to see you, Buck. They finally release you from that hellhole, huh? Thought our good ol' Bucky here was gonna rot himself to that chair by your bed if you didn't get outta there soon."

Bucky couldn't help the bashful way he rubbed at the back of his neck at Curt's words, hoping the slight colour that rose to his cheeks wasn't too obvious in the lowlight when Buck shot him a soft glance from his peripheral.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away, Curt," Buck joked back. It was light-hearted and jovial, appeasing Curt's attention on him, but Bucky could see that his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. There was a blank faraway look behind those baby blues, and it made Bucky's chest restrict uncomfortably as he watched as more of the boys made their way over. They all stepped forward to squeeze the blond cowboy's good shoulder or shake his good hand, some like Brady and Jack and Crosby mirroring Curt and pulling Buck into a gentle embrace, ever careful of his injuries.

Once they had all made their way over to the fire's warmth, Curt all but forcing Buck into one of the fold out camper chairs in his usual mother hen ways, everyone took their turn updating him and Bucky on everything they had missed while they had been in the hospital. Buck more-so, considering the first almost week the man had been unconscious for most of the time and had missed more than Bucky had.

Curt took a few moments to admonish Bucky like he had expected at having had his phone on silent for nearly the entire time, but Bucky just waved him off with a cocky smirk. He kept glancing at Buck every few minutes, taking note of every small change in the blond's expression, the way he joked with the others, the small smiles and tilt of his chin when he laughed as much as his broken ribs would allow him to in their process of healing. To any of the others, everything was normal, Buck's gentle quiet nature and injuries the reasoning as to why he wasn't quite himself yet, why there wasn't that normal spark in the shine of his eyes. But Bucky could feel the tension, the exhaustion that was more than just from pain and injury radiating from Buck like he was melded with the man's very mind himself. Could see the way he tucked himself further underneath Bucky's jacket every now and then with a faraway look on his face before he made himself more alert to the conversations around him.

Bucky just sat and boded his time, happy to not have to make too much small talk amongst the other boys as the night further darkened and the numbers on his watch got later and later.

When most of the conversations had died down and a few of the boys had retired to their trailers for the night, a few still milling about with the happiness that both Buckies return had caused and talking amongst themselves, voices slightly slurred from alcohol, Bucky stood from his seat against the wheel of one of the goosnecks and shoved his slightly chilled hands deep into his pocket. Making his way over to where Buck was still seated in the camper chair, staring blankly into the fire which wasn't as fierce as earlier in the evening now.

Leaning down, his lips close to Buck's ear from behind he whispered a low "Come on, Sunshine, follow me for a sec. Got something I wanna show ya."

He smirked when Buck jumped slightly in surprise at the sound of his voice so close, obviously so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed Bucky make his way over. Craning his neck backwards so he could look up at Bucky's face, blue eyes trying hard to focus on him upside down, he frowned in question.

"Come on," Bucky repeated, smile soft and obvious as he stepped to the side a little and held his hand out to Buck in an offer to help hoist him to his feet. The blond almost looked like he wasn't going to move, body language hesitant and lips pursing into a tight line, before he sighed and reached out with his good hand, gripping Bucky's offered firmly and allowing himself to be lifted into standing, a small grimace of pain fluttering across his features at his ribs obviously screaming in protest.

Once Bucky was sure he had recovered, he tugged at their joined hands gently, tilting his chin in the direction of the arena with a small smile. Buck looked at him, still questioning in his gaze before he allowed himself to be lead through the cluster of trailers. He didn't drop Bucky's hand, but instead almost hesitantly thread their fingers together. Bucky couldn't help his heart from soaring as he gave Gale's hand a gentle squeeze in silent comfort.

Like second nature he guided Gale out of the gathered maze of trailers, the sounds of the other boy's voices growing further and further behind them until the arena was not far in front of them, only just visible by some of the smaller flood-lights that were still on around the barriers. When they got closer, and Bucky turned towards the holding yards, he felt Gale falter slightly, his hand pulling back subconsciously but he didn't drop their hold.

Bucky looked back at Gale's face, seeing the blond's eyes focused out onto the sands, expression blank but taut like a frayed guitar string on the verge of snapping, and he slowed his stride.

"Hey," Bucky spoke gently, like he was approaching a ready-to-spook horse. When Buck still didn't look at him, he gave their still joined hands a squeeze and a shake, until Gale finally snapped his eyes back to Bucky's. They were wide and had a look of slight fear buried deep behind, flickering over Bucky's face trying to look for some semblance of comfort. Bucky held their gaze for a few moments, both men having stopped in their journey, and waited until he knew Buck was partially back in the present. "Hey it's okay, I promise. Trust me."

Gale's expression was still one of veiled panic and grief for a few more seconds, before he found whatever he was looking for in Bucky's own face and let his shoulders slouch and relax, breath exhaling slowly with a small nod.

With a comforting smile, Bucky tugged at their hands gently until Gale fell back into step behind him, eyes still glancing over to the middle of the arena every now and then like he was seeing invisible monsters advancing towards them.

Bucky could only imagine what was going through the smaller man's head, still often privvy to his own torturous memories and images from the day of Buck's accident no matter how hard he tried to forget and push them back. Every now and then the picture of Gale's face, bright red blood flowing down one side of it and slack in unconsciousness, pale and looking for all intent and purposes dead kept haunting him. But he stamped those thoughts down, focusing instead on the feeling of Buck's thankfully now warm fingers between his own, the slight sensation of his fluttering pulse.

Making it to the holding yards out behind the bull chutes, Bucky carefully made his way through the maze of yards, keeping a firm grip on Buck's hand as the two men threaded their way in and out between metal gates and runs in the dark.

Gale's voice, hushed and urgent, reached him from behind, and the smile only grew on his face. "Bucky I can't fucking see. We're both gonna fall head over tit if you don't slow-"

"Shhh!" Bucky answered back, only pulling Gale further into the pens.

Gale made an affronted noise, mouth parted. "Did you just fucking shush me?!"

"Sure did, now if you'd just shut your pretty mouth and look."

Gale gave his hand a harsh squeeze in retaliation. "Did you forget the part where I just said I can't see? What the hell am I even supposed to be looking a-"

Buck froze in his following of Bucky, the taller man allowing himself to be pulled to a complete stop when Buck's hand pulled against his as the whuffled knicker of a familiar horse finally reached the blond's ears in the darkness.

Bucky turned, facing Buck so he could catch sight of the smaller man's face in the dim light, and he couldn't help the genuine warm smile that split his face, noticing Gale's eyes focused somewhere off behind him, shock evident and an obvious glint of wetness beginning to form against dark blond bottom lashes.

His lips moved silently, stuck on actually producing any noise, until he glanced up at Bucky, brow furrowing into a look of pain. "John.."

"She's been waitin' for you," John said simply in response, still smiling brightly and allowing Buck's hand to drop from his as the blond stepped past him towards the last square pen at the end of the lane.

Almost as if he was seeing a ghost, Buck walked up carefully, eyes flickering over every inch of the palomino mare's body, taking in every inch of her as she walked up to the rails and shoved her head through and pushed her nose into Gale's chest, still murmuring at him. He couldn't help the way his breath rushed out of him at the contact, good hand lifting up shakily until he rested it on the white of her blaze. She nudged at him again, a questioning sort of move and lipped at the cast around his other arm. A silent question of 'what the hell is this thing? Why do you have this?'

Bucky slowly walked up to stand beside Buck, reaching up and resting his arms onto the higher rails in a casual air of relaxtion, and watched, transfixed as Gale just stared at the horse, hand still on her face, the younger's breathing jagged and coming in short bursts. Shock, relief.

After a few more moments, Buck seemed to come back to himself, a disbelieving breath escaping parted lips and turned his gaze back to Bucky. John could see the tears still evident in the other man's lower lashes, glittering and growing and threatening to fall to the dust underneath them.

"H-how..?"

Bucky smiled at him, resting his forehead against his folded arms and looked at the mare in question. "Curt's been looking after her while you were gone. Made sure she was real pampered, 'til you got back and did the pampering yourself."

"But she.. Bucky, I thought she was.."

Bucky chuckled, low and easy, and nudged his shoulder against Gale's. "What, dead? Nahhh, barely got a scrape on her. Tiny little cut just above the front hoof. Vet didn't even have to wrap it."

At John's words it was like a dam broke from within Buck, and he could only watch helpless as the tears gathered in the blond's eyes finally fell down his cheeks in silvery lines as he squeezed them shut, body bowing over at the waist with his good hand braced against his knee before straightening again. Buck tilted his face to the sky for a few seconds, breathing ragged, a barely audible sob hitching from his lungs painfully.

"I thought she broke her neck. God, Bucky I thought she was fucking dead, I thought she'd broke a leg, and she had to be shot. Fuck I- As soon as I woke up, that's all I could... that's all I could fucking-"

John stepped up to Gale, reaching up and pulling the smaller man against his broad chest and held him there, feeling the small tremors that wracked Gale's broken body. He put a hand against the back of Gale's head, fingers threading through golden strands, hat getting knocked off kilter and falling onto the ground.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. Everything's okay. Baby's okay. She's as tough as her goddamn rider," Bucky shushed him gently, resting his cheek against the top of Buck's head and just allowing the other to cry all but silently into his neck. He could feel the air chill the wetness there and looked up to the stars himself and thanked whatever was watching over them that Buck was still here, that he was still alive and able to be held in his arms like this. He felt his own eyes begin to gather tears at the fragility of the man in his arms, and swallowed harshly against them.

Bucky inhaled deeply, Gale's good hand clutched desperately in the side of his jacket, a warm weight sitting there as he pressed his lips into the crown of Buck's hair.

"Think she came out of it a bit better than you did, though," he whispered as an afterthought, lips curving into a smirk when he felt Gale clench his hand into a fist and thump it into his ribs in reply. He couldn't help the chuckle that rumbled in his chest, only slightly moving back so that he could look down at Buck, his smirk melting into a soft smile at the sight of Gale now looking up at him. Tear stained cheeks and lashes clumped together, a defiant glare but with no real malice directed at him, eyes bright and blue and more reminiscent of the Buck that John knew and adored.

Gale's eyes flickered from his down to his lips and back, frown easing into something much softer and more vulnerable, and Bucky thought his heart would explode at the pure emotion he could see mirrored in Buck's irises. His breath stuttered, smile slipping off of his lips and heart thundering like a freight train behind his ribs.

Everything fell into a syrupy slow motion as they stared at eachother, Bucky's hand that had been gently cupping the back of Buck's head slowly slipping around to cup the other man's cheek, slow and careful, thumb sweeping over the sharp line of his jaw in a barely there caress.

He swallowed thickly, noticing Buck nudge into that hold, eyes lowering back to his lips. He felt like his entire world was tilting on its axis, narrowing down to just the two of them standing out in the middle of the stock pens behind the arena where he nearly lost the one thing he had ever truly cared for more than the feeling of being perched up on a raging bull's back. Even riding a bull made his heart thunder less than it was right now.

Carefully, giving Gale the chance to pull away, he sighed, breath ghosting over the other man's lips. "Buck, I-"

"Shut the fuck up and kiss me John before we both die of old age," Gale whispered harshly, good hand that was gripping into Bucky's jacket tugging now and John couldn't help the surprised smile from lifting his lips.

"Sure thing, cowboy," John laughed silently, revelling in the familiar exasperated roll of Buck's eyes towards him before he surged forward and ever so gently pressed his lips against Gale's, eyes closing against the absolutely overwhelming sparks that ignited in his chest like someone had just lit fireworks behind his sternum.

Gale's lips were soft, just like he'd imagined a million times, pliant and warm and so gentle it stole his breath away, and it wasn't until Buck's good hand reached up and threaded through his dark curls that he allowed himself to deepen the kiss, tilting his head slightly. His lips parted, allowing Buck the access to slip his tongue carefully along his own, insistent and starved but always gentle. He could feel the taut guitar string tension like a mockery of earlier in the night behind Gale's kiss, a long awaited hunger like a man starved and then unleashed among all the sustenance he could have ever wished for.

It wasn't until Buck made a small sound in the back of his throat, a small needy gasp that Bucky allowed himself to pull back slightly, letting his lips linger as he allowed Buck a few more soft kisses before he gasped himself, pulling air into his starved lungs and it was only then he realised that at some point he had stopped breathing all together.

Buck didn't chase, happy and content with what had just happened, but still comfortable to stay wrapped up in John's arms, no sign of regret or fear in any way, and Bucky let his eyes open slowly and wander over the ruined and wrecked expression on the other man's face. Kiss swollen lips were still parted, breath huffing sharply, body still trembling but for entirely different reasons than before now, and Bucky didn't think he had ever seen anything more perfect, more beautiful in his life. Nothing, not even winning the PBR in Vegas could make him feel as elated or wonder-struck as this moment right here, having just kissed Gale fucking Cleven in some random rodeo grounds.

Trying for a few moments to catch his breath, Bucky let his thumb graze over Gale's jaw again in a gentle gesture, watching half lidded blue eyes peer up at him in wonder. He couldn't help the breathless laugh that escaped him, forehead bumping against Buck's, tips of their noses touching shortly after.

Baby knickered from behind them, shocking them back slightly into the present and John laughed again, the mare reminding him of something.

"By the way," Bucky panted, grin curving even further "Curt may wanna demand some compensation looking after your girl. He's down one half of an ass-cheek as of two days ago. She's got a nice pair of chompers on 'er."

Buck realed back, shock evident in his eyes and the gape of his mouth. "She fuckin' what?"

[sleekervae]

The Bride [0.5]

Masterlist

A/N: I had a nice little push to get this next instalment out. Thanks again for all the support, I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it!

Pairing: billy the kid x fem!reader

Summary: Jesse returns to the ranch

Warnings: sad smut, angst, alcohol consumption, guns

Word Count: 4,987

Tag List: @poppyflower-22 @ponyslayer

Time was a luxury not enough people appreciated.

Billy and Eleanor still had a few days alone together, and they made the most of it that they could; chores in the house, exploring the land, Billy even taught Eleanor how to shoot a gun. She lamented that despite being Jesse's best mole, he still refused to get her a gun. Billy figured if she couldn't get one yet, the least he could do was show her how to use one properly.

And when the end of the day came, they'd spend their nights curled by the fire, or in bed, learning everything about each other both inside and out. Billy was quickly becoming enamoured with Eleanor, the dimples in her smile, how her brown eyes shone gold in the glow of the fire, her sharp sense of humour, the way her legs clamped around him with every shattering thrust he delivered her. Despite her lifestyle, Eleanor was stable for Billy, he became so comfortable around her very quickly.

But that, of course, was a problem.

A week's time was up soon enough, and while Billy was helping Eleanor draw up water from the well, they both turned when they heard horses thundering down the hill, following by the yips and whoops of the cowboys who rode them. Jesse and his gang had returned; and as the smile fell from Eleanor's face, Billy had a sinking feeling their paradise together was coming to an abrupt, unfortunate end.

The moment Jesse dismounted his horse, it was as though a switch flipped in Eleanor and she suddenly became aloof and sardonic all over again. Just as she had been when he found her in Silver City...

"My God, look-it what the cat dragged back," she sauntered over, her hands stuffed in her back pockets.

Jesse chuckled as he dismounted, "Thought you'd be happier to see me, Ellie,"

"I'm happy to see you alive, that counts for somethin'," she bypassed him to catch up with the rest of the gang. Billy meanwhile remained on the spot, curiosity and apprehension rippling down his spine as Jesse came over.

"Billy. You're alive,"

Billy smiled back, "Guess I am,"

"I've missed you," he grinned, his arm fell on his shoulder with a firm squeeze, "Thank God we found you," he then turned to his gang as the approached, still mounted on their horses, sweaty dirty, and beaten down under the sun.

"Fellas! This here is a very old friend of mine!" he then turned back to Billy, a glimmer of something prideful in his gaze, "Kid Antrim," none of his gang uttered a hello, barely any acknowledgement. Instead they simply looked at each other, perplexed perhaps that the last time they saw this kid he was within death's very grasp.

Jesse paid them no heed, "I hope Ellie's been taking good care of you," he said.

Billy's gaze drifted to Eleanor as she approached slowly, weaving between the horses. Her eyes, usually so expressive, were now cold and distant. Billy nodded, "She took care of me like a nurse. Couldn't have been kinder,"

There was no exaggeration in his words, no embellishment needed. But he caught something in her face, a flicker of an emotion he hadn't seen in her since they first met: a profound sadness.

There was a silent agreement between them not to speak of their... relationship. Not when he helped her hook up the horses, not when she started to fix up dinner, not when he offered to go chop her more firewood. It was suddenly as if they were complete strangers, polite to one another but the vigour within her, the passion and joy she'd exuded for so many days had dried up as quickly as water in the desert. Billy didn't have to ask why, he didn't want her to be in trouble with Jesse, nor did Eleanor want Jesse to give Billy any trouble.

That being said, Jesse Evans was not a stupid man. From the moment he returned, he could tell something was off with Eleanor. Her witticisms and fast tongue had dried up, she only showed a little bit of fire when she plucked John's hat off his head at the dinner table. Other than that, she seemed... different. Sad. And it wasn't often Jesse ever saw her sad -- or more he hardly cared to notice when she was.

She sat next to him at the dinner table, the boys already diving into the stew and bread she’d prepared. The well water was passed around, everyone’s glasses full. Billy was at the opposite end of the table, engaging in light-hearted banter with the boys as they peppered him with questions about his whereabouts, his adventures, and why Jesse was so adamant about having Billy join the Seven Rivers Gang.

Billy and Eleanor continued their lack of acknowledgment, only briefly meeting each other's gaze across the table. Billy's mind was a whirlpool of conflicting emotions, the warmth of the hearty stew doing little to quell the chill of uncertainty that gripped him. He could feel Eleanor's presence like a magnetic force, drawing his eyes to her even when he tried to focus on the conversation around him. Every laugh from the boys, every clink of cutlery, seemed to amplify the silence between them.

Eleanor, for her part, kept her eyes trained on her plate, but her thoughts were miles away. Her heart was a battlefield, torn between resentment and a lingering sense of connection she couldn’t quite shake. She remembered the times when they had shared stolen glances and secret smiles, but now those memories felt like they belonged to someone else, someone naïve and hopeful.

The boys dispersed soon after dinner was done, off to smoke their cigarettes or traipse around the property. Eleanor was left to clean the dishes, she was silent as ever as Jesse suddenly came in with a bottle of whiskey clenched in his hand.

"Care for some?" he asked, "Might take the edge off?"

"What edge would that be?" she asked, scrubbing hard at the caked on food in her pot.

Jesse came up beside her, placing the bottle on the table with a hard thud, "You've been outta' sorts, today," he noted.

Eleanor scoffed back, side-eyeing him skeptically, "Guess I was just enjoying my peace and quiet for too long," she replied simply.

Jesse cocked his head, leaning in closer, "You sure that's all it is?" he asked, "... Did Billy... he do anything to you while we were gone?"

Eleanor had to be careful not to react too quickly, "He's been helping me all week. Within reason of course. Poor guy slept for nearly two whole days," she moved her pot into the water bucket, rinsing the thin and greasy soap off the metal.

Jesse wanted to believe her, he wanted to believe her so badly. But he also remembered seeing her with Billy back in Silver City, talking more than two strangers should've been. And now it seemed she barely acknowledged him at all. So either something bad happened between them, or something else happened between them and she couldn't tell him about it.

A flame of resentment began to form in his gut, "I'm sure he's been the perfect house guest, right?" he asked, "Lifting the heavy shit, chopping the wood, doing the dishes with you... all the stuff I do for you,"

Eleanor rolled her eyes, "Jesse, you've never helped me wash the dishes. Don't lie to yourself,"

"I'm just making sure I don't have a problem festering in my fucking house," he grumbled back, his jaw tightening.

Eleanor knew all too well where his mind was circling, and how she wished he was actually as dumb as he looked. She turned to him, looking him dead in the eye, noting the slight waver in his stance, smelling the whiskey coming off him as though he'd been to the damn distillery himself.

"There's nothing happening between Billy and I, let that sink into your brain before you go getting yourself worked up over nothing," she never faltered in her own hard stare.

Jesse managed a smile, a chuckle rumbling in the back of his throat as he placed a finger under her chin, "Good," it was all Eleanor could do not to bat him away, "Because I wouldn't want to get his blood all over my floors,"

"You want to help me?" Eleanor huffed, pulling away from his touch, "Go get the linens off the clothes rack outside," she knew he wouldn't do it, but it at least gave him reason enough to leave her alone.

Eleanor threw down her rags into the wash bucket, her elbows settling on the counter as her face fell into her hands. The cold sheen of water on her fingers couldn't quell the noxious heat sizzling through her. Jesse had done it this time; he had really threatened to hurt Billy. Billy, whom he had regarded as a brother for so long. But maybe that was just how Jesse operated—everyone was expendable for the right price, even Billy.

Even Eleanor.

Her mind raced, heart pounding in her chest as the implications of Jesse’s threat settled over her like a heavy shroud. She tried to steady her breath, but the memory of Jesse’s cold, calculating eyes bore into her, making it impossible to think clearly.

She clenched her fists, the rags slipping through her fingers as she struggled to hold onto something—anything—that made sense. It wasn’t just the threat to Billy that stung; it was the realization that she, too, was a pawn in Jesse’s game. She had always known, on some level, that Jesse’s loyalty had its limits. But seeing it laid bare like this, seeing how easily he could turn on someone he once called family, was a brutal reminder of just how precarious her position was.

She was none the wiser to the audience of one just outside. Billy crouched in the shadows outside the kitchen window, his breath shallow, his heart a steady drumbeat in his chest. The night cloaked him in its inky embrace, the cool air nipping at his skin as he strained to hear the conversation inside. Jesse's voice, sharp and commanding, cut through the stillness, making Billy's blood run cold.

His mind raced, torn between his loyalty to Jesse and his growing feelings for Eleanor. He hated the way Jesse treated her, the way he tried to control her with his jealousy and threats. But what could he do? If he confronted Jesse, it would only escalate things, put Eleanor in more danger.

He took a deep breath, his heart heavy with the weight of his internal conflict. He needed to find a way to protect Eleanor, to keep Jesse’s jealousy from tearing them all apart. But for now, all he could do was wait, and hope that he would find the strength to do what was right when the time came.

Eleanor felt around aimlessly across the floor, her only source of light a dimming lantern sitting off in the corner. Her fingers finally nudged against a solid surface, and with nimble nails she gripped the old shoe box and pulled it out from under her bed. She ripped the top off and found her stash of money, and as she counted she was relieved to still find the sum all there. Seventy-five dollars, it wasn't enough for her to branch out on her own just yet, but maybe one day...

She jumped however when she heard a soft knock at her door, moving quickly to shove the money back under her bed and get the door. She figured it might have been Jesse wanting to bust her chops again, or maybe even apologize for earlier. Hell, or it was John or Bill needing help getting to bed after drinking their weight in whiskey.

But instead, she found Billy. And he appeared sober as a nun.

Eleanor shook off her stunned silence, her racing heart slowing down, "You need somethin'?" she asked.

Billy simply shook his head, "Could we talk?" he asked quietly.

Eleanor huffed, glancing both ways down the hall before ushering him in, "Come on, come on," and she shut the door behind her.

Billy took a brief look around, her room was identical to his, minding the bed was actually made and she didn't have clothes hanging out of her dresser drawers.

"I didn't thank you for dinner," he said, turning on his heel towards her.

Eleanor simpered, "There's no need. But I'm glad you enjoyed it," she noted how antsy he seemed, he couldn't quite stand still, "Something wrong, Billy?"

Yeah, yeah you could say that. "I'm leaving, first thing in the morning," he said, "I figured I oughtta' tell you first,"

As much as it hurt Eleanor to hear those words, she couldn't blame him.

"Billy..." she approached him slowly, "You don't have to --"

"I know. But Jesse's in love with you," every word he spoke was like a fork through his tongue, a knife through her ears, "And as much as you may not wanna' hear it, we know what he's capable of. It's safer for both of us if I'm not here,"

Eleanor turned on her heel, her head hanging low. This was typical, how foolish could she have been to think that even for a second, she might get to actually be happy? How foolish could she be to ignore Jesse's flirting, his drunken whims and his outbursts? She always knew how Jesse felt about her, she also knew that sooner or later it may just kill either her or Billy.

Hell, it may even kill Jesse.

"Unless... you want to go with me?" Billy's voice cut through her thoughts, and she turned to look at him, surprised by the hope in his eyes. She remembered the pain in his expression when she had left before, the sense of loss that had lingered between them. Despite everything, he was offering her a way out, a chance to escape the turmoil that surrounded them.

It was tempting, so tempting. The idea of leaving it all behind, of starting fresh somewhere far away, was almost too much to resist. But running away didn't solve anything for her back then, because that was how she ended up here. And if she did run it wouldn't matter because Jesse would still be out there, his feelings unchanged, and she would only be delaying the inevitable.

"I would love to," she spoke softly, her voice wavering on a sob she was holding back, "But I can't. I can't keep running, Billy. The infantry is still after me, and if I go with you then not only do we have to worry about them, but we also have to worry about this," she gestured to the walls on either side of them, "The boys will be coming for me so fast we might not even see 'em coming,"

"But Eleanor --"

"You're fast Billy, but you're not that fast," every word she spoke was harsh, but she needed to be truthful. He was the only person she'd ever truly cared about, and if sacrificing herself was what was best for him then so be it.

Billy came upon her, cupping her face in her hands. His touch was such a stark contrast to Jesse's, warm and gentle, he didn't elicit a frigid chills within her.

"I love you," he spoke with purpose, his eyes never wavering, his tone solid, "I don't care where we go, I'd protect you across the plains with my bare hands if I had to,"

Funnily enough, Eleanor remembered Jesse something so similar to her when they'd met, "You don't love me, Billy," she replied bitterly, "You don't even know what that means,"

He scoffed softly, a bitter laugh escaping him, "Don't I? Do you really believe I haven't spent countless days thinking about you? Searching for you? You don't think I notice the gold in your eyes? How much I love hearing your voice? Even when you're upset, your voice is my favourite sound in the world," His voice was a mixture of pain and determination, his gaze locking onto hers with unwavering intensity.

“I love you, Eleanor Aubert. I love you more than I ever thought was possible,” he whispered, his breath warm against her lips. “And if loving you means I have to let you go, to keep you safe, then that’s what I’ll do. Because your safety, your happiness, mean more to me than anything else in this world.”

The weight of his words hung between them, heavy and real. Eleanor could see the truth in his eyes, feel the depth of his love in the way his voice faltered, barely holding it together. His confession wasn’t just words—it was a raw, vulnerable piece of his heart that he was laying at her feet.

“You don’t have to say it back,” he added softly, his voice almost breaking, “But I couldn’t leave without telling you.”

Her heart swelled, torn between the warmth of his love and the cold reality they faced. She wanted to imagine a future with him, but his words held a truth she couldn’t ignore: they couldn’t be together. It was safer if he left. Safer if they stayed apart.

Tears welled up, spilling over as her heart shattered into a thousand pieces. The ache of longing mixed with the bitter taste of reality, creating a storm of emotions that threatened to drown her. She wanted to hold him tight, beg him to stay, but she knew she couldn’t. She had to let him go—for his sake and hers.

“I don’t know if I love you, Billy. But I feel for you like I’ve never felt for any man,” she let out a shaky laugh, “In a world full of hicks, ruffians, and cowboys, you’re my gentleman.”

“A gentleman?” He chuckled softly, brushing his thumb along her jaw. His face was inches from hers, drawn closer by the gentle pull of her fingers at the nape of his neck. “Not sure I can agree with you on that one.”

“And I’m not exactly a lady, either,” she replied, her eyes drifting to his lips. She loved the way they curved, loved the way they felt against hers.

“I beg to differ,” he murmured, his gaze locked on hers. Her eyes glimmered in the soft light, the golden flecks catching the glow of the lantern. God, he loved her eyes. “Can I kiss you one last time?”

“Please do,”

Billy hesitated for just a heartbeat before leaning in, his lips meeting Eleanor’s in a soft, tentative kiss. The warmth of her skin, the softness of her breath mingling with his, made him exhale shakily against her mouth.

He pulled back, just enough to search her eyes, looking for any trace of doubt or discomfort. But all he found was the same warmth he felt, a softness that matched his own. Encouraged, he closed the distance between them again, his lips brushing against hers with a gentle, almost hesitant exploration.

Eleanor’s eyes fluttered shut as her hands rested lightly on his chest, feeling the heat of him radiate through his shirt. His touch was careful, his hands moving with a purpose that was somehow both deliberate and tender. The way he touched her, as if she were something precious, something he was afraid to break, sent a wave of emotions crashing over her.

With a quiet sigh, she pressed closer, deepening the kiss. Billy responded instantly, his hands cupping her face, his lips moving against hers with a new urgency. It was like a dance, a silent conversation between them, speaking in a language of desire and emotion that neither could fully put into words.

As the kiss grew more intense, so did the way they held each other. Billy’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her body tightly against his, the closeness sending a shiver down Eleanor’s spine. She responded in kind, her fingers threading through his hair as she lost herself in the moment, in the feeling of being wanted, of being loved.

Billy’s lips tasted of the crisp air after a rainstorm, with a faint hint of the alcohol he’d had earlier. His fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her closer as they kissed, every movement filled with a longing that had simmered between them for too long.

When he broke the kiss, his gaze locked onto hers, and she could see the hunger in his eyes, a hunger that mirrored her own. She gave him a small nod, tilting her head back slightly, an invitation for him to explore further. His lips traveled down her neck, sending another shiver through her as he moved with a blend of urgency and reverence.

Sweeping her off her feet, quite literally, Billy carried Eleanor towards the bed. A stumble over a pile of clothes was quickly dismissed as he was focused on one thing only - getting to the bed with her in his arms.

He gently placed her on the edge of the bed before removing his shirt, revealing a chest that rose and fell with anticipation. Kneeling in front of her, he was like a man on a mission, eager to please but unsure of himself.

Eleanor, sensing his uncertainty, reassured him with a tender touch, her hands cupping his cheeks as she told him it was okay not to know everything. With a soft smile, she invited him to lay down beside her, and he eagerly accepted, his muscles tensing slightly as he adjusted to the new position.

As they lay entwined in each other's arms, Billy's hands began to gently explore Eleanor's body. Clothes came off and were tossed carelessly across the floor. His fingers traced the curve of her waist, sending shivers through her. Eleanor closed her eyes, allowing herself to be carried away by the sweetness of their lovemaking, but also the looming sadness of his departure.

With a hesitant yet confident touch, Billy's hands moved to the delicate skin of Eleanor's inner thigh. Her eyes fluttered open, a mixture of desire and sadness filling her gaze. She nodded, reassuring him with a soft smile, knowing that they had to cherish this moment, even if it was fleeting.

Billy's fingers continued to trace the lines of her body, gently teasing the sensitive skin along her stomach and pinching her nipples. Eleanor felt a rush of anticipation, knowing that this was a moment she would treasure forever. Her breath hitched as his fingers delicately brushed against the sensitive skin between her legs, a soft moan escaping her lips.

Billy's confidence grew, allowing him to explore her with a gentleness that bordered on reverence. He traced the shape of her folds, careful not to rush, knowing that every touch was a precious part of this stolen moment.

Billy's eyes locked with Eleanor's, their emotions and desires mirrored in each other's gaze. He slowly removed his own pants, his erection standing at attention, a testament to the passion that now consumed them.

Eleanor's eyes locked onto his, the dark depths of his irises captivating her as he continued his exploration. Her breathing hitched with each gentle caress, her body responding to the tender touch. With a trembling hand, she reached out and guided him closer, the head of his erection sliding so deliciously through her.

As the intensity of their passion grew, so too did the sadness that hung over them like a shroud. They each knew that this was not just a fleeting moment, but an entire chapter of their lives that would be forever etched in their hearts.

Eleanor's soft moan seemed to jolt Billy back to reality, his eyes widening as he realized the effect his touch was having on her. He hesitated for a moment, but the desire in her gaze was undeniable. Nervously, he continued to explore, he knew she was trying so hard to keep quiet. They didn't want to alert anyone else in the house. This was their dirty little secret, their sanctuary in a wasteland. But fuck, he felt so damn good...

Eleanor gasped as his fingers wandered further, his touch gentle yet firm as he drew circles around her clit, pushing into her slowly. She arched her back slightly, her breath catching in her throat as a wave of pleasure washed over her. Billy watched her intently, his own desire building with every touch.

As he continued to caress her, Eleanor found herself lost in the sensation of his hands on her skin, feeling as if she was melting into him. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer, her nails raking down his back so hard he knew there would be marks in the morning.

As they moved together, Billy's touch became more assertive, his circles were tighter, faster, his thrusts sharp against that spot within her muscle. Her breath hitched at the simultaneous stimulation, her body responding to his every touch. The emotions were raw, the intimacy profound, and the connection between them had never felt so strong.

In that moment, time seemed to slow, and the world around them faded away.

The intensity of their passion seemed to consume them, their bodies writhing together as they moved in sync. Eleanor bit back her lustful cries, her body trembling as she reached the peak of her pleasure. Billy's eyes never left hers, his own expression a mix of awe and sheer desire.

As the wave of pleasure washed over Eleanor, she felt as if she was floating, weightless, her body was overtaken by a warm glow flooding down her spine and to the rest of her limbs. Billy watched her, his eyes filled with a mixture of wonder and desire. He wanted to capture this moment forever, to hold onto the memory of her face as she experienced something so intimate and raw.

With a final, throbbing thrust, Billy reached his peak. He surged forward, his body unable to resist the pull of Eleanor's. Their lips met in a passionate, desperate kiss, as their bodies merged into a single, quivering whole.

As the intensity of their climax reached its peak, Eleanor felt as if she was being lifted by some unseen force, soaring through the heavens and beyond. Billy, too, was lost in the ecstasy, his entire being consumed by the desire that had been building for so long.

In that moment, time seemed to stand still. Their hearts raced in unison, their breaths mingling in a single, continuous moan. The world around them faded away, replaced by the intensity of their passion.

As they lay there, still entwined, their bodies glistening with sweat, they knew that they had shared something truly special. A connection that could never be broken, a love that would last a lifetime, or perhaps even beyond.

But as the moment faded, reality began to intrude. The sadness that had been lurking in the corners of their minds returned, a harsh reminder of the inevitable parting that awaited them. They knew that this stolen moment of passion would only serve as a fleeting memory, a glimpse of the love that could have been.

Eleanor traced the lines of Billy's face with her fingers, committing every detail to memory. She knew that this would be the last time they would be together like this, it would be the last time for a long time...

Billy was gone the next day.

When Billy told Jesse he couldn't stay, it didn't take much for Jesse to put two and two together. His voice was edged with a hint of resentment as he asked, "Was she worth it?"

Billy hesitated, the weight of the question pressing down on him. He didn't want to put Eleanor in any more of an awkward position. Finally, he simply replied, "Take care of her. She's a good woman,"

Eleanor couldn't let Billy leave without some provisions, regardless of Jesse's feelings. She packed him some bread, nuts, and jam—just enough to get him by until he reached his next destination.

As Billy was about to leave, Eleanor wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight. Billy wanted to kiss her so badly, but he restrained himself, knowing it wasn't the right time.

"I'll see you again," he whispered in her ear, "Promise I'll come find you, one day,"

Eleanor wanted to believe him, but she knew better than to trust the promises of men on the frontier, "Good luck, Billy," she replied softly.

He mounted his horse and was off, traversing the plains with ease. Eleanor turned back towards the house, her heart sinking as she saw Jesse saunter out with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"Jesse—don't." It wasn’t so much a plea as it was a firm warning, like a parent cautioning their child against doing something reckless.

Jesse's nostrils flared angrily. He dropped the bottle on the porch chair and brought the shotgun up, taking aim. He could take Billy down with a single shot, and they both knew it.

"And why shouldn't I?" he spat venomously.

Tears brimmed in her eyes, but Eleanor simply shook her head and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "Because you love him," she replied softly. "As much as you want to deny it—I know."

He wouldn't have dragged Billy back from purgatory itself if he didn't care about him. After all, how many times had he regarded Billy as his own brother? And as angry and resentful as Jesse was, he knew Eleanor was right.

Without another word, Jesse dropped the shotgun, shaking Eleanor's hand away. He stormed back into the house, the door slamming hard behind him. Eleanor, meanwhile, sank onto the porch steps, her head falling into her hands as her tears began to stream down her cheeks.