#covid news isn’t at the front of the news anymore
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Ngl tho people legit do this… you spend most of your childhood wearing a seatbelt, then one day you just say, meh, nothing bad has ever happened, maybe I don’t always need to wear one.
The problem is, humans are just like this, they see nothing bad happening to them, so they get lax with safety, and one day, something might happen and they are gonna regret not wearing a seatbelt. When the next Covid wave comes, people are gonna regret not wearing a mask. But that’s just human nature… we don’t learn from history
everyone giving up on masks is so fucking stupid, like it’s like if everyone was like huh, we’ve been wearing seatbelts for a while now and it’s really decreased the amount of injuries people have had in car crashes. let’s all stop wearing them now cause we can’t live in fear forever! no more seatbelts unless you really want one! Oh, you’re still wearing a seatbelt? Didn’t you know you don’t have to use those anymore? why are you being so paranoid?
#not hating on anyone#just how people me#I’m also people#I don’t wear a seatbelt sometimes#and then I hear about a car crash and I think shit maybe I should wear one#covid news isn’t at the front of the news anymore#so I stopped wearing a mask#but then I hear stories about how it’s not actually over like the media tries to tell us#how people are still dying#and I realize I’m human too and I need to but safety first#even when I can’t directly see the danger in front of me
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When do you think she’ll pull the trigger on the divorce? Or they’ll pull a David and Wallis, miserable ever after.
I don’t know anymore. I used to think as soon as she had Archie, she’d bail for LA, taking the designer clothes and leaving divorce papers (as she did to Trevor).
Then I thought Harry wouldn’t be able to cope with being in the US (he seems to be doing fine, I guess).
Then I thought they wouldn’t be able to deal with the COVID lockdowns together and they’d be a COVID casualty. But then they bought a 14-bedroom mansion for 3.5 people so…
Other things have happened over the years that made me think “this is it, this is the trigger,” but they’re still sticking together.
As most recently as last summer (Summer 2023) they had started to split their public personas and brands which felt like a trial run of divorce PR in a “can we do this separately” sort of way but obviously something happened that made Meghan cancel her separate PR and they launched a “happy couple” PR campaign at Düsseldorf IG.
So every time I think “this is it,” they get through it and it’s not really fun anymore guessing “this is it.”
I do think this Nigeria trip is do or die. ARO/Roop isn’t going well - social media likes and follower counts have stagnated. Meghan isn’t getting big offers anymore. She can’t find a CEO for ARO and the gossip that she’s stealing concepts from Flamingo and Goop is getting louder by day. Invictus Games is also having trouble, with financial revelations that Düsseldorf and The Hague games were enormously over-budget. Then the royals didn’t show up for the anniversary service (which I feel was only planned so Harry could try to force their hand and support/see him). Now the gossip is getting louder that Invictus wants out because Harry (and Meghan) isn’t delivering on being their patron.
So it’s do or die time. Harry needs to step up and show he can actually help and work for Invictus. Meghan needs the humanitarian branding to correct some of the public perception about her greediness and luxury-focused ego that ARO revealed. They both need the diplomatic branding to remain relevant and competitive with William and Kate and to get new money/endorsements/content for their projects.
If they don’t succeed on each of these fronts, then they’re going to be pretty miserable when they go back home. Miserable enough to divorce? I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not. They don’t really seem to live together and as long as they can keep that from becoming public knowledge (for now it’s just speculation and gossip), they’ll probably stick it out together. Meghan because she knows being married to Harry keeps her name in the press more than it would if she wasn’t. Harry because he doesn’t want to admit to everyone back home that they were right and he was wrong.
And of course, let’s not forget that Meghan always needs a safety net before she leaves a relationship. She won’t leave Harry until she has someone better and more wealthier already committed.
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S5 Ep 42 Pt 1: It’s All In Your Head
Every week with long covid is like a new batch of symptoms. Last month’s symptom, among other things, was “words no work no good,” and so we just uh...didn’t do an update. I probably needed to chill and nap anyway. Not that I’m fully better yet, today I did laundry and pulled out a blue shirt that I clearly own and bought with my own money--but I have no memory of it. Zilch.
The brain is amazing, that with this brain fog, I can’t remember my blue t-shirt, but I can remember Yugioh. Weird, right? So anyway, thanks for your patience in this weird time of my life, glad to have a blog to write about anime in that is so chill with our very long breaks.
Also, I finally went through my old caps to toss old pictures so that way I can make new stuff, and guess what I just realized?
Kisara is not a dragon!
Seto’s girlfriend isn’t a dragon! She’s just on top of the dragon, I can’t...I just can’t believe this.
Truly a crime that this season, the final ultimate season of Yugioh, is what I’m doing while on Long Covid fruitloops, so I can miss every damn point that this show fires at me. But, at least, I hope it’s funny to read. It is like every single update where I realize I was wrong about the obvious, and don’t worry, it’s gonna happen again in like 4 seconds. My borked brain.
Anyway, Yugi and Co have walked all the way to the palace. Because we’re still on S4 time and space conventions where Death Valley, the Grand Canyon, and San Fransisco are all next to each other. Like Yami fell in the Nile in a fight that was just outside of the city--but I assumed he got pulled way out there. Either way, it’s a kid’s show, never think about geography.
(read more under the cut)
Yugi can conveniently walk through doors now, and after a quick shoutout to his homie Yami, they phase through.
Including Tristan who is...
Well,
APPARENTLY TRISTAN WAS POSSESSED.
Freakin, my brain is a bunch of salad dressing, lmaoooo even last episode I was like “wow Tristan is drawn kinda evil and I don’t really get why” and it was RIGHT THERE. He’s been possessed probably since Bakura grabbed him by the neck right in front of me. I somehow missed this!
And like, I figure, if I try and wait out long covid it may take a whole other year, so like this is just me now. I started this blog as like a competent analysis (ish), and now I get to the end of S5 giving you just an incoherent rorschach. It’s kind of fitting for this show really, everyone has to end up at least a little bit of a mess. Keeps you humble. Even me. I also have to become the mess.
Anyway, speaking of becoming a babbling incoherent mess, we go back to Bakura, who has fully lost his game in Battle Basement of a 7 vs 1 game.
Only in Yugioh would they make a 7 vs 1 game feel evenly sided.
And as I wonder if I’ve already made that joke four months back and have forgotten, they all watch Bakura do a mad dash to screw them over one last time.
And while they stood there and just allowed Bakura to fumble around with the doom rocks made of human souls, from no where, Aknadin stumbles through the door all day drunk like freakin Kramer.
And no, in the show he did not reveal here that he was Seto’s dad, but he does in like 2 minutes so I didn’t really care about where I put it. The big thing is that Aknadin’s gone full-tilt cray and not even he can fully explain his motive anymore.
That’s when they realize Aknadin’s babysitter, Shada, has been punk’d on the bottom of skull tablet basement. Which like, Imagine the day that Shada’s been having. I guess Aknadin just left him at the base of like 10000 human skulls then, hahaha.
I have checked my notes and I decided that 2000 people died in Kul Elna a few months back but eh I don’t feel like changing this cap. Overall, I have no freakin idea how many people lived in this freakin town and they can’t tell us because 4Kids would never allow it.
Which is when Bakura decided to teleport his bean into another bean because this bean is broke.
Which is when we met this guy, a guy we’ve only met for like 4 seconds of the show so far. Hello there, Original Bakura.
Straight up, he wasn’t on screen long enough for me to over-analyze his accent before he was a small mound of dust on the floor.
Ah the death count! Oh damn it, I write these notes on the caps sometimes, expecting I’ll put an actual number there later but lets be real, I just need to publish this episode, so let me open the Google doc...
7,805,847,572
Yeah that’s how many people have died in this kids show so far. We’re right on track. Thanks Bakura, for another death, but no you have not caught up with Dartz. Although I will hand it to him, Dartz didn’t end up killing himself nearly as many times as Bakura has.
Speaking of dying and being dead on a kid’s show, in enters Shada.
So lets go see what Yugi’s up to hm? The four have decided to separate in this Egyptian palace to each find Yami’s name. Mind you...there’s some flaws with this plan.
The flaw being that none of them have graduated high school or know freakin anything about Egypt, other than they hang out with an Ex patriot Egyptian. (2 ex-patriots if you count Yugi’s Grandfather. Although honestly, are you an ex-pat if you are reborn in a kid’s body on the other side of the world? You are, right? You are). But, whether or not Yami can or can’t read Egyptian in Canonical Yugioh, we know that Yugi apparently super can’t when Yami isn’t in his bean.
And Joey just can’t focus for the life of him, which, damn, relatable. But, he did find a room full of women.
He also went to the only room with like lots of water. Real pissed focused mind here, and no the piss plotline will not be resolved.
Tea, still GOAT.
This castle, man. I love the complete disregard for interiors that this animation team has. Like...what even is the purpose of this weird maze room with masssssive stone tiles, Yugioh? Like...what is this even supposed to be? Why are the tiles so SHINY?
Anyway, lets go back to Shada and hear his excuse for what the hell happened last episode.
Which is when Aknadin decided to just start cursing everyone, which he would have done earlier if he wasn’t constantly in a sick bed this season.
This very well might be a yugioh card effect that turns you into a rainbow filter, but it also looks like a complete mess of artistic directions on the screen.
Which like, after that cutesy filter, lets pull our eyes out.
Which is when Yami makes the biggest logical leap known to man.
That’s right! Yami has figured out that this entire time, this entire arc, he’s been sleeping at this RPG table that Bakura’s built in his mom’s basement Yami’s Puzzle Necklace.
In fact, when Yami wakes up to all of this, wearing his normal ass school clothes, and Bakura sitting across from him in his popped collar duster jacket, Bakura says something on the line of “bout time you woke up.”
the fic shippers must have had a FIELD DAY with one.
Anyway, everything is a lie, Bakura is controlling people like puzzle pieces, which not only explains why Aknadin’s motives went a 180, but can lead us to believe that Yami also COULD control everyone else, but just chooses not to. Just like he does in real life.
I think, overall, you just have to go with it. We’re playing D+D, except it’s about your embarrassing past. Like if you made D+D about your middle school experience and you can’t remember your first name.
What a way to die, really. What a weird ass way for Yami to almost die.
Anyway, here’s a link for those new here to read these from the beginning. I have the 2nd part already drafted up, should be up in a few days and not an entire month, haha. Hope your 2023 is looking up!
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
#yugioh#Yu-Gi-Oh#Yami Yugi#S5#ep 42#Bakura#Yugi Muto#Joey Wheeler#recap#photo recap#tea gardner#tristan taylor#seto kaiba
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In brighter news I had to go thrift some pants and where I live you can’t use the changing rooms at the thrift shops anymore because Covid (I hope) I didn’t get to try them on until I got home but they all fit! I only had to hem one pair and I am now a girl who owns 5 dress pants. I have an interview for a receptionist job and didn’t have any appropriate pants for IF 🤞🏻 I get the job and when I went to like kohls or whatever they didn’t have anything that looked remotely flattering.
Genuinely everything I tried on in the non secondhand shops was deeply unflattering on my body, I carry a lot of my fat on the front so they all made me look pregnant, which would be fine if I were Actually with child but I’m not and I don’t want people to be asking me about my non existent child when I can’t (morally) have a baby.
Anyway I went and set out some outfits and realized like 90% of them are green. Which… isn’t surprising tbh lmao.
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Review: Embracing solitude in the Holiday season, Magz new pop anthem ‘Alone For Christmas’ delivers catchy sound and empowering words
Independent singer, songwriter, and producer Magz reigns from within New York City, boasting an incredible 20,000 monthly Spotify listeners since her 2020 musical beginnings. Now entering the Holiday season with a bang, Magz shares the all-too-relatable ‘Alone For Christmas.’
Setting up the Christmas spirit early, ‘Alone For Christmas’ offers the perfect dreamy pop combination of twinkling magic and anthemic lyrics you’ll be singing along to any time of the year. Whimsical and bright right from the start, ‘Alone For Christmas’ dazzles in vibrant instrumental chimes and hazy undertones of drawn-out synth, painting the picture of winter’s snowy skies and captivating spirits from hanging lights to love-filled Christmas movies. This enchantment carries through into the opening verse as softly padding beats join into the gentle concoction of sounds, all the while Magz vocals soar through the agile vastness of the soundscape, airily cascading into higher tones with an undercurrent of melancholia seeping through. Deep piano keys add to this saddened feel, reverberating through the pre-chorus, seemingly also fading out of the initial chimes’ and their more ethereal qualities for a moment more paired-back and sentimentally confiding. The chorus merges both of these senses into one, finding a sense of solace in what others may deem to be a negative, clasping around what sounds like tambourine rattles, elegant drum beats, rich piano and Christmassy bells and chimes. Magz floaty words only further add to the comforting warmth of the sound, melting your freezing heart with her two and a half minute embrace. As things push forward, the instruments of ‘Alone For Christmas’ only continue to build in their strength and interlacing tones, along with a multitude of backing vocal layers that shimmer with a haunting encapsulation of the entire single’s resonance.
As many of us perhaps experienced due to COVID or just due to the world’s rise in loneliness, Magz pens a narrative of the holiday season spent alone inside of ‘Alone For Christmas’ for everyone everywhere to relate to. From the opening line’s change in perception, ‘some shiny things aren’t so shiny anymore’, it’s immediately established that Christmas doesn’t have quite the same glow as it once did in youth and over-sensationalised media. Continuing ‘this season doesn’t look the same as it did before’ , there’s an evident shift in opinion and appreciation for what this holiday truly means, no longer relying upon traditions and surrounding yourself with others to be happy. The chorus hook pushes this narrative front and centre, beaming ‘you’d think I’d be writing a wishlist, but all I really need is me’ , a declaration of self-love that we could all do with taking on as we learn to navigate life’s more solitude moments. As this evidently isn’t her first time spending this time by herself, Magz lines like ‘looks like it’s another year alone for Christmas’ look to find positives in what was likely once hard to bear, turning this event into a celebration of her own. Though so much of the track is doused in this uplifting sentiment, there are nods like ‘I’ll be playing blues instead of jingle bells’ that seemingly still carry some sadness for the loss of family and loved ones for Magz to surround herself with, burying a lot of these emotions as she navigates it with strength and her own gratitude for what the experience has to give her alone. There’s a definite sorrow between the lines but that is to be expected as the world promotes grand parties and get-togethers, with Magz instead focusing upon all the casual magic and beauty that can be found through cherishing such an occasion in the company of just yourself.
Check out ‘Alone For Christmas’ for yourself here to find some reassurance in spending the holiday season alone this year, or just to play it loud and have a jolly good time!
Written by: Tatiana Whybrow
Photo Credits: Unknown
// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.
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TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL
It will probably make sense someday --- sooner or later. The torment of just trying to deny how exactly I am feeling right now, I hope it will make me understand when the time is right.
There’s just a lot of things happened lately, you could certainly help me where to begin.
May 9, 2022
I would like to begin with the idea there is still hope even a part of me lost it. With just the amount of time, effort, commitment of people I met during the campaign period of our country’s election days was unexplainable. From ten group of people doing house to house, to hundreds of volunteers who would heartedly share their service, and to create and start something that is worth fighting for, it absolutely taught me to love selflessly. It was never easy. It was a very bold and brave step to even act upon it. I think this has gotten through me when Covid-19 pandemic happened, especially when my previous media company where I used to work was shut down primarily because of the ex-president, Duterte, along with some of his cabinet members. There were actually 11,000 employees who were laid off, feeling devastated and hopeless. And they just couldn’t do anything about it.
I remember one time, my former boss was calling me wanting to help the victims of the typhoon Ulysses, in which by the way affected our region, only was able to reach limited areas because there was no more network to report about it. This was one of the most frustrating things that you’ll ever get to realize that government and its authority has the power to control your life. With the kind of people who gets to lead us like this, even if you want to succeed at its best and ideal situation, I think it’s only possible when “good luck” allows you to be.
Maybe it wasn’t an accident after all – to be given a huge opportunity to lead a community that hopes for a brighter future. I was blessed enough to spend time with students who even make absences for their classes, just to go around rural areas to let VP Leni be known.
I’ve been with mothers, who would either prepare snacks for younger volunteers or produce personalized items, front liners who would set up tarpaulins in front of their houses – basically to support the “Leni-Kiko” tandem. I think my most favorite part was to actually sail a boat to get to another town to talk to the people. It had me the fire to keep going – to let people somehow listen.
One of the most exciting experiences I had was also to organize people’s rally, the sleepless nights of going around towns to deliver what was needed for the production. The courage of just standing up in front of more or less 10,000 people, hosting and leading the people with so much passion and grace, this is what you call bravery. It was one of the best and greatest production moments I’ve had in my life – considering I work in an events industry.
And then VP Leni entered the stage – it was emotional. The brave north once stood up for what is right and moral. It wasn’t even about the numbers anymore, the fact that people from the North came and listened on what Leni – Kiko has to offer, this only explains that people could actually be collective. That love could be received from and to the people.
One of the humbling learnings from this experience I will forever cherish is acceptance. The moment we watched the news and knew the results, our hearts were literally broken. It was even more painful than breaking up with a partner. I honestly didn’t want to believe at first but I was just in denial. You know that’s part of the grieving process – in denial.
Maybe there are things that are just out of our control. There are things that we could only give ourselves so much, but it’s always worth the risk. My dad once said to me, “How will you know if you never try?”
He’s right. We can always hope for the best things to happen and that is still unseen yet. Maybe this isn’t our time yet. As long as there is at least one willing to stand and fight for good, we will try until we get there.
#leni kiko 2022#CAMPAIGN2022#kulayrosasangbukas#lenirobredo#kakampink#elections2022#peoplerally#bravenorth#isabelaforlenikiko
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So Dj and I had a talk last night. He says he’s about done because I’m spiteful, nasty, rude, crude. I guess what happens when you get two people who don’t want to get their hearts broken together? One stops talking altogheter, and the other, who is naturally sarcastic, gets labeled nasty.
I shouldn’t have had them here. I should have worked out my problems with them separately. This has magnified things. It’s terrifying me and making me feel like a caged animal. All rob can say is “I understand, but can we fous on having a good experiene todaoy?’ I appreciate the empathing, but we actually never get back to it. it’s hitting a neverending pause that builds up.
So last night. Here’s what bothers me. Please understand these are my perceptions, but as such, they are valid.
A true lack of communication. And here’s what I mean by that. While the groupchat has gotten so very much better, when things aren’t going well with one of us, they just don’t get brought up. It didn’t go withhout notice that Stephanie was crying the other night. Or that Rob didn’t want to bring it up. Didn’t Amy ask us to bring things up as they presented themselves? Often, people will say they don’t know how I will respond. Nine times out of ten if communication is just upfront and honest, this isn’t a problem. When it all comes at once, it’s like a firehose. It’s at those times that I feel attacked, and yes, I probably respond as if I am.
I don’t like things to be left to the last minute. It makes me rush and that’s really hard for me. I absolutely hate being late. it causes me a huge amount of stress and doesn’t let me enjoy what’s happening.
Plans this week. I’ve literally been offering suggestions. None of them were that imporant to me. Death valley was a thought to get us away from the cool and the rain. That’s it. I was NOT that committed to spending a day trip in the car that required snacks and provisions. But one of the things that came up during therapy was that I by and large made the decisions. I remember Amy at one point saying “so what if you didn’t?” So I haven’t. It’s not been a trap.
I know it seems silly to everyone else, but it’s important to me. Not only do I dislike the same old same old, but I crave the opposite. it’s who I am. It’s hard to describe for people who aren’t like that, but it’s an essential part of me. I feel like that’s being unheard, lost, or not considered. Please know that I know it’s not intentional. But that is why when someone says I’m not easy to please, or someone says that I’m the one that always has issues, perhaps those are the wrong questions. Maybe the question need to be is there a reason Ann doesn’t fit with this anymore?
Dj said last night that he felt that since I left the school I had a vacuous hole that I have been trying to fill. So I want to explain a few things about that. While the school dictated my timeline, I left when I was ready. I don’t feel remorse, I don’t feel like I need to go back, and I have no ill feelings at all. I was ready for that chapter to be done. Yoga was great for when it was happening. Covid closed it. I could tell it was getting hard on my body, so it’s not necessarily a bad thing. That’s led to me doing coaching and speaking. It’s new and will take time to build, like any business. But I’ve already had big successes like publishing a book and speaking in front of hundreds of people.
As for stuff from my past coming up, my rape came up because the circumstances at that wine night were identical, minus the pool table, to the night that I was raped. That night, I saw Dj, and immediately grabbed him. He was my safe place to get me out even though he didn’t know what was happening. Since then, we identified that my uncle assaulted me and likely one of my cousins. I’ve learned what my triggers are for those. I feel like I’ve shared them, but in case I haven’t, or they are unclear, here’s what they are.
Kenny. Kenny being on top of me and refusing to get off of me on the float trip. it’s what kicked this series of events into gear.
People smelling of beer. The people who raped me smelled of beer. Also my dad would get drunk on beer and become unpredictable. I learned to avoid it.
Feeling trapped or like I have no choice. It takes me back to when I was little and I had absolutely no choice and often was physically trapped with a blanket.
Not being heard or listened to. This one mostly just makes me insanely sad. It’s a bit of my go to, because I’m very used to it for most of my life. I was told that for all of my abuse so I stopped talking about it.
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Your overall reflections on the internship and your studies.
This internship has been everything I expected and so much more. From the minute I walked through the doors of the office for my interview to my last day as an intern with Max Events, I have been welcomed with open arms by everyone. There is not a single person within the Max Events Team who wouldn’t put aside time to have a chat with me or teach me something new. There wasn’t a single time where I felt like I was an “intern” the experience I was provided, the “ROI & conversion to Full Time) Zhang, (2021) was in the front of the Max Events minds during the internship. I was treated the exact same as everyone else and that made the transition much easier. Considering I got this opportunity through networks and my resume being sent out they didn’t owe me anything but instead they’ve given every chance for me to succeed. Although you could say Mitch and Erin were my main to supervisors. If it wasn’t for people like Courtney or Tyson who said “Dan, we are going to stand behind you in case, but this is your opportunity.” It would’ve taken me longer to take that initial leap. Or if it wasn’t for Marissa and Olivia, I wouldn’t have been able to run a Match Day production for Collingwood Football Club which is my Childhood team and the opportunity to do so in such a wholesome and welcoming environment of the AFLW was something I’ll never forget.
If you were to sit my down at the start of my final year of this degree and said ‘Dan, you will rub shoulders with the Australian Boomers, Manchester United, Collingwood, Melbourne Storm, Melbourne United and many more, my reaction would be worth recording as here I sit now and I still can’t really believe it all.
The other half of this entry is a reflection on my studies, the past 3 years haven’t been a walk in the park but have been a true character-building experience. Having finished school and my diploma with extremely good results it was a harsh but fair kick to the teeth when I failed my first-ever assignment for this degree. It was what I needed to realise this isn’t school anymore and I’m going to have to work for what I want. Covid and lockdowns came very early on in my degree and completely changed the landscape of it all. It sometimes made it easier to manage my time and get my assignments done but it also made things difficult when it came to learning and listening. But here I am passing all my subjects bar this one knowing well I will be graduating in just a few months. It's hard to believe it, the student who had failed their first assignment to getting 20/20 on their final evaluation. The growth I’ve had in the past 3 years, the connections I’ve made, the opportunities I’ve captured. I couldn’t have asked it to have gone any other way.
Carson, L., & Fisher, K. (2006). Raising the Bar on Criticality: Students’ Critical Reflection in an Internship Program. Journal of Management Education, 30(5), 700–723. https://doi.org/10.1177/1052562905284962
Zhang, E. (2021) Key Metrics to Optimize & Scale Your Internship Program: Exceptional Experience
.https://symba.io/blog/internship-program-management/key-metrics-to-optimize-scale-your-internship-program-overall-intern-satisfaction/
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Over The Odds | Regrets
Paring - jungkook x reader
Genre - angst, smut, fluff, S2L, ceo!jungkook, sugardaddy!jungkook
Word count - 3k
Drabble 4 - One mans regret is another’s opportunity
warnings: brief mention of sex, swearing, ill-relative
FULL SERIES COLLECTION
This certainly isn’t how you envisioned your day would turn out, just this morning you were laid in bed with Jungkook about to enjoy a sweet breakfast in bed together after two rounds of rampant sex – and now, you sit in the waiting room of the hospital, drinking water from a plastic cup with shaky hands.
It was nice of Jungkook to give you a ride here, giving that he’s told you at least three times now just how much he hates driving, he hates the traffic, how mundane it is, the fact he can’t really multitask when behind the wheel; he hates everything about it. But still, he pulled through for you when you needed him to.
It's no secret that your father is in ill health, last year he suffered two heart attacks and when he tested positive for Covid-19 in December your family prepared for the worst. By some miracle he pulled through but his respiratory system hasn’t been the same since. Two bouts of pneumonia, a severe chest infection and nightly use of an oxygen mask is his new normal.
Your mum texted to let you know that he’s been admitted with yet another ghastly chest infection, apparently he’s not doing so great and so you came here as soon as you could, alerting your best friend Jimin of your whereabouts on the way. Unlike the other times he’d taken ill during the height of pandemic restrictions, you weren’t sitting in the waiting room alone. Your mother sits across from you with anxious bouncing legs, and Jungkook, bless his soul, sits beside you playing the role of a concerned boyfriend a little too well.
“I’m sorry you had to find out about us this way, I can leave if you’d prefer to be alone together.” His voice is kind and low as he addresses your mother, who looks at him with a warm smile. “Honestly I won’t be offended.”
“Nonsense, I’m just surprised Y/N didn’t tell us about you sooner. I’m sorry that we met this way though, maybe when her father recovers we can all go for a nice meal together and get to know each other properly. I don’t usually look like this.” She gives a breathy chuckle, referring to her jade green leggings and oversized hoodie – her favourite loungewear set you’d gifted her two Christmases ago. Of course the ensemble isn’t complete without her yellow garden sliders, which she’s also wearing today. Normally she’s what most people would consider to be vain, always dressing in nice clothes with a full face of makeup even in her forties, she must’ve been in a rush to get here much like you and Jungkook were.
“Me neither.” Jungkook flashes a brilliant white smile. To be honest you’ve never seen him look so casual, only wearing a white oversized t shirt, grey sweatpants and trainers. He looks good dressed like this, he blends into the rest of society comfortably and his presence for once doesn’t scream ‘I have money, ask me about it’. “It would be nice to go out together though, once he’s fully recovered of course. I can’t wait to hear all about what Y/N was like as a child.”
“Y/N?” Your mum waves a soft hand in front of you, snapping you from your day dream. “He’s going to be okay, this is just a precaution.”
“I know.” You exhale, nodding slowly, trying to ignore your burning hatred for hospitals.
“Does anybody want anything to eat? I’m going to run down to the corner shop.” Jungkook stands, shooting you a sympathetic smile, “You haven’t eaten today Y/N is there anything specific you want me to get for you?”
“Oh how thoughtful.” Your mother gushes, you know full-well that she loves him already. What a pity he’s not actually your boyfriend, rather the man who pays you to have sex with him. Oh she’d be so proud.
You clear your throat and shake your head, “I’m not really hungry anymore.” You admit, “I’ll have a coffee from the canteen though. The blonde—”
“Blonde coffee blend with almond milk and one sweetener. I know. Would you like a coffee too? Or anything to eat? Sorry I didn’t even catch your name how rude of me.” You’re visibly taken aback by the fact he knows your coffee order, as far as you know you’d only been for a coffee together once. Even his memory is unworldly.
“Anna.” She smiles, eyes quickly skimming the tattoos on his sizeable arm, “And I’ll have a black coffee with a cheese sandwich please, hang on I’ve got some change in my… Oh where is it, it’s around here somewhere-”
“Not necessary. I don’t mind.” Jungkook tries to fight a laugh, giving you a brief glance before exiting the room.
“So…”
And it begins.
“So?” Your brows are raised expectantly as you lock eyes with your mother, who given the circumstances looks pretty damn happy right now. Maybe she’s giggling at your t shirt dress and boots which were very obviously yesterdays clothes.
“When were you going to tell me about your hunk of a boyfriend?! Gosh if I was fifteen years younger.”
You grimace, “Except you’re not, and your husband is in the hospital.”
“Small technicalities.” She shrugs. Your mother birthed you at the tender age of eighteen, she and your father had a somewhat whirlwind teenage romance, they had their first child together, your sister, two years before you aged sixteen, much to your grandparents disappointment. Thankfully it all worked out for them in the end. It wasn’t uncommon of her to make shocking or crude comments like this, you put it down to her age most of the time, giving that she’s not even two decades older than you are. But even so, the idea of her taking a liking to Jungkook is more than nauseating.
“I’m serious! How long have you been together?” She’s smiling, profile curious and suggestive.
“I don’t know like six or seven weeks maybe? Month and a half. It’s early days so can you try not to get your hopes up please.” You’re tired, your body is aching because of said fake boyfriend, and you’re so done with this conversation already – all you care about is getting an update from the doctors. This talk right here is the very reason you almost didn’t sign the contract in the first place, because you know eventually you and Jungkook will have to fake a breakup and your parents will be devastated that you’re still not engaged or popping out grandbabies.
“You haven’t had a boyfriend since Namjoon Y/N, and that was two years ago now… So I’m sorry if I’m a little excited it’s just that he’s so handsome! And muscly! And tall! I love his tattoos! What does he do for a living?”
You ignore the way the mere mention of your ex boyfriend’s name makes your stomach drop, giving in to her curiosity, “He’s the CEO of Jeon Industries, the oil company. He owns a lot of smaller businesses too, like that bar Black Swan in Kensington.”
“Shut up!” She gasps, “Sorry, what was that?”
“Mum I’m tired can we not get into this right now, yes he’s handsome and he’s tall and he’s ripped and yes he’s got tattoos and he’s mega rich but we’ve only been going out just over a month so can you not do this? Not right now. Please.”
Sensing your discomfort she retreats, nodding quietly, “Sorry,” She grins, “Were you two up all night then?”
“Oh my god.” You groan in disgust, hurriedly standing from the lilac seat, “I’m going to find Jungkook, when we get back try to act normal. I’m begging you.”
“Fine, fine. Whatever you say.”
If there’s one thing you hate most in this world, one phobia stronger than all the rest – it’s hospitals. The idea of someone going in and never coming out has always made your knees buckle and not in a good way. You hate hospitals, any clinical setting for that matter, you’d rather ride out an illness than visit your doctor despite how badly you are. It’s disturbing to you how many people have died within these walls, how many lost loved ones were taken here. Your parents and Jimin always called you dramatic whenever you brought it up, but you can’t help the way you feel. Maybe it’s a good thing that you and Namjoon never worked out, because eventually one day his place of work would be a building just like this one.
For the six months that you dated, you were convinced that Namjoon was the love of your life, he was perfect. He was in his final year of med school, he had adorable dimpled cheeks, a contagious laugh, he knew everything about anything without needing to check himself on Google first. And he was sweet, he was caring, you bared your soul to him thinking he was your forever, only for him to randomly decide to take a gap year and teach English to children in Korea. You still remember the day he ended things with you, leaving you behind as he just carried on with his life, seemingly not bothered at all. One mention of his name and you feel numb, you’ve never cared about anybody that much since him.
The only person that comes even remotely close to Namjoon is Jungkook, and well, he doesn’t actually like you he just pays to have you around and sit on his dick whenever you fancy it. There’s no denying that he would be the perfect partner, he could give you things that even Namjoon could not – but he doesn’t want that, you signed a piece of paper that clearly states this is a business arrangement and nothing more. It’s not love, and it never will be, no matter how badly you want it to be. You scoff to yourself, pushing a double door open to find him. How things have changed in the small space of two years.
Your eyes find Jungkook’s tall muscular frame straight away, he’s sitting at a small circular table at the back of the red painted canteen, three coffees and one cheese sandwich in front of him, his gaze flickering between the window and the silver work phone in his hands.
“Hey.” You’re standing beside the table, suddenly feeling a lot calmer in his presence.
He’s looking up at you with big round doe-like eyes, almost guilty, “I’m sorry, I thought you could use some privacy so I—”
“Don’t apologise, I get it. I’m not actually your girlfriend yet here you are meeting my parents, must be rough for you. You can go at any time it’s okay.” The words come out bitchier than you intended, regret washes over you instantaneously. Thankfully he doesn’t seem too phased by your venom.
He pauses, his lips pursed together in a flat line before he stands up, “Y/N… I want to be here, it’s okay, I wanna make sure you’re okay.” His voice his softer than usual and for a split second you’re convinced that he may actually really care.
“This happens pretty often,” You sigh, it’s blatantly obvious you’re feeling overwhelmed, “He’s been ill for a while now… Just waiting for the update from the doctor and then we can leave.” You give him an apologetic smile, there’s nothing about family emergencies in the agreement and yet he’s still here, spending his only day off in the hospital with you. “If he’s gonna be okay we should do something today, I don’t want you wasting your only day off.”
“It’s not wasted if I’m spending time with you.” He looks away immediately after saying it, clearing his throat before he grabs the items from the table, “Would be nice to go somewhere else later though, hospitals freak me out.”
“Really? Me too.” You murmur, helping him carry the food and drinks to the waiting area. The walk back is short and spent in a comfortable silence, god how you wish things could be different, you yearn for Jungkook to set fire to that stupid piece of paper and just ask you out. What’s worse is you actually signed that piece of paper, there’s no way out for you for another eleven months, if you feel this much for him already you dread what life will be like by then.
It’s when you get to the small side room your mother waits in that your heart stops beating.
“—He’s going to be fine, we’ll keep him in for some observations with him being a high risk patient but I’m confident he’ll be home tomorrow Anna.”
Suddenly your ears are ringing, your face is hot and you almost forget how to breathe. Jungkook senses the change in your demeanour and is rightfully confused, especially when you’ve both just heard the doctor tell your mum that your dad is going to be okay. You clear your throat, and for the first time in two years your eyes lock with his. Fuck.
“Hey Y/N.” Namjoon’s dimples pierce his cheeks as his smiles, “Your dad’s gonna be fine, he’s responding well to the treatments he should be out of here by tomorrow.”
“That’s great.” You smile back, still frozen in place, “Thank you... So you’re back. And you’re officially a doctor now?”
“Have been for a while actually, can’t say I expected to bump into you here… I know how much you hate hospitals.”
As much as you don’t want to admit it he looks good, his skin is ever so slightly more tanned than it used to be, his clothes fit him better and he looks so much happier than he used to. It’s no surprise he didn’t tell you he was back from Korea, you took the breakup pretty badly and he’s probably moved on by now. You watch him with a curious gaze, you can’t help but think to yourself it’s such a shame things ended the way they did, because two years ago you really did love this man.
“Yeah, well…” You clear your throat again, your mouth suddenly feels abnormally dry, “I couldn’t not come.”
“Thanks Namjoon, it’s nice to see you again.” Your mum stands from her chair, “Y/N do you mind if I go in and see him? They’ve still got Covid restrictions in place, only one visitor at a time.”
“Of course not, tell him I was here though.” You exhale, finally peeling your stare away from Namjoon and looking to Jungkook who stands beside you, handing your mum her coffee and sandwich.
“Thank you so much Jungkook, so kind of you to come today and wait with us.” She looks at your fake boyfriend with such a warm and welcoming gaze, “We definitely need to arrange a proper meeting, I’m sure Y/N’s dad will be excited to meet her new boyfriend when the times right.”
You freeze. Namjoon freezes. Jungkook sees you and Namjoon freeze.
“There’s no rush, I don’t plan on letting her go any time soon. It was nice to meet you, and I hope he’s feeling better soon.” Jungkook is polite as ever, even when the resident doctor is not-so-subtly staring at him.
“Bye mum, call me later please.” You give her a small hug, wanting nothing more than to get out of this hell hole as quick as you can.
“Of course, bye now.” She gives a small wave and disappears into the main corridor on the ward with Namjoon. Thank god that’s over.
Jungkook faces you, holding a coffee in his right hand while he smooths over your waist with his left, “Are you okay? We don’t have to go anywhere today, we could just have a bed day or whatever else you wanna do, or I can drop you off at your place if you wanna be alone.”
“A bed day with you sounds good.” You give a weak smile, even though your entire relationship is a façade you can’t fault him for his efforts today. He’s looking down at you with such kind eyes that you almost want to cry. He’s perfect, but he’s not yours.
“-Y/N?” You hear the voice before you see it’s owner, already wanting to curl up into a ball and die when your eyes land on Namjoon jogging round the corner, his white lab-like coat flapping with each movement.
“Mhm?” You face him, Jungkook’s hand still grazes your waist. The situation is uncomfortable but thankfully he doesn’t say anything, instead choosing to eye the doctor cautiously as he approaches.
“I’m really glad you met someone, you look happy.” There’s not even a microscopic spec of malice in Namjoon’s words, his smile looks genuine and he looks as though he really means what he says, which only makes everything worse. “I’ll see you around, and Jungkook was it? Nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, you too.” Jungkook doesn’t look confused anymore, he’s analysed the atmosphere and you can tell by his tight set jaw and the way he’s tightening the hold on your waist that he knows exactly who Namjoon is to you.
Unbeknownst to you Jungkook sees the flicker of disappointment behind Namjoon’s eyes when they finds his hand on your waist, he knows that look, that’s the expression of someone who regrets letting go. He pities Namjoon for sure, but realistically all he can ask himself is how could someone be so foolish to leave you in the first place? You’re smart, funny, caring, a little sarcastic and bratty at times but nothing he can’t handle, you’re beautiful, anyone would be an idiot to let you go.
And so this is the moment, standing with you right here in the hospital with a comforting palm on the bend of your waist, where Jungkook decides he needs to tell you the truth before it’s too late, no regrets.
x
#jungkook ff#jungkook x reader#jungkook x yn#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook series#jungkook oneshot#jungkook imagines#jungkook reaction#jungkook scenario#ceo!jungkook#ceo jungkook#sugardaddy!jungkook#sugar daddy jungkook#jeongguk x reader#jungkook x reader angst#jungkook x reader smut#bts imagine#bts x reader#namjoon x reader#jimin x reader#bts series#jungkook fic#reader x jungkook
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Originally posted on Wattpad
Untitled - because I can’t think of one 😕
August 30th 2020
Standing with hands on hips and head held high high you refused to sink to your knees in despair. Every inch of you ached, your muscles clenching in fatigue but you would not go down, around you some of your team mates were on the floor, defeated, heads hung low, some wiping away tears from their red cheeks.
Confetti was strewn across the pitch at your feet. You hadn’t just wanted to win the Champions League for the obvious reasons, you’d wanted to win it to prove to your ex-girlfriend that you didn’t care, that she hadn’t shattered your heart and your life, to show that for something, you were good enough.
You saw her, Dzenifer Marozsán, lifting her team mate into the air in celebration, the same team mate you had walked in on with her head thrown back in pleasure and your girlfriends head between her legs.
Sarah fucking Bouhaddi.
Forcing yourself to look away you stared up at the scoreboard, the bright lights mocking you.
You didn’t need to put on a brave face and go round greeting the fans, there were no fans.
You wished your Dad was here, complaining of the ‘Sub Lime’ green home shirt he would wear with y/n on the back but covid restrictions meant he wasn’t there, the stadium was empty.
“How are you?” A voice broke your thoughts.
Dzenifer stood in front of you.
You had barely registered her presence when she was aggressively shoved to the side.
“You don’t get to know that anymore Marozsán.” Your team mate and friend, Pernille took her place beside beside you.
Dzenifer rolled her eyes.
“Whatever I tried.” She said, walking back to her team mates who were still celebrating across the field.
Pernille placed a hand on your shoulder.
“Look y/n I know it is shit we didn’t win and I know this hurts but given everything going on in the world right now, well I figure losing isn’t so bad.”
You nodded through the tears that threatened to spill. Marching away from your team mates and in to the tunnel you quickly arrived at the changing rooms. You slammed the door open wide and kicked a stray boot across the floor in frustration. Rifling through your bag you pulled your phone out, ignoring the messages sitting in your inbox you dialled your agents number, without giving them a chance to even greet you, you said the two words that you knew would change your life.
“I’m in.”
………..
The taxi dropped you off at the training ground.
You had signed the contract with your new team only 48 hours after the loss against Lyon giving you just over a week to pack your things and say goodbye. Wolfsburg had not been happy with you, expecting you to resign with them, even more so after it was announced Pernille Harder was also leaving. She was a good friend, she had understood the need to leave, she didn’t tell you that you had made a rash decision like a lot of your team mates had.
You snapped out of your thoughts by a young man hurriedly approaching you looking slightly flustered.
“Y/n y/ln I am Jonatan, assistant coach, welcome to Barcelona.” He smiled shaking your hand.
You hoisted your sports bag onto your shoulder.
“I’m glad to be here.” You responded truthfully, Jonatan gestured for you to walk together towards the entrance of the training facility.
“I’m a big fan y/n, that final was a close game, you played very well I hope you can bring some of that passion and dedication to Barca. Maybe you can lift that Champions League trophy with us.”
You were taken aback at the positivity. Having grown accustomed to the negativity you had endured over the last few months at Wolfsburg you couldn’t help but allow yourself some hope for the future.
Jonatan led you through the facility and into a small conference room where he handed you your first Barca shirt. The team photographer appeared, introducing themselves before taking a shot of you holding your shirt up before another man bustled into the room followed by a woman from the coaching staff.
“Y/n this is Lluis Cortez team manager.”
Cortez stepped forward shaking your hand.
“Y/ln in a Barca shirt, some things are just meant to be.”
More photos, this time of you and Cortez as you pretended to sign your contract again.
“Right, change and I will see you on the field.” Cortez said, leaving the room taking Jonatan with him.
The woman Cortez had arrived with guided you to the changing rooms.
“Y/n!” A voice cried out, you saw a flash of garnet out of the corner of your eye, swiftly turning you managed to catch the girl jumping on you.
“Lieke.” You hugged your international team mate, as she wrapped her legs around your waist.
“Finally a fellow Dutchie, I am so glad you’re here.” She exclaimed, you could feel the happiness radiating off your friend.
“Ladies this is y/n y/ln.” Lieke shouted across the changing rooms.
You were greeted with hugs, high fives and kisses on both cheeks. You knew you were blushing at all the attention.
…….
Two weeks into pre season and you could safely say you were getting along with most of the team. You’d say mostly because there was one nut you had yet to crack.
The elusive Alexia Putellas.
Whenever you would speak to the woman she would give one word answers in a voice so soft you’d think you imagined the response. She would twirl her hair in a nervous habit so much you had day dreamed of yanking her hair and….
Nope!
No!
You had sworn off getting involved with a fellow footballer ever again.
Feeling a thump to the back of your head you turned just in time to catch Hermoso grinning widely and Alexia herself, looking apologetic.
“So sorry y/n Alexia just seems to have no control whenever you are around.” Jenni called out running over to retrieve the ball that had just hit you on the head.
“No worries Jenni.” You responded, raising a hand to rub at the sore part of your skull.
“We are having dinner at mine later, just a few of us, will you come?” The taller woman asked tucking the ball under her arm.
“Sounds good to me what time?” You replied happily as Alexia approached you both.
“Seven is perfect.” Jenni answered.
“Perfect?” Alexia mumbled in question to her friend.
“I’ll text you the address.” Jenni smiled, she turned dragging Alexia with her.
“Sorry about the headache.” She called out behind her.
#woso imagine#espwnt#woso x reader#imagine#alexiaimagine#woso#la reina#laroja#womens soccer#womens football#barcelona femeni#alexiaputellas#jenni hermoso
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Under Your Skin (JJK x Reader) | 🔞
Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Goth/Punk!Jeon Jungkook x Secretary!Shy!Reader
Genre: Tattoo artist!AU, Badboy x Sweetgirl AU, Idk what else
Tags/Warnings: Ultimate goodboy Kook, He looks grr but is actually sweet, shy reader, smol reader, Kookers is WHIPPED, Also a tease, Dom!Jungkook because how could I not, Sub!Reader, Babygirl!Reader, Its not heavy on the whole ddlg-stuff but yeah they be having some vibes y'know, don't come @ me don't I'm not forcing you to read it lol, anyways moving on, because smut, yes I mean it's my content, and yall nasty admit it, slight hair pulling, manhandling also only a little, oral (f & m receiving), praising, mentions of emotional and physical insecurities, but Kook be supportive so we good, back to the nasty, body worship yes pls, biting, fingering, because why not, protected sex because we keep it clean in this household, light-hearted sex, kook being a romantic goof, yeah I think thats it?
Summary: Jungkook looks like absolute trouble; like one wrong look could set him off, and turn him into an absolute murderer. But oh well, ever heard the phrase 'Never judge a book by its cover'?
A/N: you might have noticed me only putting one emoji up top. I have decided to from now on only mark my adult fics with emojis (which is basically almost every single one lets be real). Also; stop reading my fucking fics if any of the tagged/warned things make you uncomfortable. I'm tired of everyone clowning in my inbox telling me how disgusting ddlg/smut content is. You can't even tell me you 'read it by accident' because that's why I'm always putting the cut underneath my fics =) so pls go finish preschool and then we can maybe shake hands. Maybe not. Covid and all. Yeah.
On the outside, Jeon Jungkook seems like absolute trouble.
He's working at a tattoo and piercing studio, dresses in all black, clattering chains and heavy boots always alerting everyone around of his presence. His long black hair is never truly tamed, his nails painted black, and his face expressionless most of the time. He's a talented artist and well trained piercer, always visiting conventions to keep up with the newest trends, styles, and equipment there is. He takes his job seriously- and is proud of it, knowing that he had proven his family wrong by now. They had been worried about him; especially his mother had scolded him that he shouldn't throw his time away trying to make it in a world of art many had already failed. But last year, he had finally invited them over to his rather nice apartment, showing them that he was living a good life, with nothing to really worry about.
Jungkook had made it.
Well, not quite.
Because as of currently, Jungkook had a new mission, a new goal.
"Ah, Jungkook!" You say, eyes sparkling as you smile at him when he enters the shop he works at. You had recently started to work there as well, since Taehyung was absolute shit at keeping files in order and track of schedules. You hadn't applied for the job specifically, that's at least what his coworker had told him- he had known you prior already, and was aware that you had wanted a change these days.
And Jungkook had been painfully crushing on you ever since you started.
"Your schedule for the week is already here- I uhm.. didn't put it on your desk cause, I didn't want to intrude your space and all.." You say, giving him a small black booklet where you always noted down his appointments. He appreciated it a lot- knowing how much of a hassle it could be to move dates back and forth just to somehow make it fit. You always made sure that he had enough time in between multiple daily pieces in case something took longer or less so you could make sure to be able to move things accordingly. You didn't want him to get overworked, you had said. He had smiled.
"Thanks- and you can go inside, no problem." He says, and you nod. "I know you don't make a mess, like someone else here." He says, hinting at Namjoon, who was known to be quite clumsy- yet a mastermind when it came to designing pieces he struggled with. Jungkook stayed at your front desk for a bit, making you tilt your head a bit, as you tried not to stare. He always took so much care of himself, you would have had to be blind not to see how attractive he actually was. But then again, you didn't get your hopes up- after all, he was nice to almost everyone around. "You've never been in there, right?" He asks, and you shake your head. You haven't been in his space at all- too scared to invade his privacy and making him upset in the process. "I mean- you got time right now? I can show you around." He casually tells you, and you look at your computer screen in front of you. Everything had been filed for today- so you probably had a bit of time to spare.
"Sure." You said, taking your phone and standing up from your chair, making sure to lock the pc so no one would accidentally make a mess out of your tabs. Or worse; close them. God knows all hell would break loose.
Jungkook had to really force himself not to let out any noise as you walked next to him.
You were so tiny next to him.
He wasn't that tall to be honest- with Namjoon and Taehyung both taller than him, he knew he was average at best. And for the longest time, he'd had a thing for tall girls, all elegant and confident. He still liked their aesthetic, yes- but now that he spotted you, he could really see the appeal of having a shorter significant other.
You were so cute.
You carefully stepped inside when Jungkook lifted the curtain that was used instead of a door, surprised to see how.. organized everything was. A little.. off- some things seemed to be randomly put somewhere, but in general, it seemed like everything had their proper spot. "I like to have it like this." He comments, and you nod your head to that, finally spotting his tattoo-gun. It was made out of purple steel- polished, and changing its hue depending on how you looked at it. It was absolutely beautiful, even though you had a rather limited understanding of these things. "Was a present from Taehyung last year." Jungkook says, sitting down on his chair. "I never asked- are you inked at all?" He asks, leaning backwards as you stand there a little awkwardly. "You can sit down somewhere, don't be so tense." He chuckles, and you look around, before you sit on the stretcher across from him. You shake your head, and Jungkook isn't surprised. Your pink converse sway back and forth as you sit on the stretcher, legs too short to reach the floor anymore as you rest your hands underneath your thighs; hem of your dress revealing more of them than he can usually see.
"I don't have any tattoos yet, but I've been talking to Namjoon about it." You said, and Jungkooks saliva tastes a little bitter at that. He doesn't want to pout or give away that it's bugging him at all that you're not talking to him about it- but he fails miserably. "Namjoon actually said I should talk to you about it, since the style I want fits you best." You say, and he can't hide his smile, bunny teeth on full display as he leans forward a bit.
"You'd let me tattoo you?" He asks, and you shrug, before nodding. "What do you have in Mind?" He instantly asks, not even bothering to hide his excitement.
If only you knew that it's because of you; and not just because he's gonna be the first to ink you.
You've both agreed on a design you want, and Jungkook can't deny that he thinks it's absolutely perfect on you.
"Are you scared?" Jungkook asks you as he prepares everything, his sweater's sleeves rolled up, revealing his own body art to you, as well as some bracelets; one that you recognize as the wooden-bead bracelet you had gifted him last year for his birthday. It was weird to see him wear it.
"I.. no. Just nervous." You say. "I'm worried I might cry and make a fool out of myself." You say with a laugh, and Jungkook chuckles, placing a reassuring and warm hand on your upper arm.
"It's fine. I've seen grown man cry like kids on this stretcher before." He casually says. "Don't worry; I won't think any less of you just because of some tears." He says with a smile, and you nod, turning your head to look at his room's walls instead; covered in drawings, sketches, and pictures of finished works he was most proud of. "Do you want anything to hold onto?" He asks, as he starts to shave the skin of your thigh to make sure he can work as best as possible. He's so into his work, so concentrated on doing everything perfect, that he doesn't even take much into account that you're laying in only your panties and oversized sweater; skirt neatly placed on a chair in the corner of the room, to get it out of the way.
"It's fine" You mumble, although you really want to. So instead you curl your fingers around the fabric of your sweater- something that doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook, who decides not to comment on it for now. He simply throws the one-time razor away as well as the tissues used to clean your skin, before he carefully places the tracing paper onto where he seems fit.
"I think it would look great right here." He says lowly, carefully removing the paper to reveal the lines he's gonna trace with his gun in a few minutes. "You wanna look at it again?" He asks, and you shake your head. "Alright." He says, before he gets up and walks out his room; only to return with your small squishy and round unicorn plush that's usually sitting on your desk. "To hold onto." He winks, and you chuckle at that.
Jungkook really pays attention.
"So, Taehyung has told me you're a bit younger than me." Jungkook says to start casual chit-chat, trying to help your nervousness as his tattoo-gun starts to buzz to live. "Only a Year if I remember correctly." He says, and you nod.
"Yeah.." You say, and can't hide your dissapoinment flooding your voice. Jungkook, until now, only had relationships with girls older than him. He's even said before that he just likes having someone older than him around- which made you even more nervous around him.
"You sound upset about that." He chuckles, and gently holds onto your thigh as you jump a bit when he first presses the tip of the gun down. "Sorry. I'll be gentle." He lowly tells you, and you swallow.
Not the time Y/N, not the time.
"Uhm.." You say, fingers digging into the squishy plush in your hands. "I.. there's someone I like, but he.. only likes older girls, so.." You say, and Jungkook glances at you. You're already interested in someone? He continues to trace the lines, wiping afterwards to get the excess ink and blood off. "But I mean, then again I don't think I have a chance with him anyways." You chuckle, and Jungkook can't help but shake his head. Even if you're interested in someone else, he shouldn't let you have thoughts like that.
"Highly doubt that." He says. "If he doesn't see you, he's blind." He tells you, and you giggle, glad that he's able to make you feel a bit better about everything. "I'm serious." He says, and you nod at that, watching his inked arm flex every now and then as he draws with absolute concentration; black facemask hiding half of his face. You can see the way his eyebrows furrow, eyes fixated on his work as he moves with absolute routine. "Do I know the guy?" He casually asks, before he dips the tip of his gun in the tiny pot of ink again.
You don't know what to say.
He looks at you for a second, and decides not to dig. "You don't have to tell me. Sorry if I seemed nosy; didn't mean to." He apologizes, and you shake your head to let him know its fine. It's quiet for a moment afterwards, only the buzzing of his gun and your occasional whine of pain. "Sorry; it'll hurt a bit more now since I'm getting close to your inner thigh- that's always a little more sensitive." He comments, and you really hope he doesn't pay much attention to your panties.
When you can see his eyes stick to them for a second, you really want to just disappear.
He doesn't comment on it though. What is he suppsosed to say? He really doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, and considering that you already have a crush on someone else, he doesn't want to get himself in too deep as well. He simply works away, finally finishing the thin and delicate outlines of your piece- the first step, before he will see you again for color and shading. He finally connects the last line, and doesn't think twice about what he says next.
"Good girl."
It takes a second that feels way too long for the both of you to register the words, and Jungkook quickly occupies himself with turning off his gun and cleaning up your skin and his workspace to get the awkwardness out of his room. You try to instantly stand up, but his palm holds onto your leg- silently ordering you to stay put, which you do. He rubs something over the piece, before he gently lifts your leg to wrap it. "I'll give you a bottle of lotion for it. Leave that bandage on for.. I'd say until tomorrow morning at least. Afterwards, apply the lotion everyday to help it heal properly." He lectures you with a gentle voice, before letting you sit up.
"Thanks." You say, grinning eagerly at the now hidden artwork on your leg. Jungkook chuckles.
"We're not done yet, but I'll take it." He says. "I uh.." He starts, as you jump off the stretcher and go to take on your skirt. "uhm, you up for some fast food?" He asks, a bit hurried, before he can chicken out again. And he hates himself for a moment, because you had literally told him just half an hour before that you already had interest in someone else. But maybe you were too innocent to get his innuendo, maybe you wouldn't get that he was asking you on a date-
"Like a date?" You ask, and he really wants to hit himself.
"I mean, if you want it to be?" He says, swallowing as he averts his gaze, a sight very weird. His hand runs through his hair, chain around his neck and piercings on his ears clattering against each other and making sounds as he moves, his combat boots nervously tapping the floor a little. "It doesn't have to be.. I know you're already-"
"I'd love to." You say however, now fully dressed again, as you grin with your bright sparkling eyes.
And Jungkook feels like he's won the lottery.
It's your third time laying on Jungkooks' stretcher like this- waiting for him to work on your art, finishing it today. But the energy is different.
Things are different between you two in general.
After some casual movie dates and rounds of overwatch, Jungkook had admitted to you that he had a crush. It was rushed, while he was driving, so he didn't have to look at you and instantly get hit by your reaction. But then, you had told him that you felt the same- and the two of you agreed to let things process from then on. Whatever would happen; you would let happen.
And Jungkook was starting to flirt with you.
It was a little weird to get close to him like that. While everyone seeing you two was a little taken aback- with your dresses and skirts, and colorful and almost childish personality, he seemed like the absolute opposite- quiet, all dark and dangerous while carrying your milkshake so you could put your phone away into your purse.
"Alright doll, let's finish this." He said with newfound enthusiasm, winking at you as you laughed at his demeanor.
"You seemed more excited than me!" You say, and he chuckles. "You're really desperate to have me gone?" You say in a playfully upset tone, and he simply huffs out a breath, before cockily looking at you for a second.
"That's not true." He says. "I'd just rather have you laid out somewhere else than in my studio, that's all." He casually says, and you shut your mouth at that, cheeks red as he laughs at your cute display of embarrassment. He routinely prepares your skin, before he starts his gun. "Too much?" He asks, and you know he's not talking about the pressure of his ink filled gun on your skin.
"No-" You start, and he now seriously speaks to you, voice a bit muffled through his facemask.
"Please tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable." He says. "You're not upsetting me if you tell me I'm going to far." He says, and you nod, knowing that he now needs a proper answer. Jungkook is way more attentive and romantic than people may think he is. He's a gentleman pulled out of a dictionary- careful and gentle with you, and always keen on getting to know you for you, and not for the person you like to portray yourself as. He wants to know what you like, what you don't like, what you dream of, and what you hate about yourself.
"Don't worry- I will." You say, watching him work on your skin. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums a reply to let you know he's listening. "Is it okay if I sleep?" You ask, and he chuckles.
"Didn't I tell you not to stay up for too long before I left yesterday?" He teasingly retorts back to you, and you pout at him- with no hard feelings behind it. He had left last night after eating with you for dinner at your place; and he did indeed tell you to go to sleep a little earlier since he knew you would have an early shift today, opening up the store. "I'm really tempted to say no." He says, eyes now on your skin again as he dips the tip of his gun in a pot of color. "You know, as punishment for not listening." He mumbles, and you almost don't catch it.
Almost.
"Jungkook?" Taehyung stands in his doorway, finally finding him sitting at his desk. "Oh?" He says in a surprised tone, spotting your sleeping figure on his coworkers lap- head resting against the inside of his shoulder, with your arms around his middle.
"Yeah?" Jungkook asks, not at all shy or fazed by the fact that Taehyung is looking at you. "What is it?" He asks again, as Taehyung smiles, giving the younger man his small booklet that you usually give him every morning.
"Nothing left for today." He said. "Just wanted to tell you good work and send you home." The older one explains, zipping up his own jacket. "Guess she'll be coming with you?" He asks teasingly, but Jungkook doesn't bite the bait at all.
"Yeah. Don't burn the house down while we're gone, you two. " He says, slipping the booklet into his pocket before he pats your back. "Come on doll, let's go home." He tells you, waking you up at least enough to put on your shoes and lead you out the store to his car.
He buckles your seatbelt as the engine comes alive, radio playing its tune softly in the background as he drives you home. "You awake doll?" He asks, and you nod your head, turning towards him with barely open eyes. "You haven't had anything proper to eat today, so I'll make us some ramen at my place, ok?" He asks, and you nod, before your eyebrows scrunch up. "What is it?" He chuckles, and you now grow more awake.
"Wait- but if we eat at yours then you're gonna have to drive me home late." You say, and he shrugs. "Noo, Kook, what if you crash the car because you're sleepy?" You tell him with a whine, genuinely concerned for him, as he has the audacity to laugh. "Kookie, it's not funny I swear to god-!" You say, and he apologizes.
"I mean." He starts, casually dropping what he had wanted to ask you for a couple of weeks now. "You could always just stay over." He tells you, and you look at him, meeting his gaze at the red light he stops at, his head turned towards you for a moment until the lights turn green again.
"We.. would have to stop at mine so I could get some stuff though.." You mumble, and Jungkook looks at you with newfound enthusiasm, setting his turning lights to enter a different road.
It's in a parking lot that you first unintentionally confront him with your biggest insecurities and flaws.
You've tripped over a stray stone you didn't see laying on the ground, leading you to fall onto your hands and scraping your knees open. Just like any normal human being, you dust yourself off, instantly hoping that Jungkook inside the shop hadn't seen you fail at something so basic as walking. You had carried some of the items you two had bought into the car while also returning the shopping cart while he had payed- and by the look on his face, he had definitely seen you.
He wasn't laughing, or hiding his grin, or anything alike. He looked concerned, taking his card back from the cashier before walking out the store, jogging towards you, who sat in the open trunk, ready to get laughed at. Even though somewhere deep in your mind you didn't think he would, past experiences had led to you now having that fear, no matter with whom. "Are you okay?" Jungkook asks, looking at you as he squats down to take a look at your bleeding knees. He reaches into one of the shopping bags, taking out a water bottle and a pack of tissues, before he wets it, one hand holding your leg by the backside of your knee, while the other carefully cleans the small wound. "You gotta be careful Baby." He chuckles a little- nothing like the laughter you had expected.
"I'm fine." You say, not looking up at him.
"It's okay to cry, you know?" He says, and you stay quiet, trying not to breathe too much as you desperately hold them back. "I won't laugh." He promises, deciding not to look at you as to give you a bit more space.
"People will stare though.." You quietly murmur towards him, and he finishes his job, before he goes to throw the now used tissue away in a nearby trashcan. When he returns, he's taking his jacket off, the item way too large on your form as he throws it over you, pulling the hood up as you look at him for the first time since your little accident, eyes sparkling with unshed tears when he pulls the sides of the hood towards him a little. "There." He says, a reassuring smile on his face. "Now no one can see you but me." He tells you. "And I will never, ever, laugh at you." He promises, and pulls your head against his chest, as you start to let go.
He really hates to see you cry- but he's glad that you're letting him in enough to let him see you this way.
Jungkook is frustrated.
He tries not to really show it, because he doesn't want to blow up in your face like that, but then again, you're kind of the reason he feels the way he does. Because even though he thought you both had a genuine connection, you're yet to let him touch you.
And not just hugging and holding hands.
It's not that he's impatient- its because he knows you, at one point, wanted him that way as well. But something happened, something he didn't notice, that made you take ten steps backwards from him. You seemed to be retreating, giving up, and he has no idea what he had done to make you react that way.
As far as he knows, he had done everything right.
But then he sees them; the messages sent back and forth between you and Hana, a returning customer at the shop- well known to flirt with everyone around here. Jungkook himself had actually considered hooking up with her once a year back, simply to make her shut up, but then again, he wasn't into one-night-stands. And she had never truly been his type anyways.
'Ah yeah, just re-schedule that then, I don't mind at all! Just make sure we have enough time together, since we haven't had time to catch up on things recently, if you know what I mean.' She had sent, a week ago; exactly the timeframe you had started to distance yourself. He knew he shouldn't look into it, but then again- this was his business too. He had the right to know.
'Sure? I can give you an appointment at around 4 PM then, so you'll be the last one. Would that be okay with you? Again, sorry for re-scheduling on such short notice.' You had written, and Jungkook can't decide if you had been oblivious to her implication (which was bullshit), or if you were simply too polite to call her out. But it's the next messages that make him fume.
'Again, no troubles. As I said, I only care that its Jungkookie, I don't really trust anyone else with my body that way ;). 4 PM is perfect, you guys still close at around 6 PM right? He's got skilled hands, I'm sure we don't need much more time, if you know what I mean.' she has the audacity to write.
But its your answer that makes him fume.
'Good to know.'
"Jungkook?" You say, looking at the screen, as you suddenly dash forwards, trying to shut the screen off- as if that would make any difference. But he catches your wrist with ease, holding it in his palm as he looks at you.
"Do you think I'm sleeping with her?" He asks, and you try to escape his grasp; and he lets you, staying at your workspace however as he keeps you locked in place with his gaze. "Y/N." He urges, making you look away from him.
"It's none of my business." You say, shrugging. "I.. No, it's-" You start, but he cuts you off.
"No, finish that sentence. 'No' what?" He says, and you've never heard him talk like that.
"I just.. didn't think you'd.. do that." You meekly say, murmuring it as he tilts your head gently upwards to look at him; his face now more relaxed as he softly smiles.
"That's good that you think that way." He tells you. "Because I don't do that at all." He says. "She likes to start drama all the time- was probably bitter I turned her down so much. You know what?" He suddenly says, turning towards the screen as he clicks to change the account, opening his own Inbox as he starts to write an E-Mail.
'Appointment is cancelled, be glad I'm not suing you for defamation. JK.'
"Jungkook-" You say, trying to get him not to send it- but it's already gone. "Why would you do that? Just because I misunderstood?" You whine, and he chuckles, shutting down the system as he looks at the clock, signaling that it's closing time.
"No." He says. "But because I don't want her around anyways, and this gives me a proper reason." He tells you, ruffling your hair as he looks at you. "You coming?" He asks, and you nod, taking your bag and coat before following him out the shop.
In the car, you finally speak up. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums out a reply. "Do you.. think I'm attractive?" You ask, and he clears his throat at the unexpected question.
"I- what?" He asks, unsure what you mean.
"Just.. Namjoon said, that he thinks you.. see me as a friend only? Because I'm nothing like the girls you dated before.. If I misunderstood something here then Oh my god-" You start to ramble, and Jungkook laughs suddenly.
"You think I'm not into you?" He asks, and you shrug. "Of course I want to fuck you doll." He casually comments, and you can't help but feel your cheeks redden. "Wait- did you really think I didn't?" He asks, face showing genuine horror as he looks over at you.
"I mean.. you never really initiated anything so I thought.." You started, and he groans out.
Thank god you're staying the night.
"Looks so pretty, does it?" He hums out, palm running over the tattoo on your thigh, delicate lines and well-placed shadings complimenting the colors perfectly. "You know why I love it most?" He starts, hand suddenly gripping the flesh for a moment, before he pulls you closer on his lap by the small of your back. "Because that's mine." He says, before he leans in, placing an open mouthed kiss against your pulse. "The ink that's under your skin, the design, the idea-" He mumbles against your skin. "And the body it's drawn on." You whine at his tone, dark and low, as he urges you back and forth on his clothed thigh- your panties suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "Isn't it like that, baby?" He asks, and you nod, furiously, and he chuckles. "Hm, you seem out of breath baby.." He grins at you, like a predator.
"Jungkook.." You whine, not knowing what you're asking for.
He wordlessly moves, helping you lay down on his bed before he crawls over you, his lips instantly attached to the skin of your neck, hands helping you out of your dress wordlessly, as he can't help but let his gaze linger on your body for a moment. "I can't believe that-" He says, pulling off your overknee socks. "-you'd ever think of yourself anything less than perfect." He says, placing a gentle kiss to the colorful image now forever placed under your skin by his skilled hands. He continues to display his affection over your skin, wandering over your stomach up to your chest, where he playfully bites just above your breast. He struggles with the front of your bra for a second, unsure how to open the undergarment without breaking it, as you help a little; letting them spring free. But only for a moment.
Because in the next, he's got them in his hands, palms gently moving over them, feeling their softness as he groans. "You're so sweet." he comments, as he finally kisses your lips, smile interrupting him every now and then. "So soft." Another kiss. "So delicate." Another one. "And all mine, yeah?" He asks, and you nod, smiling as he grins back, the expression making him look so young and carefree you can't help but wonder how anyone could ever think he's a bad man.
He's anything but.
He's so careful touching you, so delicate in moving his palms over your skin, as if its the most divine thing he's ever felt. He's still smiling, as if in a trance, while he can't stop kissing you. Your hands move into his hair- way softer than you thought it would be, and he groans into your mouth at the feeling of your fingers running over his scalp.
There's no urgency in anything he does.
He slowly moves again, hands opening your legs for him as he sits back on his heels, playfully pulling you closer by the backs of your knees, making you giggle. "You sound so sweet baby." He tells you, innocently, as if he's not currently placing his hand onto your center, ring finger collecting your already leaking wetness before he spreads it, moving his thumb over your most sensitive bundle of nerves while his ring finger enters you slowly. You whine at the feeling, not enough to get you as riled up as you'd like to be. Also; this is the first time you're genuinely experiencing foreplay. You don't know what to do- and Jungkook seems to pick up on that. "You good?" He asks, and you nod.
"I.." You say, breathless as he tilts his head, smile still present on his lips. "What should I do?" You ask, as his eyes widen.
"You?" He wonders, before he stops for a moment. "Don't tell me- this is your first time?" He asks, now genuinely worried he might've gone too fast.
"No.." You admit. "But uhm.. no one's ever, like.. you know, what you're doing.." You say, and that's when it clicks for him.
What kind of guys did you date before him that never gave you any attention like this? He's upset by it, but also weirdly cheered on by that simple fact; it gives him even more reason to make sure you'll get the most out of it. "Ah, I see.." He humms out, letting another finger stretch your entrance for him. "..well, I'm not like that." He explains, before he moves, face now close to your center- and you're unsure what he's going to do. "Trust me." He says, mumbles out, before his tongue places itself flat onto your clit, licking painfully slow as you move your hands over your mouth, trying to keep your noises in. "nuh-uh baby." He scolds, free hand pulling yours away. "Let me hear you." He demands, before he places his mouth back where it was.
Your mind is completely blank at this moment, the only thing you can really concentrate on being Jungkook, working you up so quickly you feel dizzy. It's new, and it's a little weird- but it's more than anything you've ever experienced before. And it brings you towards your end so suddenly you suddenly gasp out, back arching off the mattress as you grab at the sheets below, one hand grasping for Jungkooks, who lets you ride out your high to its fullest. "So pretty." He comments after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, smiling at your blissed out state.
"Kook-" You say, moving as you sit up, less shy now that your brain is still clouded by pleasure.
"Ah- you don't have to." He tells you, but you shake your head, and he lets you. He slips out of his clothes, finally bare, and you would've taken time to look at all the different pieces of art decorating his body- if it wasn't for his cock, red and ready in front of you. Usually, you would've let your insecurities and doubts get the best of you. But this was Jungkook. And you wanted to really believe that nothing you would do could ever be judged by him. So there was no hesitation as your hands reached out for him, gently moving, before you took him in, your lips wrapping themselves around his tip, before you moved downwards, fitting as much as you comfortably could. Meanwhile, Jungkook himself was steadying himself with one hand on the mattress, while the other was buried into your hair, his own head thrown back as he closed his eyes.
Of course he had fantasized about this every now and then; but he had never thought you'd actually be comfortable doing it. And even if- nothing he could've imagined would've ever compared to the real deal happening. There was something absolutely mindblowing about the way that you handled him, your sweet and pretty presence looking so divine doing such a sinful act with him. He had to pull you off by your hair, gently, because any more, and he would've been a goner. "G-Good god baby." He chuckles, pushing you a bit so you were on your back again, reaching for his bedside table to search for a condom. "I swear to god if I- HAH!" He tells you in victory, hands making quick work of opening the foil package and wrapping the safety over his length. "I swear I would've run out butt naked to buy one if I wouldn't have found this." He says with a grin, making you laugh.
"That's weird." You comment, and he chuckles, entering you slowly as to not hurt you, his breathing labored as he still kept the lighthearted energy going.
"You think?" He asks, and you nod, giggling as your eyes close, the feeling of him filling you up too good to keep them open. "Hm no." He said breathlessly. "Would've probably put on some pants maybe." He says, before he starts thrusting. "Doesn't matter if it means I'd get to fuck you." He says, and you giggle again.
"Kook!" You scold him, and he still continues to thrust into you, exhaling forcefully as he kisses your neck.
"What?" He whines high pitched as if to imitate you.
"Be serious!" You tell him, but can't help your own smile either.
"Oh, why though?" He says. "We're making love, not war baby." He whispers into your ear, and you still laugh at it.
"I can't believe you!" You complain playfully, moaning out when he suddenly thrusts with more force, obscene noises now interrupting you two as he picks up his pace, clenching his jaw.
"And-" He starts. "I can't believe how fucking good you feel." He presses out, hand now reaching between the two of you as he brings you towards an earth-shattering orgasm, making you mewl as you can feel yourself bursting. "Good girl!" He praises, watching as you squirt all over him, his own orgasm hitting him soon after as he grunts out, finally slowing down until he stills completely, his mouth attached to your neck to place gentle kisses and teasing bites near your pulse point.
"I love you." He mumbles out, and your eyes sting.
Because yeah, you love him- you absolutely do, but hearing it from him, hearing it in such an honest and warm-hearted tone, having this final proof of his own feelings towards you, makes you emotional. "Baby, why're you crying?" He chuckles out of breath, wiping your tears as you smile, and finally look at him with glossy eyes.
"Cause I love you too." You say. "So much."
And he can't help but grin at you.
You really are the sweetest thing.
You watch as Hana walks out of Taehyungs studio, arm wrapped up in clear foil as she walks towards your counter, pulling out her purse. "Taehyung agreed on 345." She says, until Taehyung yells another number out of his studio, making her eyes roll. She wasn't supposed to come back- but Taehyung had agreed to finish her piece at least. "Alright, here you go." She says, watching as you counted the money. "Does Jungkook work today?" She asks, and you nod. "I'm just gonna go say hi then. You can finish the receipt yeah?" She says overly sweet, and you're about to tell her that Jungkook doesn't want anyone entering without his permission, but he's already walking out his studio, black sweater and silver necklaces on full display as he walks towards you. "Jungkookie!" Hana exclaims, but her face drops almost chomically as she watches Jungkook walk up behind you, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder as he looks over it onto your screen.
"Oh, looks like I'm done for the day. You need anything Hana?" He asks innocently, one hand on your desk while the other rests on your chair behind your back.
"I- just wanted to apologize for uhm.. the emails. I didn't know you'd read them." She says, and you slowly close all programs, while Jungkooks humms out something.
"Yeah, I figured." He says, before he shakes his head. "As I said, I'm letting it go. No hard feelings." He says, shrugging, before he walks towards his studio again, stopping in his tracks for a second. "Ah, baby, can you text Jin-Hyung and ask him if we can come now? I'm actually starving I swear." He says, and you nod with red cheeks, pulling out your phone.
"Huh." Comes from Hana, as she takes the receipt from you. "I honestly.. would've never thought." She mumbles, before she simply leaves, without any more words.
Yeah. You would've honestly never thought either.
(c)Bonny-Kookoo. Please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi.com/bonnykookoo. Thank you for reading.
#bts imagine#bts#bts fanfic#jungkook imagine#bts fic#bts smut#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bts reactions
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WIP
Hey Guys!
Just wanted to drop a little snippet of what I'm working on. I'm alitle rusty cause I haven't touched my Word Doc in a little over two years (since covid hit and shit hit the fans), let alone gotten completely over my relentless and bitchy writer's block. Please be gentle.
Also, just want to say that I'm glad it's canon that you can hear people in the upside down. Just sucks they can't hear you. For sake of my headcanon, I made it so time stopped the year Billy came to Hawkins and not when Will got possessed like in the show.
......
Billy is battered and bruised and at his wits end. He’s never really fully practiced his religion, but prayer has been his only saving grace lately. It’s what’s been keeping him going, keeping him sane. If this damned place exists, who’s he to say that there isn’t a greater power out there. He’s survived this long, by some God given miracle. He kisses his medallion and goes about his continuous routine. He has no sense of time here, so he does what is best and listens to his body for cues to tell time. When he’s hungry he’ll search for edible food to eat, although its scarce; he’s had some luck. When he’s tired, he’ll hunker down and rest in a somewhat safe place. Although at times feels like a difficult task, with this place trying to kill him at every second he’s not on guard. Regardless of the circumstances, he’s managed.
On occasion he will go to his house on Old Cherry and just sit idle in his living room. He doesn’t recall when he first hears it, but he’s sitting in this place’s replica of his room. He’s looking through his records and reading his worn out and grimy copy of Metal Edge magazine. He knows the words to every article, had reread them several times for lack of better things to do here. Survive the damn bats, hunt for edible food, read the magazines like a routine. It’s all old news, things he already knows about his favorite bands, but he can’t wish for something else to take up his time. The mere thought of him actually wishing for something he can’t have would set him into an existential crisis. It would remind him that no matter what he does, his situation will not change. He’s stuck in this backwards version of Hawkins, as a constant reminder of how much he hates this place. When he hears the whimpering and soft gasps of someone crying. “Billy, please help me”, he almost believes he's probably lost it. Sanity completely slipped and he’s hearing shit now.
It’s Max - and she’s crying, and he can hear her. “Max!?” Where is she? She’s in the room, he hears the echoes of her voice and her soft gasping breaths. But he can’t see her. “Billy. I miss you so much. Everything is wrong, nothing is the same anymore since you’ve left”. But he hasn’t left, not really. He wants so much to tell her that, disparity singing in his veins like an itch. “Max! Max, please I’m here. Jesus! Max, I can hear you. Can you hear me?!”. Her crying doesn’t seize, and his nerves are shot into a frenzy. He runs his fingers through his matted curls. Lost on what to do, how to reach her.
“Hah – I’d bet anything that you’d probably tell me to stop my crying if you were here.” No, Billy thinks. Given the chance he would never tell her that again. He would come up to her and embrace her tightly. He would let her tears run and be soaked in him because he misses her. He would then give her shit about it, but he wouldn’t mean it. “Max! Please, please tell me you can hear me. Tell me what to do!.” He figures this isn’t a fever dream anymore. It’s really her. It’s Max and she’s on the other side. He has to figure a way to get to her. Get her to acknowledge him, even if he’s not physically there in front of her.
It's quiet for a minute and he figures that she must have left already. “Max! Maxine!? – shit!” he frantically rubs his hands against his face. Her soft cries have stopped, and who knows when and if she’ll be back. He hears a knocking sound and the common screech of his bedroom door he told himself time after time needed some oiling. He hears another voice, someone else is in the room with Max now. Clear and softly calling for her. “Max? Hey kid. You alright?”. Holy shit, it’s Steve. He’d know that voice anywhere. The very same voice that haunts his daydreams since he first heard him utter a word in his direction. That’s definitely Steve’s soft baritone probably pulling Max from her downward spiral.
....
I hope you like it, I'm determined to continue this to its completion. I'm a mom so sometimes it's hard to find the time, but I will finish. My hyper fixation has my brain on Harringrove rot 24/7.
#pr3ttym3ssy writes#harringrove#max mayfield#steve harrington#billy is alive#trying to survive#billy hargrove#steve x billy
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quarantine longings
pairing: best friend!kevin x fem!reader
word count: 3.2k
synopsis: you and your best friend have sex because quarantine made you horny
warnings: best friends to lovers, takes place during the pandemic, spoiler of 356 days (but not the end, just generally the plot), no use of condoms but only the pill, creampie, sexual fantasies, fingering, hand-job, sex, slight angst at the end if you squint
a/n: I would literally die for kevin, I love him so much. I'll be writing a multiple parts series about him after I'm done writing scenarios for every member first.
requests are open!
masterlist + requests
you slammed your foot hard against the wall and cursed in pain. you hopped on one foot to your bed, holding your other leg in agony and tasted blood as you bit your lip to keep the volume of your suffering groans in check. someone knocked on the door.
'are you okay?' your roommate asked concerned.
'no, leave me alone, kevin,' you croaked out. you wanted to suffer by yourself.
there was an awkward silence and then you heard him sigh. soon after, the door next to your room closed shut.
why were you so frustrated, one might ask? well, the pandemic was kicking your butt and you just couldn't take it anymore. when the news of the virus had first spread, no one thought it would become this serious. but suddenly everyone was walking around with masks and spent most of their time staying at home.
after graduating high school, you and kevin had decided to move in together for college because both of you were broke and couldn't afford to live alone. you had been best friends since middle school and had been convinced that it was a smart idea at the time.
and everything went smoothly for the first one and a half years. however, after not seeing anyone else since the start of the pandemic over a year ago, it became increasingly difficult to share an apartment, but not in the way one might assume. you were neither sick of each other nor did you fight a lot. to tell the truth, it was quite the opposite.
earlier, before you had kicked the wall in anger, the two of you had painted together. kevin was majoring in art and, since you didn't have anything better to do, you joined him while he did projects for his classes. you might have been majoring in journalism but you had always liked drawing and painting, even though you weren't particularly skilled. you were a naturally clumsy person, always tripping over air and dropping things. today you were hecticly moving around your hands while telling him about a stupid video you had seen and you accidently let go of the brush in your hand. it hit the side of kevin's face, leaving a wide splodge of red paint on his right cheek.
to get back at you, he jerked his paint brush and splattered some green color on your white shirt. you saw this as a challenge and soon both of you were both drenched in the colors of the rainbow, laughing hysterically on the floor, not caring that you were spreading the paint on the poor carpet.
you turned your heads to look at each other and you felt absolutely in peace. you loved this man and couldn't be more glad that it was him and not anyone else you were stuck with inside of this apartment.
he stood up to take off his stained shirt and your smile quickly faded off your face. your lips slightly parted and you couldn't help but stare at his now exposed biceps and abs.
your mouth watered and you felt heat pooling between your legs as you took your time to study his architecture. thoughts about how badly you wanted him to thrust into you while his strong arms held you up invaded your mind. you tried to shake them off but it was impossible.
occasions like this were slowly becoming a common occurrence for you.
having mostly stayed inside for over a year, also meant that you didn't have sex for that long. it's not like you were the horniest person on the planet but you still had needs that were being neglected. with kevin being home all the time you didn't even dare to masturbate, scared that he would be able to hear you through the frustratingly thin walls. you must have gone insane with all the lust building up inside you and that's why you suddenly craved to have sex with your best friend. this whole thing was destroying everything. it was hard to act normal when he was making you this nervous and heated but you tried to pretend that everything was fine anyway for the sake of your friendship.
that was the reason why you were angry and had hurt yourself. you hated the way you felt about your best friend and you hated the pandemic for not giving you an outlet to escape so you could recollect yourself.
what you weren't aware of was that kevin was no stranger to the exact same frustration.
he would need more than his ten fingers and ten toes to be able to count the amount of times he had to run to the bathroom to hide his boner because he had done so much as look at you bend over or stretch. he didn't want to make you uncomfortable but it was a challenge to try and calm down his hormones.
whenever he jacked off, images of you flashed through his mind; your sweet curves and pink lips drove him insane.
last week, you two were cooking together and you had asked him to get the salt. he stood behind you to reach for it on the highest shelf. he was forced to press his crotch against your butt cheeks and his dick hardened against his will. he quickly handed you the salt, excused himself and ran off before you could figure out what had happened.
he might not have known the cause of your sudden outburst but he sympathized with your fury because he had a lot of pent up anger towards covid as well.
he lay in his bed and tried to focus on the book he was reading but he couldn't tune out the groans coming from the room next to his. he cursed.
'stop it!' he was panicking as he saw a familiar tent forming in his pants. your sounds triggered some weird perverted part of his brain that sent signals right to his genitals. his dick was hardening and he saw no other solution to his problem than to give in to his subconscious desires.
he pulled down his pants just far enough so that his cock had enough room to spring out. it only needed a few strokes before it stood tall and angry. kevin pressed his head into his pillow and moved his hand fast. he wanted to get over with it quickly. he emptied his cum on his stomach while imagining your greedy little mouth being stuffed by his cock. he lay there panting as yet another round of shame flushed over him.
'get yourself together,' he whispered, mentally slapping himself.
***
'do you want to order japanese or italian?' you asked kevin. today was friday which meant it was time for your weekly tradition of ordering take out and watching a movie.
'definitely italian. we've already had japanese for the past four days. I need something else for a change,' kevin complained and shuddered at the thought of having to eat sushi again. the japanese restaurant prepared absolutely delicious food but he just couldn't stand it anymore.
you laughed at his pained facial expression. 'fine, italian it is.'
within twenty minutes the doorbell rang and after about half a minute kevin came back with two huge boxes.
he opened them on the small table situated in front of your couch and the smell of freshly cooked pasta seasoned with basil made your stomach growl.
kevin wanted to dig in already but you stopped him. you had to choose a movie first.
'let's watch tall girl. I saw everyone hate on it on tiktok,' you suggested.
'I think we should watch 365 days, that was all over my for you page as well,' kevin argued. you hadn't heard of it so you weren't sure whether it would be the right movie for you. the rule was that it had to be as bad as possible.
'according to what I have heard, it's apparently even worse than 50 shades of grey,' kevin added which piqued your interest. the both of you had watched 50 shades about two months ago and you were honestly shocked by how awful it actually was. you couldn't understand why everyone had been so obsessed with it when it was first released. if 356 days was really worse, then you'd hit the jackpot. you clapped your hands.
'fine, you win. I swear if the movie isn't as horrible as you say it is then you owe me something!' he intertwined his pinky with yours to promise.
watching horrible movies was way better than watching good ones. making fun of bad storylines, stupid characters or horrible editing was one of your favorite past times.
'I guess I'll have to add are you lost, baby girl to the top 10 worst lines ever spoken. who thought ah yes this is sexy, let's have him repeat it over and over again', you complained, shoving some pasta into your mouth.
'so he's like I won't do anything without your permission while he is literally groping her boobs against her will, like make it make sense, massimo', added kevin, ruffling his hair in frustration. he almost completely forgot about the food.
'so let me get this straight: he drugged her, kidnapped her, tied her up, hung up a painting of her just because he saw her face when his dad was shot?'
'totally relatable.' both of you giggled.
you were enjoying complaining about the plot. it was horrible.
there were plenty of erotic scenes but they were honestly so funny and kinda gross that you could bare it without really being affected by them. kevin, on the other hand, had placed a pillow over his hard-on to hide the embarrassing fact that these terrible, smutty scenes had turned him on.
and then the infamous boat scene came.
massimo and laura had a huge fight, she fell of the boat, he saved her and now she was suddenly so in love with him that she begs him to fuck her. which he does.
you felt your panties become increasingly wet as the couple had steaming hot sex.
'this is embarrassing but I'm so horny,' you admitted but in a way that should have suggested that you meant it as a joke. something about this statement stirred something in kevin.
'well, what can I say?' he replied and lifted the pillow. your pupils widened at the sight of your best friend's bulge.
his eyes darkened and he looked at you with lust clearly written on his face. you reciprocated his stare with the same intensity. you tried to focus on his dark brown orbs instead of his boner but the image you had just seen was present in your mind.
his gaze shifted to your lips and, before you knew it, kevin climbed above you and pressed your back flat onto the couch.
your lips locked and you immediately buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer. you moved in sync, his lips fitting perfectly onto yours. you bucked your hips up against his crotch and earned a moan from kevin. he opened his eyes in shock as realization hit him. he quickly pulled away and jumped off the coach.
'I'm so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have just done that. I don't know what came over me,' he apologized profusely, staring at his feet. did he really think that you didn't want this?
'give me your hand,' you told him and held out your hand.
'why?' he raised his eyebrows in confusion. you rolled your eyes.
'just do it.'
you took his hand and led it to your crotch.
'what are you- oh my god.' your juices had completely soaked through your panties and your sweatpants. 'you are so wet.'
'for you,' you added. 'there's no need to apologize. I'm literally begging you to continue.'
you didn't have to say that twice before he pulled you closer to him by your hips and engaged you in another desperate kiss. his hands were groping your butt while you let yours slide under his hoodie. you felt his naked skin and toned abs, as you rubbed his stomach. you lowered your hands and bravely palmed his boner through his clothes.
'y/n,' he hissed out against your lips. you hooked your thumbs in the elastic of his pants and underwear, and pushed the material down to his thighs. he struggled to get them off.
you stroked his hard dick as he slipped his hand into your panties to massage your pussy at the same time.
he slipped one finger inside and began working it in and out. you finally were getting the relief you had been desperately craving for for so long. kevin was skilled and your walls were trying to swallow his slim finger. you were quickly coming close to your orgasm after having abstained for more than a year. you pulled his hand out.
'I bet you can make me come even better with your dick,' you challenged kevin.
'you bet I will.' he was confident.
'let me just look for a condom.' he was already turning away to go search in his room but you held him back by the arm.
'forget about it. I'm on the pill and I want you raw. I want you to come inside me and not spill into a stupid condom.'
the idea of this sounded very tempting to kevin. he picked you up and threw you back onto the couch, drawing your hips closer to him so he could pull off all the pieces of clothing that were hindering him from accessing your pussy.
he propped up his arms next to your sides and spread your thighs apart. strings of arousal were hanging from your folds and he saw your hole desperately clench around nothing. his dick hurt from how much he wanted to finally be inside of you. he wanted to find out how close he had been able to imagine how you would feel around him.
your hole took him in easily, welcoming him happily by embracing it tightly. kevin swore he could've cum right here and there.
he went slow at first to give you a chance to adjust but you were already fully ready, rocking your hips forward to meet his thrusts.
he crashed your mouths together and you kissed him like he was oxygen and you were short of air. you smiled and your eyes rolled back, satisfied with how things had played out today and the prospects of coming looked fairly promising.
desperate for release, kevin picked up the pace, his eyes closed while fucking into you like a horny animal. he couldn't help himself and all the 'faster's and 'harder's spilling from your mouth only encouraged him to drive himself deeper into you.
you wrapped your legs around his torso in an attempt to regain the control you were losing.
'fuck fuck fuck,' you cursed, feeling your muscles starting to contract. kevin brushed away some hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.
'it's fine, I'm coming too,' he announced and it took only a few more thrusts before a body shaking orgasm flushed over you, making you see only white. this drove kevin over the edge too and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his hot cum. he continued to slowly ease his dick in and out of you, fucking his semen right back into you until you had ridden out both of your orgasms. he let himself fall onto the couch right next to you, panting hard.
'I very much needed this,' you sighed in content.
'same, I wasn't sure whether I could hold out any longer without having a proper orgasm.' he watched his cum drip out of you.
'we should've thought of this sooner,' you said. 'this was a great idea.'
kevin hummed in agreement.
***
so now you and kevin were having sex on a regular basis, your high score being five times in a day. it felt good to finally live out your sexuality and not having to restrict yourself. sure, you guys did it more than necessary but it was a great way to pass time and it felt fucking amazing.
today you had done it in the shower after waking up, then on the kitchen counter and you had just finished having sex in his bed.
he was spooning you from behind, his cock still placed inside of you. he nuzzled his nose into your neck.
'stop, that tickles,' you chuckled.
'sorry.'
after a while of comfortable silence you heard him let out a big sigh.
'what's wrong?' you asked as he pulled out of you. you turned around to be able to look at him.
'I don't think I can do it like this anymore,' he confessed.
'what do you mean?' you asked. 'are you talking about us having sex?'
he nodded. your heart dropped and you started feeling dizzy. you tried to search for answers in his eyes but he avoided looking at you.
'w-why?' you stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in your eyes.
'it was amazing at first,' he started and finally raised his head to meet your gaze, 'and I went into it without much thought. I went crazy during quarantine and began fantasizing about having sex with you. then it became reality but now I understand that was probably wrong of me. I've always thought of myself as a gentleman, yet I slept with you without much thought. you see, my issue is this…'
suspense hung in the air and you were impatiently waiting for him to get to the point.
'I like you.'
you quietly gasped in surprise. you had been expecting him to say you were bad at sex and that he regretted everything but not this.
'I shouldn't be sleeping with you unless you were my girlfriend,' he finished off his ramble. you felt immensely relieved.
'do you want me to?' you asked him.
'want you to what?' kevin was confused. he had been a hundred percent sure you'd immediately jump out of the bed in disgust when he confessed.
'be your girlfriend. after all, I like you too, you moron.' you realized that you had known this for a while. you might have even been crushing on your best friend since way before the pandemic struck but it was kind of hard to track your feelings. still, you were sure you liked him too. now that he had admitted his feelings, you were able to admit yours not only to him but to yourself as well.
'wow, I didn't expect this,' kevin confessed surprised. you laughed.
'yeah, we should've realized this sooner.' he pulled you closer and kissed you. it was different than the other times. his lips moved softly against yours, in contrast to all of your rough and passionate kisses you had exchanged these past few weeks. he conveyed his emotions through the kiss.
'you're ready again?' you groaned as you felt kevin's dick harden against your upper thigh. he chuckled.
'sorry, you just turn me on so much.'
so then you did it for the fourth time. that day, you set a new record of having sex six times. you might have been happy now but still just as horny.
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It’s Friday night and I’m tired after working more than a full workweek with two kids at home all week. My period starts in two days. So I know I’m not in my usual right/bright headspace.
But my questioning the current state of my household and the immense pressure and stress we’ve (again) been thrown into isn’t some kind of Covid conspiracy. We believe in science and I’m not trying to imply the whole thing is a scam.
I’m back to where I was earlier this week. Why is a 3 year old who has pcr negative and many rapid negatives under his belt, no real symptoms, etc required to strictly isolate for 10 days? Why is he excluded from childcare that long? And what are families with small kids supposed to do? This way of living is unsustainable. We’ve been in an unending cycle of childcare CRISIS (this is a crisis!) for 2 years. First, our center closed on 1 (!!!) day notice and never reopened in March 2020. They’re still closed. Then we had a nanny who exposed us to Covid. Then we found a daycare and had to pull him out because it was patently unsafe and I personally saw a teacher physically handle children in a way I consider inappropriate - nevermind that he choked and vomited because there was plastic in his nose which no one evaluated adequately. So then he was home for another month, because daycares have zero openings and wait lists of 6+ months. Enter the nanny again, who again exposes us. New daycare opens finally and he goes for one week before being sent home for 10 days. For the pleasures and joys detailed above, I’ve spent better than $20k a year. No one with little kids can say it’s been easy but I think it’s fair to say we’ve had it exceptionally bad in this category.
I can not do this anymore. So yes, I am going to wonder if we really have Covid in the house, and I’m going to question how much I can care about that, because I am truthfully at the absolute last of my capacity right now. I have no more left. I’m not angry, I’m just broken.
Eta - and this is just about me. How about my son who has been benignly neglected this entire week, parked in front of the tv with snacks for hours upon hours, so we can try to eek out enough work to meet important deadlines? There’s no one at work to take my shit because we’re all down with Covid somehow or another, and there’s no family able to enter the Covid house to help care for children. The kids lose biggest.
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Pregnancy Series - Part 2
Finding out
Hope you like the second part of my pregnancy series!
Click here to read Part 1!
Jumin
You dried your tears after you dried your hands with the towel next to you, observing the pregnancy test you just took in front of you.
You hated that one stick so much that whenever your period was late, your heart was beating in fear and not happiness.
One and a half years passed ever since you and Jumin began to try for a baby and there was still no baby.
You couldn’t bear seeing your husband’s sad face anymore whenever you gave him the news that you weren’t pregnant and that this was just a false alarm.
You were sure that this time too, the result wouldn’t be the one you hoped for.
A last glance on the clock made you look at the pregnancy test for the last time before you would toss it into the trash can since you had to get the breakfast ready for Jumin, but somehow this time, something was different.
Your heart was beating crazily in your chest as your cheeks grew warm.
You slowly placed your hand on your belly as you watched the results on the stick you hated so much.
,,Pregnant’’ it said.
You slowly sat back on the toilet, the pink stick between your hands as you read it again. ,,Pregnant,’’ you gasped, trying to gulp the tears away.
,,J-’’ you were about to call your husband when your brain decided to think about this logically.
What if the test is false and he gets excited?
And so, you instead decided to not say anything and instead put the test in your pocket to hide in a bag so that he wouldn’t see anything.
The first thing you would do, however, was go to the doctor after breakfast.
,,My love, I forgot that I have to meet a friend after breakfast. I know I shouldn’t come late as your second secretary, but-’’
Jumin kissed you as he took his bowl of rice.
,,You are my wife and are allowed to do anything. Do you need Driver Kim perhaps?’’ of course you declined and even though you knew, you just lied. You knew that this was going to protect him…
,,Six weeks pregnant, Mrs Han. Your pregnancy test wasn’t wrong,’’ the doctor told you after a checkup, making you tear up.
She then made you follow her to a room where she made an ultrasound and eventually gave you your first picture of your baby.
The doctor explained the next steps, telling you that she wanted to see you regularly.
,,I’m so happy that you finally are here on your way and you did well. It's daddy’s birthday this weekend and you are already a perfect baby,’’ you sobbed as you looked around for some ideas for Jumin’s surprise...
Zen
,,I don’t think I can come today,’’ you groaned as you laid back as you just came back from throwing up into the toilet.
An acidic taste was left in your mouth, making you feel disgusting.
As if an upset stomach wasn’t enough, you even had a slight fever.
Your body felt weak and all you wanted to do was sleep, well, not that you could do anything else in this condition.
Your boyfriend looked concerned for you. The possibility of you being pregnant wasn’t even on his mind since the both of you finally gave up, wanting to wait again after so many failed attempts.
Well, Zen wanted to try more. It was more so you who couldn’t bear it mentally and so he stopped buying pregnancy tests.
,,It’s the time of the flu in February… well, I’ll stay with you,’’ Zen whispered and kissed your nose, feeling sad to see you so sick.
,,No,’’ you tried to stop him.
,,You need to go to work. It’s okay, I’ll sleep a bit and later when you are back, I will be better and I will be able to go to the doctor,’’ you told him, closing your eyes because right now everything was spinning in your head. You just wished for it to get better.
Zen hesitated, but agreed afterwards, giving you a last kiss. ,,I will come earlier, I mean, I took a holiday leave for tomorrow so I shouldn’t have much to do today,’’ he told you and quickly left as he was late for work.
You decided to close your eyes for a few seconds again before a big feeling of nausea hit you again, making you run to the toilet.
,,Ugh, I hate throwing up,’’ you silently cried to yourself as you tried to hold your own hair back.
It didn’t take you long until you decided to dial your doctor's number on your phone and ask for an appointment this afternoon.
,,Thank you, I will be there,’’ you said as the nurse asked you to come right away, making you groan in annoyance and get changed.
The weather was cold as you stepped out, closing the door behind you and walking towards the medical facility, rubbing your hands together as you were freezing.
,,Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day,’’ you remembered as you walked past a shop selling chocolate, remembering that you didn’t buy anything for your boyfriend yet.
,,Pretty lady! We even sell chocolate done with a picture chosen by you! Want to give it a try!? I bet you have a boyfriend!’’ a woman smiled at you, showing you pictures of white chocolate with edible photos printed on it.
You thanked her, telling her that you had to go somewhere and had no time.
A few streets away you arrived, putting your mask on and entering the building, telling the nurses that you had an appointment.
,,When I heard that you had a slight fever and felt nauseous, I knew immediately that you were pregnant!’’ the doctor smiled at you after she checked you up and took your blood sample, making you look in shock at her.
,,R-really? I am...expecting a baby?’’ you asked her, tears slowly coming up and rolling down your cheeks as she nodded.
You immediately called your gynecologist to make a second check and also see if you could already have a sonogram since suddenly you had a very good idea.
,,Ajumma,’’ you said with a teary face to the woman who wanted to sell you chocolate earlier.
The woman looked concerned at first, but quickly began to tear up herself as you held up a picture.
,,I just got this good news. Will you help me surprise this baby’s father?’’ you asked her.
Yoosung
Soon, you and Yoosung would celebrate your eighth wedding anniversary.
You were currently sitting in front of the window, thinking about everything the both of you achieved until now.
A lot.
Yoosung had a stable job, you worked with the RFA, both of you had your own big house with a beautiful garden. Your relationship and marriage was the best, there wasn’t anything else you could wish for.
Everything seemed perfect, if just that one little detail wasn’t missing.
A child.
Something you both could take care of and shower with love and affection as it grew up.
But some things weren’t meant to be. It was just too much for you to handle.
The disappointment you regularly had to face, the pain in your heart.
,,We should give up,“ you whispered as you kept looking outside of the window, tears in your eyes as you said these harsh words.
Giving up was something you would normally never do.
Yoosung hugged you from behind, knowing how much this situation was hurting you and how much this made you depressed.
,,I will be back for dinner,“ he whispered after a few seconds before he rubbed your arms and put on his jacket to step out on his way to work.
As soon as he was outside, you could finally let out that loud sob you held onto yourself to not make Yoosung pity you and cried alone in your room.
,,Ah, I need to go to the doctor today,’’ you groaned as you dried your tears with your palm, sighting and looking at your display as you calculated how much time you still had until you had to go there.
As soon as you arrived, you rolled your eyes in annoyance as you sat down in the waiting room, three pregnant women with their husbands on their side, smiling widely, feeling probably blessed. Today was a bad day.
You were truly happy for every pregnant woman in the waiting room, but seeing them made you angry and made you feel and think things you shouldn’t.
You were jealous, jealous that they achieved something you couldn’t achieve in all these eight years.
,,Mrs. Kim?“ the doctor called you, making you stop thinking about the women around you and instead look up at her.
Your doctor was smiling at you as she asked you to follow her, leading the way to her room where she asked you to sit down to talk to you.
,,How are you?“ she began, ready to listen as you told her that you wanted to give up on getting pregnant.
,,But before that I would like to check one last thing. Is that okay?“ she asked you, nodding as she typed something on her keyboard to note everything you guys talked about.
A bit annoyed, you watched her minutes later as she checked you, finally looking into your eyes, smiling at you.
,,Mrs. Kim, it seems that you are already pregnant. Five weeks,“ she smiled.
In disbelief you observed her, you could feel your eyes get teary. ,,But the last test-”
,,Sometimes they’re false, but you are pregnant,“ she cut you off.
While she talked about a few things you should keep an eye on, all you could think about was that tomorrow you and Yoosung had your anniversary and that this news was the best present you could give him, just like she just gave to you.
Jaehee
,,I just hope you are alright and that they can find out whether it is or isn’t Covid-19,“ Jaehee whispered as she looked out the window.
You weren’t with her together at home, something that already was difficult for her, but knowing that you weren’t feeling well somewhere apart from her made her feel even worse.
The both of you decided to have a little bit of time on your own, making you go to your parents home for the week. Neither of you ever thought that you would stay away longer.
The reason why you both decided to get a distance from your place was that both of you just agreed on giving up on getting pregnant.
It was getting too hard for you and her, knowing that your body couldn’t give you what you wanted - a child.
You and Jaehee already spent about 9.000 won to get you fertilized artificially three times and you both failed three times.
Six weeks ago, when the doctor told you once again that you guys failed, you decided to give up.
As if it was yesterday, Jaehee remembered your crying face in your dark, shared bedroom.
Your loud sobs and your trembling body on the floor.
You were devastated.
She couldn’t bear to see you falling apart anymore and she couldn’t bear to act like the strong one for both of you because she, too, was in too much pain.
As soon as your parents found out, they persuaded you to come back home for a bit to rest.
However, as soon as you arrived, the symptoms of the virus hit you.
You were feeling weak, had a slight fever, and you felt like your limbs hurt a bit.
,,I hope so too. The test was negative. Well, all my tests are negative,’’ you mumbled, making Jaehee feel bad without noticing.
,,Tomorrow they will take a blood sample, but I’m happy that you are feeling good, Jaehee,’’ you said as she told you that her COVID test was also negative.
,,Okay, I will go and sleep a bit. Call me tomorrow as soon as you know something new,’’ she whispered before she cut the call, her thoughts by your side.
The morning afterwards, your legs were shaking in the isolated waiting room as you waited for your results to come.
Well, if it wasn’t Covid it would be something less worrying, right?
Indeed, the news the doctor had was less worrying since you were told that you were positive - positive for a pregnancy.
,,Huh? But, the doctor said…. we waited so long!’’ you told her, crying out of happiness but not believing her.
,,Yes, sometimes the test can be false or he made a mistake, but I am for sure that you are pregnant,’’ she nodded.
And so, happy that you could go home again, you decided to not tell Jaehee anything and instead surprise her with good and happy news…
Saeyoung
Your husband looked at you with a sad face as you once again felt sick and decided to stay in bed the whole day.
But he knew that you weren’t sick, but more depressed and sad.
He gulped as he looked over to the calendar.
It’s been almost two years since the both of you agreed on trying to become pregnant, even though he was sure that it would work out in less than a year.
But you both failed.
And the one that was hurting her body was none other than yourself, but he could just observe you and stand by your side.
Saeyoung’s eyes wandered over to your desk where countless pills and bottles were standing.
The both of you were currently injecting hormones into you to overstimulate your production of eggs.
He was nibbling on his lips. ,,Mc?’’ he asked you.
,,Mhh?’’ you hummed in response, turning your body to his side.
He hated to see you in pain, feeling unwell, and of course the stress of becoming pregnant was something that bugged you too.
,,Maybe… well no, to be honest, I think that we should stop with the injections wait one, maybe two years for the baby. What do you think? I mean, I don’t want to stress out your body,’’ he whispered to you, nervous for your answer.
You just sadly smiled at him and nodded as you slowly closed your eyes.
,,It’s a good idea. I think I’ll sleep for a while. I actually have a headache,’’ you lied.
Well, the truth was that you stopped taking the injections for four days already, something Saeyoung didn’t know.
He also didn’t know that you were already six weeks pregnant.
But you also just found out at your last appointment when the doctor told you that you were five weeks along, making you feel the most happiest wife on earth.
The reason for your lies was that soon Saeyoung would have his birthday and you wanted to make this day a special day for him, but also for his brother, who would be an uncle soon.
And so you decided to lie to your husband who was clearly worried as hell and told him that you were having side effects of the hormones.
Well, that was something you also thought at first.
The doctor told you from the very first injection that the side effects may be hot flashes, mood swings, nausea, and swelling, so when you first had them, you didn’t actually think that you were pregnant.
But you still wanted to talk with her about it to make sure that everything was fine.
To your surprise, it was more than fine and you were pregnant.
,,We just need to keep the secret,’’ you whispered, rubbing your still flat belly.
Saeran
You patted your boyfriend’s back as he once again sobbed at the negative pregnancy test.
,,I… I’m a loser,’’ he whined and looked at you, his eyes red and swollen from all the tears.
,,Maybe my mother is telling me that I shouldn’t become a father, that I don’t deserve it, that I am bound to become a monster like her and… ahh… so much is going through my head!’’ he whined and threw the test into the next corner, sobbing into his hands.
You slowly began to sob too, feeling guilty.
,,I’m sorry, Saeran… I wish I could do better,’’ you cried as you looked at him. He seemed so fragile.
Your boyfriend suddenly looked up. ,,Why are you apologizing?’’ he asked you. He couldn’t believe what you were saying.
,,I can’t give you what you want. I’m a bad girlfriend,’’ you whined.
,,No!’’ he sobbed again. ,,I’m a bad boyfriend and brother! I can’t find Saeyoung so I’m getting punished and you’ve been with me even though you didn’t do anything!’’ he told you, now hugging you and rubbing your back. ,,I’m so selfish, crying to myself even though you’re in pain too!’’ he sobbed harder.
And so this day, just like other ones, ended with the both of you lying in bed, sobbing into each other's arms as you thought about the future without children.
But it was still empty.
Days passed by and you and Saeran decided to give it up. For the time being, you didn’t want to get stressed, you wanted to enjoy life/ Saeran wanted to find his brother for real now and you just wanted to have a clear head.
But it didn’t work as you felt a sudden pain in your abdomen.
Sick and lightheaded, you laid back in pain, feeling a slight temperature that morning.
Some infection, you thought. Being pregnant wasn’t on your mind back then.
But after you didn’t seem to get healthy again, Saeran decided that it was best to bring you to a hospital.
,,Are you perhaps pregnant?’’ the doctor asked you and seemed to understand the case pretty quickly.
But you wanted a whole diagnosis. ,,No, I can’t get pregnant,’’ you told him, hearing these words from your own mouth hurt even more and so you once again felt your hot cheek as your eyes began to shed tears again.
,,Make a pregnancy test to make sure before doing anything else,’’ he told the nurse and went off to the next patient.
Indeed, the nurse turned back with a big smile, asking you again. ,,Are you sure that you can’t get pregnant?’’ she asked you, rubbing your arm.
,,The last test was negative,’’ you whispered.
,,Well, we will bring you to the maternity ward because it seems that you are pregnant,’’ she chuckled and pushed the wheelchair to the other ward.
,,Uhm, can you please not tell my boyfriend? I… I want to prepare a surprise for him,’’ you told her as you began to smile in happiness.
Finally good news arrived. Was it a sign?
Jihyun
Almost two years passed ever since you and your husband decided to adopt a new child to make Lucy into a big sister.
However, back then the adoption wasn’t possible, making you go for pregnancy.
But to you it just seemed as if God wanted to punish you for something.
,,It’s not working,’’ you sobbed as you found out that this time, too, you weren’t pregnant.
Your husband pressed his lips together and thought of something else.
Injecting hormones into you was something he wanted to avoid.
,,Maybe,’’ he began, looking at you and stroking your hair. ,,Now, we should stop for a bit.
You are stressed out and I’m nervous.
We are doing our best and I’m sure that one day the right time will come and we will be able to have a child on our own,’’ he told you.
He let go of your hand and kissed your head and then walked off to pack his bag.
Jihyun also had to go on a business trip for six weeks so he had to prepare a few things.
As consolation, the both of you lastly had a lovely and also sexy time together. This time you two didn’t think of having a baby, you just wanted to feel each other, feel closer and happier as you both wouldn’t be able to stay next to each other for a bit.
The next morning, Jihyun already left. The house felt empty and you were down, but for Lucy, you kept staying the happy mother she knew, waking her up, preparing her, as well as bringing her to school and then doing your house chores.
But it didn’t take you three weeks until it all backfired. You got a bad virus and weren’t able to get off the bed.
,,I’m so sorry that I can’t help you,’’ Jihyun gasped from where he was currently, feeling guilty.
,,It’s okay. Hyun and Yoosung are helping me and Jaehee keeps an eye on Lucy's tuition while Jumin helps with the hospital and medicine,’’ you groaned as you felt like vomiting again. It was eight in the morning after all.
,,I am such a bad husband. Three more people have to look out for you,’’ he chuckled, happy that you had support at home.
,,Well, you are providing for our family so don’t feel bad. Besides, it’s five. Saeyoung and Saeran are doing their best making Lucy happy and helping me too,’’ you laughed.
A few moments later, you cut the call as a red haired man, none other than Saeyoung entered your room. ,,Hurry up, I am taking you to the doctor’s. I read countless diagnoses with your symptoms and none of them is anything I would like you to have,’’ he said worriedly, helping you get ready after you vomited again.
But the diagnosis you had was much better than you all thought and with happy tears in your eyes, you entered your friend’s car again, actually shocking him. ,,I never thought that you could be so wrong with your diagnosis, Saeyoung. Actually, Jihyun and I are finally going to become parents!’’
Vanderwood
The both of you stopped counting the time at some point.
It just felt like a never ending story. It felt as if it was impossible for the both of you to archive what you wanted to.
Becoming a family.
Having a child between the both of you at night, caring for someone…
The more time passed and the more negative tests you held between your trembling fingers, the more you thought that this was an impossible dream for you.
You kept biting your upper lip as you looked into your calendar again.
You were once again bleeding. It was your period.
A sigh left your mouth as you looked over to Vanderwood.
Ever since he stopped smoking and was actually trying for a child, his mood had gotten weirder and harder to bear.
You weren’t happy anymore.
,,Yo, Vanderwood!’’ you called him, trying to smile as he turned your head over to you. ,,I… can we actually stop trying? You can smoke again and I can… maybe focus on my job for a bit… like, nothing has happened yet. Can we go slowly?’’ you asked him.
This was so out of the blue, he was actually so shocked, maybe a bit pissed off. You fell over him with this topic as if it was the most causal thing to say.
But he still said yes. He still nodded at you and he still agreed with you.
And so he really began to smoke a day later. Of course, smoking wasn’t that good anymore. He actually hated it.
But, he was sulking? He was hurt by you, a bit disappointed even though he could understand what you were trying to tell him.
A few days later, your period didn’t come as strong as it was supposed to be, so you decided to visit a doctor, maybe also to get a prescription for your birth control again.
But the news you got there was something you never expected.
,,You’re pregnant and you’re three weeks along!’’ she said, looking at you happily. She never had a woman who couldn’t get pregnant since she was still not a very well known doctor.
But you, one of her hardest cases, finally did it.
,,Since it was a hard fight, I want you to take these,’’ she said and wrote something down. ,,You need to take them to support your body with the change, make sure to come regularly. I think you already know what to do, but do not lift anything heavy, rest a lot, sleep, drink, whenever something feels off do not hesitate to visit me, okay? I will now schedule the first ultrasound of your baby and then you will have the assignment to search for a midwife to support you, okay?’’ she asked her.
Suddenly you felt so happy and scared at the same time that you didn’t know what to do.
But you already knew that there was someone at home that would be clearly happy to find out and you knew that for sure.
Part 3 of my pregnancy series here
MASTERLIST 1
MASTERLIST 2
MASTERLIST 3
🤰🏻ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴄʏ sᴇʀɪᴇs🤰🏻Masterlist here
12.05.2021// 23:55 MEST
#jumin han#jumin x reader#jumin x mc#zen hyun ryu#zen x mc#zen x reader#yoosung kim#yoosung x reader#yoosung x mc#jaehee kang#jaehee x mc#jaehee x reader#saeyoung choi#saeyoung x mc#saeyoung x reader#luciel choi#luciel x reader#luciel x mc#707 x mc#707 x reader#saeran x mc#saeran x reader#saeran choi#jihyun kim#jihyun x mc#jihyun x reader#Vanderwood#vanderwood x mc#pregnancy#mystic messenger pregnancy masterlist
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Spill It - Harry Styles
an// i literally love the spill your guts concept, but hopefully this is a new take on it! also, this is not going to be chronologically correct to real life, that’s the fun of fiction! also in a world without covid
“I will never understand how you continue to convince people to do this.” I sigh, taking in the table in front of me.
“Let’s take a look at what Y/n here is so fond of.” James teases before giving the table a good spin, showing off all of its contents, “To start we’ve got salmon smoothie, beef tongue, bird saliva, scorpion, fish head, hot sauce, bull penis, and finally, the water beetle. I think you’re both familiar with the rules of this game.”
“I’m sure.” Niall smiles, turning his head towards mine and I nod in agreement.
Niall and I go way back, having been friends for years. We met back in 2013 when I opened for One Direction’s tour. I quickly become close with all of them. One more so than the others. Harry. He and I just clicked, everyone knew it. It took months for us to start dating, afraid that we would ruin the good thing we had, but neither of us wanted to wait anymore. You can’t pass up a connection like that.
“Niall, I will ask you the first question.” James announces, “We’ll go with the salmon smoothie.”
“Oh god.” He mutters.
James lets out a loud laugh and covers his face in shock over the question. He turns it to me so I can catch a glimpse before he reads it out-loud and my jaw drops.
“You might as well drink now, not even hear the question.” I tease, leaning across the table.
“Niall, who is your least favorite member of One Direction?”
Niall’s head drops in defeat, even though he was sure going into this a question like this would be brought up. He just wishes it could’ve been on something a little easier to choke down.
“Drink up, babe.” I smile, a teasing smile crossing my face.
“Fuck.” He shakes his head.
“I can’t… “ He reaches for the glass and throws it back, it takes a few seconds for the sludge to finally shift and he can get a mouthful. A sour look takes over his face as soon as it reaches his taste buds. He quickly leans down to spit it in the bucket.
“That’s horrendous.” He coughs, “It was like a salmon yogurt.”
“Alright Niall, your turn to ask Y/n.”
I smile politely to my friend of many years who takes on a sinister look once he’s read the question.
“Please be nice.” I stick out my bottom lip.
“Right right.” He laughs, spinning the table as he takes in his options.
“Don’t forget I have a very good memory, especially of the years spent on a shared tour bus…” I chaff.
“Don’t remind me.” He settles on the hot sauce, thankfully one of the lesser evil options. I would take this over anything else on the table.
I did crash on their bus more than my own. It started because they were fun, barely older than me, but then when Harry and I started dating we became. Even sharing a bunk as uncomfortable as it was most nights. Those boys grew up with me, and I’m thankful to still be in good contact with all of them.
“You recently welcomed your third god-child into the world when Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid welcomed their daughter to the world.”
“Yes, I did.” I smile at the cheering audience. I have managed to do the impossible in staying close with all of the boys since the hiatus. Well, all but one. Gigi and I met years ago, and I introduced the pair at an award show. The other boys had their reason for making me god mother, but it did give me this monopoly on all of the One Direction children.
“You are actually the god-mother to all three of the One Direction children. Who’s your favorite?”
My jaw drops at the question. Who had the audacity to ask that? To think I could ever answer that about any of my little nieces and nephews. The audience cheers in shock over the question as well.
“You’re joking.” I scoff, “They’re children, I could never pick a favorite!”
“How about your least favorite then?” James teases.
“You lot are all horrendous!”
I grab the shot glass and down the hot sauce immediately. I love all of them way too much to ever pick. I’m sure it’s exactly what they expected with a question like that. It burns for a few seconds and I put the glass back and try to shake it off.
“Nice one!” Niall cheers.
“Now James-” I clear my throat, the hot sauce catching up with me, “Name one guest that you would never invite back to the show.” I bite back a smile and fan my face with the card.
James looks up into the camera as if he actually wants to answer.
“C’mon, you can do it! Just for once.” I grin like a little kid in a candy store, I want him to answer. I want to know, and it would be nice to finally get him to reveal an answer like this.
“Are you trying to get this show canceled?” He turns to one of the producers off screen. He looks between them and the water beetle I’ve placed in front of him. He gives his head one last shake before throwing it down the hatch.
“Niall, it’s your last night on Earth, you can either spend it with your ex girlfriend Ellie Goulding or Selena Gomez?”
He goes back and forth, trying to be polite with his answer before eventually picking Ellie.
“Y/n, who is your favorite member of One Direction?” Niall asks, the smirk growing wider with every word he utters.
The crowd roars, knowing very well of my relationship from a few years ago. One that people still brought up regularly in both Harry and my life due to us remaining friendly.
“What is up with you guys wanting to know my favorites?” I roll my eyes, “Give me something I can actually answer.”
“Fine! I’ll ask you one!” Niall grins, an evil and family glint in his eyes appearing, “What songs have you written about Harry?”
A red hue takes over my face again, only this time it’s not from the hot sauce.
“Either that, or the bird saliva.” He grins, showing off a wide smile. If only we weren’t on national television and I could smack it off.
“It smells like wet dog.” I sigh, I pick it up giving it a whiff before setting it back down on the table, “Could I name one song?”
Niall and James exchange a look before the nod accepting it.
“I wrote the song Everything about him.” I smile. It shouldn’t exactly be a surprise to most people, there were clues. Both of our fans were smart enough to catch on and read between the lines. It was a song I released almost two years ago, the album following our breakup.
It was a powerful song, it quickly became one of the favorites of my fans. It’s also one of the few that I don’t perform. I can’t think of a time I’ve sung that song without crying, it wasn’t meant for the stage. It was meant to be played in your bedroom while you stare at your ceiling. People have always understood that.
“It’s a lovely song.” Niall smiles knowingly.
“Thank you.” I smile, I move on and reach out to ask James his question.
“James, you have been blessed to have both Niall and I on for carpool karaoke.” I smile at Niall, “Which one did you enjoy more?”
I can’t fight off the laughter that takes over. As if it isn’t hard enough to answer questions like these, it’s only upped the ante by having us both here.
“You’re kidding.” He dabs away the sweat on his forehead.
“It’s okay, Niall won’t be that offended.” I reassure and stick out my tongue at Niall.
“You’re an arse.” Niall laughs with the roll of his eyes.
In the middle of Niall and I acting like children bickering, James tears off a bite of the cows tongue without another word.
“Oh god.” I turn away from the unpleasant sight.
“That’s rank.” Niall huffs.
Niall answers his next question from James again, successfully getting away without eating anything.
“Y/n, if the past four years you have gotten into acting. You have made quite a name for yourself on the big screen as well as on the stage.” Niall begins.
“I don’t like where this is going.” I laugh.
“Rank your co-stars from your past films best to worst; Dylan O’Brian, Logan Lerman, and John Boyega.” Niall smacks his knee with a laugh.
“I have been blessed to work with so many talented actors” I start, picking up the terrifying looking bug that has been placed in front of me.
“Mhm.” James agrees with an evil smile on his face.
“So talented, that I could never rank them.” I throw back the scorpion before I can second guess myself. I manage to chew enough of it for it to count before spitting it out as gracefully as I can.
That’s a wrap after that, enough time getting juicy content out of us quite literally either spilling or filling our guts. I give Niall a hug before going back to my dressing room. I couldn’t be more thankful to share the couch tonight with a long time friend.
I drive home, eager to go home and relax. The episode won’t air until later tonight which gives me a couple hours of peace from Twitter. I take a bath and make myself some dinner, before eventually climbing into bed and turning on the TV to watch the episode.
It’s good, fun to watch back. Niall and I make a good pair, easy to read the friendship on camera. In time the episode ends and I turn off the TV and decide to go to bed. It’s been a long day full of press. Before I can actually drift off my phone lighting up and vibrating on my nightstand grabs my attention.
You are my everything too. xx
PART TWO??????
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