#courtney rosenburg

[dandylion240]

Jonah shuffled his way to his car. The embarrassment he felt over being demoted in the orchestra line up was only slightly less awful knowing once he got his act together he could have his position back. He’d known his performance was sub par but he hadn’t realized it was that bad.

Sitting inside his car he decided he’d put off confirming his suspicions long enough. He drove to a drugstore. His phone rang as he was getting out. “Hey Courtney, how are you?” he smiled into the phone. Courtney had become one of his closest friends. She’d come to him with the idea of entering her dad in a bachelor contest. He’d been all for it hoping it would somehow make amends for him choosing Ethan over him. It hadn’t worked out the way they’d hoped.

“Hey what’s up” her cheery voice brought a smile to is face “are you coming to visit this weekend?”

He stared at the ground as he made up his mind. “Yeah sure. Ethan and I would love to come.”

“Is something wrong” her concern something he could feel even over the phone. “Is Ethan jealous of you and my dad?”

“What? No” he shook his head “of course not.”

“You sure” she pressed.

“Positive.”

“Alright” she hesitated “I’ll let him know you’re coming. He has a new recipe he wants to try.”

“Great” he forced himself to sound cheery “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Hey if you need to talk” she offered “I’m always here for you. I might not have wanted you as a step dad but I hope we’re still friends.”

A faint smile brightened is eyes “I could use a friend.” His voice quivered.

“Jonah what’s wrong” she snapped “I know you’re not right.”

“I’ll tell you later” he sighed wishing he wasn’t such an open book.

“This weekend we’ll talk” she told him firmly. “Then we’ll decide if I’ll be killing someone or not.”

“Okay fine” he sighed staring at his phone. It would be good to talk to someone about his fears, someone who had been there through his darkest moments.

“How’s my boy” he asked standing in the doorway of his son’s room.

“Daddy” Eli’s clear happy voice brought a smile to his face.

Stooping he hugged his son close as soon as he launched himself into is arms. “Did you miss me that much” he asked ruffling his son’s soft blond hair.

“Yes” he nodded his head vigorously “come play.”

“I will in a minute” he hugged him a second time at the disappointment in his son’s green eyes. “I promise.” Standing with a sigh thinking of the package waiting for him on the counter of his bathroom. He’d do just about anything to avoid confirming his suspicions.

He only had about an hour before Ethan got home and Brendan came to get Eli for the night. It was now or never, at least for the evening.

Walking into the bathroom with a feeling of dread he opened the small brown bag. The contents rattled with the shaking of his hands. Setting it down he leaned on the sink breathing deeply. Lifting his head he gazed into the reflection. “Coward” he mumbled grabbing the box and tearing it open.

With fumbling fingers he held the test in his hands. Once again he felt he was standing on the precipice of change.

Pushing his thoughts way he forced his mind on reading the directions. Not too different from the first test he took when Eli was little more than an idea.

Following the directions he leaned on the wall waiting for the results. Closing his eyes he tried to imagine what it’d be like with another baby in the house.

“Daddy” the click of the bathroom door opening brought him to his feet “you promised.”

Looking into his sons earnest eyes he smiled. “I did.” Washing his hands in the sink he asked “what do you want to play?”

“Cars” he giggled “vroom vroom.”

“Why don’t you go pick out a car for me and I’ll be right there,” he suggested.

Eli did a little jig before running from the room. Stopping he turned “you promise?”

“Yes” he nodded “I promise.” Eli clapped his hands giving him a happy smile before leaving the room.

Shaking his head half wondering where his son got all his energy. He glanced at the test results. Positive. It was undeniable. “Pregnant” he mumbled tossing the test in the trash careful to make sure it wasn’t obvious at a glance. He’d throw it away in the kitchen so that Ethan wouldn’t find it before he had the chance to tell him.

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[pahk-in-action]

OH MY GOD??? DUNCAN 003?

I LOVE THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH

i drew some art for this (https://www.tumblr.com/total-drama-brainrot/744135000305303552/no-yeah-that-was-me-just-forgot-to-sign-off-i?source=share) au, not sure if sending this through asks is the way to go about this.

The MILGRAM AU, by none other than the lovely @pahk-in-action (Lindsanon, or just Linds)!

This is super cool!

[macabrefm]

───   𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔  :   Fc suggestions for Willow Rosenburg and Charlie Bradbury?

willow  rosenberg : sophie  skelton , sophie  cookson , shannon  purser , park  so  dam , nicole  maines , mina  el  hammani , maya  hawke , lovie  simone , lana  condor , kaylee  bryant , jessica  sula , geraldine  viswanathan , courtney  eaton , celeste  o'connor , aisha  dee

and I just answered charlie here. 

[dandylion240]

Jonah stared at the plate Courtney set in front of him. His stomach churned. His brain told him he was hungry but his stomach told him something different. “Thanks” he mumbled not wanting to hurt the girls feelings.

“Dad said you should eat” she stood over him hands on hips.

He suppressed a chuckle “you remind me of…” he snapped his mouth shut.

Tilting her head to the side “I remind you of who?”

“Doesn’t matter” he mumbled taking a bite of the congealing mac and cheese. His throat closed around it making it difficult to swallow. Thinking of his family was a dangerous thing. No matter how much he wanted to he could never go back. Not after what happened. They be so disappointed in him if they knew.

Pushing the mushy noodles away he mumbled his thanks to the young teen before shuffling towards the bathroom. He peeled his clothes from this body. They were soiled and reeked of body fluids and sweat. Staring at his reflection he felt the urge to punch it. He hadn’t asked for this yet he had no one to blame but himself for what happened. He’d put himself in that position.

The mac and cheese fought its way up. Retching into the toilet he heaved until there wasn’t anything left. He could hear the girl knocking on the flimsy door. Her high pitched voice asking him if he was alright. He doubted he’d be alright ever again. “I’m fine” he shouted back hoping that would keep her from pounding the door down. He was scarred enough he didn’t want to scar anyone else.

He stayed beneath the pelting water until it ran cold. It may not have done anything to settle his turbulent thoughts but it did wash away the filth and grime from the night before. He was beginning to think he might be able to face another night. Picking up his clothes, ignoring the stains he dumped them into the hamper. He couldn’t afford to throw them. He didn’t have the money to replace them.

As the clock neared the dreaded time he’d have to leave for work his heart thudded painfully against his chest. Blinking back tears he stood over his son’s crib “sorry little one.” He stuck a finger out smiling a little as his son’s fingers wrapped around it. “Your dad isn’t strong enough” tears rolled down his cheeks “I should have been able to do something. Fought harder.” The bruises scattered over his body a silent testimony to the fight he’d lost. “You deserve someone better than me” he whispered hastily drying his eyes upon hearing the door behind him click open.

“Dad says he’s ready” she said going over to the crib and picking up Eli.

“Ready” he asked confused.

“Yeah” she nodded towards the door. “Dad’s taking you to work.”

“He doesn’t have to” he chafed at the idea that this person he hardly knew felt he was incapable of taking care of himself.

“Take that up with him. I’m just doing what I’m told” she shrugged bouncing his son in her arms.

“Ready” a gruff voice asked by the door.

Facing the man Jonah felt his resistance ebbing. Meekly he nodded following the man from the apartment. “Thanks’ he murmured climbing into the car. He shuddered at the thought of facing his manager again. What if he wanted a repeat of the night before? What if he drugged him again?

Pushing the thoughts away as he walked into the bar. The scent of booze and sweat assaulted his senses. Numbly he sat at the piano all too aware of the eyes watching him, dark and hungry.

“You’re not playing tonight” the manager said approaching him a smug smile upon his face.

“That’s my job” he said in a low voice as his fingers trembled on the keys.

“After last night you have a new job. Entertainment” he grabbed Jonah yanking him up.

Twisting to get away Jonah winced in pain “I quit.”

“No one quits” he laughed dragging Jonah towards one of the rooms. Stopping he pushed Jonah against the wall leaning his body into his “be a good little boy and keep the clients happy. I told them all about you and they can hardly wait to meet you.”

“I won’t” he struggled trying to push the man away from him. He had to fight even if it was futile. He had to at least try.

“Let. Him. Go.” Jonah almost wept with relief upon hearing that deep gruff familiar voice.

Pulling  Jonah close the manager challenged “you want him come get him.”

The closeness of the man’s hairy sweaty body made Jonah’s skin crawl. He didn’t fight the bile the rose inside him. He let it spew out of him and all over the manager of the bar. Using the distraction Cory punched the man sending him flying backwards. He grabbed Jonah and hurried him from the bar before anyone else could react.

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[dandylion240]

Jonah set the table while he waited for the chicken to bake. Courtney was doing homework and Cory was due home any moment. He liked to have supper ready for when Cory got home on the evenings he wasn’t playing at the lounge.

He watched the minutes tick past frowning as it got later and later. Courtney wandered into the kitchen. “What’s for supper” she asked grabbing on apple from the fridge.

“Chicken” he said opening the oven to check on it. “We better eat before it becomes inedible.”

While they ate Jonah kept watch on the time. “Did your dad mention to you if he was going to be late?”

“Nope” she shrugged half listening as her fingers flew across her phone texting her friends.

“Will you please put that thing away” he demanded “you know you’re not supposed to bring it to the table while we eat.”

Her eyes flicked up flashing with anger. “Dad’s not here.”

Reaching across the table he put his hand the screen “put it away.”

Jerking her hand free. “You’re not my dad. You may be sleeping together but that doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do.”

“That’s enough” a deep firm voice commanded from the doorway. Without hesitation or question she snapped her mouth shut and attempted to leave the room.

Holding his hand out Cory waited for her to hand her phone over. Meekly she gave him the device. “You can have it back this time next week.”

“Next week” she protested.

“Want to make it two weeks” he asked eyebrows rising.

“No” she mumbled.

“Good” he crossed his arms “you can go to your room now.”

When she left he went to Jonah placing a kiss on his cheek. “Sorry I’m late.”

“I’ll get you a plate” Jonah offered scooting his chair out.

“Not yet” he said taking Jonah’s hands to stop him. “There’s something we need to discuss.”

Fear crawled up his esophagus from the depths of his bowels. Blinking hard “are you kicking me out?”

“What? No” lifting Jonah’s hand he kissed the knuckles “I wouldn’t do that even if we weren’t together.”

Courtney’s angry words telling him he wasn’t her dad. Cory being unusually late. It all felt like goodbye. A rushing sound filled his ears reminding him of the time he’d fallen into the pool as a kid. He thought he was going to drown. The chaos in his mind snuffed out the sound of Cory’s voice. He stared at the ticket’s being held out to him “I don’t understand.”

���You’re going home. It’s time you made peace with your family.” At the startled wide eyed look Jonah gave him he smiled. “It’ll be okay. You’re family deserves to know you’re alright.”

“We can’t afford this” he protested shaking his head trying to push the tickets away from him.

“You need to go home. You’re parents have worried long enough.” Pushing the tickets in his hands he added “it’s time Eli met his father.”

“What if they don’t want to see me” his lips trembled. “You saw what happened with Jayden. I can’t.” He tried to run from the room knocking the chair over in his haste to escape.

Cory blocked his path standing like an immovable object. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’ll only be a phone call away if things go sideways.”

“Come with me” he suggested as Cory wrapped him in his arms.

“We can’t afford that” he pushed Jonah’s shaggy blonde hair back. “You need to do this. I know you’re scared but you’ll never be able to move forward if your too afraid of the past.”

“When do I go” he asked resigning himself to the inevitable. Once again he felt his life was taking an unexpected turn.

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[dandylion240]

“Dadda” Eli patted his dad’s head his green eyes looking up as Cory knelt beside them on the floor. “Dadda sad.”

“I know” he had tried to get Jonah to look at him and when he did he didn’t like the vacant far away look in his eyes. “Courtney” he called “come and take Eli for a while.”

Recognizing the tone she did as she was told without question. She took Eli from Jonah’s arms. “No” the little boy protested struggling in her arms.

“Shh” she kissed his cheeks “your dad’s not feeling well.”

When they were alone Cory gathered Jonah into his arms. Jonah immediately curled into him shivering. “They hate me” he mumbled over and over again.

“No they don’t” he whispered moving so that Jonah was in his lap as they sat on the floor.

“Your brother cares about you or he wouldn’t have gone through the trouble to come here.”

A shudder ran through him. “I don’t want him to come.”

“Your brother” he asked confused.

“No…him…”

“Eli’s father?”

Jonah’s head bobbed up and down on Cory’s chest. “he didn’t want me to have Eli.”

“Oh” his heart beat fast. He once was in that position when Courtney’s mother told him she was pregnant. “I remember feeling the same when I found out about Courtney. It was a panic response. We had been so young.”

Stirring in his arms “what made you change your mind?”

“Hearing her heartbeat for the first time.” A soft smile transformed his face “I hadn’t wanted to go but Chandra made me. I remember standing in the room and this whooshing sound filled it. It was” sighing he shook his head “it was unbelievable. I’ll never forget it.”

“Do you think he would feel differently now than he did then” he asked tilting his chin up to look at him.

“I don’t know. He might” he cupped Jonah’s face in his hands “the question is. Do you want him in your lives?”

He tried to pull away but Cory wouldn’t let him. “I don’t know” he murmured looking conflicted.

“Do you still love him” he asked. The words tasted bitter in his mouth. Jonah’s silence spoke more than words. “Then you owe it to yourself to find out” he said firmly shoving his own feelings aside.

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[dandylion240]

Looking around the drab hallway wrinkling his nose Jayden asked “are you sure this is the address?”

“Positive” he held the paper he’d written the address on. “Check it for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

“It’s just” sighing he didn’t know what he expected. Whatever it was it wasn’t this dismal apartment building. Raising his hand he knocked on the door. They waited a minute before knocking again.

“Excuse me” a young girl said behind them “can I help you?”

“I’m looking for my brother, Jonah Reagan” pointing towards the door. “Does he live here?”

Giving him a cautious look she opened the door “wait here.”

They exchanged looks “girlfriend” Evan asked.

Shrugging Jayden shook his head “don’t know.”

Closing the door in their faces Courtney called out “Jonah are you here? Dad? Anyone?”

“In here” Jonah called coming out of Eli’s room.

“There’s a couple of guys asking for you” she nodded towards the door putting her book bag down. “One of them says he’s your brother.”

“How did they find me” he whispered staring at the door.

“Huh? Did you say something” she asked looking up from the book she was reading.

“No” he shook his head wishing that Cory was there.

Shrugging Courtney went back to her book.

Bouncing his son on his hip making up his mind. He stepped into the hall coming face to face with his twin for the second time that day. A feeling of familiarity and longing washed through him. It was like he’d been missing a piece of himself he hadn’t known was missing. “What do you want” he asked holding his son close.

“Is that…”Evan reached a hand towards the toddler in Jonah’s arms.

“Yeah” he eyed the man that was identical to the man he once loved whole heartedly. Warily he let Evan take Eli from him. With his arms empty he crossed them in front of him.

Jayden stared at him. Muscles working along his jawline. “I’m sorry” he blurted “I should have tried to be more understanding.”

Blinking Jonah felt his eyes tingle “I’ve missed you.” There was so much he wanted to say and so much he couldn’t.

“Me too” Jayden closed the gap between them throwing his arms around his brother. His twin. It felt like two halves becoming a whole again.

“Daddy” Eli pointed at an older man exiting from the elevator.

Jonah’s mouth dropped open. It was the first time Eli had ever called Cory daddy and it had to be now. Clearing his throat he held a hand out towards Cory “I want you to meet some people, Jayden and his boyfriend Evan.”

“Fiance” Jayden corrected after a moment of stunned silence.

Cory on his part stared at the two strangers on his doorstep. “I forgot my wallet” he explained “I’ll order in for delivery.” His eyes watched Jonah carefully looking for clues as to how he was coping with their unexpected visitors.

Turning to the couple “would you like to join us for supper?”

Jayden looked to Evan who nodded. “We need to talk” he said implying they would stay.

“Is that alright with you” Jonah asked nibbling on his bottom lip.

“If that’s what you want” Cory said putting a protective arm around him. “If you’re uncomfortable you don’t have to do this.”

Jayden opened his mouth to protest but the pressure on his shoulder where Evan had put his hand was enough of a warning to restrain him. Instead he glared at Cory who seemed to know his brother better than he did.

Breaking eye contact Jonah nodded “I want to do this.”

“You’re sure?”

Straightening his shoulders he nodded “you’ve told me one day I’d have to face my past. I guess today is that day.”

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