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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 6 years ago

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Madness | Chpt. 6

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Collateral Damage”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 4,786

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, Angry!Eva, violence, Angry!Loki

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

A/N: I want to take a moment to apologize for my absence. I’ve had some health problems recently, and within the last couple of weeks, I’ve lost entire days thanks to said problems. I’m finally feeling well enough again to post, but during my time being sick, I’ve managed to come up with quite a bit of content. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I’m writing. Even if not every chapter is you cup of tea, it means a lot to see that people are leaving likes, messaging me, reblogging, etc.! Please note that I have taken and will be taking a lot of creative liberties pertaining to these characters. This will be shown in excess during the upcoming chapters, so I just wanted to give a bit of a warning. There are some timeline changes, character changes, etc. Once again, thank you so much for reading. I love you all <3

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

“Looks like you lost,” I dictated as I dragged him down the stairs to the dungeons. My entire body felt like it was on fire, but it didn’t stop the shiver from running down my spine at the thought of what he was capable of. Ezra showed us something none of us could’ve expected. He was skilled in ways that we were unprepared for, ways I didn’t even know could exist. I still trembled at the thought of my slain comrades-members of Odin’s kingsguard-rising and fighting against us. The more people of ours Ezra killed, the more people he had fighting for him. The battle was unfair and horrific, but we still won even after members of the kingsguard forced Odin away from the situation. Ezra had surrendered after we had gotten him onto his knees. My sword had been pressed against his throat, and all I needed to do was give it one swift motion to kill him. I couldn’t, though.

There was something that kept me from killing him, but I had no idea what it was. Maybe it was the familiarity in those green eyes or the endless knowledge he seemed to have about me. Still, my decision to keep him alive could be useful in the future of Asgard. He was another enemy who would be a prisoner in the dungeons, a man we could retrieve information from. He snickered at me, “you may have won, but what did it cost you?” he asked, glancing down at the wound on my abdomen.

I ignored his comment, feeling the pain radiating from the wound. During the battle, he had taken a swing at Ephinea, a blow I did my best to protect her from. I had pushed her back and tried to put as much distance between him and I as possible, but it wasn’t enough. My sword blocked his axe, and while I struggled to disarm him, I was unaware of the dagger he pulled out until he buried it in my abdomen. The dagger cut right through my training armor-which had not been suitable for battle-and pierced into my flesh. I had not yet seen it, but a piece of me was convinced it was nothing while the rational part of myself was sure it was something much more than I was prepared to deal with. If I could still walk, I was fine.

Behind Ezra and I were the remaining members of the kingsguard who did not sustain significant injuries as well along with Ephinea, Sif, and the warriors three. Thor had taken to the throne room with his father to discuss what would come next. Everyone in the dungeons was silent when they saw the crowd of warriors that it took to secure the newest prisoner. They watched us in a stunned silence, including Loki. I avoided all eye contact with the God of Mischief, still hurt by his actions an entire week ago. While I wished for an empty cell anywhere else in the dungeons, the only free one was directly across from Loki’s, which would undoubtedly cause me to worry much more than I should have. The cells were practically impenetrable, and even if Ezra managed to break free of his cell, there would be no real reason for him to go after Loki.

As we stood in front of his cell, he turned to face me as I spoke, “this is gonna be your new home. I don’t know where you came from or what you knew before this, but you won’t be going back there anytime soon. You said you haven’t seen a sunrise for more than 300 years?” I asked, and he nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips in anticipation for what I was about to say, “well, be prepared to wait another 300 because you aren’t getting out of here for a long time,” I growled, glaring up at him and his apathetic expression. It was as if he had no remorse at all for the lives he had taken, like the entire battle before this meant nothing to him. His reaction was sickening.

He cocked one of his thick eyebrows, “you have a fire within you that you try to ignore, pet, but you can’t hide it from me,” he replied before lunging forward and attacking my lips with his. It shocked me at first, but I leaned into it after a moment, realizing that I could use it to my advantage. Everyone around us who was there to ensure his safe transportation to his cell was left in shock, but they always knew that I had a plan. My lips molded together with his thick ones, and while I was disgusted to be kissing the man who just killed so many of my people, I knew that this was going to work out in my favor. While Ezra was distracted by the kiss, I eased one of my daggers from its sheath at my side and reached behind him before sinking it into his lower back.

He sucked in a sharp breath, disconnecting our lips. His face distorted in pain, and his chest rumbled as I pulled the dagger from his body, twisting it in the process. Once it was out, I dropped it on the ground behind him and reached into the small pouch on my belt to pull out one of the tracking devices I always carried with me. In one swift motion, I shoved two of my fingers into the wound to deposit the tracking device as deeply as possible. He grunted and twisted to break free of my grasp, but I would not release him. I released the tracking device once I was sure it was embedded deep enough that he could not feel it and dig it out on his own. When I finally removed my fingers, I rested my hand against his wound and focused all of my energy on transferring it over to myself. That was the one downfall of my healing power. I was unable to heal someone without transferring their wounds onto myself. While he was not worthy of my help, I couldn’t leave the wound open for fear that he would just pull the device out. Now, it he wanted to take it out, he would have to cut himself open and dig for it.

As the wound transferred to myself, I gritted my teeth, but nothing could compare to the wound on my abdomen. It was like if one had been stabbed by Surtur himself, a scraped knee could never compare to it, so the pain was far more tolerable. Once I finished healing his wound, I glared up at him, “you’re going to have a lot of time to think while you’re down here, and that’s all you get to do. If you move, I’ll know about it. If you speak, I’ll know about it. If you have any thoughts about breaking out of your cell, I will know about it. I didn’t kill you today because I believe in second chances. If you fail to cooperate or if you become a threat to anyone I know or love, I will not hesitate to kill you,” I growled at him.

He nodded his head, “my execution would be against the Allfather’s wishes. It’s a beautiful sentiment-it truly is-but...tell me, pet, how will you protect the two people you love most when one is here and one is on Midgard?” he asked, referencing her once more.

My eyes widened, and he smirked at the look of dread that was clear on my face. I saw my reflection in his eyes and saw a girl who had everything to lose, someone who had lost so much already. As my protective instincts kicked in, I grew furious that he even put their safety in question. I pulled my fist back and landed a hard punch against his cheek. When his head snapped to the side to accommodate the blow, I swiped his feet out from under him to bring him down to the ground. As he caught himself on his knees, I pulled out my other dagger and pressed it against his throat with one hand while I grabbed a fistful of his hair with the other. I squatted down to be at his level, “say it again,” I growled.

He smirked, “and what if I did? What if I threatened them again?” he asked, challenging me, “would you kill me, an unarmed man on his knees? Would you take my life the same way your enemies took your friends life on Vanaheim? You and I both know that you don’t have what it takes,” he hissed, bringing up Hjalmar. My chest tightened, “the only way to save the ones you love so dearly is to accept your destiny, to accept what you’re truly meant to be.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “and what is that?”

“A god,” he answered with a smile as he leaned into my blade against his throat, “just like me.”

I shook my head, my entire body trembling as anger and rage built up in my chest, “I am nothing like you,” I growled, furious that he would even try to compare the two of us. He fought and killed so many of my people and raised them back to be monsters. What was it for? I only fought when it needed to be done. I didn’t seek out confrontation. I fought, and even killed, the few who put the lives of the many at stake, and it always sat with me. The eyes of my victims never left my mind, for I was aware that I had taken someone’s loved one away from them. Ezra showed in the short time I knew him that he was nothing like that. He killed without remorse, and I saw no conflict in his eyes once it was over. We were nothing alike.

He chuckled, “that’s where you’re wrong, pet. You and I are more alike than you know, and that’s how I know, without the shadow of a doubt, that you’ll lose both of them in time,” he said, and my heart felt like it would fall through the floor. How did he know all of my deepest and darkest fears? That was always the one thing that scared me the most: losing the ones I loved. Of course, it was the fear of so many people, but he was able to pull up the two people I cared for more than anything else and use their safety against me, “it’s in your nature. You’ll always lose,” he added.

My chest rose and fell as I struggled to find air. It felt like his threats were taking the air from my lungs, and I felt like I would suffocate. I saw how big a threat he was, but we managed to bring him down together. I didn’t want to imagine what Cul’s entire army could do. Everything had been thrown at us so quickly, as we had no knowledge of who Cul was or that Odin even had an older brother at all. Everything that happened that day just made me feel uncertain of everything. Still, I couldn’t show Ezra that, “and what about you? You’re the man who kneels before me with my dagger against his throat. You lost,” I hissed.

“You’ll need me soon enough,” he remarked, gesturing down to the stab wound on my abdomen that throbbed with a pain I never experienced before. The wound hurt badly enough that it felt like I would be sick from the pain. I had been stabbed before, and the wounds never felt quite like that. Perhaps, it had just been too long, and I forgot the sensation. I shook the thoughts from my mind and focused on him once more as he continued, “and the moment you come to me, begging for my help, is the moment when you’ll finally realize that you are the one who has lost,” he sneered, his eyes cutting right through me. It was like he could see every weakness and insecurity I had.

“If you or anyone else tries hurt the people I care for, you won’t be able to find shelter from the storm I unleash. You don’t want to make me an enemy,” I threatened him.

He shook his head as if he was disappointed in me, and I furrowed my eyebrows. When his eyes finally met mine once more, he snickered to himself, “you speak like a warrior, but there is no true weight in your words. I know-as well as you do-that you would never pose a threat to the one thing you believe in more than anything else: Life. That’s why I know you won’t kill me. I’m not afraid of you,” he stated, nonchalantly as he leaned into the blade, hard enough to draw blood.

I stood up, sheathing my dagger, before pulling him up onto his feet. He stood much taller than me, but I didn’t feel small in that moment. Even though I was insecure about what would come next, I couldn’t show my fears to the man who was threatening the lives of the people I loved. I needed to be strong, or he would take advantage of my weaknesses. I grabbed a fistfull of his hair and pulled his head down to mine, maintaining eye contact the entire time, “you aren’t afraid of me,” I hissed before leaning in to his ear, “but you should be,” I whispered the line I had been told only once before. It had shaken me to the very core when it was said to me, but I felt powerful now that I was on the other end. My voice was low enough so that only he could hear me, and once I finished, I pulled away from him and shoved him into his cell. Ephinea activated the cell wall before he was even able to regain his balance. I couldn’t help the smile as I watched him struggle to not fall onto his face, but the sharp pain in my abdomen cut that short.

Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, I turned to face the members of the Kingsguard. They were some of the most well-trained warriors Asgard had to offer, so much so that they were trusted with protecting the Allfather himself. The kingsguard lined the halls of the palace at all times of the day and night, and they stood guard over the dungeons as well. I picked up my blood-covered dagger that I had dropped on the floor moments prior and lowered it back into its sheath. I pointed over at Ezra but stayed focused on the warriors before me, “I want two guards posted outside his cell every second of every day. I never want him left unsupervised, and if he is, you’re going to wish that you experienced the Allfather’s wrath instead of mine,” I threatened, feeling my unchecked fury rising further and further in my chest. I surprised myself at the harsh tone of my voice, but I didn’t change it, “if he shows any signs of agitation, I want to know about it. If he takes one step out of line, I want to know about it. If he breathes offbeat, I want to know about it. I want every detail of his existence to be monitored while he’s down here. I want nothing to go unnoticed. If he speaks out of line, I want to know what he said and when he said it. Do you understand?”

I saw the startled expression on every face of the men before me. I had always been known for my calm and collected nature, and the only time I ever broke away from that was when I was in battle. Even then, I had never been so ruthless, especially never with them. They all nodded in agreement to my orders, but one of the guards stepped forward, his eyes just as confused as the rest, “I mean you no offense when I ask this, but...what would you do about it, my lady?”

As I brushed past all of them, needing to take my place with Thor and Odin to discuss our next moves, I answered his question, “I’ll kill him.”

Before I could make it very far at all, Ezra yelled after me, “good luck, pet. I take pity on you for what is about to come,” he shouted, that booming voice echoing throughout the silent dungeons. It was as if every prisoner stood completely still as I walked by-all but one. As I walked past Loki’s cell, I stared straight ahead, refusing to even look his way, still hurt by what transpired between us a week prior. It broke my heart to ignore him that way, but I had to focus on the safety of the Nine Realms. A piece of it was also to protect him. If there was a chance I could convince Ezra that I no longer cared for Loki, that Loki wasn’t a weakness of mine that he could exploit, I was going to take it. It was the best way to protect Loki at that point.

As I walked past his cell, he banged on the wall, yelling my name and trying to attract my attention, but I still didn’t give in. I blinked away the tears in my eyes, my heart shattering as I had to look the other way once more. I did that before, and I couldn’t believe I was doing it again. I was still hurt and angry at him for what he said when I visited him that night, but I could never stay mad at him for too long, not over trivial things like that. Even as I ascended the stairs, I could still hear his pained voice calling my name. My ears began ringing, and the world around me seemed unsteady. When I reached the last few stairs, the wound on my abdomen sent a piercing pain through my entire body, and I jolted forward to accommodate the sudden and intense pain. If Loki had seen me fall as I had in that moment, he would’ve laughed at me before falling down with me, not wanting me to feel isolation and embarrassment. I coughed, and the fleeting thoughts of my love were pushed to the side as I tasted the blood in my mouth. I swallowed it back just as the guards ran over to me to help me up, just like Loki would have done.

*Loki’s POV*

I felt the immeasurable pain that she was experiencing, and I couldn’t help but feel like there was something seriously wrong. That was one of the things that never stopped for me, no matter how deep my madness became. She was still there, an untouched and untainted beauty among the raging wildfire that was my mind. I could always feel her pain, her suffering, her joy, and her love. I could feel every emotion and every ounce of physical pain, which Thanos used to his advantage. While it killed me inside to know that she was hurting, it let me know that she was still alive, wherever she was. This sensation was something new, though. I could barely stand due to the pain in my abdomen. Even when she had transferred his wound onto herself, it couldn’t hold a candle to the pain I began experiencing no long before.

Everyone began filing out of the dungeons aside from the two guards Eva demanded always stand watch over the new prisoner. I had never seen Eva deal with anyone quite like that, but he must’ve made her feel something otherworldly to pull out that side of her. Watching it was exhilarating in a way that I never would’ve expected. I could feel the anger and pain coursing through her veins every moment she stood before him, but I could also feel her conflict. When he mentioned two people-one here and one on Midgard-I found myself trying to piece together who it could be. Perhaps he was speaking about Aaldir or Thor. I was certain she cared little for me after what I did the last time we saw each other. The unnamed person on Earth was what I tried to piece together first, though. Was it Tony Stark? I noticed that the two of them had quite the connection when I was around them on Midgard. What if it was the Soldier? The two of them shared similar beliefs, and he had protected her from near death quite a few times.

When another piercing pain erupted in my abdomen, I gritted my teeth and grunted, reaching for the tender spot. As I tried to breathe through the pain, I heard his laughter from the cell diagonal to mine, “you must be Loki!” he smiled, amused at my pain. I knew that madness well, well enough to know that it was not all his own. Someone had taken advantage of a weakness and used it against him. A small part of me felt empathy for him, but I couldn’t help but think of how he must’ve hurt Eva. As I glared up at him, he cocked his head to the side, “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m a pretty big fan because of what you did on Midgard-you know, attempting to kill everyone who wouldn’t blindly follow your rule. I have to say that it was a bold move for the unloved son of a false king,” he barked before taking a deep breath and calming his nerves, “I’m Ezra Culson, the new bane of Eva’s existence. You’ve been replaced.”

“What did you do to her?” I yelled, anxious to know what had transpired to bring about a pain like this. Before Ezra pointed out the wound on her abdomen, it was barely noticeable, especially since she showed little signs of discomfort while she was in the dungeons. Still, shortly before she came down to the dungeons, I had felt the intense pain, and I knew she had been stabbed. This sensation, however, was so different than before. When we were on Midgard, I...she had been stabbed. That was nothing like this. I grunted as I stood up straight, trying to ignore the burning sensation.

Ezra shook his head, a hint of guilt in his eyes that didn’t seem completely genuine, “I didn’t come here to fight-not today, anyway-but when Odin refused to my terms and your brother refused my offer to take Eva off your hands, I had no choice. She got in the way,” he said, nonchalantly as he shrugged it off like it was nothing. Even the guards outside of his cell were disturbed. Everyone in Asgard knew Eva, and everyone knew that she was the embodiment of all that was good and light in this world. Ezra acted as if his action of attacking her was nothing serious, like attacking her wasn’t like he was attacking the very fabric of life itself. During my stunned silence, he continued to speak, “let’s just say that you’re not the only one who has it out for Odin.”

“I couldn’t care less about him. You hurt her!” I snapped, slamming my fist against the cell wall and startling the guards and the other prisoners within the dungeons. Ezra would have a hard time in the dungeons because no matter how much the other prisoners hated Odin and Asgard, they could not bring themselves to even speak unkindly of Eva. The longer the prisoners stayed in the dungeons, the more they grew accustomed to her singing, and because Eva showed the planet so much love and kindness, everyone who resided here could feel her energy coursing through them. Her connection to the world and life was incredible. As my chest tightened, I glared at him, “you hurt her, and I’m going to kill you for that,” I growled in a low voice.

He shrugged it off again, “collateral damage,” he remarked, “it’s nothing that can’t be undone. When she gives in and leaves with me, which she will, I’ll heal her, and we’ll be on our way.”

“She’s not going anywhere with you!” I yelled once more, realizing that he was doing exactly what he wanted to do, and I was allowing it to happen. He was crawling right under my skin, and I couldn’t stop it. It was like Thanos all over again. Ezra just knew my weakness, and he was going to exploit it. He would try to break me, but I wouldn’t lose Eva again, and that was what kept me from falling back into the comfort of my own darkness.

He chuckled, “I have a better claim to her even as an outsider, or did you forget?” he asked, and my eyes widened as it felt like my chest would completely cave in. He couldn’t have been referencing that moment, but it wouldn’t surprise me with all that he knew about Eva and myself. A part of me wished to know where he acquired this information, but the part that took hold of me in that moment was still the nervous and insecure man I was before I fell from the Bifrost, before I pushed Eva out of my life, before I realized that I would never truly be my father’s son. I could still remember Odin’s words as if our conversation was happening that very moment:

“A girl who could pass as a princess even without a prince would be better suited for Thor, and I will not entertain these childish games any longer!”

It was the first moment in my life that I felt utterly hopeless. All that I had done up until that moment seemed like it was in vain. I had loved Eva, and she loved me. When she forced me to relive that memory in the dream, I couldn’t help but associate it with the conversation that followed with my father. He had been the one to pull me from our beautiful moment, our last beautiful moment. Our conversation was meant to open the doors for millions of other beautiful moments, but he slammed those doors in my face, telling me that I would never be worthy enough for Eva, that she was being saved for Thor. It was the beginning of my downfall, and she was the one who was hurt most from it.

While my chest heaved, I imagined ripping his tongue from his throat. I imagined slitting his throat open while he spoke of how Eva was nothing more than “collateral damage.” I imagined his blood on my hands as I tore him apart for what he did to her and for what he tried to do to me. I knew that all he had to do was exploit my weakness, and he would be able to turn me against her. Something in me was broken, and he wanted to toy around with it, “speak one more word, and you’ll wish for death when you see what I do to you,” I threatened, narrowing my eyes at him and realizing just how familiar they looked, like I had seen them a thousand times before. Green...like the color of spring.

He chuckled, sitting on the floor and tucking his legs under himself. It seemed as if he would let my comment roll off his back, but that was the opposite of what he did. Instead, he brought up the one thing I cared about more than anything else. Eva. He grinned, madness in his eyes, “threaten me again, and you’ll wish for death when you see what I do to her.”

Without warning, my mind felt like it was being torn apart, like the broken edges were being chipped away at. As I fell to the floor in a massive pain radiating from the ghost wound on my abdomen and the sudden and intense pain in my own mind, I gritted my teeth and groaned loudly. I could remember her eyes that day, the day I hurt her more than I could ever forgive myself for. I had expected her to look at me like I was a monster, like I was her enemy. However, she didn’t. She spoke my name with fear in her eyes and sorrow in her voice. It was my first moment of clarity in so long, but it was also my greatest moment of weakness and tragedy because I hurt the one thing I wished to protect: my friend, my princess, my love.

My Eva.

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moth208 · 7 years ago

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re: drama with comet-of-sin and buttonprince- a comprehensive compilation

EDIT: buttons urls are now @xbuttonprince (art blog) and @fedora-cat (main blog) buttons main blog is @buttonprince again. they still have fedora-cat though.

EDIT: july 4 moon changed his url to @comet-of-sin-gone. as of july 12 its been changed again to @people-eating-bed-gremlin

EDIT: july 21 gumwindow is alive and has kept their blog set up to where it looked as if they were dead for an extended period of time. when called on it they are saying im stalking them and that i “wish they were dead”. (ctrl + f to EDIT 8) (i also added proof that was nebula said was said in a public server.)

this is a record of everything that has happened between me, moon(comet-of-sin), button(buttonprince), nebula(gumwindow), hayden(erezar-zaral-rezanova), and their friends, et cetera. you can reblog this if you choose, or dont, i dont care.

if anyone wants to accuse me of “hiding information” youre welcome to post whatever fucking information im “hiding”! :) what i post is everything that is shown to me that is relevant. i have literally nothing to hide, as im not fucking ashamed of spreading awareness about, blocking, and avoiding transphobes and racists. especially the ones that misgender me and call me slurs.

tw for slurs under the cut; this post is VERY LONG.

preface: for the most part this is in the chronological order that i learned the information in.

THE ORIGINAL POST:

so all of this started when i checked out button’s main blog after seeing their ask blog in the (starbound) tag- i checked their about because i check the abouts of everyone i follow. after i saw some things listed on their about as dislikes i got pretty uncomfortable. i made this post:

(link to the post)

you can clearly say the post says “dont reblog this”- the original post said this in the tags. i editted it so that it was clearly on the actual post itself. i reblogged it to the sunrunnercrew blog with the captain “DO NOT REBLOG THIS” in caps. this post was aimed specifically at my mutuals, mostly, an my followers. whether or not you agree with me making the post does not excuse any of what happened next.

THE IMS:

the tumblr ims, aka the calm before the storm. buttonprince apparently followed the sunrunnercrew blog and im’d me about it- which you know what? fair. they did not bother to explain their “opinions”, in case i had misunderstood them (which i doubt), and instead went on tangents about how “opinions dont hurt anyone”

i do not have access to the full conversation because the blog has since become a group blog with more than one member, and button dosent have access to the ims either because they blocked the sunrunnercrew blog.

i do have these screenshots which i admit make it look one sided. you can take a look at them in this imgur album (x)

note: they blocked my sideblog. i had assumed they blocked my main, so in future asks when i say “they blocked me” i did not actually know they hadn’t blocked my main (which they admit later on).

i also had im conversations with 2 other people who had reblogged the original post, but i blocked them because i was receiving copious amounts of hate after the buttonprince im conversation!

THE ASKS:

during the time after i messaged buttonprince i several hate messages of varying degrees of dumbassery and actual hate-level, ranging from being passive aggressive about how i “couldve been nicer” to slurs that were specifically listed on my blacklist after i mentioned my blacklist. these arent in chronological order, my archive is sort of hard to navigate when posts are this close together.

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x*) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

*at this point i thought it was either button or one of the people who was also currently iming me at this point. i now suspect moon and button were probably talking about me in their discord server when all these messages were sent.

asks i didnt post:

note: some of mutuals also received asks similar to these but im not going to draw them into this any further.

they also answered this ask about me. this is when i stopped checking their blog completely until the recent drama (last night- 1/19/18 & 1/20/18)

note: the “shota” they drew was not “years ago” it was december 2016- just over A YEAR ago. granted if i wouldve known this i wouldve never posted it but they just straight up defended themself drawing it anyway after it was pointed out.

MOONS INVOLVEMENT:

so this is where everything gets really and truly fucked up. moon had defended/promo’d buttonprince after the whole drama, which in itself is fine and all i didnt care. but then they messaged one of my friends with the intent of getting them to stop talking to me or look down on me. they told him something that was the most absurd fucking jump to conclusions ive ever seen, and no matter how much they say they “never said the person was actually me” i cannot for the life of me fathom why theyd mention it in the first place if it wasnt to paint me as the assailant or directly responsible (which is ironic because they never wanted to take responsibility for the shit i received when they were talking about in their server!)

this is what they sent to my friend:

they also sent him this to show him the person who spammed their server:

(fullview)

i am not affiliated with this person at all and this assumption is fucking rediculous considering i was informed of the server they were talking about me in by another mutual of mine- before this i never even knew the server EXISTED.

this is my discord:

now of course when i learned all of this i was absolutely furious. one of my friends offered to join the server and see what they were talking about me. im going to be absolutely honest and say i was APALLED at the sheer AMOUNT of SHIT they said about me behind my back. things started falling into place- THIS was why i was getting all this hate. because moon opened this drama up into their incredibly popular public fucking server.

im not going to post every little screenshot because, like i said, the sheer amount is absolutely absurd. theres three imgur albums worth of screenshots of shit they said about me that you can sort through, that will be linked at the end of the screens, if youre interested in sifting through it all. heres some hi-lights:

(fullview)

(i.e. they wanted to check my blog constantly to continue drama by posting it in their server.)

(fullview)

hint: talking about someone starting drama constantly is not the best way to keep yourself under the radar!

(fullview) admitting they dont have my main blog blocked

(fullview)

(fullview) admitting they dont give a shit i was recieving hate and shit on my blacklist

(fullview)

moon admitting to messaging one of my mutuals (not that they HAD to admit it lmfao)

its about you because you dragged my friends into it.

(fullview) checking up on my blog constantly. they messaged me right after i started posting about this. ill link my actual posts in the next part, when they actually talked to me. this ones just about whats been said in the discord

(fullview)

(fullview) moon screenshotting themselve saying the “go ahead and post this” shit. (they then preceded to get mad i actually posted shit lmfao). this is another thing ill talk about in the next part.

(fullview) bragging about not getting anon hate but laughing because i did. classy. also “this is why i started unbound-stars” what to stroke your ego and talk about drama that had nothing to do with you?

(fullview) button misgendering me and no one correcting it. i know they knew i was trans, everyone in that server knew i was trans, because they called me a disgrace to and “not an example of the entire trans community”. my pronouns are in my description. they checked up on my blog enough times to know this. if were going to be technical them using they/them for me constantly is also misgendering since my pronouns are clearly right fucking there in my description but you know what ill let that slide. but this? button used gender neutral pronouns for me before what suddenly made it ok to misgender me here?

they never apologized for this and instead blamed them misgendering me on my own self. ill mention this in the next part as well.

(fullview) button admitting it was one of their fucking friends who sent me atleast one of the asks with slurs in them.

this isnt even half of what they said about me in their server. you can check out the full imgur albums here: (x) (x) (x)

MOONS INVOLVEMENT PART 2:

as previously mentioned i made some vague posts after i figured out moon had messaged one of my friends:

(link to post)

i did not mention moons name or url here. they only knew it was about them from checking my blog themself.

(link to post)

moon then messaged me themself.

they sent me this ask after their first one. i didnt save a pic of my response to this one but im sure they posted it in the discord server if you are really and truly curious.

now lets break this down: “none of those hate messages were from me nor my followers. i hope.” is such a weak excuse. they posted all of this bullshit in their discord server of 80 people, something they said themself (again, screenshots of that in a second) and literally liveblogged it to them there. this is a bold-faced lie and a piss poor job of covering their tracks and trying to place nice with me.

anyway i messaged them on im because its easier and talking through asks takes longer + ask limit, etc. i have an imgur album of screenshots of every thing we BOTH said. im not going to bother posting hi-lights here. itd do you better to read the entire conversation than to look at things out of context. (x)

AFTER MOONS ASKS:

i @’d button in a post pointing out that they misgendered me. yes. i admit it! i @’d button. they couldve avoided that if they had me blocked in the first place, but they didnt “to keep up with drama”

and anyway i think pointing out that someone deliberately misgendered me is a fair fucking reason to @ them no? well see i would not have included this at all if button had just, you know, apologized for misgendering me! mistakes happen after all but this wasnt a fucking mistake. my pronouns are clearly listed in my description- obviously they had been checking my blog consistantly enough to see everything i posted, there is absolutely no fucking way they didnt see my pronouns.

anyway this is how they responded:

CONTINUING to misgender me and then blaming me for it! classy

anyway heres how theyre handling the drama now 8)

thats all. this post will be updated with new information if need be. this post was made 1/20/2018

EDIT 2: ive decided fuck it. heres the rest of what was in the #drama chat that was “private”

ok im sorry this ones just so fucking funny it literally does not mean kill yourself its a dumb funny insult thats harmless ylal are digging too deep to find meaning in shit that has none but whatever

everyone just accepts this at face value...

again everyones just accepting this at face value...

shitting on someone who had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

anyway in moons shitty followup callout they said that i send this persons girlfriend death threats about cookie run. “years ago”. i downloaded the fucking game last fucking month. you can find where i talk about that (here)

moon has refused to take this absolute crock of shit back. at this point its a blatant ass lie.

EDIT 3: definitive proof button is truscum

click here

EDIT 4: february 11 2018 is a cursed date

button reblogged this post from me (^ my version of the post is in edit 3)

of course i said something (click here)

button made this post:

(link to post)

seeing as how they wanted me to respond directly i sure as fuck did!

(it goes from bottom to top in order)

i decided, after a while of no response, to dm them about a screen! well more shit ensued. heres a link to our ENTIRE conversation (considering how i always get bitched out about not posting the WHOLE story 8) !)

@gumwindow nice to know you dont mind transmeds!

EDIT 5 may 13 2018:

https://2o8.tumblr.com/post/173852074905/are-you-okay-what-happened

moon attempted to apologize, but not directly to, or about, me because apparently talking to me is traumatizing lol

EDIT 6 may 26 2018:

zinc threw an absolute fucking fit. it was kinda funny. then they made their blog inactive, turned off @’s, and it can only be viewed through tumblr mobile. lol

heres the links

https://2o8.tumblr.com/post/174275538005/starbounds-gumwindow-a-warning-for-my

https://2o8.tumblr.com/post/174275922575/gumwindow-this-will-be-one-of-my-last-posts

https://2o8.tumblr.com/post/174280354485/starbounds-gumwindow-for-the-others-who-have

EDIT 7:

moon password protected @comet-of-sin, changed his url to @comet-of-sin-gone on july 4th.

posted this. apparnetly his server was raided and he blames it on me because i screened his post where he advertised his shitty server (you know, the SAME ONE he and his friends misgendered me and called me a thing in.)

this is the post i made screenshotting his server advertisement post. (also includes a screen of something he had to say about me and one of my friends a few days before)

him being like “im not the people i associate with” like...bro...lol

hes changed the url of @comet-of-sin-gone to

http://people-eating-bed-gremlin.tumblr.com/

so hes still like, you know, there. lol

also hes still active on his nsfw blog (which, before anyone calls me out for looking. this is the very first post as of the time this update is posted and his nsfw blog is literally linked IN HIS ABOUT.)

im not actually gonna. link the blog bc You Know. its right there in his about though so...go find it yourself.

EDIT 8 7/21/18:

shortly after gumwindow (about a week or two) made the posts linked in edit 6 their accounts were deleted and the urls saved to this:

i have as of july 21st spoken to nebula (gumwindow) myself on discord, and for decency reasons, because the conversation didnt go off horribly, im not going to post screens. plus they arent really necessary and dont give out any new info so. if nebula wants to post screens of the conversation themself theyre free to, i have nothing to hide from that conversation

anyway

theyre fine.

there were alot of inconsistancies with this conversation, mostly excuses about how they didnt know about button, and not knowing that transmed=truscum (???) and that they just werent thinking when making those posts (again linked in edit 6) but its not important enough to add here.

EDIT 9 7/24/2018

im so tired.

saw nebula changed their title to this

so i messaged them about it

they blocked me

now their blog looks like this

im so fucking tired. this is how our discord conversation ended (providing minimal screens bc i dont wanna get yelled at lol)

(fullview)

the day i contacted them on discord they posted in the (again, public) server my friend originally found them in (there were originally images but i am removing them for reasons.) saying i was stalking them or whatever... same issue as always, this is a public server, if i can go in there myself and literally anyone could screenshot stuff then its not...really stalking.

with all that said, everything nebula said here was in a public server that one of my friends was in. and i have no intention on keeping up with anything else they have to say about me. like, im done! im absolutely fucking exhausted i really just wish yall would stop lying about me.

heres proof that the server is public:

inb4 anyone asks why i cropped the url of the server, its because i dont want to get accused of inciting a raid. as far as im aware the person who posted this is the host of this server, and this was the same server nebula posted in. as you can see it is very much public. thanks.

EDIT 10:

EDIT 11: 8/17/18

my friend reblogged this post (the one you are looking at right now) to boost because button started posting in the starbound tag again.

i made this post (click the link)

originally the post said button was cis, this was an assumption i made because in a previous post a while back button had said they dont consider themself trans. i was wrong, i admit it yes i was wrong for assuming button was cis; it is not my place to explain why button said this as it is not my personal life story and i dont care that much however, the point is, button is not cis and i was wrong. my mistake. sorry about that.

here is the post where button confirmed they are not cis, and my apology.

this does not change the fact that button:

1) is a transmed

2) is racist (believes in reverse racism)

3) hates “fat acceptance”

4) misgendered me, called me slurs, and still to this day refuses to apologize for that.

today alot happened. i got alot of anons. mostly hate. heres all the ones i posted (in order):

x 2 asks in one post, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x (not hate), x 2 asks in one post, x also 2 asks in one post, x, x

heres the ones i DIDNT post:

heres button continuing to misgender me even today, after they said they did it ~accidentally~

thats p much all that happened today in relation to this drama, i geuss.

the next day (8/18/18):

x, x, x,

im not bothering censoring this one like whats the point lol

#comet-of-sin #buttonprince #gumwindow #slurs

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