#couldn’t get near it for the life of me 😭😭 finally died after running out of stamina trying to get away from Vee

[notkirbiinut]

Tried knocking out pebble mastery in a solo run only to get annoyed because of Vee in the recent storage/garage layout 😭😭😭

[dragonanon]

Y’all I need Jesus 😭 My mind is running wild with an idea that’s a bit of Hellaverse and One Piece crossover.

——

As a succubus working under Asmodeus, your job is to basically portal up to the human world and spread lust amongst the humans. You’re damn good at your job as evidenced by the fact that your numbers always exceed the minimum quota you’re given, so as one of the top employees you have the privilege of getting to be much closer with Asmodeus and Fizzaroli than most other demons working for them; they’re honestly more like father figures to you rather than your superiors, and you welcome being their lowkey unofficially adopted daughter.

Between your excellent work performance and the love and support of your unofficial dads, life is pretty damn easy and straightforward for you…until it isn’t.

You don’t know how the hell it happened, you had been in human disguise on Earth and drumming up some nice lust in a small village, literally just doing you job as normal. Your markvictim, a slim blond with facial hair, had been one of the EASIEST people to ensnare in a long time. You barely had to say “hello” before the man already had hearts in his eyes and was practically falling at your feet, and when you invited him to go someplace private for a bit of “fun”, he damn near died on the spot due to blood loss from a massive nosebleed. Needless to say, you quickly had him in bed and oozing with yummy lust for you.

From there it all happened so fast(let’s be real here, it was probably Luffy’s fault lol), one thing led to another and after a series of shenanigans, your true form and identity are revealed to a group of humans, a group of pirates to be exact…Sure you knew that taking such an easy target would have SOME consequence, but fuck man!

Now standing before the “straw hat pirates”, as they call themselves, in your true demonic form with horns, wings, and tail all out for the whole world to see, you’re stared at in a cocktail mixture of awe, fear, and curiosity by all these humans. With the uncomfortable silence hanging in the air, you feel more naked and vulnerable than you ever have been in your entire life. And as a succubus, that’s saying quite a lot!

You’re in quite the predicament here, and your fear only grows as you realize just how completely and utterly fucked you are here. You can’t just fuck off back to Hell when there’s a whole gaggle of humans running around that now knows about the existence of Demons and Hell, but you can’t exactly kill any of them either. Not just because you’re SEVERELY outnumbered, but you’d ALSO get into some pretty deep shit with your dads.

So that leaves you with one option, offer a deal and hope to Lucifer that they accept. With that plan in mind, a green haired man you’d later come to know as “Zoro”, FINALLY breaks the agonizing silence with a simple question; “What the fuck are you?” and with that, you get to work setting this admittedly ridiculous plan into motion.

As calmly as you can, you explain that you’re a succubus; a demon from Hell just here to do her job of getting people to be horny on main. From there, you explain the predicament you’re all in right now, how you can’t just leave them to their devices because they all know, and have seen too much now. They all seem to tense for a moment as one of them, a man with a long nose who you’d later know as “Usopp”, asks in a shaky voice if you’re going to kill them now. They all breathe a sigh of relief and Usopp actually sobs when you clarify that no, that’s not happening. “I couldn’t kill you all even if I wanted to. Not only do you have me completely outnumbered, but even if I did succeed somehow, it would land me in MAJOR hot water with my bosses. So yeah, I’m not doing that.”

A red headed woman who later introduced herself as “Nami”, responds by asking what it is you plan to do then. This whole time, you’ve noticed that she’s been eyeing the hell out of your Asmodean crystal; a huge magenta jewel set in the center of a beautiful golden cuff that encases nearly half of your left forearm. It was a gift from Asmodeus himself on your first day of work, and it hasn’t left your arm since. You know damn well what the glint of greed in one’s eyes looks like, and you’re all too happy to use that to your advantage.

“Well, given that I can’t leave you all alone and death isn’t an option, I’d like to make a proposal; You all keep your mouths shut about what you’ve seen and learned, and let me continue my work as needed and in peace. You’re not to utter even a peep to another soul not already in this room. In exchange…You’ll have a succubus eternally at your service~”

This prompts the captain who you’ve been told is named “Luffy”, an admittedly boyishly cute man in your humble opinion, to speak up and ask what exactly you mean. Up to this point, he’d just been staring at you in slack jawed awe, but your proposal seemed to bring him back to reality and now he had to sate his growing curiosity and excitement.

A playful smirk paints itself on your black lips as you begin to elaborate, your fangs poking out ever so slightly as you speak. “Well hon, being a succubus, I have MANY powers at my disposal~ You’ve already seen that I can disguise myself as one of you humans, AND charm my way into getting whatever I want from humans. But that’s BARELY scratching the surface of what I’m capable of~ For starters, I can change my disguise as I see fit, what you all saw was just one of the millions of different appearances I can take.” To back up this claim, you quickly cycle through a few different human disguises you’ve used throughout the years; completely changing your form into at least 12 completely different women of all different shapes, sizes, and races. With your point having been made, you shift back to your Demon form and continue.

“That combined with my charming powers means I can EASILY spy and obtain any information you want~ But more than that, I can INSTANTLY take you anywhere you could possibly want.”

That last bit seemed to really pique everyone’s interest, especially Luffy’s; his eyes sparkled with curiosity and excitement as he asked you how that was possible.

“Time to make the hard sale here.” You think to yourself. With a smile, you raise your left arm and with a flourish of your right hand, show off your Asmodean crystal. You have to bite back a laugh as Luffy audibly “oohs” and “ahhs” at the glowing magenta stone while Nami practically salivates over it.

“With this lovely thing right here~ This bad boy is an Asmodean crystal; a mystical jewel bestowed upon me as a succubus working for Asmodeus. With it, I can open a direct portal to ANYWHERE in Hell AND the Human world~”

Zoro is quick to call bullshit, but you’re more than willing to prove otherwise as you respond by asking for a destination, anywhere in the entire world. The green haired man huffs in amusement, and sarcastically suggests an island clear on the other side of the world.

Smirking, you hold your crystal clad arm up close you and with quick, firm, rub of your right hand, the crystal glows brightly and suddenly shoots out a bright beam of light that stops just shy of hitting the wall before a large, diamond shaped portal appears. The edges of the portal glow brightly and the aforementioned island is now CLEARLY visible to everyone in the room.

With a shit eating grin, you strut up to Zoro, who seems bewildered by what he’s seeing as gets up close to check out the portal. With a giggle, you give him a hearty shove, causing him to fall through with a shout and you hop through after him, completely ignoring the concerned shouts of the remaining crew as the portal snaps shut behind you, blinking out of existence like it was never there to begin with.

The room devolves into chaos, with Luffy whining about how it’s not fair that he didn’t get to go too, while Nami yells at him for not being more concerned about Zoro just disappearing.

After a few minutes, the portal reappears with a flash, and out of it hops you followed closely by a noticeably paler Zoro, much to Sanji’s disappointment. The portal disappears again whilst Zoro goes to sit down, and just says “She’s not fucking joking, she really CAN go anywhere.”

The room erupts into chaos again, this time however, Luffy is practically on top of you, demanding you join his crew right now.

You’re a bit taken aback, you’d expected you’d have to list at least a LITTLE more of what you’re capable of to win them over, but this was not an unwelcome surprise in the slightest.

“Are you sure you’re willing to accept my proposition so quickly? I haven’t even finished telling you what all I can-“

Luffy interrupts you before you can finish your sentence saying that there’d be plenty of time for you to talk about your powers later, right now he just wants to start teleporting to different places.

You smile, fangs on full display. “Guess it’s a deal then~ It’ll be a pleasure working with y-“

You’re cut off again, this time by Luffy stretching his limbs around you in a tight hug whilst rambling about all the different places he wants to go right now.

As you’re stood in the middle of everyone buzzing with excitement and curiosity, all you can think to yourself is “What in the Seven Rings have I gotten myself into??”