#could you imagine the pain? the loss of your father with so little to actually remember before your life got ruined?

[im-all-out-of-ideas]

i know the favored of the supernovas is law and i get it he's a sopping wet loser of a man but my favorite has been bonney throughout egghead she is so precious to me beyond all the others

[ponderingmoonlight]

hi lovely ! you asked for kny requests and i've just finished my kny volume 22 re-read, so thats perfect timing 💙

I was wondering if you could write something with Yoriichi — (tw for potential child loss)

Maybe a hurt/comfort fic where his pregnant wife actually survives the demon attack while he's away (but maybe she gets quite badly injured and their unborn child doesn't make it, if you want to add a little extra angst to it. If not then that's totally fine, this man deserves a happy ending after all 🥺)

Of course, you're the writer — feel free to take any creative direction you'd like or ignore this request if you're not comfortable with it. Have a lovely day/night! <3

Again, I'm beyond sorry you were forced to wait for this so long! But here you go honey, let me know what you think <3

Yoriichi saving his pregnant wife and unborn child just in time

Pairing: Yoriichi x pregnant!wife!reader

Word Count: 4,2k

Synopsis: You never expected to face a demon ever again, especially not when you are about to deliver your child while your beloved husband Yoriichi is in search for a midwife. Will you and your child be alright? Will your husband make it back on time?

Warnings: injury, horror, child birth, tortue, description of death, extreme angst to fluff, last part is not proofread

Notes: Since the first Yoriichi fic I wrote, I'm so deeply in love with his character that I adore writing him so much! Since this fic took a while, I would totally appreciate your support through liking, commenting and reblogging this fic - thank's a lot babes <3

He can’t get enough from simply looking at you. You with your head in the clouds, you with your hand mindlessly roaming around the soft grass underneath, the other one caressing your heavy pregnant belly, you when you give him those surprised eyes as soon as you notice his presence.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware that you’re already here”, you say in a small panicky voice.

You didn’t expect your beloved husband back this soon. If you would have known that he’ll be here by know you would have cleaned the whole house, made him something to eat and-

“I can only imagine what is going on inside your head again.”

His soft but at the same time rough hand touches your cheek gently, the loving gleam in his fuchsia eyes making you blush in an instant. All the voices in your head stop right in their track when he’s around.

Yoriichi Tsugikuni. Your savior, your best friend. And most importantly, your husband and father of your future child.

“How are you feeling, love? Did you enjoy your afternoon?”, he questions, eyes wandering down your body to your swollen belly.

It was hard leaving you alone in a state like this, but he wasn’t able to resist the urgent call from last night. He might be nothing but another simple man holding a sword, but it is his responsibility to save those who are in need. What else is he able to give to this world?

His hand lands on your belly, feels the tiniest kick of his unborn child against the palm of his hand. At least he was able to create a smaller version of you. Is it a boy, a girl maybe?

“I hope our child is a reflection of you”, he finally mutters into the silence, a small but somehow sad smile forming itself on his lips.

You suddenly forget how to breathe, glossy eyes fixated on his captivating sight. Oh, oh much you hate the stinging fact that your husband thinks so negatively about himself. Why can’t he see all the heroic things he has done so far, how respected he is in the demon slayer corps? Why can’t he see that every inch of his body is flawless? Out of instinct, you let your head rest against his broad chest, breathe in his strong scent. If you could only stay like this here forever, his hand resting against your body while the sun tickles your skin-

A violent moan escapes your lips when a sharp pain runs through your stomach. A kick. A really rough kick, to be exact.

“Are you alright, love? Did something hurt you? Is it the baby?”, your husband asks feverishly, his usual neutral face garbled by worry lines on his forehead.

“Just a kick”, you press out, still fighting to regain your composure.

“I will search for a mid-wife, (y/n).”

His words make your eyes widen in an instant, a wave of fear crushing down on you. Is it really time already? You look down at your swollen belly, so big that you aren’t even able to sit down properly anymore. This has to be the ninth month of your pregnancy.

Your heart sinks. The ninth month. If the books you’ve read are accurate, it really is time.

“I can’t do this, Yoriichi.”

Thick panic runs through your veins, forces your heart almost out of your chest. You aren’t ready to deliver a child, let alone to be a mother. All the things you haven’t read yet, the things you’ve probably never heard of…What if you mess it up? Until you met Yoriichi, all you were able to do was trying to survive. Your mother never had the chance to tell you about those things, isn’t here anymore to stay by your side.

You are…on your own.

“Look at me, (y/n). I will go out and search for a mid-wife and I’ll be back at sunset, you hear me? Just stay inside the house and nothing will happen. I promise to return as early as possible.”

Fuchsia eyes that radiate through your soul immediately. An angelic voice that calms down your tingling nerves with only four sentences. Strong arms that lift you off the ground and lead you back into the warmth of your home.

But know, it’s not the wooden cabin that feels like home. Your eyes wander to the neutral expression he wears on his face, only betrayed by a worried glow in his orbs. It’s him, your beloved husband.

“Are you feeling alright, love?”

You take a deep breath in, a deep breath out. Eyes focused exclusively on him until your mind finally silences. It’s just you and him. You and your beloved husband, the man you would trust with your life without battling an eyelid, the man who made you the person you are today.

“I do”, you breathe out.

Your heartbeat tames down as well as the kicks of your unborn baby, Yoriichi’s hands keeping you from falling over.

“Promise me to lock the doors and wait in bed until I return, (y/n).”

A seriousness you only know from him when he is forced to leave at night veils his calm eyes.

“But…you will be back before the sun sinks, right?”

He gifts you a small smile, hand caressing your cheek so gently that you almost forget about the worry lines decorating his face. The truth is that the next midwife lives miles away. Even if he gets to the village as soon as possible, the sun will be about to set when he returns. Yoriichi can’t help but clench his other hand into a fist next to your stomach. The sheer thought of not making it in time, that you’ll be defenceless.

“Don’t worry, love. Rest your eyes and be assured that I’ll return as soon as possible.”

But he cannot allow himself to fail you, to leave you alone in those oh so merciless nights. He will return, no matter what it costs.

He presses a soft kiss against your forehead before grabbing his sword tightly.

This. This is his fate, his family. You are his whole life.

And he’ll do everything to protect you.

-later that evening-

You are exhausted. Over the last few hours, your body was haunted by waves of pain coming and going like the seasons. Again, you dig your nail into the wooden floor, your heavy breaths hanging in the thick air. You definitely don’t need a midwife to tell you it’s time. Yes, your baby is on its way.

And your husband didn’t return yet.

Your glossy eyes dart towards the window, witness how the sky outside turns bright red in the down-going sun. Is Yoriichi alright? You know how cruel life can be. Maybe he met a person who needed to be saved on his way, maybe the midwife is too old to rush to your side in time.

“Rest your eyes and be assured that I’ll return as soon as possible.”

Those words. Even though he’s not yet by your side, you are able to feel his powerful presence around you, how he calms down your aching heart.

“Everything will turn out alright”, you mutter to yourself while caressing your tummy.

“Everything will be alight…”

You allow your lids to rest, body relaxing for the first time since your husband left. You will get through this, you will deliver your wonderful child tonight. A tiny bundle of joy, an image of its father. Is it a boy, a girl? As long as your child is healthy, you couldn’t care less.

Carefully, you curl up on your futon, snuggle yourself into the blanket that still holds his scent. Maybe you’ll be able to catch a few hours of sleep until he finally comes back. Sleep sure does sound very appealing at the moment.

But just when your breath begins to steady, a violent scratch forces you to sit straight up. It came from outside, without a doubt. Is it an animal, is it…

Your throat gets tight immediately, glossy eyes staring at the closed window in sheer horror. The trees bend back and forth peacefully in what looks like a tender night. But that scratch, it sounded exactly like claws digging into hard wood, sent shivers down your spine immediately. You know that sound all too well, experienced what it means to get slaughtered by a demon before. Just before your whole family died violently, this was exactly what you’ve heard.

Out of instinct, you bury yourself into the corner of the room, the blanket that holds Yoriichi’s scent still pressed against your now shivering body tightly. Please, let it be nothing but a wild animal, let your husband come back home soon. Maybe this is nothing but a nightmare and you’ll wake up any given minute-

A violent pain runs through your body so suddenly that a shriek escapes your lips. Suddenly all air escapes your lungs, the way your belly cramps making you see start. No, you know exactly what this means, that this is not the right time to deliver a baby. Isn’t there anything you can do to stop this? You still need to wait for your husband, the midwife, for this gut-turning feeling to vanish. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, sharp and fast breaths hanging in the thick atmosphere.

But it doesn’t stop there. As if this wasn’t enough already, you can only stare at the door that gets opened painfully slow, claws digging into the wooden frame.

Without any doubt, this is a demon.

You press your sweaty palm against your mouth, force yourself to stop screaming, to stop breathing.

“I know you’re here, human. You smell like a…woman.”

It’s like all life is drained from the dead shell of your body, widened orbs staring at the frightful creature that makes its way into your home. Get up, fight, defend yourself like you saw Yoriichi do countless times, use the knowledge you gained from him.

But you don’t move an inch, don’t dare to look away. For a brief moment, time seems to stand still. Out of all the nights you’ve spent together with your husband, this is the first away from him, the first without his protection. Is all of this a dream, a hallucination to test your nerves?

The second the monster’s deadly red orbs meet yours, you get hit by reality. No, this isn’t a dream.

This will be your death.

“I knew you were here, lady. Let me help you up, okay?”

“N-no. Please d-don’t”, you whimper under your breath.

Your coward of a body doesn’t even fight back when he lifts you off the ground with ease, his nails digging into your soft flesh.

“Oh, you’re expecting a baby, don’t you? Well, does this count as a double kill, then?”

Your baby getting killed? If that thing ends your life, it means your unborn child will never experience dawn, will never get to see the face of its father, will never take in his scent. Your glossy eyes widen in sheer horror, tears now streaming down your face like waterfalls when a single frown form on your forehead.

You couldn’t care less about your own life. After all, you were lucky that Yoriichi saved you back then, didn’t even deserve to survive when your whole family had to die before you. But that oh so innocent child that might have the eyes of its father, the blessing of your life right after your husband. That innocent life cannot be taken.  

There is no way you will let this creature lay hands on it.

Your body reacts faster than your mind. With a surprisingly well-placed kick, you free yourself out of the monster’s casual grip. You need to get out of the house, out where you are able to find shelter, to run away. Your lungs feel like bursting any given minute, legs trembling underneath the weight of yourself and the unborn baby you still carry right under your heart. Even if it means you’ll die in vain, even if you won’t be able to see Yoriichi’s tender eyes ever again, you have to make sure your child is safe.

“I underestimated you, stupid woman. As it seems you didn’t give up on life yet”, the creature purrs what feels like right next to you.

A new nauseous wave of panic rises up your veins, makes you sprint even faster through the thick woods that surround your house. This has always been your favorite place to be. The calm trees waving back and forth in a soft breeze, your husband right by your side-

Your husband. Just the thought of never getting to see him again makes your heart ache. You didn’t even get the chance to thank him one last time, to let him know how much he truly means to you, that he’s way more than the man who saved your life back then.

He’s everything you ever wanted, everything you ever needed.

A sharp pain that radiates through your lower body sends you straight onto the ground immediately, figure cramping so violently that you can’t catch your breath. No, this is not the time labor, not when a demon is this close.

“Oh, there you are. Did you really think you can run away like that? You, a little human? You made me so man that I will kill you as painfully slow as possible.”

You try to lift your trembling figure off the ground, try to get back onto your feet, to sprint down the forest you know so well. But just when you’re about to get back onto your knees, a stinging pain in your right thigh paired with a contraction sends you straight back.

A violent scream escapes your lips.

Red. Everything around you is discoloured red. Is this your blood? Did this thing kill you already, are you going to die? Despite the way your guts start to turn when you follow the trail of blood, you can’t look away. And there it is indeed, a gaping hole in your leg, throbbing and bleeding.

All color that is left now drains from your face. With an injured leg, your chance to escape this demon’s claws is non-existent. Which means…

Your heart skips a beat, threatens to fail you any given second. What about your unborn child? A violent storm of anger and determination clouds your mind, makes all logical thoughts vanish into thin air.

“You can’t kill me”, you press out.

Since the day you first laid eyes on a demon, you accepted your own death. Your life is worthless anyway, compared to great warriors like your husband himself. But that oh so innocent child, that tiny life you were given to. You ball your hands into fists so tight your knuckles stand out white and lift your throbbing self off the ground. You cannot allow a demon to take the life of that unborn baby.

“I won’t allow you to touch me.”

You realize the stupidity of your words after they spill out of your mouth in rage. You, not allowing a demon to touch your puny figure? Another contraction makes your guts turn and vision almost go black.

As expected the frightful creature draws closer, its unpromising pair of razor-sharp teeth glittering in the dim moonlight. You never expected to see a demon this close again. Oh, how much you hoped you’d never find yourself in that situation again. But you have to get through this, have to make sure you will survive long enough for the mid wife to deliver your child to this world.

His child.

“I’m sorry Yoriichi. I never planned on leaving you alone like this”, you mumble to yourself, shaky lips tinted in salty tears.

“But this all I’m able to do.”

-Yoriichi’s POV-

Something seems off. Is it the way the trees bent back and forth in the soft breeze of the already set sun? Is it that distant smell that hangs in the air, the one that reminds him of fresh blood and lavender?

“We must make haste. I can sense that danger is ahead of us”, he speaks out with firm voice.

He promised you that he’ll be back before the sun goes down, that he will make it on time before demon are able to roam around freely. Are you feeling alright? Is the pain unbearable at this point? Do you still hold trust for him in your heart? His footsteps pick up instinctively, eyes set on the visibly stressed man behind him. In contrary to most people, Yoriichi doesn’t fear the night or the demons it brings. The only thing he fears at the moment is what you have to endure without your husband by your side.

With every he takes forward, the stinging smell of blood mixed with lavender becomes more urgent in his nose.

Lavender.

He always wondered how you did it. Even after washing, all your clothes kept that calming scent that surrounded you as if you were standing in a lavender bush. A smell so sweet that it caught his interest back then before he caught a glimpse of your fascinating orbs, a smell that always reminds him of home. Yoriichi’s home will always be where you are, where the sensation of lavender is the strongest.

Lavender, the stinging smell of blood that hangs in the air. His eyes widen when his mind starts to race. The smell, it radiates from the direction of your shared home, from the direction that usually fills him with excitement. Can it be…?

His heart starts racing uncontrollably while he dashes forward and draws his sword. Let it be nothing but coincidence, a cruel joke his thoughts play on him. But the stinging fragrance of lavender mixed with iron fills his heart with dread, makes his mind go numb. What if you got attacked by a demon, what if you are in great danger? All because he didn’t live up to his promise, because he didn’t make it on time. His eyes roam around the dark area, desperately searching for a sign.

And then his eyes find you.

Yoriichi’s heart stops.

There you lay, leaning against a nearby tree with a puddle of blood surrounding you, widened eyes starring straight into the face of a demon who hollers above you.

“No one is coming to save you, stupid girl.”

He doesn’t waste another second. With a swift motion of his sharp blade, Yoriichi beheads the demon on top of you while a toe-curling scream escapes your lips. Just one look at your sliced-up kimono reveals countless injuries, especially a gaping hole in your thigh. You hold onto your swollen belly for what looks like dear life, eyes still widened in nothing but shock.

“(y/n)”, he gently speaks out while letting himself fall down next to you.

You have to blink a few times. The demon, it was just about to dig its sharp teeth into your sensitive skin, to take the life of your unborn child in front of your eyes.

Maroon.

But those aren’t the deadly red orbs. No, those oh so gorgeous eyes look so familiar that your heart tames down in an instant. Could it really be, is it possible that it’s…him?

“Yoriichi.”

You breathe his name into the night like a prayer.

Maybe this is nothing but an illusion, a cruel trick your own brain plays on you.

“Words can’t express how sorry I am for arriving too late. I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone this long, for causing this to happen”, his oh so familiar voice blurts out.

Yoriichi’s usual so composed face twists in sheer agony, eyes filling with salty tears. All of this is his fault. He should have arrived sooner, he should have made hurry, he-

“We didn’t come this far to worry now. Please, help be delivering this child, let it all make sense”, you press out while grabbing his hand tightly.

It doesn’t matter that you’re severely injured, it doesn’t matter that your beloved husband took longer than expected to come back to you. All that matters now are you, him and your unborn child that waits to be delivered.

“Allow me to assist you.”

A foreign man suddenly speaks out with sweat dripping from his forehead in waterfalls. Just when another wave of nauseous pain hits you with full force, as if you got kicked into your stomach by a horse. You fail to breathe for a second, hands holding onto your husband for dear life.

“You are already close, it won’t be long now”, the man reassures you while gently opening your legs.

“You can do it, (y/n). After all the things you had to endure today, you will be able to get through this. With me by your side. I love you more than any words could ever say, darling.”

One more push.

One more wave of pain before your body goes numb, before you lose the ability to feel anything except for sweet nothingness.

Until a loud shriek finds its way to your ear.

A violent scream, almost frustrating. When you open your eyes again, you are greeted by a crying but alive bundle of joy, carefully wrapped into a white cloth and placed onto the arm of its father.

Those eyes.

“I prayed every night that he would have your eyes”, you whimper with tears running down your cheek uncontrollably.

You did it. You saved your beloved child who looks just like its father, you managed to somehow stay alive.

“She”, the midwife corrects you gently.

“She…”, you mumble with a small smile.

The last thing you see are the troubled maroon eyes of your husband before your world goes dark.

-the next day-

A foreign but still so familiar laughter fills the atmosphere around you with joy while you see nothing but black. When your stubborn lids finally open, you are greeted by the wooden ceiling you know so well. This is your home, without any doubt.

The home a demon invaded.

The home where you feared for your life while your husband rushed to the midwife in order to deliver your child.

Your child.

You get up way too quickly, glossy eyes darting around the room without a real aim. Is your baby okay? What happened after the delivery? All you can remember are those familiar maroon eyes that looked so much like the orbs of your beloved husband. Your husband…Where is Yoriichi?

“Don’t move too quickly, love. The doctor strictly forbids you to be in a haste”, his gentle voice speaks out next to you.

Just a few moments later, you get invited by the warmth of his arms swallowing you whole. Out of instinct, you let yourself fall against him, press your very own body into his despite the scorching pain that immediately takes over your whole self.

Right, you were attacked by a demon the night you gave birth. How did you manage to escape? Are your injuries critical.

But most important: How is your baby?

“Look what you have accomplished. A little wonder. Just like you, my love”, your husband murmurs, carefully lifting a little bundle off a blanket nearby.

Your heart nearly stops when you catch a glimpse of her. Those maroon eyes are the last thing you remember before everything goes black. With shaky hands, you start caressing her puffy cheek. This. This is what you fought for, what makes it all worth it in the end.

“She has your eyes”, you hush, tears now streaming down your face in waterfalls.

“And your hair”, Yoriichi replies with a soft smile towards you.

“(y/n), I promise I’ll do anything in my power to protect you and her from something like this. I promise I will stand by your side no matter what. And I hope that someday, you will be able to forgive me for not being there for you when you needed me the most.”

The second your husband’s voice cracks, you can’t hold onto yourself any longer. You wrap your arms around him and your daughter longingly, take in the scent who gave you strength that night.

“There is nothing to forgive and nothing to feel sorry about. You did your very best and that is all that matters. I love you, Yoriichi. And I have to thank you for saving both of us just in time.”

“You are my greatest treasure on earth”, he mumbles against your lips while giving you a passionate kiss.

What a plot twist, what a happy end after all. Yesterday you were sure your life is over, that you won’t live onto the next day. And now you’re lying in your house, holding your giggling daughter while pressing your heavy head against your husband’s broad chest.

“Well, I fear I will have to share this special place by now”, you comment while gazing at your perfect little daughter.

“This might be true, love.”

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake

@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @kayleegomez @ryva @baku2345

@komelrebi-san

[lady-ashfade]

Matching flames

Percy Jackson x Soulmate!Reader

-£ Ask: Percy x reader who's his soul mate and he only finds out when she almost dies (could be trying to save him or just because life as a demigod is hard) @poemfreak306

-£ words: 2k

-£ Warnings: Reader being injured, soulmate au, blood & cuts, reader almost dying, angsty, comfort at the end, cursing?? (You can also imagine any Percy you want in this)

Could you count all the stars in the sky?

It was almost peaceful looking up at the stars, mind going blank and your body numb. they looked so beautiful and you realize you’ve never quite looked closely at them. burning rocks floating in space that somehow was the cause of so many poems and love stories. if only you had noticed it sooner.

Blood leaked out of your side and the hand you placed over it started to give up trying to put pressure on the wound. The monster who chased you for miles had finally got to you after being so close to camp, to being safe and sound, when it’s claws finally got ahold of you. Its sharp nails dragged into your skin ripping your clothes and stained them with the blood immediately pouring out. thankfully you had one stroke of luck when your dagger pierced its heart and it was quick to fall.

Not much time has passed since then, however it was enough time for you to loss too much blood.

Had the stars always been that pretty? Just a thought as your eyes blur and the only thing left to feel was the thoughts in your head. The sweet smile of your moral parent’s smile, how it felt to laugh with friends and how some part of you still felt on fire. The shore of the camp’s lake appeared in your mind, and sand beneath your feet as you look at someone’s figure. The smile on their face was so familiar…Maybe it was death being nice to you.

you tried to keep your eyes open but they were just too heavy. maybe you could just rest for a few minutes. there was a sense of warmth that took over your body once more as your eyes fade closed.

“He’s coming, not long little one.”

the campfire wasn’t his focus at the moment but he found himself staring into it as his thoughts ran wild. he had just back to camp but this year was so much different. there was so much on his mind that he just couldn’t focus on one thing. about his mother, his father and how he still couldn’t believe he was a Demi god. even after a long time it just wasn’t normal to him.

then a hiss leaves his lips as he clings to his side in pain. it was stinging and felt on fire. he knew how being wounded felt like all to well but nothing happened, he was just sitting. then his finger felt funny like pins and needles stabbed him all at once. from his left annabeth looks at him worried and looking of his confused face.

“What’s wrong?” But the boy just stared at himself as the pain faded away but his hand became numb and weird. He spun it around a few times to look over it, checking for anything causing it but found nothing. not even a bug.

it was your smile that popped in his head. the warm shoulder he always laid on, he could hear the laugh you had ringing in his ears. why? his name was called from your soft lips but it wasn’t like normal, he saw your lips with blood from the corner. reaching out to him like he was your only hope.

“Y/n.” He stood up immediately at the image in his head. looking around for you in the crowd of campers he didn’t find you with your siblings or around your friends. annebeth looked at him worried and stood up with him, “what is it?”

he knew those trees. he’s seen then a million times. percy knew the grass, but this was different from actually knowing where you were. something was tugging his body and he didn’t need ask where you were. he knew.

his feet moved on their own and he practically ran where they took him and only thought of you. Annebeth stayed behind and told Mr.d that something might be wrong. Percy felt off and not the normal kind he always did. his body felt weaker like it was losing its life. his chest felt off and his heart filled with sorrow.

so when he found you laying in a pool of your own blood he was quick to fall next to you. “y/n” he called out. he checked for a pulse but couldn’t do it right so he leaned next to your nose and listened for your breathing and thankfully he felt some. his heart was pounding when he saw the cuts on your body making his mind wonder to what could have done it. the camp was just a few feet away and you could have been safe.

“Don’t die,” he begged and places his arm under your head, “this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.” his words didn’t make sense to him when he spoke. how was it supposed to be? what was he talking about.

the new light in the sky made him look up to a shooting star shoot cross the sky. it was truly beautiful. something around his finger pulled again and he felt the small feeling of string so when he looked down it was red and tied around him. following the line he found it connected to you. The string of fate.

his string was tied to yours. you were his soulmate.

“no, no” he wrapped another arm under your legs and left you up slightly. he was staring at your face with tears pooling themselves in his eyes. for the first time he was finally seeing you as what you were. his. but how could the gods be so cruel to take you way from him. Percy wouldn’t let that happen. he’d fight hades himself for you back.

“just stay with me.” there he was carrying you passed the camp line to get you to the infirmary. even in the near death you looked stunning as you away did. he was just to stupid to see it before. 

when they took you away from him he was quiet and stood outside the door and refused to leave. percy even refused to leave the room at first but was yelled at and pushed out, so he had no choice but to leave your side. how could he just stay outside when he could lose the one person that was supposedly to stay with him, to love him, and who was supposed to be with him always? how could he just sit still when he was going to lose it all?

his friends came to sit with him and offered him some kind words and reassurance but not much helped. he just sat down on a chair with his legs bouncing and hands fiddling with themselves as all he could think is about you. about the cuts on your skin and all the blood.

luckily they had gotten you somewhat healed, making you stable and fine. just had to wait for your body to heal.

“Percy,” annabeth poked his shoulder as he stared at the floor. they had left and he could go in now but he didn’t notice. “you can go in now.” Percy turn quickly to her and then at the door wide open now. so he sprinted up and inside to find you laying on the bed peacefully sleeping. annabeth didn’t follow him in because he needed a moment alone. she’d let him have his moment

Percy sat beside your bed the whole time you slept. he’d fed you. he’d brushed your hair out of your face and watched you closely as if someone was out to get you. his hand was always ready to pull out riptide in case but nothing dangerous ever came. his hand stayed in yours while he whispered for you to wake up and how much he was sorry.

“Should have realized it before,” he whispered as he leaned near you. “gosh, I’m such a idiot.” he sighed to himself and ran his eyes over you.

His hands rubbed your own, “Just wake up and I’ll make up for it. For all the time we lost, just let me love you.” His lips pressed to your head as you continued to sleep unknowing to his words but your body healing by having him close.

two days of not getting much sleep himself you’d waken up. his head resting next to your leg as he sat in a chair with his hand on yours, his hair messy. you didn’t remember coming to the infirmary or how you got here. and not percy holding your hand. but you couldn’t let go off it because it was to comfortable like it was made to fit in yours.

when you moved your body since it felt so stiff from probably not moving in days you’d accidentally woke him up. you felt bad as he shot up quickly and looked around panicked with his hand going to his side, probably reaching for riptide. once his eyes found yours it made your heart sink into your lower stomach. under his eyes were black circles and his eyes looked so painful that it broke you, like he’d been crying. he was paler then normal.

A sad smile broke onto his face, he was relieved to see you awake. He let out a small chuckle as his eyes almost filled with tears when he jumped forward you take your head into his chest as a small hug. “Welcome back,” you froze at his hug but let him have his moment. of course you smiled and wrapped your arms around him too. It was nice.

“Percy, how long was I out…How did I get here?” Pulling himself back with a red tint in his chest he sat back down.

“I found you outside the barrier. Y/n, I thought you were dead, you were barely breathing.” his voice broke. “but I got you here and now you’re awake. not dead,” there was that damn smiling again that pained you, like he was convincing his demons something.

humming and nodding your head along you look at your side to see it healed, lifting up your shirt just a little and saw a scar on your skin. it made you frown knowing how big it would be. “If it means anything, I think you’d look badass.” you put your shirt back down and look at him.

he was trying to make you feel better. “Percy when I was- When I closed my eyes I heard something and my body, well it felt different. Do you know anything about that?” his heart skipped a beat and his eyes slightly going wide.

was it obvious how fluster he was? was his skin as red as a tomato, did he look like a fool? “I have to tell you something.” Percy played with his own hands again and looked away for a second. you swing your legs to the side of the bed to stretch.

“Go ahead.”

You watched him closely and you could see he was working himself up to speak. how his body bounced and twitched, he was turning redder by the second. he was cute. and you yourself found your own cheeks turning hot when you looked at him.

“I saw you at the campfire in my mind. I could feel the pain you felt, or somewhat, like I was dying. my body was pulling me to you and I knew exactly where to find you without having to look.” As he explained you listened carefully and tilted your head to the side.

“then I saw it. The red string of fate tied to my finger. I saw a shooting star, then I saw your string tied to my. And for the first time I saw you for the first time, as my soulmate.”

“Oh.” Damnit. That was bad.

Percy nodded and now started to shut down as he watched you, your brain moving to figure out what to say. he just ruined everything. you wished to not be his soulmate, that was it. he didn’t blame you. Percy brought danger whereever he went.

But that wasn’t it. you had been thinking something else. everything made sense to you now. why you looked at him when no one else was looking. why he made you feel high in the clouds when he was near. and how he just fit so well in your life without trying. “Percy,” you call out to him again and move closer and scoot to the end of the bed with your feet hitting the floor.

you should have known from his eyes. as they look at you now it just hit you like bricks, how they were so powerful. as you take his cheek in your hands his breath hitches and holds in his chest. “i’m glad you’re my soulmate.”

he pulled you close to him and held you so tight in how arms as you giggled at how happy he seemed. his laugh made your stomach fill with butterflies. “I’ll make you happy.” And that you had no doubt about. you pulled back from his grasp and looked at his lips. you needed to kiss him. and Percy knew what you were thinking and wanted the same.

his face moved forward as his kiss captured yours in a soft but passive kiss, his hands moving to wrap themselves around your body as yours wrapped around his neck. it was nice but didn’t end short. after all you both waited for a long time to feel the love of a soulmate and you didn’t know that you craved it this badly.

The stars never lied when it comes to love. And now you knew that he was the burning fire within you.

[thezombieprostitute]

The sheriff likes how you always got a pie baking in your window. He likes that every time he sees you, you got your apron on. He likes that you smile and wave at his cruiser. He likes all the way you make him shift in his seat.

The only thing he doesn't like, is that you're not waiting at home for him.

Summary: Lee has regrets to deal with and decisions to make.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, Depression, Thoughts of cheating, Unhappy marriage. Please let me know if I missed any!

Lee's made a lot of decisions in his life that he regrets. He'll swear up and down that he had only the best of intentions when he signed up for the police force. When he decided to become sheriff. But no one knows better than him how far his morals have fallen.

But not being your man was the biggest regret of his life.

To become sheriff, he needed financial and social support. The kind he could get from her family. He courted her, got on her father's good side, eventually marrying her. He honestly thought that's all love was, that that was the purpose of a marriage. Now he's got all the resources he needs to keep his position, barring his sister royally fucking things up for him.

But then he met you.

Him and his little family were making an appearance at the local auction to raise money for the church. People brought a bunch of homemade goods and foods. Sometimes it was simply pine cone crafts that really did look pretty. Other times it was Granny Russell's special chicken livers. Lee always thought only an idiot would turn down that specialty.

But then you showed up, with a stack of pies.

You were something to look at, Lee was sure no one could deny that. But you were also so sweet. He was certain your kindness, patience, couldn't be real. No one was that sweet all the time. You were too new to the town for him to really know well, but given how the people who did know you reacted, he could imagine you were worth knowing. He made sure to buy one of the pies you'd brought, intent to use it as an ice breaker. He'd figure out your angle, how you could play so nice.

But when he looked into your eyes, he was a goner.

He's never seen such beautiful, kind eyes. He swears they were sparkling. For the first time in his life, Lee was tongue-tied. His wife had to subtly elbow him in the ribs to stop his staring. He definitely got an earful that night before sleeping on the couch. The entire time you were talking to his wife, his kids, he felt at a loss. Like there was something more to life than status. His wife set him straight, though.

But he kept seeing you around town and the feelings kept coming back.

You were always busy with your baking. Always kind to everyone. Always waving at him and smiling. He feels in his bones that you should be his. That you could give him the actual warmth that storybooks about love had promised. Not the performative care that he and his wife did for each other. You'd genuinely enjoy spending time with him, with the kids. Not complaining about a "life wasted" like his wife.

But cheating or worse, a divorce, would kill his election odds.

Every day he can't be with you hurts him. He takes up drinking to try to ease his misery until his wife dumps all of his bottles, citing the upcoming election. The people aren't gonna vote for an angry drunk. Lee thanks her, honestly thanks her, and it catches her off guard. If he can't have you, he's gonna try to do better by his own wife. Maybe it'll help ease the pain of not having you and your natural sweetness in his life.

But then Hal Carter comes to town.

He's a tramp, everyone knows it. He's a drifter working in different towns as he tries getting to some friends of his further south. He claims to have a college degree but Lee doesn't want to believe it. Hal is young, strong and, according to all the old ladies at the church, very helpful. Everything Lee is not. Hal hasn't stopped showering you with attention, attention Lee knows you deserve.

But it should be Lee making you happy.

Holy wah, that got away from me! This was not supposed to go on so long!

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @ronearoundblindly

[neoameba]

It is necessary to escape the routine sometimes!

F. Toji x Ftm! Reader

Warnings: This is a trans man/boy centered post, but you (fem, gn, and non-trans) can still safely interact with the post. Toji and reader were not a romantic couple before reader turned 18. It's more for comfort, made especially to give those silly smiles.

Summary: Naturally, every rich man needs a heir. And it’s obvious that it wouldn’t be any different for someone who works directly in the Japanese government. That’s where the problem lies. Being the vice president of a country and doing so much for the poorest and most needy people, while taking away unnecessary privileges from rich people, makes his head a target and his family as well.

When [Name] was born, his mother fell ill due to blood loss, and soon died from complications in the surgery that was supposed to save her (it is important to mention that, after her death, a bounty on the woman’s head was announced in the deepest areas of the internet, It is not known whether the mission was accepted). This generated extreme fear in the man and, as a result, he ended up becoming extremely protective of the inheritance that the woman in his life left for him.

All of this only got worse when [Name] revealed he was a trans boy at 15 years old. The reason why the vice president of Japan was even more scared (thankfully) is not because he is trans, but because of what people would do if he found out. Think about it, if people already wish the boy’s death just because he was his son, imagine if they found out that [Name] is a trans boy?

Of course, the man did the impossible to erase [Name’s] old image, to pass him off as a cis boy. Still, it’s difficult to stop the rumor from spreading.

That’s where Toji Fushiguro comes in.

It's curious to think that Toji, the sorcerer killer, could actually be tasked with protecting someone. But that’s exactly what happened, [Name]’s father actually put Toji as the boy’s bodyguard. And this went on for 6 years.

“Hey! Can you stop pulling me, I have legs and they are very functional!”

[Name] says, only to continue being pulled towards some place unknown to him thus far. He didn’t understand anything, and Toji didn’t want to explain what he was doing either.

Finally, the two stop in front of a house. It wasn’t ugly, it just looked like it wasn’t well looked after from the outside.

“Huh? Is this your house?”

“Yes, and I want to introduce you to my son... What was his name...?"

Toji says the last part quietly, but it still gets a low laugh from [Name], who thinks the older man was just joking. Even he knew Megumi's name because Toji said it himself. And after all, who would forget their own child’s name?

As soon as the tallest one opens the door to the house, [Name] is faced with a heart-wrenching sight. There was Toji Fushiguro’s son, eating snacks for breakfast in complete silence and alone, in na environment clearly not prepared for a child

As soon as [Name] sees this, a slap is landed on the head of the man next to him, who moans softly in pain. The slap was weak, but Toji didn’t want to be so mean and say he didn’t feel any pain from the impact.

“How dare you leave a poor little child in these unsanitary conditions?!”

“It’s not my fault if I have to spend the whole day with you. Besides, the kid knows his way around, you see?”

Megumi turns around, looking at his father with disinterest, but then looking at the boy next to him. This time, he seemed more interested, and got up to walk towards the boy.

“... You’re the guy he talks about so much, right? Cool. Nice to meet you.”

Little Fushiguro says, surprising [Name]. It’s a lot of education for just one child (especially for a child who is the son of a man like Toji).

“Nice to meet you too! You're very polite, right?"

When [Name] goes to shake the boy’s hand, he realizes that although it may not seem like it, Toji probably takes care of the boy, as he shows no signs of being thin beyond what is healthy.

"Tell me something, little Megumi...Does Toji take care of you or just leave you to your own devices?"

Megumi shakes [Name]'s hand, and shrugs, indicating that it was a little of both. Obviously Toji pays for food and a few other things, but Megumi is the one who cleans the house and already acts like an adult.

"I'm very busy, if you must know."

"That doesn't give you the right to leave him to his own devices."

"You're really just here to judge, ugh."

Before [Name] could counter argue, he chose to remain silent. He holds Megumi's hand and prepares to tidy up the house and make good, dignified food, since it seems unlikely that Megumi has eaten anything healthy these past few weeks.

"Megumi, let's tidy up this whole house. And you Toji, we'll talk about it later."

Toji seemed to be both unsatisfied and happy. Unsatisfied because he couldn't imagine being scolded like that, and happy to see his son and his boyfriend getting along so well. He sits on the couch as he watches the two boys tidy up the house (and no, he doesn't plan on helping).

And speaking of a boyfriend... He would never have imagined that he would date someone of the same gender as him. He never even considered being with a man, but destiny can always surprise. Everything has been so peaceful after he and [Name] started dating, he can just sit on a couch and watch a good television show while cuddling with his boyfriend. [Name] actually managed to get Toji over the loss of his wife, which is a miracle.

While he is absorbed in his own thoughts, Megumi and [Name] finish tidying everything up. This made for a good few hours, and by the end, both the youngest and oldest boy were dead tired. Megumi goes to his own room and throws himself on the bed, while [Name] throws himself into Toji's lap.

"... That was so tiring... You could have helped!"

"You didn't call me, I didn't think I needed to help with anything."

The man says, as he gently squeezes one of [Name]'s cheeks with his left hand, and with his right hand he squeezes his waist. The smell of cleaning products on [Name]'s clothes were incredibly good, and Toji didn't even remember buying them. He buries his face in the crook of the boy's neck, eliciting a laugh from [Name].

"Of course we needed your help! But it's okay, the food is up to you, go make it soon because your son is hungry. And try to take good care of him, unless you want me to slap you again."

[Name] says, as he gets off Toji's lap. He wanted Toji to make the food so that at least Megumi could eat something his father lovingly made. Well, he still doesn't know that Toji is terrible at cooking.

And everything goes like this. [Name] going to take a shower, only to almost faint when he felt big hands on his waist, Toji burning the food and [Name] having to redo everything together with Megumi, Megumi accidentally revealing that he likes watching Barbie movies, and in the end, everyone watching Barbie in the living room.

Sounds like a perfect day, don't you think?

[liberumalas]

I LOVE YOUR DRAWINGS/ ART STYLE ALASTOR AS A CHILD IS SO CUTE !!!

What do you think baby and child Alastor was like growing up like personality and how did he get along with others and what he was like at school? Do you think he was a hard to handle baby or one of those quiet ones (fully conscious baby lol 😭)

ATTENTION, THESE ARE ALL HEADCANNONS. I'll refer back to canon when there is information but we don't know much of Alastors early life. Or of anything about him at all that much. This is gonna be a loooong one...

I also think, I'll colour code a little; orange is what is actually canon and blue is the stuff that i think ive read somewhere but might not be true or might become outdated.

I. Alastor and mental health

I think it is very likely that Alastor has ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) othervise known as psychopathy. Now people with this disorder are not inherently evil, but I'd think their upbringing takes a lot more care, attention and knowledge than the avarege person because people with aspd don't experience empathy, and regret after hurting someone or at least these feelings are very limited. They are also very likely to disregard rules, be reckless, agressive, impulsive, decietful, etc...

Alastors childhood propably stems from the 1900s to the early 1920s roughly (we don't know when he was born, only that he died in 1933 and was in his 30s-40s). Psychology was not as advanced as it is today, and it was especially propably unavailable for a child of colour.

So I think that Alastors behavior was very poorly managed throughout his childhood, leading to him becoming a not very good person (a serial killer).

II. School life

In school he'd act violent toward classmates he didn't favor. It's been said that he has a messed up moral code, but a moral code still, so I'd imagine that means either getting revenge for those who were wronged in some way and could not protect themselves (and Alastor actually liked them) or protecting those who cannot protect themselves. Either way, these likely ended up in Alastor beating another boy up, putting glass shards in his sandwich or ruining his status or reputation in some way. In fights he'd be creative and use his surroundings, other than mindless punching.

Towards his friends (whom were very likely all girls) he'd act very polite, charming and even kind. He'd enjoy spending time with them instead of other young boys who were a lot less mature and sometimes straight up repulsive and barbaric. Him and his friends would hang out, gossip, dance, etc, he was always just *one of the girls* lol. This is also where I'd imagine the moral code comes in, because of early 1900s mentality and sexism and boys bothering girls and Alastor standing up for them and those were very different times and Alastor just seems like a very uniqe case.

So he'd get into trouble all. The. Time. His poor mother is just tired and at a loss at this point. Nothing makes this kid behave better, there is no use of punishing him, she (or his father) can beat him (reminder that those were different times), talk to him, talk to teachers, punish him with chores and work, nothing works. It is a miracle he wasn't arrested yet.

III. General behavior and perception

I think he was always very confident, charismatic and passive agressive rather than outright violent (which he reserved for those he particularly hated and actually could fight or trick). He was polite usually (his mother thought him well in that regard, and being polite is very useful anyways) and very intelligent and tactical. People rarely caught onto his mischief and the targets would usually be too afraid to speak out. Usually. Or just be annoyed and if the target was an adult, hooo boy.

I think the people who knew him would see him as a troublemaker but someone who would have great potential if he wasn't such an annoying pain in the ass. He is theatrical, dramatic at times, they just really didn't know what to make of this kid. People who didn't know him would see him as a good kid, who has a strange sparkle in his eyes that could be something harmless and innocent or something that is very worrysome. Family thought he was strange, worrying, but outside that, helpful and a sweet kid. Other than the beating classmates up.

IV. Family stuff. God help me...

So... this is the part where the source of angst for every Alastor fanfiction comes from.

-About his mother:

She propably ended up in Heaven so thats the only indicator we have of her personality.

His mother was a caring, sweet as candied apple but a very troubled person. Troubled because of her husband, her son and society. But she was also very firm and and had a spine, and she was a great source of inspiration for Alastor. He loved her very much (in his own way) and enjoyed being around her.

(fyi we don't actually know, which of Alastors parents was creole and which one was white or smth else. All we know is that he himself is mixed creole.)

Alastor loved his mother's cooking and they'd both like jazz and swing and all these types of fun. She encoureged him throughout his life, though she likely didn't know about his serial killer hobby later in life. Or if she did, than that was a very complicated situation.

And oh boy, oh, man, the father of the year.

-Dear old Dad.

I don't think that for Alastor to have a valid reason to hate him (and by extension almost all men) his father had to be phisically abusive, even though beating or hitting your child was common practice to punish them. What I mean is he didn't have to throw bottles at his son's head, beat him to a bloody pulp or strangle him and his mother for Alastor to hate his guts. I think that him being pathetic and disgusting in Alastor's eyes is very much enough and maybe makes even more sense. Hear me out.

Think about the stereotypical man. The ones women oh so hate. He drinks, he smokes so much, you can't see him, he cheats and lies and he is just a mean little bitch.

(I'm a man myself, don't kill me, I wrote that from the perspective of Alastor Manhater.)

And if his father did these things that were (are somewhat still unfortunately) not at all uncommon among other men, Alastor's hatred of this can be easily extended to every man who cannot prove otherwise. Maybe even those who can or could.

So I think that while it is possible that dear ol' Dad was horribly violent towards his family, it would be a lot less clichè and maybe even make more sense for him to be a pathetic cheater who drinks and smokes and is just unpleasant to be around.

Alastor would fucking hate his guts. His father is rude to his mother and to him, he is useless, he is pathetic, he is spending the hard earned money on cigarettes, alcohol and brothels. He lies, he's mean, he's just a horrible person.

Alastor would never want to be like him, though ironically some traits he can't help but learn from him. Lying, being mean to others, he'd also as an adult would occaisionally smoke.

I also think that his relationship with his gender is not the best, in a sense that he doesn't like being a boy, because all boys are douchebags and he doesn't want to be a douchebag. Not like his father anyway.

Okay, closing words.

First of all, I'm not a native english speaker and i wrote this very very late.

Second of all, this is, again all just my idea of what Alastors early life might have looked like. Season 2 is coming soon and it was said that Alastors backstory would be important and would be explored, although that could mean his arrival and early times in Hell as well, we'll have to see.

If you yourself have any other ideas or thoughts or you think I got something wrong, comment it, I'd love to read other fans' thoughts!

Anyways, thank you for reading this far! I'd love to write in a similar format about Alastor's time as an adult or a mixed person working in radio in the late 1920s to early 1930s, so let me know, if that interests you! I'll propably do better research for that, in this one most of the history knowledge is from memory, so if ive made any errors, again, let me know.

Alright, goodbye now.

[emisprocrastinatingbywriting]

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 9 Summary:

For months Joel Miller had become your safe haven. His presence in your life seemed to be guaranteed, especially with the fresh mark on your neck. When reality comes knocking, how will you cope without the person that had saved you in so many ways? Will you let the past trample you or will you be strong enough to overcome it?

Warnings: Past Trauma, Violence Inflicted By & On Reader, Threats, Angst, Reader Needs a Hug, Or Maybe She Just Needs to Kill Paul, Perhaps Both, Near Death Experience, Reader is Low-key a Badass Though, Reader Misses Joel.

A/N:

Hello y'all! Welcome back, I hope you guys have been doing good. This chapter is from the reader's perspective and starts off right where we left her cleaning up in the kitchen after Joel leaves for the river. Major warning for violence in this chapter, we love our feral queen. Also, given the overall shittyness of Paul's group, there are some threats towards her that imply SA but nothing actually happens. If the violence or those types of threats bother you, as always protect your own sanity please!

Chapter 9/20

The words widened the goofy grin on your face as you scrubbed the bowls from breakfast. Joel loved you. The idea of it made your insides warm and gooey.  

Chapter 9: Separated Pt.2

“Love you too honey.” 

The man that had carried you from the riverbank and tried to pawn you off on a distant brother had changed remarkably. Since the first day, he slowly transformed into the sappy alpha that had opened himself up for you despite the pain it caused him and then slapped your ass before he left for the river. He was somehow simultaneously a complicated and uncomplicated person. His past was enough to bring anyone to their knees but Joel wasn’t just anyone. 

Joel was a father of not one, but two girls that had died. You tried to imagine what that loss might feel like but were unable to. It seemed too big, too awful to comprehend. Even worse, for years after he had tormented himself with his perceived failure to protect them. It made you want to cry. A knot grew in your throat as you thought about him breaking down amidst wreckage in the previously locked room. 

You knew that talking about it had scared him at first but afterwards, you could’ve sworn a light had returned to his eyes. With the truth of his past revealed, you realized that that was what he had needed all along. He needed their memory to live on but wasn’t strong enough to let the words flow. Maybe that was your job, to break down his walls so that he could finally speak about his grief. 

A distant memory arose from the recesses of your mind. You remembered how your father’s mother had died a few months before the outbreak. Bits of your life before the outbreak flashed behind your eyelids as you strained to remember how the family you had mostly forgotten about handled it. You remembered foreign words chanted by your father and his siblings over a grave, mixed with days spent sitting in lowered chairs. You remembered how your father’s unruly frizz had been pushed back with product as he crouched down in front of you and explained that it was okay to be sad, but that she would live on through your memories. 

Childish confusion had filled you at his reassurance. Little fingers tossed dirt on to her casket after it was lowered but there was no sadness, just the inability to comprehend what had even happened to begin with. Perhaps you were too young to understand what the situation and its sentiments meant but the memory presented itself clearly now. 

If Joel kept talking, if he held the memories close without letting them swallow him, maybe one day they wouldn’t hurt him as badly. Perhaps in time, Joel’s heart would heal. He was your mate, which meant it was your job to soothe the storm that raged within him. The instinctual need to calm his heightened nerves was overwhelming but you took it all in stride. It was comforting to know that Joel needed you as much as you needed him. 

This was what you were for, to protect him in a way that he didn’t know that he needed. Joel loved you, despite the parts of him that were steeped in stifling grief. The least you could do was ease his self inflicted torture by allowing him to grieve properly. 

Plus, he had to deal with it sooner rather than later as you were under no allusions about what the future held for the both of you. An alpha could only knot his mate so many times before reality came knocking. The last thing either of you needed was Joel having a nervous breakdown when it did. The future didn’t scare you as it once did but you knew that your mate would need more reassurance that the sky wouldn’t fall again. 

The sound of the door opening pulled you from your plans and you placed the last of the dishes on the rack. A smile crept up on your face as heavy footfalls clomped towards the kitchen. Biting down on your lip, you tried to keep it cool as Joel neared. 

“That was quick baby, did you even get the water?” you teased. 

No response came from your mate and you rolled your eyes. You imagined Joel behind you, leaned up against the frame of the door with his arms crossed as his eyes raked over your frame. The trademark scowl would be plastered over his lined face but you knew that the melted pools of chocolate would give him up immediately if you looked. His eyes were your favorite part of his body. Well, one of them at least. 

“If you wanted me to come with you, you could’ve asked. Didn’t have to speedrun through your chores for me.” 

Again, nothing came from your mate. His scent remained distant, like he was still miles away, but you shrugged it off. Maybe it had rained while you were still locked in your thoughts about your grandmother’s funeral and plans for the future. 

You imagined how Joel’s ruggedly handsome face would crack open with a quirk of his lips when you turned. He was so easy to predict but you loved it. The warmth of his gaze was worth every other thing that you had been through in your life and it always would be. Utterly lovestruck at the thought of him, you whirled around excitedly to greet him. Only it wasn’t Joel that leaned against the doorframe. 

The scene before you was bastardized and revolting. How dare he stand in the place where your mate was supposed to be. How dare he show his face in the home that the two of you shared.  

Fear was what he had expected from you, that much you could see as the surprise at your lack of response forced his mouth wide open for a second before he snapped it shut. There was no fear. All you felt was a frenzied rage coupled with a burning sensation at the back of your throat from the muted scent of maple that radiated off of him. You could’ve barfed as it coated the inside of your nose. You had hoped to never smell it again. 

“Paul.” 

The alpha cracked a grin that didn’t reach his frosty gaze and you sighed. Looking at Paul, you suddenly felt older than you had in years. It was like a bully from childhood had returned to yank at your pigtails once more. Except now time had passed and his presence sucked all of the energy from your body, leaving you exhausted at the very sight of him. 

“Waiting for someone Angel?” Paul teased. 

Bitter contempt brought a litany of insults to the tip of your tongue but you swallowed them down. You tried to look around him towards the open door. There was comfort in the knowledge that Joel would come back soon and Paul wouldn’t stand a chance. The older alpha could tear him in half without breaking a sweat. 

“He’s not coming but don’t worry, he’s alive, Figured I’d take him as a souvenir for now. Who knows, maybe he’ll be fun for the guys. They like to place bets on who will last the longest,” Paul sneered.  

Joel was gone? No, that couldn’t be. He was supposed to come back. You needed him back. Panic flared up inside of you as you spiraled with all of the possibilities. Was Joel hurt? Was he scared? The anxieties piled atop of one another until tears fell from your eyes. You felt lonely. It was unlike the loneliness you had felt when Joel had ignored your advances. That had been manageable due to his proximity. 

As the tears dried on your face, you realized that this time you really were completely alone and it was due to the man that maniacally cackled in front of you. Deep rage spread from your chest, lighting every nerve ending on fire and tensing all the muscles in your body. The anger boiled over before you could stop it and an explosion of threats poured from your lips. 

“If you hurt him, I will fucking kill all of you. Do you get that? Or are you THAT dense? If you even think about hurting him, you’re going to die. He is MINE, do you understand that? MINE!,” you growled. 

Possessiveness was not something you had ever been known for until Joel Miller waltzed into your life. Or rather, until you waltzed into his. It shocked Paul. He had expected a version of you that no longer existed. A little girl who was made to pray and obey a wicked stepfather. A dutiful wife who was forced down the aisle by circumstance. A contemptuous omega who needed to be broken by a lengthy stay in the pit. 

The fact Paul didn’t know you anymore was a victory. He knew the innocent kid that he had preyed upon and the broken shell of an omega that he had tried to control. You weren’t either of those people anymore. Not since the infected had torn you from your friends and you had stumbled through the forest for days. Not since Joel Miller had provided a safe space for you to rebuild yourself into a stronger, more self confident version of you. Paul didn’t know who you were and never would again. You relished in that. 

The gruesome beast that had haunted your dreams had been shrunk down before your eyes. All that remained was a weak man who stood in the way of the one person who you had claimed as your own. 

“Look who's all grown up now. Did the old man teach you some things? Sure smells like he did,” Paul said as he sniffed at the air. 

You tried not to gag as he stepped closer, trying to get a whiff of your scent mixed with Joel’s. It felt perverted for Paul to ever have a part of your mate and you glared at him.

His teeth were clenched as he spat out, “Shame that the bastard was stupid enough to take the one thing that was MINE.”  

The fact that Paul thought you were his property only disgusted you more but you remained stoic in the face of his taunts.  

“And what was that?,” you goaded, already knowing the answer. 

You knew this game. Paul was trying to rile you up and throw you off so that he could strike but you saw through it. All you needed was for him to take the bait and he did. As he moved closer to your place at the sink, one of your hands slowly inched towards the knife that poked out from the drying rack and grasped the handle. He didn’t even notice, too busy staring at your curves as he approached. 

Fucking idiot, you thought. 

When Paul’s head lurched back in a dramatic cackle, you slipped the knife into the sleeve of Joel’s flannel. You refused to be afraid any longer, despite the fact that he had been one of the villains in your life for years. But that was the thing about monsters; only little kids feared them. You had grown, making the display in front of you nothing but more than fuel to add to the fire. The blade dug into your palm. All you needed was an opening.  

“You.” 

And that was it. At the base of all of Paul’s desperation was this sick fantasy that he had harbored for years about owning you. He wanted to tie you down, to keep you shackled to him for the rest of your life. There was no love involved in his need for domination. It wasn’t a bond that Paul craved from you anymore, not with Joel’s teeth indented on your neck. In fact, it had never been about claiming you as his mate. 

This was about control.

An explosion of emotions pushed you from the sink and towards the alpha. Grief, desperation, sadness, and above all else, anger, quickened your heartbeat. You were tired of it, of everyone trying to tell you how to live and forcing you into some predestined mold. 

The only person who seemed to understand who you really were anymore was Joel. He truly was your perfect match and he was somewhere in need because of Paul. An unfamiliar feeling leached into your body as you stepped forward. The mark on your neck tingled with feral greed and Paul blinked at the atmospheric shift. He’s mine, mine, mine, echoed from somewhere in your mind. 

The knife was wedged into Paul’s thigh before your brain even registered the action. As the blade tore through the soft layer of fat and thick corded muscle, a howl bounced off of the walls. The sound of it was delightful. You smiled at him and yanked the knife back before slamming it in deeper. A high pitched whine escaped Paul’s lips and you giggled at him. Rage flashed in his eyes at your amusement and his fist reared back, coming down hard against your cheekbone. 

The force of the punch knocked you to the floor. Pain blossomed from your quickly reddening face but you ignored it, pushing yourself up from the tiles and stumbling towards the door. Paul groaned as he launched forward and wrapped his fingers around your wrist, squeezing it until you heard a pop. The delicate bones crunched under his grip but you barely felt it. Adrenaline pumped through your veins and blurred the pain that coursed through you. 

With your survival instincts kicked into high gear, you spied the perfect exit strategy in an instant hanging on the wall. Quickly, you reached out and snatched the pot from its place. Before he could react, you bashed the metal against Paul’s face. Another cry of agony fell from the alpha as he stumbled back, hands pressed over the gash in his forehead. 

The sight of Paul in pain made the wrath inside of you grow and you laughed at the unfamiliar feeling. The exit was free with the alpha being dizzied from the blow but it meant nothing anymore. This was one of the men that had torn apart your life. Sure, the outbreak had morphed it into something entirely different than what you had hoped for but Paul was the one who went out of his way to make it worse. 

Paul was the one who had stalked you for years. He was the one who kept the group living in fear of Josiah and his council with his brutality. He was the one who allowed Jake’s boyfriend to be killed and supported the subsequent forced marriage. He was the one who married and destroyed two perfectly fine omegas of his own. He was the one that tried to destroy you as well. And above all else, Paul was the one that had taken your mate in order to harm him. 

Laughter rattled in your chest and you allowed the breathless rage take over. The darkness started and ended with Paul, you understood that as the venom seeped into your soul. 

You slammed the pot against his skull again and it felt so good that you kept going. After the third blow Paul swayed on his feet and collapsed. Blood splattered against the ground from his broken face but you kept going. Sweat and tears poured down your face as you moved down his body, beating his abdomen until his breathing turned to muffled wheezes. Paul’s eyes were blinking heavily when you finally threw the pot aside. He was close to passing out. 

A monster had been unleashed within you. This burst of rage was like nothing you had ever felt. The only thing that held any meaning anymore were the thoughts of Joel that bounced around your head. His booming laugh, the scruff of his patchy beard against your hands and thighs, his big hands rubbing soothing circles into your hips as you clung to him after a bad dream, the way he looked so hopeful everytime he placed a meal in front of you; like he wanted nothing more than to make you happy. This ghost from your past threatened all of that. 

Bare hands collided with Paul’s bloodied face. The act of beating someone was so foreign to you that you didn’t recognize the fists as your own as they rained down on him. It felt like you were floating above the kitchen, watching yourself tear into Paul with no ability to stop it. You heard the screamed insults as you scratched at his face and slammed his head against the floor but the person they came from was a stranger. 

Unfamiliar hands shot forward to tear you from his broken body but you fought against them. Teeth sunk into flesh and whoever had attempted to pluck you away groaned at the sting. It was only when three people ripped you off that you realized that you had fucked up. Anger had gotten the better of you and now you were alone, fighting against three alphas as an unfamiliar man heaved Paul from the floor. 

“Cut it out you crazy bitch, or I’ll give you something to scream about. Maybe a real knot would temper you,” one of the alphas barked in your ear. 

You stilled immediately in a show of obedience. If they were anything like Paul, these men didn’t care that Joel had claimed you and that was extremely dangerous. It was crucial that you remained calm if you were going to escape unscathed. Their hands pushed you down and you whined as your knees hit the tiles hard. Peals of laughter came from the men. Your pain amused them. 

Paul was dragged out of the room and you tried not to smile at the ragged state of him. With your face schooled, you directed your eyes to the floor and tried to think of a viable escape plan. It was then that you heard another alpha swear in disbelief from the doorway as Paul’s beaten body passed him. The familiarity of the voice tickled something buried in your mind and you snapped your eyes towards the entrance. The smell of citrus and cloves slapped you in the face as you met his gaze. There was no mistaking him. 

Cooper stood in the doorway for a moment, green eyes analyzing the state of you before he stepped forward. He looked more grim than you had ever seen him. He resembled a puppy that had been kicked for too long and came to expect the abuse. Any lightness in his gaze was gone, his eyes framed with the dark shadows that advertised his exhaustion. 

Cooper had never really been on your radar much when you lived amongst your group. He was always found somewhere on the sidelines during any of Josiah’s meetings and kept to himself for the most part. Paul had forced him into being one of the rangers that scrounged for supplies but he never seemed capable of returning unscathed. 

It was only after he had been shot in the side that Josiah overruled his brother and took him off rounds for good. You remembered how Paul had ensured that everyone knew how weak Cooper was, making him a social pariah by spreading tales of his cowardice. He had been entirely uninterested in his brother’s recovery while he laid in bed fighting an infection for weeks, refusing to let anyone visit him unless they were healers. Hell, even Jake seemed to care about Cooper’s recovery more than Paul for some odd reason. 

You remembered how Cooper used to hang out in the basement of the chapel amongst the dusty books and discarded boxes. One time you had found him leaned up against one of the desks when you were looking to find new reading material. You had jumped nearly three feet in the air but somehow Cooper was still the one that looked more terrified. 

Shame had filled you and you apologized, fleeing the basement before he could respond. You felt awful about your find. It seemed to be some sort of safe haven for him. After the interaction, you started to avoid it at all costs. Everyone needed a hideaway within that group and you refused to be the one to ruin someone else’s. 

The only time you remembered Cooper doing anything out of character was when you had stumbled upon him gardening along the edges of camp. You were sneaking back in after escaping for a few hours of peace in the cool waters nearby. Again, he looked guiltier than you did as he stood from the lupines and goldenrods. With the strict rules regarding how alphas and omegas should act and which jobs were appropriate, you weren’t surprised at his fear. Paul would’ve had a field day if he knew his brother was doing an “omega’s job.”

Neither of you had said a word to anyone and life went on as usual. The interaction was so miniscule that it had been lost to time until he walked into the kitchen. A loner through and through, Cooper had been an easily forgettable side character in your life. Even now, you only thought of him because of his connection with Jake. That’s all he had ever been to you, the alpha that your best friend had mated with under duress. 

“The guys out back are having a tough time getting the big guy in the truck, you better go help them,” he instructed the group around you. 

None of them were swayed and one of them grabbed a fistful of hair, wrenching your body upwards in defiance of Cooper’s demands. You groaned at the sting in your scalp. 

“What makes us think that we’d listen to you boy?,” one of them spat. 

Defiance sparked behind Cooper’s dulled eyes for a moment and he glared back at the men. 

“Do you think Paul is going to like it if her mate gets loose? Go fucking help them out so we can get out of here for Christ’s sake,” Cooper seethed. 

The second drop to the ground was shorter but still stung nonetheless. Two of the burly men strode past the smaller alpha, muttering to themselves as they glared at him on the way out, but one stayed behind. 

“What about her?” the last one asked. 

Cooper scoffed, “I think I can handle it. Go. Now. Before my brother wakes up and decides to hang you.” 

The threat of his brother worked and the man hustled out of the room, leaving you behind with an alpha that had remained a stranger for your entire life. He had only lived three houses away from you, just on the other side of Miriam and Rachel’s house. Still, no matter how far you dug you couldn’t scrounge up any other memories of him. Had Cooper ever talked to you directly? Had you ever talked to him? You couldn’t remember. 

“Why the fuck did you stop moving?”

The words were thrown at you like an accusation and you sat back confused. 

“Why did I - What?,” you sputtered. 

Nervous energy rolled off of Cooper as he threw his hands up in the air. His fingers pulled at his hair while he turned to begin pacing in front of you. He muttered to himself under his breath, arguing with some unknown foe in his mind. After tearing out a handful of hair, the alpha stopped in his tracks and turned towards you. Frustration pinched his face and his hands were bunched into fists at his sides. 

“We thought you were dead. If that raider had come back, Paul probably would have left it but no. No, you had to fucking set up shop here and now look at this fucking mess. You could have taken your mate and gone anywhere but you just had to settle,” he hissed.

 Cooper’s fists rubbed harshly at his tired eyes and you weren’t sure what to say. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. Was Cooper… mad? At you? For what, you couldn’t even begin to imagine. The fact that he was even angry was shocking in itself, you had never seen him anything other than solemnly agreeable. 

“Do you know what he did to us? To Jake and me? All because of some stupid fucking fantasy about you. My - OUR daughter is nowhere to be seen and that’s because of you. Because he needs to keep us in line so that he can get what he wants, like always.” 

“D-daughter? Jake has a daughter? Wha - Wait, is he alive?!” you asked as excitement sped up your heart rate.  

Cooper deflated a little at your reaction and pinched the bridge of his nose. It made him look older than even Joel despite the fact that he couldn’t be more than thirty. He cussed under his breath before he looked back up at you. 

“Jake is alive. He’s safe, for now. I’m going to figure out a way to get Allie back and then I’m going to get us out,” he stated calmly. 

You watched as he moved towards the discarded pot in curiosity. His nearness should have scared you, being the lone omega amongst a brutal group, but you felt at ease. For some reason, you knew Cooper wouldn’t hurt you. Whether it be his connection to Jake or his mild naturedness, no alarm bells rang in your head as he examined the bloodied pot near your feet. He sighed and shook his head, breathing out an almost inaudible fuck me. When his eyes met yours again, they were determined. 

“Cross over the river, that should dull your scent, and then go east. If they catch you again, I won’t be able to do anything. I have people who need me. This is a courtesy because of how much you mean to Jake. I can’t - shit, I won’t risk them for you again. Do you understand?”

He looked up at you for confirmation. You nodded slowly, unfamiliar with this side of him. Determined was not a word that you would have used to describe Cooper before but now, it was written all over his face. 

“Good,” he sighed as he handed you the pot. 

The bottom of it was covered in Paul’s blood. You stared at it for a moment, the world falling away as you watched it drip onto the floor. Untethered from the reality you found yourself in, there were no words to describe how you felt. The situation was like a strange dream and you didn’t know how to pull yourself out of it. All you knew for sure was that Joel was not at your side and that was a problem. 

“And if I go west?” you asked. 

Cooper’s gaze hardened and he answered with a simple, “Don’t.” 

The nod you gave was mechanical, born out of the necessity to appease the alpha who wanted to help. Cooper didn’t need to know the truth. He didn’t need to know that the cord that was wrapped around your soul pulled you towards home. You couldn’t ignore it, no matter what. Joel’s presence somewhere on this earth was like a beacon of light and you knew you were bound to chase after it until your heart stopped beating. 

“Good. Now, I need you to hit me with that as hard as you can then get out of here. Do not let yourself get caught by one of those guys. It isn’t - fuck - they aren’t like the group we had before. They are so much worse and they won’t be uh, proper towards you. Got it?” 

“Yeah, I’ve got it,” you grumbled. 

Of course you understood. Alphas like these were like the boogeyman. Omegas all over had been told tales of their cruelty from childhood since long before the outbreak even started. They were the beings that lurked in the shadows, quickening the paces of omegas as they wandered anywhere alone after dark. They roamed in packs filled with like minded others and tore apart anyone they found. It came as no surprise that Paul had fallen in with them but you pitied Cooper for having to be involved. 

“Cooper I don’t know how to… Thank you.”

Cooper shook his head. Self loathing was written all over his face as his eyes turned glossy and he clamped them shut. Steeling himself for what was to come, he clenched every muscle in his body tight and released the tension with a sigh. When his eyes snapped open he nodded once, giving you the go ahead to strike. 

The loud bang of the pot slamming against the side of Cooper’s face was way less fulfilling than it had been with Paul. The alpha fell to the ground with a groan and all you felt was bitter guilt. He didn’t deserve it. 

“Go,” Cooper hissed from his place on the floor as he held his head in his hands. 

That was all you needed to hear. In an instant, you scurried over to the front of the cabin and shoved the first pair of shoes you found over your feet. A thick jacket was thrown over your frame haphazardly before you started pilfering through the back of the entryway closet for anything of use. There was no way of knowing how long before one of them waltzed in but you needed to be smart. 

The first thing you found was the silver pocket knife that Joel kept hidden under a stack of long johns on the second shelf. You slid it into your pocket. The next target was the rifle Joel hid somewhere in the cabin. You had watched him march into the trees with it slung over his shoulder but never thought to ask where he put it afterwards. It made you feel like an idiot. His presence always seemed so guaranteed. The assumption had been a silly fantasy, something that soothed you into forgetting that a cruel world outside of Joel’s oasis existed. 

Reaching up on your tiptoes to feel around the top shelf, your fingers passed over nothing but shells until you felt it. The cold metal bit at your hand as you carefully pulled out the handgun. The heavy weight of it in your palm was sobering. You were going to do this, you were going to free Joel no matter the consequence. There was no fear at the moment of clarity. All that remained was a sense of duty that had been engraved on the inside of your chest from the moment the bond was sealed.  

Grabbing a half empty box of bullets and slipping the gun into your pants, you scampered back towards the front door. The string that connected you to Joel was drawn tighter than it had ever been. You knew they were taking him somewhere further away. Whether he was trying to or not, Joel’s side of connection screamed out into the space between you. The feeling of your mate calling out pricked at the senses, forcing you into action. 

The latch was ripped open without another thought and you stepped out onto the porch. The air was frigid as the wind whistled through the trees. All you heard was the roaring gusts that shook the branches and kicked up bunches of snow. Several sets of footprints left idents in the snow and trailed off towards the river. Looking ahead, the path Joel used to check the rabbit traps seemed clear. With not a single footfall gracing the pristine snow, you started towards it.  

The snow was heavy and stuck to the bottoms of your untucked pant legs as you ran into the trees. Heart pounding in your chest, you dodged branches and clambered over the dips in the uneven ground. Your lungs burned from the exertion but you ignored it and kept racing towards the water. It was only when you heard someone let out a shout in the distance that you stalled. 

Crouching as close to the ground as you could get, you pushed your back into the trunk of a tree and thumbed the handle of the knife. All that surrounded you was trees and huge swells of white. Your breaths puffed out from between your gritted teeth as you strained to hear anything. From the left, you heard two of the alphas clumsily trying to wade through the wintry mess to make it back to the cabin. 

Should you fight? 

Should you make a run for it? 

Would they smell you if they got too close? 

The hesitation cost you time and soon their heavy pants were right on the other side of the tree. The first one swore under their breath as they stumbled over snow. After a second, the first kept up their clumsy jog while the other stopped completely. The alpha breathed heavily, painful breaths sucked in between coughing fits as he tried to gather himself. You waited for him to follow but he didn’t. 

“What are you doing man? We gotta go check it out, come on,” the quicker one snapped. 

Practically wheezing, the other man coughed out a tight, “Go see. I’ll wait here.” 

The other one sighed loudly and then stumbled off towards the cabin, where Cooper was undoubtedly recounting some bogus tale about the crazy omega that attacked him. You imagined their reactions and secretly hoped that they would be angered at the thought of an omega assaulting not one, but two alphas in one day. 

With the other alpha gone, the air was filled with labored breathing. Meanwhile, you sat with a hand clamped over your mouth to stay quiet. Simply being quiet wouldn’t work for long, you knew he would smell you soon enough. Waves of your scent rolled off of you, spreading out in search of the one that knew how to soothe you.

But Joel was gone and this man stood in the way of him being found. 

The ground was cold against your fingers as you got up and turned to face your prey. The man didn’t notice you as he was still bent over with his hands on his knees. His face was a deep shade of purple with rivulets of sweat rolling down his forehead. He looked old and not in the way Joel was. This man looked as if he had spent his entire life chugging back drinks and growing out the beer belly that bulged from beneath his coat. A rifle hung from his left shoulder and you watched as he clumsily dropped it to the ground with a grunt. This alpha was big and fearsome, as most alphas usually were, but he was slow. 

You could work with that. 

Carefully, you stepped towards him and pulled the knife out. Flicking it open, you stalked closer and closer until you smelled the stale cigarettes that clung to his skin. The closer you got, the larger he seemed but he remained blissfully unaware until you stood before him. He froze as the muted scent of a mated omega tickled his nostrils. You watched his jaw lock shut and the muscles in his back tighten as he readied himself to attack. What an idiot, you thought. 

The man lifted his head, only to be met with a wicked smile as you pierced his arm with the blade. He roared so loudly that nearby birds took to the skies. A meaty hand reared back to snatch your hair but you yanked the knife out of the wound, forcing a spurt of hot blood to splatter across your face. The coppery liquid landed on your tongue and you gagged at the taste. You slammed the knife back in, this time aiming for his chest and burying it as deeply as it would go. 

A small line formed between his bushy eyebrows at the second blow and his hands came up to tug uselessly at the handle. You laughed at his weak attempts to rip the blade from his chest. If he did get it out, the action would only hasten his inevitable end. The man was damned either way. The alpha interrupted your laughter as he spoke up in between pants. 

“Didn’t even see it coming,” the man choked out with red bubbles coming from the corners of his lips. 

He coughed and swallowed the blood that flooded his mouth before he continued, “Talking all sweet to his mate like a fucking pussy. Like any of your kind deserves that shit, fucking sluts. He thought it was you coming for him. Just looked up at me and boom, out like a light.” 

Joel. 

It all made sense. They had knocked him out in order to jump him. Of course, that made so much sense. There was no way they could’ve taken him alive if he was awake. Joel wouldn’t have surrendered to anyone, not when you waited for him at home. The alpha had taken him completely off guard and now mocked him for it? You wanted to scream. 

“You have no idea what you assholes just started,” you snapped.

The blade was covered in red when you ripped it from his chest cavity. The wound made a wet sucking noise against the metal and he hissed at the pain. You stopped, watching the blood as it dripped down the handle and covered your hand. Another hacking cough from the man sprayed steaming blood on your jacket, onto Joel’s jacket. The man tainting your mate’s clothing was the last straw.

Three more slashes ripped jagged lines into the man’s face before you finally buried the knife in his heart. A silent scream forced his mouth open and you shoved him back against the snow in disgust. A circle of blood spread out from beneath him as his body twitched and you watched it grow. By the time you looked back at his face, he was dead. 

You had never killed someone before. The only victims you had on your roaster was a collection of infected and a couple of slow moving rabbits. Those didn’t count. An actual human being was dead at your feet with your knife stuck in his chest. It wasn’t that you were freaked out at the fact that you had killed him. What freaked you out was how good it made you feel. 

The feeling was a twisted and greedy thing, shrieking at you from the depths of your soul to turn back to the cabin to rain hellfire down on everyone. An inner battle was waged within you as you gazed upon the corpse. One part of you wanted to rip out the throats of all of the alphas that swarmed your home, while the other part just wanted Joel back. 

The sound of crunching footsteps settled the debate and you quickly ripped the knife out before you sprinted towards the river. The wind stung your ears as you ran and pinched at your cheeks. You heard it when one of the alphas reached the discarded corpse but you were so close. He shouted for the others and you hastened your pace, bursting out onto the beach in a frenzied state. 

Chunks of ice slammed against the riverbank and sped across the surface. The water itself was quick moving, with white caps and fizzy swirls that tore up every bit of earth they happened upon. Massive rocks poked out from beneath the swells but you couldn’t see how many were hidden. 

You knew how to swim. Miriam had taught you once in the summer heat. Ever since that summer, you had grown in ability and frequently escaped with other teens to enjoy it without adult supervision. However, the water you had skinny dipped in once didn’t have a current. These rapids were an entirely different beast. Nevertheless, as heavy footsteps drew near, you found yourself plugging your nose before you jumped in feet first. 

The pain was instant. You remembered your mother snapping at you once for getting too near to a frozen pond after the first safe place had fallen. At the time, being no more than six years old, her harsh words had registered as mean. But as the frigid waters sparked every nerve ending in your body and set them on fire, you realized her harshness stemmed from educated fear. 

The shock of the cold held you down beneath the waves and you felt your body quickly torn away from the shore. You flipped and somersaulted weightlessly in the rushing waters, every attempt at paddling to the surface useless against the current. More pain erupted from your side as the river slammed you against one of the rocks and a groan was muffled by the water. Desperate to breathe, you sucked in a mouthful of the frigid water but it stung your chest. Panic bloomed from within at the realization that you were drowning. 

Your lungs screamed for oxygen but you were stuck, shoved against the solid stone and weighed down by the rapids. Opening your eyes didn’t help, as all you could see from the bottom of the river was black. Was this it? Was this how you would die? You were infuriated at the thought. How could this be the thing that killed you? After everything you had been through, drowning seemed absolutely ridiculous. No, this couldn’t be it. Not with Joel somewhere alone and in pain. Not when you finally had a home. You wouldn’t allow it. 

Bubbles were released from your lips as you cried and struggled against the stone. You paused, watching as they floated towards your right side and then it clicked. The strong current had flipped you around and battered you against the rock but all you needed to do was right yourself to push upwards. A chunk of ice thumped against your chest but you ignored the sting as you wriggled around. Placing your feet on the ground, you pushed off with all of your strength. With one final kick against the top of the stone, the crown of your head breached the surface. 

You sputtered and fought against the current as it whipped you further downstream. The surroundings were unfamiliar, far away from the spot that you had collected water from for weeks. It was a battle but you used all of your strength to stay afloat, kicking weakly as you tried to find a way to slow down. There was nothing to grab on to and as hard as you paddled, you couldn’t reach the side. You couldn’t help but sink when a huge wave came, slamming you back underwater and cutting off your air supply. 

Weakened from the cold, you were losing strength and felt yourself be pulled further away. Hands grappling with the rocks on the bottom to slow down, a scream was silenced by the waters as the jagged edges ripped a nail off of your fingertip. Cold water filled your mouth and you choked on it as your body dragged along the riverbed. Another swell flipped you over, your back colliding with another stone. You splayed out against it, helpless to the current until a chunk of ice knocked you loose.

Death seemed certain. The edges of your mind folded in on themselves and you struggled to hold the memory of Joel’s face in your mind. If you died, you wanted him to be the last person you thought of. Grief pulled at your heart strings and you focused all of your energy on trying to project your thoughts to him. You wished for a miracle. You wished that Joel would hear how sorry you were. For letting him go alone. For the crossfire he was caught in. For not being strong enough to survive. 

Just as you accepted your imminent death, you felt yourself fly off of an edge. A gasp of crisp air was all you managed to gulp down before your belly was slapping against the surface of the water again. You braced yourself to be thrown around again but nothing happened. 

The current had slowed and you quickly kicked your way to freedom. The moment your head popped up from the depths, you were panting and coughing up bits of the river. Your lungs ached and you retched, a torrent of swallowed water pouring from your mouth as you paddled to shore. 

The edges of your vision were blurred as you strained to pull yourself onto the side. All of the muscles in your back protested the movement but you managed to make it by crawling. Sitting back on your knees, you retched a couple more times until the remaining ramen from breakfast laid half digested against the icey shore. With your stomach emptied, you huffed a few more steadying breaths and looked at your surroundings. 

The fast running waters dropped off into a wide pool. It was deep enough to dive into and held itself up on a ledge above more rapids below. The excess from the swimming hole poured over its side, pummeling the rocks below before it shot out and resumed the aggressive current. You spied a metal bench someone had left behind on the other side of the river. It was tucked nicely under the branches of the surrounding trees and you realized Joel had mentioned this place before. 

Amidst the desperation of the first night of your heat, there had also been bits of downtime. Joel’s body had been slumped over yours when he spoke of it. The feeling of his weight coupled with your fingers shoved in his curls was perfect as you basked in the aftershocks of his brutal thrusts. Deep in the throes of feverish desire, the temperature of the room reached tropical levels. Sweat collected in every crevice of your intertwined bodies but Joel didn’t seem to mind. 

“It’s hot,” you whined. 

He groaned and you felt it when his cock throbbed at your needy tone. His knot had gone down enough for him to slip out but every time he tried, you locked your ankles around his back in protest. You knew Joel didn’t mind despite his grumbles. Plus, he couldn’t hide the smile when he snuggled his face back in between your breasts and you resumed playing with his hair. 

“Want me to move darling?,” Joel mumbled, his voice muffled into your skin. 

You giggled at the feeling of his facial hair brushing against your breasts and hugged him closer. 

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

Fuck, it was only a few hours since he had left but it felt like days.

You remembered how hard Joel had laughed at that. He had kissed the tops of your breasts before he looked up at you. 

“Can’t wait for summer. M’gonna bring you down to the swimming hole, leave your clothes on the bench and take ya right there in the water. Out in the open for anyone to see,” Joel growled. 

His words flooded your core with pure desire and turned your tongue into lead. 

“Mmmm… Like swimming. S’nice,” you replied dreamily. 

Joel had chuckled and you hummed at the way his deep timber buzzed against your ribs. You remembered how lips brushed over your bare neck, laying soft kisses over the spot that he would claim for himself weeks later.  

“Well then it’s a plan darling,” you remembered him whispering as he began to thrust into you once more. 

The memory forced tears to your eyes as you sat depleted against the shore. Amongst the frozen wasteland, your demeanor cracked against the weight of your isolation. The swimming hole sat right there but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Tears dripped from your eyes and warmed your cheeks before they froze, becoming frosty reminders of your sorrow. You weren’t supposed to be here alone. This was a place that Joel wanted to show you. The first time seeing it was supposed to be fun. The fantasy of easy summer days spent swimming and fucking was ruined, leaving you absolutely heartbroken as you stared at the bench.  

You wanted to wallow, to curl yourself into a ball and cry until the tears were depleted but the string that held the two of you together would not allow it. It thrummed with energy, pulling you from the grief as you felt him slipping further away. It was a constant reminder that your alpha was alive and that grieving his absence was wasted energy that could be used to find him. 

With a renewed sense of purpose, you braced your cold hands against the snow and slowly pushed yourself from the ground. The bones in your wrist popped from the weight and you hissed, shaking it out as you looked eastwards. The river water had started to freeze your clothes, stiffening the fabric as you weighed the options. 

Cooper had told you not to go west. That was where the danger lay. That was where nightmares came to life and threatened to swallow you whole. That was where your so-called ex husband resided. Could you even call Paul an ex if you never had a choice in the matter? You decided that it didn’t matter. None of it mattered and you ignored Cooper’s advice, turning westward in pursuit of your mate. 

-

“Most of them went back already. Paul got his ass handed to him so they fell back. They took the alpha with them. Swear to God, the big guy looked like he was in better shape than Paul,” the red haired one laughed. 

The ginger spat a mouthful of gasoline onto the ground before he shoved the end of it into the bucket. The other one whistled and shook her head, chuckling quietly before she murmured, “Paul’s gonna be pissed that her mate got the jump on him.” 

“That’s the thing!,” he boomed in excitement, “It wasn’t even the mate. I swear to God, it was the chick. I’m telling you, she’s a fucking psycho! Beat the shit out of Paul and knocked out his pussy ass brother. Then she slashed up Kennedy and booked it. It was absolutely insane.” 

“No fucking way an omega did all of that.”  

They bickered back and forth as you listened from behind an empty oil barrel. You tried not to let them get to you, clenching your teeth as you stayed hidden nearby. It had been nearly half a day since you left the cabin and you were close to freezing to death. With the sunlight growing dimmer, you knew that you needed to find shelter or at least a new set of clothes soon. 

The cold had been unbearable after only a few hours of stumbling through the woods but the one upside to your travels was finding the plethora of cabins that laid just on the other side of the river. The first cluster had surprised you. It seemed that Joel wasn’t as isolated as he thought. Surely if these existed, other people knew about the cabins buried amongst the greenery. 

If either of you had crossed over to the other side of the river just once, you would have found that the reclusive hunter had been fairly surrounded by others on his western side. You had encountered a few other variations of hunting cabins along the way, all of them boarded up. Luckily for you, they had been abandoned but you lacked the strength to pry them open. Each time the door refused to budge you were forced to move on in hopes of finding another safe haven. 

After hours, you finally found a contender. Made of brick and a tin roof, the one story cottage was truly a sight for your sore eyes. The latch was padlocked but the door itself bumped against its frame with the wind. All that was needed was one harsh pull and the latch would be torn clean off the side of the cottage. Excitement overtook you and you darted from the treeline, yanking on the front door as hard as you could. It creaked with the weight but remained closed and you tried again. 

After your fourth attempt at ripping it open, the screws that kept the latch stuck on the doorframe had almost released themselves but then you heard it. You tilted your head at the sound of a rumbling engine. It took you completely off guard. You hadn’t heard the sound of a vehicle in months. After breaking from your confusion, you quickly vaulted over the rails of the porch and took off running for cover as a weather-beaten truck drove up the overgrown path. 

The truck was so large that both of the alphas had to jump down from their seats. You watched as the red haired alpha searched around the area, kicking at the large pile of snow next to the cottage until he foot banged against metal. He had reached down and grabbed the edges of a tarp, revealing an ancient jeep that looked as though it had been untouched for years. 

Meanwhile, the other had ripped the door open with ease and searched the space for any sign of you. With the harshness of the wind, you hoped that your scent had been swept away so that you could remain undetected to the pair. When she came up empty, she returned to her friend crouched by the jeep. 

As the two of them bickered about whether you had actually bested Paul, you looked towards their truck. The heat of a working vehicle was extremely tempting in your state. It only took a moment of imagining the warm air inside the cab before you decided. 

Shaky hands grasped the gun in your pants and fiddled with the chamber, emptying out the bullets to shake out any remaining water. You reloaded it and breathed in, waiting patiently for the right moment. Without the knowledge to do so yourself, you allowed them to take the precious petroleum from the rusted jeep to aid you in the journey.  

“Alright, better get going. We’re losing daylight,” the man sighed as he lifted himself from the ground. 

The woman turned to look at the ginger while he fiddled with the hose. A response was poised on the tip of her tongue but three shots cut her off. The first was clumsy and ricocheted off of brick into a nearby tree. You were rusty from the little experience you did have but the second shot managed to be a bit closer to its target. The woman shrieked as the bullet lodged itself in her knee and she fell to the ground. The final shot was the most on point as it hit the man square in the crotch. With both alphas on the ground, you sprinted forward. 

The man was a lost cause. He didn’t even reach for his gun. Instead he laid on the ground and cupped his ruined genitals as he screamed in agony. You felt nothing at the display except for slight anxiety about the fact that any of his comrades or infected nearby would have heard his dramatics. There was no pity for the alpha. Given the type of man Paul was and the vile threats that had been thrown at you in the kitchen, you figured that this man probably deserved the bullet. 

The woman was still alert and reached back to pull at the sling over her shoulder for a gun. Before she could get the long gun from her back, you rushed forward and knocked her flat against the snow. A gust of breath left her lungs as she hit the ice and you wriggled until you were sitting on her chest. Pressing your thumbs into her eye sockets, she screamed again and ripped your hands away before she flipped the two of you over. 

The fist connected with your nose and crunched the bone. Tears formed on your lash line at the bright burst of pain. You moved to retaliate but your opponent wasn’t finished. Blood trickled from the bridge as her fist came down again and slammed against your jaw. Again and again, the alpha launched her fists into your face until you felt disconnected from the pain. Buried under the ruthlessness of her attack, you felt as if you were drowning all over again.  

Swallowing your pride, you grasped at her belt. You knew that the enticing action would work and it did. Alphas like these only desired one thing, a wet cunt to break on their knot. It didn’t matter where or who it came from. The second the idea of taking you crossed her mind, you had won. A wide grin showcased all of her crooked teeth as you played with the leather and nuzzled the hand that was covered in your own blood. Your brain screamed at you to stop and the mark on your neck ached as you weakly grinned at the woman. 

“Aw, if that’s all you wanted, you could've asked. All of us would’ve spread you out real nice, bet that would help with that little attitude problem of yours, hm? You’d like that huh?” 

The smell of her arousal would’ve made you retch if you hadn’t already puked your guts out alongside the river just hours before. The scent was all wrong, it was too sweet to be your mate’s and your body knew it. You fought against the biological urge to recoil as your fingers smoothed over the leather in search of something to aid in your escape. 

“Maybe I should take you for a little test drive before we get back. You think Paul would mind? I mean, you’re already damaged goods,” she laughed. 

A high pitched giggle came from you. It didn’t sound like your normal laugh but somehow she bought it. Your fingers moved towards the front of her pants and you found it. The solid weight of it slipped over your fingertips and you smiled. Looking up at the woman, you batted your eyelashes coyly. 

“Mmmm… You know what I would like more than that?” you cooed. 

She grinned wider and asked, “What’s that?”  

“All of your guts spread out against the god damn ground, you sick fuck.” 

The knife sliced into her belly and she gasped. Looking down in shock, the alpha watched as the blade was torn through her lower abdomen in a jagged line. Bloodied tissue was released from its place in her body and it spilled out onto your own. A soft ah fell from her mouth and she collapsed beside you, panting as her life poured out onto the whiteness surrounding her. 

The pieces of her that had fallen into your lap produced small puffs in the frigid air. You watched in sick fascination as the mess steamed, wisps of vapor rising up and disappearing with every harsh bout of wind. She was dead when you looked over, graying eyes fixed upon you accusatorially. She wasn’t wrong to glare at you like that from beyond the grave. Hours ago your hands had been clean and as you stared back at her, you realized that she was the third person you had killed in less than 24 hours. 

You felt possessed by some greater power as you stood from the ground. The brokenness of your body didn’t bother you as you hobbled towards the cottage. She had nearly beaten you into unconsciousness but you trudged on despite your pounding headache. You barely felt human anymore, just going through the motions as you pilfered through the cottage. 

The towel that you used to wipe the blood from your face smelled like dust and blood shot out of your nose as you sneezed from it. Red continued to drip down your face but you just sighed. A mirror hung in the bathroom and you looked into it, noticing how bruises formed beneath your eyes and across your nose. You snorted at the sigh. It reminded you of the panda bears you had seen in a book once as a child.  

Your body violently shook from the cold and you tore through the drawers, abandoning your own clothes for a pair of baggy jeans and a thick sweater that advertised The Wyoming Mustangs. More spots of blood stained the collar and you groaned in frustration. 

Looking around for anything to stem the flow, you settled on shoving rolled up toilet paper up your nostrils to slow it down. Two pairs of athletic socks replaced your own fuzzier ones and you tried not to grumble at the fabric. Clearly the previous owners of your own home had better taste. After rifling through a plethora of sandals, you managed to find one pair of workboots that would suffice and laced them up as tightly as possible in hopes that it would keep the moisture out. 

The only moment of hesitation in your outfit change was the coat. The coat you had with you was one of Joel’s but it was soaked. It didn’t have any real use and you knew he wouldn’t care if you left it behind. But despite the dip in the waters, it still held the faintest whiff of him. You shook your head at yourself. It was just a coat. Still, you knew there was no way you would leave it behind, no matter how irrational it was. 

Easing yourself into a stranger’s jacket and throwing Joel’s over your shoulder, you walked towards the truck. Stopping only to collect the discarded weapons and gas, you hurried to the vehicle and threw everything in. You lifted yourself into the obnoxiously large truck with a groan but the second you shut the door, you melted against the driver’s seat. 

The cab was still warm and you hastened to turn the keys in the ignition to keep it that way. The engine sputtered once before it roared to life, drawing a sigh of relief from you as you pulled your seat closer to the vents. The warm air was intense, creating pins and needles in your limbs as they thawed out but you kept it cranked. Being cold was one of the things you hated the most in this world and it hadn’t been a problem for a few months. It hadn’t been a problem since Joel came into your life. 

The need to cry bubbled up and you desperately tried to shove it down. With a working vehicle and daylight dwindling, what you really needed was to stay on task but the emotions got the better of you. 

“Fuck, I miss you,” you croaked, allowing yourself to voice your misery for just a moment. 

But there was nobody around to hear. There was nobody coming to rescue you from the people who waited for you ahead. You were just a fool crying out for someone who was incapacitated. Life was not a fairytale where Joel would magically break out of his imprisonment and somehow save you at the very last second. The world was cruel and you realized suddenly that there would be no hero in your life unless you made yourself into one. 

“Jesus, get it together woman,” you whispered. 

Wiping the tears from your eyes, you looked towards all of the different buttons and the gadgets. Omegas weren’t allowed to drive, that was what Josiah had proclaimed to the group multiple times. They were too easily distracted by simple things, making them prone to accidents. Plus, they weren’t allowed to be away from camp anyways. Driving was never an option when you lived there. 

Rachel had given you a few impromptu lessons here and there during your year on the run, allowing you to test the waters in hopes that one day you would find a place more suitable to learn. It was hard to learn with the rugged terrain and hordes of infected. Although she had taught you the basics, it seemed like lifetimes ago and you struggled to remember the finer details. Did D3 mean something different than D2 and D1? Which one were you supposed to use? Did it matter?  

The clock in the dashboard changed with each minute that passed and you cussed. There wasn’t enough gas or time for you to freak out like this. Not if you were going to find Joel alive. And fuck, you needed him alive. Swallowing every bit of indoctrinated hesitation and every fear about crashing into the trees, you gripped the gear stick and threw it into D3. It sounded like the speediest option and faster was what you were aiming for. 

“Fuck it,” you sighed as you slammed your foot into the gas pedal. 

[cablyunkataplum]

Lavander Petals

Vi x Fem!/Pronouns Reader

Words: 4,310

Summary: Life took everything from you that tragic night. Years have passed and the ghosts of your past knock on your door unearthing intense feelings, could you forgive? Let go?

Written Curse: Use of (__)! Second person! I'm not an english native speaker so I support on translators!-- It took too long to write this. anyway, i wanted to do my own version of Vi and Reader reunited--This happens after the end of the season! See ta Darlings!

Your eyes feel heavy, heavier and heavier as time goes by, so many years and still the pain has not shed the veins of your heart. There are even times when you believe that everything was part of your imagination, from the need to love and appreciate that in the end you ended up more hurt. Or maybe it was all real and that would make it worse, you don't know it anymore you don't know anything, you've never known anything and that hurts more.

Are you crazy? No, no, no. Of course not… or that's you want to believe, maybe, it’s all a bad dream, a bad thought that took too much control of your life and even they still are by your side. Playing a bad prank while you sit on the bench, your elbows resting on the bar that was just cleaned, your hands on your jaw and cheeks that conform to the pressure of these, your lost look on the liquors on the shelf and so on, your legs spread out for being very close to the bar when your feet rest on the metals under the chair. Your sense of hearing absent in the moment, focusing on the illusion of their loss.

When night falls and a new life begins, yours comes to rest. Your eyelids still for a long time now prevent you from having to recognize that you are totally alone and always will be, tomorrow will continue and will until the same luck knocks on the door of your little dwelling. But why would it be today if it was not before?

The morning rests everywhere, penetrating even the thin layer of skin of your face, with a rhythmic touch you began to wake up. Some noises were leaking into the almost empty room and helped you to take a more energetic attitude.

When you got out of bed you stretched your whole body, your legs hanging from the edge, after a few minutes you finally stood and went to get ready for the day, the mirrors in the room covered and your eyes never on the windows... with slow pace you made your way to the bathroom, with the natural light made it feel more hollow, as if the walls were paper and anyone could break them to reveal your naked being. After a few hours you finally left the place, your steps leaving invisible traces where you pass, with a cape and hood that partially covers your face...

When they met you they always made the same comment in some way or another, their smiles and their kind attitude bothered.

"She looks too much like you!" the female voice with surprise examined your face, her eyes wide open, with her legs slightly bent to be at the same height, then, a somewhat hoarse laugh filled your senses, your frowning of discomfort was heading to the man less than 2 meters away with his arms crossed in the form of pride, he simply nodded not before ending that 'actually she looks more like her mother’, everyone simply accepted it and after some more comments they were going to do something else.

So he approached and with his thick arm rested on your shoulders, gave some words to make you feel better, messing with your hair and returned to his work, you jaded without feeling really upset and with no one around you immediately smiled until one hand took yours and carried you with the others while the sounds of talk and glass became just an indistinguishable buzz.

Years and years ago it was like that, right now even if you would give anything for someone to make the comparison you could not stand to see you, you could not let someone else see you. For being the living image of your father.

When the night finally took the city back into its clutches and with your day finished you walk through the dark streets, the occasional lights as a guide back to your loneliness and tormented thoughts. Each step is more difficult than the previous one thanks to both physical and mental fatigue but you need to continue, you must.

For the memory of your family and for your own good. Already in front of the door and with soft movements you take the key out of your pocket and put it in the lock, you open and pass in the main corridor to the house, your pupils dilated to capture as much light as possible in the sea of darkness and groping to turn on the spotlights you guide yourself from the wall. When you turn on the lights and go into the living room you sit in the old sofa and torn from some parts.

You inhale and take the aroma of moisture as well as the dust settled in some corners, squint your eyes and hear the small squeaks from outside, but this condition does not last anything thanks to a few blows on the door. Somewhat surprised by this you turn your head a little and you only observe the door darkened by the little light that comes to it, not long after the sound is repeated but with greater intensity and less time intervals between each blow.

Slowly you get up and walk toward the door, back in the hallway, your hand moves toward your back pocket and firmly grabs the knife that rested there. You bend so that your eye is at the same height as the peephole and focus, the only thing visible were two silhouettes and nothing else; no details. Nothing. For this reason you tighten the handle of the knife even more without responding or making another movement. One of the two figures moves more than the other due to the blows it gives while the other seems weak to give the impression that its silhouette is leaning on the other.

With squinted eyes you expect them to leave or if they insist, if they try to enter... Your blood is frozen when you hear your name on the other side of the door, the voice is desperate and extremely familiar, your eyebrows are contracting and your grip on the knife makes you feel your hand throbbing as the other little as you are leaning against the door. And again, like an echo, the realization of a heart eroded by pain like a stone before the water again, feels like the exact momement of your disgrace.

Without thinking your hand that is leaning on the door moves to wrap the handle and turns it to open, for an instant three visible figures invade your eyes and everything seems like the first time. You remember standing in confusion when you saw two colorful heads being carried by his two big arms, your gaze ran from top to bottom until his head bowed and raised his eyebrows, with this you moved to allow them to enter.

The person in front of you is the image of that girl whom you loved and lamented so much, the one to whom you dedicated so many sleepless nights and tears thinking that you should have seen her body, to give her a worthy burial like the others, a farewell. Perhaps it is time to accept that you are no longer in your faculties, which is one of the many tricks that your mind plays. But when those pupils meet yours and her hand rests on your arm everything becomes real.

"(__)" you hear the repetition with restlessness, thoughts at a thousand per hour. And all you do is stick to the wall and move the knife arm slightly. Vi notices this, her intermixed expression of feelings and emotions but she looks at her companion and both pass with weakness, being in the middle of the room you close the door, your body trembles, you do not blink fearing the passage of time.

With a warm smile he introduced you to the girls and asked for your help to attend them in the mean time he prepared something for them to drink, the tallest sat in the chair that you were using before waiting for your father, the other; with blue hair like her irises walked all over the bar admiring the details.

You bit your cheek and grabbed another of the chairs that were on the table, and next to the girl you sat and swayed your feet until after a while you started talking, at first she did not talk too much, giving answers of a syllable. On Vander's return, he put the drinks on the table, four in total and grabbed a chair of his own, turned it and leaned on the back of it. He started talking to Vi and Powder to make them more comfortable, some laughs found a place that night as well as a new home for them.

At last you leave the door and walk to the room to see the girls still in the middle as if they did not want to intrude more, when recovering some of your previous stillness you observe them and notice the agitated language of the two. The arm of the dark-haired one fully supported in VI, which only walks to the armchair and helps the other to sit there, her gaze rises until she meets yours again and everything feels real again, "(__)" again says before walking towards you and wrapping you in it tightly "(__)" it sounds like a plague, she separates a little and rests its hands on your cheeks. A strange touch.

"It is you" her swollen eyes fill with tears but the only thing you can do without having completely exited the shock is to blink "Vi?" it comes out on its own and you feel how your eyes are on the verge of being on par with hers, she nods and smiles half-way, tears already fall down her cheeks and with greater force she embraces you again, without another word you open your eyes processing everything that happens and slowly the hand with which you hold the knife drops it to grab her shoulder, your gaze falls for a second on the girl sitting on your armchair but simply rests on Vi’s pink hair.

Tears begin to fall from one moment to another, your whole body clings to hers so as not to let it go again and your senses drown in a great intensity that makes her secure you with words and more tact. In a span of half an hour they finally separate from each other, before you can say anything she turns to the girl, "I need… we need to stay for today" The struggle in her voice is quite obvious "Please" when you see those eyes you can’t say no, figuratively and literally you can’t settle for.

"You can stay here or sleep in my bed" you sigh and rub your jaw to squat and pick up the knife "That’s what I can offer ", she nodded "Thank you, really" and while standing you keep the knife in your pocket and watch the other girl more "Caitlyn, she's Caitlyn" Vi clarifies as you check her body and see the tears, in her clothes; the dirt on her face and her shaken face.

You squeeze the jaw and raise your shoulders "Whatever…" you inhale delicately "Do I take care of your wounds or can you on your own?" you say as you walk to the desolate kitchen, Vi puts her hands in her pockets of her jacket "We can" now an air of some discomfort settles "Where is... well... everything?" she asks and walks to the frame where a door should be to enter the kitchen and lay her arm there. "In the bathroom" as if her presence was the most normal you try not to see her and eat a few cookies "It is better for you to rest" you say and walk until you are face to face "So decide, the sofa or my bed". The urgency in your voice as well as your modes are strange to Vi but she decides to let them go by now "Don’t worry, the sofa will be like a delicacy" you step and see the floor, she moves and you go to the living room.

You walk to your room and grab one of the few bedspreads and come back, you stand next to Caitlyn and stretch the bedspread, she raises her gaze and appreciates your face for a moment "Thank you" she whispers to the grip and put it on the sofa, you notice like tears form in her eyes and her face contracts but she bends her head and puts her eyes on something else. The familiarity of this action makes your eyes show pity but you do not ask when you do not want to worsen the emotions that she's probably feeling "You're welcome" you say flatly biting your tongue "lI'l go to my room" you take a fleeting look at each one before making way to your bedroom, no one answers or moves, just following you with their eyes.

When you close the door of the room you cover your mouth and exhale with fear, this cannot be possible, Vi, alive but, how? As if you had been repressing all your pain, it hits you once more, memories beat and bleed as if there were no tomorrow. You saw your dead father… the others are gone and she was too.

At midnight and somewhat calm you smoked with the windows closed thinking and thinking when the door opened without further do, the brightness of the moon was barely able to discern the new presence but you did not react, too exhausted for that. You just watch and wait but don't talk until a few seconds later, "(__), Can we talk?" Vi whispers but sounds so clear in contrast to the dead silence that remained so the exhalation seemed like a jester but you whisper in confirmation and VI walks to the edge of the bed and takes a seat.

Before she can talk you take that opportunity "Where were you?" You wanted to scream, cry again, smile and hug her for days, feel relief, but the affliction was dominating you. "You were dead" your face begins to contract and your teeth cut your tongue. She closes her eyes and tilts her head with her hands against the bedspread "I know, I’m sorry… I thought I was doing the right thing and in the end I ended up doing more damage, I tried to go back with Jinx, but Marcus…" the emotions seem to be too much.

"And after so many years in that prison. When I left I tried to fix things, I was told that you were gone, even that you were dead" she breathed trembling and you know it by being attentive to the sounds, the view not very reliable at the time but what was allowed to see is how she tries to maintain her composure "Ekko tried to help us but-" what? Ekko what? You press the tip of the cigarette against the ashtray to turn it off and wait for her to finish but she does not. You blow and let go of the last smoke, another emotion invades you, a lasting feeling but embarrassed to admit, even for yourself.

You take the courage to say it out loud, in the end, all this has been very stressful. "I told you to wait for me" you started with a knot in your throat and your lungs burning "I told you to wait, we had everything to go" now you feel your pressure rise and your body moves to try to filter your state. "I know, I know… I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing, I didn’t know what else to do" she hurries to answer and slides to get closer to you, suddenly the room lights up thanks to a ray that announces the rain, there you see her face well and although only for a second it is like that, it is as if it has been engraved in your mind. You turn out your head and close your eyes with tears once again "No, you don’t know Violet" you open your eyes and bite your cheek "I thought they were all dead."

"Seeing that none of you were at home I ran to the damned place" Your words sound drowned and hardly come out with meaning "Only to meet my father’s corpse." you cover your eyes with the hand that previously held the cigarette "I did not even have the courage to see the bodies of others" Vi saw only listen with her heart about to break when imagining such a scene, repentance and guilt whispering inside, forcefully grab your hand, wants to listen, knows that she must.

When she moves his thumb to caress your palm a warmth envelops you slightly, you breathe with deep intention as more tears fall "When I returned, Silco had already taken the place with his followers, I had nowhere to go" you stop talking when you overwhelm yourself with everything, you bow your head, you breathe and breathe. "I had no idea (__)" answered Vi now in front of you and she hugged you again, "I'm sorry" Her hands squeeze your shoulders and take your smell, clinging to a part of her past with hopes that it hasn’t changed but inside she knows it’s impossible, she changed, Jinx changed and so do you.

"I wanted to blame myself, I wanted to blame you" you continue with heaviness "I wanted to blame everyone" you don’t give back the hug "I had a home and from one moment to another I had nowhere to go, I couldn’t even walk without being chased by those damned men and all for being my father’s daughter" the knot in your throat gets tighter "I couldn’t even be with Ekko because of the fear that the same thing would happen to him…" you pull away from VI. Another ray accompanied by thunder takes over the sky and the room lights up and reveals that both are directly seen when the darkness takes up its space "I also died that day" you clench your jaw and your teeth fight against each other "And now, after all this time you return without more?", "After years of crying thinking that I had turned my back on my family and that they had died because of that, you just knock on the door and bring an Enforcer asking for a place."

"It's not like that" Vi says and puts his hands on each shoulder "Then how is it?" Now you are the one who approaches "I wanted to look for you before", "And why didn’t you do it?" even though Vi understood your emotions, she couldn’t help but be frustrated by how you were behaving now "Because I looked for Po… Jinx, because I had to help Caitlyn and things happened" she says determined and moves her hands a little while they are still on your shoulders but you take them off with your arms, "And did you think it was a good idea to appear without further ado?" Vi buff when you stood up from the bed "I had no other choice (__), understand it" this for some reason makes you angry and you put your hands together creating fists "Option? Didn’t you have option VI?" You raise your arms and open your fists "You’ve always had options, Violet, but you always decide to take them without first thinking--.

With this Violet is equally annoyed and without standing only speaks with a tone that demonstrates this "Do you think I wanted all this to happen? I think about things but I decide to act, not just stand still doing nothing" you turn your eyes and walk through the bedroom raising your voice "And how did that work for us both?" VI comes back to jester, stands and crosses her arms " What do you mean?."

You bite your tongue and turn your back on it when you stop walking but you don’t answer, seconds pass silently before she asks you again, you turn around and watch her silhouette "Do you think I don’t blame myself too? Do you think I spent all those years in that shitty prison with a smile thinking about how I ruined everyone's life?" now she is the one who clenches her fists "Vander was also my father (__), you may think that because he was your biological father I do not feel his loss equally, but at least I tried to do something for him."

Without saying anything else she walks and opens the door to leave, leaving you with intense emotions and feelings, you sit in bed and cover your face, the bed shaking by the movements of your body. A few hours later you finally fall in surrender and the dream takes you in its arms.

The next morning you woke up before dawn and tired you went to the room with the surprise of seeing both of them sitting on the sofa, remembering the talk Vi and you u had hours ago you swallow some saliva, you continue your walk "You must be hungry" Caitlyn gets up and with the blanket in her arms follows you "You're very kind but no thanks" she turns around and sees Vi who lifts her shoulders and then rests her elbows on her legs, Caitlyn rolls her eyes before getting closer and giving you the blanket "Thank you very much, really" her lips create a little smile of gratitude and when she takes the blanket she closes her eyes for a moment and agrees, "It's nothing…" you narrow your eyes "Caitlyn" she stretches her arm and takes your hand gently when she starts shaking it.

""Of course, Caitlyn" you nod and stop taking her hand, she gives you a sympathetic smile again before walking, not without first saying that she goes to the bathroom to cool her face so you are alone in the kitchen for a few seconds, you leave the quilt on one of the bars and exhale putting your hands on the bar just a few centimeters from the quilt, You hear the footsteps of Vi behind you and close your eyes, swallow saliva again "It was not my intention to say what I said" you know it is better that whoever takes the conversation is you, it was always you who started conversations like this when both of them discussed things Milo said were very stupid.

"It’s just that, it was so sudden that you arrived; even now part of me thinks I’ve already gone crazy" a bitter laugh comes out of you without even moving to see your face "For so long I didn’t know what to do, my emotions were only getting worse" you grab courage and turn your body to be face to face "And when I saw you at the door… it was too much" she puts her hands in the pockets of her jacket and watches the kitchen "I understand what you feel, it was not easy for me either" she sighs with regret "I never thought you had that part in you" she smiles slightly "But I keep winning you, I wasn’t going to let you talk to me like that without giving you a spoonful of the same" finally she walks around and lays a portion of her back on the bar.

None of you speak for a moment, her presence being the only thing necessary to understand eachother. You try to understand what she has gone through and how it has affected her, you even come to compare situations with this new perspective. You think about any situation you have been in and imagine what it was of VI at the same time and that made your heart flutter. "Has anything changed between us?" You interrupt your thoughts to listen and now you travel to that topic, you have done it, of course.

"Do you want them to change?" The question could be taken literally but between the lines and between you knew the meaning of this, she busts with a smile and crosses her arms "Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you look at her and how she looks at you" you say looking at her from the periphery to see how her face matches the color of her hair and moves her head "I think we broke up without realizing it" now she crosses her legs and takes a more serious attitude and then talks "When all this is fixed… Can I keep seeing you?" Her melancholy tone seems as if she was saying goodbye.

You walk around and take your eyes to the floor "Maybe… just… that’s not like this time, ok?" now she laughs "You know me, pretty" when she finishes saying it, Caitlyn returns and Vi walks away from the bar.

After they talk they finally decide to leave and continue with whatever they have planned, the farewell becomes difficult but both are promised that things will improve. When opening the door of the house Caitlyn leaves first and now it is Vi's turn, you take a look and that way you say more things without the need to speak a syllable. You see them leaving and you feel something you never thought you would be able to experience again. Peace. Even for a second you feel it and think that things will improve, but it is a matter of time proving bad or good, the only thing you can do for now is wait. In the end a different kind of luck knocked on your door.

[annoyinglandmagazine]

Gil Galad Son of Fingon and Trans Maedhros prt 3

Remember what I said about this not being chronological? Yeah. This is set after the first part but before the second.

‘How?’ Maglor said quietly once all the others had stormed off to process. ‘Unless father was much less thorough than I’ve known him to be I think you know the answer to that question,’ Maedhros muttered darkly refusing to meet Kano’s eyes. Kano grimaced ‘that’s not what I meant and you know it. How could you be so careless? I’ve never known you to be this reckless before at the expense of political relations.’ Maedhros raised his head and spoke more clearly this time ‘how much detail do you really want? I’d remind you, you can’t forget things once they’ve been said and this particular issue I feel may be better off left vague for your own sake.’ Kano looked away a slight blush growing on his cheeks.

Maedhros continued ‘I was stupid Kano. I did consider the possible repercussions and I took precautions but I should have been aware of the margin of error. I was a mess and in love and I was nowhere near as mindful of consequences as I should have been.’ He broke off looking entirely at a loss in a way Kano hadn’t seen for years. ‘In love?’ Kano enquired into the part of the speech that had shocked him the most. ‘You mean this wasn’t a one off? You love him?’ Maedhros nodded his head imperceptibly with a sad little smile. ‘Well alright then.’ Kano mumbled in surprise, more that Nelyo had admitted it than at the fact itself. His brother was not the kind of person that jeopardised things for something he did not consider of some importance. Certainly not just for sex.

‘Well we’ve got to figure out some sort of solution. You must withdraw from leading your army yourself, at least once you’re a few months along.’ Maedhros looked like he was about to protest but Kano cut him off. ‘No absolutely not. This is non negotiable. You are pregnant Nelyo. I’m not having you do something stupid like try to fight while in labour. And don’t try to deny it I know you’d try that.’

Maedhros sighed and nodded ‘ok no combat after the first trimester.’ And it looked like it physically pained him to concede even on this seemingly obvious point. Then Caranthir re entered the room closing the door quietly behind him. He seems to have calmed slightly though still seemed on edge. ‘Ok then. You’re going to start showing so you’ll have to appear in public less. I can create some tunics and robes for you that will conceal it for a while if I play with measurements a little but it won’t be enough once you’re a while along,’ Caranthir stated matter of factly immediately inserting himself into the problem solving.

‘You’re going to have tell some people. At least one healer and a few of your generals to coordinate with the armies when you get too far along to do it yourself and it will be apparent enough to any servants in your rooms. Do you have people you can trust with this?’ Maedhros paused for a minute, taken aback by Moryo’s willingness to help all of a sudden. ‘I suppose there are a few who wouldn’t go running their mouths. They’d be loyal enough. But-’ and he broke off here seeming genuinely distressed ‘I can’t imagine actually telling them. Having them know and continue working with me afterwards.’

This point seemed to really bother him. It was not just about the fact that he couldn’t imagine letting people know he was in a physically vulnerable situation, though the whole process of pregnancy, the lost control and capability was bound to be excruciating for him. There was also the fact that the thought would no doubt occur to them that certain processes needed to be underwent to get to such into such a compromising position. And he never wanted these people who admired him for his leadership to look at him in that sort of a light. Combined with the matter that he had been accepted as a lord for a very long time now, and disliked greatly the prospect of acknowledging that he was not exactly like many other lords in physical aspects to the people who were meant to be his vassals.

‘What if I were to help run things for a while?’ Caranthir suggested sensing the plight of his brother ‘I mean I assume Finno can’t be spared from Hithlum and since I already know and will hardly think less of you for it. You will still need to tell a healer though. I would not make a good midwife.’ ‘What changed your mind? You seemed fairly put out before now.’ ‘Tyelko and Curvo agreed with me. I usually take that as an indication that I’m doing something wrong.’

[tired-old-men]

not really a question FOR the guardians cause doubtful they'd actually answer this in fear of their enemies knowing this but

do your guardians have any particular like

fears?

could be as silly or specific or serious as you'd like lol

Sojourner 

Well…This one was scared of thunder -points at Thunderhawk with a cheeky smile-

Thunderhawk 

-smacks his lips and rolls his eyes dramatically- Ugh, come on give me a break I was a baby..

Sojourner 

You were afraid of part of your name sake, you would cry and run for your mother like a little scaredy cat, all over some loud noises from the sky -chuckles-

Thunderhawk

I WAS LIKE 2!! What was I supposed to do put on a brave face and fight the sky?!!

Sojourner 

That would have been pretty cool actually.. -smirks-

Thunderhawk

-brings a palm to his temple with a sigh, while Sojourner chuckles like an idiot behind him-

✦ ~ :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✦ ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ~ ✦

As the legion sleeps the mun comes out to play and spill all the best guarded lore~

There’s this bit in the comics [KtE # 24] where Franklin D Roosevelt  Spectre in a speech states 

“It is my conviction that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert defeat into victory.”

Which gets me thinking of my favorite piece of literature coming from the Dune series which is the Bene Gesserit Litany against fear:

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

The concept of fear to a Guardian would be a complicated feeling as they would be trained on how to overcome fear; to be a Guardian they must be sharp physically, mentally, and emotionally. When your enemies are a whole optimized army, and the pressure builds up, being too afraid to act can be a deadly mistake, and after the loss of Aaron, the Guardian training plays an essential part in a Guardians development and survival skills. 

Yet… even with their extended lives and chaos abilities they are still mortal to a degree which makes fear inevitable. If not fear of the enemy, fear of what the enemy might do to innocent civilians, or even their own loved ones. The growing pains of fearing what Guardianhood would be like, fear of underperforming or not living up to the standards of their ancestors. Even just the fear of living replacing the fear of dying, the fear of culminating meaningful relationships, of making friends, falling in love, knowing they will live to see all their funerals. All inevitable facts of being born with the crescent chest, challenges that they face just by their own existence and role in their society. 

There’s also the lingering effects of unreasonable fears that stem from traumatic past events. There’s no shortage of trauma when it comes to the Brotherhood, I’d even say it’s been a trickle down effect since its inception with Steppenwolf’s own history. I imagine that the Brotherhood has a real love for their own family and are naturally protective of each other, so when Thunderhawk lost his daughter due to ‘illness’ It affected him deeply. So much so he tends to become overprotective and overbearing if someone in the family gets sick, even going as far as keep a night watch, his already anxious nature amplified by the fear of loosing someone like her again.

I cannot talk on the subject of fear without talking about my boy Spectre. The speech that he gave, to me is just telling about his own relationship with fear as a whole. When I think of the last line in the litany of fear “Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” I can’t help but think of him. Having to grow up with a ‘father’ that was cruel and harsh to him, to being kidnapped and tortured by The Dark Legion, to the perception of how his body looks from what the Legion did to him. Fear is something he is well acquainted with and has far surpassed due to years of mental discipline, as he is now he is a fearless force to be reckoned with. Yet… he is a father, a grandfather, and at one point a husband, so while fear does not control him he’s not void of all emotion. 

While he has a limited range of displaying his emotions; keeping expressions of his fear suppressed as to not give a the enemy the satisfaction of seeing him weak and afraid, there’s a reason he fights so hard and has such a high degree of discipline. To ensure that what happened to him, never happens to him or his family ever again.

I hope this answered your question some, didn’t get too crazy in specifics since I feel they can all relate on these fears, some more than others; also can’t give away too many secrets now The Legion’s always watching and there’s still fun to be had~ ;3c 

[aajjks]

mommy issues!JK

“another?! oh my gosh, i’m so excited jihyo!!” you say as you pull your friend into a tight hug. “next is zoey” says jihyo but she shyly shakes her head no.

“i’m not ready yet! i think once we get married, we’ll have tons of kids”

“speaking of marriage, when is the damn wedding, y/n?” lisa asks.

“probably next year. jungkook’s gotta heal and i gotta buy another engagement ring”

“another? why?” says alina who is just now noticing that you’re finger is without the beautiful diamond.

“someone probably stole it when i got in the ambulance. i got everything else back but my engagement ring”

“does jungkook know?”

“he probably didn’t notice but i’ll hear his mouth about it tonight”

“or something else with his mouth” smirks jihyo, wiggling her eyebrows to her further emphasize her innuendo.

“girl, he is handicap! we can’t do anything” you laugh but now it’s lisa’s turn to poke fun at yours and jungkook’s sex life.

“well, what about you guys? has mingyu and yugyeom been punching the clock?”

“girl, i’m literally trying to have a baby. of course mingyu has been punching the clock”

“yugyeom’s been busy so we aren’t intimate as much. what about you alina? eunwoo been doing you good huh?”

“leave me out of this. eunwoo and i are fine” says alina who turns her attention back to zoey as they carry on their side conversation. besides each other’s sex lives, you all gossip about work (except for you but that’s going to change) while the guys scream loudly about who’s winning and losing in their game of uno.

“how in the FUCK am i losing against a guy with one hand. HOW?!” curses eunwoo who again loses to jungkook who is laughing his ass of at his best friend. “you suck at uno, man” says yugyeom who is also laughing at eunwoo’s third loss. “whatever. i give up. you play, jaehyun”

~🫧

This night is actually the best one he’s had in a while. When Jungkooks parents are busy tending to Seol or Moon, the guys sneak in a few drinks.

This is Jungkooks third shot and he is not really supposed to be getting drunk but he missed this. Of course the girls aren’t really aware of the guys sneaking in the drinks, because you guys are too busy gossiping about things to notice.

It’s been a few hours now the guys are outside, mostly smoking, away from their children talking about life. “I still have no fucking idea who crashed into my car that night..”

Jungkook grunts, smoking with his left hand, which is a hassle by the way, he’s so annoyed. Eunwoo and the group exchange a knowing Look. “you guys have no fucking idea.. about how angry I am that I missed my daughter’s birth.”

They do get it… most of them are fathers anyway.however none of them can ever really understand the pain of missing witnessing their daughter’s birth because of fighting for your own life due to an accident 

And leaving your pregnant wife in pain. And helpless

“I can’t even imagine what yn went through all alone..” the alcohol isn’t really helping with his sadness. The guys listen to him intently.

“sorry for interrupting you but yes, she’s so fucking strong man… she was a bleeding mess and in labor… but she did it like a pro.”

Eunwoo chimes in and the truth is that he wasn’t even sure that he could respect you even more, but you proved him wrong once again-you make him realize just how right he was for wanting you to get together with his best friend

“Yns a champ. A fucking Superwoman.” Jungkook feels his chest swell in pride.

He will find those who caused the accident-and he will make that person pay.

•••

It’s 4 AM in the morning the guests along with his parents Have left, Jungkooks mother insisted on staying with you because taking care of an injured man with two kids isn’t easy, but you insisted that she take rest so they have finally left. And soon Jungkook stumbles into your new master bedroom. “Hi babyyy.” He coos.

He’s realising just now that you had to do the move all on your own too with little help. Jungkook feels so guilty because he failed to control car and you deserve a better partner.

Jungkook watches you smile at him as you open your arms to invite him in your embrace. Your embrace that he’s been longing for.

He climbs in the bed, the cradle next to your bed catches his eye. “Oh gotta be quiet….. our moon is sleeping.” Jungkook says before throwing his jacket off, and burying himself into your embrace.

His movements are sloppy but he’s missed you so much. Not paying attention to his injuries, he captures your lips into a needy kiss before you can say anything.

“Mhmm fuck missed you so much.”

[the-knight-of-the-stars]

Son of Neptune. First reading thoughts:

— Ok, I actually read this two months ago, but forgot to post it, so this is a short review, beacuse my thoughts are a little scrambled now.

—Let me tell you, when I got on the "Heroes Of Olympus" ride, I thought it would be a diferent story, with totally diferent characters and I was on board with it.

I went expecting AT MAX a cameo from Percy. Imagine my excitement when I saw "Percy" written in the firts chapter.

—I really missed Percy guys.

—And I really hate Juno

—“But be warned, you will sacrifice much! You’ll lose the mark of Achilles. You’ll feel pain, misery, and loss beyond anything you’ve ever known. But you might have a chance to save your old friends and family, to reclaim your old life.” BITCH EXCUSE ME?? JUST LET HIM BE HAPPY.

—Ok but, Camp Jupiter sounds so cool???!! I adore roman architecture, it was a delight to read about the temples, the baths, everything, ughhh. I kind of liked it more than Half-Blood Camp

—Ok, more new characters!

— I adored Hazel and Frank, I'm loving how unique and intereresting all the new characters are.

—My poor Hazel, like are we gonna talk about how she DIED?? In a horrible way??. She was dead for YEARS. And the whole thing with her mother losing her mind and the cursed stones, and all that wtf.

And she is super little too, she is like what, thirteen?? She is still a kid, most of the others are borderline teenagers by now (wicj is still horrible, but like??). She even has like, trauma black outs. Poor girl, I dont think we focused enought on how messed up everything she went through was.

— Also her powers are really cool. Like her power controling gems?? Earthbenders who???

—Frank was amazing too, I kind of guessed his father was Mars, and I love the contrast beacause Frank is adorable.

—All the buildup to his special power being turning into animals was AMAZING. That power is so incredible, I was so excited when the reveal happened.

—I love Percy so much. He takes ONE look at the god of war and is like "I may not remember anything, but I remember you're a bitch."

—Reading Mars claime Frank felt like watching that one kid's dad who was way too intense with anything regarding his child, and would passive-agressively fight with the teachers during school making it akward to anyone because nobody could tell if he did all that for his kid or for himself.

—The only thing Percy remembers is Annabeth HOW ADORABLE IS THAT

—Reyna was cool too, I thought she was a very fun and cool character, I hope we see more of her.

—Octavious was annoying af. He tried to be creepy but I know who you are sir, and what you are is cringe.

— You are telling that, while Groover was traumatized in The Lighting Thief because he had seen so many demigod kids at Camp Half-Blood die before they turned into teenagers, the vast majority of the demigods in Camp Jupiter were just... fine? Thriving? Living their lives?

—Not Nico pleading insanity the second he sees Percy and lying to his face. MY BOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

—The whole book it was hurting me that Percy didn't remember anyone or any past adventures.

—Loved Ella, such a fun character.

—AMAZON, is from the AMAZONS?? I... sure why not

—I was not expecting the circe island adventure to come back in any way, ever. It was pretty interesting to see that conflict with Percy, Reyna and her sister.

—Mars gave Frank... a zombie. Yeah, alright.

—It was so cool to see Thatanos, I was excited the whole book and it did not disapoint. I loved how he is potrayed, that aura, his beauty .

—AHA! THEY MENTIONED EROS (or cupid, whatever). SO YOU DO KNOW HE EXISTS, RIORDAN.

—"Death has more in common with love that you might imagine" Oh yes, give that methaphoric stoytelling to me.

—It actually caught me by surprise that death was a recurring theme on this book. Hazel and Frank coming to therms with their experience with mortality, the exploration of grieve, the almost philosophical discussions abut it (some even coming from Mars, wich has even more meaning) On top of the whole mission being to free the literal Death.

It was fascinating to explore characters with these themes, and it made a lot of the scenes between Percy, Frank and Hazel very touching.

—All the final battles were amazing, I enjoyed them a lot.

—Oh right, and Tyson was here! I loved to see him again.

—Okay the thing about Leo looking like Sammy is making my head hurt. Is it goint to turn out he is like his grandson or something?

—The way I screamed when the book ended. JUST WHEN THEY ARE ABOUT TO REUNITE.

—Ok, I've restrained myself from reading the next book for long enough, I'll go read it now.

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios University

“What the hell was that?”

Abe shook his head violently, trying to clear the overwhelming thoughts in his brain. That was like no tarot card reading that Roman ever tried. Was this ability granted because she was one with the spirits, or was it a common experience for the Bellamy family? Roman had often been curious about Malika’s extended family, but aside from that probably misaddressed message about goat sacrifice and a large jewel of some kind in a safe deposit box, the Bellamys were still a mystery to them.

“That was a warning!” Malika snapped angrily. “A call to change for the sake of your husband. That future may still come to pass. You and my heir may die in the childbirth process or have an unforeseen accident. Anything could happen and Roman will suffer for it.”

“Is that a threat?” Abe asked angrily. “Trust me, I had Theo in a much more dangerous situation, with you and your favourite demon literally trying to kill me. This kid is going to be born perfectly fine.”

Malika looked like she had an angry retort she wanted to scream, but after a quick pause, she collected herself.

“I sacrificed myself for the safety and happiness of my grandson,” she reminded him. If looks could kill, Abe too would be a ghost. “I gave you a chance and you’ve failed every test I’ve given you. How many times has that abomination almost died because of your negligence? I saved his life at the cost of my own and you let him nearly die alone in front of the demon sovereign, possibly killing others in the process. You’re unfit to be a father! You’re unfit to be a husband!”

Malika slapped another card angrily on the table and glowered at Abe as the world once again began melting away.

“Roman fears this loss more than anything, so take a good look at what it means to fail him.”

Abe blinked and in an instant, he was standing outside of the Bellamy house, watching a much older version of himself try to console a weeping Roman. Behind him stood the twins, once again much older than they were now, but just as familiar as before.

“It’s okay,” he heard his older self say. “He’s at peace now; your cards have told you that many times. He’s watching over us, I’m sure of it.”

The twins shared a skeptical look between them, but held their tongue. Clearly they weren’t as fond of Abe as they were in the other vision.

“I think I may have been talking to Theo yesterday on the ouija board,” Luciana offered quietly. “It said it was a demon and that it was missing our family. That has to be him, right?”

Adrienne rolled her eyes at this.

“That, or you’re just talking to one of Aunt Lucy’s ex-boyfriends,” she teased. “You have no idea of how to use one of those things.” She looked guiltily towards her father, reevaluating her mocking tone when she saw the pain in his eyes. “No, actually it was probably him. Theo’s always going to be with us in spirit, Dad.”

“It’s been years,” Roman sighed, tearing up again at the thought of his son. “I can’t even imagine what he’d be like now. He’d be in his twenties, dating and driving a car that I taught him how to drive. We’d have jokes and memories together. I’d have his high school graduation picture next to the girls’. He’d be a man instead of a dead little boy-my little boy.”

Tears once more overwhelmed Roman and the twins glowered intensely at Abe, demanding that he do something to help. Vision Abe reached out to hold Roman, but was pushed away.

“It’s fine, Abe. Don’t touch me.”

Abe flinched at the pain in Roman’s voice and the coldness he showed his husband. He could see a wedding ring on Roman’s finger, but when his double reached out to hold Roman, Abe could see that his hand was bare. There wasn’t a reason on earth that Abe would ever take off his wedding ring...unless their marriage had never happened.

“He was my son too,” Vision Abe said quietly. “You don’t have a monopoly on grieving for him. The six years we had him were the best years of my life. I miss him everyday.”

“It was your fault that he died!” Roman shouted, batting Abe’s outstretched hand away once more. “If you didn’t always push him away from us, he would never have run away! He would never have thought we didn’t want him and would still be safe at home with me! You would have never miscarried our second child if Theo had returned to us, but no! You had to be so hard on him; you had to punish him! Because of you, I’ve lost two children! Because of you, I can only breathe in the few brief moments after I wake up in the morning, before I remember everything I’ve lost because of you!”

“You yelled at him too!” Abe protested angrily. “You made him suppress his powers, just like I did. If we hadn’t, maybe he would have learned to control them better.”

“I did that because of you!” Roman yelled, fury written across his face. “Because you could never accept people who weren’t normal. People you should have loved unconditionally but never could! God forbid your son embarrass you with his true self and feelings! The last thought our son had in his short life was that we were ashamed of him and I don’t know how to live with that. If you somehow can, then you’re more of a demon than I could ever be.”

As Roman stormed away from Vision Abe, the twins turned their backs and followed quickly after him. Both Abes were left alone with a sad piece of marble marking the date that everything good in the Bellamy family had died. The gravestone was looking a little worn from the years, but the name was as clear as ever.

Theodosius Ulysses Bellamy. Age six.

Every year Roman took out Theo’s favourite toys from the shrine he kept in the house and placed them at the grave site, as if the spirit of their lost son might continue to play with them for the day. The older Abe had observed this tradition over the years and had gotten used to it, but the younger Abe was heartbroken at the sight. He had to escape this nightmare, no matter the cost.

“Malika! Get me out of here now!”

[lightningandfireinmybones]

Naturally as I sit and process the last chapter and ending of tdopom, I want to know your thoughts-

First, Daemon…

Obviously, he’s incredibly heartbroken since losing Rhaenyra. But part of me wonders if he would concede so easily to Valaena & Aemond? He was very actively trying to kill Aemond despite being Val’s husband and all…

I just wonder what the future looks like for him and what role he plays? What his relationship with the whole family looks like? We saw a snippet but I feel like there’s more. Kings Landing would be a toxic place for him.

Second, Alicent…

She obviously knows Aemond murdered Aegon (as well as all of Aegon’s own atrocities). How does a mother handle one son murdering the other and then goes on to become King Consort?! Talk about a whirlwind. Aegon was no angel but, as a mother, I would think she would feel some type of animosity (or deep conflicting emotions) for Aemond for murdering one of her children and his own sibling 🤷🏼‍♀️

Perhaps I’m thinking too deeply here but I just feel like both these characters experienced immense loss & pain. Both are “troubled” to put it mildly…I don’t see either of them “coming quietly” if you get my meaning LOL

no bc you’re right!! It was a messy messy ending for both of those messy messy characters and I don’t think it ends cleanly, they’re not just magically on board

1. Daemon: daemon is daemon. He’s grieving rhaenyra and realizing what he’s fought for his whole life is worthless without his love and he’s getting his baby girl on that throne, even if it means the one-eyed twat has one too, but he is so broken emotionally that it’s not just over there

I imagine him and aemond and Valaena having a real bloody confrontation later when the grief has waned a little for daemon, and he’s now realizing he has contributed to aemond on the throne, it’s something i was thinking about for a one shot follow up

ESPECIALLY since they didn’t name him their hand (why would they?? It’s be suicide for aemond lmao), daemon has to struggle again with what his place is and his role in a monarchy and family he is no longer head of

But he does love his daughters. He does love Valaena. And rhaena and Baela and Aegon and viserys. Now he has to figure out how to let go of his own issues with aemond and the throne (which are really just issues he has with himself) and focus on being a not piece of shit father now

Unfortunately for him that includes not killing the man who his daughter loves, the same man who saved his daughter when he could not, bc Valaena would’ve died too in the fight with Hugh and Vermithor if aemond and Vhagar hadn’t interfered, he has to reconcile the two

I imagine after this mess of emotion and ego and rage is sorted he might be commander of the city watch again and lean into grandpappy of Valyrian knowledge role, but it’s not overnight, it’s YEARS of work

2. Alicent!!! Alicent has just had her son be murdered. Granted, he was murdered bc he actively contributed to the essential (for the purposes of the story and world) murder of her favorite child’s (or at least the most parentified child) baby, nearly the death of the love of her favorite child’s life

This is something that she would’ve been behind aemond for doing 1000% if it wasn’t aegon he was doing it to

Again, this maybe an explore later oneshot (I was actually picturing a convo between Alicent and Valaena similar To that one scene in season 1 of GoT between Robert and Cersei, the loaded one if you know what I’m talking about) but Alicent has now seen the destruction her actions have wrought: not only was aegon objectively terrible, he hurt aemond. Aemond is what she created, someone to inflict vengeance and fight for his family, but Valaena is now his family too and she has to come to terms with the fact that her son is his own person

And aemond has saved helaena and has always been there and was doing what ended up being best for the realm, even if it is shattering to Alicent, who has her own very complicated feelings for her idiot son aegon

And now she’s sort of breaking free of this role Otto and viserys have pushed her into, seeing rhaenyra dead (it’s my world she has romantic feelings for rhaenyra and nobody can stop me!!) and aegon dead and the realm near ruin and it has a direct tie to her actions, she can no longer deceive herself into thinking she has done what is right and honorable anymore

For the first time, Alicent is facing her own consequences but also her own path! She can chose what happens next! And it’s terrible and it’s horrible but i also imagine a part of her is somewhat relieved,,, she no longer has to play kingmaker or fit into a box of a perfect pious queen to have worth,,, aegon her rapist son is dead but aemond is king and helaena and daeron are safe,,, it’s a lot of hurt and confusion and it’s not just over like that, NOW she has to come to terms with Valaena as queen and the legacy that she has wrought as she heals from viserys and otto’s influence and rediscovers herself as a person separate from her children and her husband and her father

For all that, I guess the moral is that it’s not done and clean I just chose to focus on aemond and Valaena for the end chapter lololol

[topazadine]

And the thing is that these nurses will use their power against anyone they judge, think has caused their own suffering, or whatever. (TW for medical trauma, medical neglect, slutshaming, misogyny)

When I was in high school, I suffered a ruptured hemorrhagic ovarian cyst. I was absolutely pouring blood. Drenched two of those puppy pad things. I straight up could have died, that's how bad the blood loss was. I'd been bleeding most of the day and only cracked and begged my dad to come get me around the end of the school day because I was literally hunched over on the floor, crying, chalk white from pain.

My idiot father took me to the peds ICU for some goddamn reason even though I was like 15 or 16 and absolutely should have been sent to the adult ICU for a ruptured ovarian cyst.

I told them, having been diagnosed with PCOS the year prior, that I thought it was a ruptured ovarian cyst because I'd read up on my condition and knew it was a possibility, and the pain was only on one side of my body. They didn't believe me because apparently I was just a dumb lying teenager.

Not only did the nurses ignore me in favor of oohing and ahhing over a newborn baby, but they catherized me, pumped my bladder full of fluid, and left me there.

For three hours.

While they "waited for imaging." With a little Tylenol to tide me over. Oh, thanks.

Imagine having a full bladder, for three hours, while you are pouring blood from an ovarian cyst, in immense pain, terrified of how much you are bleeding, scared and wanting your mom (my father was a bastard and absolutely no help, and my mom was off on a business trip), and the nurses just.

Ignore you. For three hours. Because they've got better shit to do I guess. Don't check on you except to throw another puppy pad under you and then leave again.

Then, I got imaging, and they realized, "oh shit you have a ruptured ovarian cyst and it's pouring blood," and suddenly they couldn't get me out of there fast enough. Like basically pushing me out the fucking door, telling me to take a Tylenol and giving me a permission slip to stay out of school the next day. No actual pain relief, no aftercare instructions, nothing. Just "oh well maybe it'll stop or something idk, bye."

It was only months later that I realized that they likely were "punishing" me because they thought I'd been having a miscarriage as a teenager. I wasn't even sexually active at the time.

They then realized they'd been totally fucking wrong after forcing me to lay there with a full bladder for three hours. That I had told them what it was and they had ignored it in favor of being judgmental little shits. And that if I wanted to, I could have gotten them all in serious trouble for ignoring a patient whose room looks like a murder scene while they busy themselves squealing over babies.

Being in the peds unit (again, my father is an idiot), they likely didn't even consider that it could have been ovarian cyst. But instead of, you know, consulting with literally anyone else, they shoved me in a room and ignored me because of their own prejudices. They likely believed I was lying about not being sexually active because my dad was there, because why believe a stupid teenager? Then when they realized they were absolutely wrong, they got me out of there as soon as possible so I couldn't protest.

It was an absolute nightmare, and I hate that they got away with it because I was too young and scared to call out their bullshit, and my father was useless.

(This was at Endeavor Health Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights, IL, around 2008 or 2009. I have no idea how terrible they are now, but I'd advise against going there because fuck them.)

On the plus side, though, it taught me to advocate for myself. Medical professionals have tried to use my mental illness against me multiple times - such as gaslighting me into thinking I'd signed up for group medication management when I distinctly remembered saying I wanted individual treatment - and I call them on it every fucking time. I have walked out of therapy appointments because of bad vibes. I get the ombudsman involved when I have to.

When doctors are extremely late, I go up to the receptionist and tell them to reschedule me and that this behavior is utterly unacceptable. I tell them that I will refuse to pay the copay if they attempt to charge me so they better get ready to eat the cost. And doctors hate it, and I absolutely do not care.

If your patients are always demons to you and calling your ass out, maybe YOU are the problem, not the patients. It's one thing to get a few assholes every once in a while. It's another thing if you're getting so many that you feel the need to get a little snarky pin.

You just better hope you don't run into a patient like me who is more than happy to get you in trouble for being an asshole.

surely it's not just me who finds those fucking "be nice, I'm in charge of the pills" pins you sometimes see doctors and nurses wearing in pretty bad taste right? like the *point* is a stand against being mistreated by patients but like...yea you are in charge of the pills and can arbitrarily deny care to people, not really sure why that's something to gloat about? like the number of stories especially of black women being totally denied painkillers in hospital and stuff because the nurses were assholes it's like....maybe you can have your snarky pins when you're not in the position to medically torture someone? idk

like you get people rushing to defend it like "you don't know what it's like working in a hospital" but like...i do sure as hell know what it's like being mistreated by medical professionals. I'm not even getting paid to be here. it's kinda fucking evil when you think about it for more than a second.

[terrifiesthem]

Is your muse afraid of death?

3. What is your muse’s biggest fear?

6. Does your muse believe in an afterlife? 

9. What is one thing that would break your muse? (I think I know the answer to this one but I wanna see if I'm right!)

12. What was the worst injury your muse has received?

13. How much pain can your muse withstand? For how long?

15. How often does your muse cry? Do they view it as weakness?

18. Does your muse think they’re capable of changing? Do they even want to?

(HURT ME, SKY!!)

character questions.

Is your muse afraid of death?

Not anymore. Him and Death are one and the same.

3. What is your muse’s biggest fear?

People getting close to him and him losing them just like his family. It's why Frank pushes people away so much. It's why he acts the way he does. He claims that he doesn't care when he cares so much with his entire being, and it's all because he's terrified of failing more people that are important to him. And he knows that his lifestyle can't afford things like friends when all people do is die around him.

6. Does your muse believe in an afterlife?

Sure. Frank thinks that his family is on the 'other side'. And he knows with where he's going, he's truly never going to be able to see them again. Whether that's Hell or whatever else doesn't really matter to him anymore. He left religion behind a long time ago.

9. What is one thing that would break your muse?

See 3 basically. There's been plenty of things that has left Frank broken. At that point you're basically just breaking the pieces into more pieces. The thing that broke him was his family dying and everything after has been shit, sure, but that? Nothing will ever compare to it. When you take away the pieces that Frank cares about by killing the people he loves, you're just leaving with a far more dangerous Punisher.

Not only that, but you can also break Frank by making him believe he killed someone innocent. When he believes that, there's very little stopping him from ending himself immediately. When he comes like the filth that had killed his family— the Punisher has no purpose.

12. What was the worst injury your muse has received?

In severity? Definitely the shot to the head and the brain damage from that. And then being put into a coma and not recovery properly afterwards. Now the one that'll affect him the most? Definitely the injury to his eye further down the line in his Punisher-ing. His right eye gets stabbed and he's forced to basically adjust EVERYTHING due to only being able to see out of one eye. It takes him a few months, but he gets it all down eventually.

13. How much pain can your muse withstand? For how long?

Okay so imagine a like stupid high pain tolerance. Okay now take that and times it by like, 10, and that's how much pain he can withstand. Frank can withstand a crazy amount of pain. A lot of that came from the Marines, but he also trains his body every single day in order to be able to take a hit. Like you can make him scream with something like a drill to the foot- but he can take pain until his body gives out basically.

15. How often does your muse cry? Do they view it as weakness?

Certainly a lot more than people would think. Like I said, Frank feels with his entire being even if he doesn't want to. Before his family died he was definitely the kind of person to cry at important events and other things. He actually expressed that pretty healthily which is a surprise considering he grew up in a military household with a strict father. You can thank his momma for teaching him a lot about toxic masculinity. Now you could expect him to cry mostly at loss. Does he view it as a weakness? No. Not unless whatever is making him cry is being used against him in a taunting way.

18. Does your muse think they’re capable of changing? Do they even want to?

Not since he accepted his role as the Punisher. He tried changing and leaving it behind in the beginning, but now? So it's not a question of whether he thinks he's capable or if he wants to- he simply can't change. Cause he kinda already did. And it was for the worse.