#could he have ever thought that 130 years in the future a young woman will see a portrait of him and love him a little

[hermesmultivitamins]

astra inclinant

im recovering from surgery and I went to take a nap and then I got a story bug about a b.echo breakup and four hours later this happened idk man

read on ao3 here

And I’ll take care of you

Along the way

My love one day at a time

We’ll leave our troubles behind

-The Hunts, Along the Way

~~~

In hindsight, there were dozens of times that she should have seen that it was over.

On the ring, he called out Clarke’s name in his sleep sometimes, occasionally muttering something about leaving her behind afterward. It was the times when he didn’t cry, when he smiled as if the dream involving his best friend was pleasant instead of the nightmare of leaving her behind, that left her with a sick feeling she tried to ignore.

Echo never mentioned it in the morning. Clarke was gone, and no amount of talking about it was going to bring her back.

(She tried not to let it hurt when he woke up and a flash of disappointment came over his face, as if he’d been expecting blonde hair next to him instead of brown).

Echo should have known--and perhaps did, but refused to accept--that it was over when the nightblood child said his name.

(In six years, seven months, and some odd days, she had never heard Bellamy’s voice as full of hope as when he said “ Clarke’s alive ?”)

The moment finally comes some 130-odd years later on a planet endlessly far from Earth.

She’s in a meeting with Abby, Kane, and Indra on the bridge of the ship when Emori bursts through the door.

“Abby, it’s Clarke,” she says.

Echo follows the rest to the hospital wing, unsure of what to do, and her heart breaks for both Bellamy and herself at the scene.

Clarke is laid out on the table, blood gushing from her side as Jackson works furiously over her. Bellamy stands off to the side, soaked in blood that that is not his own. He leans into Murphy, who appears to be half holding him back, half supporting him.

“Let them work,” she hears Murphy say to him. “She’s lived through worse, a little stab wound isn’t enough to take out the great Wanheda. Our princess is tougher than that.”

Suddenly, Echo knows she doesn’t belong in this moment, and with one last fleeting look at Bellamy, takes her exit.

Bellamy doesn’t return to their cabin that night, and in the morning Echo goes to check on him. Murphy is standing in the doorway, and updates her quietly on Clarke’s condition.

Clarke’s asleep on the bed, her heart monitor beeping gently. Her prognosis is good, Abby had said, the antibiotics should take care of potential infection and the wound would heal. And still, Bellamy had refused to leave her bedside. He sits in a stool, slumped over with his head pillowed on his arms that rest on the edge of her bed.

Murphy gives Echo a look full of pity, and as she follows him out of the room, she wonders for how long he’s known it was over for her.

~

Bellamy doesn’t take a break until Clarke opens her eyes, and even then it’s just to go get her some food. Echo stops him in the hall. She knows what he’s going to say before he says it, so she speaks first. At least she can do this on her terms.

“You’ll never care for me like you care for her,” she says. Her tone is without malice.

“Echo, I...” Her heart flutters for a moment, a brief hope that he’ll say she’s wrong.

“I’m sorry,” is what he says instead.

“It’s okay, Bellamy,” she says, and then: “Go. Be with her.”

~~

Jackson passes Echo and Murphy in the hall on his way to check Clarke’s vitals. He smiles gently at Bellamy’s sleeping form next to her. Nate had been right about these two.

“Bellamy?” Clarke says upon waking before her eyes even open. He’s there, holding her hand. Her eyes flutter as he sits up. “You shaved,” she says, bringing a hand to his cheek. “You look like my Bellamy.” He smiles as a tear rolls down his face, and says in a voice so low Jackson isn’t sure if Clarke even hears him: “I’m always yours.”

~~

John Murphy was a witness to the very first Clarke and Bellamy interaction (and many since), but this was by far the most ridiculous. The surgery to repair Clarke’s injuries had been fairly substantial, apparently making it difficult for her to sleep. Madi, ever the meddler, had casually let this slip while eating breakfast with Bellamy, who had immediately gotten up to have a word with Clarke about this. The solution to this was of course to have Bellamy stay with Clarke in her cabin.   Platonically . Madi bounced from room to room saying it was “so Clarke could sleep better”-Lindsay Lohan had nothing on this girl. On the fourth night of Bellamy platonically staying with Clarke, it was Murphy and Emori’s turn to take Madi. He was hesitant at first-he and Emori had been making up for lost time since they reconciled, but Madi’s doe eyes and the way she said “please Uncle John” were more convincing than if she’d pulled the commander card.

But of course, Madi forgets her sleeping clothes in Clarke’s room so of course Murphy has to get them because Madi and Emori are “girl bonding” or whatever.

Which is how he sees the most Ridiculous Clarke and Bellamy Moment of All Time.

Bellamy is asleep on his back, with Clarke tucked into his side. His arm is wrapped around her, his hand resting just below the area where she’d been injured. Her free hand was splayed across his chest, and Murphy could not believe that Bellamy, who was finally single and more muscle-y than ever after six years in space with nothing to do but exercise, was wearing a shirt while in bed with the woman he’d been in love with for literally over a hundred years.

Murphy laughs and grabs Madi’s pajamas, wondering if it would take the two leaders another hundred years to figure out what everyone else already knew about them.

~~

After negotiations with the Eligius Three decedents begins, Kane understands immediately why Harper and Monty had Jordan wake up Clarke and Bellamy first. They are natural partners, knowing what the other is thinking without words allow them to work seamlessly together in order to secure a future for their people.

It was impressive, how in sync they were, and for once, there were nearly no hiccups in planning peace, until of course, the issue of Madi comes up.

The leader-Artemis, her name is-of the Eligius Three people had listened to the story patiently, staying in surprising silence as Bellamy explains the history of the commanders and Madi’s role in it.

“So your child, she is the leader of your people?”

“She is an important figure to our people, yes. But she is a child. And we intend to let her grow up without the responsibility of leading her people.”

Kane does not miss the way Bellamy doesn’t correct Artemis when she indicates toward both Clarke and Bellamy when she calls Madi “your child.”

“Alright, Clarke and Bellamy of the Sky People, you have yourself a deal. You may establish a settlement here, on our land. In exchange, your doctors will train our healers, and we’ll work together to build a hospital.”

There was of course, more to this deal, but this was the gist of it.

Seemingly forgetting their status as esteemed leaders for a moment, Clarke turns and throws her arms around Bellamy. He lifts her up in celebration, spinning her around.

Peace, Kane thought, this is what peace looks like.

~~~

There’s not too much to do aboard a spaceship full of hundreds of sleeping people.

Monty had built a still, but thanks to his status as a new dad, he and Harper hadn’t had much of a chance to use it. But a few months in, Jordan was finally sleeping through the night, and Harper and Monty have the night to themselves. Monty would have never guessed he’d one day use his engineering skills to build a breast pump, of all things, but he had, and Harper was finally able to enjoy the moonshine Monty had made a year before.

All of the time without alcohol has killed their tolerance, and the young parents find themselves horrendously giggly after just one drink.

“Do you think Clarke and Bellamy will ever get their shit together?” Monty asks. Harper laughs into her pillow.

“The world was literally ending and they didn’t hook up. Besides, he’s with Echo,” Harper responds.

“Oh because that’ll definitely last with Clarke around.”

They both broke out into giggles again.

“That’ll be our project, when we get back to the ground,” Harper says. “Remember that movie Murphy kept watching on the ring? We’ll do that to them.”

“ Parent Trap ? That’s perfect--remember how Jasper used to call them Mom and Dad?”

For once, the mention of Jasper makes Monty smile.

“Sounds like a plan,” he says. “We’ll get Bellamy to cut his hair and then we’ll Parent Trap them.”

Harper rests her head against his shoulder. “Then maybe their lives will be as happy as ours.”

~~~

They name the town--upon Bellamy’s suggestion--after someone whom without they would have never survived long enough to find their peace, and the sign above the gate reads “Lincoln Village.”

Primary construction had finished, and with the help of the locals, the survivors from Earth finally had their settlement.

Not that they needed an extra reason to celebrate, but Murphy and Emori had selected they day that the last house was finished for their wedding, and the whole encampment came together to throw the biggest damn party any of them had ever seen. It didn’t start to wind down until well after dark, when Murphy carries his bride across the threshold of their newly finished home.

Still, some of the Earth survivors--who Octavia jokingly referred to as Earthkru--remain by the fire, roasting treats and trading stories.

Clarke leans against Bellamy, his arm wrapped around her as her head rests against his shoulder. Madi’s laying down with her head in her mother’s lap, her face one of intrigue as she listens to Bellamy’s story.

He can’t remember a time in his life where he felt so at peace, and for this moment, all of the hardship and struggle he’s faced is more than worth it.

Madi gasps--interrupting the story by pointing towards the sky. “Look! Shooting stars!”

She jumps up excitedly, and runs to find a better view with Octavia in tow.

“Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?” Clarke asks Bellamy.

He looks at the girl in his arms, and then at Madi and his sister, laughing at looking up at the sky through the trees.

“I wouldn’t even know what else I could possibly wish for.”

[tcfuselier]

Someone Else's Problem

Life is fickle and meaningless. Sounds morbid, yeah? Well, that’s because it is. The universe is 92.8 billion light years in diameter, and you don’t matter. Multiply your biggest dreams and most horrifying fears tenfold and they don’t even register as a drop in the cosmic ocean. My wife just left me. She’s keeping the kids. I still don’t matter, not to her or this Goddamn universe. These Baltimore roads are too bumpy and winding. They should’ve had smarter people design them all those years ago. I had to get out of the house. I couldn’t stand the sight of the wretched woman anymore. If I had stayed I probably would’ve killed her. You probably took that for hyperbole, but no. I would’ve killed her. I had to leave. The streets are decorated with ignorant people living happy lives. They don’t understand they're meaninglessness. Not like I do, at least. The pub is in sight now. I figure I might as well get hammered before I do it. No sense in being sober, that’s what I always say. O’Henry’s isn’t anything special. Four brick walls, a green roof and door, and a green neon sign that reads the pub’s name greet me as I park my café racer outside. The door is heavy but I’ve opened it many, many times before. It doesn’t slow me down. The room is warm and humid. Cigarette smoke and sexual tension cloud the space and make it difficult to take in. A full-length bar lines the left side of the room while tables and booths fill the space to the right. Waiters and waitresses scurry to and fro, doing their best to please the sad, lonely people so that they might receive the last of their drug money as a tip. A tall, muscular man stands behind the bar. He sports facial stubble and sharp features. I’ve always envied him. He’s what women would call “classically attractive.” That’s Peter Goodman, the bartender. As I approach the bar, his face lights up. “Hey Freddy, what can I do you for?” he says in his Bostonian accent as I take a seat next to a bearded man in glasses. He smelled of wine and cheap perfume. “Well, Rebecca is leaving me, so whatever will get me really drunk really fast.” “Jesus, Fred, what the hell happened?” “Jesus? He's got nothing to do with this, I promise you. She didn't like my habits,” I said, eyeing my rum and coke. “Well okay then, don't you think drinking these problems away seems counterproductive?” “Peter, shut the hell up. I don't need life coaching from a bar monkey. I'll let you know when I do.” I hopped off the rickety barstool and headed for one of the two-person tables across on the right side of the bar. I sat down with my head hanging solemnly, my fingers tracing the grain of the wooden table. Behind me I heard two men arguing over their card game. In front of me, two young lovers held hands. Disgusting. I had half a mind to go off on them; tell them it wouldn’t last. Eh, it’s not my place. They’ll figure it out eventually. Finally, after twenty minutes of waiting, the waitress arrived. Boy, did she arrive. Approximately 5’3, maybe 130 pounds, brunette, nice figure and stunning features. “Hi, my name is Victoria. Is there anything I can help you with?” I was stunned. I could barely croak out an, “I’ll have a rum and coke.” She smiled and walked past, the scent of autumn and warm berries trailing behind her. She must be new. This is my usual bar and I’ve never seen her before. I would’ve noticed her. I promise I would’ve noticed her. Moments that seemed like eons pass and Victoria comes bouncing back, my liquor in hand. “Thank you.” I manage as she bounces away as quickly as she came. Suddenly thoughts of my wife subside, what a wretched witch, and are replaced by sweet, young Ms. Victoria. I have to find out more about her. She has to be mine. She will be mine. Days pass, weeks. Each day I return to O’Henry’s and each day, Ms. Victoria serves me my rum and coke. She never says anything more to me than to ask for my order, but she never has to say more. She says it with her eyes. I love Ms. Victoria and I know she loves me too, I can see it. She must love me. She will. She creeps her way into my fantasies. I dream of her every night. My mind begins to wander, and where it goes there too I am. Increasingly it is drawn to her, so with her I am. My favorite is picturing our future together. We’ll live a lovely life with our children. I’ll no longer struggle with alcohol. She will replace my desires. I want her. I need her. I will have her. I decide that I no longer can keep these feelings to myself, but I certainly cannot share them with Ms. Victoria. I cross the room to find Peter at his usual post, wiping down glasses behind the counter. Why are bartenders always wiping glasses? What an odd trope. “Say Peter, what say you about the brunette?” “Who?” “The brunette across the bar,” I said, motioning ever so slightly towards Ms. Victoria so as not to alert her to my talking about her. “I believe her name is Victoria.” “Oh Victoria? Yeah she’s pretty new. Very sweet girl. Not a bad looker either, if I do say so myself.” said Peter, eyeing Ms. Victoria up and down. I did not like that. In fact, I hated that. Peter always pisses me off. I do not like Peter. “Goodbye, Peter.” I said pushing open the large green door and exiting the pub. “Goodbye, Mr. Frederic.” he replied. I returned to the motel I have been staying at and pulled my laptop from my bag and proceeded to find out everything I could about Ms. Victoria. Victoria Long, age 23, attending the University of Maryland as a journalist. She’s a wordsmith like me. I like that. I wonder if she writes about me like I do about her. That’s preposterous, she doesn’t know me. We are in love, however. Very madly and deeply in love. Finally, the words that I have been looking for scroll across my screen. 8260 Westmeadow Dr. Her address. Now I know it seems mad. Maybe it is. Maybe I am. But what if something were to happen to Ms. Victoria? I have to know where she lives. I have to protect her. I continue to frequent O’Henry’s. Days turn into weeks and I’m rapidly falling more deeply for her. By now I’ve mapped every inch of her face; her everything. I know her better than her own mother. Peering into her eyes is like peering down the rabbit hole and into Wonderland. I feel like the Mad Hatter and she is my Alice. I cannot wait for her to be mine. She is mine. I can’t help but notice, however, young Peter Goodman behind his bar. I see the way he looks at her. The way he flirts with her. It’s disgusting, really. He doesn’t even know her! Not like I do. I wonder if her writes to her like I do. I wonder if he thinks about her like I do. I wonder if he loves Ms. Victoria as much as I do. He can’t. There’s no way. How dare he disgrace such elegance and beauty with his tainted stare? I cannot allow such disrespect any longer. Peter must be dealt with. Peter will be dealt with. I never really liked Peter. The next day came. I sat in my usual seat with my rum and coke. 2 AM rolled around and it was time for Peter to lock up. The rest of the staff had gone home and only Peter and I remained in the smoky establishment. “Alright, Mr. Frederic, it’s about that time. Why don’t you go ahead and finish up your drink and we can head home.” said Peter, ignorantly. “Sure thing, Pete.” I said, slamming the last of the liquor. “Say, Pete, you mind if I ask you something strange? About Victoria?” The hatred must have been clearly evident on my face. “Ummm, yeah, what’s up?” “What’s with the way you’ve been eyeing her? She’s mine.” “What? Vic and I have been dating for a few weeks now, what’s your problem?” “She’s. Mine.” I said, quieter and more forcefully this time. “Listen, Fred. You’re drunk and starting to get belligerent with me. I’m going to have to call the police.” He reached for the bar phone, but I had other plans in mind. In one fluid motion I smashed the bottle of Jack Daniel’s sitting on the counter and drug the jagged bottleneck across Peter’s neck. He reached for his throat, clenching as blood began to seep through his fingers. He tried to scream, but only garbled grunts seemed to come through. I had made sure to sever the vocal cords. Peter collapsed, eyes agape, behind his beloved bar counter. I made quick work of the body, throwing him into the dumpster out back. I was never one for proper burials, especially for pricks like Peter. Now to find Ms. Victoria. I locked up the pub for Peter (obviously he was slightly preoccupied with, you know, death) and took off on my motorcycle. I made quick work of the winding Baltimore streets until I finally came to a stop outside 8260 Westmeadow. It was a small, 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom home. She lives alone, I know that. I sneak in through her bedroom window. There she is, fast asleep. I stand and watch her for what seems like a few minutes but is more like 2 hours. “You’ve been a naughty, naughty girl, Ms. Victoria.” She shoots up in bed. “Fred? From the bar? What the hell?” She yells, still slightly groggy. “You’ve gone and cheated on me with that prick Peter, you whore.” I walk toward her bed. “Fred, listen--” “No you listen, bitch. I’ve had enough of you playing with my emotions.” I reach into my bag until my hand finds purchase on my 9mm. I draw the firearm and chamber a round. “Fred, please--” “SHUT UP!” I yell. “I loved you, and this is how you treat me?” “Fred I don’t--” is all she managed to whimper before I pulled the trigger. I emptied 8 of the rounds of the 9 round capacity magazine into Ms. Victoria. She deserved it. All she had to do was love me, but she couldn’t even get that right. I fled the house as quickly as I could. I don’t bother to clean up. It doesn’t matter anymore. I return to the motel. Inside my room I sit on the neatly made bed. The room was old yet well kept. A small bathroom to your left as you enter the room, the bed to your right with a T.V. across from it. Simple. Quaint. Enjoyable. I held the firearm in my right hand. She was the only reason I didn’t do it all those weeks ago. She was gone now. Dead to me and to the world. It doesn’t matter anymore. None of it does. Big universe, remember? I figure this gun is the best way. It’s quick and virtually painless. I suppose I’ll be a messy clean up. I’ll once again become someone else’s mess. I’ll be someone else’s problem. I’ve never been one for poetry, but I think that’s pretty poetic. “He died how he lived: as someone else’s problem.” I raise the gun and place the barrel in my mouth with the muzzle facing the sky. It’s cold. I pull the trigger.

[misunderstoodmoor]

While You’re Waiting

FEBRUARY 18, 2019 ~ JERUSHA CLARK

“By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed, and went out to a place he was going to receive as an inheritance. He went out not knowing where he was going. By faith he stayed as a foreigner in the land of promise living in tents with Isaac and Jacob coheirs of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose architect, and builder is God.” – Hebrews 11:10

“I wait for The Lord, my whole being waits and in His word, I put my hope.” -Psalms 130:5

There is probably no struggle that is more universally common than waiting. Man and woman, young and old, layperson and professional, Christian and non-Christian, no person escapes the human experience unscathed by periods of waiting.

Either momentary or lifelong, all of us wait with hopeful expectation of something to come – Christmas, dinner reservations, the five seconds to skip YouTube ads, “fast” mobile app orders at Starbucks, marriage, children, healing, provision, deliverance, freedom, restoration, the end of a brutally difficult season, success, acceptance, the return of Christ…

We start confidently, assured we heard God say, “I will,” and give Him all due glory at the fulfillment of the promise. However, as the in-between becomes progressively long and arduous, our restless discontent fills the passing time and we internally voice what we fear would articulate a lack of faith should we ever say it out loud: “But when?”

For one reason or another, we become idle in our dissatisfaction. For some, doubtful onlookers can be the culprit. There’s just something about a scoffer’s cynical remarks that derails positive momentum, sending us spiraling down a rabbit hole of discouragement when our long-awaited promise remains abstract.

Perhaps intimidation is the offender. The sheer enormity of a task that is unachievable by human hands alone terrifies us into believing that we misheard God. And, at the greatest extremes of our desperation, we conclude impossibility to be the only reality, and do nothing to remedy our doubt.

Or maybe, just maybe, our hopelessness is because of uncertainty. Simply put, “What if I really am wrong and completely missed God? What if my persistent faith and waiting has been for nothing, leaving me to discover I wasted so much time…again?”

At some point we open our eyes to a ray of hope and regain enough strength to quote timeless verses that have carried us through before:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.” -Romans 8:28

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declared the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”-Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

We find enough encouragement to run more lap of the race, but alas, we are still waiting…

A mentor once told me, “If you ever find yourself waiting on God, you’re in good company.” Having no frame of reference at the time, I have come to understand that she was alluding to those featured in Hebrews 11. Dubbed the “Hall of Fame of Faith”, the author uses the early verses of this chapter to give terse accounts of those who acted in faith by responding in obedience to God’s call. It is Abraham’s profile that struck me most:

“By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed, and went out to a place he was going to receive as an inheritance. He went out not knowing where he was going. By faith he stayed as a foreigner in the land of promise living in tents with Isaac and Jacob coheirs of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose architect, and builder is God.” – Hebrews 11:10

Abraham’s story is found in Genesis chapters 12-25 and through it we find the resolve to press on through our seasons of waiting. While awaiting the promise he was to receive, Abraham’s response to God’s call was active: he obeyed and went.

Somewhere along the way, we’ve misinterpreted waiting on God as an invitation to disengage. We have mistaken waiting to be passive, implying that we should do nothing while occupying the space between if-and-when.

This is the enemy’s most dangerous weapon of attack against you during seasons of waiting. As an idle life is his workshop, he banks on you doing nothing. It is imperative then that we intentionally guard ourselves against the potentially mindless traps that prime us for being creations of his handiwork: multi-day binges of our favorite TV sitcoms; incessant napping; scrolling, closing, and immediately re-opening social media apps as though something life changing was posted in the few seconds our eyes were away from our phones; texting that “you-were-never-good-for-me-and-I-was-never-good-for-you” ex. Or easiest trap to fall into, simply doing nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.

This is not a judgment against Netflix, Instagram, or the rest. It is a warning of caution to be mindful of superficial and seemingly innocent habits that we use to pass time as they can and will be the environment the enemy uses to launch counterproductive weapons that he hopes will destroy our faith, and ultimately, us in the process.

What then shall we do? Using Abraham’s example, we find the posture we are to occupy in order to experience peace and be faithful stewards during our seasons of waiting: we are to listen, obey and worship.

He listened.

“Now the Lord had said to Abram: Get out your country, from your family and from your father’s house to a land that I will show you.” – Genesis 12:1

Abraham left his homeland not knowing where he was going. In order to arrive to his place of promise, he had to keep his ears and heart tuned to God’s voice in order to receive instructions.

Turn here. Stop there. Slow down. Speed up.

A beautiful dance of keeping in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:16).

If we’re honest, some of the anxiety surrounding our seasons of waiting result from not being good listeners. Listening requires patience. Patience to seek Him. Patience to wait for His response. Patience for confident and clear discernment.

Could it be that this season of waiting has been divinely designed by God Himself to teach you to slow down long enough to accurately hear and discern His voice? To remove anything, or anyone, competing for His voice in your ear and place in your heart?

Use this time to do that. Your promised inheritance is contingent upon being able to accurately discern His voice and His prompting.

He obeyed

“So Abram departed (in faithful obedience) as the Lord had directed him; and Lot (his nephew) left with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran.” – Genesis 12:4

Nothing is more bone chilling for me than this verse: “So Abram went.”

There was nothing tangible or visible that indicated God would fulfill His promises to Abram. A citizen of a pagan nation, Abram did not even have a history with the God who called him. There was no previous track record he could replay in his mind that would justify, let alone inspire, such a bold move. Nevertheless, he took God at His spoken word and in blind faith, obeyed. And it was credited to him as righteousness.

If listening to God’s voice is the first step, obeying His voice is surely the second. To quote Priscilla Shirer, “God does not speak to be heard. He speaks to be obeyed.” Perhaps some of our discontent during times of waiting is because we have yet to be obedient to the last thing He told us to do. God works in steps and He will not give you the next, until you’ve obeyed the first.

He worshipped

“Then The Lord appeared to Abram and said, “I will give this land to your offspring.” So he built an altar there to The Lord who had appeared to him.” -Genesis 12:7

Worship is often thought of being limited to the songs that are sung on Sundays. While this is an expression of worship, the broader and more inclusive definition of it is that which you are willing to offer to an object based on what you believe it to be worth. In fact, the English word worship is derived from the Anglo-Saxon weorþscipe, which means, “worth-ship”. In Scripture this is often represented by building altars. Building altars allowed the worshipper to put God in His rightful place and to focus their perspective on the truth of His character…

What we are willing/not willing to offer or give up is an indication of what we believe that thing or person to be worth. Whether or not we consciously acknowledge this process, we all evaluate the worthiness of something by considering if what we are going to give up is worth the exchange. When dating, we question if the person is worth the exchange of our time and energy. When considering a new job, we evaluate if the salary is commensurate with our experience and qualifications. When choosing to trust, we debate if the person is worth our vulnerability. When being called to let go, we question if what we are relinquishing is worth what we will get in return.

The same is true of God – what you are willing to offer Him is an indication of what you believe He is worth:

If God is Sovereign, then He is worth our submission.

If God is faithful, the He is worth of our devotion

If God is loving, we will offer Him our hearts

If God is trustworthy, then we will offer Him our obedience

If God is worth celebrating, then we will offer Him our praise

If God is our provider, then we will offer Him our resources

If we esteem God as Holy, then He is worthy of letting go of our temptations

If He is a comforter, we will give Him our emotions

If He is omnipresent, then He is worthy of our undivided attention

If He is the God that never sleeps nor slumbers, then He is worth the wait

If God is the One true King, then He and He alone is worth our allegiance

If He is Savior, then He is worth our repentance and surrender

True worship then is a response to the worthiness of God and not contingent upon circumstances. This is by no means an attempt to minimize or make light of the pain, frustration, loneliness and heartache experienced during these times. It is instead an opportunity to surrender these emotions to God and examine them through the light of His character (see Luke 7:38). It is also a safeguard against wayward wandering and complete derailment.

To explain, that which we worship controls the seat of our attention and affections. You can be sure then that the enemy will deliberately strategize an attack to distract, discourage and dissuade us from genuine and sincere. If he can improperly focus your attention or emotions on anything other than God, it is only a matter of time before your spiritual vitality becomes weakened at the hands of idolatry (Psalm 115:4-8). And ironically, it is often the thing that God has promised us that we begin to idolize.

It is also worth mentioning that sometimes the best thing we can offer God during these seasons is to surrender the expectation of timelines. In doing so, you are restrained from taking matters into your own hands. To be sure, it is imperative to resist the temptation to manufacture your own miracle while you await the fulfillment of His promise. Nothing is worse than waiting on God, other than wishing that you had.

In acronymic form, we quite literally see that Abram’s response to his season of waiting was to get l.o.w.By bowing down before God, Abram communicated His dependence, submission and obedience to the God who called Him. If we are to endure our seasons of waiting, we too must do the same.As a result, your heart becomes the altar on which you offer your life as an acceptable sacrifice of worship (Romans 12:1).

Listen to what He says and be patient for Him to speak. Obey what He says, following Him in faith. Worship Him in spite, for He alone is worthy.

Wait for God. And while you’re waiting, wait well.

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction, be persistent in prayer.”-Romans 12:12

“But as for me, I will watch expectantly for The Lord; I will wait for The God of my salvation. My God will hear me.” -Micah 7:7

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, The Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might, He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous men stumble badly, yet those who wait for The Lord will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” -Isaiah 40:28-31

[clefspeare99]

Answer all! 200-1

Oh man, haven’t done one of these in ages, well here you go!

200: My crush’s name is: Savannah199: Iwas born in: 1995198: Iam really: Caring197: Mycellphone company is: T-Mobile196: Myeye color is: Brown195: Myshoe size is: 13, sometimes 13 ½ depending on the brand194: Myring size is: Umm, 7 I think? My class ring is a 6 ½, but only fits on mypointer finger193: Myheight is: 6’2192: Iam allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of191: My1st car was: 2012 Dodge Grand Caravan190: My1st job was: Chuck E Cheese189: Lastbook you read: Dragons in Our Midst, Circles of Seven188: Mybed is: A Queen, and feels too large, have been used to a twin all my life187: Mypet: 2 dogs, Gizmo and Stitch186: Mybest friend: Hmm, don’t really have one right now if I’m being honest. Havesort of grown away from most everyone, nothing against anyone, just atransition phase right now, and I’ve always been bad at keeping in touch orjust hanging out with people.185: Myfavorite shampoo is: I use Head & Shoulders, all I’ve ever used, wouldn’tsay favorite, it’s just a good brand.184: Xboxor ps3: Nintendo Switch183: Piggybanks are: Cute, but kind of useless182: Inmy pockets: Nothing currently181: Onmy calendar: Don’t have one180: Marriageis: Very sweet and special179: Spongebobcan: Be very strange178: Mymom: Is a wonderful woman177: Thelast three songs I bought were? I don’t know what song I actually lost bought,I just get my music on youtube.176: LastYouTube video watched: 2017 League of Legends World Championships175: Howmany cousins do you have? A lot, um like 17 I can think of off the top of myhead?174: Doyou have any siblings? Yep, 2, a brother and a sister, both younger than me173: Areyour parents divorced? Nope172: Areyou taller than your mom? Yes, quite a bit taller171: Doyou play an instrument? Nope, did drums in elementary school, stopped in middleschool because I would have no other electives all year if I did band andchoir.170: Whatdid you do yesterday? Work, and saw Kingsman The Golden Circle[ I Believe In ]169: Loveat first sight: Lust yes, love no, you build love with someone, not somethingyou can immediately have in my opinion168: Luck:Yeah, occasionally167: Fate:I believe God has a fate for all of us, something we will learn eventually166: Yourself:Definitely165: Aliens:It’s possible with how many millions of stars and planets are out there.164: Heaven:Yep163: Hell:Yep162: God:Yep161: Horoscopes:They are fun and interesting, though I don’t put any faith in them160: Soulmates: Yeah, why not159: Ghosts:Meh, never really have.158: GayMarriage: Yeah, why stop 2 people from being happy together?157: War:Is something that shouldn’t be needed ever.156: Orbs:Not sure what this is referring to, so I guess no?155: Magic:There is illusion magic, but no actual magic like in fire emblem or other videogames.[ This or That ]154: Hugsor Kisses: Why not both?153: Drunkor High: Neither152: Phoneor Online: Online151: Redheads or Black haired: Red head all day150: Blondesor Brunettes: Brunettes149: Hotor cold: Hot148: Summeror winter: Summer147: Autumnor Spring: Colorado Autumn, Spring most anywhere else though146: Chocolateor vanilla: Vanilla145: Nightor Day: Night144: Orangesor Apples: Apples143: Curlyor Straight hair: Curly142: McDonaldsor Burger King: Mc Donald’s fries, Burger King burger141: WhiteChocolate or Milk Chocolate: White Chocolate140: Macor PC: PC139: Flipflops or high heels: Neither, always wears tennis shoes138: Uglyand rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor, you can stop being poor, it’s a lotharder to stop being an ugly person(I’m referring to personality)137: Cokeor Pepsi: Pepsi136: Hillaryor Obama: Obama I guess, though I’m not big on politics135: Burriedor cremated: Never really thought about it, whatever’s cheaper? Don’t need myfamily pouring out money after I’m dead XD134: Singingor Dancing: Singing, have always loved choir, and I suck at dancing133: Coachor Chanel: Not sure what either of these are, clothes or something?132: KatMcPhee or Taylor Hicks: Also not sure what either of these are, guessingsingers of some sort131: Smalltown or Big city: Small town, though able to drive to the big city130: Wal-Martor Target: Target129: BenStiller or Adam Sandler: I only recognize the name Adam Sandler, so him Iguess?128: Manicureor Pedicure: Have never had either, so don’t know.127: EastCoast or West Coast: West Coast, because Disneyland, which is better thanDisneyworld because it has Walt’s personal touch.126: YourBirthday or Christmas: Both are close in timing, but have to go with Christmassince everyone is just generally in a better mood125: Chocolateor Flowers: Chocolate124: Disneyor Six Flags: Disney 100% not even close123: Yankeesor Red Sox: I’m not big on sports, don’t really care either way[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War:Was sort of asked earlier, still think the same, it should never be needed121: GeorgeBush: I don’t know enough to have an actual opinion on him120: GayMarriage: Why not let people be happy together, it doesn’t hurt you.119: Thepresidential election: Is clearly broken after out last election, how can thismonster be given power at such a high level when he is clearly hateful anddoesn’t understand the general populous?118: Abortion:Mothers choice ultimately117: MySpace:Does this site even still exist? I never personally used it116: RealityTV: It so fake it’s not even funny115: Parents:Do their best for their kids114: Backstabbers: Are some of the lowest people113: Ebay:Is slowly getting eaten alive by Amazon112: Facebook:Is just sort of a time waste, but also lets you connect from so far apart111: Work:Should be fun, not something that you hate doing110: MyNeighbors: Don’t know them, just moved here109: GasPrices: Are nice and low currently, still kind of high in California though,but can’t complain much108: DesignerClothes: Are over rated107: College:Is a money suck unless you know for sure what you want to do, otherwise youwill be in debt with something you don’t want106: Sports:Are kind of fun to watch, but generally very, and I mean very over paid105: Myfamily: Are always there and rather supportive104: Thefuture: Is looking good, have an interview at Disneyland on Tuesday![ Last time I ]103: Huggedsomeone: If all the kids at Chuck E Cheese count while I was in the Chuck Esuit, then tonight, otherwise then it would be about a week ago when my grandmaand grandpa came out102: Lasttime you ate: Had some pizza at work tonight101: Sawsomeone I haven’t seen in a while: This week, hadn’t seen these grandparents inabout 8 years.100: Criedin front of someone: It’s been a while, can’t remember99: Wentto a movie theater: On Saturday, saw Kingsman: Golden Circle98: Tooka vacation: Back at the end of June, went with my family to Paris for a week,go to go to Euro Disney, was a lot of fun.97: Swamin a pool: A week or two ago, have one in my backyard now so can go whenever Iwant, so long as it’s not too cold out.96: Changeda diaper: about a month and a half when I was with Aubri95: Gotmy nails done: Never have94: Wentto a wedding: Not sure, maybe my Uncle’s weeding like gosh 9 years ago?93: Brokea bone: Well I fractured my arm when I was 12 or so, haven’t actually broken abone though92: Gota peircing: Never have, no real plans to91: Brokethe law: Minus going a bit over the speed limit I can’t think of a timehonestly90: Texted:A few days ago with support at Uber trying to figure out an issue with myaccount[ MISC ]89: Whomakes you laugh the most: Savannah used to, after moving no one in particular theselast 2 months88: SomethingI will really miss when I leave home is: Solitarity, is that a word?87: Thelast movie I saw: Kingsman: Golden Circle86: Thething that I’m looking forward to the most: Job interview on Tuesday85: Thething im not looking forward to: Job interview on Tuesday84: Peoplecall me: Josiah, Siah, Clef(gaming friends)83: Themost difficult thing to do is: be genuinely honest with everyone82: Ihave gotten a speeding ticket: Nope, got a warning once since I was 9 over in a45. It was 2 am, and one of my headlights was out, only reason he pulled meover with a warning81: Myzodiac sign is: Sagittarius80: Thefirst person I talked to today was: Danny, they woke me up cause I was supposedto drop her off at the mall79: Firsttime you had a crush: First crush was probably Megan Conrad, had a crush on herin 3rd grade, never told her about it before she moved. Was going togive her a valentines card, but her family moved like the week before, oh well.78: Theone person who I can’t hide things from: No one currently, used to be Sam, butright now there really isn’t anyone that I’m close enough to that can tellsomething is off77: Lasttime someone said something you were thinking: Can’t remember76: Rightnow I am talking to: No body, just up late as I do, watching League75: Whatare you going to do when you grow up: Am a young adult now, so am starting togrow up more, still working on getting into Disney, want to one day help editand voice over in movies.74: Ihave/will get a job: Currently work at Chuck E Cheese, first thing I could getafter moving out to California, hopefully soon will be at Disneyland, alsodrive for Uber every now and then if I’m bored and have some time73: Tomorrow:Is actually going to be Tuesday now since it’s 1am and so therefore technicallyis the next day. Going to be a big day, fingers crossed all goes well.72: Today:Is just another day, nothing to out of the ordinary71: NextSummer: Not sure, I think my mom is working on getting some sort of familyreunion together70: NextWeekend: Will be working, don’t do much on weekends normally69: Ihave these pets: 2 dogs, Gizmo and Stitch, both mutts68: Theworst sound in the world: nails on a chalkboard67: Theperson that makes me cry the most is: Not sure right now, probably myself66: Peoplethat make you happy: Those that are friendly and enjoyable to be around65: Lasttime I cried: Can’t recall64: Myfriends are: A very strange group of gamers63: Mycomputer is: Pretty good, would like to upgrade again here in the next year ortwo, just don’t have the money right now.62: MySchool: Is not existent currently, not a priority currently, will probably belater after work at Disney can give me more of a specific direction to gorather than throwing money at it and hoping for the best.61: MyCar: Is a good van, and has come in rather handy60: Ilose all respect for people who: Put others down behind their backs59: Themovie I cried at was: Nothing jumps out right now, only one that comes to mindof late was Force Awakens, yes it sounds silly, but every time I saw it and theoriginal theme played when Han got on the Falcon I couldn’t help but get tearyeyed, and each time Rey pulls the lightsaber too herself right past Kylo’sface.58: Yourhair color is: Dark Brown57: TVshows you watch: Arrow, Game of Thrones, Flash, Star Wars Rebels56: Favoriteweb site: Youtube probably55: Yourdream vacation: A couple weeks going to every Disney location with someone close54: Theworst pain I was ever in was: I mean breaking my arm hurt a lot physically, butemotionally there have been a few moments years ago when I learned things thatclose friends went through that I wish didn’t have to be so. Some things youjust can’t explain the real effect of how it messed with your mind and makesyou think differently each day.53: Howdo you like your steak cooked: Well done52: Myroom is: Neat and organized51: Myfavorite celebrity is: Liam Neeson50: Wherewould you like to be: Holding her in my arms49: Doyou want children: Have a beautiful daughter, will likely have more in thefuture once I actually settle down.48: Everbeen in love: Have been a few times47: Who’syour best friend: I know I said earlier that I don’t have one, but my mindinstantly went to Michael when I read this again, even though we haven’t beenclose in years now, but I still hope he is doing great and love seeing where heis going on facebook. He was pretty much a second brother growing up.46: Moreguy friends or girl friends: Guys from gaming, though in person would generallybe girls45: Onething that makes you feel great is: A tight warm hug44: Oneperson that you wish you could see right now: Savannah43: Doyou have a 5 year plan: Not particularly, barely have a 5 day plan42: Haveyou made a list of things to do before you die: Not written it down anywhere,but I want to get to every Disney park location, 3 down so far.41: Haveyou pre-named your children: Nope, have some ideas but nothing for sure,especially since my wife will of course have her own desired names too.40: Lastperson I got mad at: No one outwardly, but a few people in my head, and that’show it stays 99% of the time. I bottle stuff in too much.39: Iwould like to move to: It’s always been California, because that’s whereDisneyland is, but honestly wish I could have Disney in Colorado, am alreadykind of missing it far more than I thought I would.38: Iwish I was a professional: Voice actor, and may someday be.[ My Favorites ]37: Candy:Snickers or Laffy Taffy36: Vehicle:Was a Hummer growing up, but that thing is a gas guzzler, honestly whatever has4 wheels and gets me from point a to point b is good, preferably orange.35: President:Abraham Lincoln, because he was a pretty good guy34: Statevisited: Colorado33: Cellphoneprovider: T-Mobile works, haven’t tried anyone else, am grandfathered into myparents plan32: Athlete:Michael Phelps, or Pele31: Actor:Liam Neeson30: Actress:Cara Delevingne29: Singer:There are so many youtubers I follow, I couldn’t pick just one, impossible.Kurt Hugo Schneider, Sam Tsui, Agaisnt The Current, Pentatonix, ChristinaGrimmie(You are missed), Tiffany Alvord, Peter Hollens, Boyce Avenue, and manymore28: Band:Oh, well I kind of mixed some bands into Singers, um just a band, maybe Skilletor Matt Kearney27: Clothingstore: Nothing in particular, most of my shirts are from t-shirt daily dealwebsites26: Grocerystore: Probably Target, just my go to place25: TVshow: Close between Arrow and Game of Thrones24: Movie:Over The Hedge23: Website:This was asked earlier, but YouTube still22: Animal:Dragons, if you want something non-mythical then Guinea Pigs21: Themepark: Disneyland20: Holiday:Thanksgiving because it’s just about being thankful and spending time withfamily and loved ones. It’s not about getting anything or spending money forgifts, it’s about being there and being thankful.19: Sportto watch: League of Legends, E-sports totally count, if you disagree then youare wrong, and then Soccer would be my answer.18: Sportto play: Ultimate Frisbee, a lot of fun, especially with my good long distancethrows.17: Magazine:Don’t read magazines ever16: Book:The whole Dragons In Our Midst series, if I had to pick one then it would beRaising Dragons, the very first book.15: Dayof the week: None of them are special right now, so they just sort of flowtogether now, Friday I guess since it’s payday?14: Beach:Is nice to walk along on, though am not a fan of swimming in the ocean13: Concertattended: Last one I remember going to was an Audio Adrenaline concert with mydad, but that was ages ago, have never been big on concerts.12: Thingto cook: I suck at cooking, the best food I can make is French toast, is prettygood.11: Food:Cheeseburger. You can’t beat a good burger, 90% of the time at any restaurantit’s what I get.10: Restaurant:In-N-Out for fast food style, Red Lobster for sit down, used to be OliveGarden, but they got rid of their Fettuccini Alfredo Pizza9: Radiostation: K-Love8: Yankeecandle scent: Not sure, Cantaloupe maybe?7: Perfume:I don’t wear any, so don’t have much of an opinion on it, just something sweetsmelling is generally nice6: Flower:Never really thought about it actually, Roses look pretty, though it’s kind ofa generic answer, yeah don’t really have one I guess.5: Color:Orange, always has been, always will be.4: Talkshow host: I don’t watch any talk shows, so not sure who any are.3: Comedian:Jeff Dunham, I think he counts right? Great ventriloquist and comedian2: Dogbreed: Husky, such beautiful dogs, thought they do need a lot of attention totake care of.1: Didyou answer all these truthfully? To the best of my knowledge, yes.

[newstfionline]

In call to cancel debt, Cambodia asks: When war is over, who cleans up the mess?

Jerry Redfern, CS Monitor, August 15, 2017

PHUM SAOM K’NING, CAMBODIA--On Aug. 15, 1973, a flurry of American planes flew at least 225 military missions over Cambodia. It was the last day of a years-long covert bombing campaign, and it was ending because the secret was out--Congress demanded an end to the onslaught.

The Vietnam War was right next door, and the United States aimed to stop the North Vietnamese from moving troops and equipment into South Vietnam along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, part of which ran through Cambodia. To that end, US forces dropped 2.7 million tons of ordnance on more than 100,000 Cambodian sites--more than Allied forces dropped during all of World War II.

Sorl Blaet, a young woman in the remote northeastern province of Ratanakiri, was not yet born when those last bombs fell. But today, 44 years later, she lives with their consequences. Each morning, she wakes with soreness in her arms, legs, hands, and chest--the result of a 2008 accident when one of those bombs finally exploded, after lying dormant for decades. On bad days, she can feel the tiny fragments that remain embedded in her flesh. As a farmer, she worries about digging, and she fears for her two young children. “I’m still afraid there are more bombs underground,” she says.

Cambodia and the US have moved far beyond the war since its messy end more than 40 years ago. But its legacy regularly upends the lives of people like Sorl Blaet, prompting a complex debate: In the aftermath of war, who should clean up the mess? And what do governments owe people in post-conflict zones?

The relevance of these questions extends far beyond Cambodia. Ethicists have debated “just war” issues for centuries, but some say modern warfare demands new attention to post-conflict responsibility. And in this small Southeast Asian nation, the answers became even more complicated this year when the government again demanded that the US forgive a $500 million war-era debt--and the US, once again, said no.

On the day of the accident, Ms. Sorl Blaet was clearing brush from the field where she grows cassava. “I was cutting, cutting, cutting--then BOOM!” she says.

After the explosion, Sorl Blaet fell unconscious and awoke in the hospital. She couldn’t work for two months.

The family lives in Phum Saom K’ning, a remote farming village belonging to the Jarai, an indigenous ethnic group along the Cambodia-Vietnam border.

The Jarai had nothing to do with the conflict, says elder Poeuy Malep. “None of us ever joined the war. We were only running, escaping.” When Mr. Poeuy Malep was about 12 years old, he, too, had an accident, which blinded him in one eye and took off part of his left hand.

At least ten villagers have died in explosions since. Locals say they have found roughly 50 unexploded bombs in the past few years alone.

“We think about the bombs still there,” says elder Glan Lo, who lived through the war. “The bombs that stay underground, deep, which we cannot see.”

No one knows exactly how many unexploded bombs remain in Cambodia. US forces dropped approximately 26 million explosive submunitions, which had a significant failure rate: somewhere between 1.9 million and 5.8 million of those bombs didn’t detonate when they fell. About 130 square miles of the country are thought to be contaminated with these baseball-sized bomblets, dropped by the hundreds. Failed cluster submunitions look like rocks or toys and often sit inches below the surface--still deadly.

During the war, the Jarai abandoned Phum Saom K’ning to escape the incessant bombing. The village used to sit where Sorl Blaet had her accident. After the bombings ended in 1973, that land was heavily contaminated with unexploded ordnance (UXO); elders remember seeing bodies strewn across the fields.

So the village moved a couple of miles away, and used their old land for farming. In a dangerous, desperate move, villagers collected and destroyed as many bombs as they could.

“We had to; we didn’t have any other free land,” says Mr. Glan Lo.

For years, Cambodia has had clearance groups working in the central and western parts of the country to clear one of the world’s worst landmine threats, remnants of the Cambodian Civil War. But there were no clearance groups working near Phum Saom K’ning when Sorl Blaet had her accident.

That changed the following year. Now, the Mines Advisory Group (MAG)--one of the primary clearance organizations in Cambodia--has an on-call team to assist locals. When villagers find a bomb, they report it to Sorl Oum, a 20-year-old volunteer who then reports to MAG. The MAG team identifies, records, and destroys the ordnance, in what’s known as “rapid response.”

Another other main method is “area clearance,” in which every inch of a particular plot is methodically searched with metal detectors and cleared of all dangerous items. It’s a painstaking process that takes months of planning, mapping, outreach and coordination, whereas rapid response happens on the spot, typically the same day. MAG has teams of both types working full-time in Ratanakiri, but the job is enormous. Only a small percentage of contaminated land has been cleared.

Villagers say rapid response is both comforting and worrisome--comforting to have a professional team to remove the danger when found, but worrisome to have the lingering fear of what remains below the surface.

Phum Saom K’ning villagers seem to hold no grudge against the forces that battled across their land and left it hazardous for future generations. But while they appreciate the work done by MAG, they do have a couple of questions: Since everyone knows the bombs are there, why isn’t there more of an effort to take them all away? And whose responsibility is it to do so?

These are questions increasingly debated among scholars, policymakers, military leaders, ethicists, and religious leaders. And they came to a head late last year when Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen asked newly elected President Trump to drop the country’s war-era debt, calling it “dirty” money in light of Cambodia’s wartime suffering--a request he also made, unsuccessfully, to the Obama administration. The US again said no, igniting a public spat.

By the 1970s, the massive bombing campaign had prompted tens of thousands of villagers to flee the countryside. With no farmers at work, crops weren’t grown, and the US provided $274 million in loans to purchase food and goods for displaced Cambodians. With interest, those loans have grown to around $500 million. In March, when the US reiterated that it expected to be paid, Mr. Hun Sen refused, calling the money “blood-stained” by US bombs.

Then, in May, US Ambassador to Cambodia William Heidt hinted the US may reduce its funding for UXO clearance, suggesting Cambodia should “begin to take more responsibility” for those expenses. Over the past 24 years, the US has given Cambodia more than $114 million for clearance, about $8.4 million of that in fiscal year 2015.

Any notion of funding cuts makes clearance workers uneasy. “The US has been the largest and most long-standing donor to mine action in Cambodia, in terms of support to both minefield and cluster munition clearance,” said Greg Crowther, MAG Regional Director in Southeast Asia. “Any decrease in funding would therefore be a significant blow.”

Sophal Ear, an author and associate professor of diplomacy and world affairs at Occidental College in Los Angeles, says Cambodia should brace for that blow in the Trump era of “America First.” Plus, he says, it doesn’t help that Hun Sen “likes to needle the US with alarming regularity.”

Ethical questions about who owes what to whom in the aftermath of conflict fall under an area of study known as jus post bellum, or “justice after war”--a burgeoning field that some scholars hope will influence international law.

For centuries, a doctrine called Just War Theory has offered guidance on the “right” way to undertake and engage in war. But those criteria lacked a key element for modern times: What happens after war? (For that matter, when does a war really end?) Chemical weapons, cluster munitions, and depleted uranium rounds can kill or maim well after fighting stops, and weren’t around in the times of Aristotle or von Clausewitz. As recent conflicts in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere show, questions about postwar responsibilities are increasingly germane, and murky.

Brian Orend, the director of International Studies and a professor of philosophy at the University of Waterloo, has called for a new Geneva Convention centered on postwar problems, as the current Conventions primarily deal with treatment during war.

International bodies have put forth several documents to address post-conflict responsibilities. But few are binding by law, and the US has not signed several of them. Furthermore, most initiatives look only toward ongoing and future wars, not past conflicts.

The US ratified Protocol V on Explosive Remnants of War (ERW), for example, which requires warring parties to survey, assess, and clear ERW as soon as feasible after conflict. But “you can’t apply it retroactively,” according to Britta Sjöstedt, a postdoctoral fellow and senior lecturer in international law at Lund University in Sweden.

When it comes to the Jarai questions about responsibility and postwar cleanup, Dr. Sjöstedt says, “there is nothing really that you could argue” in terms of international law: nothing that compels a country to clear all that land, so long after war.

Forty-four-year-old messes present questions less in the realm of legal obligation and more in the area of moral duty, she says. However, countries don’t operate on morals: they run on laws and self-interests.

“Governments are fickle when it comes to moral claims, and are much more responsive when it comes to interests,” Dr. Orend says. “So, an argument needs to be made as to how it’s not ‘merely’ moral, or just to attend to postwar reconstruction, but that it’s usually, quite overwhelmingly, in one’s national interest to do so as well.”

But Cambodia “is of no importance to the US,” says David Chandler, an emeritus professor at Monash University in Australia, who has studied Cambodian society for more than 50 years.

The other question posed by the Jarai--who is responsible for cleaning this up?--has a simple legal answer, for now: No one.

Meanwhile, Sorl Blaet says she has a message: She thinks someone should clear all the bombs from her field and village so she and her children can live and farm without fear.

And she has a final question, almost a decade after she was injured in the explosion: Can anyone help her?