#coren im so sorry i put you through so much [not planning on stopping any time soon]

[tired-of-being-nice]

"i can't think straight"

time to put coren through the spaghetti press :)

cws: injury, referenced mind manipulation/brainwashing

Coren's brain feels like sludge. 

There's probably a better word for that, but they can't think of it right now. Thinking, generally, is hard. Normally Coren likes not being able to think— it makes doing their job easier—but this is– this is a lot. The Company must have really wanted them to forget something, because now they can't seem to remember anything. Coherent thoughts are slipping through their fingers like water. This feels...bad.

Even in its sludged state, Coren's brain recoils from thinking such disloyal thoughts. The Company wouldn't hurt them. It must be Coren's fault, somehow, for doing whatever it is they did to deserve this.

...Somehow, this logic doesn't seem as flawless as usual. Coren tries, instead, to comfort itself by reminding itself that someone—they can't remember who—told it before it left today that this would probably wear off eventually.

Probably.

It's not all bad, though. For example, they currently feel only remotely connected to their body, which is a nice break from the painful experience of actually being in it. They observe, distantly, that their foot is throbbing and their shoulder may be slightly dislocated, and that black spots are floating in front of their vision, but none of that stops them from moving forward.

At least, it shouldn't. Coren pulls its mind back together long enough to realize that its body, the useless, traitorous thing, has collapsed to the ground while they weren't paying attention. It takes considerable effort to get it moving again. It's so hard to move and think at the same time. It's so much work. They want it to stop.

Please, they think. Please. Please. Please. They can't think of anything else—not what they're asking for or who they're asking for it. That's too much effort. This is all they can do. Please. Please. Please.