#conversely though minthara is also a lot of pressure for her to deal with because as much as she also loves her just as much

[aetherose]

Early on in her adventure, Nimue would gravitate more towards taking the more 'good-aligned' companions with her (Gale, Karlach, and Wyll) because she secretly craved their approval a bit. They were what she didn't think she could be, and she admired them and took them with her quite a bit as such.

However, her fear of their disapproval and her own moral compass (barely existent as it was) wouldn't fully mesh well, and it would lead to some conflicts between her and them. She would slowly feel more awful taking them with her, in the sense of 'They're so good and I'm so not, I don't know if I can be the person they see in me'. The pressure to be something she wasn't with them would suffocate her.

It's not that she wanted to go be an evil bastard, but as time goes on even with influences from her companions helping her form a moral compass and understanding right from wrong better, she still ends up with a quite utilitarian mindset. She ends up being fairly kind and generally does the right thing, but she can at times do some very questionable actions to achieve the greater goal that could lead to conflicts, even when she'd force herself to do certain things to make as many companions happy as she could.

She would find herself in actuality gravitating towards Astarion, Lae'zel, and Shadowheart because of her feeling like she could be more herself with them. She wouldn't feel as pressured with them in spite of how any of them could be just because their mindsets aligned more so with her own and their expectations felt less difficult to reach, and their disapproval just doesn't hit as hard for her. She still cares whether they approve, but it f eels less like a punch in the gut since she also didn't crave their approval nearly as much.

She equally (platonically by default) loves all of her companions very much regardless but some are just easier to be with than others, though late Act 2 after her urges are finally openly known to everyone it becomes easier to be with the more good-aligned companions knowing they accept her as she is more.

It's a her problem overall of thinking quite lowly of herself and admiring the good-aligned companions to a degree that leads her to fear they'll reject her even more so than the others. Even though they don't expect her to be a shining paragon of goodness and ultimately would accept her, she still fears failing to be the sort of person they'd want to be with.

So, overall, it ties back to her fear of being abandoned in the end.