#constant calamita

[wolkemesser]

[artneverjudges]

LAYOUT

Gaetano Bruno in Fargo (2014 —) as Constant Calamita.

Please reblog + like if you use them

Please credit this account with the username wherever you use this edit.

[prismaticstarshch]

starting another reblog game but with this premise: take some of your favorite characters and say what you think would happen if they were put into a room together

I feel like there would be a constant possibility of complete and utter chaos ensuing with my case because some of my favorite characters are:

Scythe (Phighting)

Subspace (Phighting)

Icedagger (Phighting)

Bive (Regretevator)

Prototype (Regretevator)

Iris (Arcane Odyssey)

Edward Kenton (Arcane Odyssey)

Sebastian (Pressure)

Calamitas (Terraria Calamity)

N (Murder Drones)

Wheatley (Portal 2)

no-pressure tags: @simply-windy, @2coffeeday, @crowrave, @kaijuree, @hyacinth-venom

[julyinjanuaryfest]

That's a Wrap!

July in January Fest 2024 has officially come to an end.

The AO3 collection is now closed, and there is a total of nine works available to read, with all of the daily prompts represented at least once, and featuring characters from all five seasons of the show!

Here's a complete list of tagged characters:

Constant Calamita (2)

Odis Weff (2)

Swanee Capps (2)

Zelmare Roulette (2)

Danish Graves

Dot Lyon

Floyd Gerhardt

Gloria Burgle

Lorraine Lyon

Mr. Numbers

Mr. Wrench

Ron Burgle

Simone Gerhardt

Wayne Lyon

Thank you so much to everyone who participated!

[hifargoweek]

That's a Wrap!

Highly Irregular Fargo Week 2023 has officially come to an end.

The AO3 collection is now closed, and there is a total of ten works available to read featuring seventeen characters, three of whom received the first work for their tag!

The character with the most works in the collection is Odis Weff, with five. Here's a complete list of tagged characters:

Odis Weff (5)

Gloria Burgle (2)

Constant Calamita (2)

Greta Grimly (2)

Levney Hooten (2) - *1st work*

Nathan Burgle

Gina Hess

Winnie Lopez

Rabbi Milligan

Thaddeus Mobley - *1st work*

Kitty Nygaard

Pearl Nygaard

Linda Park Nygaard

Molly Solverson

Ennis Stussy - *1st work*

Nikki Swango

Ida Thurman

Thank you so much to everyone who participated!

[gimblerthe]

(godseeker-yharim on my main here) Break, mistake, and skin for Aetia? Tell me about this smelly, smelly lady.

Goodness me, were you fast af lmaoo.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Aetia had a troubled childhood. She never met her birth mother, and she had to seek Yharim out just to meet him, though that was two decades down the line and he wasn't worth it. Her foster mother, Calamitas, was basically her only guiding light through her formative years. And she never spoke a single word to her. After a bit of snooping, she learned a few things about why Calamitas was doing anything for her and set out to change that into a better reason I.E. being blood related.

Calamitas started taking better care of her, and that was that. So how would she break? Hear Calamitas admonish and abandon her, probably. Her greatest weaknesses and fears which nothing would be able to stave off would be laid bare, and she'd lock herself in her office and speak to no one. She would isolate herself so thoroughly that the only thing that told anyone she was alive was the constant stream of paperwork out of her office and her constant retrieval of drugs from Draedon.

But that's what she does already. The only difference is that the stream of paperwork would eventually stop, and a corpse would be lifelessly staring at a half-finished document.

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

She had a bad day, surprisingly. Aetia never had bad days, never went on walks, never did anything but was expected of her and what Calamitas wanted from her. Those were the days she was most happy, so having a bad day was... unorthodox. Her greatest mistake was, on that day, she said something to Calamitas that shouldn't've meant anything. A one-off comment, one made out of bitterness and a need to make her unhappiness known to the only person she thought wouldn't care.

But she did care. And that was the last day Aetia saw her before the events of the story. The only parent she had left, simply disappeared from her life without a single word ever spoken. This has not been fixed. Aetia cannot fix it. She treaded on something she shouldn't have, and now is paying the price for it.

She's moved on as well as she could've, waiting for Calamitas to finally return so she can apologize to her. Her abrasive and boisterous personality was perhaps tempered forever into a quiet, solemn woman. At least, when she wasn't high on drugs and out in public.

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

She is comfortable. Should her skin be dirty, covered in muck and sweat, stark white, pure black, covered in blisters or scars, or as smooth as can be without a single bit of abnormality, she would be comfortable. The wings grafted on her back don't matter to her. The needles in her arm don't matter to her. The eyebags. The faint draconic slits in her eyes. The red hair. She is fine with all of it.

Perhaps the only thing about her body that she loves most, is the elf ears she got from Calamitas. It's a shame she never received the horns, but Calamitas never expressed why she looked relieved when they didn't appear after the ritual.

Her mentality is the only thing that she can't temper. She's far too damaged to make reasonable decisions, and, despite her best efforts, she'll never be human or down-to-earth like her people. She snuffs the version of her who doesn't care for them and lives for herself out with drugs and various chemicals to remain as she always should've. She would just become another Yharim if she allowed herself to care too much.

[hungry-hobbits]

started the first ep of fargo season 4 last night and i'm sorry for the person i'm gonna be when i decide to go through the constant calamita tag

[thefutureiswhat]

Another character for the meme: Constant Calamita!

Thank you! <3

Constant Calamita

favorite thing about them: He's very stylish. What other character matches his car to his coat?

least favorite thing about them: Pretty much everything else.

favorite line: "He says he's gonna punch you in the face!"

brOTP: Gaetano, in a "Nightmare Odd Couple" kind of way.

OTP: himself

nOTP: Rabbi - I'm basically this meme.

random headcanon: He considered burning a ring into his other cheek to make his face more symmetrical.

unpopular opinion: I can't think of one.

song i associate with them: "Fashion" by Lady Gaga (I am, I'm too fabulous / I'm so fierce that it's so nuts / I live to be model thin / Dress me, I'm your mannequin)

favorite picture of them: Middle of a gunfight, tornado approaching -- still hasn't lost the cigarette.

Send me a Fargo character and I'll answer everything above!

[hushcultist]

I may be a bit late, but I think I can explain this.

Calamity mod and Ultrakill are technically linked by 2 things (not including fish): A funny machine (Draedon and V1) and a gold-themed character (Yharim and Gabriel).

Calamity mod and Undertale are linked via gameplay (in Undertale's case, the gameplay of the blue soul), since both are bullet hells (this also goes for Touhou and Ultrakill).

Calamity mod and Touhou are linked via Supreme Calamitas (that and the bullet hell gameplay, which can be achieved using the Exo Box mount (minus the comedically small hitbox)).

I could go on and on for hours and waste everyone's time, but what I have noticed is that all 4 have one aspect that's the same.

Fish. More specifically, The Leviathan for Calamity mod (and technically Ultrakill, but the Ultrakill Leviathan is more of a hell monstrosity then a fish), The Mythical Size 2 Fish for Ultrakill, so on and so forth.

What I'm saying by this is that fish is an element of these 4. It remains a constant element, even in Ultrakill, thanks to 5-S, a fishing minigame.

In short: Fish are the one thing that ties all these games together. (that and a buncha other stuff but who cares about that)

Why is it that these 4 games have the same fandom?

[miasmicgf]

Fargo (FX), dir. Noah Hawley

"No, no, no. You're not getting it. What I'm telling you is not feel bad for me. What I'm telling you is, there ain't a monster on Earth tougher than an orphan in a box."

[devilinlittlehope]

it’s true😌💅

[dummie-vaughn]

me finishing Fargo season 4: wow that was so good I should rewatch Fargo season 4 again

[patrickmilligan]

Calamita is hotter than fire

[alignerligner]

my boys waltzing

[dumbladores]

Crime & Love Part 1

Fargo Calamity x fem!reader

Mixing characters of Fargo with others in a non-logical non-canon story. It’s gonna be long.

A profane title, and probably an also profane story. But here we go. Enjoy!

calamità

Definition: calamity: [noun] a great misfortune OR a piece of iron, or of certain other materials, that attracts or repels other pieces of iron etc.

It has been a week now that I’d been waiting to make the move. I had been trained for this day. You know what you had to do. But the crime boss I were service for was waiting for the right moment. 

He held me under his iron fist. First, it was just drugs. I sold them to my college pals to finance my own education. My parents were long gone and the only thing I knew about them was that they had died in a gunfire. They probably had been in dirty business, just as myself. My aunt and uncle raised me and they were not the sort of people who cared much. Even though they had plenty of money themselves, they didn’t care to send me on a college. They had just wanted me to move out, get a job and get along in life on my own. But I wanted more. I was intelligent and clever. I wanted to go to college, so I got into some dirty business. While i got my A grades, I paid for my college funds with dirty drug money. But I had a good conscience while doing so. I was up to good while making my hands dirty. But so wanted it the society, and I had no other choice. 

Now, my boss, a man called V, wanted me to go to their enemies. He was in war with another crime syndicate, the Italians. Their boss was called Josto Fadda. He wanted someone invisible, he had said, someone unknown to them, to infiltrate their base. He wanted me to offer them information. I’d give them some information about their traffic roads, where they smuggled coke. They’d bust two of his men to let me gain their confidence. In return, I should feed him with all the information I could gather. 

It would be a risky mission, but a profitable one for me. There were 50 grand in for me. With that money, I could retire fully from crime and get on with my education and not worry for the next couple of years. It was a risk, but it would be worth it. I hoped.

One evening, the time finally came. Vs men picked me up at the bar I said they would find me. It was the fifth day in a row that I sat there and waited. I got in a car with them and got the address. They said, they’d be there, drinking. I didn’t worry. Drunk men I could handle. Besides, it would make the whole thing a lot easier if they were chill. On the other hand, drunk men could act even more aggressive. I hoped it could turn out to my favor, nevertheless.

They let me out a few blocks away from the place. I walked the pavement and there were already some men outside. They mustered me suspiciously when I made my way to the door, but didn’t say anything. The bar was full of drunk people, men and women. Some played cards at the tables, some danced to quick jazz music, and some just stood there and watched the scenery. I got to the bar and ordered a Martini. You got on the last free barstool. The men on my right stopped their conversation and turned their heads to me. 

It was not uncommon anymore that a women went to a bar on her own, but it surely was an event for those guys. They openly stared at me, while I rested my purse on the counter and received my Martini. 

“Here you go, Miss”, the bartender said friendly. “With an olive, that okay?” “It’s perfect, thank your”, I said, raised my glass to the men beside me and took a sip. 

“You know, when you salute to them once more, you’ll never leave that bar”, a voice said, coming from my other side. I quickly turned around to see a tall, handsome man with dark piercing eyes. 

“Well, I guess that I shouldn’t talk to you then, either”, I said smiling and searched for lighter in my purse.

“Here, let me”, he said and quickly pulled out his lighter. 

“Thanks.”

I smoked my cigarette while thinking how I could get to speak to the boss without drawing too much attention. I would choose one person to speak to, a person who I thought was high in rank and that could get me quickly to Fadda. I thought. Maybe the bartender. Or those men on my right? Or-

“You know that you are much too beautiful to sit here on your own”, the man on my left said. Apparently, he had watched me the whole time. He smiled softly. His Italian accent was strong, but I had to admit it suited him very well.

“Never heard that one before”, I said dryly. But then it struck me. I mustered the guy. He was tall, handsome and he wore good fitting clothes that looked expensive. He had to be in very high. 

The Italian smiled lightly. Then he leaned in closer. I could smell his perfume. It was there, just a touch but it could not erase the doubt of kills that he had assumavly executed too many times.

„No, I’m serious. The guys are gonna try something on you soon and you can’t say no to those people too often“, he said.

I swallowed. I surely was in a bar full of gangsters. I clenched to my purse, feeling the gun inside it.

„So you’re going to protect me huh?“

The Italian chuckled again. „If your fist is as sharp as your wit it doesn’t seem you need any protection. But your hands are too small. And too pretty to punch.“ He said it nearly softly and for a second I forgot where I was and what I had to do. I straightened up.

„Actually, I’m here to see the boss.“

The Italian flinched. „The Boss?“

„Yes. Fadda? I have to speak to him. Offer him a deal. I have information to offer.“

The Italian straightened in his posture and glanced cautiously through the room.

„Im alone“, I said.

Suddenly, the Italian grabbed my arm harshly.

„Who’s your boss?“, he growled into my ear.

His grip hurt, but I didn’t try to resist.

„It’s V“, I said.

For a second, he looked my straight in the eyes. Then, he yanked me out of my seat. I stumbled forward. I quickly grabbed my jacket and my purse. Some men looked at us and the two guys at the bar stopped smiling. I had a very bad feeling at a sudden.

„Come with me“, the Italian said and pushed me through the room to a door behind the counter.

Part II is about to follow soon!

[jawbonejoe]

Me: Calamita is a bitch and I (very softly: don’t) hate him

Also Me: That thing where he mimicked drawing a knife across his throat while clicking his tongue was cool I’m gonna start doing that now