#conspicuous is officially the first word actually defined and it was by 2B

[newsiegirlscout]

Happy Holidays to the artist formerly known as magnificentdragon123! My sincerest for the belated Wordgirl Secret Santa; the request was for father-daughter fluff between Wordgirl and Dr. Two-Brains, so heck! Now you’re getting all of it! Hope you enjoy, and Happy New Year’s!

The charcuterie was a masterpiece. 

Gouda blended with white cheddar exquisitely, swiss paired with gruyere like peppermint with gingerbread, and the miniature cheese fountain was worth the hassle at the hardware store a thousand times over. Dr. Two-Brains stood over it, rubbing his gloved hands together in gleeful anticipation before his thoughts were interrupted by a shout from the parlor. 

“Bosssss!” 

The scientist sighed. His henchmen had insisted on doing the Christmas tree lights by themselves this year, and predictably enough, they’d gotten tangled up in them trying to sort them out. The big guy, at least, had the decency to look a bit sheepish. 

He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, then moved to gingerly unentangle the worst of it. 

“Ah, what did I tell you guys? I have a PhD and a biological hardwire in recognizing patterns, I know you both want to bedizen the place, but you’ve gotta ask for help with the harder things.” 

The henchmen looked at each other blankly; with a hand on his shoulder, the big guy was able to step out of the snare, but as physics would have it, the weight distribution made the little one lose his balance and fall back, taking the Christmas tree with him. Two-Brains squeaked and slid under the tree, firmly pulling the other side of the Christmas lights back.

“But Boss….” the little guy said softly amidst the blinking lights, “We don’t know what bedizen means.” 

The scientist grumbled, shaking the cords off himself and grabbing hold of the tree so his henchman could get free. “Ask Wordgirl next crime. I’m a bit busy, if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Sorry, Boss.” the little one said, pulling the last of the blinking lights over his head and righting the tree, “Say, do you think she’d like the holiday cookies we made for her? Charlie an’ I worked really hard on them…” 

The henchman in question nodded shyly as they worked together to sort out the now-untangled lights. With one hand, the little one started counting. “We didn’t know what holiday she celebrated, so we got gingersnaps, gingerbread, peppermint bark, ras malai, sufganiyot, an’ balaklava!” 

Dr. Two-Brains smiled, laughed softly in the glow of the lights and the fire. 

“Aw, that’s really considerate, you two.” he said, ruffling the big one’s hair--or what hair he had, anyway, “I think she’ll really appreciate it, but remember, she’s taking a holiday now too. ‘Sides, I don’t pay you guys to be considerate. Evil thoughts only.”

The two saluted; the scientist turned to the silver garlands nearby and decided just one slice of cheese couldn’t hurt as he decorated the house. As he reached for it, the telephone’s ringtone chimed out across the parlor. Dr. Two-Brains sighed and answered it.

“Hel-lo, the doctor is in.” 

“Dr. Two-Brains?” asked a shaky, high, and distinctively know-it-all voice. The man in question dropped the telephone, then scrambled to catch it as the henchmen turned around. 

“Woah, woah, kiddo…” he said softly, “What’s goin’ on? Thought you only used that phone for emergencies...say, how’d ya’ get this number anyway?”

“It’s….” 

A long pause followed.

“A little bit of an emergency. Can I come over really quickly?”

“My door’s always open, kid. Literally, every lock we’ve ever had’s been busted inside a week.” Then, with a more sympathetic tone, “Take as much time as you need, Wordgirl, I--the henchmen would really like to see you.” 

The garage door opened slowly; Wordgirl, breaking a cocky grin in spite of her tone, for once looked at a loss for words. She floated lightly over to perch on the drawing board and ended the call. 

“I was hoping you’d say that.” she said. 

*******************************************************************************************

“Alright, alright, give her some space.” Two-Brains said sternly to his excited henchmen, “Wordgirl, what brings you here?” 

She exhaled slowly. “All the stores are closed and I haven’t slept at all and my science midterm is tomorrow and I still have so much to do and you’re the only one I could think of calling at this hour and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!” The superheroine waved her arms emphatically, nearly falling off the board; Two-Brains stepped forward, but she caught herself in time. Flying was useful that way, but it did little for the tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Desperately, she shook her head, looked away. 

“Can I please study here? This is the only subject I’m still stuck on, but I’ll be really quiet, I promise!” 

“Wordgirl, Wordgirl, Wordgirl.” Dr. Two-Brains said, shaking his head. Her grip tightened on her bookbag, embarrassment at asking darkened her face. But wearing a goofy grin, the villain tossed her a reindeer headband and replied, “Call this place a home, let us help with whatever you need, but don’t ya’ dare be quiet!”

Wordgirl laughed, brushed the tears away with the back of her hand. 

“Well, then, Doc, you think we have enough road to get up to 88?” she giggled.

“We don’t need roads where we’re going.” he responded cheerfully. “To the kitchen, allons-y!”

*******************************************************************************************

There was a saying that all good stories began in the kitchen; Two-Brains himself certainly fit the bill, chattering absently as he melted the chocolate over the stove. 

“So…got anything in there I can help with?” he asked, gesturing to the folder spilling over with old study guides and flashcards. Wordgirl looked up, shook her head. 

“Ugh….the definitions are easy enough, but it’s all these reactive properties that are just impossible to get straight. What bonds with what, how much the force of gravity increases over an arctan….” Throwing her arms wide, she did a cartwheel in midair. 

“Do I look like someone who knows how gravity should work?” 

Two-Brains laughed. “More into the crime-fighting gig, ay?” 

She gave a short, humorless bark of laughter, kicking back and reaching for the folder. 

“Not doing so well on that, either.”

The scientist mused, pouring the first mug of hot chocolate and handing it to her. With a snap, he suddenly whipped out a blaster and fired it just past her shoulder. Lightning-fast, she dropped her mug and flew in front of it, shuddering as the blast hit her square in the chest. Behind her, the window broke, cracks spiderwebbing outwards. 

“Alright! Well, there’s a start.” he said, sipping hot cocoa, “That’s gamma radiation; you stopped it so quickly you had to take the full and centered force of it, while the impact spread out more by the time it reached that window back there. That’s a difference of around 700 joules--since it’s an electromagnetic wave, and ya’ stopped it, you’re as strong as steel. You good, kid?”

She winced. 

“You owe me a cookie.” 

“I have great news for you!” he said cheerfully, hoisting her onto his shoulders and tossing her one of the henchmen’s cookies, “More science it is, then! What’s next?”

*******************************************************************************************

Wordgirl laughed, and it was music to Two-Brains’s ears after seeing her so out-of-sorts just a few hours earlier. The good mood was contagious, and he laughed as well; the henchmen chuckled softly, gathered up some of the loose pillows from the fight and walked towards their quarters. 

“We should probably hit the hay. ‘Night, boss.” said the little one. 

“You guys learned enough about forces?” giggled the superheroine, helping absently to gather up the pillows and stack them impossibly high in her arms. They nodded; the bigger one, Two-Brains noted, with an especial air of pride. 

“Good, then you two should grasp the gravity of how far it is past your bedtime.” the older scientist said, rolling his eyes and blowing pretend, exaggerated kisses, “Mwah. Night.”

Wordgirl giggled; as soon as they were out of earshot, Dr. Two-Brains leaned in close to her. 

“Don’t tell them.” he whispered softly, pulling out a few torn pages from the inside of his labcoat, “But eh, this place is doing a special on cheesecake, I’ve been meaning to use these for some time. You hungry?” 

Halfway through a nod, she gestured to her uniform. 

“It’s okay, I can’t really….” Wordgirl sighed. “I’d love to, but I’m a bit conspicuous. I should probably be heading home.”

“What, ya’ mean like obvious or easily noticeable?” Two-Brains said, “I get that--gonna say changing into your civilian identity is out of the question too?”

She nodded. “Not to say I don’t trust you, but…”

“But I’m a top-tier criminal and not likely to change that soon.” Suddenly, a thought occurred to him; he snapped his fingers and dashed to the nearest closet. 

So now all there was to do was wait. 

Snow fell softly outside the windows; a fire flickered in the hearth, and somehow her old friend’s off-key singing had an odd quality of beauty to it. Knowing the doctor, his idea could really have been anything from take-out to a criminal plot of drastic proportions. 

Thus it could be concluded, decided Wordgirl as she drifted over to the bookshelf, that the good of Fair City asked--nay, demanded--that she wait just a few more minutes.

*******************************************************************************************

“How do I look?” said Doctor Two-Brains proudly, throwing his arms wide to display the gaudiest Hawaaiian shirt and patterned tie she had ever seen. His knee-length cargo shorts were the most aesthetically satisfying part of his ensemble, had they not been just slightly out of season for the four inches of snow. 

“Great!” chirped Wordgirl, giving a thumbs-up. He nodded approvingly, straightened his tie in the nearest mirror, and jerked his thumb towards his van. 

“No one’s going to notice ya’ when their eyes are on yours truly.” he declared, giving himself a wink, “I mean, there’s everyday handsome, and then there’s.” Doctor Two-Brains gestured to himself. The superheroine giggled, buckling her seatbelt and scanning over the list of flavors. 

“Ooh, they have strawberry…” she mused. 

“Goes well with your uniform.” he responded, giving her helmet an affectionate pat, “You sure you wouldn’t prefer red velvet, though?” 

“Decisions, decisions.” she laughed, “What are you getting?” 

“Mmm…” he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, “I’m thinking espresso.” 

“What? No! I’m locking you up just for that.”

“Tssh...I’ll have you a convert in no time.”

*******************************************************************************************

Wordgirl laughed softly as she stepped out of Dr. Two-Brain’s van into the gentle, snowy night. 

“Thank you so much, Dr. Two-Brains.” she said with a polite salute, “I still don’t see what you see in espresso cheesecake, but…” with a short, but deep sigh trailing off into a giggle, “It was really nice. Thank you.” 

“Any time, kid.” he said, shaking her hand. “Hey, I know it’s a little early, but…” 

A smile reddened her face as he lightly tossed a wrapped package to her; it hit her chest and she wrapped her arms around it, grinning as he sheepishly rubbed his neck. 

“I don’t know if you’ve read it before or anythin’, but….merry Christmas if ya’ celebrate, happy holidays if ya’ don’t.” 

A Hero’s Guide To Saving Your Kingdom. Not only had she never read it, but she’d heard of it and never been able to remember the title long enough to find it. The princes and princesses on the cover promised an exciting read; the four hundred pages or so promised a long one (or at least, an extra few seconds if she used her speedreading powers, but really, midterms took so long….). 

Just as Two-Brains’s hopefulness almost fell, she slammed into his chest with the biggest hug he’d ever gotten in….about three years or so. Stumbling back, he wrapped his arms around her, chuckling with just a hint of satisfaction. 

“Woah, kiddo, what’cha doing? You almost knocked me over!” 

“Good.” she mumbled into his shoulder, squeezing him tighter, “That’d make us even for the particle demonstration.” 

He laughed softly. “Alright, well, you better ace that exam, okay?” 

She nodded, pulling away and hugging the book to her chest. “I think it’d be tricky not to.”

“See you around, Wordgirl.”

“See you around, Doctor Two-Brains.” 

The scientist watched her leave before pulling the garage door closed behind him. 

“She never closes it behind her.” he murmured amusedly, “Y’think she’d know better, there are some serious criminals in this part a’ town.” 

With a smile, he sat back, poured himself a glass of juice, and sighed. 

Yep; he was feeling like good ol’ Stevie B.