#considering the particular situation has given them lots of experience with different stages of grief and survivor's guilt i imagine

[mothmvn]

i realise fundraising efforts are aimed mostly at westerners and americans specifically, like, very much constructed to go "it's your oblivious western ass's fault if i die, you and your peaceful life need a shock to remember there's trauma in the world". i guess other audiences aren't considered? audiences with existing trauma or survivor's guilt are expected to block this stuff on purpose? idk man but i do have to fast-scroll past a lot of posts these days

[chasekimberly1994]

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[simplesinger]

I had no idea that this is what Jai Paul was going through. What a brutal experience, and example for how tech/culture can be so incredibly destructive. It’s really great that he is back, and that he was able to describe, work through, and come out on the other side of this experience.

So looking forward to what he brings into the world next.

“A message for fans.

I wanted to use this opportunity to share a little information about what happened regarding my music in April 2013. As you may know, some of my unfinished demos were put up for sale illegally via Bandcamp. The leak consisted of a fairly random collection of tracks I had made over quite a long period of time (from roughly 2007 to 2013), in various stages of completion. Some are short skits and beats from my MySpace page back in the day before I signed a record deal. A large proportion of this music was to be completed and released officially in some format.

Regarding how this music got leaked, the short answer is that I don't really know. I believe these particular versions of tracks may have come from a burned CD that got misplaced - a fair amount of people would have had access to my music in various forms between 2010 and 2013.

The first I knew about the leak was when I woke up to a phone call from my management at around 3 am on the night it happened. I contacted the City of London Police immediately. No-one in my team knew how best to deal with something like this and there was some confusion as to how we should react. I remember thinking if we could act fast we might be able to contain it somewhat and keep damage to a minimum. However, because it was 3 am on Saturday morning it was tough to get hold of anybody. Whoever was behind it likely planned it this way.

I understand that it might have seemed like a positive thing to a lot of people - the music they had been waiting to hear was finally out there - but for me, it was very difficult to deal with. As things unfolded I went through a number of phases, but the immediate, overriding feeling was one of complete shock. I felt numb, I couldn't take it all in at first. I felt pretty alone with everything, like no-one else seemed to view the situation in the same way I did: as a catastrophe. There was a lot going through my mind, but the hardest thing to grasp was that I'd been denied the opportunity to finish my work and share it in its best possible form. I believe it's important for artists as creators to have some control over the way in which their work is presented, at a time that they consider it complete and ready.

I was also frustrated by how all this was being framed online, leading to the widespread belief that I had decided to leak my own music, despite my record label and I saying otherwise. It didn't fit at all with anything I had done previously in style or attitude, and especially not in presentation. To make matters worse I was advised at the time to keep quiet and leave things ambiguous, but this didn't really fit with my vibe and there was disagreement among us. I soon felt unable to engage with it at all.

I suppose the music was special to me in a way, stuff that I began writing as a teenager in my room just for fun, eventually signing my record deal with it at 21, and hoping that I could put it towards a debut album with XL. I guess having that dream torn up in front of me hit me pretty hard. Of course, I'm not the only person who was affected, it was disappointing to all who worked on the music and to the wider team working on my project at my management, label and publisher etc.

A police investigation started during the Summer. Email addresses from the Bandcamp page and a linked PayPal account led to two suspects who were eventually arrested, their property raided and computers seized. Nothing was found, but by this time it was almost a year after the leak had taken place. The BPI kindly offered to step in and help towards the investigation so I'd like to thank them for their concern. I'm grateful to the City of London police for their efforts. Whoever was behind the leak collected a significant amount of money from sales, which was quickly frozen by the Police. Thanks to co-operation from PayPal and Bandcamp, everyone who paid money to download the music was refunded.

There were some long term effects for me following the leak. There was a significant loss of trust. For the next 3 years or so this one event was all anybody asked me about. Everyone was convinced that the story they had read online - that I'd leaked the music myself - was true, so I had to repeatedly explain the reality of the situation over and over again. It was frustrating and disorientating to find that I had no ownership over the story (or the music) and that people were choosing to believe a different truth. I guess this all made it feel like I had thousands of people not believing me, not trusting me, and also that in some strange way I was responsible for all of it. On a personal level, things gradually went south and I had a breakdown of sorts. I was in quite a bad place for some time. I was unable to work and withdrew from life in general.

Recently, I've been having therapy of various kinds, and this has helped me get to a place where I can begin to think about returning to music. I am thankful for that. It has allowed me to understand some of what happened in 2013 a little better - not through anybody else's lens, but through my own, and through this, I've been able to acknowledge some of the trauma and grief. I've grown to appreciate that people have enjoyed that music and lived with it, and I accept that there is no way to put that shit back in the box. There was no way to fix what happened and continue down our original path. Looking back, it's sad to think about what could have been, but it is what it is and I had to let go.

Founding the Paul Institute has also been an important step for me in terms of putting stuff out there again and getting back to what I love. I wanted to create a positive environment that artists could be supported in and stand together through some of the pressures that can make this industry difficult to navigate. I'm proud of what we've achieved so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing our artists develop.

We have decided now to make the April 2013 leaked music readily available so that those who want to hear it can access it via platforms they're used to. In order to do this we had to remove a bunch of samples that we were unable to clear, so what you hear won't be exactly what leaked in 2013 - but I know the original stuff is still floating about if you know where to look. Of course, it's completely surreal to me that this music will now exist officially in this form, unfinished, and even sequenced by the people who leaked it! Much of the tracking and production work was there, but it's a shame about the scratch vocals and the overall mix. This is also not all of the material from those early sessions so again it's a shame not to be able to present something completed, in its entirety. It will always be a little painful for me to listen to myself, but I don't want to deny people a chance to hear it, especially as it's already knocking about. Hopefully, this message gives it all a bit of context and answers a few questions about it.

Finally I just wanted to express how grateful and appreciative I am for the friends, artists, colleagues and strangers that have stuck by me and shown so much love, support and mad patience over the last however many years. I truly appreciate the help and positivity I've been given to get back on my feet. I wanted to put two new tracks out to say thank you.

For the double B side, we decided it would make most sense to pick up where I'd left off, so I've finished two tracks that I was working on at the time of the leak. I've signed and numbered all 500 copies of the white label vinyl. I've not had a website or merch for sale before so I'm excited to share all that stuff with you. We'll see where things go from here.

Anyway, if you got this far thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy the tunes. As always, you can find me down the pub (shout out to all the safe people who've come up to me to say hello over the years) so I'll see you down there for a pint later. Peace, Jai P.S. 10% of profits on merchandise will go to SANE.”

via Jai Paul Returns With 2 New Songs, Officially Drops 2013 Leaked Album: Listen

[vileart]

Testament Dramaturgy: Sam Edmunds @ Edfringe 2018

‘TESTAMENT’

ZOO Charteris, Venue 124, 140 Pleasance, EH8 9RR 03rd - 27th August. 

Time- 16:45pm (0hr55).  Ticket Prices- £10 Adult / £8 Concession.

I sat in absolute stillness for the whole show. Questions, emotions, feelings were coming and going in the most organic and natural way. This show certainly has something magical, that the audience will certainly remember. 

Marcin Rudy- Song of The Goat

Winner of The Creativity Award 2018. In the beginning God created the heavens and earth and... Max! After a car crash, Max questions what happened to Tess. Answers take form in apparitions of modernised biblical characters, aiding Max in his discovery or tempting him away. His only hope of recovery lies in the hands of his brother Chris.

What prompted you to use this rich tradition of meaning theatrically?

As you’ve mentioned yourself, attitudes towards religion are changing as society progresses. The more Science and Technology grows, the more doubts and questions we have towards our beliefs. I took this as fuel and wanted to picture a plane in which Lucifer and Jesus could manifest themselves within modern day society or in the case of my play ‘Testament’, how they would manifest in a situational environment. For me Religion provides solace to existence; that we as humans have purpose and will be rewarded in the afterlife. It forgives people, educates people and helps them in time of need. 

Within ‘Testament’ the lead character Max, loses some of his memories due to brain trauma, which induces his good conscience (Jesus) and his bad conscience (Lucifer) to be born. Throughout the play Max uses them to piece his memory back together and search for an answer to life and death. The symbolism I try to play with throughout ‘Testament’ is how taking Religion as a construct, which can be stripped back to certain messages and morals, can cure us of pain and hurt. I think in a time where Religion is challenged, its important to remember its fundamental purpose.

Given what I have said about religion's diminution in the Modern Era, do you have any concerns about how the work will be received?

Not at all, if anything the work uses the reasons for this diminution against itself. Perhaps the clearest example is Max’s declaration of “I don’t believe we ever die. We are all just energy. ‘Conservation of energy’. Did you know that energy can only ever be transferred?” Max here is using Einstein’s theories to rationalise the afterlife. Now of course it offers up the question of “would we experience this transferal” or is that the end of experience? But the end of experience is a wholly different concept to the destruction of the bio-chemical energy that we describe as “us”. 

And I’ve no doubt that we could debate this from either side of the coin until we die and still have gotten no further (the entire of human history does a lot to suggest this). My point is not to offer any sound answer to the question but rather to disregard this idea that there is only one way to think about things. Therefore I haven’t the slightest fear in the receival of a religious work during the rise of a shared secular way of thinking. Whilst I believe English Theatre can sometimes put too much of a focus on a work’s relevance as opposed to the experience and artistry of the work, I certainly believe this play is relevant today regardless of your belief structure. And does working with a religious content or theme introduce any particular kind of dramaturgy? I suppose I am asking about how far the way that you made the work reflects the content... classic dramaturgical question... If anything it has allowed for a greater poetic meaning more so than a literal narrative based one. One of the issues that can occur when the Bible is interpreted today, which should be seemingly obvious, is when the bible is interpreted literally. And this works for attempts to either prove or disprove the bible (or any religious text) literally, or in my opinion any text. Humans are not literal, we are abstract. Science allows us for a certain cause and effect understanding, a sort of cook book or cheat sheets for nature, indeed science tells us how our lives work the way they work. 

But they do not tell you why, instead science states that there is no why. There just is. And we could stop there, but we long for answers as a species which is why we have developed both science and religion as neither can fully satisfy our need for understanding. And this for me is the basis of the text within the play.  The play acts as a tug of war between naturalistic sequences written with a through line communicating a very specific truth. And more abstract emotional memory or fantasy sequences communicating very specific meanings but with less rigidity in their interpretation. Max, then, our protagonist acts as a bridge between these two methodologies of thinking.  Max is perhaps the most hardcore agnostic out there, less in an uncertainty of which path to follow, but more a stubborn refusal to choose a path. All this is a very roundabout way of describing what we say is our main belief at Chalk Line Theatre, and that is that “we take realism into the absurd”. Because reality is absurd. The structure of the writing could be attributed to that of a bible. It is a collection various texts, in our case: poetry, duologues, rock star power point presentations and sometimes text is just done away with entirely. From that there is a great amount of pain, solace and meaning to be found.

How do you feel about being identified as a religious piece of theatre? With great optimism but also caution would be my answer to that. For fear that we might be interpreted literally. We certainly consider the play religious, and it references the Christian Bible, but I’d feel hesitant to say it belongs to any specific religion. The play is Max’s religion, it’s deeply spiritual and I feel provides a well needed fight to accept the spiritual element back into our lives, but it is in a sense a new bible. 

Perhaps a more fitting title to the show might have been “A New Testament”, but it’s just not as punchy. And we like punchy. I certainly feel we have been respectful to any religious group that may come see the play, I just feel it focuses on the religious experience of the individual rather than being affiliated with any specific religious organisation. This sense of doubt though is not from a lack of bravery but is instead deliberate to reflect the current climate.  How can any one person strongly maintain their beliefs in such a predominantly secular society, when even facts now are becoming up for debate and beliefs in their own right? The world is rife with disbelief. Max describes himself as “The reversed man. Running backwards in a crowd of backwards people, backed up against a wall with nowhere to go.” And this play is for any person who resonates with that sentence, whether they turn to science or religion when backed up against that wall.

Chalk Line Theatre is a multi-award-winning Luton Based Company forming in 2017. The company consists of Sam Edmunds and William Patrick Harrison, both of whom trained on the BA Acting and Contemporary Theatre course at East 15 Acting School. They have recently won the Epping Forest Creativity Award and The Love Luton Award, as well as being commissioned by Imagine Luton and Arts Council England to create work for the Imagine Luton Festival 2018

Testament is an award-winning play exploring how humans deal with grief and how it effects those around them, exploring suicide, loss and guilt. 

Playwright Sam Edmunds upon writing the play said ‘When you lose someone you love, you treasure them through the memories you have shared; clinging onto to this to keep them alive. I wanted to look at what would happen if those memories came back to life, how it would affect someone mentally and how far you would go to keep it that way.’

Testament was first staged at East 15 Acting School's Debut Festival by a collection of creatives from the BA Acting and Contemporary Theatre Course; notable alumni include, Antler and The Pretend Men. This show is distinctive as it combines many art forms to amplify a raw and heartfelt narrative; using live projection, originally composed electronic soundscapes, spoken word and has a multi operational set. It is a piece of theatre which aims to take the audience on a journey they haven’t experienced.

The show leads us on a journey that asks important questions about the value we place on relationships and the importance of our shared experiences.  It’s a thoughtful piece that thoroughly charmed me.

- Luke Clarke The Alchemist Theatre Company

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